No More Learning

Leave us alone for what time we
have together.

VOICE. (Confidentially. ) And we were engaged quite suddenly, Emma. I
assure you that I never thought of it for a moment; but, oh, my little
Me! --I don't know what I should have done if he hadn't proposed.

Capt. G. She thinks of that Deercourt girl before she thinks of me.
(Aloud. ) Minnie!

VOICE. Not from the shops, Mummy dear. You can get the real leaves from
Kaintu, and (laughing weakly) never mind about the blossoms--Dead white
silk is only fit for widows, and I won't wear it. It's as bad as a
winding sheet. (A long pause. )

Capt. G. I never asked a favor yet. If there is anybody to listen to me,
let her know me--even if I die too!

VOICE. (Very faintly. ) Pip, Pip dear.

Capt. G. I'm here, darling.

VOICE. What has happened? They've been bothering me so with medicines
and things, and they wouldn't let you come and see me. I was never ill
before. Am I ill now?

Capt. G. You--you aren't quite well.

VOICE. How funny! Have I been ill long?

Capt. G. Some days; but you'll be all right in a little time.

VOICE. Do you think so, Pip? I don't feel well and--Oh! what have they
done to my hair?

Capt. G. I d-d-on't know.

VOICE. They've cut it off. What a shame!

Capt. G. It must have been to make your head cooler.

VOICE. Just like a boy's wig. Don't I look horrid?

Capt. G. Never looked prettier in your life, dear. (Aside. ) How am I to
ask her to say goodbye?

VOICE. I don't feel pretty. I feel very ill. My heart won't work.
It's nearly dead inside me, and there's a funny feeling in my eyes.
Everything seems the same distance--you and the almirah and the table
inside my eyes or miles away. What does it mean, Pip?

Capt. G. You're a little feverish, Sweetheart--very feverish. (Breaking
down. ) My love! my love! How can I let you go?

VOICE. I thought so. Why didn't you tell me that at first?

Capt. G. What?

VOICE. That I am going to--die.

Capt. G. But you aren't! You sha'n't.

Ayah to punkah-coolie. (Stepping into veranda after a glance at the bed.
). Punkah chor do! (Stop pulling the punkah. )

VOICE. It's hard, Pip. So very, very hard after one year--just one
year. (Wailing. ) And I'm only twenty. Most girls aren't even married at
twenty. Can't they do anything to help me? I don't want to die.

Capt. G. Hush, dear. You won't.

VOICE. What's the use of talking? Help me! You've never failed me yet.
Oh, Phil, help me to keep alive. (Feverishly. ) I don't believe you wish
me to live. You weren't a bit sorry when that horrid Baby thing died. I
wish I'd killed it!

Capt. G. (Drawing his hand across his forehead. ) It's more than a man's
meant to bear--it's not right. (Aloud. ) Minnie, love, I'd die for you if
it would help.

VOICE. No more death. There's enough already. Pip, don't you die too.

Capt. G. I wish I dared.

VOICE. It says: "Till Death do us part. " Nothing after that--and so it
would be no use. It stops at the dying. Why does it stop there? Only
such a very short life, too. Pip, I'm sorry we married.

Capt. G. No! Anything but that, Min!

VOICE. Because you'll forget and I'll forget. Oh, Pip, don't forget! I
always loved you, though I was cross sometimes. If I ever did anything
that you didn't like, say you forgive me now.

Capt. G. You never did, darling. On my soul and honor you never did. I
haven't a thing to forgive you.

VOICE. I sulked for a whole week about those petunias. (With a laugh. )
What a little wretch I was, and how grieved you were! Forgive me that,
Pp.

Capt. G. There's nothing to forgive. It was my fault. They were too near
the drive. For God's sake don't talk so, Minnie! There's such a lot to
say and so little time to say it in.

VOICE. Say that you'll always love me--until the end.

Capt. G. Until the end. (Carried away. ) It's a lie. It must be, because
we've loved each other. This isn't the end.

VOICE. (Relapsing into semi-delirium. ) My Church-service has an ivory
cross on the back, and it says so, so it must be true. "Till Death do us
part. "--but that's a lie. (With a parody of G. 's manner. ) A damned lie!
(Recklessly. ) Yes, I can swear as well as a Trooper, Pip. I can't make
my head think, though. That's because they cut off my hair. How can one
think with one's head all fuzzy? (Pleadingly. ) Hold me, Pip! Keep me
with you always and always. (Relapsing. ) But if you marry the Thorniss
girl when I'm dead, I'll come back and howl under our bedroom window all
night. Oh, bother! You'll think I'm a jackal. Pip, what time is it?

Capt. G. A little before the dawn, dear.

VOICE. I wonder where I shall be this time tomorrow?

Capt. G. Would you like to see the Padre?

VOICE. Why should I? He'd tell me that I am going to heaven; and that
wouldn't be true, because you are here.
Do you recollect when he upset
the cream-ice all over his trousers at the Gassers' tennis?

Capt. G. Yes, dear.

VOICE. I often wondered whether he got another pair of trousers; but
then his are so shiny all over that you really couldn't tell unless you
were told. Let's call him in and ask.

Capt. G. (Gravely. ) No. I don't think he'd like that. Your head comfy,
Sweetheart?

VOICE. (Faintly with a sigh of contentment. ) Yeth! Gracious, Pip, when
did you shave last? Your chin's worse than the barrel of a musical
box. --No, don't lift it up. I like it. (A pause. ) You said you've never
cried at all. You're crying all over my cheek.

Capt. G. I-I-I can't help it, dear.

VOICE. How funny! I couldn't cry now to save my life. (G. shivers. ) I
want to sing.

Capt. G. Won't it tire you? 'Better not, perhaps.

VOICE. Why? I won't be bothered about. (Begins in a hoarse quaver)

"Minnie bakes oaten cake, Minnie brews ale,
All because her Johnnie's coming home from the sea. " (That's parade, Pip. )
"And she grows red as a rose, who was so pale;
And 'Are you sure the church-clock goes? ' says she. "

(Pettishly. ) I knew I couldn't take the last note. How do the bass
chords run? (Puts out her hands and begins playing piano on the sheet. )

Capt. G. (Catching up hands. ) Ahh! Don't do that, Pussy, if you love me.

VOICE. Love you? Of course I do. Who else should it be? (A pause. )

VOICE. (Very clearly. ) Pip, I'm going now. Something's choking me
cruelly. (Indistinctly. ) Into the dark--without you, my heart--But it's
a lie, dear--we mustn't believe it. --Forever and ever, living or dead.
Don't let me go, my husband--hold me tight. --They can't--whatever
happens. (A cough. ) Pip--my Pip! Not for always--and--so--soon! (Voice
ceases. )

Pause of ten minutes. G. buries his face in the side of the bed while
AYAH bends over bed from opposite side and feels Mrs. G. 's breast and
forehead.

Capt. G. (Rising. ) Doctor Sahib ko salaam do.

Ayah. (Still by bedside, with a shriek. ) Ail Ail Tuta-phuta! My
Memsahib! Not getting--not have got! --Pusseena agyal (The sweat has
come. ) (Fiercely to G. ) TUM jao Doctor Sahib ko jaldi! (You go to the
doctor. ) Oh, my Memsahib!

DOCTOR. (Entering hastily. ) Come away, Gadsby. (Bends over bed. ) Eh! The
Dev--What inspired you to stop the punkah? Get out, man--go away--wait
outside! Go! Here, Ayah! (Over his shoulder to G. ) Mind I promise
nothing.

The dawn breaks as G. stumbles into the garden.

Capt. M. (Rehung up at the gate on his way to parade and very soberly. )
Old man, how goes?

Capt. G. (Dazed. ) I don't quite know. Stay a bit. Have a drink or
something. Don't run away. You're just getting amusing. Ha! ha!

Capt. M. (Aside. ) What am I let in for? Gaddy has aged ten years in the
night.

Capt. G. (Slowly, fingering charger's headstall. ) Your curb's too loose.

Capt. M. So it is. Put it straight, will you? (Aside. ) I shall be late
for parade. Poor Gaddy.

Capt. G. links and unlinks curb-chain aimlessly, and finally stands
staring toward the veranda. The day brightens.

DOCTOR. (Knocked out of professional gravity, tramping across
flower-beds and shaking G's hands. ) It'-it's-it's! --Gadsby, there's
a fair chance--a dashed fair chance. The flicker, y'know. The sweat,
y'know I saw how it would be. The punkah, y'know. Deuced clever woman
that Ayah of yours. Stopped the punkah just at the right time. A dashed
good chance! No--you don't go in. We'll pull her through yet I promise
on my reputation--under Providence. Send a man with this note to Bingle.
Two heads better than one. 'Specially the Ayah! We'll pull her round.
(Retreats hastily to house. )

Capt. G. (His head on neck of M. 's charger. ) Jack! I bub-bu-believe, I'm
going to make a bu-bub-bloody exhibitiod of byself.

Capt. M. (Sniffing openly and feeling in his left cuff. ) I b-b-believe,
I'b doing it already. Old bad, what cad I say? I'b as pleased as--Cod
dab you, Gaddy! You're one big idiot and I'b adother. (Pulling himself
together. ) Sit tight! Here comes the Devil-dodger.

JUNIOR CHAPLAIN. (Who is not in the Doctor's confidence. ) We--we are
only men in these things, Gadsby. I know that I can say nothing now to
help.

Capt. M. (jealously. ) Then don't say it Leave him alone. It's not bad
enough to croak over. Here, Gaddy, take the chit to Bingle and ride
hell-for-leather. It'll do you good. I can't go.

JUNIOR CHAPLAIN. Do him good! (Smiling. ) Give me the chit and I'll
drive. Let him lie down. Your horse is blocking my cart--please!

Capt. M. (Slowly without reining back. ) I beg your pardon--I'll
apologize. On paper if you like.

JUNIOR CHAPLAIN. (Flicking M. 's charger. ) That'll do, thanks. Turn in,
Gadsby, and I'll bring Bingle back--ahem--"hell-for-leather. "

Capt. M. (Solus. ) It would have served me right if he'd cut me across
the face.