The music of a
marriage
procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
Warner - World's Best Literature - v15 - Kab to Les
It is I that bring gifts this time.
Look, my life, look! Was there ever such a babe ? Nay, I am
too weak even to clear my arm from him. ”
“Rest, then, and do not talk. I am here, bachheri” [little
woman).
« Well said; for there is a bond and a heel-rope (peecharee]
between us now that nothing can break. Look — canst thou see
in this light? He is without spot or blemish. Never was such
a man-child. Ya illah! he shall be a pundit- no, a trooper of
the Queen. And my life, dost thou love me as well as ever,
though I am faint and sick and worn ? Answer truly. ”
« Yea. I love as I have loved, with all my soul.
Lie still,
pearl, and rest. ”
« Then do not go. Sit by my side here — so. Mother, the
lord of this house needs a cushion. Bring it. ”
There was an
almost imperceptible movement on the part of the new life that
lay in the hollow of Ameera's arm. "Aho! ” she said, her voice
breaking with love. “The babe is a champion from his birth.
He is kicking me in the side with mighty kicks. Was there ever
such a babe ? And he is ours to us— -thine and mine. Put thy
hand on his head; but carefully, for he is very young, and men
are unskilled in such matters. ”
Very cautiously Holden touched with the tips of his fingers
the downy head.
"He is of the Faith,” said Ameera; for, lying here in the
night-watches, I whispered the Call to Prayer and the Profession
of Faith into his ears. And it is most marvelous that he was
born upon a Friday, as I was born. Be careful of him, my life;
but he can almost grip with his hands. ”
Holden found one helpless little hand that closed feebly on
h is finger. And the clutch ran through his limbs till it settled
a bout his heart. Till then his sole thought had been for Ameera.
He began to realize that there was some one else in the world,
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but he could not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. He
sat down to think, and Ameera dozed lightly.
“Get hence, sahib,” said her mother, under her breath. “It
is not good that she should find you here on waking. She must
be still. ”
“I go,” said Holden submissively. «Here be rupees.
See
that my baba gets fat and finds all that he needs. ”
The chink of the silver roused Ameera. “I am his mother,
and no hireling,” she said weakly. «Shall I look to him more or
less for the sake of money? Mother, give it back. I have borne
my lord a son. ”
The deep sleep of weakness came upon her almost before the
sentence was completed. Holden went down to the court-yard
very softly, with his heart at ease. Pir Khan, the old watchman,
was chuckling with delight.
« This house is now complete,” he said; and without fur-
ther comment thrust into Holden's hands the hilt of a sabre
worn many years ago, when Pir Khan served the Queen in the
police.
The bleat of a tethered goat came from the well-curb.
« There be two,” said Pir Khan — «two goats of the best. I
bought them, and they cost much money; and since there is no
birth-party assembled, their flesh will be all mine. Strike craft.
ily, sahib. 'Tis an ill-balanced sabre at the best. Wait till they
raise their heads from cropping the marigolds. ”
"And why? ” said Holden, bewildered.
“For the birth sacrifice. What else ? Otherwise the child,
being unguarded from fate, may die. The Protector of the Poor
knows the fitting words to be said. ”
Holden had learned them once, with little thought that he
would ever say them in earnest. The touch of the cold sabre
hilt in his palm turned suddenly to the clinging grip of the child
up-stairs, — the child that was his own son, — and a dread of loss
filled him.
« Strike! » said Pir Khan. "Never life came into the world
but life was paid for it. See, the goats have raised their heads.
Now! With a drawing cut! ”
Hardly knowing what he did, Holden cut twice as he mut-
tered the Mohammedan prayer that runs, “Almighty! In place
of this my son I offer life for life, blood for blood, head for
head, bone for bone, hair for hair, skin for skin. ” The waiting
f
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(
horse snorted and bounded in his pickets at the smell of the raw
blood that spurted over Holden's riding-boots.
“Well smitten! ” said Pir Khan, wiping the sabre. "A swords-
man was lost in thee. Go with a light heart, heaven-born. I
am thy servant, and the servant of thy son. May the Pres-
ence live a thousand years, and — the flesh of the goats is all
mine ? »
Pir Khan drew back richer by a month's pay.
Holden swung
himself into the saddle, and rode off through the low-hanging
wood smoke of the evening. He was full of riotous exultation,
alternating with a vast vague tenderness directed towards no
particular object, that made him choke as he bent over the neck
of his uneasy horse. “I never felt like this in my life," he
thought. “I'll go to the club and pull myself together. ”
A game of pool was beginning, and the room was full of
men. Holden entered, eager to get to the light and the com-
pany of his fellows, singing at the top of his voice,
(
>
« In Baltimore a-walking, a lady I did meet. '»
ISIN
tie
<< Did
19
"Did you ? ” said the club secretary from his corner.
she happen to tell you that your boots were wringing wet ?
Great goodness, man, it's blood! ”
“Bosh! ” said Holden, picking his cue from the rack. “May
I cut in ? It's dew. I've been riding through high crops. My
faith! my boots are in a mess, though!
TI
((
1
« And if it be a girl, she shall wear a wedding-ring;
And if it be a boy, he shall fight for his king;
With his dirk, and his cap, and his little jacket blue,
He shall walk the quarter-deck ) »
(
« Yellow on blue green next player,” said the marker mo-
notonously.
« (He shall walk the quarter-deck' — am I green, marker ? -
He shall walk the quarter-deck'-ouch! that's a bad shot! -
'as his daddy used to do! » »
"I don't see that you have anything to crow about,” said a
zealous junior civilian acidly. «The government is not exactly
pleased with your work when you relieved Sanders. ”
"Does that mean a wigging from headquarters? ” said Holden,
with an abstracted smile. “I think I can stand it. ”
»
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RUDYARD KIPLING
The talk beat up round the ever-fresh subject of each man's
work, and steadied Holden till it was time to go to his dark,
empty bungalow, where his butler received him as one who
knew all his affairs. Holden remained awake for the greater
part of the night, and his dreams were pleasant ones.
9
11
“How old is he now ? »
“Ya illah! What a man's question! He is all-but six weeks
old; and on this night I go up to the house-top with thee, my
life, to count the stars. For that is auspicious. And he was
born on
a Friday, under the sign of the Sun, and it has been
told to me that he will outlive us both and get wealth.
Can we
wish for aught better, beloved ? »
« There is nothing better. Let us go up to the roof, and thou
shalt count the stars — but a few only, for the sky is heavy with
cloud. ”
« The winter rains are late, and maybe they come out of sea-
son. Come, before all the stars are hid. I have put on my rich-
est jewels. ”
“Thou hast forgotten the best of all. ”
"Ai! Ours. He comes also. He has never yet seen the
skies. ”
Ameera climbed the narrow staircase that led to the flat roof.
The child, placid and unwinking, lay in the hollow of her right
arm, gorgeous in silver-fringed muslin, with a small skull-cap on
his head. Ameera wore all that she valued most: the diamond
nose-stud that takes the place of the Western patch in drawing
attention to the curve of the nostril, the gold ornament in the
centre of the forehead studded with tallow-drop emeralds and
flawed rubies, the heavy circlet of beaten gold that was fastened
round her neck by the softness of the pure metal, and the chink-
ing curb-patterned silver anklets hanging low over the rosy
ankle-bone. She was dressed in jade-green muslin, as befitted a
daughter of the Faith, and from shoulder to elbow and elbow to
wrist ran bracelets of silver tied with floss silk; frail glass ban-
gles slipped over the wrist in proof of the slenderness of the
hand, - and certain heavy gold bracelets that had no part in
her country's ornaments, but since they were Holden's gift, and
fastened with a cunning European snap, delighted her immensely.
They sat down by the low white parapet of the roof, over-
looking the city and its lights.
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"They are happy down there,” said Ameera. « But I do not
think that they are as happy as we. Nor do I think the white
nem-log are as happy. And thou ? ”
“I know they are not. ”
« How dost thou know ? »
"They give their children over to the nurses. "
“I have never seen that,” said Ameera, with a sigh; “nor
do I wish to see. Ahi! " --- she dropped her head on Holden's
shoulder-"I have counted forty stars, and I am tired. Look
at the child, love of my life. He is counting too. ”
The baby was staring with round eyes at the dark of the
heavens. Ameera placed him in Holden's arms, and he lay there
without a cry.
“What shall call him among ourselves ? » she said.
"Look! Art thou ever tired of looking? He carries thy very
eyes! But the mouth - »
"Is thine, most dear. Who should know better than I ? »
'Tis such a feeble mouth. Oh, so small! And yet it he
my heart between its lips. Give him to me now. He has been
too long away. ”
“Nay, let him lie: he has not yet begun to cry.
“When he cries thou wilt give him back, eh? What a man
of mankind thou art! If he cried he were only the dearer to
me. But, my life, what little name shall we give him ? »
The small body lay close to Holden's heart. It was utterly
helpless and very soft. He scarcely dared to breathe for fear of
crushing it. The caged green parrot, that is regarded as a sort
of guardian spirit in most native households, moved on its perch
and fluttered a drowsy wing.
« There is the answer,” said Holden. “Mian Mittu has
Spoken. He shall be the parrot. When he is ready he will talk
mightily and run about. Mian Mittu is the parrot in thy - in
the Mussulman tongue, is it not ? ”
“Why put me so far off ? ” said Ameera fretfully. “Let it be
like unto some English name – but not wholly. For he is mine. ”
“Then call him Tota, for that is likest English. ”
“Ay, Tota ! and that is still the parrot. Forgive me, my lord,
for a minute ago; but in truth he is too little to wear all the
weight of Mian Mittu for name. He shall be Tota-
our Tota
Hearest thou, O small one? Littlest, thou art Tota. ”
She touched the child's cheek, and he waking wailed, and it
was necessary to return him to his mother, w
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RUDYARD KIPLING
with the wonderful rhyme of "Aré koko, Ja ré koko! ” which
says: -
“Oh, crow! Go, crow! Baby's sleeping sound,
And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only a penny a pound. ”
Reassured many times as to the price of those plums, Tota
cuddled himself down to sleep. The two sleek white well-bullocks
in the court-yard were steadily chewing the cud of their evening
meal; old Pir Khan squatted at the head of Holden's horse, his
police sabre across his knees, pulling drowsily at a big water-
pipe that croaked like a bull-frog in a pond. Ameera's mother
sat spinning in the lower veranda, and the wooden gate was shut
and barred.
The music of a marriage procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
“I have prayed,” said Ameera after a long pause, with her
chin in her hand—“I have prayed two things. First, that I may
die in thy stead, if thy death is demanded; and in the second,
that I may die in the place of the child. I have prayed to the
Prophet and to Beebee Miriam. Thinkest thou either will hear ? »
"From thy lips who would not hear the lightest word?
“I asked for straight talk, and thou hast given me sweet talk.
Will my prayers be heard ? »
“How can I say? God is very good. ”
“Of that I am not sure.
Listen now.
When I die or the
child dies, what is thy fate? Living, thou wilt return to the
bold white mem-log, for kind calls to kind. ”
“Not always. ”
« With a woman, no.
With a man it is otherwise. Thou wilt
in this life, later on, go back to thine own folk. That I could
almost endure, for I should be dead. But in thy very death
thou wilt be taken away to a strange place and a paradise that
I do not know. ”
“Will it be paradise ? ”
"Surely; for what God would harm thee? But we two-I
and the child - shall be elsewhere; and we cannot come to thee,
nor canst thou come to us. In the old days, before the child
was born, I did not think of these things; but now I think of
them perpetually. It is very hard talk. ”
“It will fall as it will fall. To-morrow we do not know, but
to-day and love we know well. Surely we are happy now. ”
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woman.
»
* So happy that it were well to make our happiness assured.
And thy Beebee Miriam should listen to me; for she is also a
But then she would envy me. It is not seemly for
Inen to worship a woman. ”
Holden laughed aloud at Ameera's little spasm of jealousy.
"Is it not seemly? Why didst thou not turn me from wor-
ship of thee then ? »
“Thou a worshiper! And of me! My king, for all thy sweet
words, well I know that I am thy servant and thy slave, and the
dust under thy feet. And I would not have it otherwise. See ! »
Before Holden could prevent her she stooped forward and
touched his feet; recovering herself with a little laugh, she hugged
Tota closer to her bosom. Then, almost savagely:-
"Is it true that the bold white mem-log live for three times
the length of my life? Is it true that they make their marriages
not before they are old women ? ”
“They marry as do others — when they are women. ”
« “That I know; but they wed when they are twenty-five. Is
that true ? »
« That is true. ”
“Ya illah! At twenty-five! Who would of his own will take
a wife even of eighteen? She is a woman -aging every hour.
Twenty-five! I shall be an old woman at that age, and — those
mem-log remain young forever. How I hate them ! »
“What have they to do with us? ”
“I cannot tell. I know only that there may now be alive
on this earth a woman ten years older than I, who may come to
thee and take thy love ten years after I am an old woman,
gray-headed, and the nurse of Tota's son. That is unjust and
evil. They should die too. ”
“Now for all thy years thou art a child, and shalt be picked
up and carried down the staircase. ”
“ Tota! Have a care for Tota, my lord! Thou at least art as
foolish as any babe! » Ameera tucked Tota out of harm's way in
the hollow of her neck, and was carried down-stairs, laughing, in
Holden's arms, while Tota opened his eyes and smiled after the
manner of the lesser angels.
He was a silent infant; and almost before Holden could real-
ize that he was in the world, developed into a small gold-colored
godling, and unquestioned despot of the house overlooking the
city. Those were months of absolute happiness to Holden and
## p. 8648 (#260) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
Ameera,- happiness withdrawn from the world, shut in behind
the wooden gate that Pir Khan guarded. By day Holden did his
work, with an immense pity for such as were not so fortunate as
himself, and a sympathy for small children that amazed and
amused many mothers at the little station gatherings. At night-
fall he returned to Ameera — Ameera full of the wondrous doings
-
of Tota: how he had been seen to clap his hands together and
move his fingers with intention and purpose, which was manifestly
a miracle; how later he had of his own initiative crawled out of
his low bedstead on to the floor, and swayed on both feet for the
space of three breaths.
"And they were long breaths, for my heart stood still with
delight,” said Ameera.
Then he took the beasts into his councils,--the well-bullocks,
the little gray squirrels, the mongoose that lived in a hole near
the well, and especially Mian Mittu, the parrot, whose tail he
grievously pulled, and Mian Mittu screamed till Ameera and
Holden arrived.
"Oh, villain! Child of strength! This to thy brother on the
house-top! Tobah, tobah! Fie! fie! But I know a charm to
make him wise as Suleiman and Aflatoun. Now look,” said
Ameera. She drew from an embroidered bag a handful of
almonds. “See! we count seven. In the name of God! ”
She placed Mian Mittu, very angry and ruffled, on the top of
his cage; and seating herself between the babe and the bird,
cracked and peeled an almond less white than her teeth. This
is a true charm, my life: and do not laugh. See! I give the
parrot one half, and Tota the other. ” Mian Mittu, with careful
beak, took his share from between Ameera's lips, and she kissed
the other half into the mouth of the child, who ate it slowly,
with wondering eyes. “This I will do each day of seven, and
without doubt he who is ours will be a bold speaker and wise.
Eh, Tota, what wilt thou be when thou art a man and I am
gray-headed ? » Tota tucked his fat legs into adorable creases.
He could crawl, but he was not going to waste the spring of his
youth in idle speech. He wanted Mian Mittu's tail to tweak.
When he advanced to the dignity of a silver belt, - which,
with a magic square engraved on silver and hung round his neck,
made up the greater part of his clothing, --he staggered on a
perilous journey down the garden to Pir Khan, and proffered him
all his jewels in exchange for one little ride on Holden's horse.
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He had seen his mother's mother chaffering with peddlers in the
veranda. Pir Khan wept, set the untried feet on his own gray
head in sign of fealty, and brought the bold adventurer to his
mother's arms, vowing that Tota would be a leader of men ere
his beard was grown.
One hot evening, while he sat on the roof between his father
and mother, watching the never-ending warfare of the kites that
the city boys few, he demanded a kite of his own, with Pir
Khan to fly it, because he had a fear of dealing with anything
larger than himself; and when Holden called him a “spark,” he
rose to his feet and answered slowly, in defense of his new-found
individuality: "Hum 'park nahin hai. Hum admi hai) (I am
no spark, but a man).
The protest made Holden choke, and devote himself very seri-
ously to a consideration of Tota's future.
He need hardly have taken the trouble. The delight of that
life was too perfect to endure. Therefore it was taken away,
as many things are taken away in India, suddenly and without
warning. The little lord of the house, as Pir Khan called him,
grew sorrowful and complained of pains, who had never known
the meaning of pain. Ameera, wild with terror, watched him
through the night, and in the dawning of the second day the life
was shaken out of him by fever— the seasonal autumn fever.
It seemed altogether impossible that he could die; and neither
Ameera nor Holden at first believed the evidence of the body on
the bedstead. Then Ameera beat her head against the wall, and
would have fung herself down the well in the garden, had Hol-
den not restrained her by main force.
One mercy only was granted to Holden. He rode to his office
in broad daylight, and found waiting him an unusually heavy
mail that demanded concentrated attention and hard work. He
was not, however, alive to this kindness of the gods.
!
1
The first shock of a bullet is no more than a brisk pinch.
The wrecked body does not send in its protest to the soul till
ten or fifteen seconds later. Then comes thirst, throbbing and
agony, and a ridiculous amount of screaming. Holden realized
his pain slowly, exactly as he had realized his happiness; and
with the same imperious necessity for hiding all trace of it. In
the beginning he only felt that there had been a loss, and that
## p. 8650 (#262) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
It was
Ameera needed comforting where she sat with her head on her
knees, shivering, as Mian Mittu from the house-top called “Tota!
Tota! Tota! ” Later all his world and the daily life of it rose up
to hurt him.
an outrage that any one of the children
at the band-stand in the evening should be alive and clamorous
when his own child lay dead. It was more than mere pain when
one of them touched him; and stories told by over-fond fathers
of their children's latest performances cut him to the quick. He
could not declare his pain. He had neither help, comfort, nor
sympathy; and Ameera, at the end of each weary day, would
lead him through the hell of self-questioning reproach which is
reserved for those who have lost a child, and believe that with a
little — just a little more care - it might have been saved. There
are not many hells worse than this; but he knows one who has
sat down temperately to consider whether he is or is not respons-
ible for the death of his wife.
"Perhaps," Ameera would say, "I did not take sufficient heed.
Did I, or did I not?
The sun
on the roof that day when he
played so long alone, and I was- ahi! braiding my hair-it
may be that the sun then bred the fever. If I had warned him
from the sun he might have lived. But oh, my life, say that I
am guiltless! Thou knowest that I loved him as I love thee !
Say that there is no blame on me, or I shall die — I shall die!
« There is no blame. Before God, none.
It was written, and
how could we do aught to save ? What has been, has been. Let
it go, beloved. ”
“He was all my heart to me. How can I let the thought go
when my arm tells me every night that he is not here? Ahi !
ahi! 0 Tota, come back to me come back again, and let us
be all together as it was before !
(Peace! peace! For thine own sake, and for mine also, if
thou lovest me, rest. ”
« By this I know thou dost not care; and how shouldst thou ?
The white men have hearts of stone and souls of iron. Oh that
I had married a man of mine own people — though he beat me
and had never eaten the bread of an alien! ”
"Am I an alien, mother of my son ? »
«What else, sahib ? -Oh, forgive me — forgive!
“—
forgive! The death
has driven me mad. Thou art the life of my heart, and the
light of my eyes, and the breath of my life, and — and I have
put thee from me, though it was but for a moment. If thou
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»
goest away, to whom shall I look for help? Do not be angry.
Indeed, it was the pain that spoke, and not thy slave. ”
"I know I know. We be two who were three.
The greater
need therefore that we should be one. "
They were sitting on the roof as of custom. The night was
a warm one in early spring, and sheet-lightning was dancing on
the horizon to a broken tune played by far-off thunder. Aineera
settled herself in Holden's arms.
« The dry earth is lowing like a cow for the rain, and I-I
am afraid. It was not like this when we counted the stars. But
thou lovest me as much as before, though a bond is taken away?
Answer. ”
“I love more, because a new bond has come out of the sor-
row that we have eaten together; and that thou knowest. ”
“Yea, I know,” said Ameera, in a very small whisper. But
it is good to hear thee say so, my life, who art so strong to help.
I will be a child no more, but a woman and an aid to thee.
Listen. Give me my sitar, and I will sing bravely. ”
She took the light silver-studded sitar, and began a song of
the great hero Rajá Rasalu. The hand failed on the strings;
the tune halted, checked, and at a low note turned off to the
poor little nursery rhyme about the wicked crow:-
(
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«C And the wild plums grow in the jungle –
Only a penny a pound;
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only - » »
Then came the tears and the piteous rebellion against fate,
till she slept, moaning a little in her sleep, with the right arm
thrown clear of the body, as though it protected something that
was not there.
It was after this night that life became a little easier for
Holden. The ever-present pain of loss drove him into his work;
and the work repaid him by filling up his mind for eight or
nine hours a day. Ameera sat alone in the house and brooded;
but grew happier when she understood that Holden was more at
according to the custom of women. They touched hap-
piness again, but this time with caution.
“It was because we loved Tota that he died. The jealousy
of God was upon us,” said Ameera. “I have hung up a large
black jar before our window to turn the Evil Eye from us, and
ease
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we must make no protestations of delight, but go softly under-
neath the stars, lest God find us out. Is that not good talk,
worthless one?
She had shifted the accent of the word that means beloved,"
in proof of the sincerity of her purpose. But the kiss that fol.
lowed the new christening was a thing that any deity might have
envied. They went about henceforward saying, “It is naught
it is naught,” and hoping that all the Powers heard.
The Powers were busy on other things. They had allowed
thirty million people four years of plenty, wherein men fed well
and the crops were certain, and the birth-rate rose year by
year; the districts reported a purely agricultural population vary-
ing from nine hundred to two thousand to the square mile of
the overburdened earth. It was time to make room. And the
Member for Lower Tooting, wandering about India in top-hat
and frock-coat, talked largely of the benefits of British rule, and
suggested as the one thing needful the establishment of a duly
qualified electoral system, and a general bestowal of the franchise.
His long-suffering hosts smiled and made him welcome; and
when he paused to admire, with pretty picked words, the blos-
som of the blood-red dhak-tree, that had flowered untimely for a
sign of the sickness that was coming, they smiled more than ever.
It was the Deputy Commissioner of Kot-Kumharsen, staying
at the club for a day, who lightly told a tale that made Holden's
blood run cold as he overheard the end.
“He won't bother any one any more.
Never saw a man
astonished in my life. By Jove!
Look, my life, look! Was there ever such a babe ? Nay, I am
too weak even to clear my arm from him. ”
“Rest, then, and do not talk. I am here, bachheri” [little
woman).
« Well said; for there is a bond and a heel-rope (peecharee]
between us now that nothing can break. Look — canst thou see
in this light? He is without spot or blemish. Never was such
a man-child. Ya illah! he shall be a pundit- no, a trooper of
the Queen. And my life, dost thou love me as well as ever,
though I am faint and sick and worn ? Answer truly. ”
« Yea. I love as I have loved, with all my soul.
Lie still,
pearl, and rest. ”
« Then do not go. Sit by my side here — so. Mother, the
lord of this house needs a cushion. Bring it. ”
There was an
almost imperceptible movement on the part of the new life that
lay in the hollow of Ameera's arm. "Aho! ” she said, her voice
breaking with love. “The babe is a champion from his birth.
He is kicking me in the side with mighty kicks. Was there ever
such a babe ? And he is ours to us— -thine and mine. Put thy
hand on his head; but carefully, for he is very young, and men
are unskilled in such matters. ”
Very cautiously Holden touched with the tips of his fingers
the downy head.
"He is of the Faith,” said Ameera; for, lying here in the
night-watches, I whispered the Call to Prayer and the Profession
of Faith into his ears. And it is most marvelous that he was
born upon a Friday, as I was born. Be careful of him, my life;
but he can almost grip with his hands. ”
Holden found one helpless little hand that closed feebly on
h is finger. And the clutch ran through his limbs till it settled
a bout his heart. Till then his sole thought had been for Ameera.
He began to realize that there was some one else in the world,
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RUDYARD KIPLING
11
T
»
but he could not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. He
sat down to think, and Ameera dozed lightly.
“Get hence, sahib,” said her mother, under her breath. “It
is not good that she should find you here on waking. She must
be still. ”
“I go,” said Holden submissively. «Here be rupees.
See
that my baba gets fat and finds all that he needs. ”
The chink of the silver roused Ameera. “I am his mother,
and no hireling,” she said weakly. «Shall I look to him more or
less for the sake of money? Mother, give it back. I have borne
my lord a son. ”
The deep sleep of weakness came upon her almost before the
sentence was completed. Holden went down to the court-yard
very softly, with his heart at ease. Pir Khan, the old watchman,
was chuckling with delight.
« This house is now complete,” he said; and without fur-
ther comment thrust into Holden's hands the hilt of a sabre
worn many years ago, when Pir Khan served the Queen in the
police.
The bleat of a tethered goat came from the well-curb.
« There be two,” said Pir Khan — «two goats of the best. I
bought them, and they cost much money; and since there is no
birth-party assembled, their flesh will be all mine. Strike craft.
ily, sahib. 'Tis an ill-balanced sabre at the best. Wait till they
raise their heads from cropping the marigolds. ”
"And why? ” said Holden, bewildered.
“For the birth sacrifice. What else ? Otherwise the child,
being unguarded from fate, may die. The Protector of the Poor
knows the fitting words to be said. ”
Holden had learned them once, with little thought that he
would ever say them in earnest. The touch of the cold sabre
hilt in his palm turned suddenly to the clinging grip of the child
up-stairs, — the child that was his own son, — and a dread of loss
filled him.
« Strike! » said Pir Khan. "Never life came into the world
but life was paid for it. See, the goats have raised their heads.
Now! With a drawing cut! ”
Hardly knowing what he did, Holden cut twice as he mut-
tered the Mohammedan prayer that runs, “Almighty! In place
of this my son I offer life for life, blood for blood, head for
head, bone for bone, hair for hair, skin for skin. ” The waiting
f
»
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(
horse snorted and bounded in his pickets at the smell of the raw
blood that spurted over Holden's riding-boots.
“Well smitten! ” said Pir Khan, wiping the sabre. "A swords-
man was lost in thee. Go with a light heart, heaven-born. I
am thy servant, and the servant of thy son. May the Pres-
ence live a thousand years, and — the flesh of the goats is all
mine ? »
Pir Khan drew back richer by a month's pay.
Holden swung
himself into the saddle, and rode off through the low-hanging
wood smoke of the evening. He was full of riotous exultation,
alternating with a vast vague tenderness directed towards no
particular object, that made him choke as he bent over the neck
of his uneasy horse. “I never felt like this in my life," he
thought. “I'll go to the club and pull myself together. ”
A game of pool was beginning, and the room was full of
men. Holden entered, eager to get to the light and the com-
pany of his fellows, singing at the top of his voice,
(
>
« In Baltimore a-walking, a lady I did meet. '»
ISIN
tie
<< Did
19
"Did you ? ” said the club secretary from his corner.
she happen to tell you that your boots were wringing wet ?
Great goodness, man, it's blood! ”
“Bosh! ” said Holden, picking his cue from the rack. “May
I cut in ? It's dew. I've been riding through high crops. My
faith! my boots are in a mess, though!
TI
((
1
« And if it be a girl, she shall wear a wedding-ring;
And if it be a boy, he shall fight for his king;
With his dirk, and his cap, and his little jacket blue,
He shall walk the quarter-deck ) »
(
« Yellow on blue green next player,” said the marker mo-
notonously.
« (He shall walk the quarter-deck' — am I green, marker ? -
He shall walk the quarter-deck'-ouch! that's a bad shot! -
'as his daddy used to do! » »
"I don't see that you have anything to crow about,” said a
zealous junior civilian acidly. «The government is not exactly
pleased with your work when you relieved Sanders. ”
"Does that mean a wigging from headquarters? ” said Holden,
with an abstracted smile. “I think I can stand it. ”
»
## p. 8644 (#256) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
The talk beat up round the ever-fresh subject of each man's
work, and steadied Holden till it was time to go to his dark,
empty bungalow, where his butler received him as one who
knew all his affairs. Holden remained awake for the greater
part of the night, and his dreams were pleasant ones.
9
11
“How old is he now ? »
“Ya illah! What a man's question! He is all-but six weeks
old; and on this night I go up to the house-top with thee, my
life, to count the stars. For that is auspicious. And he was
born on
a Friday, under the sign of the Sun, and it has been
told to me that he will outlive us both and get wealth.
Can we
wish for aught better, beloved ? »
« There is nothing better. Let us go up to the roof, and thou
shalt count the stars — but a few only, for the sky is heavy with
cloud. ”
« The winter rains are late, and maybe they come out of sea-
son. Come, before all the stars are hid. I have put on my rich-
est jewels. ”
“Thou hast forgotten the best of all. ”
"Ai! Ours. He comes also. He has never yet seen the
skies. ”
Ameera climbed the narrow staircase that led to the flat roof.
The child, placid and unwinking, lay in the hollow of her right
arm, gorgeous in silver-fringed muslin, with a small skull-cap on
his head. Ameera wore all that she valued most: the diamond
nose-stud that takes the place of the Western patch in drawing
attention to the curve of the nostril, the gold ornament in the
centre of the forehead studded with tallow-drop emeralds and
flawed rubies, the heavy circlet of beaten gold that was fastened
round her neck by the softness of the pure metal, and the chink-
ing curb-patterned silver anklets hanging low over the rosy
ankle-bone. She was dressed in jade-green muslin, as befitted a
daughter of the Faith, and from shoulder to elbow and elbow to
wrist ran bracelets of silver tied with floss silk; frail glass ban-
gles slipped over the wrist in proof of the slenderness of the
hand, - and certain heavy gold bracelets that had no part in
her country's ornaments, but since they were Holden's gift, and
fastened with a cunning European snap, delighted her immensely.
They sat down by the low white parapet of the roof, over-
looking the city and its lights.
10
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.
(
we
1
)
"They are happy down there,” said Ameera. « But I do not
think that they are as happy as we. Nor do I think the white
nem-log are as happy. And thou ? ”
“I know they are not. ”
« How dost thou know ? »
"They give their children over to the nurses. "
“I have never seen that,” said Ameera, with a sigh; “nor
do I wish to see. Ahi! " --- she dropped her head on Holden's
shoulder-"I have counted forty stars, and I am tired. Look
at the child, love of my life. He is counting too. ”
The baby was staring with round eyes at the dark of the
heavens. Ameera placed him in Holden's arms, and he lay there
without a cry.
“What shall call him among ourselves ? » she said.
"Look! Art thou ever tired of looking? He carries thy very
eyes! But the mouth - »
"Is thine, most dear. Who should know better than I ? »
'Tis such a feeble mouth. Oh, so small! And yet it he
my heart between its lips. Give him to me now. He has been
too long away. ”
“Nay, let him lie: he has not yet begun to cry.
“When he cries thou wilt give him back, eh? What a man
of mankind thou art! If he cried he were only the dearer to
me. But, my life, what little name shall we give him ? »
The small body lay close to Holden's heart. It was utterly
helpless and very soft. He scarcely dared to breathe for fear of
crushing it. The caged green parrot, that is regarded as a sort
of guardian spirit in most native households, moved on its perch
and fluttered a drowsy wing.
« There is the answer,” said Holden. “Mian Mittu has
Spoken. He shall be the parrot. When he is ready he will talk
mightily and run about. Mian Mittu is the parrot in thy - in
the Mussulman tongue, is it not ? ”
“Why put me so far off ? ” said Ameera fretfully. “Let it be
like unto some English name – but not wholly. For he is mine. ”
“Then call him Tota, for that is likest English. ”
“Ay, Tota ! and that is still the parrot. Forgive me, my lord,
for a minute ago; but in truth he is too little to wear all the
weight of Mian Mittu for name. He shall be Tota-
our Tota
Hearest thou, O small one? Littlest, thou art Tota. ”
She touched the child's cheek, and he waking wailed, and it
was necessary to return him to his mother, w
11
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## p. 8646 (#258) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
with the wonderful rhyme of "Aré koko, Ja ré koko! ” which
says: -
“Oh, crow! Go, crow! Baby's sleeping sound,
And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only a penny a pound. ”
Reassured many times as to the price of those plums, Tota
cuddled himself down to sleep. The two sleek white well-bullocks
in the court-yard were steadily chewing the cud of their evening
meal; old Pir Khan squatted at the head of Holden's horse, his
police sabre across his knees, pulling drowsily at a big water-
pipe that croaked like a bull-frog in a pond. Ameera's mother
sat spinning in the lower veranda, and the wooden gate was shut
and barred.
The music of a marriage procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
“I have prayed,” said Ameera after a long pause, with her
chin in her hand—“I have prayed two things. First, that I may
die in thy stead, if thy death is demanded; and in the second,
that I may die in the place of the child. I have prayed to the
Prophet and to Beebee Miriam. Thinkest thou either will hear ? »
"From thy lips who would not hear the lightest word?
“I asked for straight talk, and thou hast given me sweet talk.
Will my prayers be heard ? »
“How can I say? God is very good. ”
“Of that I am not sure.
Listen now.
When I die or the
child dies, what is thy fate? Living, thou wilt return to the
bold white mem-log, for kind calls to kind. ”
“Not always. ”
« With a woman, no.
With a man it is otherwise. Thou wilt
in this life, later on, go back to thine own folk. That I could
almost endure, for I should be dead. But in thy very death
thou wilt be taken away to a strange place and a paradise that
I do not know. ”
“Will it be paradise ? ”
"Surely; for what God would harm thee? But we two-I
and the child - shall be elsewhere; and we cannot come to thee,
nor canst thou come to us. In the old days, before the child
was born, I did not think of these things; but now I think of
them perpetually. It is very hard talk. ”
“It will fall as it will fall. To-morrow we do not know, but
to-day and love we know well. Surely we are happy now. ”
(
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woman.
»
* So happy that it were well to make our happiness assured.
And thy Beebee Miriam should listen to me; for she is also a
But then she would envy me. It is not seemly for
Inen to worship a woman. ”
Holden laughed aloud at Ameera's little spasm of jealousy.
"Is it not seemly? Why didst thou not turn me from wor-
ship of thee then ? »
“Thou a worshiper! And of me! My king, for all thy sweet
words, well I know that I am thy servant and thy slave, and the
dust under thy feet. And I would not have it otherwise. See ! »
Before Holden could prevent her she stooped forward and
touched his feet; recovering herself with a little laugh, she hugged
Tota closer to her bosom. Then, almost savagely:-
"Is it true that the bold white mem-log live for three times
the length of my life? Is it true that they make their marriages
not before they are old women ? ”
“They marry as do others — when they are women. ”
« “That I know; but they wed when they are twenty-five. Is
that true ? »
« That is true. ”
“Ya illah! At twenty-five! Who would of his own will take
a wife even of eighteen? She is a woman -aging every hour.
Twenty-five! I shall be an old woman at that age, and — those
mem-log remain young forever. How I hate them ! »
“What have they to do with us? ”
“I cannot tell. I know only that there may now be alive
on this earth a woman ten years older than I, who may come to
thee and take thy love ten years after I am an old woman,
gray-headed, and the nurse of Tota's son. That is unjust and
evil. They should die too. ”
“Now for all thy years thou art a child, and shalt be picked
up and carried down the staircase. ”
“ Tota! Have a care for Tota, my lord! Thou at least art as
foolish as any babe! » Ameera tucked Tota out of harm's way in
the hollow of her neck, and was carried down-stairs, laughing, in
Holden's arms, while Tota opened his eyes and smiled after the
manner of the lesser angels.
He was a silent infant; and almost before Holden could real-
ize that he was in the world, developed into a small gold-colored
godling, and unquestioned despot of the house overlooking the
city. Those were months of absolute happiness to Holden and
## p. 8648 (#260) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
Ameera,- happiness withdrawn from the world, shut in behind
the wooden gate that Pir Khan guarded. By day Holden did his
work, with an immense pity for such as were not so fortunate as
himself, and a sympathy for small children that amazed and
amused many mothers at the little station gatherings. At night-
fall he returned to Ameera — Ameera full of the wondrous doings
-
of Tota: how he had been seen to clap his hands together and
move his fingers with intention and purpose, which was manifestly
a miracle; how later he had of his own initiative crawled out of
his low bedstead on to the floor, and swayed on both feet for the
space of three breaths.
"And they were long breaths, for my heart stood still with
delight,” said Ameera.
Then he took the beasts into his councils,--the well-bullocks,
the little gray squirrels, the mongoose that lived in a hole near
the well, and especially Mian Mittu, the parrot, whose tail he
grievously pulled, and Mian Mittu screamed till Ameera and
Holden arrived.
"Oh, villain! Child of strength! This to thy brother on the
house-top! Tobah, tobah! Fie! fie! But I know a charm to
make him wise as Suleiman and Aflatoun. Now look,” said
Ameera. She drew from an embroidered bag a handful of
almonds. “See! we count seven. In the name of God! ”
She placed Mian Mittu, very angry and ruffled, on the top of
his cage; and seating herself between the babe and the bird,
cracked and peeled an almond less white than her teeth. This
is a true charm, my life: and do not laugh. See! I give the
parrot one half, and Tota the other. ” Mian Mittu, with careful
beak, took his share from between Ameera's lips, and she kissed
the other half into the mouth of the child, who ate it slowly,
with wondering eyes. “This I will do each day of seven, and
without doubt he who is ours will be a bold speaker and wise.
Eh, Tota, what wilt thou be when thou art a man and I am
gray-headed ? » Tota tucked his fat legs into adorable creases.
He could crawl, but he was not going to waste the spring of his
youth in idle speech. He wanted Mian Mittu's tail to tweak.
When he advanced to the dignity of a silver belt, - which,
with a magic square engraved on silver and hung round his neck,
made up the greater part of his clothing, --he staggered on a
perilous journey down the garden to Pir Khan, and proffered him
all his jewels in exchange for one little ride on Holden's horse.
4
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11
161
He had seen his mother's mother chaffering with peddlers in the
veranda. Pir Khan wept, set the untried feet on his own gray
head in sign of fealty, and brought the bold adventurer to his
mother's arms, vowing that Tota would be a leader of men ere
his beard was grown.
One hot evening, while he sat on the roof between his father
and mother, watching the never-ending warfare of the kites that
the city boys few, he demanded a kite of his own, with Pir
Khan to fly it, because he had a fear of dealing with anything
larger than himself; and when Holden called him a “spark,” he
rose to his feet and answered slowly, in defense of his new-found
individuality: "Hum 'park nahin hai. Hum admi hai) (I am
no spark, but a man).
The protest made Holden choke, and devote himself very seri-
ously to a consideration of Tota's future.
He need hardly have taken the trouble. The delight of that
life was too perfect to endure. Therefore it was taken away,
as many things are taken away in India, suddenly and without
warning. The little lord of the house, as Pir Khan called him,
grew sorrowful and complained of pains, who had never known
the meaning of pain. Ameera, wild with terror, watched him
through the night, and in the dawning of the second day the life
was shaken out of him by fever— the seasonal autumn fever.
It seemed altogether impossible that he could die; and neither
Ameera nor Holden at first believed the evidence of the body on
the bedstead. Then Ameera beat her head against the wall, and
would have fung herself down the well in the garden, had Hol-
den not restrained her by main force.
One mercy only was granted to Holden. He rode to his office
in broad daylight, and found waiting him an unusually heavy
mail that demanded concentrated attention and hard work. He
was not, however, alive to this kindness of the gods.
!
1
The first shock of a bullet is no more than a brisk pinch.
The wrecked body does not send in its protest to the soul till
ten or fifteen seconds later. Then comes thirst, throbbing and
agony, and a ridiculous amount of screaming. Holden realized
his pain slowly, exactly as he had realized his happiness; and
with the same imperious necessity for hiding all trace of it. In
the beginning he only felt that there had been a loss, and that
## p. 8650 (#262) ###########################################
8650
RUDYARD KIPLING
It was
Ameera needed comforting where she sat with her head on her
knees, shivering, as Mian Mittu from the house-top called “Tota!
Tota! Tota! ” Later all his world and the daily life of it rose up
to hurt him.
an outrage that any one of the children
at the band-stand in the evening should be alive and clamorous
when his own child lay dead. It was more than mere pain when
one of them touched him; and stories told by over-fond fathers
of their children's latest performances cut him to the quick. He
could not declare his pain. He had neither help, comfort, nor
sympathy; and Ameera, at the end of each weary day, would
lead him through the hell of self-questioning reproach which is
reserved for those who have lost a child, and believe that with a
little — just a little more care - it might have been saved. There
are not many hells worse than this; but he knows one who has
sat down temperately to consider whether he is or is not respons-
ible for the death of his wife.
"Perhaps," Ameera would say, "I did not take sufficient heed.
Did I, or did I not?
The sun
on the roof that day when he
played so long alone, and I was- ahi! braiding my hair-it
may be that the sun then bred the fever. If I had warned him
from the sun he might have lived. But oh, my life, say that I
am guiltless! Thou knowest that I loved him as I love thee !
Say that there is no blame on me, or I shall die — I shall die!
« There is no blame. Before God, none.
It was written, and
how could we do aught to save ? What has been, has been. Let
it go, beloved. ”
“He was all my heart to me. How can I let the thought go
when my arm tells me every night that he is not here? Ahi !
ahi! 0 Tota, come back to me come back again, and let us
be all together as it was before !
(Peace! peace! For thine own sake, and for mine also, if
thou lovest me, rest. ”
« By this I know thou dost not care; and how shouldst thou ?
The white men have hearts of stone and souls of iron. Oh that
I had married a man of mine own people — though he beat me
and had never eaten the bread of an alien! ”
"Am I an alien, mother of my son ? »
«What else, sahib ? -Oh, forgive me — forgive!
“—
forgive! The death
has driven me mad. Thou art the life of my heart, and the
light of my eyes, and the breath of my life, and — and I have
put thee from me, though it was but for a moment. If thou
(
## p. 8651 (#263) ###########################################
RUDYARD KIPLING
8651
»
goest away, to whom shall I look for help? Do not be angry.
Indeed, it was the pain that spoke, and not thy slave. ”
"I know I know. We be two who were three.
The greater
need therefore that we should be one. "
They were sitting on the roof as of custom. The night was
a warm one in early spring, and sheet-lightning was dancing on
the horizon to a broken tune played by far-off thunder. Aineera
settled herself in Holden's arms.
« The dry earth is lowing like a cow for the rain, and I-I
am afraid. It was not like this when we counted the stars. But
thou lovest me as much as before, though a bond is taken away?
Answer. ”
“I love more, because a new bond has come out of the sor-
row that we have eaten together; and that thou knowest. ”
“Yea, I know,” said Ameera, in a very small whisper. But
it is good to hear thee say so, my life, who art so strong to help.
I will be a child no more, but a woman and an aid to thee.
Listen. Give me my sitar, and I will sing bravely. ”
She took the light silver-studded sitar, and began a song of
the great hero Rajá Rasalu. The hand failed on the strings;
the tune halted, checked, and at a low note turned off to the
poor little nursery rhyme about the wicked crow:-
(
»
1
11
11
1
.
1
4
8
1
1
1
1
3
«C And the wild plums grow in the jungle –
Only a penny a pound;
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only - » »
Then came the tears and the piteous rebellion against fate,
till she slept, moaning a little in her sleep, with the right arm
thrown clear of the body, as though it protected something that
was not there.
It was after this night that life became a little easier for
Holden. The ever-present pain of loss drove him into his work;
and the work repaid him by filling up his mind for eight or
nine hours a day. Ameera sat alone in the house and brooded;
but grew happier when she understood that Holden was more at
according to the custom of women. They touched hap-
piness again, but this time with caution.
“It was because we loved Tota that he died. The jealousy
of God was upon us,” said Ameera. “I have hung up a large
black jar before our window to turn the Evil Eye from us, and
ease
## p. 8652 (#264) ###########################################
8652
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)
C
we must make no protestations of delight, but go softly under-
neath the stars, lest God find us out. Is that not good talk,
worthless one?
She had shifted the accent of the word that means beloved,"
in proof of the sincerity of her purpose. But the kiss that fol.
lowed the new christening was a thing that any deity might have
envied. They went about henceforward saying, “It is naught
it is naught,” and hoping that all the Powers heard.
The Powers were busy on other things. They had allowed
thirty million people four years of plenty, wherein men fed well
and the crops were certain, and the birth-rate rose year by
year; the districts reported a purely agricultural population vary-
ing from nine hundred to two thousand to the square mile of
the overburdened earth. It was time to make room. And the
Member for Lower Tooting, wandering about India in top-hat
and frock-coat, talked largely of the benefits of British rule, and
suggested as the one thing needful the establishment of a duly
qualified electoral system, and a general bestowal of the franchise.
His long-suffering hosts smiled and made him welcome; and
when he paused to admire, with pretty picked words, the blos-
som of the blood-red dhak-tree, that had flowered untimely for a
sign of the sickness that was coming, they smiled more than ever.
It was the Deputy Commissioner of Kot-Kumharsen, staying
at the club for a day, who lightly told a tale that made Holden's
blood run cold as he overheard the end.
“He won't bother any one any more.
Never saw a man
astonished in my life. By Jove!
