No More Learning

Miles' Grand Dropsy Cure.
Dr. Tucker's Epilepsy Cure.
Dr. Grant's Epilepsy Cure. W. H. May's Epilepsy Cure. Dr. Kline's Epilepsy Cure.
Dr. W. O. Bye's Cancer Cure. Mason's Cancer Cure.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People, which are adver- tised to cure paralysis and are a compound of green vitriol, starch and sugar.
Purchasers of these nostrums not only waste their money, but in many cases they throw away their onlj^ chance by delaying proper treatment until it is too late.
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Properlv, a "cure" known as Bioplasm belongs in this list, but so in- genious are its methods that it deserves some special attention. In some of the New York papers a brief advertisement, reading as follows, occupies a conspicuous position.
"After suffering for ten years the torture that only an ataxic can know, Mr. E. P. Burnham, of Delmar, N. Y. , has been relieved of all pain and restored to health and strength, and the ability to resume his usual pur- suits, by an easily obtained and inexpensive treatment which any drviggist can furnish. To any fellow-sufferer who mails him a self-addressed envelope Mr. Burnham sends free this prescription which cured him. Adv.
Now, people who give away something for nothing, and spend money ad- vertising for a chance to do it, are as rare in the patent medicine business as out of it, and Delmar, N. Y. , is not included in any map of Altruria that I have learned of. E. P. Burnham, therefore, seemed worth writing to. The answer came back promptly, inclosing the prescription and explaining the advertiser's purpose:
"My only motive in the notice which caught your attention is to help other sufferers. Yoii owe me nothing. I have nothing to sell. When you are benefited, however, if yon feel disposed and able to send me a contribu- tion to assist me in making this great boon to our fellow-sufferers better known it will be thankfully received and used for that purpose. "
I fear that Mr. Burnham doesn't make much money out of grateful corre- spondents who were cured of locomotor ataxia by his prescription, because locomotor ataxia is absolutely and hopelessly incurable. Where Mr. Burn- ham gets his reward, I fancy, is from the Bioplasm Company, of 100 Will- iam street, Xew York, whose patent medicine is prescribed for me. I should like to believe that his "only motive is to help other sufferers," but as I find, on investigation, that the advertising agents who handle the "Bum- ham" account are the Bioplasm Company's agents, I am regretfully com- pelled to believe that Mr. Burnham, instead of being of the tribe of the good Samaritan, is probably an immediate relative of Ananias. The Bio- plasm Company also proposes to cure consumption, and is worthy of a conspicuous place in the Fraud's Gallery of Nostrums.
Even the skin of the Ethiop is not exempt from the attention of the quacks. A colored correspondent writes, asking that I "give a paragraph to these frauds who cater to the vanity of those of my race who insult their Creator in attempting to change their color and hair," and inclose a typical advertisement of "Lustorene," which "straightens kinky, nappy, curly hair. " and of "Lustorone Face Bleach," which "whitens the darkest skin" and will "bringtheskintoanydesiredshadeorcolor. " Nothingcouldbetterillus- trate to what ridiculous lengths the nostrum fraud will go. Of course, the Lustorone business is fraudulent. Some time since a Virginia concern, which advertised to turn negroes white, was suppressed by the Postoffice Department, which might well turn its attention to Lustorone Face Bleach.
There are being exploited in this country to-day more than 100 cures for diseasesthatareabsolutelybeyondthereachofdrugs. Theyareownedby men who know them to be swindles, and who in private conversation will almost always evade the direct statement that their nostrums will "cure" consumption, epilepsy, heart disease and ailments of that nature. Many of them "guarantee" their remedies. They will return your money if yon aren't satisfied. And they can afford to. They take the lightest of risks. The real risk is all on the other side. It is their few pennies per bottle against your life. Were the facile patter by which they lure to the bargain a menace to the pocketbook alone, one might regard them only as ordinary
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followers of light finance, might imagine them filching their gain with the confidential, half-brazen, half-ashamed leer of the thimblerigger. But the matter goes further and deeper. Every man who trades in this market, whether he pockets the profits of the maker, the Diirveyor or the advertiser, takes toll of blood. He may not deceive himself here^, for here the patent medicine is nakedest, most cold-hearted. Eelentless greed sets the trap and death is partner in the enterprise.
? REPnixTED FROM Colmek's Wekklv, Feb. 17, 1C06.
VI. --THE FUNDAMENTAL FAKES.
Advertising and testimonials are respectively the aggressive and de- fensive forces of the Great American Erand. Without the columns of the newspapers and magazines wherein to exploit themselves, a great majority of the patent medicines would peacefully and blessedly fade out of exist- ence. Nearly all the world of publications is open to the swindler, the exceptions being the high-class magazines and a very few independent spirited newspapers. The strongholds of the fraud are dailies, great and small, the cheap weeklies and the religious press. According to the esti- mate of a prominent advertising firm, above 90 per cent, of the earning capacity of the prominent nostrums is represented by their advertising. And all this advertising is based on the well-proven theory of the public's pitiable ignorance and gullibility in the vitally important matter of health.
Study the medicine advertising in your morning paper, and you will find yourself in a veritable goblin-realm of fakery, peopled with monstrous myths. Here is an amulet in the form of an electric belt, warranted to restore youth and vigor to the senile; yonder a magic ring or mysterious inhaler, or a bewitched foot-plaster which will draw the pangs of rheuma- tism from the tortuied body "or your money back;" and again some benefi- cent wizard in St. Louis promises with a secret philtre to charm away deadly cancer, while in the next column a firm of magi in Denver pro- poses confidently to exorcise the demon of incurable consumption without ever seeing the patient. Is it credible that a supposedly civilized nation should accejjt such stufip as gospel? Yet these exploitations cited above, while they are extreme, differ only in degree from nearly all patent-medicine advertising. Ponce de Leon, groping toward that dim fountain whence youth springs eternal, might believe that he had found his goal in the Peruna factory, the Liquozone '"laboratory" or the Vitse-Ore plant; his thousands of descendants in this century of enlightenment painfully drag themselves along poisoned trails, following a will-o'-the-wisp that dances above the open graves.
Newspaper Accomplices.
If there is no limit to the gullibility of the public on the one hand, there is apparently none to the cupidity of the newspapers on the other. As the Proprietary Association of America is constantly setting forth in veiled warnings, the press takes an enormous profit from patent-medicine adver- tising. Mr. Hearst's papers alone reap a harvest of more than half a million dollars per annum from this source. The Chicago Tribune, which treats nostrum adA^ertising in a spirit of independence, and sometimes with scant courtesy, still receives more than $80,000 a year in medical patronage. Manyofthelesserjournalsactuallyliveonpatentmedicines. Whatwonder that they are considerate of these profitable customers! Pin a newspaper owner down to the issue of fraud in the matter, and he will take refuge in the plea that his advertisers and not himself are repsonsible for what appears in the advertising columns. Caveat emptor is the implied super- scription above this department. The more shame to those publications
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whichprostitutetheirnewsandeditorialdepartmentstotheirgreed. Hera are two samples, one from the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, the other from a temperance weekly:
CURES CATARRH AND ASTHMA. FOREIGN SPECIALISTS GIVE REASON FOR MARVELOUS SUCCESS OF NEW REMEDY. ASCATCO.
"Vienna, September 9. --The astonishing success of the Ascatco treatment for catarrh, asthma and bronchitis is wholly attributed to its marvelous action on the mucous membranes, and having no disturbing influence on other organs of the body.
"It is claimed by European savants, from whom this remedy emanated, that five hundred drops will cure permanently even the most obstinate cases. The dose is small and pleasant to take, being only seven drops twice daily. The Austrian dispensary, 32 West Twenty-fifth Street, New^ York, N. Y. , will send a trial treatment of Ascatco free by mail to all suft'erers who have not tested the wonderful curative powers of the specific. "
THE AMERICAN ISSUE, AN ADVOCATE OF CHRISTIAN PATRIOTISM. OFFICIAL ORGAN OF THE ANTI-SALOON LEAGUE, COLUMBUS, OHIO.
? Taul said: 'Prove all things; hold fast that wdiich is good. ' Vitse-Ore has been before the American people for three decades and is still growing in popularity.
"They have proven and hold fast to it. Read about it on last page. You can test ^nd prove it without a penny risk. "
Green Goods ''Cable News. "
The "Ascatco" advertisement, which the Plain-Dealer prints as a cable- gram, without any distinguishing mark to designate it as an advertisement, of course, emanates from the office of the nostrum, and is a fraud, as the Plain-Dealer well knew when it accepted payment, and became partner to the swdndle by deceiving its readers. The Vitse-Ore "editorial" appears by virtue of a full-page advertisement of this extraordinary fake in the same issue.
Whether, because church-going people are more trusting, and therefore more easily befooled than others, or from some more obscure reason, many of the religious papers fairly reek with patent-medicine fakes. Take, for instance, the Christian Endeavor World, which is the undenominational organ of a large, powerful and useful organization, unselfishly working toward the betterment of society. A subscriber who recently complained of certain advertisements received the following reply from the business manager of the publication:
"Dear Sir: --Your letter of the 4th comes to me for reply. Appreciating the good spirit in which you write, let me assure you that, to the best of our knowledge and belief, w^e are not publishing any fraudulent or unwor- thy medicine advertising. We decline every year thousands of dollars' worth of patent-medicine advertising that we think is either fraudulent or misleading. You w-ould be surprised, very likely, if you could know of the people of high intelligence and good character who are benefited by these
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medicines. Wc haA'e taken a great deal of pains to make particular in- quiries of our subscribers with respect to this question, and a very large percentage of tliera are devoted to one or more well-known patent medi- cines, and regard them as household remedies. Trusting that you will be able to understand that we are acting according to our best and sin- ceicst judgment, I remain, yours very truly,
"The Golden Rule Company, "George W. Coleman, Business Manager. "
Running through half a dozen recent issues of the Christ-ion Endeavor World. I find nineteen medical advertisements of, at best, dubious nature. ^\ssuming that thie business management of the Christian Endeavor World rcpioscnts normal intelligence, I would like to ask whether it accepts the statement that a pair of "magic foot drafts" applied to the bottom of the feet will cure any and every kind of rheumatism in any part of the body? Further, if the advertising department is genuinely interested in declining "fraudulent or misleading" copy, I would call their attention to the ri- diculous claims of Dr. Shoop's medicines, which "cure" almost every dis- ease; to two hair removers, one an "Indian Secret," the other an "acci- dental discovery," both either fakes or dangerous; to the lying claims of Hall's Catarrh Cure, that it is "a positive cure for catarrh" in all its stage; to "Syrup of Figs," which is not a fig syrup, but a preparation of senna to Dr. Kilmers Swamp Root, of which the principal medicinal constituent is alcohol; and, finally, to Dr. Bye's Oil Cure for cancer, a particularly cruel swindle on unfortunates suft'ering from an incurable malady. All of these, with other matter, which for the sake of decency I do not care to detail in these columns, appear in recent issues of the Christian Endeavor
World, and are respectfully submitted to its management and its readers. Quackery and Religion.
The Baptist Watchman of Oct. 12, 1905, prints an editorial defending theprincipleofpatentmedicines. Itwouldbeinterestingtoknowwhether the back page of the number has any connection with the editorial. This page is given up to an illustrated advertisement of A^it^-Ore, one of the boldest fakes in the whole Frauds' Gallery. Vitse-Ore claims to be a mineral mined from "an extinct mineral spring," and to contain free iron, free sulphur and free magnesium. It contains no free iron, no free sul- phur, and no free magnesium. It announces itself as "a certain and never- failing cure" for rheumatisrii and Bright's disease, dropsy, blood poisoning, nervous prostration and general debility, among other maladies. Whether it is, as asserted, mined from an extinct spring or bucketed from a sewer, has no bearing on its utterly fraudulent character. There is no "certain and never-failing cure" for the diseases in its list, and when the Baptist
Watchman sells itself to such an exploitation it becomes partner to a swindle not only on the pockets of its readers, but on their health as well. In the same issue I find "Piso's Cure for Consumption," "Bye's Cancer Cure," "Mrs. M. Summer's Female Remedy," "Winslow's Soothing Syrup," and "Juven Pills," somewhat disguised here, but in other mediums openly a sexual weakness "remedy. "
A correspondent sends me clippings from The Christian Century, lead- ing oft" with an interesting editorial entitled "Our Advertisers," from which I quote in part:
. "We take pleasure in calling the attention of oar readers to the high grade of advertising -which The Christian Century commands. We shall continue to advertise only such companies as we know to be thoroughly reliable. Dui'ing the \^. \>? year we have refused thousands of dolbu-. -^'
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worth of advertising which other religious journals are running, but which is rated 'objectionable' by the better class of periodicals. Compare our advertising columns with the columns of any other purely religious jour- nal, and let us know what you think of the character of our advertising- patrons. "
Whether the opinion of a non-subscriber will interest The Christian Century I have no means of knowing, but I will venture it. ]\Iy opinion is that a considerable proportion of its advertisements are such as any right-minded and intelligent publisher should be ashamed to print, and that if its readers accept its indorsement of the advertising columns they
Tin: i*i:ijrNA l)i? r<>> Mam rv* ti iUN<>> ( o.
PERUNA'S WAY OF PURCHASING TESTIMONIALS.
will have a very heavy indictment to bring against it. Three ''cancer cures," a dangerous "heart cure," a charlatan eye doctor, Piso's Con- sumption Cure^ Dr. Shoop's Rheumatism Cure and Liquozone make up a pretty fair "Frauds' Gallery" for the delectation of The Christian Century's
readers.
As a convincing argument, many nostrums guarantee, not a cure, as they
would have the public believe, but a reimbursement if the medicine is un- satisfactory. Liquozone does this, and faithfully carries out its agreement. Electro-gen, a nov,- "germicide," which has stolen Liquozone's advertising- scheme almost word for word, also i)romises this. Dr. Shoop's agreement
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is so worded that the unsatisfied customer is likely to have considerable trouble in getting his money back. Other concerns send their "remedies" free on trial, among these being the ludicrous ? '? 'magic foot drafts" re- ferred to above. At first thought it would seem that only a cure would bring profit to the makers. But the fact is that most diseases tend to cure themselves by natural means, and the delighted and deluded patient, ascrib- ing the relief to the '? remedy. '" Avhich really has nothing to do with it, sends on his grateful dollar. Where the money is already paid, most people are too inert to undertake the eflfort of getting it back. It is the easj" American way of accepting a swindle as a sort of joke, which makes for the nostrum readers ready profits.
Safe Rewards,
Then there is the "reward for proof" that the proprietary will not per- form the wonders advertised. The Liquozone Company offer $1,000, I be- lieve, for any germ that Liquozone will not kill. This is a pretly safe offer, because there are no restrictions as to the manner in w^hich the unfortunate germ might be maltreated. If the matter came to an issue, the defendants might put their bacillus in the Liquozone bottle and freeze him solid. If that didn't end him, they could boil the ice and save their money, as thus far no germ has been discovered w^hich can survive the process of being made into soup. Nearly all of the Hall Catarrh Cure advertise- ments offer a reward of $100 for any case of catarrh which the nostrum fails to cure. It isn't enough, though one hundred times that amount might be worth while; for who doubts that Mr. F. J. 'heney, inventor of the "red clause," would fight for his cure through every court, exhausting the prospective $100 reward of his opponent in the first round? How^ hollow^ the "guarantee" pretence is, is shown by a clever scheme devised by Radam, the quack, years ago, when Shreveport was stricken with yellow fever. Knowing that his offer could not be accepted, he proposed to the
United States Government that he should eradicate the epidemic by de- stroying all the germs with Radam's Microbe Killer, offering to deposit $10,000 as a guarantee. Of course, the Government declined on the ground that it had no power to accept such an offer. Meantime, Radam got a lot of free advertising, and his fortune was made.
Xo little stress is laid on "personal advice" by the patent-medicine companies. This may be, according to the statements of the firm, from their physician or from some special expert. As a matter of fact, it is almost invariably furnished by a $10-a-week typewriter, following out one of a number of "form" letters prepared in bulk for the "personal-inquiry" dupes. Such is the Lydia E. Pinkham method.
The Pinkham Company writes me that it is entirely innocent of any intent to deceive people into believing that Lydia E. Pinkham is still alive, and that it has published in several cases statements regarding her demise. It is true that a number of years ago a newspaper forced the Pinkham concern into a defensive admission of Lydia E. Pinkham's death, but since then the main purpose of the Pinkham advertising has been to befool the feminine public into believing that their letters go to a woman--who died nearly twenty years ago of one of the diseases, it is said, which her remedy claims to cure.
The Immortal Mrs. Pinkham.
True, the newspaper appeal is always "Write to Mrs. Pinkham," and this
is technically a saving clause, as there is a Mrs. Pinkham, widow of the son of Lydia E. Pinkham. , What sense of shame she might be supposed to suffer in the perpetration of an obvious and public fraud is presumably
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salvedbythelargeprofitsofthebusiness. Thegreatinajorityofthegulls "uiio "write to ]Mrs. Pinkham" suppose themselves to be addressing Lydia El. Pinkham, and their letters are not even answered by the present proprietor of the name, but by a corps of hurried clerks and typewriters.
You get the same results when you write to Dr. Hartman, of Peruna, for personal guidance. Dr. Hartman himself told me that he took no active part now in the conduct of the Peruna Company. If he sees the letters addressed to him at all, it is by chance. "Dr. Kilmer," of Swamp-Root fame,wantsjoutowritetohimaboutyourkidneys. ThereisnoDr. Kil- mer in the Swamp-Eoot concern, and has not been for many years. Dr. T. A. Slocum, who writes you so earnestly and piously about taking care of your consumption in time, is a myth. The whole "personal medical advice" business is managed by rote, and the letter that you get "special to your case" has been printed and signed before your inquiry ever reached the shark who gets your money.
An increasingly common pitfall is the letter in the newspapers from some sufferer who has been saved from disease and wants you to write and get the prescription free. A conspicuous instance of this is "A Notre Dame Lady's Appeal" to sufferers from rheumatism and also from female trouble. "Mrs. Summers," of Notre Dame, 111. , whose picture in the papers represents a fat Sister of Charity, with the wan, uneasy expression of one who feels that her dinner isn't digesting properly, may be a real lady, but I suspect she AA^ears a full beard and talks in a bass voice, because my letter of in- quiry to her was answered by the patent-medicine firm of Vanderhcof & Co. , who inclosed some sample tablets and wanted to sell me more. There are many others of this class. It is safe to assume that every advertising altruist Avho pretends to give out free prescriptions is really a quack medi- cine firm in disguise.
One instance of bad faith to which the nostrum patron renders him- self liable: It is asserted that these letters of inquiry in the patent-medi- cinefieldareregardedasprivate. "Allcorrespondenceheldstrictlyprivate and sacredly confidential," advertises Dr. R. V. Pierce, of the Golden Medi- cal Discovery, etc. A Chicago firm of letter brokers offers to send me
50,000 Dr. Pierce order blanks at $2 a thousand for thirty days; or I can get terms on Ozomulsion, Theodore Noel (Vitse-Ore), Dr. Stevens' Nervous Debility Cure, Cactus Cure, women's regulators, etc.
With advertisements in the medical journals the public is concerned only indirectly, it is true, but none the less vitally. Only doctors read these exploitations, but if they accept certain of them and treat their patients on the strength of the mendacious statements it is at the peril of the patients. Take, for instance, the Antikamnia advertising which appears in most of the high-class medical journals, and which includes the following state- ments :
"Do not depress the heart. Do not produce habit.
Are acurate--safe--sure. "
These three lines, reproduced as they occur in the medical journals, con- tain five distinct and separate lies--a triumph of condensed mendacity un- equaled, so far as I know, in the "cure all" class. For an instructive paral- lel here are two claims made by Duffy's Malt Whiskey, one taken from a medical journal, and hence "ethical/' the other transcribed from a daily paper, and therefore to be condemned by all medical men.
Puzzle: Which is the ethical and which the unethical advertisement?
? PIERCEGROUP PE-RU-NAGROUP
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"It is the only cure and preventative [sic] of consumption, pneu- monia, grip, bronchitis, coughs, colds, malaria, low fevers and all wasting, weakening, diseased conditions. "
"Cures general debilitj^, overwork, la grippe, colds, bronchitis, consumption, malaria, dyspepsia, depression, exhaustion and weak- ness from whatever cause. "
All the high-class medical publications accent the advertising of "McAr- thur'sSyrupofHypophosphites,"whichusesthefollowingstatement: "It is the enthusiastic conviction of many (physicians) that its effect is truly specific. " Thatlookstomesuspiciouslylikea"consumptioncure"shrewdly expressed in pseudo-ethical terms.
The Germicide Family.
Zymoticine, if one may believe various medical publications, "will pre- vent microbe proliferation in the blood streams, and acts as an efficient eliminator of those germs and cheir toxins which are already present. " Translating this from its technical linguage, I am forced to the conviction that Zymoticine is ha]f-brother to Liquozone, and if the latter is illeoitimate at least both are children of Beelzebub, father of all frauds. Of the same family are the "ethicals" Acetozone and Keimol, as shown by their germi- cidal claims.
Again, I find exploited to the medical profession, through its own organs, a "sure cure for dropsy. " "Hygeia presents her latest discovery," declares the advertisement, and fortifies the statement with a picture worthy of Swamp-Root or Lydia Pinkham. Every intelligent physician knows that there is no sure cure for dropsy. The alternative imp-ication is that the advertiser hopes to get his profits by deluding the unintelligent of the uvo- fession, and that the publications which print his advertisement are willing to hire themselves out to the swindle.
In one respect some of the medical journals are far below the average of the newspapers, and on a par with the worst of the "religious" journals. They offer their reading space for sale. Here is an extract from a letter from the Medical Mirror to a w^ell-known "ethical firm:"
"Should you place a contract for this issue we shall publish a 300-word report in your interest in our reading columns. "
Many other magazines of this class print advertisements as original read- ing matter calculated to deceive their subscribers.
Back of all patent medicine advertising stands the testimonial. Produce proofs that any nostrum can not in its nature perforin the wonders that it boasts, and its retort is to wave aloft its careful horde of letters and cry:
''We rest on the evidence of those Ave have cured. "
The crux of the matter lies in the last word. Are the writers of those letters really cured? What is the value of these testimonials? Are they genuine? Are they honest? Are they, in their nature and from their source, entitled to such weight as would convince a reasonable mind?
Three distinct types suggest themselves: The word of grateful acknowl- edgement from a private citizen, couched in such terms as to be readily available for advertising purposes: the encomium from some person in public life, and the misspelled, illiterate epistle which is from its nature so unconvincing that it never gets into print, and which outnumbers the
other two classes a hundred to one. First of all, most nostrums make a point of the mass of evidence. Thousands of testimonials, they declare,
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just as valuable for tlieir purposes as those they print, are in their files. This is not true. I have taken for analysis, as a fair sample, the "World's Dispensary Medical Book," published by the proprietors of Pierce's Favorite Prescription, the Golden Medical Discovery, Pleasant Pellets, the Pierce Hospital, etc. As the dispensers of several nostrums, and because of their long career in the business, this firm should be able to show as large a col-
lection of favorable letters as any proprietary concern.
Overworked Testimonials.
In their book, judiciously scattered, I find twenty-six letters twice printed, four letters thrice printed, and two letters produced four times. Yet the compilers of the book "have to regret"' (editorially) that they can "find room only for this comparatively small number in this volume. " Why repeat those they have if this is true? If enthusiastic indorsements poured in on the patent medicine people, the Duffy's Malt Whiskey advertising management would hardly be driven to purchasing its letters from the very aged and from disreputable ministers of the gospel. If all the communica- tions were as convincing as those published, the Peruna Companv would not have to employ an agent to secure publishable letters, nor the Liquozone Company indorse across the face of a letter from a Mrs. Benjamin Char- teris: "Can change as we see fit. " Many, in fact I believe I may say almost alirof the newspaper-exploited testimonials are obtained at an expense to the firm. Agents are employed to secure them. This costs money. Drug- gists get a discount for forwarding letters from their customers. This costs money. Persons willing to have their picture printed get a dozen ])hotographs for themselves. This costs money. Letters of inquiry answered by givers of testimonials bring a price--2. 5 cents per letter, usually. Here is a document sent out periodically by the Peruna Company to keep in line its "unsolicited" beneficiaries:
"As you are aware, we have your testimonial to our remedy. It has been some time since we have heard from you, and so we thought best to make inquiry as to your present state of health and whether you still occa- sionally make use of Peruna. We also want to make sure that we have your present street address correctly, and that you are making favorable answers to such letters of inquiry Avhich your testimonial may occasion. Rememberthatweallow25centsforeachletterofinquiry. Youhaveonly to send the letter you receive, together w^ith a copy of your reply to the same, and we will forward you 25 cents for each pair of letters.
"We hope you are still a friend of Peruna and that our continued use of your testimonial will be agreable to you. We are inclosing stamped en- velope for reply. Very sincerely yours,
"The Peru:n"a Drug Manufacturing Company. "Per Carr. "
And here is an account of another typical method of collecting this sort of material, the writer being a young Xew Orleans man, who answered an advertisement in a local paper, ofl'ering profitable special work to a news- paper man with spare time:
"I found the advertiser to be a woman, the coarseness of whose features was only equaled by the vulgarity of her manners and speech, and whose self-assertiveness was in' proportion to her bulk. She proposed that I set about securing testimonials to the excellent qualities of Peruna, which she pronounced 'Pay-Runa,' for which I was to receive a fee of $5 to $10, accord- ing to the prominence of 'the guy' from whom I obtained it. This I declined
? fHE MEBICSL MteBOB.
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flatly. She then inquired whether or not I was a member of any social organizations or clubs in the city, and receiving a positive answer she offered me $3 for a testimonial, including the statement that Pay-Runa had been used by the members of the Southern Athletic Club with good effects, and raised it to $5 before I left.
"'This female exhibited to me what purported to be a letter of introduc- tion from ex-Governor Hogg, of Texas, 'To whom it may concern,' and
'"jITr"^--
MEDICAL JOURNALISTIC ETHICS.
A frank proposition to sell a nostrum favorable editorial mention.
among other interesting documents sheets of letterpaper signed in blank by happy users of Pay-Runa, which she was to fill out to suit herself.
No Questions Desired.
'? Upon my asking her what her business was before she undertook the Pay-Euna work, she became very angry. Now, when a female is both very large and very angry, the i^est thing for a small, thin young man to do is toleavehertoherthoughtsandtheexpressionthereof. Ididit. "
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? Tostlnionials obtainod in tliis way are, in a sonso, opimine; that is, the nostrum firm has documentary eAidence that they were oiven; but it is hardly necessary to state that they are not honest. Often the handling of the material is very careless, as in the case of Doan's Kidney Pills, which ran an advertisement in a Southern city embodying a letter from a resident ofthatcitywhohadbeendeadnearlyayear. Causeofdeath,kidneydis- ease.
In a former article I have touched on the matter of testimonials from public men. These are ol)tained through sjDecial agents, through hangers- on of the newspaper business who wheedle them out of congressmen or senators, and sometimes through agencies which make a specialty of that business. A certain Washington firm made a "blanket offer"' to a nostnnn company of a $100 joblot of testimonials, consisting of one De Wolf Hopper, one Sarah Bernhardt, and six '? statesmen," one of them a United States senator. Whether they had ]Mr. Hopper and ]Mme. Bernhardt under agree- ment or were simply dealing in futures I am unable to say, but the offer was made in business-like fashion. And the "divine Sarah"' at least seems to be an easy subject for patent medicines, as her letters to them are by no means rare. Congressmen are notoriously easy to get, and senators are by no means beyond range. There are several men now" in the United States Senate who have, at one time or another, prostituted their names to the uses of fraud medicines, which they do not use and of which they know nothing. Naval officers seem to be easy marks. Within a fcAv weeks a re- tired admiral of our navy has besmirched himself and his service by acting as pictorial sales agent for Peruna. If one carefully considers the "testi- monials" of this class it will appear that few- of the writers state that they haveevertriedthenostrum. Wemayputdownthe"publicman's"indorse- ment, then, as genuine (documentarily), but not honest. Certainly it can bear no weight with an intelligent reader.
Almost as eagerly sought for as this class of letter is the medical indorse- ment. ]Medical testimony exploiting any medicine advertised in the lay press withers under investigation. In the Liquozone article of 'this series I showed how medical evidence is itself "doctored. " This was an extreme in- stance, for Liquozone, under its original administration, exhibited less con- science in its methods than any of its competitors that I have encountered. Where the testimony itself is not distorted, it is obtained under false pre- tences or it comes from men of no standing in the profession. Some time ago Duffy's Malt Whiskey sent out an agent to get testimonials from hos- pitals. He got them. How he got them is told in a letter from the physi- cian in charge of a prominent Pennsylvania institution
"A very nice appearing man called here one day and sent in his card, bearing the name of Dr. Blank (I can't recall the name, but wish I could), a graduate of Vermont University. He was as smooth an article as I have even been up against, and I have met a good many. He at once got down to business and began to talk of the hospitals he had visited, mentioning physicians Avhom I knew either personally or by reputation. He then brought out a lot of documents for me to peruse, all of w^hich were bona fide affairs, from the various institutions, signed by the various physicians or resident physicians, setting forth the merits or use of 'Duffy's Malt Whis- key, He asked if I had ever used it. I said yes, but very little, and was atthetimeusingsome,afact,asIwassamplingwhathehandedme. He then placed about a dozen small bottles, holding possibly two ounces, on tlte table, and said I should keep it, and he wouM send me two quarts free for use here as soon as he got back.
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Getting a Testimonial from a Physician.
"He next asked me if I would give him a testimonial regarding Duffy's Whiskey. I said I did not do such things, as it was against my principles to do so. 'But this is not for publication/ he said. I replied that I had used but little of it, and found it only the same as any other whisky. He then asked if I was satisfied with the results as far as I had used it. I re- plied that I was. He then asked me to state that much, and I very fool- ishly said I would, on condition that it was not to be used as an advertise- ment,andheassuredmeitwouldnotbeused. Ithen,inafewwords,said that '1 (or we) li^ve used and are using Duffy's Malt Whiskey, and are satisfied with the results,' signing my name to the same. He left here, and what was my surprise to receive later on a booklet in which was my testi- monial and many others, with cuts of hospitals ranging along with people who had reached 100 years by use of the Avhiskey, while seemingly all ail- ments save ringbone and spavin Avere being cured by this Avonderful bev- erage. I was provoked, but Avas paid as I deserA^ed for alloAving a smooth tongue to deceiA^e me. Duffy's Malt Whiskey has never been inside this place since that day and neA'er Avill be AA^hile I ha\"e any A^oice to pre- A-ent it. The total amount used at the time and before was less than half
a gallon. "
This hospital is still used as a reference by the Duffy people.
Many of the ordinary testimonials AA'hich come unsolicited to the ex- tensively advertised nostrums in great numbers are both genuine and honest. What of their A^alue as evidence?
Some years ago, so goes a story familiar in the drug trade, the general agent for a large jobbing house declared that he could put out an article possessing not the slightest remedial or stimulant properties, and by adver- tising it skillfully so persuade people of its virtues that it would receive unlimited testimonials to the cure of any disease for AA^hich he might choose to exploit it. Challenged to a bet, he became a proprietary owner. W^ithin a year he had aa'ou his wager Avith a collection of certified "cures" ranging from anemia to pneumonia. MoreoA^er, he found his A^enture so profitable that he pushed it to the extent of thousands of dollars of profits. His "remedy"Avasnothingbutsugar. IliaA^eheard"Kaskine"mentionedasthe "cure" in the case. It ansAvers the requirements, or did ansAA^er them at that time, according to an analysis by the Massachusetts State Board of Health, which shoAvs that its purchasers had been paying $1 an ounce for pure granulated sugar. Whether "Kaskine" Avas indeed the subject of this picturesque bet, or whether it Avas some other harmless fraud, is immaterial to the point, Avhich is that AA^here the disease cures itself, as nearly all dis- eases do, the medicine gets the benefit of this viw medicatrix naturce--the natural correctiA^e force AAdiich makes for normal health in eA^ery human organism. Obviously, the sugar testimonials can not be regarded as very Aveighty eA'idence.
Testimonials for a Magic Ring.
There is being adA^ertised now a finger ring whieh by the mere Avearing cures any form of rheumatism. The maker of that ring has genuine letters from people Avho believe that they haA^e been cured by it. Would any one other than a believer in Avitchcraft accept those statements? Yet they are just as "genuine" as the bulk of patent medicine letters and Avritten in as good faith. A very small proportion of the gratuitous indorsements get into the newspapers, because, as I have said, they do not lend themseh^es
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well to advertising purposes. I have looked over the originals of hun- dreds of such letters, and more than 90 per cent, of them--that is a very- conservative estimate--are from illiterate and obviously ignorant people. Even those few that can be used are rendered suitable for publication only by careful editing. The geographical distribution is suggestive. Out of 100 specimens selected at random from the Pierce testimonial book, eighty- seven are from small, remote hamlets, whose very names are unfamiliar to the average man of intelligence. Only five are from cities of more than 50,000 inhabitants. Now, Garden City, Kas. ; North Yamhill, Ore. ; Ther- esa, Jefferson County N. Y.