We have made a dog of Rook, and nam'd him plainly, in our Ob- servators, Views, Re-views, Mercuries, and all the rest
of our scandalous club ; we have done it more since his taking of Gibraltar than before, lest he shou'd get any reputation by and so get above our malice, as another
seems to have done.
of our scandalous club ; we have done it more since his taking of Gibraltar than before, lest he shou'd get any reputation by and so get above our malice, as another
seems to have done.
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
which you will see in the forefaid Gazette, the conster
nation had been so great, and no body to have headed the church party and the whole town in sire about their ears, at. the fame time; that we might, without any oppofition or blood-Jhed have seized the government.
And then have strong party here, back'd with our al lies in Holland, then in war with England; what cou'd
have withstood us Then had our puss been set upi and establis/od, all at once. And had not this been with
insinitely less and destruction W the nation, than
it
a ? ;
if
of
II
!
It
it
a
:
in.
Tie REHEARSAL:
37 «ost us to set her up against King Charles I. who wou'd
not suffer us to Ao it quietly ; ana so was the cause of all
the blood and deflation that sollow'd ! And if our defign-, so well laid, had taken effect in the other parts of it, ar well as in that of burning the city, the nation had been freed from all those plots and conspiracies with which we nave vex'd it ever since, and ever must, 'till we get in to the faddle again. We had then extirpated the whole race of the Stuarts, as we resolvd at. the Rye-house, if that. had succeeded. And as. we still resolve, and are not
afraid to publish this (ame. year in prints in Faction Display 'd, Part second, wherein we
slpplaud the jusl and more approiid defign,
Of quite exploding that
Line.
Which if we had done at thefire of London, there had1
detested
been no revolution in 1688, nor any wars succeeding upon that, which has cost the nation so much //Wand
All this had been fav'd. And wou'd not the sre os London have been cheap bargain for all this
struction of the church; who would never set fire on
their own temples. The papists had no foreign power ready to have fav'd their small numbers in England from an univerfal massacre, the least umbrage of this had appear against them. If the like had appear against them, as was provd upon our martyrs, and consess'd by them, we had been upon the bones of every one of them in the nation. The sword ofjustice sh'ou'd have had no trouble with them. And no papist after that, wou'd ever have been permitted, our laws, to live in Eng land. Therefore since all the probability and proof lies
against us, think we had best leave off charging o-- thers with and e'en suppose was done by chance.
O. Chance/ how can that be When was detected, • prov'J, and confess'd four months before, and the very
day nam'd on which was done.
C. Then we have rais'd a devil I'm afraid will pass
«ur sitill to lay. Of which at another opportunity. . ,
treasure.
C. It plain that no other interest but ours cou'd be serv'd the burning of London. was to the de
From
. "
*
it
it
if a
?
W, I ,
'd
by is
it
It 'd
by
?
it,
,
38
The
REHEARSAL;
From &flt. Sept. 9, to &at. Sept. 16, 1704. N°
The Observator's treatment of two great- Persons. And bis
Of tie Thanksgiving Day. Cathedral Service. arraigning of the Government.
OÆ. TT THERE wast thou, country -man,
on Thursday ?
YV
Coun. What ? the Thanksgiving-Day ?
O. Ay, ay, the Scw-day ! Did'st thou see it ?
sennight, the 7th of this instant
Twas ' a. sad day for us, to see the queen and the court ride so
triumphantly to Poults (our old stable) for a church vic tory. We had no such superstitious doings in the last reign. Our glorious K. William never set his foot with
in that cathedral as they call it. He had a chapel of his own. Why such respect to cathedrals ! 'tis a popish invention. Old picked beard us'd to ride after this man ner, to this fame Pouts, to give thanks on solemn occa sions, as for the birth of his son Pius, &c And why to
Pouss ? because, forsooth, there is the bishop his cathe dral or throne: And they come thither to pay their ho mage to him, as the head and centre of unity in his own
And therefore his throne is set highest above them all. Even above my Lord Mayor. Is not all this •
rank popery ?
C. Rank! rank! master. Therefore in our reforma-
tion we turn'd 'em all out of that fame Pouss, their bi
shops and king, and aU together. And gave it to our horses. It made a brave large stable for our red-coat-
saints. And we hope to see it so again. We de/Pd their high-places for 'em, their house of Baal, and made
it a draught-house, O that we cou'd fay, even unto this day ! But it is a coming again. And' not far off, master. ^ For is it not an high-church ? and we have sworn to pull down the high-church. And have got the low-church on our-Æde ; who will let us tread upon them, / like seas
folding,
Diocese.
.
The REHEARSAL.
29
folding, to climb up to the top of the high-church, and ride upon the ridge of it. Then, Hey boys, up go wt — O. But did'st thou go into Paul's on the thanisgiving-
day, and hear the sermon ?
C. I wou'd have been content to have heard the ser
mon. O, I love sermons fiom morning to night. But I hate them prayers. And their vile finging.
O. Vile finging, do'st fay ? why they fing with great art, and have the best masters.
C. Ay, that's it. We allow of finging , but are only against finging well. For that is not spiritual, can the spirit be taught by art? art is human invention.
O. And are not the tunes of our finging psalms of hu man invention, and to be learn'd by art ?
C. But they are hot so mufical as the cathedral finging. And so have less of art. And you know, the
less of art in spiritual matters, the better. I cannot un derstand these cathedral tunes. And we are com manded to fing with understanding, as well as pray with iU
0. But they understand their own singing. And seme of us don't understand ours. How oft have you heard uS out of tune, and creaking like cart-wheels ?
C. But finging with understanding, is not so much un
derstanding
the tune (tho' without that there will be
wretched finging) as that we understand the sense of
what we fing. And consequently1 that our psalms be in
0. So far, so good. Thou'rt in the right, country man. This is directly against the papishes praying in. an unknown tongue. For that cannot be with understand
a language we understand.
But remember, country-man, that thou must pros
ing.
With the spirit, as well as with understanding.
C. Pray, master, what is that praying with the spirit?
0. That is, extempore, for yor«! i of prayer do ,/? z*/ the
spirit.
C. That is, the spirit of invention. But is there not
a jjtfrir of devotion that may go along with set-forms, as
4n . repeating the Lvrtss-prayer, &c ? And invention do's disturb
4<t
TKe REHEARSAL,
disturb devotion. Therefore better lay aside inventtojt 5ik the time of prayer.
O. Country-man, thou warfjl at every turn. I'm a- fraid of thee.
C. Are we not to fing with the spirit, as well as fray with the spirit ? are they not both in the fame text? i Cor. xiv. 15. Then if by spirit be meant ex-
tempore, we must fing extempore psalms, and to ex
tempore
spirit of devotion which is here meant, and not the spirit
tunes. Therefore I'm afraid, that it is the
of extempore effufions, or ready invention, and turning of words, which is gain'd by art and custom, as we fee
even in school-boys. And that forms of prayer are no more an hindrance to devotion, than a form of psalms, and set tunes. But rather a great furtherance and
to devotion, in easing thespeaker from the labour of /»- vent ion, and the hearers of expe ctance and curiofity of" what comes next which is a. set-form to without the security of proper matter and words. So that all the fÆe/Vf left to hearers of any fort, is only this, whe-- ther they wou'd have a. form offound words, which
they know beforehand to be such, as The Lord" s-praya\ &c. or a as to them, whatever it be in the speaker, wherein there is great hazard, and frequent experience,
fact
O. Here's my country-man turn'd an errant churchman upon my hands ! and now he wou'd teach' me ! Come, since thou'rt grown book-learn'd, what think'st thou of that Teddum they fing at. thanksgivings ? Is'nt that popery ? that ever. I shou'd see my Queen go to
PouVs, to sing Tediums !
C. Master, thou'rt a dunce. It is Te D'eum. A very. ,
of both words and matter very undigested, unseemly, and even unsound? That is, whether they wou'd have a goad form, or a badonsi since form it must'be. As, whe
ther they shou'd fing well, or ill will have.
?
finging they,
good -hymn in English, tho' it be popery in Latin.
O. Nay, if we're come to Latin too — I'll tell theefl
we call'd it Teddum at the private academy, where I was Jbalf-bred SX Stepney,, . ' . Jl^i-
high-
The REHEARSAL.
4* "Besides, this going to PouPs is call'd a procestion.
"Which is a plain popish word ; and carefully avoided by all us faints. It is the very mark of the beast, O popery. ' popery! we may see whither we are a going.
Didst thou never hear of the
? care not what are. But I'll tell thee
C. I
I din'd that
thanksgiving. I got in at t>r—rs Hall. And there
day.
I lik'd that the best
part
of the . I
popish-procestions
they where
met with a great disappointment. For I expected, after dinner, the healths usual on these As
first I
and then my Lord Duke of Marlborough, again and a- gain, then Sir George Rook, with their further good suc
wou'd be the Queens, the thought then Prince,
cess, by land and sea, Sec. till I should have got my
Jkinfull of good claret,
better than the October at which
great solemnities.
tIhou and I us'd to swill. But master, dee'l a bit cou'd
one There was not one of their healths, nor
get drop.
any notice taken at all of the victory. Was not that
strange ? mnster.
O. No. Not at all. Thou know'st we have many
friends in that company. And it was so with several others. Do'st think we're mad? to be sounding out the praises of a church-man, except a little for popularity,
when we cannot help it. Many of the chief of our nvhigs had no illuminations that night.
C. Ay, master, and he's a high-church-man too. Is'nt his name Church-hill t And is'nt a church upon a hill a high-church ?
O. I have been upon the bones ofsome-body, and his wise too, as well as Sir George Rook, and all the rest of the church ministry, ever since this reign.
C. That thou hast, master, and bravely, even since their late victories both by land and sea.
We have made a dog of Rook, and nam'd him plainly, in our Ob- servators, Views, Re-views, Mercuries, and all the rest
of our scandalous club ; we have done it more since his taking of Gibraltar than before, lest he shou'd get any reputation by and so get above our malice, as another
seems to have done. But he's mistaken he think so. For
if
it,
4a The REHEARS At. .
For tho' we cannot name him downright, at present ; yet^ we can point — and our friends know what we mean. Thou told'st us a pretty slory, in thy ObJ'ervator of last Sept. 2. The day of the fire of London. I'll rehearse
some of it. . Thus faid'st thou I me Some are so has
dare
tily and highly promoted, that assure thee rather
of their fall than of their lives, and firm standing. We have already seen many, at whose promotion we wonder'd,- and as much marvelled at their sudden fall. We have
seen Cincius Fulvius in one year made consul, his children tribunes, his wife matron to the virgins, and alfa, keepress of the Capitol ; and after that, not in one year i but the fame day, we have seen Cincius. beheaded in the
place, his children drowned in the Tyber, his wife ba nish' his house rased to the ground, and alihis goods conr
takes but one fingle person into hit bosom
he takes a large family into his court
of a prince that goes in leading-strings
of a crafty knave, deserves no better title than a tool, in government. He's a meer trisle, a gew-gaw, H.
pageant sovereignty -^-He's a prince in a nursery, and
tnust demean himself according to the prescription his keeper. And to conclude the character of the favourite you mean, you turn him to woman, and call him ve- nefica a witch. And then pass sentence of depofition upon the prince for employing of such- And call him
that honest trusselol Canterbury who. virTUTE OFFICII,
pronomcedsentence
depofition against him, H. John, for his. - favou-.
to :
fiscate to the common treasury. And all this, mafi. cr, the* faid'st since the great news of the viStory,
But before vissfine clad*itictof,,3,%f\ riding in triumph- only over his queen. Cincius w'as then no soldier at all. And thou faid'st last January, Vol. II. N. 82. Since those times we have seen honour and wealth conferred on soldiers and no soldiers; and such as have done the least service the common-wealth, have reaped the greatest advantage-
from the publick. And, as said before, no men are more
dangerous to a state, than favourite men mate a monopoly royal favour
war — who-
A prince doing that, The great boy
but
under the guidance
of
of
of
aI
;
of
of by
. •
it
s,;
'd,
THe REHEARSAL.
4^
favourites-. And speak particularly of those whom the
prince raises from a meanfortune. This is thy grievance. And thou know'st some or other in England, who, by
i/irtue of their office, may depose the King , for having such a favourite. And call'st him an honest sellow, who for this fhou'd depose his King.
Rare doctrine
themfelves, except they please thee and me, master !
! Let look to
master. favourites
Ay,
and their master too. We'll serve 'em all alike !
O, 'tis
a brave thing, to be pulling down, andsetting up Kings !
To make them and their favourites tremble under us ! But I've heard fay, master, That it was never known In the world, that no history can give an instance, where
fauch a saucy varies as my master was sufFer'd to arraign the government, to lampoon, bespatter and. abuse the whole ministry; with threats of deposttion even to the
crown. And that publickly and in print, to go out twici
a aveek as news; wherein the parliament, council, bi shops, judges, and all inserior officers, with generals, ad mirals, Sec. are put into your list of knaves. And that
while you are under the prosecution of the lavj, for writ
ing these fame Observators. But you still write on, en-
crease in your insolence, and fay, that none dare toucli
you
Will this be belicv'd in other countries, or in after-
!
eges ! what a notion will it give them of our constitution ! which cannot afford proteclion to the government from
die meanest scoundrel I while he sets up his liberty and property, to attack the government, and all that are in potoer, openly, and above board ! and can carry it oft,
The following Advertisement was sent to me by penny - post. From whom I know not. Put it in, master, and
we'll talk more of this another time.
'pHERE will— be a book, which shortly publish'd may
be intitled Traps for Vermin in the State : Be ing a discourse on slander and sedition, suggesting fair and proper remedies against the present prevailing di stemper of the government, by the pernicious licence
withflyingcolours t
The REHEARSAL'
of;calumnies, libels, and the like malicious
contriv'd and propagated by guilty and ambitious knaves, to deceive and impose on the credulity of in nocent and easy fools, publish'd and spread by such- im
plements of iniquity, z%Obsewators, and other the like scurrilous and Grub-fireet writers, who by venomous
pamphlets insect the unwary people, audaciously attack ing the government in every part of the administra-> tion, defaming ministers and officers in highest trust la
the state, army, navy, £sfc. on which argument it will be shewn out of history, and from our own and others the best authorities, the mischiess incident to the pub- lick, by not timely animadverting on such ofsences. Reserence also will be had to such laws as the Romans and other wise and polite nations provided against such- offenders, according to the nature and' quality of the crime and the criminal, punishing by death, banishment, sine, imprisonment, mutilation, stigmatizing, &c. To,
which will be added a moral admonition to those whom- it may concern (leaving it to their consciences respec
tively to reflect at whose door the guilt will chiefly lie, if by their cowardice or connivance, cif c. the laws being struck dumb, and the executive power thereby made impotent, whereby such wretches act their villanies with impunity) if persons of honour and spirit shall by such fatal neglect become driven (as the last remedy) to carve out their own justice, and redress themselves oa such barking mungrels who are suborn'd and kept in pay to worry their reputation in so vile a manner. The conclusion of which discourse shall contain the character of a state hypocrite, wherein such men must be content to sit for their pictures, who shall be found at any time- in any government under the mask of patriots, to cover most guilty projects against the peace and stability of the
4*
forgeries
their methods, aims, and ends; With an Ephemeris or prognostick of the several kinds
©f weather in the state, which such practices may pro duce respectively. To be sold by the booksellers of London and Wejlminster.
government, explaining
The REHEARSAL:
From &at. Sept. 16 to J&at. Sept. 23, 1 704. N° 8.
The Observator's present treatment of the lord duke os'Marl- borough. Os Sir George Rook. And os the lord high admiral, the design os deflraying the credit os the London Gazette, and all papers publish'd by authority.
\J
Coun. /^\ Thou dog in a doublet ! my oaken-towel itches
to be at thee. I shall not leave a whole bone in thy/kin, ifthou acquit not thy self to my fatisfaction.
O. Dear country-man be patient. Thou frights me out of my little units. Thou look'st as fierce as an
lion. What is the matter ?
C. Matter! is the devil in thee ? Thou'It make us odi ous and detested to all the nation. Can'st thou not leave
off abufing the duke of Marlborough in every one of thy Observators, since his late glorious victory f Have I not told thee of this over and over ? and all cannot cure thy rancor.
0. Why ! hast not thou rancor as well as me ?
C. Rancor! I cou'd eat him without/s//. And so wou'd we all. But I am not such an errant dunce, a booby,
a bays, to spoil all my own plots, and let every body know what we mean.
In thine of last Aug. 23. Vol. 3. No. 44. thou mad'st both him and his dutches to be Jacohites, that that we thought them so. Which (fay you) lessen them both in the esteem many honest people. Meaning our selves. And
giv'st this as an excuse for all the vile things thou had'st laid of them both before. An excuse Quotha! Was this an excuse Why, was ten times worse than all thou had'st spew'd out against them before. The devil has
scoop out thy brains, and ■ in thy skull.
O. did it, that others might think them so. And was not that the efsectual way to ruin them For yop.
know, that to be suspected and guilty much the /ame
thing with mob. And. Reputation Hastest, not fd . easily
is
? is
d
is,
Id
?
of it
46
The
REHEARS AX.
easily fodder' d again. And it might serve us another day,
that it had been once said, and in print too. Besides, do
but observe my cunning ! Ij>ut the proas' upon the Jact- . hins, and' fay',' that they faid lo. " AnI ffereidre, that w* did believe it.
C. Thy cunning ! it was perlaus indeed ! Should we believe because the Jacohites said so? If they had thought so, they would not have told- thee. But didst thou ever hear any of them say Do'st thou converse with them
O. No, hang them they won't converse with me. But have thee for my evidence, will iegf, that thou hast heard themfay so.
C. Then thou'lt tell a dainn'd lie. Tor never heard ■one of them fay so in my lise, or any thing like it.
O. What signisies that? Can'st thou not fay that thou •did'st hear them fay so How wouM'st thou venture thy
neck for the cause, when thou grudgest the labour ofspeak ing three words
C. sind our cause cannot be serv'd, while we have one grain of conscience or common hones left behind.
But we should have little policy, not to let our
to all the world. That ■which has enragd me, to see thee and the rest of our
godly, shew their resentments when they should have con cealed them. What needed that over-tenderness of confei- ,ence, or over-running of the spleen, that in our publick halls (as told thee in my last) upon the day of thanks giving for the victory of the duke of Marlborough, we shou'd rather drop the queens health (which part of
thesolemnity at such times) than be oblig'd to drink that of the duke of Marlborough, which must have follow'd, and Sir George Rook too, with wishing farther success to their arms, &c.
O. They did not well. What do'st think we have no conscience, to offer even wet-prayer for what we ab hor, and dread above all things in the world Success to
them ruin to our cause. And the spirits of our friends are to be kept up, by as publick notices as we can give
knavery appear bare-sac'
is 3
I I
I
?
?
is a
a
!
I I
so i
i
da
y
?
? !
it is
it,
The REHEARSAL.
47
them, not to run in to the rejoicings for church-victories. Therefore it was, that many of us had no Lights in their windows that night. Nor since, upon the victory of Sir George Rook at sea. And while their successes were
founded from the fewer by their cannon, and from all the bells in the town, we lat and dumpish to let the sober ^arty know, that these were no •victories for us ! And to call them togroaning andgrunting in the inward, that the
r£«r£v& ministry, under an episcopal queen, was like to carry all before them.
Pursuant to this, we take all occasions to shew dis-re- spc8 to the duke of Marlborough, and to lessen the fame of
his -victories.
C. How can you do that? What a pox, you cannot
deny the victories.
O. No. But we can transfer them in great part to
ttbers. And you know that takes so much from him. Didn'stthou take notice what I faid in my Observator of last Saturday, Sept. 1 6. when I told thee, that we must not hearken to the acclamations of a party ; that when brave actions are magnify 'd to such a degree, they are lessen d in the eyes of understanding men. It's a strange cafe, that where so many brave men were engag'd, that the whole success stmid be attributed to one person. Those that know the ac- tounts of that fight, otherwise than by the publick prints,
honour ofthe victory.
C. And do'st thou think this will bringthee off? Here
thou mak'st a full discovery. That we are not the party which magnisy the duke of Marlborough, but endeavour to hfsen him. In the next place, thou giv'st to understand, as if we had some secret accounts of that fight, less to the duke's honour, than what is given in the publick accounts.
And we know how far that innuendo will go.
O. How far?
C. Thou hast explain'd master, in thy last Obferva-
tor of Sept. 20th to help those who may be dull as not to apprehend it. Where thou put'st the case thus, Am bound to believt dl the newt that publish authority
And
willtellyou, that prince Eugene had a goodshare of the
it, is
'd by
so
? 1
#8
The REHEARS A12
And resolv'st in the pretty story thou tell'st of Sir WlU . liam umcr, that we are not to believe the kings Gazette,
tho\ as thou fay'st simply, it readseveral times in coun cil before printed. And thou giv'st reason why we should not believe a paper, that has such authority, and the royal imprimatur because, fay'st thou, we
how much a party there in must confider . we make the these relations. So that
government party (only) against us. And then thou know'st, we are a party against the government.
And which will prevail, now the question. Towards which there one thing we have too long forgot. And now teel the smart of it. That is, having suffer'd the
London Gazettes and other papers publish'd by authority, to retain any credit amongst the people. For these, their victories are proclaim and we have not the full berty to fay and turn things as we please. Therefore
neceflary that this fort of the enemies be attach, ob structs our lines of communication. Therefore rejoice to see the trenches open'd, and our batteries begin to play concert. The very day before thy last Observator came out, that is, on Tuesday the 9th of this September, our Review, Num. 57. gave the sirst on-set, to prepare the way for thee, who was to march up with the main body the
next day, and give the general assault. The Review begins his attack with long Canterbury story of mayor, who
having provided splendid entertainment for the late thanksgiving-day, with two hogsheads ofstrong beer for the soldiers, for which he quotes the London Gazette; and adds
(whether true orfalse know not) that the mayor dy'd the
day before the thanksgiving. Then how could he treat,
or give the beer Yet they might cat and drink tho' he
were dead. And he provided for them, was his
treat still. Master, this very fimple story.
nation had been so great, and no body to have headed the church party and the whole town in sire about their ears, at. the fame time; that we might, without any oppofition or blood-Jhed have seized the government.
And then have strong party here, back'd with our al lies in Holland, then in war with England; what cou'd
have withstood us Then had our puss been set upi and establis/od, all at once. And had not this been with
insinitely less and destruction W the nation, than
it
a ? ;
if
of
II
!
It
it
a
:
in.
Tie REHEARSAL:
37 «ost us to set her up against King Charles I. who wou'd
not suffer us to Ao it quietly ; ana so was the cause of all
the blood and deflation that sollow'd ! And if our defign-, so well laid, had taken effect in the other parts of it, ar well as in that of burning the city, the nation had been freed from all those plots and conspiracies with which we nave vex'd it ever since, and ever must, 'till we get in to the faddle again. We had then extirpated the whole race of the Stuarts, as we resolvd at. the Rye-house, if that. had succeeded. And as. we still resolve, and are not
afraid to publish this (ame. year in prints in Faction Display 'd, Part second, wherein we
slpplaud the jusl and more approiid defign,
Of quite exploding that
Line.
Which if we had done at thefire of London, there had1
detested
been no revolution in 1688, nor any wars succeeding upon that, which has cost the nation so much //Wand
All this had been fav'd. And wou'd not the sre os London have been cheap bargain for all this
struction of the church; who would never set fire on
their own temples. The papists had no foreign power ready to have fav'd their small numbers in England from an univerfal massacre, the least umbrage of this had appear against them. If the like had appear against them, as was provd upon our martyrs, and consess'd by them, we had been upon the bones of every one of them in the nation. The sword ofjustice sh'ou'd have had no trouble with them. And no papist after that, wou'd ever have been permitted, our laws, to live in Eng land. Therefore since all the probability and proof lies
against us, think we had best leave off charging o-- thers with and e'en suppose was done by chance.
O. Chance/ how can that be When was detected, • prov'J, and confess'd four months before, and the very
day nam'd on which was done.
C. Then we have rais'd a devil I'm afraid will pass
«ur sitill to lay. Of which at another opportunity. . ,
treasure.
C. It plain that no other interest but ours cou'd be serv'd the burning of London. was to the de
From
. "
*
it
it
if a
?
W, I ,
'd
by is
it
It 'd
by
?
it,
,
38
The
REHEARSAL;
From &flt. Sept. 9, to &at. Sept. 16, 1704. N°
The Observator's treatment of two great- Persons. And bis
Of tie Thanksgiving Day. Cathedral Service. arraigning of the Government.
OÆ. TT THERE wast thou, country -man,
on Thursday ?
YV
Coun. What ? the Thanksgiving-Day ?
O. Ay, ay, the Scw-day ! Did'st thou see it ?
sennight, the 7th of this instant
Twas ' a. sad day for us, to see the queen and the court ride so
triumphantly to Poults (our old stable) for a church vic tory. We had no such superstitious doings in the last reign. Our glorious K. William never set his foot with
in that cathedral as they call it. He had a chapel of his own. Why such respect to cathedrals ! 'tis a popish invention. Old picked beard us'd to ride after this man ner, to this fame Pouts, to give thanks on solemn occa sions, as for the birth of his son Pius, &c And why to
Pouss ? because, forsooth, there is the bishop his cathe dral or throne: And they come thither to pay their ho mage to him, as the head and centre of unity in his own
And therefore his throne is set highest above them all. Even above my Lord Mayor. Is not all this •
rank popery ?
C. Rank! rank! master. Therefore in our reforma-
tion we turn'd 'em all out of that fame Pouss, their bi
shops and king, and aU together. And gave it to our horses. It made a brave large stable for our red-coat-
saints. And we hope to see it so again. We de/Pd their high-places for 'em, their house of Baal, and made
it a draught-house, O that we cou'd fay, even unto this day ! But it is a coming again. And' not far off, master. ^ For is it not an high-church ? and we have sworn to pull down the high-church. And have got the low-church on our-Æde ; who will let us tread upon them, / like seas
folding,
Diocese.
.
The REHEARSAL.
29
folding, to climb up to the top of the high-church, and ride upon the ridge of it. Then, Hey boys, up go wt — O. But did'st thou go into Paul's on the thanisgiving-
day, and hear the sermon ?
C. I wou'd have been content to have heard the ser
mon. O, I love sermons fiom morning to night. But I hate them prayers. And their vile finging.
O. Vile finging, do'st fay ? why they fing with great art, and have the best masters.
C. Ay, that's it. We allow of finging , but are only against finging well. For that is not spiritual, can the spirit be taught by art? art is human invention.
O. And are not the tunes of our finging psalms of hu man invention, and to be learn'd by art ?
C. But they are hot so mufical as the cathedral finging. And so have less of art. And you know, the
less of art in spiritual matters, the better. I cannot un derstand these cathedral tunes. And we are com manded to fing with understanding, as well as pray with iU
0. But they understand their own singing. And seme of us don't understand ours. How oft have you heard uS out of tune, and creaking like cart-wheels ?
C. But finging with understanding, is not so much un
derstanding
the tune (tho' without that there will be
wretched finging) as that we understand the sense of
what we fing. And consequently1 that our psalms be in
0. So far, so good. Thou'rt in the right, country man. This is directly against the papishes praying in. an unknown tongue. For that cannot be with understand
a language we understand.
But remember, country-man, that thou must pros
ing.
With the spirit, as well as with understanding.
C. Pray, master, what is that praying with the spirit?
0. That is, extempore, for yor«! i of prayer do ,/? z*/ the
spirit.
C. That is, the spirit of invention. But is there not
a jjtfrir of devotion that may go along with set-forms, as
4n . repeating the Lvrtss-prayer, &c ? And invention do's disturb
4<t
TKe REHEARSAL,
disturb devotion. Therefore better lay aside inventtojt 5ik the time of prayer.
O. Country-man, thou warfjl at every turn. I'm a- fraid of thee.
C. Are we not to fing with the spirit, as well as fray with the spirit ? are they not both in the fame text? i Cor. xiv. 15. Then if by spirit be meant ex-
tempore, we must fing extempore psalms, and to ex
tempore
spirit of devotion which is here meant, and not the spirit
tunes. Therefore I'm afraid, that it is the
of extempore effufions, or ready invention, and turning of words, which is gain'd by art and custom, as we fee
even in school-boys. And that forms of prayer are no more an hindrance to devotion, than a form of psalms, and set tunes. But rather a great furtherance and
to devotion, in easing thespeaker from the labour of /»- vent ion, and the hearers of expe ctance and curiofity of" what comes next which is a. set-form to without the security of proper matter and words. So that all the fÆe/Vf left to hearers of any fort, is only this, whe-- ther they wou'd have a. form offound words, which
they know beforehand to be such, as The Lord" s-praya\ &c. or a as to them, whatever it be in the speaker, wherein there is great hazard, and frequent experience,
fact
O. Here's my country-man turn'd an errant churchman upon my hands ! and now he wou'd teach' me ! Come, since thou'rt grown book-learn'd, what think'st thou of that Teddum they fing at. thanksgivings ? Is'nt that popery ? that ever. I shou'd see my Queen go to
PouVs, to sing Tediums !
C. Master, thou'rt a dunce. It is Te D'eum. A very. ,
of both words and matter very undigested, unseemly, and even unsound? That is, whether they wou'd have a goad form, or a badonsi since form it must'be. As, whe
ther they shou'd fing well, or ill will have.
?
finging they,
good -hymn in English, tho' it be popery in Latin.
O. Nay, if we're come to Latin too — I'll tell theefl
we call'd it Teddum at the private academy, where I was Jbalf-bred SX Stepney,, . ' . Jl^i-
high-
The REHEARSAL.
4* "Besides, this going to PouPs is call'd a procestion.
"Which is a plain popish word ; and carefully avoided by all us faints. It is the very mark of the beast, O popery. ' popery! we may see whither we are a going.
Didst thou never hear of the
? care not what are. But I'll tell thee
C. I
I din'd that
thanksgiving. I got in at t>r—rs Hall. And there
day.
I lik'd that the best
part
of the . I
popish-procestions
they where
met with a great disappointment. For I expected, after dinner, the healths usual on these As
first I
and then my Lord Duke of Marlborough, again and a- gain, then Sir George Rook, with their further good suc
wou'd be the Queens, the thought then Prince,
cess, by land and sea, Sec. till I should have got my
Jkinfull of good claret,
better than the October at which
great solemnities.
tIhou and I us'd to swill. But master, dee'l a bit cou'd
one There was not one of their healths, nor
get drop.
any notice taken at all of the victory. Was not that
strange ? mnster.
O. No. Not at all. Thou know'st we have many
friends in that company. And it was so with several others. Do'st think we're mad? to be sounding out the praises of a church-man, except a little for popularity,
when we cannot help it. Many of the chief of our nvhigs had no illuminations that night.
C. Ay, master, and he's a high-church-man too. Is'nt his name Church-hill t And is'nt a church upon a hill a high-church ?
O. I have been upon the bones ofsome-body, and his wise too, as well as Sir George Rook, and all the rest of the church ministry, ever since this reign.
C. That thou hast, master, and bravely, even since their late victories both by land and sea.
We have made a dog of Rook, and nam'd him plainly, in our Ob- servators, Views, Re-views, Mercuries, and all the rest
of our scandalous club ; we have done it more since his taking of Gibraltar than before, lest he shou'd get any reputation by and so get above our malice, as another
seems to have done. But he's mistaken he think so. For
if
it,
4a The REHEARS At. .
For tho' we cannot name him downright, at present ; yet^ we can point — and our friends know what we mean. Thou told'st us a pretty slory, in thy ObJ'ervator of last Sept. 2. The day of the fire of London. I'll rehearse
some of it. . Thus faid'st thou I me Some are so has
dare
tily and highly promoted, that assure thee rather
of their fall than of their lives, and firm standing. We have already seen many, at whose promotion we wonder'd,- and as much marvelled at their sudden fall. We have
seen Cincius Fulvius in one year made consul, his children tribunes, his wife matron to the virgins, and alfa, keepress of the Capitol ; and after that, not in one year i but the fame day, we have seen Cincius. beheaded in the
place, his children drowned in the Tyber, his wife ba nish' his house rased to the ground, and alihis goods conr
takes but one fingle person into hit bosom
he takes a large family into his court
of a prince that goes in leading-strings
of a crafty knave, deserves no better title than a tool, in government. He's a meer trisle, a gew-gaw, H.
pageant sovereignty -^-He's a prince in a nursery, and
tnust demean himself according to the prescription his keeper. And to conclude the character of the favourite you mean, you turn him to woman, and call him ve- nefica a witch. And then pass sentence of depofition upon the prince for employing of such- And call him
that honest trusselol Canterbury who. virTUTE OFFICII,
pronomcedsentence
depofition against him, H. John, for his. - favou-.
to :
fiscate to the common treasury. And all this, mafi. cr, the* faid'st since the great news of the viStory,
But before vissfine clad*itictof,,3,%f\ riding in triumph- only over his queen. Cincius w'as then no soldier at all. And thou faid'st last January, Vol. II. N. 82. Since those times we have seen honour and wealth conferred on soldiers and no soldiers; and such as have done the least service the common-wealth, have reaped the greatest advantage-
from the publick. And, as said before, no men are more
dangerous to a state, than favourite men mate a monopoly royal favour
war — who-
A prince doing that, The great boy
but
under the guidance
of
of
of
aI
;
of
of by
. •
it
s,;
'd,
THe REHEARSAL.
4^
favourites-. And speak particularly of those whom the
prince raises from a meanfortune. This is thy grievance. And thou know'st some or other in England, who, by
i/irtue of their office, may depose the King , for having such a favourite. And call'st him an honest sellow, who for this fhou'd depose his King.
Rare doctrine
themfelves, except they please thee and me, master !
! Let look to
master. favourites
Ay,
and their master too. We'll serve 'em all alike !
O, 'tis
a brave thing, to be pulling down, andsetting up Kings !
To make them and their favourites tremble under us ! But I've heard fay, master, That it was never known In the world, that no history can give an instance, where
fauch a saucy varies as my master was sufFer'd to arraign the government, to lampoon, bespatter and. abuse the whole ministry; with threats of deposttion even to the
crown. And that publickly and in print, to go out twici
a aveek as news; wherein the parliament, council, bi shops, judges, and all inserior officers, with generals, ad mirals, Sec. are put into your list of knaves. And that
while you are under the prosecution of the lavj, for writ
ing these fame Observators. But you still write on, en-
crease in your insolence, and fay, that none dare toucli
you
Will this be belicv'd in other countries, or in after-
!
eges ! what a notion will it give them of our constitution ! which cannot afford proteclion to the government from
die meanest scoundrel I while he sets up his liberty and property, to attack the government, and all that are in potoer, openly, and above board ! and can carry it oft,
The following Advertisement was sent to me by penny - post. From whom I know not. Put it in, master, and
we'll talk more of this another time.
'pHERE will— be a book, which shortly publish'd may
be intitled Traps for Vermin in the State : Be ing a discourse on slander and sedition, suggesting fair and proper remedies against the present prevailing di stemper of the government, by the pernicious licence
withflyingcolours t
The REHEARSAL'
of;calumnies, libels, and the like malicious
contriv'd and propagated by guilty and ambitious knaves, to deceive and impose on the credulity of in nocent and easy fools, publish'd and spread by such- im
plements of iniquity, z%Obsewators, and other the like scurrilous and Grub-fireet writers, who by venomous
pamphlets insect the unwary people, audaciously attack ing the government in every part of the administra-> tion, defaming ministers and officers in highest trust la
the state, army, navy, £sfc. on which argument it will be shewn out of history, and from our own and others the best authorities, the mischiess incident to the pub- lick, by not timely animadverting on such ofsences. Reserence also will be had to such laws as the Romans and other wise and polite nations provided against such- offenders, according to the nature and' quality of the crime and the criminal, punishing by death, banishment, sine, imprisonment, mutilation, stigmatizing, &c. To,
which will be added a moral admonition to those whom- it may concern (leaving it to their consciences respec
tively to reflect at whose door the guilt will chiefly lie, if by their cowardice or connivance, cif c. the laws being struck dumb, and the executive power thereby made impotent, whereby such wretches act their villanies with impunity) if persons of honour and spirit shall by such fatal neglect become driven (as the last remedy) to carve out their own justice, and redress themselves oa such barking mungrels who are suborn'd and kept in pay to worry their reputation in so vile a manner. The conclusion of which discourse shall contain the character of a state hypocrite, wherein such men must be content to sit for their pictures, who shall be found at any time- in any government under the mask of patriots, to cover most guilty projects against the peace and stability of the
4*
forgeries
their methods, aims, and ends; With an Ephemeris or prognostick of the several kinds
©f weather in the state, which such practices may pro duce respectively. To be sold by the booksellers of London and Wejlminster.
government, explaining
The REHEARSAL:
From &at. Sept. 16 to J&at. Sept. 23, 1 704. N° 8.
The Observator's present treatment of the lord duke os'Marl- borough. Os Sir George Rook. And os the lord high admiral, the design os deflraying the credit os the London Gazette, and all papers publish'd by authority.
\J
Coun. /^\ Thou dog in a doublet ! my oaken-towel itches
to be at thee. I shall not leave a whole bone in thy/kin, ifthou acquit not thy self to my fatisfaction.
O. Dear country-man be patient. Thou frights me out of my little units. Thou look'st as fierce as an
lion. What is the matter ?
C. Matter! is the devil in thee ? Thou'It make us odi ous and detested to all the nation. Can'st thou not leave
off abufing the duke of Marlborough in every one of thy Observators, since his late glorious victory f Have I not told thee of this over and over ? and all cannot cure thy rancor.
0. Why ! hast not thou rancor as well as me ?
C. Rancor! I cou'd eat him without/s//. And so wou'd we all. But I am not such an errant dunce, a booby,
a bays, to spoil all my own plots, and let every body know what we mean.
In thine of last Aug. 23. Vol. 3. No. 44. thou mad'st both him and his dutches to be Jacohites, that that we thought them so. Which (fay you) lessen them both in the esteem many honest people. Meaning our selves. And
giv'st this as an excuse for all the vile things thou had'st laid of them both before. An excuse Quotha! Was this an excuse Why, was ten times worse than all thou had'st spew'd out against them before. The devil has
scoop out thy brains, and ■ in thy skull.
O. did it, that others might think them so. And was not that the efsectual way to ruin them For yop.
know, that to be suspected and guilty much the /ame
thing with mob. And. Reputation Hastest, not fd . easily
is
? is
d
is,
Id
?
of it
46
The
REHEARS AX.
easily fodder' d again. And it might serve us another day,
that it had been once said, and in print too. Besides, do
but observe my cunning ! Ij>ut the proas' upon the Jact- . hins, and' fay',' that they faid lo. " AnI ffereidre, that w* did believe it.
C. Thy cunning ! it was perlaus indeed ! Should we believe because the Jacohites said so? If they had thought so, they would not have told- thee. But didst thou ever hear any of them say Do'st thou converse with them
O. No, hang them they won't converse with me. But have thee for my evidence, will iegf, that thou hast heard themfay so.
C. Then thou'lt tell a dainn'd lie. Tor never heard ■one of them fay so in my lise, or any thing like it.
O. What signisies that? Can'st thou not fay that thou •did'st hear them fay so How wouM'st thou venture thy
neck for the cause, when thou grudgest the labour ofspeak ing three words
C. sind our cause cannot be serv'd, while we have one grain of conscience or common hones left behind.
But we should have little policy, not to let our
to all the world. That ■which has enragd me, to see thee and the rest of our
godly, shew their resentments when they should have con cealed them. What needed that over-tenderness of confei- ,ence, or over-running of the spleen, that in our publick halls (as told thee in my last) upon the day of thanks giving for the victory of the duke of Marlborough, we shou'd rather drop the queens health (which part of
thesolemnity at such times) than be oblig'd to drink that of the duke of Marlborough, which must have follow'd, and Sir George Rook too, with wishing farther success to their arms, &c.
O. They did not well. What do'st think we have no conscience, to offer even wet-prayer for what we ab hor, and dread above all things in the world Success to
them ruin to our cause. And the spirits of our friends are to be kept up, by as publick notices as we can give
knavery appear bare-sac'
is 3
I I
I
?
?
is a
a
!
I I
so i
i
da
y
?
? !
it is
it,
The REHEARSAL.
47
them, not to run in to the rejoicings for church-victories. Therefore it was, that many of us had no Lights in their windows that night. Nor since, upon the victory of Sir George Rook at sea. And while their successes were
founded from the fewer by their cannon, and from all the bells in the town, we lat and dumpish to let the sober ^arty know, that these were no •victories for us ! And to call them togroaning andgrunting in the inward, that the
r£«r£v& ministry, under an episcopal queen, was like to carry all before them.
Pursuant to this, we take all occasions to shew dis-re- spc8 to the duke of Marlborough, and to lessen the fame of
his -victories.
C. How can you do that? What a pox, you cannot
deny the victories.
O. No. But we can transfer them in great part to
ttbers. And you know that takes so much from him. Didn'stthou take notice what I faid in my Observator of last Saturday, Sept. 1 6. when I told thee, that we must not hearken to the acclamations of a party ; that when brave actions are magnify 'd to such a degree, they are lessen d in the eyes of understanding men. It's a strange cafe, that where so many brave men were engag'd, that the whole success stmid be attributed to one person. Those that know the ac- tounts of that fight, otherwise than by the publick prints,
honour ofthe victory.
C. And do'st thou think this will bringthee off? Here
thou mak'st a full discovery. That we are not the party which magnisy the duke of Marlborough, but endeavour to hfsen him. In the next place, thou giv'st to understand, as if we had some secret accounts of that fight, less to the duke's honour, than what is given in the publick accounts.
And we know how far that innuendo will go.
O. How far?
C. Thou hast explain'd master, in thy last Obferva-
tor of Sept. 20th to help those who may be dull as not to apprehend it. Where thou put'st the case thus, Am bound to believt dl the newt that publish authority
And
willtellyou, that prince Eugene had a goodshare of the
it, is
'd by
so
? 1
#8
The REHEARS A12
And resolv'st in the pretty story thou tell'st of Sir WlU . liam umcr, that we are not to believe the kings Gazette,
tho\ as thou fay'st simply, it readseveral times in coun cil before printed. And thou giv'st reason why we should not believe a paper, that has such authority, and the royal imprimatur because, fay'st thou, we
how much a party there in must confider . we make the these relations. So that
government party (only) against us. And then thou know'st, we are a party against the government.
And which will prevail, now the question. Towards which there one thing we have too long forgot. And now teel the smart of it. That is, having suffer'd the
London Gazettes and other papers publish'd by authority, to retain any credit amongst the people. For these, their victories are proclaim and we have not the full berty to fay and turn things as we please. Therefore
neceflary that this fort of the enemies be attach, ob structs our lines of communication. Therefore rejoice to see the trenches open'd, and our batteries begin to play concert. The very day before thy last Observator came out, that is, on Tuesday the 9th of this September, our Review, Num. 57. gave the sirst on-set, to prepare the way for thee, who was to march up with the main body the
next day, and give the general assault. The Review begins his attack with long Canterbury story of mayor, who
having provided splendid entertainment for the late thanksgiving-day, with two hogsheads ofstrong beer for the soldiers, for which he quotes the London Gazette; and adds
(whether true orfalse know not) that the mayor dy'd the
day before the thanksgiving. Then how could he treat,
or give the beer Yet they might cat and drink tho' he
were dead. And he provided for them, was his
treat still. Master, this very fimple story.
