No More Learning

Father Luca's arrest had not come as a complete surprise, as he had heard that accusations of "subversion" and "anti-Communist activities" had been made against him at public meetings. He had promised himself that, if imprisoned, he would defend the Church and say nothing false. His initial response to interrogation was, therefore, one of forthright defiance. When the judge asked him whether he knew why he had been arrested, he replied, "It must be either due to a misunderstanding or else it is a matter of religion. " This angered the judge, who insisted, "There is no matter of re- ligion. We have freedom of religion in China, It is because you op- posed the interests of the people. " During subsequent questions about his activities and associations in China, Father Luca noticed that his interrogator began to dwell particularly upon his relation- ship with another priest, Father C? a friend of his whose political and military activities against the Communists Father Luca had himself criticized.
This first interrogation lasted for just one hour, but it served to orient Father Luca for his later confession:
In my mind I had the question, "What will they accuse me of? How will they do it? " Now I began to understand--they would put
? 40 THOUGHT REFORM
the question of my relationship with Father C as the important thing. It was good to understand this, but I was not sure how they would go about it. I had heard that the Communists made people confess to all kinds of fantastic charges. But I was then determined not to admit to anything that wasn't true.
He was equally defiant in the cell, penetrating and critical in his observations of his captors. When the cell chief advised him that he would be quickly released if he would "say all you have done/' he skeptically replied: "But I have heard that you have been here for six months. Since you must have confessed all of your deeds, how is it that you are still here? " And when he witnessed his first struggle (against another prisoner)--during which the cell chief urged everyone to "help" the man under fire--he thought to him- self: "So this is the way of the Communists--using good words to do bad things: to help means to maltreat people. "
He was awakened from his sleep on the second night and inter- rogated about Father C's assistants. He was able to tell the Chris- tian name of one, but stated that he did not know the other. The judge heatedly insisted: "It is impossible that you do not know him. You are not being honest or sincere. " Father Luca bridled at this impugning of his integrity, angrily insisting that he was being sin- cere, and was telling the entire truth. The judge's immediate re- sponse was to order chains with twenty-pound weights placed around Father Luca's ankles. He then asked the prisoner the same ques- tion, and again received a similar reply. Luca was dismissed and sent back to his cell; there the cell chief, upon seeing the chains, severely castigated him. When called back less than an hour later, his answers still failed to satisfy, and handcuffs were placed about his wrists.
During the third night's interrogation, the judge emphasized the closeness of Father Luca's relationship with Father C, strongly im- plying that he must have known him before coming to China. When Luca insisted that they had first met in Peking, the judge left the room and Luca was required to sit on the ground with his legs, in chains, stretched out. Unable to maintain this position, he would lean backward; his weight would then fall on his wrists, which were shackled behind his back. Finding the pain of the handcuffs digging into his skin and the general discomfort of his position to
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 41 be unbearable, thoughts of surrender and compromise came to him
for the first time:
It is as I have been told. They will have their false confession. But I don't want to make a false confession. Maybe there is a way to say something that is not totally untrue to satisfy them--but what? . . . . I've said the truth. They don't want the truth. I've only one way to escape: to guess what they really want. With all the circumstances of my life, the most believable thing was that in going back to Europe it waspossible to meet him . . . not true, but believable.
He replied that they had met in Europe after the war. The judge was still displeased. And at that point, an assistant passed some- thing to the judge which to Father Luca looked like a photograph.
I thought, "Certainly this can't be a photograph of Father C and my- self taken outside of China. It must be the photograph I made with Chinese priests in Rome in 1939 [he had really posed for such a pic- ture]. They must be using this photograph as proof that I had seen Father C there. " I don't know how I came to think this. I gave my mind such an explanation because I could not endure the pain. I was coming to the conclusion that they wanted me to say I had seen him in Rome. I thought it might be according to a story which they wanted to put out that Father C was doing espionage work under directions from the Vatican. I knew that this was their line from their propaganda.
So, in answer to the judge's original question about their meet- ing, Father Luca said: "It was in Rome, in 1939. " He was im- mediately permitted to stand up, experiencing direct relief of the pain, and a few minutes later was taken back to his cell.
The Labyrinth
But the cell chief, acting upon instructions from above, still denounced Luca as not "sincere," and ordered that he remain con- tinuously standing, in order for him to "meditate" on his "crimes. " And for the next month--a harrowing maze of nightly interrogations and daily struggles--he was kept constantly awake, his cellmates alternating in their "night duty," pinching, slapping, and poking him to make sure that he did not sleep. Because he was forced to maintain a standing position, his legs became swollen and distended
? 42 THOUGHT REFORM
with fluid. He remembers being permitted to sleep on only three occasions: once when he fainted, another time when he became so confused that he could not follow the interrogation, and a third time when interrogations were postponed because of a heavy storm. He estimates that he slept for a total of only sixteen hours during this entire four-week period. He became increasingly confused, and could no longer tell night from day; he found himself constantly straining his faculties in his attempts to understand just what it was he was expected to say:
At the beginning it was only a question of curiosity, but afterwards, when I couldn't endure it and my mind was confused, I thought, "Why don't they say exactly what they want me to say? It is so difficult to get at what they want. " After two weeks I would say almost anything they wanted me to say . . . but of course not easily.
In this state, he "confessed" to three major "crimes": use of a concealed radio set to send and receive "espionage" information; organization of a ring of young boys for the purpose of conducting sabotage and writing anti-Communist publications (the public ac- cusation made prior to his imprisonment); and the active participa- tion--as "secretary"--in an "espionage organization" allegedly headed by Father C. All three of these "admissions" were false, built up through half-truths and fabrications.
Father Luca's description of the step-by-step development of these "espionage" themes so graphically reveals the unfolding of his false confession--and his developing belief in some of his own false- hoods--that I have allowed him to speak here at some length. As he told me about the first of these, the concealed radio theme, I was impressed by the complexities of the tortuous process involved:
The first thing about the radio came when the interrogator said: "You have other things which you don't speak about, but you can be sure that the people know them. Don't think that we're not informed. " I said that I knew there were some people who said I had a special radio --a short wave set. 1 had heard this accusation before I had been arrested. I told him there was nothing true about it. He said, "You say so, but what is the reality? What have you put in your storeroom immediately after the liberation? "
I said that I had put nothing there. Then I thought, "Maybe there is something--not a radio--but there was a friend of mine who visited me before the Communists came--and entrusted me with some of his things. " I tried to think whether I had put some of his things in the
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 43
storeroom. My mind was not so strong. I said, "Yes--there may be some things that I didn't remember. " I also knew that there was a boy who had worked for us who had turned against us and could have reported anything we stored. So, although I did not think there was a radio there, I dared not oppose what the judge said. He said, "Was it a receiver or a sender? " He said it first because I hadn't known the Chinese word for receiver and sender. At first I said that it wasn't either. Then I said, "Maybe a receiver--yes--perhaps a sender. " There was a moment when I had the visualization of an actual sender--but I knew best, it was not true. Like sometimes when you are half dream- ing and youseesomething. . . .
Afterwards, when they asked me how it had come into my hands, I also had to tell a story about this. I said that my friend went away and left it for me, and that a servant had helped me to dismantle it. Then the judge said, "You must have been helped by people who understood electricity. " . . . Then I brought in two more men, an electrician who worked in the cathedral, and a young boy who liked to tinker with electrical gadgets. . . . The next part also came out logically from what I had said before. I thought if somebody would have a radio the worst place to keep it would be in the cathedral, because it was known that the Communists especially watched churches and frequently made accusations that there were radio senders there. So I said I had put it some other place. At first I said I couldn't remember the street name. When they insisted, I gave them the name: "Ironwall Street. " I made it up. When the judge told me the following day that he couldn't find the street on the map, I told him that perhaps I couldn't remember it correctly. . . .
Then I imagined rather clearly a street with a house, a front room, and behind the front room a radio sender. I had a clear imaginationof all this without knowing whether it was true. . . . It was like what I have heard about writing a novel--imagining people who act in a certain way--landscapes and circumstances. For writers, it is very vivid --like the real thing--but of course they know that it is not the real thing. W ith me it was really vivid--yet not having totally lost the idea that it wasuntrue. . . . I rather tried to have something logical. . . . In the cell, the other prisoners made suggestions and it developed that I didn't only send messages but also received information. . . . . So, little by little, it became not only once but many times, with many other people--and also connected with other priests. . . . It became a whole organization. . . . To some extent I visualized the spy organiza- tion. I also invented names and many other details.
The second theme, about the subversive ring of small boys, in- cluded a personal confrontation:
After one week the judge interrogated me about a certain Chinese boy. I told him the truth, that the name was not familiar to me. Then he
? 44 THOUGHT REFORM
confronted me with the boy in person, and I told him again that I did not know him. But the boy said he knew me, and also that I had told him to write anti-Communist pamphlets. I snowed some hesitation, as I had contact with a thousand boys as a parish priest.
The judge said I was not sincere--put the handcuffs on me again-- and again made me sit in that extremely painful position until I con- fessed that I knew the boy. From this kind of interrogation, and from the suggestions which were made in the cell, gradually the confession built up, . . . I knew that I had been accused of instigating a boy to write anti-Communist slogans and to throw stones at street lights. . , . Many of the more concrete suggestions came from the cell. The chief would say, "You have already said you have done this, you must have done more. There must have been more boys. " Finally a con- fession somehow developed in which I said there had been twenty-five boys in this organization whose purpose was conducting sabotage and writing anti-Communist publications.
The third, Father C s organization, involved pressures from cell- mates, developing the points which Father Luca had already "admitted" during the interrogations.
They said, "Well, you certainly did something for Father C. " I said, "No, that would have been impossible. I had just come to China. I didn't know the situation. I didn't know Chinese. " They said, "You didn't know Chinese, but you do know foreign languages. " I admitted that I did. And so somehow the suggestion came out that, since I had to be doing something for him, maybe it was writing, some kind of clerical work. This seemed to be the only thing I could do for him. So it came to be like a conviction that not only I could do this, but that I had done this. . . . 1 remembered that Father C had once men- tioned an uncle of his and an old lady he knew, both in Switzerland. So I mixed this thing I heard from him with the suggestion I had written letters for him. And so I said I had written letters to that uncle and old lady in Switzerland.
They said, "You say you have not participated in his organization. Now you say you have written letters for him. That is a connection in his organization. Now what was your title? A man who writes letters like this for an organization--what is he called? What is his title? ". . . . They didn't say exactly, but the meaning was very clear. I made the reply, "Secretary. " After that I knew I must accept the title of Secretary. . . . I did not really believe I had been a secretary but rny mind was confused, and I felt it was impossible to refute their [cell- mates] arguments.
I did develop the conviction that I had written two or three letters. It came little by little. . . . It is impossible to say exactly how these ideas first developed.
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 45
Father Luca's false visualizations (or illusions) varied in dura- tion from a fleeting moment to a period of a few weeks or months, merging into a dream-like state in which
I was mixed up between real and imaginary things and persons. I was no longer able to distinguish what was real and what was imaginary. . . . I had the notion that many things were imaginary, but I was not sure. I could not say, "This is real," or "This is not real. "
This inability to distinguish the real from the unreal extended beyond his immediate confession material. Once, just after he had fainted,
I had the idea that I was no longer in prison. I had been put in a small house outside the cathedral. People were going about outside--chiefly Christians. I heard voices and recognized some of them.
But this delusion was by no means completely removed from the confession, because in it he "came out into the garden" and saw two men, remembering the name of one of them but not of the other. And this he related to his interrogators' demands that he name "secret agents" (Chinese assistants to foreign priests), and his in- ability to remember the name of one of them in particular. The next day he questioned whether all of this had really happened, as it had become to him "half-dream, half-real. " He had two additional delusions which also contained fantasies of rescue, but were more elaborate--and more lasting:
I had the idea that in the cell next to mine was a priest whom I knew very well before. He had also been badly mistreated. One day in bright daylight somebody came into his cell and said to him, "You have talked very well. Your affair is very simple and it is now finished. We see that you are not so bad. W e'll take you out this afternoon for a trip to the summer palace [in Peking]. After that we will release you. "
Then I heard this priest go out with a sigh, and while he was walking past my cell, he spoke in Latin--saying the beginning words of the Mass--"I shall come unto the altar of God. " . . . I thought, "Maybe he is saying that because in coming out of jail he is glad that tomorrow he can say Mass. Or maybe he is offering the pain and the suffering experienced to God. " . . . I remember that at that moment I coughed to let him know I was there.
? 46 THOUGHT REFORM
So convinced was he that this episode really occurred that one year later, during a special movement for the exposure of all "bad behavior/' he "confessed" to having coughed on this occasion to attract the attention of his fellow priest. It was only when he ar- rived in Hong Kong after his release, and was told that this other priest had never been arrested, that he gave up his belief in this incident. And the same was true of another rather similar episode:
Another time, in bright daylight, I had the impression I heard a European consul speaking--visiting the prison with a group of people. They went to visit another cell--someone else. On their way out, he said, "I have heard that Father Luca was also here. " There was no answer from the prison official. He was just before my cell at that mo- ment--so again I coughed--but the officer led him away. I heard him talking in the courtyard and I coughed again to let him know I was there. But nothing happened. . . . Here in Hong Kong I asked the officials of my government whether a consul ever visited the prison. They said no, and that it certainly couldn't be true.
These delusions were also related to his confession material and to a sense of guilt which was building up within him. For all of the characters in them--the other priest, the consul, and himself --had been involved in an incident which he had already confessed in some detail. Father Luca, in attempting to arrange for a young Chinese girl to leave her country and continue her religious studies in Europe, had approached the other priest for assistance, and the consul for the necessary documents. He had been disturbed by this part of his confession because he feared that it might result in the imprisonment of the other priest, and also troubled by the realiza- tion that he had chosen to help this girl from among many others because of affection which he felt for her beyond that of religious sympathy. Further, he had come to realize these actions violated Chinese Communist law; and although his captors did not make much of this, he was troubled by having--in approaching the con- sul--used "political means for religious aims. "
This was an especially important issue in Father Luca's case because, despite his confused state, he continued to struggle against any possible betrayal of his loyalty to the Catholic Church. The judge had been exerting great pressure upon him to make some ad- mission of the Church's relationship to imperialistic activities of Western governments. When he refused to do this, he had been
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 47
required to resume the painful sitting position in which his hand- cuffs dug into his wrists; and the judge further explained, "I don't say that the Catholic Church is imperialistic. . . . I don't askyou to condemn religion . . . but just expect you to recognize that the imperialists used it as a 'cloak' for their invasion. " And thus un- der the pressure of "pain and explanation" Luca made the state- ment that "the imperialists used the Catholic Church as a cloak to make the invasion of China. " For this statement, and for in- cluding other missionaries (whom he feared might be consequently harmed) in his confession, he castigated himself severely, and looked upon himself as having been "weak. "
Yet through his mental haze, he attempted to understand his ordeal in terms of his religion;
In the first month I decided "Now I am suffering. It is for me a way of having penance for my sins. Now I think also that I have only one outlook and one hope--hope in God. "
The "Way9
But toward the end of this first month, Luca's physical and men- tal condition began to deteriorate. Infections had developed in the areas of his legs swollen by the chains. His increasing confusion made it difficult for him to keep the details of his confession straight. One fabrication required many more to support it, and this "novel," as he called it, became increasingly confused and contradictory. Then, during an interrogation session, he noticed the judge was moving his papers rapidly from one pile to another, until there were almost none left in the first pile. He became convinced that his case was close to being "solved," and this hope was further fed by the judge's sudden order that the heavy chains be removed from his ankles (the handcuffs had been taken off and put back on again several times, and at this point were also off). The judge then told him to sleep for the next two days, but continued to express disapproval concerning the confession, urging that after this long rest he come up with the proper material. Despite his great fatigue, Luca's fears prevented him from sleeping.
This show of leniency did not help him to add anything to his confession. A few nights later, when he had been called for an in-
? 48 THOUGHT REFORM
terrogation, the judge asked, "Now, have you any intention of be- ing sincere? " Father Luca replied, "I want to be sincere and obe- dient, but I am not certain how to do it. I hope you will show me a way. " To which the judge answered, "I will show you a way," and then called in several prison guards and left the room. These newcomers proceeded to gag Father Luca, hold him in a painful position, and then over the course of the night, to inflict upon him a series of painful injuries, mainly to his back. When they had left him about dawn, he lay helpless for about one hour with multiple fractures of his vertebral column. Then a young Chinese whom he had not met before entered the room and began to speak with him softly, in a kind voice, and in Italian--the first time he had heard his own language since his arrest. He was solicitous and did every- thing possible to make Luca comfortable; then he proceeded to question him in detail about his confession, and mostly about his relations with Father C.
Luca was affected by this human approach ("His way of ques- tioning was objective and impartial. . . . He spoke my own lan- guage. . . . It was easier for me to confess"). And he now gave a relatively accurate version of all of these events, quite different from his previous confession. He still felt compelled to exaggerate many aspects of it because "I knew if I told only the truth it wouldn't be sufficient"; but he included nothing that was grossly false. After about two hours, he complained of pain and weakness--both be- cause of his physical condition and his realization that "what re- mained was difficult. " His visitor agreed to end the interview, and shortly afterward, when it was discovered that Father Luca could not walk, he was carried back to his cell on a stretcher. He later learned that he had been interrogated by a "prisoner-official," a prisoner so "advanced" in his reform that he functions essentially as a staff member. So impressed was Luca with the special quality of this session that, when he was in difficulty on several other oc- casions later on, he asked to see this Italian-speaking prisoner-of- ficial again.
He was also at this time examined by a physician who confirmed his fear that his spine had been broken, but spoke to him reassur- ingly and told him that after some time it would heal.
The months which followed were especially trying. His case was less resolved than ever, and he was now physically completely help-
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 49
less, dependent upon his cellmates for his every need. After several days of lying on the stone floor, he was given a hard wooden bed with a rough blanket. He was visited on just one more occasion by the doctor, who arranged for his cellmates to request additional clothes and blankets from Father Luca's mission organization, which still existed on the outside. Luca derived some comfort from this because "I felt better about their beginning to take care of me. " But the only medical treatment he received at this time was the prescription of some leg exercises. His requests for assistance with urination or defecation were frequently refused; this, combined with his partial loss of control over both his urinary and anal sphinc- ters (on a neurological basis due to his injury) resulted in frequent soiling of his bedclothes and the cell. The odors caused further re- sentment and severe criticism from his cellmates, living as they were in an intimacy which made every occurrence the experience of all.
In addition, Luca's immobility led to the development of severely infected bedsores on his back, thighs, and toes. At first these were treated very inadequately with iodine and other topical applications; but after objections had been raised by his cellmates to the odor that emanated from them, he received more effective treatment in the form of careful bandaging and penicillin injections.
Luca constantly maintained attempts to recover his physical capacities. After a short period of time he began to exercise his toes; after three months he could begin to sit up; after one year, he could stand, leaning against the wall. Not until fifteen months after his injury was he able to walk to the toilet. His cellmates at first assisted him in his exercises, but their "help" was frequently so rough that it caused him great pain--and on one such occasion he cried out so loudly that a prison official heard him, and came run- ning into the cell to find out what the trouble was. After this, his cellmates offered little assistance.
Despite his physical incapacity, Luca was required to take part in cell activities--confession and reform. Immediately after his injury, this consisted of answering "little papers" sent down from the officials, asking specific questions about such matters as his relationship with Father C, and his activities on behalf of Catholic organizations in China. Not long afterward more exhausting ac- tivity was required of him: he had to participate in the interim-
? 50 THOUGHT REFORM
nable cell "study" activities. When he would doze off--as he did frequently--the cell chief would strike him smartly on top of his head with a straw brush.
Luca's inner experiences during this period were those of ex- treme humiliation, helplessness, and depression:
I could do nothing for myself. . . . During the night if I had to urinate, I had to wake the man near me. . . . I wassorrowful, . . . I thought, "I can never be well again. My legs will never be cured. I will be helpless in everything. . . . " I thought much about my parents, how they must be suffering about me. . . . I wept several times, chiefly during the night.
He found comfort, reassurance, and an outlet for his feelings only through his fantasies, which usually concerned rich emotional ex- periences he had known in the past: places and people he had loved, songs with special meaning, his home, and his mother.
I was thinking mostly at night of places I had been--walking with my parents, my brother and sister . . . chiefly of home . . . and of holi- day journeys. . . . Once I had the strange feeling I had come back to Europe to my parents. . . . I had another thing--not exactly a dream --but like an obsession, maybe a pastime. I would try to remember geographical names--names of towns I knew all over the world-- sometimes of rivers and seas also--a kind of geographical hobby. . . . I have always been rather interested in geography. . . . When I was in very bad condition, I would sing, externally or internally--chiefly rather sorrowful songs: Negro spirituals--Swannee River, Josiah, Old Kentucky Home, Home on the Range--these songs in English . . . also, European songs and songs I sang with the Legion of Mary and other religious groups . . , religious songs from Holy W eek, also rather sad. They gave me a remembrance of my life in the Church with the youth in China. . . , When I was particularly in bad shape, I sang Negro spirituals . . . and also one song my mother sang to me when I was a little boy--a Negro baby song. . . . It was sorrowful, but an opportunity to express oneself, a kind of relief.
Later in his imprisonment, he was able to share some of these emotions:
There was in my cell for a while a young fellow, a Chinese Catholic. I knew he was a Catholic, but it wasn't possible for us to say anything or to speak about religion. But at recreation time, we sometimes sang songs. He was fond of music and knew many songs--Schubert, Bee-
? FATHER LUCA: THE FALSE CONFESSION 51
thoven, Christmas carols. He would sing the tune, then I would sing-- sometimes together. It was a way to express a community of feelings-- the others didn't understand. .