My plot, for
reformation
of the?
Ben Jonson - The Devil's Association
Faith, I mu?
t neuer think it.
50
Nor were it rea? on in mee to expect
That for my ? ake, hee ? hould put off a nature
Hee ? uck'd in with his milke. It may be _Madam_,
Deceiuing tru? t, is all he has to tru? t to:
If ? o, I ? hall be loath, that any hope 55
Of mine, ? hould bate him of his meanes.
TAY. Yo' are ? harp, Sir.
This act may make him hone? t!
MAN. If he were
To be made hone? t, by an act of _Parliament_,
I ? hould not alter, i' my faith of him.
TAY. _Eyther-? ide! _
Welcome, deare _Either-? ide_! how ha? t thou done, good wench?
_She spies the_ Lady Eyther-? ide.
Thou ha? t beene a ? tranger! I ha' not ? eene thee, this weeke. 61
[576] SD. IIIJ] VI. 1641 TAILE. . . . ] _A room in Lady_ TAILBUSH'S
_House. Enter Lady_ TAILBUSH _and_ MEERCRAFT. G
[577] 10 SN. om. G
[578] 32 valours. _Enter_ MANLY. G
[579] 33 SN. om. G
[580] 42 SN. om. G
[581] 43 wee] he G
[582] 47 I'm 1716, W
[583] 56 Y'are 1716, W
[584] 59 him. _Enter Lady_ EITHERSIDE.
[585] 60 SN. om. G
ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. II.
EITHERSIDE. {_To them_
Ever your ? eruant, _Madame_.
TAY. Where hast 'hou beene? [144]
I did ? o long to ? ee thee.
EIT. Vi? iting, and ? o tyr'd!
I prote? t, _Madame_, 'tis a mon? trous trouble!
TAY. And ? o it is. I ? weare I mu? t to morrow,
Beginne my vi? its (would they were ouer) at _Court_. 5
It tortures me, to thinke on 'hem.
EIT. I doe heare
You ha' cau? e, Madam, your ? ute goes on.
TAY. Who told thee?
EYT. One, that can tell: M^r. _Eyther-? ide_.
TAY. O, thy hu? band!
Yes, faith, there's life in't, now: It is referr'd.
If wee once ? ee it vnder the ? eales, wench, then, 10
Haue with 'hem for the great _Carroch_, ? ixe hor? es,
And the two _Coach-men_, with my _Ambler_, bare,
And my three women: wee will liue, i' faith,
The examples o' the towne, and gouerne it.
I'le lead the fa? hion ? till.
EIT. You doe that, now, 15
Sweet _Madame_.
TAY. O, but then, I'll euery day
Bring vp ? ome new deuice. Thou and I, _Either-? ide_,
Will fir? t be in it. I will giue it thee;
And they ? hall follow vs. Thou ? halt, I ? weare,
Weare euery moneth a new gowne, out of it. 20
EITH. Thanke you good _Madame_.
TAY. Pray thee call mee _Taile-bu? h_
As I thee, _Either-? ide_: I not loue this, _Madame_.
ETY. Then I prote? t to you, _Taile-bu? h_, I am glad
Your _Bu? ine? ? e_ ? o ? ucceeds.
TAY. Thanke thee, good _Eyther-? ide_.
ETY. But Ma? ter _Either-? ide_ tells me, that he likes 25
Your other _Bu? ine? ? e_ better.
TAY. Which?
EIT. O' the Tooth-picks.
TAY. I neuer heard on't.
EIT. Aske M^r. _Mere-craft_.
MER. _Madame? _ H'is one, in a word, I'll tru? t his malice,
With any mans credit, I would haue abus'd!
Mere-craft _hath whi? per'd with the while_.
MAN. Sir, if you thinke you doe plea? e mee, in this, 30
You are deceiu'd!
MER. No, but becau? e my _Lady_,
Nam'd him my kin? man; I would ? atisfie you,
What I thinke of him: and pray you, vpon it
To iudge mee!
MAN. So I doe: that ill mens friend? hip,
Is as vnfaithfull, as them? elues.
TAY. Doe you heare? 35
Ha' you a _Bu? ine? ? e_ about Tooth-picks?
MER. Yes, _Madame_.
Did I ne'r tell't you? I meant to haue offer'd it
Your _Lady-? hip_, on the perfecting the pattent. [145]
TAY. How is't!
MER. For ? eruing the whole ? tate with Tooth-picks;
_The_ Proiect _for_ Tooth-picks.
(Somewhat an intricate _Bu? ine? ? e_ to di? cour? e) but-- 40
I ? hew, how much the Subiect is abus'd,
Fir? t, in that one commodity? then what di? ea? es,
And putrefactions in the gummes are bred,
By tho? e are made of adultrate, and fal? e wood?
My plot, for reformation of the? e, followes. 45
To haue all Tooth-picks, brought vnto an _office_,
There ? eal'd; and ? uch as counterfait 'hem, mulcted.
And la? t, for venting 'hem to haue a booke
Printed, to teach their v? e, which euery childe
Shall haue throughout the kingdome, that can read, 50
And learne to picke his teeth by. Which beginning
Earely to practice, with ? ome other rules,
Of neuer ? leeping with the mouth open, chawing
Some graines of _ma? ticke_, will pre? erue the breath
Pure, and ? o free from taynt--ha' what is't? ? ai? t thou?
Traines _his man whi? pers him_.
TAY. Good faith, it ? ounds a very pretty _Bus'ne? ? e_! 56
EIT. So M^r. _Either-? ide_ ? aies, _Madame_.
MER. The _Lady_ is come.
TAY. Is ? he? Good, waite vpon her in. My _Ambler_
Was neuer ? o ill ab? ent. _Either-? ide_,
How doe I looke to day? Am I not dre? t, 60
Spruntly?
_She lookes in her gla? ? e. _
EIT. Yes, verily, _Madame_.
TAY. Pox o' _Madame_, Will you not leaue that?
EIT. Yes, good _Taile-bu? h_.
TAY. So?
Sounds not that better? What vile _Fucus_ is this,
Thou ha? t got on?
EIT. 'Tis _Pearle_.
TAY. _Pearle? _ _Oy? ter-? hells_:
As I breath, _Either-side_, I know't. Here comes 65
(They say) a wonder, ? irrah, has beene in _Spaine_!
Will teach vs all; ? hee's ? ent to mee, from _Court_.
To gratulate with mee! Pr'y thee, let's ob? erue her,
What faults ? he has, that wee may laugh at 'hem,
When ? he is gone.
EIT. That we will heartily, _Tail-bu? h_. 70
Wittipol _enters_.
TAY. O, mee! the very _Infanta_ of the _Giants_!
[586] SD. om. G
[587] 1 thou 1692, f.
[588] 22 not loue] love not 1716, f.
[589] 26 O'] O, 1641
[590] 27 on't] of it G
[591] 28 Madam! [_Aside to Manly. _] G || He is G
[592] 29 SN. _with him the_ 1692, 1716, W SN. om. G
[593] 37 tell it G
[594] 39 is it G || SN. om. G
[595] 40 an] in 1641
[596] 42 disease W
[597] 44 adulterate G
[598] 53 chewing 1716, f.
[599] 55 SN. ] taint--_Enter_ TRAINS, _and whispers him_. G
[600] 58 in. [_Exit Meercraft. _] G
[601] 61 SN. ] _She_ om. G || o' ret. G
[602] 68 Prythee 1692 Prithee 1716 prithee W, G
[603] 70 SN. ] _Re-enter_ MEERCRAFT, _introducing_ WITTIPOL _dressed
as a Spanish Lady_. G
ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. IJI.
MERE-CRAFT. WITTIPOL. } to them.
Wittipol _is dre? t like a_ Spani? h Lady.
MER. Here is a noble _Lady_, _Madame_, come, [146]
From your great friends, at _Court_, to ? ee your _Ladi-? hip_:
And haue the honour of your acquaintance.
TAY. Sir.
She do's vs honour.
WIT. Pray you, ? ay to her _Ladi? hip_,
It is the manner of _Spaine_, to imbrace onely, 5
Neuer to ki? ? e. She will excu? e the cu? tome!
_Excu? es him ? elfe for not ki? ? ing. _
TAY. Your v? e of it is law. Plea? e you, ? weete, _Madame_,
To take a ? eate.
WIT. Yes, _Madame_. I'haue had
The fauour, through a world of faire report
To know your vertues, _Madame_; and in that 10
Name, haue de? ir'd the happine? ? e of pre? enting
My ? eruice to your _Ladi? hip_!
TAY. Your loue, _Madame_,
I mu? t not owne it el? e.
WIT. Both are due, _Madame_,
To your great vndertakings.
TAY. Great? In troth, _Madame_,
They are my friends, that thinke 'hem any thing: 15
If I can doe my ? exe (by 'hem) any ? eruice,
I'haue my ends, _Madame_.
WIT. And they are noble ones,
That make a multitude beholden, _Madame_:
The common-wealth of _Ladies_, mu? t acknowledge from you.
EIT. Except ? ome enuious, _Madame_.
WIT. Yo' are right in that, _Madame_, 20
Of which race, I encountred ? ome but lately.
Who ('t ? eemes) haue ? tudyed rea? ons to di? credit
Your _bu? ine? ? e_.
TAY. How, ? weet _Madame_.
WIT. Nay, the parties
Wi' not be worth your pau? e--Mo? t ruinous things, _Madame_,
That haue put off all hope of being recouer'd 25
To a degree of hand? omene? ? e.
TAY. But their rea? ons, _Madame_?
I would faine heare.
WIT. Some _Madame_, I remember.
They ? ay, that painting quite de? troyes the face--
EIT. O, that's an old one, _Madame_.
WIT. There are new ones, too.
Corrupts the breath; hath left ? o little ?
Nor were it rea? on in mee to expect
That for my ? ake, hee ? hould put off a nature
Hee ? uck'd in with his milke. It may be _Madam_,
Deceiuing tru? t, is all he has to tru? t to:
If ? o, I ? hall be loath, that any hope 55
Of mine, ? hould bate him of his meanes.
TAY. Yo' are ? harp, Sir.
This act may make him hone? t!
MAN. If he were
To be made hone? t, by an act of _Parliament_,
I ? hould not alter, i' my faith of him.
TAY. _Eyther-? ide! _
Welcome, deare _Either-? ide_! how ha? t thou done, good wench?
_She spies the_ Lady Eyther-? ide.
Thou ha? t beene a ? tranger! I ha' not ? eene thee, this weeke. 61
[576] SD. IIIJ] VI. 1641 TAILE. . . . ] _A room in Lady_ TAILBUSH'S
_House. Enter Lady_ TAILBUSH _and_ MEERCRAFT. G
[577] 10 SN. om. G
[578] 32 valours. _Enter_ MANLY. G
[579] 33 SN. om. G
[580] 42 SN. om. G
[581] 43 wee] he G
[582] 47 I'm 1716, W
[583] 56 Y'are 1716, W
[584] 59 him. _Enter Lady_ EITHERSIDE.
[585] 60 SN. om. G
ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. II.
EITHERSIDE. {_To them_
Ever your ? eruant, _Madame_.
TAY. Where hast 'hou beene? [144]
I did ? o long to ? ee thee.
EIT. Vi? iting, and ? o tyr'd!
I prote? t, _Madame_, 'tis a mon? trous trouble!
TAY. And ? o it is. I ? weare I mu? t to morrow,
Beginne my vi? its (would they were ouer) at _Court_. 5
It tortures me, to thinke on 'hem.
EIT. I doe heare
You ha' cau? e, Madam, your ? ute goes on.
TAY. Who told thee?
EYT. One, that can tell: M^r. _Eyther-? ide_.
TAY. O, thy hu? band!
Yes, faith, there's life in't, now: It is referr'd.
If wee once ? ee it vnder the ? eales, wench, then, 10
Haue with 'hem for the great _Carroch_, ? ixe hor? es,
And the two _Coach-men_, with my _Ambler_, bare,
And my three women: wee will liue, i' faith,
The examples o' the towne, and gouerne it.
I'le lead the fa? hion ? till.
EIT. You doe that, now, 15
Sweet _Madame_.
TAY. O, but then, I'll euery day
Bring vp ? ome new deuice. Thou and I, _Either-? ide_,
Will fir? t be in it. I will giue it thee;
And they ? hall follow vs. Thou ? halt, I ? weare,
Weare euery moneth a new gowne, out of it. 20
EITH. Thanke you good _Madame_.
TAY. Pray thee call mee _Taile-bu? h_
As I thee, _Either-? ide_: I not loue this, _Madame_.
ETY. Then I prote? t to you, _Taile-bu? h_, I am glad
Your _Bu? ine? ? e_ ? o ? ucceeds.
TAY. Thanke thee, good _Eyther-? ide_.
ETY. But Ma? ter _Either-? ide_ tells me, that he likes 25
Your other _Bu? ine? ? e_ better.
TAY. Which?
EIT. O' the Tooth-picks.
TAY. I neuer heard on't.
EIT. Aske M^r. _Mere-craft_.
MER. _Madame? _ H'is one, in a word, I'll tru? t his malice,
With any mans credit, I would haue abus'd!
Mere-craft _hath whi? per'd with the while_.
MAN. Sir, if you thinke you doe plea? e mee, in this, 30
You are deceiu'd!
MER. No, but becau? e my _Lady_,
Nam'd him my kin? man; I would ? atisfie you,
What I thinke of him: and pray you, vpon it
To iudge mee!
MAN. So I doe: that ill mens friend? hip,
Is as vnfaithfull, as them? elues.
TAY. Doe you heare? 35
Ha' you a _Bu? ine? ? e_ about Tooth-picks?
MER. Yes, _Madame_.
Did I ne'r tell't you? I meant to haue offer'd it
Your _Lady-? hip_, on the perfecting the pattent. [145]
TAY. How is't!
MER. For ? eruing the whole ? tate with Tooth-picks;
_The_ Proiect _for_ Tooth-picks.
(Somewhat an intricate _Bu? ine? ? e_ to di? cour? e) but-- 40
I ? hew, how much the Subiect is abus'd,
Fir? t, in that one commodity? then what di? ea? es,
And putrefactions in the gummes are bred,
By tho? e are made of adultrate, and fal? e wood?
My plot, for reformation of the? e, followes. 45
To haue all Tooth-picks, brought vnto an _office_,
There ? eal'd; and ? uch as counterfait 'hem, mulcted.
And la? t, for venting 'hem to haue a booke
Printed, to teach their v? e, which euery childe
Shall haue throughout the kingdome, that can read, 50
And learne to picke his teeth by. Which beginning
Earely to practice, with ? ome other rules,
Of neuer ? leeping with the mouth open, chawing
Some graines of _ma? ticke_, will pre? erue the breath
Pure, and ? o free from taynt--ha' what is't? ? ai? t thou?
Traines _his man whi? pers him_.
TAY. Good faith, it ? ounds a very pretty _Bus'ne? ? e_! 56
EIT. So M^r. _Either-? ide_ ? aies, _Madame_.
MER. The _Lady_ is come.
TAY. Is ? he? Good, waite vpon her in. My _Ambler_
Was neuer ? o ill ab? ent. _Either-? ide_,
How doe I looke to day? Am I not dre? t, 60
Spruntly?
_She lookes in her gla? ? e. _
EIT. Yes, verily, _Madame_.
TAY. Pox o' _Madame_, Will you not leaue that?
EIT. Yes, good _Taile-bu? h_.
TAY. So?
Sounds not that better? What vile _Fucus_ is this,
Thou ha? t got on?
EIT. 'Tis _Pearle_.
TAY. _Pearle? _ _Oy? ter-? hells_:
As I breath, _Either-side_, I know't. Here comes 65
(They say) a wonder, ? irrah, has beene in _Spaine_!
Will teach vs all; ? hee's ? ent to mee, from _Court_.
To gratulate with mee! Pr'y thee, let's ob? erue her,
What faults ? he has, that wee may laugh at 'hem,
When ? he is gone.
EIT. That we will heartily, _Tail-bu? h_. 70
Wittipol _enters_.
TAY. O, mee! the very _Infanta_ of the _Giants_!
[586] SD. om. G
[587] 1 thou 1692, f.
[588] 22 not loue] love not 1716, f.
[589] 26 O'] O, 1641
[590] 27 on't] of it G
[591] 28 Madam! [_Aside to Manly. _] G || He is G
[592] 29 SN. _with him the_ 1692, 1716, W SN. om. G
[593] 37 tell it G
[594] 39 is it G || SN. om. G
[595] 40 an] in 1641
[596] 42 disease W
[597] 44 adulterate G
[598] 53 chewing 1716, f.
[599] 55 SN. ] taint--_Enter_ TRAINS, _and whispers him_. G
[600] 58 in. [_Exit Meercraft. _] G
[601] 61 SN. ] _She_ om. G || o' ret. G
[602] 68 Prythee 1692 Prithee 1716 prithee W, G
[603] 70 SN. ] _Re-enter_ MEERCRAFT, _introducing_ WITTIPOL _dressed
as a Spanish Lady_. G
ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. IJI.
MERE-CRAFT. WITTIPOL. } to them.
Wittipol _is dre? t like a_ Spani? h Lady.
MER. Here is a noble _Lady_, _Madame_, come, [146]
From your great friends, at _Court_, to ? ee your _Ladi-? hip_:
And haue the honour of your acquaintance.
TAY. Sir.
She do's vs honour.
WIT. Pray you, ? ay to her _Ladi? hip_,
It is the manner of _Spaine_, to imbrace onely, 5
Neuer to ki? ? e. She will excu? e the cu? tome!
_Excu? es him ? elfe for not ki? ? ing. _
TAY. Your v? e of it is law. Plea? e you, ? weete, _Madame_,
To take a ? eate.
WIT. Yes, _Madame_. I'haue had
The fauour, through a world of faire report
To know your vertues, _Madame_; and in that 10
Name, haue de? ir'd the happine? ? e of pre? enting
My ? eruice to your _Ladi? hip_!
TAY. Your loue, _Madame_,
I mu? t not owne it el? e.
WIT. Both are due, _Madame_,
To your great vndertakings.
TAY. Great? In troth, _Madame_,
They are my friends, that thinke 'hem any thing: 15
If I can doe my ? exe (by 'hem) any ? eruice,
I'haue my ends, _Madame_.
WIT. And they are noble ones,
That make a multitude beholden, _Madame_:
The common-wealth of _Ladies_, mu? t acknowledge from you.
EIT. Except ? ome enuious, _Madame_.
WIT. Yo' are right in that, _Madame_, 20
Of which race, I encountred ? ome but lately.
Who ('t ? eemes) haue ? tudyed rea? ons to di? credit
Your _bu? ine? ? e_.
TAY. How, ? weet _Madame_.
WIT. Nay, the parties
Wi' not be worth your pau? e--Mo? t ruinous things, _Madame_,
That haue put off all hope of being recouer'd 25
To a degree of hand? omene? ? e.
TAY. But their rea? ons, _Madame_?
I would faine heare.
WIT. Some _Madame_, I remember.
They ? ay, that painting quite de? troyes the face--
EIT. O, that's an old one, _Madame_.
WIT. There are new ones, too.
Corrupts the breath; hath left ? o little ?
