No More Learning

'Hauslieder' (Household Songs: 1844), and his poems upon Chamisso
and Uhland, are among the most beautiful personal poems in German
literature.
A MAN OF BUSINESS
From The Amazon': copyrighted by G. P. Putnam's Sons
HⓇ
ERR KRAFFT was about to reply, but was prevented by the
hasty appearance of Herr Heyboldt, the first procurist, who
entered the apartment; not an antiquated comedy figure in
shoe-buckles, coarse woolen socks, velvet pantaloons, and a long-
tailed coat, his vest full of tobacco, and a goose-quill back of his
comically flexible ear; no, but a fine-looking man, dressed in
the latest style and in black, with a medal in his button-hole,
and having an earnest, expressive countenance. He was house-
holder, member of the City Council, and militia captain; the
gold medal and colored ribbon on his left breast told of his
VIII-295


## p. 4706 (#500) ###########################################

4706
FRANZ VON DINGELSTEDT
having saved, at the risk of his own life, a Leander who had
been carried away by the current in the swimming-baths.
-
His announcement, urgent as it was, was made without haste,
deliberate and cool, somewhat as the mate informs the captain.
that an ugly wind has sprung up. "Herr Principal," he said,
"the crowd has broken in the barriers and one wing of the gate-
way; they are attacking the counting-house.
"Who breaks,
pays," said Krafft, with a joke; "we will charge the sport to their
account. " — "The police are not strong enough; they have sent to
the Royal Watch for military. "-"That is right, Heyboldt. No
accident, no arms or legs broken? "—"Not that I know of. ” –
"Pity for Meyer Hirsch; he would have thundered magnificently
in the official Morning News against the excesses of the rage for
speculation. Nor any one wounded by the police? "-"Not any,
so far. " "Pity for Hirsch Meyer. The oppositional Evening
Journal has missed a capital opportunity of weeping over the
barbarity of the soldateska. At all events, the two papers must
continue to write one for, the other against us. Keep Hirsch
Meyer and Meyer Hirsch going. "-"All right, Herr Prin-
cipal. " "Send each of them a polite line, to the effect that
we have taken the liberty of keeping a few shares for him, to
sell them at the most favorable moment, and pay him over the
difference. " — "It shall be attended to, Herr Principal. ” — “So our
Southwestern Railway goes well, Heyboldt ? "-"By steam, Herr
Principal. " The sober man smiled at his daring joke, and Herr
Krafft smiled affably with him. "The amount that we have left
to furnish will be exhausted before one has time to turn around.
The people throw money, bank-notes, government bonds, at our
cashiers, who cannot fill up the receipts fast enough. On the
Bourse they fought for the blanks. " "For the next four weeks
we will run the stock up, Heyboldt; after that it can fall, but
slowly, with decorum. "-"I understand, Herr Principal. "
A cashier came rushing in without knocking. "Herr Princi-
pal," he stammered in his panic, "we have not another blank,
and the people are pouring in upon us more and more vio-
lently. Wild shouts call for you. " "To your place, sir," thun-
dered Krafft at him. "I shall come when I think it time. In
no case," he added more quietly, "before the military arrive.
We need an interference, for the sake of the market. " The mes-
senger disappeared; but pale, bewildered countenances were to
be seen in the doorways of the comptoir; the house called for
―――――


## p. 4707 (#501) ###########################################

FRANZ VON DINGELSTEDT
4707
its master: the trembling daughter sent again and again for her
father.
"Let us bring the play to a close," said Herr Krafft, after
brief deliberation; he stepped into the middle office, flung open a
window, and raising his harsh voice to its loudest tones, cried to
the throng below, "You are looking for me, folks. Here I am.
What do you want of me? " "Shares, subscriptions," was the
noisy answer. "You claim without any right or any manners.
This is my house, a peaceable citizen's house. You are breaking
in as though it were a dungeon, an arsenal, a tax-office,-as
though we were in the midst of a revolution. Are you not
ashamed of yourselves? " A confused murmur rang through the
astonished ranks. "If you wish to do business with me,"
‚» con-
tinued the merchant, << you must first learn manners and disci-
pline. Have I invited your visit? Do I need your money, or do
you need my shares? Send up some deputies to convey your
requests. I shall have nothing to do with a turbulent mob. " So
saying, he closed the window with such violence that the panes
cracked, and the fragments fell down on the heads of the assail-
ants.
-
-
"The Principal knows how to talk to the people," said Hey-
boldt with pride to Roland, the mute witness of this strange
scene. "He speaks their own language. He replies to a broken
door with a broken window. "
Meantime a company of soldiers had arrived on double-quick,
with a flourish of drums. The officer's word of command rang
through the crowd, now grown suddenly quiet: "Fix bayonets!
form line! march! " Yard and passages were cleared, the doors
guarded; in the street the low muttering tide, forced back, made
a sort of dam. Three deputies, abashed and confused, appeared
at Krafft's door and craved audience. The merchant received
them like a prince surrounded by his court, in the midst of his
clerks, in the large counting-room. The spokesman commenced:
"We ask your pardon, Herr Krafft, for what has happened. "
"For shame, that you should drag in soldiers as witnesses and
peacemakers in a quiet little business affair among order-loving
citizens. " "It was reported that we had been fooled with these
subscriptions, and that the entire sum had been already disposed
of on the Bourse. " "And even if that were so, am I to be
blamed for it? The Southwestern Railway must raise thirty
millions. Double, treble that amount is offered it. Can I prevent


## p. 4708 (#502) ###########################################

4708
FRANZ VON DINGELSTEDT
the necessity of reducing the subscriptions? " "No; but they
say that we poor folks shall not get a cent's worth; the big men
of the Bourse have gobbled up the best bits right before our
noses. " "They say so? Who says so? Court Cooper Täubert,
I ask you who says so? "-"Gracious Herr Court Banker - "
<< Don't Court or Gracious me. My name is Krafft, Herr Hans
Heinrich Krafft. I think we know each other, Master Täubert.
It is not the first time that we have done business together.
You have a very snug little share in
little share in my workingmen's
bank. Grain-broker Wüst, you have bought one of the houses in
my street.
Do I ever dun you for the installments of purchase
money? " "No indeed, Herr Krafft; you are a good man, a
public-spirited man, no money-maker, no leech, no Jew! " cried
the triumvirate of deputies in chorus. "I am nothing more than
you are: a man of business, who works for his living, the son of
a peasant, a plain simple citizen. I began in a smaller way
than any of you; but I shall never forget that I am flesh of your
flesh, blood of your blood. Facts have proved it. I will give
you a fresh proof to-day. Go home and tell the people who
have sent you, Hans Heinrich Krafft will give up the share
which his house has subscribed to the Southwestern Railway, in
favor of the less wealthy citizens of this city. This sum of five
hundred thousand thalers shall be divided up pro rata among the
subscriptions under five hundred dollars. »
"Heaven bless you, Herr Krafft! " stammered out the court
cooper, and the grain-broker essayed to shed a tear of gratitude;
the confidential clerk Herr Lange, the third of the group, caught
at the hand of the patron to kiss it, with emotion. Krafft drew
it back angrily. "No self-abasement, Herr Lange," he said.
"We are men of the people; let us behave as such. God bless
you, gentlemen. You know my purpose. Make it known to the
good people waiting outside, and see that I am rid of my billet-
ing. Let the subscriptions be conducted quietly and in good
order. Adieu, children! " The deputation withdrew. A few
minutes afterwards there was heard a thundering hurrah:-
«< Hurrah for Herr Krafft! Three cheers for Father Krafft! "
He showed himself at the window, nodded quickly and soberly,
and motioned to them to disperse.
While the tumult was subsiding, Krafft and Roland retired into
the private counting-room. "You have," the latter said, "spoken
nobly, acted nobly. "—"I have made a bargain, nothing more,
--
-


## p. 4709 (#503) ###########################################

FRANZ VON DINGELSTEDT
4709
nothing less; moreover, not a bad one. ". "How so? "—"In three
months I shall buy at 70, perhaps still lower, what I am now to
give up to them at 90. " "You know that beforehand? ».
"With
mathematical certainty. The public expects an El Dorado in the
Southwestern Railway, as it does in every new enterprise. The
undertaking is a good one, it is true, or I should not have ven-
tured upon it. But one must be able to wait until the fruit is
ripe. The small holders cannot do that; they sow to-day, and to-
morrow they wish to reap. At the first payment their heart and
their purse are all right. At the second or third, both are gone.
Upon the least rise they will throw the paper, for which they
were ready to break each other's necks, upon the market, and so
depreciate their property. But if some fortuitous circumstance
should cause a pressure upon the money market, then they drop
all that they have, in a perfect panic, for any price. I shall
watch this moment, and buy. In a year or so, when the road
is finished and its communications complete, the shares that were
subscribed for at 90, and which I shall have bought at 60 to 70,
will touch 100, or higher. "
-
-
"That is to say," said Roland, thoughtfully, "you will gain
at the expense of those people whose confidence you have
aroused, then satisfied with objects of artificial value, and finally
drained for yourself. " "Business is business," replied the familiar
harsh voice. "Unless I become a counterfeiter or a forger I can
do nothing more than to convert other persons' money into my
own; of course, in an honest way. "-"And you do this, without
fearing lest one day some one mightier and luckier than you
should do the same to you? "-"I must be prepared for that; I
am prepared. ” — "Also for the storm,—not one of your own creat-
ing, but one sent by the wrath of God, that shall scatter all this
paper splendor of our times, and reduce this appalling social
inequality of ours to a universal zero? " "Let us quietly abide
this Last Day," laughed the banker, taking the artist by the
arm.


## p. 4710 (#504) ###########################################

4710
FRANZ VON DINGELSTEDT
THE
THE WATCHMAN
HE last faint twinkle now goes out
Up in the poet's attic;
And the roisterers, in merry rout,
Speed home with steps erratic.
Soft from the house-roofs showers the snow,
The vane creaks on the steeple,
The lanterns wag and glimmer low
In the storm by the hurrying people.
The houses all stand black and still,
The churches and taverns deserted,
And a body may now wend at his will,
With his own fancies diverted.
Not a squinting eye now looks this way,
Not a slanderous mouth is dissembling,
And a heart that has slept the livelong day
May now love and hope with trembling.
Dear Night! thou foe to each base end,
While the good still a blessing prove thee,
They say that thou art no man's friend,-
Sweet Night! how I therefore love thee!


## p. 4711 (#505) ###########################################

4711
DIOGENES LAERTIUS
(200-250 A. D. ? )
T IS curious how often we are dependent, for our knowledge
of some larger subject, upon a single ancient author, who
would be hardly worthy of notice but for the accidental loss
of the books composed by fitter and abler men. Thus, our only gen-
eral description of Greece at the close of the classical period is
written by a man who describes many objects that he certainly did
not see, who leaves unmentioned numberless things we wish ex-
plained, and who has a genius for so misplacing an adverb as to
bring confusion into the most commonplace statement. But not even
to Pausanias do we proffer such grudging gratitude and such un-
grateful objurgations as to Diogenes Laertius, our chief- often our
sole-authority for the 'Lives and Sayings of the Philosophers. ' His
book is a fascinating one, and even amusing,- if we can forget what
we so much wanted in its stead. At second or third hand, from the
compendiums of the schools rather than from the original works of
the great masters themselves, Diogenes does give us a fairly intelli-
gible sketch, as a rule, of the outward life lived by each sage. This
slight frame is crammed with anecdotes, evidently culled with most
eager and uncritical hand from miscellaneous collections. Many of
these stories are so fragmentary as to be pointless. Others are un-
questionably attached to the wrong person. This method is at
maddest in the author's sketch of his namesake, the Recluse of the
Tub. (One of Ali Baba's jars, by the way, would give a better notion
of the real hermitage. ) Since this "philosopher» had himself little
character and no doctrines, the loose string of anecdotes, puns, and
saucy answers suits all our needs. Throughout the work are scattered
apocryphal letters, and feeble poetic epigrams composed by the com-
piler himself.
The leaning of our most unphilosophic author was
apparently toward Epicurus. The loss of that teacher's own works
causes us to prize doubly the extensive fragments of them preserved
in this relatively copious and serious study. The lover of the great
Epicurean poem of Lucretius on the 'Nature of Things' will often be
surprised to find here the source of many among the Roman poet's
most striking doctrines and images. The sketch of Zeno is also an
important authority on Stoicism. Instruction in these particular chap-
ters, then, and rich diversion elsewhere, await the reader of this most
gossipy, formless, and uncritical volume. The English reader, by the


## p. 4712 (#506) ###########################################

4712
DIOGENES LAERTIUS
way, ought to be provided with something better than the "Bohn"
version. This adds a goodly harvest of ludicrous misprints and other
errors of every kind to Diogenes's own mixture of borrowed wisdom
and native silliness. The classical student will prefer the Didot edi-
tion by Cobet, with the Latin version in parallel columns.
It has been thought desirable to offer here a version, slightly
abridged, of Diogenes's chapter on Socrates. The original sources,
in Plato's and Xenophon's extant works, will almost always explain,
or correct, the statements of Diogenes. Such wild shots as the
assertion that the plague repeatedly visited Athens, striking down
every inhabitant save the temperate Socrates, hardly need a serious
rejoinder. Diogenes cannot even speak with approximate accuracy
of Socrates's famous Dæmon or Inward Monitor. We know, on the
best authority, that it prophesied nothing, even proposed nothing,
but only vetoed the rasher impulses of its human companion. But
to apply the tests of mere accuracy to Diogenes would be like criti-
cizing Uncle Remus for his sins against English syntax.
Of the author's life we know nothing. Our assignment of him to
the third century is based merely on the fact that he quotes writers
of the second, and is himself in turn cited by somewhat later authors.
LIFE OF SOCRATES
From the 'Lives and Sayings of the Philosophers >
SOCR
OCRATES was the son of Sophroniscus a sculptor and Phæna-
rete a midwife [as Plato also states in the 'Theætetus'], and
an Athenian, of the deme Alopeke. He was believed to aid
Euripides in composing his dramas. Hence Mnesimachus speaks
thus:
And again:
"This is Euripides's new play, the 'Phrygians':
And Socrates has furnished him the sticks. "
"Euripides, Socratically patched. "
Callias also, in his 'Captives,' says:-
――
A-"Why art so solemn, putting on such airs?
B- Indeed I may; the cause is Socrates. "
Aristophanes, in the 'Clouds,' again, remarks:
"And this is he who for Euripides
Composed the talkative wise tragedies. "


## p. 4713 (#507) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4713
He was a pupil of Anaxagoras, according to some authorities, but
also of Damon, as Alexander states in his 'Successions. ' After
the former's condemnation he became a disciple of Archelaus the
natural philosopher. But Douris says he was a slave, and carried
stones. Some say, too, that the Graces on the Acropolis are his;
they are clothed figures. Hence, they say, Timon in his 'Silli'
declares:
-
"From them proceeded the stone-polisher,
Prater on law, enchanter of the Greeks,
Who taught the art of subtle argument,
The nose-in-air, mocker of orators,
Half Attic, the adept in irony. "
For he was also clever in discussion. But the Thirty Tyrants,
as Xenophon tells us, forbade him to teach the art of arguing.
Aristophanes also brings him on in comedy, making the Worse
Argument seem the better. He was moreover the first, with his
pupil schines, to teach oratory. He was likewise the first who
conversed about life, and the first of the philosophers who came
to his end by being condemned to death. We are also told that
he lent out money. At least, investing it, he would collect what
was due, and then after spending it invest again. But Demetrius
the Byzantine says it was Crito who, struck by the charm of his
character, took him out of the workshop and educated him.
Realizing that natural philosophy was of no interest to men,
it is said, he discussed ethics, in the workshops and in the
agora, and used to say he was seeking
"Whatsoever is good in human dwellings, or evil. ”
And very often, we are told, when in these discussions he con-
versed too violently, he was beaten or had his hair pulled out,
and was usually laughed to scorn. So once when he was kicked,
and bore it patiently, some one expressed surprise; but he said,
"If an ass had kicked me, would I bring an action against him?
>>>
Foreign travel he did not require, as most men do, except
when he had to serve in the army.
At other times, remaining
in Athens, he disputed in argumentative fashion with those who
conversed with him, not so as to deprive them of their belief,
but to strive for the ascertainment of truth. They say Euripides
gave him the work of Heraclitus, and asked him, "What do you
think of it? " And he said, "What I understood is fine; I sup-
pose what I did not understand is, too; only it needs a Delian


## p. 4714 (#508) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4714
diver! " He attended also to physical training, and was in excel-
lent condition. Moreover, he went on the expedition to Am-
phipolis, and when Xenophon had fallen from his horse in the
battle of Delium he picked him up and saved him. Indeed,
when all the other Athenians were fleeing he retreated slowly,
turning about calmly, and on the lookout to defend himself if
attacked. He also joined the expedition to Potidæa-by sea,
for the war prevented a march by land; and it was there he
was said once to have remained standing in one position all
night. There too, it is said, he was pre-eminent in valor, but
gave up the prize to Alcibiades, of whom he is stated to have
been very fond. Ion of Chios says moreover that when young
he visited Samos with Archelaus, and Aristotle states that he
went to Delphi. Favorinus again, in the first book of his 'Com-
mentaries,' says he went to the Isthmus.
He was also very firm in his convictions and devoted to the
democracy, as was evident from his not yielding to Critias and
his associates when they bade him bring Leon of Salamis, a
wealthy man, to them to be put to death. He was also the only
one who opposed the condemnation of the ten generals. When
he could have escaped from prison, too, he would not. The
friends who wept at his fate he reproved, and while in prison he
composed those beautiful discourses.
He was also temperate and austere. Once, as Pamphila tells
us in the seventh book of her 'Commentaries,' Alcibiades offered
him a great estate, on which to build a house; and he said, "If
I needed sandals, and you offered me a hide from which to make
them for myself, I should be laughed at if I took it. " Often,
too, beholding the multitude of things for sale, he would say to
himself, "How many things I do not need! " He used constantly
to repeat aloud these iambic verses:-
"But silver plate and garb of purple dye
To actors are of use,- but not in life. "
He disdained the tyrants,-Archelaus of Macedon, Scopas of
Crannon, Eurylochus of Melissa,-not accepting gifts from them.
nor visiting them. He was so regular in his way of living that
he was frequently the only one not ill when Athens was attacked
by the plague.
Aristotle says he wedded two wives, the first Xanthippe,
who bore him Lamprocles, and the second Myrto, daughter of


## p. 4715 (#509) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4715
Aristides the Just, whom he received without dowry and by
whom he had Sophroniscus and Menexenus. Some however say
he married Myrto first; and some again that he had them both
at once, as the Athenians on account of scarcity of men passed
a law to increase the population, permitting any one to marry
one Athenian woman and have children by another; so Socrates
did this.
He was a man also able to disdain those who mocked him.
He prided himself on his simple manner of living, and never
exacted any pay.
He used to say he who ate with best appetite
had least need of delicacies, and he who drank with best appetite
had least need to seek a draught not at hand; and that he who
had fewest needs was nearest the gods. This indeed we may
learn from the comic poets, who in their very ridicule covertly
praise him. Thus Aristophanes says:
"O thou who hast righteously set thy heart on attaining to noble
wisdom,
[Hellenes!
How happy the life thou wilt lead among the Athenians and the
Shrewdness and memory both are thine, and energy unwearied
Of mind; and never art thou tired from standing or from walking.
By cold thou art not vexed at all, nor dost thou long for breakfast.
Wine thou dost shun, and gluttony, and every other folly. "
Ameipsias also, bringing him upon the stage in the philoso-
pher's cloak, says: -
"O Socrates, best among few men, most foolish of many, thou also
Art come unto us; thou'rt a patient soul; but where didst get that
doublet?
That wretched thing in mockery was presented by the cobblers!
Yet though so hungry, he never however has stooped to flatter a
mortal. "
This disdain and arrogance in Socrates has also been exposed
by Aristophanes, who says:-
"Along the streets you haughtily strut; your eyes roll hither and
thither:
Barefooted, enduring discomforts, you go with countenance solemn
among us. "
And yet sometimes, suiting himself to the occasion, he dressed
finely; as when for instance in Plato's 'Symposium' he goes to
Agathon's.


## p. 4716 (#510) ###########################################

4716
DIOGENES LAERTIUS
He was a man able both to urge others to action, and to
dissuade them. Thus, when he conversed with Theætetus on
Knowledge, he sent him away inspired, as Plato says. Again,
when Euthyphron had indicted his own father for manslaughter,
by conversing with him on piety Socrates turned him from his
purpose. Lysis also by his exhortations he rendered a most
moral man. He was moreover skillful in fitting his arguments
to the circumstances. He changed the feeling of his son Lam-
procles when he was enraged with his mother, as Xenophon some-
where relates. Plato's brother Glaucon, who wished to be active
in politics, he dissuaded because of his inexperience, as Xenophon
states; but Charmides on the other hand, who was well fitted,
he urged on. He roused the spirit of Iphicrates the general
also, pointing out to him the cocks of Midias the barber fighting
those of Callias. He said it was strange that every man could
tell easily how many sheep he had, but could not call by name
the friends whom he had acquired, so negligent were men in
that regard. Once seeing Euclid devoting great pains to cap-
tious arguments, he said, "O Euclid, you will be able to manage
sophists-but men, never! " For he thought hair-splitting on
such matters useless, as Plato also says in his 'Euthydemus. '
When Glaucon offered him some slaves, so that he might
make a profit on them, he did not take them.
-
He praised leisure as the best of possessions, as Xenophon
also says in his 'Symposium. ' He used to say, too, that there
was but one good — knowledge; and one evil — ignorance. Wealth
and birth, he said, had no value, but were on the contrary
wholly an evil. So when some one told him Antisthenes's mother
was a Thracian, "Did you think," quoth he, "so fine a man
must be the child of two Athenians? " When Phædo had been
captured in war and shamefully enslaved, Socrates bade Crito
ransom him, and made him a philosopher.
He also learned, when already an old man, to play the lyre,
saying there was no absurdity in learning what one did not
know. He used to dance frequently, too, thinking this exercise
helpful to health. This Xenophon tells us in the 'Symposium. '
He used to say that his Dæmon foretold future events: and
that he knew nothing, except that very fact that he did know
nothing. Those who bought at a great price what was out of
season, he said, had no hope of living till the season came around.
Once being asked what was virtue in a young man, he said,


## p. 4717 (#511) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4717
"To avoid excess in all things. " He used to say one should study
geometry (surveying) just enough to be able to measure land in
buying and selling it.
When Euripides in the 'Auge' said of virtue: -
"These things were better left to lie untouched,»
he rose up and left the theatre, saying it was absurd to think it
proper to seek for a slave if he was not to be found, but to let
virtue perish unregarded. When his advice was asked whether
to marry or not, he said, "Whichever you do, you will regret it! "
He used to say that he marveled that those who made stone
statues took pains to make the stone as like the man as possible,
but took none with themselves, that they might not be like the
stone. He thought it proper for the young to look constantly in
the mirror, so that if they had beauty they might prove them-
selves worthy of it, and if they were ugly, that they might con-
ceal their ugliness by their accomplishments.
When he had invited rich friends to dinner, and Xanthippe
was ashamed, he said, "Do not be troubled. If they are sensible,
they will bear with us. If not, we shall care nothing for them. "
Most men, he said, lived to eat; but he ate to live. As to those
who showed regard for the opinions of the ignoble multitude, he
said it was as if a man should reject one tetradrachm [coin] as
worthless, but accept a heap of such coins as good. When
Eschines said, "I am poor and have nothing else, but I give you
myself," he said, "Do you then not realize you are offering me
the greatest of gifts? " To him who said, "The Athenians have
condemned you to death," he responded, "And nature has con-
demned them also thereto:" though some ascribe this to Anax-
agoras. When his wife exclaimed, "You die innocent! " he
answered, "Do you wish I were guilty? "
When a vision in sleep seemed to say:-
"Three days hence thou'lt come to the fertile region of Phthia,”
he said to Æschines, "On the third day I shall die. " When he
was to drink the hemlock, Apollodorus gave him a fine garment
to die in: "But why," quoth he, "is this garment of mine good
enough to live in, but not to perish in? " To him who said,
"So-and-so speaks ill of you," he answered, "Yes, he has not
learned to speak well. " When Antisthenes turned the ragged
side of his cloak to the light, he remarked, "I see your vanity.
-


## p. 4718 (#512) ###########################################

4718
DIOGENES LAERTIUS
through your cloak. " He declared we ought to put ourselves
expressly at the service of the comedy writers: "For if they say
anything about us that is true, they will correct us; and if what
they say be untrue, it does not concern us at all. ”
When Xanthippe had first reviled him, then drenched him
with water, "Didn't I tell you," said he, "it was thundering and
would soon rain? " To Alcibiades, who said Xanthippe's scolding
was unbearable, he replied, "I am accustomed to it, as to a con-
stantly creaking pulley. And you," he added, "endure the cack-
ling of geese. " Alcibiades said, "Yes, for they bring me eggs
and goslings. " "And Xanthippe," retorted Socrates, "bears me
children. " Once when she pulled off his cloak in the agora, his
friends advised him to defend himself with force. "Yes," said
he, "by Jove, so that as we fight, each of you may cry, 'Well
done, Socrates! ' 'Good for you, Xanthippe! '" He used to say
he practiced on Xanthippe just as trainers do with spirited horses.
"Just as they if they master them are able to control any other
horse, so I who am accustomed to Xanthippe shall get on easily
with any one else. "
It was for such words and acts as this that the Delphic priest-
ess bore witness in his honor, giving to Chairephon that famous
response:
"Wisest of all mankind is Socrates. "
He became extremely unpopular on account of this oracle;
but also because he convicted of ignorance those who had a great
opinion of themselves, particularly Anytus, as Plato also says in
the 'Meno. ' For Anytus, enraged at the ridicule Socrates brought
upon him, first urged Aristophanes and the rest on to attack
him, and then induced Meletus to join in indicting him for impi-
ety and for corrupting the young men. Plato in the 'Apology'
says there were three accusers,- Anytus, Lycon, and Meletus:
Anytus being incensed at him in behalf of the artisans and poli-
ticians, Lycon for the orators, and Meletus for the poets, all of
whom Socrates pulled to pieces. The sworn statement of the
plaintiffs ran as follows; for it is still recorded, Favorinus says,
in the State archives:-"Socrates is guilty, not honoring the
gods whom the State honors, but introducing other strange divin-
ities; and he is further guilty of corrupting the young.
Penalty,
death. "
When Lysias wrote a speech for his defense, he read it, and
said, "A fine speech, Lysias, but not suited to me;" for indeed


## p. 4719 (#513) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4719
it was rather a lawyer's plea than a philosopher's. Lysias said,
"But why, if the speech is a fine one, should it not be suitable
for you? " Socrates replied, "Would not fine robes, then, and
sandals, be unfitting for me? "
While he was on trial, it is stated that Plato ascended the
bema and began, "Being the youngest, O men of Athens, of all
who ever came upon the bema"- but at this point the judges
cried out, «< Come down come down! " So he was convicted by
two hundred and eighty-one votes more than were cast for his
acquittal. And when the judges considered what penalty or fine
he should receive, he said he would pay five-and-twenty drachmæ.
Euboulides says he agreed to pay a hundred, but when the
judges expressed their indignation aloud, he said, "For what I
have done, I consider the proper return to be support at the
public expense in the town hall. " But they condemned him to
death, the vote being larger than before by eighty.
Not many days later he drank the hemlock in the prison,
after uttering many noble words, recorded by Plato in the
'Phædo. According to some, he wrote a poem beginning -
<< Greeting, Apollo of Delos, and Artemis, youthful and famous. ”
He also versified, not very successfully, a fable of Æsop's
which began-
"Æsop once to the people who dwell in the city of Corinth
Said, 'Let virtue be judged not by the popular voice. › »
So he passed from among men; but straightway the Athenians
repented of their action, so that they closed the gymnasia, and
exiling the other accusers, put Meletus to death. Socrates they
honored with a statue of bronze, the work of Lysippus, which
was set up in the Pompeion. Anytus in exile, entering Heraclea,
was warned out of town that very day.
The Athenians have had the same experience not only in Soc-
rates's case, but with many others. Indeed, it is stated that they
fined Homer as a madman, and adjudged Tyrtæus to be crazy.
Euripides reproves them in the 'Palamedes,' saying:-
"Ye have slain, ye have slain the all-wise, the harmless nightin-
gale of the Muses. "
That is so. But Philochorus says Euripides died before Socrates.


## p. 4720 (#514) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4720
Socrates and Euripides were both disciples of Anaxagoras.
It appears to me, too, that Socrates did talk on natural philoso-
phy. In fact, Xenophon says so, though he states that Socrates.
held discourse only upon moral questions. Plato indeed, in the
'Apology,' mentioning Anaxagoras and other natural philosophers,
himself says of them things whereof Socrates denies any knowl-
edge; yet it is all ascribed to Socrates.
Aristotle states that a certain mage from Syria came to
Athens, and among other prophecies concerning Socrates foretold
that his death would be a violent one.
The following verses upon him are our own:
Drink, in the palace of Zeus, O Socrates, seeing that truly
Thou by a god wert called wise, who is wisdom itself.
Foolish Athenians, who to thee offered the potion of hemlock,
Through thy lips themselves draining the cup to the dregs!
Translated for A Library of the World's Best Literature,' by William
C. Lawton.
EXAMPLES OF GREEK WIT AND WISDOM
BIAS
The ves-
ON
NCE he was on a voyage with some impious men.
sel was overtaken by a storm, and they began to call upon
the gods for aid. But Bias said, "Be silent, so they may
not discover that you are aboard our ship! "
He declared it was pleasanter to decide a dispute between his
enemies than between friends. "For of two friends," he ex-
plained, "one is sure to become my enemy; but of two enemies
I make one friend. "
PLATO
IT is said Socrates, in a dream, seemed to be holding on his
knees a cygnet, which suddenly grew wings and flew aloft, sing-
ing sweetly. Next day Plato came to him; and Socrates said he
was the bird.
It is told that Plato, once seeing a man playing at dice,
reproved him. "The stake is but a trifle," said the other. "Yes,
but," responded Plato, "the habit is no trifle. "
Once when Xenocrates came into Plato's house, the latter
bade him scourge his slave for him, explaining that he could not


## p. 4721 (#515) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4721
do it himself, because he was angry. Again, he said to one
of his slaves, "You would have had a beating if I were not
angry.
>>
ARISTIPPUS
«<
DIONYSIUS Once asked him why it is that the philosophers are
seen at rich men's doors, not the rich men at the doors of the
sages. Aristippus replied, Because the wise realize what they
lack, but the rich do not. " On a repetition of the taunt on an-
other occasion he retorted, "Yes, and physicians are seen at sick
men's doors; yet none would choose to be the patient rather than
the leech! "
Once when overtaken by a storm on a voyage to Corinth, he
was badly frightened. Somebody said to him, "We ordinary folk
are not afraid, but you philosophers play the coward. " "Yes,"
was his reply, we are not risking the loss of any such wretched
life as yours.
<<
Some one reproached him for his extravagance in food. He
answered, "If you could buy these same things for threepence,
wouldn't you do it? "-"Oh yes. "Why then, 'tis not I who
am too fond of the luxurious food, but you that are over-fond of
your money! "
ARISTOTLE
WHEN asked, "What is Hope? " he answered, "The dream of
a man awake. " Asked what grows old quickest, he replied,
"Gratitude. " When told that some one had slandered him in
his absence, he said, "He may beat me too-in my absence! "
Being asked how much advantage the educated have over the
ignorant, he replied, "As much as the living over the dead. "
Some one asked him why we spend much time in the society
of the beautiful. "That," he said, "is a proper question for a
blind man! " [Cf. Emerson's 'Rhodora. ']
Once being asked how we should treat our friends, he said,
"As we would wish them to treat us. " Asked what a friend is,
he answered, "One soul abiding in two bodies. "
VIII-296


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4722
DIOGENES LAERTIUS
THEOPHRASTUS
To A man who at a feast was persistently silent, he remarked,
"If you are ignorant, you are acting wisely; if you are intelligent,
you are behaving foolishly. "
DEMETRIUS
IT WAS a saying of his that to friends in prosperity we should'
go when invited, but to those in misfortune unbidden.
When told that the Athenians had thrown down his statues,
he answered, "But not my character, for which they erected
them. "
ANTISTHENES
SOME one asked him what he gained from philosophy. He
replied, "The power to converse with myself. "
He advised the Athenians to pass a vote that asses were
horses. When they thought that irrational, he said, “But cer-
tainly, your generals are not such because they have learned any-
thing, but simply because you have elected them! "
DIOGENES
HE USED to say that when in the course of his life he saw
pilots, and physicians, and philosophers, he thought man the most
sensible of animals; but when he saw interpreters of dreams, and
soothsayers, and those who paid attention to them, and those
puffed up by fame or wealth, he believed no creature was sillier
than man.
Some said to him, "You are an old man.
Take life easy
now. " He replied,
He replied, "And if I were running the long-distance
race, should I when nearing the goal slacken, and not rather
exert myself? "
When he saw a child drink out of his hands, he took the cup
out of his wallet and flung it away, saying, "A child has beaten
me in simplicity. "
He used to argue thus, "All things belong to the gods. The
wise are the friends of the gods. The goods of friends are com-
mon property. Therefore all things belong to the wise. "
To one who argued that motion was impossible, he made no
answer, but rose and walked away.


## p. 4723 (#517) ###########################################

DIOGENES LAERTIUS
4723
When the Athenians urged him to be initiated into the Mys-
teries, assuring him that in Hades those who were initiated have
the front seats, he replied, "It is ludicrous, if Agesilaus and
Epaminondas are to abide in the mud, and some ignoble wretches
who are initiated are to dwell in the Isles of the Blest! "
Plato made the definition "Man is a two-footed featherless
animal," and was much praised for it. Diogenes plucked a fowl
and brought it into his school, saying "This is Plato's man! "
So the addition was made to the definition, "with broad nails. "
When a man asked him what was the proper hour for lunch,
he said, "If you are rich, when you please; if you are poor,
when you can get it. "
He used often to shout aloud that an easy life had been given
by the gods to men, but they had covered it from sight in their
search for honey-cakes and perfumes and such things.
The musician who was always left alone by his hearers he
greeted with "Good morning, cock! " When the other asked
him the reason, he said, "Because your music starts everybody
up. ”
When an exceedingly superstitious man said to him, "With
one blow I will break your head! " he retorted, "And with a
sneeze at your left side I will make you tremble. "
«<
When asked what animal had the worst bite, he said, Of.
wild beasts, the sycophant; and of tame creatures, the flatterer. ”
Being asked when was the proper time to marry, he responded,
"For young men, not yet; and for old men, not at all. "
When he was asked what sort of wine he enjoyed drink-
ing, he answered, "Another man's. " [Of a different temper
was Dante, who knew too well "how salt the bread of others
tastes! "]
Some one advised him to hunt up his runaway slave. But
he replied, "It is ridiculous if Manes lives without Diogenes, but
Diogenes cannot without Manes.