No More Learning

There was nothing for it but to go right away-nght away to
some place that was big enough to hide m London, perhaps Somewhere
where nobody knew her and the mere sight of her face or mention of her name
would not drag into the light a string of dirty memories
As she stood there the sound of bells floated towards her, from the village
church round the bend of the road, where the ringers were amusing themselves
by ringing ‘Abide with Me’, as one picks out a tune with one finger on the
piano But presently ‘Abide with Me’ gave way to the familiar Sunday-
morning jangle ‘Oh do leave my wife alone' She is so drunk she can’t get
home'’-the same peal that the bells of St           had been used to ring
three years ago before they were unswung The sound planted a spear of
homesickness m Dorothy’s heart, bringing back to her with momentary
vividness a medley of remembered things-the smell of the glue-pot in the
conservatory when she was making costumes for the school play, and the
chatter of starlings outside her bedroom window, interrupting her prayers
before Holy Communion, and Mrs Pither’s doleful voice chronicling the pains
m the backs of her legs, and the worries of the collapsing belfry and the shop-
debts and the bindweed in the peas-all the multitudinous, urgent details of a
life that had alternated between work and prayer



A Clergyman’s Daughter 335

Prayer' For a very short time, a minute perhaps, the thought arrested her
Prayer-m those days it had been the very source and centre of her life In
trouble or m happiness, it was to prayer that she had turned And she
realized-the first time that it had crossed her mmd-that she had not uttered a
prayer since leaving home, not even since her memory had come back to her
Moreover, she was aware that she had no longer the smallest impulse to pray
Mechanically, she began a whispered prayer, and stopped almost instantly, the
words were empty and futile Prayer, which had been the mainstay of her life,
had no meaning for her any longer She recorded this fact as she walked slowly
up the road, and she recorded it briefly, almost casually, as though it had been
something seen m passmg-a flower m the ditch or a bird crossing the
road- something noticed and then dismissed She had not even the time to
reflect upon what it might mean It was shouldered out of her mind by more
momentous things

It was of the future that she had got to be thinking now She was already
fairly clear m her mind as to what she must do When the hop-picking was at an
end she must go up to London, write to her father for money and her
clothes-for however angry he might be, she could not believe that he intended
to leave her utterly in the lurch-and then start looking for a job It was the
measure of her ignorance that those dreaded words ‘looking for a job’ sounded
hardly at all dreadful in her ears She knew herself strong and willmg-knew
that there were plenty of jobs that she was capable of doing She could be a
nursery governess, for instance-no, better, a housemaid or a parlourmaid
There were not many things in a house that she could not do better than most
servants, besides, the more menial her job, the easier it would be to keep her
past history secret

At any rate, her father’s house was closed to her, that was certain From now
on she had got to fend for herself On this decision, with only a very dim idea of
what it meant, she quickened her pace and got back to the fields m time for the
afternoon shift

The hop-picking season had not much longer to run In a week or
thereabouts Cairns’s would be closing down, and the cockneys would take the
hoppers’ tram to London, and the gypsies would catch their horses, pack their
caravans, and march northward to Lincolnshire, to scramble for jobs in the
potato fields As for the cockneys, they had had their bellyful of hop-picking by
this time They were pining to be back m dear old London, with Woolworths
and the fried-fish shop round the corner, and no more sleeping m straw and
frymg bacon in tin lids with your eyes weeping from wood smoke Hoppmg
was a holiday, but the kind of holiday that you were glad to see the last of You
came down cheering, but you went home cheering louder still and swearing
that you would never go hopping again-until next August, when you had
forgotten the cold nights and the bad pay and the damage to your hands, and
remembered only the blowsy afternoons m the sun and the boozmg of stone
pots of beer round the red camp fires at night

The mornings were growing bleak and Novembensh, grey skies, the first
leaves falling, and finches and starlings already flocking for the winter-



3j 6 A Clergyman 3 s Daughter

Dorothy had written yet again to her father, asking for money and some
clothes, he had left her letter unanswered, nor had anybody else written to her
Indeed, there was no one except her father who knew her present address, but
somehow she had hoped that Mr Warburton might write Her courage almost
failed her now, especially at nights m the wretched straw, when she lay awake
thinking of the vague and menacing future She picked her hops with a sort of
desperation, a sort of frenzy of energy, more aware each day that every handful
of hops meant another fraction of a farthing between herself and starvation
Deafie, her bin-mate, like herself, was picking against time, for it was the last
money he would earn till next year’s hopping season came round The figure
they aimed at was five shillings a day- thirty bushels- between the two of them,
but there was no day when they quite attained it

Deafie was a queer old man and a poor companion after Nobby, but not a
bad sort He was a ship’s steward by profession, but a tramp of many years’
i standmg, as deaf as a post and therefore something of a Mr F ’s aunt m
conversation He was also an exhibitionist, but quite harmless For hours
together he used to sing a little song that went ‘With my willy vn\\y~with my
willy willy’, and though he could not hear what he was singing it seemed to
cause him some kind of pleasure He had the hairiest ears Dorothy had ever
seen There were tufts like miniature Dundreary whiskers growing out of each
of his ears Every year Deafie came hop-picking at Cairns’s farm, saved up a
pound, and then spent a paradisiac week m a lodging-house in Newington
Butts before going back to the road This was the only week in the year when
he slept in what could be called, except by courtesy, a bed

The picking came to an end on 28 September There were several fields still
unpicked, but they were poor hops and at the last moment Mr Cairns decided
to ‘let them blow’ Set number 19 finished their last field at two in the
afternoon, and the little gypsy foreman swarmed up the poles and retrieved the
derelict bunches, and the measurer carted the last hops away As he
disappeared there was a sudden shout of ‘Put ’em in the bins 1 ’ and Dorothy
saw six men bearing down upon her with a fiendish expression on their faces,
and all the women m the set scattermg and running Before she could collect
her wits to escape the men had seized her, laid her at full length in a bin and
swung her violently from side to side.