No More Learning

_Hæc est parva Domus, magnus quâ natus_ Erasmus.

The same House being rebuilt and enlarged, has the following
Inscription.

_Ædibus his ortus Mundum decoravit_ Erasmus,
_Artibus ingenuis, Religione, Fide_.

As for his Stature, he was neither very low nor very tall, his Body well
set, proportioned and handsome, neither fat nor lean, but of a nice and
tender Constitution, and easily put out of Order with the least
Deviation from his ordinary Way of Living; he had from his Childhood so
great an Aversion to eating of Fish, that he never attempted it without
the Danger of his Life, and therefore obtain'd a Dispensation from the
Pope from eating Fish in _Lent_, as appears by the Story of _Eras_, (as
he stiles himself) in the Colloquy call'd _Ichthyophagia_. He was of a
fair and pale Complexion, had a high Forehead, his Hair, in his younger
Years, inclining to yellow, his Nose pretty long, a little thick at the
End, his Mouth something large, but not ill made, his Eyes grey but
lively, his Countenance chearful and pleasant, his Voice small, but
musical, his Speech distinct and plain, pleasant and jocose, his Gaite
handsome and grave; he had a, most happy Memory and acute Wit, he was
very constant to his Friend, and exceeding liberal to those that were
under Necessity, especially to studious and hopeful Youths, and to such
as were destitute in their Journey: In his Conversation he was very
pleasant and affable, free from peevish and morose Humours, but very
witty and satyrical. It is related, that when _Erasmus_ was told, that
_Luther_ had married and gotten the famous _Catharine Bora_ with Child,
he should in a jesting Manner say, that, if according to the popular
Tradition, _Antichrist_ was to be begotten between a Monk and a Nun, the
World was in a fair Way now to have a Litter of Antichrists.

I shall conclude with the Character given of _Erasmus_ by Mr. _Thomas
Brown_, who comparing him with _Lucian_, says, That whereas _Erasmus_
had translated Part of his Dialogues into _Latin_, he had made _Lucian_
the Pattern of his Colloquies, and had copied his Graces with that
Success, that it is difficult to say which of the two was the Original.

That both of them had an equal Aversion to austere, sullen, designing
Knaves, of what Complexion, Magnitude, or Party soever. That both of
them were Men of Wit and Satyr, but that _Erasmus_, according to the
Genius of his Country, had more of the Humourist in him than _Lucian_,
and in all Parts of Learning was infinitely his Superior. That _Lucian_
liv'd in an Age, when Fiction and Fable had usurp'd the Name of
Religion, and Morality was debauch'd by a Set of sowr Scoundrels, Men of
Beard and Grimace, but scandalously lewd and ignorant, who yet had the
Impudence to preach up Virtue, and stile themselves Philosophers,
perpetually clashing with one another about the Precedence of their
several Founders, the Merits of their different Sects, and if it is
possible, about Trifles of less Importance; yet all agreeing in a
different Way, to dupe and amuse the poor People by the fantastick
Singularity of their Habits, the unintelligible Jargon of their Schools,
and their Pretentions to a severe and mortified Life. This motly Herd of
Jugglers _Lucian_ in a great Measure help'd to chase out of the World,
by exposing them in their proper Colours.

But in a few Generations after him, a new Generation sprung up in the
World, well known by the Name of Monks and Friars, differing from the
former in Religion, Garb, and a few other Circumstances, but in the
main, the same individual Imposters; the same everlasting
Cobweb-Spinners as to their nonsensical Controversies, the same
abandon'd Rakehells as to their Morals; but as for the mysterious Arts
of heaping up Wealth, and picking the Peoples Pockets, as much superior
to their Predecessors the _Pagan_ Philosophers, as an overgrown
Favourite that cheats a whole Kingdom, is to a common Malefactor.

These were the sanctified Cheats, whose Follies and Vices _Erasmus_ has
so effectually lash'd, that some Countries have entirely turn'd these
Drones out of their Cells, and in other Places where they are still
kept, they are grown contemptible to the highest Degree, and oblig'd to
be always upon their Guard.




THE

_Familiar Colloquies_

OF

DESIDERIUS ERASMUS,

OF

_ROTERDAM_.


* * * * *


The ARGUMENT.

_This Colloquy teaches Courtesy and Civility in Saluting,
who, when, and by what Title we ought to Salute_.


_At the First Meeting_.

A Certain Person teaches, and not without Reason, that we should Salute
freely. For a courteous and kind Salutation oftentimes engages
Friendship, and reconciles Persons at Variance, and does undoubtedly
nourish and increase a mutual Benevolence. There are indeed some Persons
that are such Churls, and of so clownish a Disposition, that if you
salute them, they will scarcely salute you again. But this Vice is in
some Persons rather the Effect of their Education, than their natural
Disposition.

It is a Piece of Civility to salute those that come in your Way; either
such as come to us, or those that we go to speak with. And in like
Manner such as are about any Sort of Work, either at Supper, or that
yawn, or hiccop, or sneeze, or cough. But it is the Part of a Man that
is civil even to an Extreme, to salute one that belches, or breaks Wind
backward. But he is uncivilly civil that salutes one that is making
Water, or easing Nature.

God save you Father, God save you little Mother, God save you Brother,
God save you my worthy Master, God save you heartily Uncle, God save you
sweet Cousin.

It is courteous to make Use of a Title of Relation or Affinity, unless
when it carries something of a Reflection along with it, then indeed it
is better not to use such Titles, tho' proper; but rather some that are
more engaging, as when we call a Mother in Law, Mother; a Son in Law,
Son; a Father in Law, Father; a Sister's Husband, Brother; a Brother's
Wife, Sister: And the same we should do in Titles, either of Age or
Office. For it will be more acceptable to salute an antient Man by the
Name of Father, or venerable Sir, than by the Sirname of Age; altho' in
antient Times they used to make use of [Greek: hô geron], as an
honourable Title. God save you Lieutenant, God save you Captain; but not
God save you Hosier or Shoe-maker. God save you Youth, or young Man. Old
Men salute young Men that are Strangers to them by the Name of Sons, and
young Men again salute them by the Name of Fathers or Sirs.


_A more affectionate Salutation between Lovers_.

God save you my little _Cornelia_, my Life, my Light, my Delight, my
Sweet-heart, my Honey, my only Pleasure, my little Heart, my Hope, my
Comfort, my Glory.


_Either for the Sake of Honour or otherwise_.

_Sal. _ O Master, God bless ye.

_Ans. _ Oh! Good Sir, I wish you the same.

_Sal. _ God bless you most accomplish'd, and most famous Sir. God bless
you again and again thou Glory of Learning. God save you heartily my
very good Friend. God save you my _Mæcenas_.

_Ans. _ God save you my Singular Patron, God save you most approv'd Sir.
God save you, the only Ornament of this Age. God bless you, the Delight
of _Germany_.

_Sal. _ God bless you all together. God bless you all alike.

_Ans. _ God bless you my brave Boys.

_Sal. _ God save you merry Companion. God bless you Destroyer of Wine.

_Ans. _ God bless you Glutton, and unmerciful Devourer of Cakes.

_Sal. _ God bless you heartily President of all Virtue.

_Ans. _ God bless you in like Manner, Pattern of universal Honesty.

_Sal. _ God save you little old Woman of Fifteen Years of Age.

_Ans. _ God save you Girl, eighty Years old.

_Sal. _ Much good may it do you with your bald Pate.

_Ans. _ And much good may it do you with your slit Nose. As you salute,
so you shall be saluted again. If you say that which is ill, you shall
hear that which is worse.

_Sal. _ God save you again and again.

_Ans. _ God save you for ever and ever.

_Sal. _ God save you more than a thousand Times.

_Ans. _ In truth I had rather be well once for all.

_Sal. _ God bless you as much as you can desire.

_Ans. _ And you as much as you deserve.

_Sal. _ I wish you well.

_Ans. _ But what if I won't be so? In truth I had rather be sick, than to
enjoy the Health that you want.

God bless your Holiness, Your Greatness, Your Highness, Your Majesty,
Your Beatitude, Your High Mightiness, are Salutations rather us'd by the
Vulgar, than approv'd by the Learned.


_In the Third Person_.

_Sapidus_ wishes Health to his _Erasmus_.

_Sapidus_ salutes his _Beatus_, wishing him much Health.

* * * * *

_Another Form_.

_Sal. _ God bless you _Crito_, I wish you well good Sir.

_Ans. _ And I wish you better. Peace be to thee Brother, is indeed a
Christian Salutation, borrow'd from the _Jews_: but yet not to be
rejected. And of the like Kind is, A happy Life to you.

_Sal. _ Hail Master.

_Ans. _ In truth I had rather have than crave.

_Sal. _ [Greek: Chaire].

_Ans. _ Remember you are at _Basil_, and not _Athens_.

_Sal. _ How do you then dare to speak _Latin_ when you are not at _Rome_?

* * * * *

_Forms of well Wishing_.

And to wish well is a Sort of Salutation.


_To a Woman with Child_.

God send you a good Delivery, and that you may make your Husband Father
of a fine Child. May the Virgin Mother make you a happy Mother. I wish
that this swell'd Belly may asswage happily. Heaven grant that this
Burthen you carry, whatsoever it is, may have as easy an out-coming as
it had an in-going. God give you a good Time.


_To Guests_.

Happy be this Feast. Much good may it do all the Company. I wish all
Happiness to you all. God give you a happy Banquet.

_To one that sneezes. _

May it be lucky and happy to you. God keep you. May it be for your
Health. God bless it to you.

_To one that is about to begin any Business. _

May it prove happy and prosperous for the Publick Good. May that you are
going about be an universal Good. God prosper what you are about. God
bless your Labours. God bless your Endeavours. I pray that by God's
Assistance you may happily finish what you have begun. May Christ in
Heaven prosper what is under your Hand. May what you have begun end
happily. May what you are set about end happily. You are about a good
Work, I wish you a good End of it, and that propitious Heaven may favour
your pious Undertakings. Christ give Prosperity to your Enterprise. May
what you have undertaken prosper. I heartily beg of Almighty God that
this Design may be as successful as it is honourable. May the Affair so
happily begun, more happily end. I wish you a good Journey to _Italy_,
and a better Return. I wish you a happy Voyage, and a more happy Return.
I pray God that, this Journey being happily perform'd, we may in a short
Time have the Opportunity of congratulating you upon your happy Return.
May it be your good Fortune to make a good Voyage thither and back
again. May your Journey be pleasant, but your Return more pleasant. I
wish this Journey may succeed according to your Heart's Desire. I wish
this Journey may be as pleasant to you, as the want of your good Company
in the mean Time will be troublesome to us. May you set Sail with
promising Presages. I wish this Journey may succeed according to both
our Wishes. I wish this Bargain may be for the Good and Advantage of us
both. I wish this may be a happy Match to us all. The blessed Jesus God
keep thee. Kind Heaven return you safe. God keep thee who art one Half
of my Life. I wish you a safe Return. I wish that this New-Year may
begin happily, go on more happily, and end most happily to you, and
that you may have many of them, and every Year happier than other.

_Ans. _ And I again wish you many happy Ages, that you mayn't wish well
to me _gratis_.

_Sal. _ I wish you a glorious Day to Day. May this Sun-rising be a happy
one to you.

_Ans. _ I wish you the same. May this be a happy and a prosperous Morning
to both of us.

_Sal. _ Father, I wish you a good Night. I wish you good Repose to Night.
May you sleep sweetly. God give you good Rest. May you sleep without
dreaming. God send you may either sleep sweetly or dream pleasantly. A
good Night to you.

_Ans. _ Since you always love to be on the getting Hand, I wish you a
thousand Happinesses to one you wish to me.

* * * * *

_Farewell at parting. _

Fare ye all well. Farewell. Take care of your Health. Take a great Care
of your Health. I bid you good by, Time calls me away, fare ye well. I
wish you as well as may be. Farewell mightily, or if you had rather have
it so, lustily. Fare you well as you are worthy. Fare you as well as you
deserve. Farewell for these two Days. If you send me away, farewell till
to-morrow. Would you have any Thing with me? Have you any Thing else to
say to me?

_Ans. _ Nothing but to wish you well.

_Sal. _ Take Care to preserve your Health. Take Care of your Health. Look
well to your Health. See that at the next Meeting we see you merry and
hearty. I charge you make much of your self.
See that you have a sound
Mind in a healthful Body. Take Care you be universally well both in Body
and Mind.

_Ans. _ I'll promise you I will do my Endeavour. Fare you well also; and
I again wish you prosperous Health.

_Of saluting by another. _

Remember my hearty Love to _Frobenius_. Be sure to remember my Love to
little _Erasmus_. Remember me to _Gertrude's_ Mother with all imaginable
Respect; tell them I wish 'em all well. Remember me to my old
Companions. Remember me to my Friends. Give my Love to my Wife. Remember
me to your Brother in your Letter. Remember my Love to my Kinsman. Have
you any Service to command by me to your Friends?

_Ans. _ Tell them I wish them all heartily well.

_Sal. _ Have you any Recommendations to send by me to your Friends?

_Ans. _ Much Health to them all, but especially to my Father.

_Sal. _ Are there any Persons to whom you would command me any Service?

_Ans. _ To all that ask how I do. The Health you have brought from my
Friends to me, carry back again with much Interest. Carry my hearty
Service to all them that have sent their Service to me. Pray do so much
as be my Representative in saluting my Friends. I would have written to
my Son in Law, but you will serve me instead of a Letter to him.

_Sal. _ Soho, soho, whither are you going so fast?

_Ans. _ Strait to _Louvain_.

_Sal. _ Stay a little, I have something to send by you.

_Ans. _ But it is inconvenient for a Footman to carry a Fardel? What is
it?

_Sal. _ That you recommend me to _Goclenius, Rutgerus, John Campensis_,
and all the Society of Trilinguists.

_Ans. _ If you put nothing into my Snapsack but Healths, I shall carry
them with Ease.

_Sal. _ And that you may not do that for nothing, I pray that Health may
be your Companion both going and coming back.


_How we ought to congratulate one that is return'd from a Journey. _

We are glad you are come well Home. It is a Pleasure that you are come
Home safe. It is a Pleasure to us that you are come well Home. We
congratulate your happy Return. We give God Thanks that you are come
safe Home to us. The more uneasy we were at the Want of you, the more
glad we are to see you again. We congratulate you and ourselves too that
you are come Home to us alive and well. Your Return is the more pleasant
by how much it was less expected.

_Ans. _ I am glad too that as I am well myself I find you so. I am very
glad to find you in good Health. I should not have thought myself well
come Home if I had not found you well; but now I think myself safe, in
that I see you safe and in good Health.

* * * * *

_A Form of asking Questions at the first meeting. _


The ARGUMENT.

_This Colloquy teaches Forms of enquiring at the first
meeting. Whence come you? What News bring you? How do you
do? &c. _


_GEORGE, LIVINUS. _

_George. _ Out of what Hen-Coop or Cave came you?

_Liv. _ Why do you ask me such a Question?

_Ge. _ Because you have been so poorly fed; you are so thin a Body may
see thro' you, and as dry as a Kecks. Whence came you from?

_Liv. _ From Montacute College.

_Ge. _ Then sure you are come loaden with Letters for us.

_Liv. _ Not so, but with Lice I am.

_Ge. _ Well then you had Company enough.

_Liv. _ In truth it is not safe for a Traveller now a Days to go without
Company.

_Ge. _ I know well enough a Louse is a Scholar's Companion. Well but do
you bring any News from _Paris_?

_Liv. _ Ay, I do, and that in the first Place that I know you won't
believe. At _Paris_ a _Bete_ is wise, and an _Oak_ preaches.

_Ge. _ What's that you tell me?

_Liv. _ That which you hear.

_Ge. _ What is it I hear?

_Liv. _ That which I tell you.

_Ge. _ O monstrous! Sure Mushrooms and Stones must be the Hearers where
there are such Preachers.

_Liv. _ Well, but it is even so as I tell you, nor do I speak only by
hear say, but what I know to be true.

_Ge. _ Sure Men must needs be very wise there where _Betes_ and _Oaks_
are so.

_Liv. _ You are in the right on't.

* * * * *

_Of enquiring concerning Health. _

_Ge. _ Are you well?

_Liv. _ Look in my Face.

_Ge. _ Why do you not rather bid me cast your Water? Do you take me for a
Doctor? I don't ask you if you are in Health, for your Face bespeaks you
so to be; but I ask you how you like your own Condition?

_Liv. _ I am very well in my Body, but sick in my Mind.

_Ge. _ He's not well indeed that is sick in that Part.

_Liv. _ This is my Case, I'm well in my Body, but sick in my Pocket.

_Ge. _ Your Mother will easily cure that Distemper. How have you done for
this long Time?

_Liv. _ Sometimes better, and sometimes worse, as human Affairs commonly
go.

_Ge. _ Are you very well in health? Are your Affairs in a good
Condition? Are your Circumstances as you would have them? Have you
always had your Health well?

_Liv. _ Very well, I thank God. By God's Goodness I have always had my
Health very well. I have always been very well hitherto. I have been in
very good, favourable, secure, happy, prosperous, successful, perfect
Health, like a Prince, like a Champion, fit for any Thing.

_Ge. _ God send you may always enjoy the same. I am glad to hear it. You
give me a Pleasure in saying so. It is very pleasant to me to hear that.
I am glad at my Heart to hear this from you. This is no bad News to me.
I am exceeding glad to hear you say so. I wish you may be so always. I
wish you may enjoy the same Health as long as you live. In
congratulating you, I joy myself, Thanks to Heaven for it.

_Li. _ Indeed I am very well if you are so.

_Ge. _ Well, but have you met with no Trouble all this while?

_Li. _ None but the Want of your good Company.

_Ge. _ Well, but how do you do though?

_Li. _ Well enough, finely, bravely, very well as may be, very well
indeed, happily, commodiously, no Way amiss. I enjoy rather what Health
I wish, than what I deserved, Princely, Herculean, Champion-like.

_Ge. _ I was expecting when you would say Bull-like too.

* * * * *

_Of being Ill. _

_Ge. _ Are you in good Health?

_Li. _ I wish I were. Not altogether so well as I would be. Indeed I am
so, so. Pretty well. I am as well as I can be, since I can't be so well
as I would be. As I use to be. So as it pleases God. Truly not very
well. Never worse in all my Life. As I am wont to be. I am as they use
to be who have to do with the Doctor.

_Ge. _ How do you do?

_Li. _ Not as I would do.

_Ge. _ Why truly not well, ill, very ill, in an unhappy, unprosperous,
unfavourable, bad, adverse, unlucky, feeble, dubious, indifferent, State
of Health, not at all as I would, a tolerable, such as I would not wish
even to my Enemies.

_Ge. _ You tell me a melancholy Story. Heavens forbid it. God forbid. No
more of that I pray. I wish what you say were not true. But you must be
of good Chear, you must pluck up a good Heart. A good Heart is a good
Help in bad Circumstances. You must bear up your Mind with the Hope of
better Fortune. What Distemper is it? What Sort of Disease is it? What
Distemper is it that afflicts you? What Distemper are you troubled with?

_Li. _ I can't tell, and in that my Condition is the more dangerous.

_Ge. _ That's true, for when the Disease is known, it is half cured. Have
you had the Advice of any Doctor?

_Li. _ Ay, of a great many.

_Ge.