_ The
allusion
is to Domitian and his niece Julia, who died
from the use of abortives (cf.
from the use of abortives (cf.
Satires
Ov.
, Met.
,
vi. , 97.
[73] _Ordine rerum. _ Cf. Mart. , iv. , Ep. 8. The _Forum_ is the old
Forum Romanum.
[74] _Apollo_, i. e. , the Forum Augusti on the Palatine Hill. In the
court where pleas were held stood an ivory statue of Apollo. Cf. Hor. ,
i. , Sat. ix. , 78.
[75] "And none must venture to pollute the place. " Hodgson. Tantum, i.
e. , tantummodo. Cf. Pers. , i. Sat. , 114, Sacer est locus, ite profani,
Extra meiete!
[76] To all these places the client attends his patron; then, on his
return, the rich man's door is closed, and he is at liberty to return
home, without any invitation to remain to dinner.
"The day's attendance closed, and evening come,
The uninvited client hies him home. " Badham.
[77] _Nova. _ "By witty spleen increased. " Gifford.
[78]
"Friends, unenrich'd, shall revel o'er your bier,
Tell the sad news, nor grace it with a tear. " Hodgson.
[79] _Tædâ. _ Cf. viii. , 235, "Ausi quod libeat tunica punire molestâ. "
Tac. , Ann. , xv. , 44, "Aut crucibus adfixi, aut flammandi, atque ubi
defecisset dies, in usum nocturni luminis urerentur. " Sen. , de Ira,
iii. , 3, "Circumdati defixis corporibus ignes. "
[80] _Qui dedit_, i. e. , Tigellinus.
[81] _Committas_, a metaphor from pairing or matching gladiators in the
arena.
"Achilles may in epic verse be slain,
And none of all his myrmidons complain;
Hylas may drop his pitcher, none will cry,
Not if he drown himself for company. " Dryden.
[82] _Flaminiâ. _ The laws of the xii. tables forbade all burials within
the city. The road-sides, therefore, were lined with tombs. Hence the
common beginning of epitaphs, "Siste gradum viator. " The peculiar
propriety of the selection of these two roads is the fact that Domitian
was buried by the Flaminian, and Paris, the mime, Juvenal's personal
enemy, by the Latin road.
SATIRE II.
I long to escape from hence beyond the Sarmatians, and the frozen
sea, whenever those fellows who pretend to be Curii and live like
Bacchanals presume to read a lecture on morality. First of all, they
are utterly unlearned, though you may find all their quarters full of
busts of Chrysippus. For the most finished scholar among them is he
that has bought an image of Aristotle or Pittacus, or bids his shelves
retain originals of Cleanthes. There is no trusting to the outside!
For what street is there that does not overflow with debauchees of
demure exterior? Dost thou reprove abominations, that art thyself the
most notorious sink among catamites who pretend to follow Socrates?
Thy rough limbs indeed, and the stiff bristles on thy arms, seem to
promise a vigorous mind within; but on thy smooth behind, the surgeon
with a smile lances the swelling piles. These fellows affect a paucity
of words, and a wonderful taciturnity, and the fashion of cutting their
hair shorter than their eyebrows. There is therefore more frankness and
sincerity in Peribomius; the man that by his very look and gait makes
no secret of his depravity, I look upon as the victim of destiny. The
plain-dealing of the latter class excites our pity; their very madness
pleads for our forgiveness. Far worse are they who in Hercules' vein
practice similar atrocities, and preaching up virtue, perpetrate the
foulest vice. "Shall I feel any dread for thee, Sextus, unnatural
thyself? " says the infamous Varillus. "How am I worse than thou? Let
the straight-limbed, if you please, mock the bandy-legged; the fair
European sneer at the Ethiop. But who could tolerate the Gracchi if
they railed at sedition? Who would not confound heaven with earth, and
sea with sky,[83] if a thief were odious to Verres, or a murderer to
Milo? If Clodius were to impeach adulterers, or Catiline Cethegus? If
Sylla's three pupils were to declaim against Sylla's proscriptions?
Such was the case of the adulterer recently[84] defiled by incest, such
as might be found in Greek tragedy, who then set himself to revive
those bitter laws which all might tremble at, ay, even Venus and Mars,
at the same time that Julia was relieving her fruitful womb by so
many abortives,[85] and gave birth to shapeless masses, the image of
her uncle! Might not then, with all reason and justice, even the very
worst of vices look with contempt on these counterfeit Scauri, and if
censured turn and bite again? "
Lauronia could not endure some fierce reformer of this class so often
exclaiming, "Where is now the Julian law? is it slumbering? " and thus
silenced him with a sneer: "Blest days indeed! that set thee up as a
censor of morals! Rome now must needs retrieve her honor! A third Cato
has dropped from the clouds. But tell me, pray, where do you buy these
perfumes that exhale from your neck, all hairy though it be! Do not be
ashamed to tell the shopman's name. But if old laws and statutes are to
be raked up,[86] before all others the Scatinian ought to be revived.
First scrutinize and look into the conduct of the men. They commit
the greater atrocities; but it is their number protects them, and
their phalanxes close serried with their shields. There is a wonderful
unanimity among these effeminates. You will not find one single
instance of such execrable conduct in our sex. [87] Tædia does not
caress Cluvia, nor Flora Catulla. Hispo acts both sex's parts, and is
pale with two-handed lust. Do _we_ ever plead causes? Do we study civil
law? or disturb your courts with any clamor of our tongues? A few of
us perhaps may wrestle, or diet themselves on the trainer's food; but
only a few. You men, you spin wool, and carry home in women's baskets
your finished tasks. You men twist the spindle big with its fine-drawn
thread more deftly than Penelope, more nimbly than Arachne; work, such
as the dirty drab does that sits crouching on her log. Every one
knows why Hister at his death made his freedman his sole heir, while,
when alive, he gave his maiden wife[88] so many presents. She will be
rich without a doubt, who will submit to lie third in the wide bed.
Get married then, and hold your tongue, and earrings[89] will be the
guerdon of your silence! And after all this, forsooth, a heavy sentence
is to be passed on us women! Censure acquits the raven, but falls foul
of the dove! "
From this rebuke so true and undeniable, the counterfeit Stoics
recoiled in confusion, For what grain of untruth was there in
Lauronia's words? Yet, what will not others do, when thou, Creticus,
adoptest muslin robes, and to the amazement of the people, inveighest
in such a dress against Procula or Pollinea?
Fabulla, thou sayest, is an adulteress. Then let her be condemned, if
you will have it so, and Carfinia also. Yet though condemned, she would
not put on such a dress as that. "But it is July, it is raging hot, I
am on fire! " Then plead stark naked! [90] To be thought mad would be a
less disgrace! Is that a dress to propound laws and statutes in, in
the ears of the people when flushed with victory, with their wounds
yet green, or that noble race, fresh from their plows? What an outcry
would you make, if you saw such a dress on the person of a Judex! I
ask, would such a robe be suitable even in a witness? Creticus! the
implacable, the indomitable, the champion of liberty, is transparent!
Contagion has caused this plague-spot, and will extend it to many more,
just as a whole flock perishes, in the fields from the scab of one
sheep, or pigs from mange, and the grape contracts the taint from the
grape it comes in contact with. Ere long you will venture on something
more disgraceful even than this dress. No one ever reached the climax
of vice at one step. You will by degrees enter the band of those who
wear at home long fillets round their brows, and cover their necks with
jewels, and propitiate Bona Dea with the belly of a young sow and a
huge bowl of wine; but by an inversion of the old custom _women_, kept
far aloof, dare not cross the threshold. The altar of the goddess
is accessible to males alone. "Withdraw, profane females! " is the
cry. No minstrel here may make her cornet sound! Such were the orgies
by the secret torch-light which the Baptæ celebrated, who used to
weary out even the Athenian Cotytto. [91] One with needle held oblique
adds length to his eyebrows touched with moistened soot, and raising
the lids paints his quivering eyes. Another drains a Priapus-shaped
glass, and confines his long thick hair with a caul of gold thread,
clothed in sky-blue checks, or close-piled yellow stuffs; while his
attendant also swears by Juno, the patron deity of his master. Another
holds a mirror, the weapon wielded by the pathic Otho, "the spoil of
Auruncan Actor,"[92] in which he surveyed himself when fully armed,
before he gave the signal to engage--a thing worthy to be recorded in
the latest annals and history of the day. A mirror! fit baggage for
a civil war! O yes, forsooth! to kill old Galba shows the consummate
general, to pamper one's complexion is the consistent occupation of
the first citizen of Rome; to aspire to the empire as the prize on
Bebriacum's[93] plains, and then spread over his face a poultice
applied with his fingers! Such an act as neither the quivered Semiramis
perpetrated in the Assyrian realms, or Cleopatra flying dejected in her
Actian galley. Among this crew there is neither decency of language,
nor respect for the proprieties of the table. Here is the foul license
that Cybele enjoins, the lisping speech, the aged priest with hoary
hair, like one possessed, a prodigy of boundless appetite, open to
hire. Yet why do they delay? since long ago they ought after the
Phrygian custom to have removed with their knives the superfluous flesh.
Gracchus[94] gave four hundred sestertia as his dowry, with himself,
to a bugler, or else one that blew the straight trumpet. The marriage
deeds were duly signed, the blessing invoked, a great dinner provided,
the he-bride lay in the bridegroom's arms. O nobles! is it a censor
we need, or an aruspex? You would without doubt be horrified, and deem
it a prodigy of portentous import, if a woman gave birth to a calf, or
a cow to a lamb. The same Gracchus puts on flounces, the long robe and
flame-colored[95] veil, who, when bearing the sacred shields swinging
with mysterious thong, sweated beneath the Ancilia! Oh! father of
our city! whence came such heinous guilt to the shepherds of Latium?
Whence, O Gradivus, came this unnatural lust that has tainted thy race?
See! a man illustrious in birth and rank is made over to a man! Dost
thou neither shake thy helmet, nor smite the earth with thy lance? Dost
thou not even appeal to thy father Jove? Begone then! and quit the
acres of the Campus once so severe, which thou ceasest to care for!
"I have some duty-work to perform to-morrow at break of day in the
Quirinal valley. " "What is the occasion? " "Why ask? my friend is going
to be married; only a few are invited! " If we only live to see it,
these things will be done in the broad light of day, and claim to be
registered in the public acts. Meanwhile, there is one grievous source
of pain that clings to these male-brides, that they are incapable
of bearing, and retaining their lords' affections by bringing them
children. No! better is it that nature in this case gives their minds
no power over their bodies! They must die barren! Vain, in their case,
is fat Lyde with her medicated box; vain the holding out their hands to
the nimble Luperci.
Yet even this prodigy of crime is surpassed by the trident of Gracchus
in his gladiator's tunic,[96] when in full flight he traverses the
middle of the arena. Gracchus! more nobly born than the Manlii, and
Marcelli, and Catulus' and Paulus' race, and the Fabii, and all the
spectators in the front row. Ay, even though you add to these the very
man himself, at whose expense he cast his net as Retiarius.
That there are departed spirits, and realms beneath the earth--that
Charon's pole exists, and the foul frogs in the Stygian whirlpool--and
that so many thousand souls cross its waters in a single bark, not
even boys believe, save those as yet too young to be charged for their
bath. [97] But do thou believe them true! What does Curius feel, and
the two Scipios, what Fabricius and the shades of Camillus, what the
legion cut off at Cremera, and the flower of Roman youth slaughtered
at Cannæ--so many martial spirits--what do they feel when such a shade
as this passes from us to them? They would long to be cleansed from
the pollution of the contact, could any sulphur and pine-torches be
supplied to them, or could there be a bay-tree to sprinkle them with
water.
To such a pitch of degradation are we come! [98] We have, indeed,
advanced our arms beyond Juverna's shore, and the Orcades[99] recently
subdued, and the Britons content with night contracted to its briefest
span. But those abominations which are committed in the victorious
people's city are unknown to those barbarians whom we have conquered.
"Yet there _is_ a story told of one, an Armenian Zalates, who, more
effeminate than the rest of his young countrymen, is reported to have
yielded to the tribune's lust. " See the result of intercourse with
Rome! He came a hostage! Here they learn to be _men_! For if a longer
tarry in the city be granted to these youths, they will never lack a
lover. Their plaids, and knives, and bits, and whips, will soon be
discarded. Thus it is the vices of our young nobles are aped even at
Artaxata. [100]
FOOTNOTES:
[83] Alluding to the comic exclamation, "O Cœlum, O Terra, O Maria
Neptuni. " Vid. Ter. , Adelph. , v. , i. , 4. Cf. Sat. vi. , 283.
[84] _Nuper.
_ The allusion is to Domitian and his niece Julia, who died
from the use of abortives (cf. Plin. , iv. , Epist. xi. : "Vidua abortu
periit"), cir. A. D. 91. This, therefore, fixes the date of the Satire,
which was probably one of Juvenal's earliest, and written when he was
about thirty. Cf. Sat. xiii. , 17.
[85] Cf. vi. , 368.
[86] _Vexantur. _ E somno excitantur, alluding to "Lex Julia Dormis? "
Cf. i. , 126.
[87] The whole of this ironical defense contains the bitterest satire
upon the women of Rome, as all these crimes he proves in the 6th Satire
to be of every-day occurrence.
[88] _Puellæ. _ Cf. Sat. ix. , 70, _seq. _
[89] _Cylindros_, called, vi. , 459, "Elenchos. " Cf. Arist. , Fr. , 300,
ἑλικτῆρες.
[90] _Nudus_, i. e. , in the Roman sense, without the toga.
[91] _Cotytto_ herself, the goddess of licentiousness, was wearied with
their impurities.
[92] _Actoris. _ Æn. , xii. , 94.
[93] _Bebriacum_, between Verona and Cremona, where the deciding battle
was fought between Otho and Vitellius.
[94] _Gracchus. _ In the same manner Nero was married to one Pythagoras,
"in modum solennium conjugiorum denupsisset. " Tac. , Ann. , xv. , 37. He
repeated the same act with Sporus.
[95] _Flammea. _ Vid. Tac. , u. s. "Inditum imperatori flammeum, visi
auspices, dos, et genialis torus et faces nuptiales: cuncta denique
spectata, quæ etiam in feminâ nox operit. "
[96] _Tunicati. _ Vid. Sat. vi. , 256; viii. , 203. Movet ecce tridentem.
Credamus tunicæ, etc.
[97] _Nondum ære lavantur. _ The fee was a quadrans: vi. , 447.
[98] _Traducimur. _ Cf. viii. , 17. Squalentes traducit avos.
[99] _Modo captas Orcadas. _ A. D. 78, Clinton, F. R. "Insulas quas
Orcadas vocant, invenit domuitque. " Tac. , Agric. , c. x. ; cf. c.
xii. "Dierum spatia ultra nostri orbis mensuram: _nox_ clara, et
extremâ Britanniæ parte _brevis_, ut finem atque initium lucis exiguo
discrimine internoscas. "
[100] _Referunt. _ Cf. i. , 41. "Multum _referens_ de Mæcenate supino. "
The fashion is not only _carried_ back to Armenia, but _copied_ there.
_Prætextatus. _ Cf. i. , 78. _Artaxata_, the capital of Armenia, was
taken by Corbulo, A. D. 58.
SATIRE III.
Although troubled at the departure of my old friend, yet I can not but
commend his intention of fixing his abode at Cumæ, now desolate, and
giving the Sibyl one citizen at least. It is the high road to Baiæ, and
has a pleasant shore; a delightful retreat. I prefer even Prochyta[101]
to the Suburra. For what have we ever looked on so wretched or so
lonely, that you would not deem it worse to be in constant dread of
fires, the perpetual falling-in of houses, and the thousand dangers of
the cruel city,[102] and poets spouting in the month of August. [103]
But while his whole household is being stowed in a single wagon, my
friend Umbritius halted at the ancient triumphal arches[104] and the
moist Capena. Here, where Numa used to make assignations with his
nocturnal mistress, the grove of the once-hallowed fountain and the
temples are in our days let out to Jews, whose whole furniture is a
basket and bundle of hay. [105] For every single tree is bid to pay a
rent to the people, and the Camenæ having been ejected, the wood is
one mass of beggars. We descended into the valley of Egeria and the
grottoes, so altered from what nature made them. How much more should
we feel the influence of the presiding genius of the spring,[106]
if turf inclosed the waters with its margin of green, and no marble
profaned the native tufo. Here then Umbritius began:[107]
"Since at Rome there is no place for honest pursuits, no profit to be
got by honest toil--my fortune is less to-day than it was yesterday,
and to-morrow must again make that little less--we purpose emigrating
to the spot where Dædalus put off his wearied wings, while my gray
hairs are still but few, my old age green and erect; while something
yet remains for Lachesis to spin, and I can bear myself on my own legs,
without a staff to support my right hand. Let us leave our native land.
There let Arturius and Catulus live. Let those continue in it who turn
black to white; for whom it is an easy matter to get contracts for
building temples, clearing rivers, constructing harbors,[108] cleansing
the sewers, the furnishing a funeral,[109] and under the mistress-spear
set up the slave to sale. "[110]
These fellows, who in former days were horn-blowers, and constant
attendants on the municipal amphitheatres, and whose puffed cheeks were
well known through all the towns, now themselves exhibit gladiatorial
shows, and when the thumbs of the rabble are turned up, let any man be
killed to court the mob. Returned from thence, they farm the public
jakes.
And why not every thing? Since these are the men whom Fortune, whenever
she is in a sportive mood, raises from the dust to the highest pinnacle
of greatness. [111]
What shall _I_ do at Rome? I can not lie; if a book is bad, I can
not praise it and beg a copy. I know not the motions of the stars. I
neither will nor can promise a man to secure his father's death. I
never inspected the entrails of a toad. [112]
Let others understand how to bear to a bride the messages and presents
of the adulterer; no one shall be a thief by my co-operation; and
therefore I go forth, a companion to no man,[113] as though I were
crippled, and a trunk useless from its right hand being disabled. [114]
Who, now-a-days, is beloved except the confidant of crime, and he whose
raging mind[115] is boiling with things concealed, and that must never
be divulged? He that has made you the partaker of an honest secret,
thinks that he owes you nothing, and nothing will he ever pay. He will
be Verres' dear friend, who can accuse Verres at any time he pleases.
Yet set not thou so high a price on all the sands of shady Tagus,[116]
and the gold rolled down to the sea, as to lose your sleep, and to your
sorrow take bribes that ought to be spurned,[117] and be always dreaded
by your powerful friend.
What class of men is now most welcome to our rich men, and whom I would
especially shun, I will soon tell you; nor shall shame prevent me. [118]
It is that the city is become Greek, Quirites, that I can not tolerate;
and yet how small the proportion even of the dregs of Greece! Syrian
Orontes has long since flowed into the Tiber, and brought with it its
language, morals, and the crooked harps with the flute-player, and its
national tambourines, and girls made to stand for hire at the Circus.
Go thither, ye who fancy a barbarian harlot with embroidered turban.
That rustic of thine, Quirinus, takes his Greek supper-cloak, and wears
Greek prizes on his neck besmeared with Ceroma. [119] One forsaking
steep Sicyon, another Amydon, a third from Andros, another from Samos,
another again from Tralles, or Alabanda,[120] swarm to Esquiliæ, and
the hill called from its osiers, destined to be the very vitals, and
future lords of great houses. [121] These have a quick wit, desperate
impudence, a ready speech, more rapidly fluent even than Isæus. [122]
Tell me what you fancy he is? He has brought with him whatever
character you wish--grammarian, rhetorician, geometer, painter,
trainer,[123] soothsayer, rope-dancer, physician, wizard--he knows
every thing. Bid the hungry Greekling go to heaven! He'll go. [124] In
short, it was neither Moor, nor Sarmatian, nor Thracian, that took
wings, but one born in the heart of Athens. [125] Shall I not shun these
men's purple robes? Shall this fellow take precedence of me in signing
his name, and recline pillowed on a more honorable couch than I, though
imported to Rome by the same wind that brought the plums and figs? [126]
Does it then go so utterly for nothing, that my infancy inhaled the
air of Aventine, nourished on the Sabine berry? Why add that this
nation, most deeply versed in flattery, praises the conversation of
an ignorant, the face of a hideously ugly friend, and compares some
weak fellow's crane-like neck to the brawny shoulders of Hercules,
holding Antæus far from his mother Earth: and is in raptures at the
squeaking voice,[127] not a whit superior in sound to that of the
cock as he bites the hen. We may, it is true, praise the same things,
if we choose. But _they_ are believed. Can he be reckoned a better
actor,[128] when he takes the part of Thais, or acts the wife in the
play, or Doris[129] without her robe. It is surely a woman in reality
that seems to speak, and not a man personifying one. You would swear
it was a woman, perfect in all respects. In their country, neither
Antiochus, nor Stratocles, or Demetrius and the effeminate Hæmus, would
call forth admiration. For there every man's an actor. Do you smile? He
is convulsed with a laugh far more hearty. If he spies a tear in his
friend's eye, he bursts into a flood of weeping; though in reality he
feels no grief. If at the winter solstice you ask for a little fire, he
calls for his thick coat. If you say, I am hot! he breaks into a sweat.
Therefore we are not fairly matched; he has the best of it, who can at
any time, either by night or day, assume a fictitious face; kiss his
hands in ecstasy, quite ready, to praise his patron's grossest acts; if
the golden cup has emitted a sound, when its bottom is inverted.
Besides, there is nothing that is held sacred by these fellows, or
that is safe from their lust. Neither the mistress of the house, nor
your virgin daughter, nor her suitor, unbearded as yet, nor your son,
heretofore chaste. If none of these are to be found, he assails his
friend's grandmother. They aim at learning the secrets of the house,
and from that knowledge be feared.
And since we have begun to make mention of the Greeks, pass on to their
schools of philosophy, and hear the foul crime of the more dignified
cloak. [130] It was a Stoic that killed Bareas--the informer, his
personal friend--the old man, his own pupil--bred on that shore[131]
on which the pinion of the Gorgonean horse lighted. There is no room
for any Roman here, where some Protogenes, or Diphilus, or Erimanthus
reigns supreme; who, with the common vice of his race, never shares
a friend, but engrosses him entirely to himself. For when he has
infused into his patron's too ready ear one little drop of the venom
of his nature and his country, I am ejected from the door; all my
long-protracted service goes for naught. Nowhere is the loss of a
client of less account. Besides (not to flatter ourselves) what service
can the _poor man_ render, what merit can _he_ plead, even though he be
zealous enough to hasten in his toga[132] before break of day, when the
very _prætor_ himself urges on his lictor, and bids him hurry on with
headlong speed, since the childless matrons have been long awake, lest
his colleague[133] be beforehand with him in paying his respects to
Albina and Modia. Here, by the side of a slave, if only rich, walks the
son of the free-born;[134] for the other gives to Calvina, or Catiena
(that he may enjoy her once or twice), as much as the tribunes in the
legion receive;[135] whereas you, when the face of a well-dressed
harlot takes your fancy, hesitate to hand Chione from her exalted seat.
Produce me at Rome a witness of as blameless integrity as the host
of the Idæan deity;[136] let Numa stand forth, or he that rescued
Minerva when in jeopardy from her temple all in flames: the question
first put would be as to his income, that about his moral character
would come last of all. "How many slaves does he keep? How many acres
of public land does he occupy? [137] With how many and what expensive
dishes is his table spread? " In exact proportion to the sum of money
a man keeps in his chest, is the credit given to his oath. Though
you were to swear by all the altars of the Samothracian and our own
gods, the poor man is believed to despise the thunderbolts and the
gods, even with the sanction of the gods themselves. Why add that this
same poor man furnishes material and grounds for ridicule to all, if
his cloak is dirty and torn, if his toga is a little soiled, and one
shoe gapes with its upper leather burst; or if more than one patch
displays the coarse fresh darning thread, where a rent has been sewn
up. Poverty, bitter though it be, has no sharper pang than this, that
it makes men ridiculous. "Let him retire, if he has any shame left,
and quit the cushions of the knights, that has not the income required
by the law, and let these seats be taken by"--the sons of pimps,
in whatever brothel born! [138] Here let the son of the sleek crier
applaud among the spruce youths of the gladiator, and the scions of
the fencing-school. Such is the will of the vain Otho, who made the
distinction between us.
Who was ever allowed at Rome to become a son-in-law if his estate was
inferior, and not a match for the portion of the young lady? [139]
What _poor_ man's name appears in any will? When is he summoned to
a consultation even by an ædile? All Quirites that are poor, ought
long ago to have emigrated in a body. [140] Difficult indeed is it for
those to emerge from obscurity whose noble qualities are cramped by
narrow means at home; but at Rome, for men like these, the attempt is
still more hopeless; it is only at an exorbitant price they can get
a wretched lodging, keep for their servants, and a frugal meal. [141]
A man is ashamed here to dine off pottery ware,[142] which, were
he suddenly transported to the Marsi and a Sabine board, contented
there with a coarse bowl of blue earthenware, he would no longer
deem discreditable. There is a large portion of Italy (if we allow
the fact), where no one puts on the toga, except the dead. [143] Even
when the very majesty of festival days is celebrated in a theatre
reared of turf,[144] and the well-known farce at length returns to the
stage,[145] when the rustic infant on its mother's lap is terrified at
the wide mouth of the ghastly mask, _there_ you will see all costumes
equal and alike, both orchestra and common people. White tunics are
quite sufficient as the robe of distinction for the highest personages
there, even the very ædiles. Here, in Rome, the splendor of dress is
carried beyond men's means; here, something more than is enough, is
taken occasionally from another's chest. In this fault all participate.
Here we all live with a poverty that apes our betters. Why should I
detain you? Every thing at Rome is coupled with high price. What have
you to give, that you may occasionally pay your respects to Cossus?
that Veiento may give you a passing glance, though without deigning to
open his mouth? One shaves the beard, another deposits the hair of a
favorite; the house is full of venal cakes. [146] Now learn this fact,
and keep it to work within your breast. We clients are forced to pay
tribute and increase the private income of these pampered slaves.
Who dreads, or ever did dread, the falling of a house at cool
Præneste, or at Volsinii seated among the well-wooded hills, or simple
Gabii,[147] or the heights of sloping Tibur. We, in Rome, inhabit a
city propped in great measure on a slender shore. [148] For so the
steward props up the falling walls,[149] and when he has plastered over
the old and gaping crack, bids us sleep without sense of danger while
ruin hangs over our heads!
vi. , 97.
[73] _Ordine rerum. _ Cf. Mart. , iv. , Ep. 8. The _Forum_ is the old
Forum Romanum.
[74] _Apollo_, i. e. , the Forum Augusti on the Palatine Hill. In the
court where pleas were held stood an ivory statue of Apollo. Cf. Hor. ,
i. , Sat. ix. , 78.
[75] "And none must venture to pollute the place. " Hodgson. Tantum, i.
e. , tantummodo. Cf. Pers. , i. Sat. , 114, Sacer est locus, ite profani,
Extra meiete!
[76] To all these places the client attends his patron; then, on his
return, the rich man's door is closed, and he is at liberty to return
home, without any invitation to remain to dinner.
"The day's attendance closed, and evening come,
The uninvited client hies him home. " Badham.
[77] _Nova. _ "By witty spleen increased. " Gifford.
[78]
"Friends, unenrich'd, shall revel o'er your bier,
Tell the sad news, nor grace it with a tear. " Hodgson.
[79] _Tædâ. _ Cf. viii. , 235, "Ausi quod libeat tunica punire molestâ. "
Tac. , Ann. , xv. , 44, "Aut crucibus adfixi, aut flammandi, atque ubi
defecisset dies, in usum nocturni luminis urerentur. " Sen. , de Ira,
iii. , 3, "Circumdati defixis corporibus ignes. "
[80] _Qui dedit_, i. e. , Tigellinus.
[81] _Committas_, a metaphor from pairing or matching gladiators in the
arena.
"Achilles may in epic verse be slain,
And none of all his myrmidons complain;
Hylas may drop his pitcher, none will cry,
Not if he drown himself for company. " Dryden.
[82] _Flaminiâ. _ The laws of the xii. tables forbade all burials within
the city. The road-sides, therefore, were lined with tombs. Hence the
common beginning of epitaphs, "Siste gradum viator. " The peculiar
propriety of the selection of these two roads is the fact that Domitian
was buried by the Flaminian, and Paris, the mime, Juvenal's personal
enemy, by the Latin road.
SATIRE II.
I long to escape from hence beyond the Sarmatians, and the frozen
sea, whenever those fellows who pretend to be Curii and live like
Bacchanals presume to read a lecture on morality. First of all, they
are utterly unlearned, though you may find all their quarters full of
busts of Chrysippus. For the most finished scholar among them is he
that has bought an image of Aristotle or Pittacus, or bids his shelves
retain originals of Cleanthes. There is no trusting to the outside!
For what street is there that does not overflow with debauchees of
demure exterior? Dost thou reprove abominations, that art thyself the
most notorious sink among catamites who pretend to follow Socrates?
Thy rough limbs indeed, and the stiff bristles on thy arms, seem to
promise a vigorous mind within; but on thy smooth behind, the surgeon
with a smile lances the swelling piles. These fellows affect a paucity
of words, and a wonderful taciturnity, and the fashion of cutting their
hair shorter than their eyebrows. There is therefore more frankness and
sincerity in Peribomius; the man that by his very look and gait makes
no secret of his depravity, I look upon as the victim of destiny. The
plain-dealing of the latter class excites our pity; their very madness
pleads for our forgiveness. Far worse are they who in Hercules' vein
practice similar atrocities, and preaching up virtue, perpetrate the
foulest vice. "Shall I feel any dread for thee, Sextus, unnatural
thyself? " says the infamous Varillus. "How am I worse than thou? Let
the straight-limbed, if you please, mock the bandy-legged; the fair
European sneer at the Ethiop. But who could tolerate the Gracchi if
they railed at sedition? Who would not confound heaven with earth, and
sea with sky,[83] if a thief were odious to Verres, or a murderer to
Milo? If Clodius were to impeach adulterers, or Catiline Cethegus? If
Sylla's three pupils were to declaim against Sylla's proscriptions?
Such was the case of the adulterer recently[84] defiled by incest, such
as might be found in Greek tragedy, who then set himself to revive
those bitter laws which all might tremble at, ay, even Venus and Mars,
at the same time that Julia was relieving her fruitful womb by so
many abortives,[85] and gave birth to shapeless masses, the image of
her uncle! Might not then, with all reason and justice, even the very
worst of vices look with contempt on these counterfeit Scauri, and if
censured turn and bite again? "
Lauronia could not endure some fierce reformer of this class so often
exclaiming, "Where is now the Julian law? is it slumbering? " and thus
silenced him with a sneer: "Blest days indeed! that set thee up as a
censor of morals! Rome now must needs retrieve her honor! A third Cato
has dropped from the clouds. But tell me, pray, where do you buy these
perfumes that exhale from your neck, all hairy though it be! Do not be
ashamed to tell the shopman's name. But if old laws and statutes are to
be raked up,[86] before all others the Scatinian ought to be revived.
First scrutinize and look into the conduct of the men. They commit
the greater atrocities; but it is their number protects them, and
their phalanxes close serried with their shields. There is a wonderful
unanimity among these effeminates. You will not find one single
instance of such execrable conduct in our sex. [87] Tædia does not
caress Cluvia, nor Flora Catulla. Hispo acts both sex's parts, and is
pale with two-handed lust. Do _we_ ever plead causes? Do we study civil
law? or disturb your courts with any clamor of our tongues? A few of
us perhaps may wrestle, or diet themselves on the trainer's food; but
only a few. You men, you spin wool, and carry home in women's baskets
your finished tasks. You men twist the spindle big with its fine-drawn
thread more deftly than Penelope, more nimbly than Arachne; work, such
as the dirty drab does that sits crouching on her log. Every one
knows why Hister at his death made his freedman his sole heir, while,
when alive, he gave his maiden wife[88] so many presents. She will be
rich without a doubt, who will submit to lie third in the wide bed.
Get married then, and hold your tongue, and earrings[89] will be the
guerdon of your silence! And after all this, forsooth, a heavy sentence
is to be passed on us women! Censure acquits the raven, but falls foul
of the dove! "
From this rebuke so true and undeniable, the counterfeit Stoics
recoiled in confusion, For what grain of untruth was there in
Lauronia's words? Yet, what will not others do, when thou, Creticus,
adoptest muslin robes, and to the amazement of the people, inveighest
in such a dress against Procula or Pollinea?
Fabulla, thou sayest, is an adulteress. Then let her be condemned, if
you will have it so, and Carfinia also. Yet though condemned, she would
not put on such a dress as that. "But it is July, it is raging hot, I
am on fire! " Then plead stark naked! [90] To be thought mad would be a
less disgrace! Is that a dress to propound laws and statutes in, in
the ears of the people when flushed with victory, with their wounds
yet green, or that noble race, fresh from their plows? What an outcry
would you make, if you saw such a dress on the person of a Judex! I
ask, would such a robe be suitable even in a witness? Creticus! the
implacable, the indomitable, the champion of liberty, is transparent!
Contagion has caused this plague-spot, and will extend it to many more,
just as a whole flock perishes, in the fields from the scab of one
sheep, or pigs from mange, and the grape contracts the taint from the
grape it comes in contact with. Ere long you will venture on something
more disgraceful even than this dress. No one ever reached the climax
of vice at one step. You will by degrees enter the band of those who
wear at home long fillets round their brows, and cover their necks with
jewels, and propitiate Bona Dea with the belly of a young sow and a
huge bowl of wine; but by an inversion of the old custom _women_, kept
far aloof, dare not cross the threshold. The altar of the goddess
is accessible to males alone. "Withdraw, profane females! " is the
cry. No minstrel here may make her cornet sound! Such were the orgies
by the secret torch-light which the Baptæ celebrated, who used to
weary out even the Athenian Cotytto. [91] One with needle held oblique
adds length to his eyebrows touched with moistened soot, and raising
the lids paints his quivering eyes. Another drains a Priapus-shaped
glass, and confines his long thick hair with a caul of gold thread,
clothed in sky-blue checks, or close-piled yellow stuffs; while his
attendant also swears by Juno, the patron deity of his master. Another
holds a mirror, the weapon wielded by the pathic Otho, "the spoil of
Auruncan Actor,"[92] in which he surveyed himself when fully armed,
before he gave the signal to engage--a thing worthy to be recorded in
the latest annals and history of the day. A mirror! fit baggage for
a civil war! O yes, forsooth! to kill old Galba shows the consummate
general, to pamper one's complexion is the consistent occupation of
the first citizen of Rome; to aspire to the empire as the prize on
Bebriacum's[93] plains, and then spread over his face a poultice
applied with his fingers! Such an act as neither the quivered Semiramis
perpetrated in the Assyrian realms, or Cleopatra flying dejected in her
Actian galley. Among this crew there is neither decency of language,
nor respect for the proprieties of the table. Here is the foul license
that Cybele enjoins, the lisping speech, the aged priest with hoary
hair, like one possessed, a prodigy of boundless appetite, open to
hire. Yet why do they delay? since long ago they ought after the
Phrygian custom to have removed with their knives the superfluous flesh.
Gracchus[94] gave four hundred sestertia as his dowry, with himself,
to a bugler, or else one that blew the straight trumpet. The marriage
deeds were duly signed, the blessing invoked, a great dinner provided,
the he-bride lay in the bridegroom's arms. O nobles! is it a censor
we need, or an aruspex? You would without doubt be horrified, and deem
it a prodigy of portentous import, if a woman gave birth to a calf, or
a cow to a lamb. The same Gracchus puts on flounces, the long robe and
flame-colored[95] veil, who, when bearing the sacred shields swinging
with mysterious thong, sweated beneath the Ancilia! Oh! father of
our city! whence came such heinous guilt to the shepherds of Latium?
Whence, O Gradivus, came this unnatural lust that has tainted thy race?
See! a man illustrious in birth and rank is made over to a man! Dost
thou neither shake thy helmet, nor smite the earth with thy lance? Dost
thou not even appeal to thy father Jove? Begone then! and quit the
acres of the Campus once so severe, which thou ceasest to care for!
"I have some duty-work to perform to-morrow at break of day in the
Quirinal valley. " "What is the occasion? " "Why ask? my friend is going
to be married; only a few are invited! " If we only live to see it,
these things will be done in the broad light of day, and claim to be
registered in the public acts. Meanwhile, there is one grievous source
of pain that clings to these male-brides, that they are incapable
of bearing, and retaining their lords' affections by bringing them
children. No! better is it that nature in this case gives their minds
no power over their bodies! They must die barren! Vain, in their case,
is fat Lyde with her medicated box; vain the holding out their hands to
the nimble Luperci.
Yet even this prodigy of crime is surpassed by the trident of Gracchus
in his gladiator's tunic,[96] when in full flight he traverses the
middle of the arena. Gracchus! more nobly born than the Manlii, and
Marcelli, and Catulus' and Paulus' race, and the Fabii, and all the
spectators in the front row. Ay, even though you add to these the very
man himself, at whose expense he cast his net as Retiarius.
That there are departed spirits, and realms beneath the earth--that
Charon's pole exists, and the foul frogs in the Stygian whirlpool--and
that so many thousand souls cross its waters in a single bark, not
even boys believe, save those as yet too young to be charged for their
bath. [97] But do thou believe them true! What does Curius feel, and
the two Scipios, what Fabricius and the shades of Camillus, what the
legion cut off at Cremera, and the flower of Roman youth slaughtered
at Cannæ--so many martial spirits--what do they feel when such a shade
as this passes from us to them? They would long to be cleansed from
the pollution of the contact, could any sulphur and pine-torches be
supplied to them, or could there be a bay-tree to sprinkle them with
water.
To such a pitch of degradation are we come! [98] We have, indeed,
advanced our arms beyond Juverna's shore, and the Orcades[99] recently
subdued, and the Britons content with night contracted to its briefest
span. But those abominations which are committed in the victorious
people's city are unknown to those barbarians whom we have conquered.
"Yet there _is_ a story told of one, an Armenian Zalates, who, more
effeminate than the rest of his young countrymen, is reported to have
yielded to the tribune's lust. " See the result of intercourse with
Rome! He came a hostage! Here they learn to be _men_! For if a longer
tarry in the city be granted to these youths, they will never lack a
lover. Their plaids, and knives, and bits, and whips, will soon be
discarded. Thus it is the vices of our young nobles are aped even at
Artaxata. [100]
FOOTNOTES:
[83] Alluding to the comic exclamation, "O Cœlum, O Terra, O Maria
Neptuni. " Vid. Ter. , Adelph. , v. , i. , 4. Cf. Sat. vi. , 283.
[84] _Nuper.
_ The allusion is to Domitian and his niece Julia, who died
from the use of abortives (cf. Plin. , iv. , Epist. xi. : "Vidua abortu
periit"), cir. A. D. 91. This, therefore, fixes the date of the Satire,
which was probably one of Juvenal's earliest, and written when he was
about thirty. Cf. Sat. xiii. , 17.
[85] Cf. vi. , 368.
[86] _Vexantur. _ E somno excitantur, alluding to "Lex Julia Dormis? "
Cf. i. , 126.
[87] The whole of this ironical defense contains the bitterest satire
upon the women of Rome, as all these crimes he proves in the 6th Satire
to be of every-day occurrence.
[88] _Puellæ. _ Cf. Sat. ix. , 70, _seq. _
[89] _Cylindros_, called, vi. , 459, "Elenchos. " Cf. Arist. , Fr. , 300,
ἑλικτῆρες.
[90] _Nudus_, i. e. , in the Roman sense, without the toga.
[91] _Cotytto_ herself, the goddess of licentiousness, was wearied with
their impurities.
[92] _Actoris. _ Æn. , xii. , 94.
[93] _Bebriacum_, between Verona and Cremona, where the deciding battle
was fought between Otho and Vitellius.
[94] _Gracchus. _ In the same manner Nero was married to one Pythagoras,
"in modum solennium conjugiorum denupsisset. " Tac. , Ann. , xv. , 37. He
repeated the same act with Sporus.
[95] _Flammea. _ Vid. Tac. , u. s. "Inditum imperatori flammeum, visi
auspices, dos, et genialis torus et faces nuptiales: cuncta denique
spectata, quæ etiam in feminâ nox operit. "
[96] _Tunicati. _ Vid. Sat. vi. , 256; viii. , 203. Movet ecce tridentem.
Credamus tunicæ, etc.
[97] _Nondum ære lavantur. _ The fee was a quadrans: vi. , 447.
[98] _Traducimur. _ Cf. viii. , 17. Squalentes traducit avos.
[99] _Modo captas Orcadas. _ A. D. 78, Clinton, F. R. "Insulas quas
Orcadas vocant, invenit domuitque. " Tac. , Agric. , c. x. ; cf. c.
xii. "Dierum spatia ultra nostri orbis mensuram: _nox_ clara, et
extremâ Britanniæ parte _brevis_, ut finem atque initium lucis exiguo
discrimine internoscas. "
[100] _Referunt. _ Cf. i. , 41. "Multum _referens_ de Mæcenate supino. "
The fashion is not only _carried_ back to Armenia, but _copied_ there.
_Prætextatus. _ Cf. i. , 78. _Artaxata_, the capital of Armenia, was
taken by Corbulo, A. D. 58.
SATIRE III.
Although troubled at the departure of my old friend, yet I can not but
commend his intention of fixing his abode at Cumæ, now desolate, and
giving the Sibyl one citizen at least. It is the high road to Baiæ, and
has a pleasant shore; a delightful retreat. I prefer even Prochyta[101]
to the Suburra. For what have we ever looked on so wretched or so
lonely, that you would not deem it worse to be in constant dread of
fires, the perpetual falling-in of houses, and the thousand dangers of
the cruel city,[102] and poets spouting in the month of August. [103]
But while his whole household is being stowed in a single wagon, my
friend Umbritius halted at the ancient triumphal arches[104] and the
moist Capena. Here, where Numa used to make assignations with his
nocturnal mistress, the grove of the once-hallowed fountain and the
temples are in our days let out to Jews, whose whole furniture is a
basket and bundle of hay. [105] For every single tree is bid to pay a
rent to the people, and the Camenæ having been ejected, the wood is
one mass of beggars. We descended into the valley of Egeria and the
grottoes, so altered from what nature made them. How much more should
we feel the influence of the presiding genius of the spring,[106]
if turf inclosed the waters with its margin of green, and no marble
profaned the native tufo. Here then Umbritius began:[107]
"Since at Rome there is no place for honest pursuits, no profit to be
got by honest toil--my fortune is less to-day than it was yesterday,
and to-morrow must again make that little less--we purpose emigrating
to the spot where Dædalus put off his wearied wings, while my gray
hairs are still but few, my old age green and erect; while something
yet remains for Lachesis to spin, and I can bear myself on my own legs,
without a staff to support my right hand. Let us leave our native land.
There let Arturius and Catulus live. Let those continue in it who turn
black to white; for whom it is an easy matter to get contracts for
building temples, clearing rivers, constructing harbors,[108] cleansing
the sewers, the furnishing a funeral,[109] and under the mistress-spear
set up the slave to sale. "[110]
These fellows, who in former days were horn-blowers, and constant
attendants on the municipal amphitheatres, and whose puffed cheeks were
well known through all the towns, now themselves exhibit gladiatorial
shows, and when the thumbs of the rabble are turned up, let any man be
killed to court the mob. Returned from thence, they farm the public
jakes.
And why not every thing? Since these are the men whom Fortune, whenever
she is in a sportive mood, raises from the dust to the highest pinnacle
of greatness. [111]
What shall _I_ do at Rome? I can not lie; if a book is bad, I can
not praise it and beg a copy. I know not the motions of the stars. I
neither will nor can promise a man to secure his father's death. I
never inspected the entrails of a toad. [112]
Let others understand how to bear to a bride the messages and presents
of the adulterer; no one shall be a thief by my co-operation; and
therefore I go forth, a companion to no man,[113] as though I were
crippled, and a trunk useless from its right hand being disabled. [114]
Who, now-a-days, is beloved except the confidant of crime, and he whose
raging mind[115] is boiling with things concealed, and that must never
be divulged? He that has made you the partaker of an honest secret,
thinks that he owes you nothing, and nothing will he ever pay. He will
be Verres' dear friend, who can accuse Verres at any time he pleases.
Yet set not thou so high a price on all the sands of shady Tagus,[116]
and the gold rolled down to the sea, as to lose your sleep, and to your
sorrow take bribes that ought to be spurned,[117] and be always dreaded
by your powerful friend.
What class of men is now most welcome to our rich men, and whom I would
especially shun, I will soon tell you; nor shall shame prevent me. [118]
It is that the city is become Greek, Quirites, that I can not tolerate;
and yet how small the proportion even of the dregs of Greece! Syrian
Orontes has long since flowed into the Tiber, and brought with it its
language, morals, and the crooked harps with the flute-player, and its
national tambourines, and girls made to stand for hire at the Circus.
Go thither, ye who fancy a barbarian harlot with embroidered turban.
That rustic of thine, Quirinus, takes his Greek supper-cloak, and wears
Greek prizes on his neck besmeared with Ceroma. [119] One forsaking
steep Sicyon, another Amydon, a third from Andros, another from Samos,
another again from Tralles, or Alabanda,[120] swarm to Esquiliæ, and
the hill called from its osiers, destined to be the very vitals, and
future lords of great houses. [121] These have a quick wit, desperate
impudence, a ready speech, more rapidly fluent even than Isæus. [122]
Tell me what you fancy he is? He has brought with him whatever
character you wish--grammarian, rhetorician, geometer, painter,
trainer,[123] soothsayer, rope-dancer, physician, wizard--he knows
every thing. Bid the hungry Greekling go to heaven! He'll go. [124] In
short, it was neither Moor, nor Sarmatian, nor Thracian, that took
wings, but one born in the heart of Athens. [125] Shall I not shun these
men's purple robes? Shall this fellow take precedence of me in signing
his name, and recline pillowed on a more honorable couch than I, though
imported to Rome by the same wind that brought the plums and figs? [126]
Does it then go so utterly for nothing, that my infancy inhaled the
air of Aventine, nourished on the Sabine berry? Why add that this
nation, most deeply versed in flattery, praises the conversation of
an ignorant, the face of a hideously ugly friend, and compares some
weak fellow's crane-like neck to the brawny shoulders of Hercules,
holding Antæus far from his mother Earth: and is in raptures at the
squeaking voice,[127] not a whit superior in sound to that of the
cock as he bites the hen. We may, it is true, praise the same things,
if we choose. But _they_ are believed. Can he be reckoned a better
actor,[128] when he takes the part of Thais, or acts the wife in the
play, or Doris[129] without her robe. It is surely a woman in reality
that seems to speak, and not a man personifying one. You would swear
it was a woman, perfect in all respects. In their country, neither
Antiochus, nor Stratocles, or Demetrius and the effeminate Hæmus, would
call forth admiration. For there every man's an actor. Do you smile? He
is convulsed with a laugh far more hearty. If he spies a tear in his
friend's eye, he bursts into a flood of weeping; though in reality he
feels no grief. If at the winter solstice you ask for a little fire, he
calls for his thick coat. If you say, I am hot! he breaks into a sweat.
Therefore we are not fairly matched; he has the best of it, who can at
any time, either by night or day, assume a fictitious face; kiss his
hands in ecstasy, quite ready, to praise his patron's grossest acts; if
the golden cup has emitted a sound, when its bottom is inverted.
Besides, there is nothing that is held sacred by these fellows, or
that is safe from their lust. Neither the mistress of the house, nor
your virgin daughter, nor her suitor, unbearded as yet, nor your son,
heretofore chaste. If none of these are to be found, he assails his
friend's grandmother. They aim at learning the secrets of the house,
and from that knowledge be feared.
And since we have begun to make mention of the Greeks, pass on to their
schools of philosophy, and hear the foul crime of the more dignified
cloak. [130] It was a Stoic that killed Bareas--the informer, his
personal friend--the old man, his own pupil--bred on that shore[131]
on which the pinion of the Gorgonean horse lighted. There is no room
for any Roman here, where some Protogenes, or Diphilus, or Erimanthus
reigns supreme; who, with the common vice of his race, never shares
a friend, but engrosses him entirely to himself. For when he has
infused into his patron's too ready ear one little drop of the venom
of his nature and his country, I am ejected from the door; all my
long-protracted service goes for naught. Nowhere is the loss of a
client of less account. Besides (not to flatter ourselves) what service
can the _poor man_ render, what merit can _he_ plead, even though he be
zealous enough to hasten in his toga[132] before break of day, when the
very _prætor_ himself urges on his lictor, and bids him hurry on with
headlong speed, since the childless matrons have been long awake, lest
his colleague[133] be beforehand with him in paying his respects to
Albina and Modia. Here, by the side of a slave, if only rich, walks the
son of the free-born;[134] for the other gives to Calvina, or Catiena
(that he may enjoy her once or twice), as much as the tribunes in the
legion receive;[135] whereas you, when the face of a well-dressed
harlot takes your fancy, hesitate to hand Chione from her exalted seat.
Produce me at Rome a witness of as blameless integrity as the host
of the Idæan deity;[136] let Numa stand forth, or he that rescued
Minerva when in jeopardy from her temple all in flames: the question
first put would be as to his income, that about his moral character
would come last of all. "How many slaves does he keep? How many acres
of public land does he occupy? [137] With how many and what expensive
dishes is his table spread? " In exact proportion to the sum of money
a man keeps in his chest, is the credit given to his oath. Though
you were to swear by all the altars of the Samothracian and our own
gods, the poor man is believed to despise the thunderbolts and the
gods, even with the sanction of the gods themselves. Why add that this
same poor man furnishes material and grounds for ridicule to all, if
his cloak is dirty and torn, if his toga is a little soiled, and one
shoe gapes with its upper leather burst; or if more than one patch
displays the coarse fresh darning thread, where a rent has been sewn
up. Poverty, bitter though it be, has no sharper pang than this, that
it makes men ridiculous. "Let him retire, if he has any shame left,
and quit the cushions of the knights, that has not the income required
by the law, and let these seats be taken by"--the sons of pimps,
in whatever brothel born! [138] Here let the son of the sleek crier
applaud among the spruce youths of the gladiator, and the scions of
the fencing-school. Such is the will of the vain Otho, who made the
distinction between us.
Who was ever allowed at Rome to become a son-in-law if his estate was
inferior, and not a match for the portion of the young lady? [139]
What _poor_ man's name appears in any will? When is he summoned to
a consultation even by an ædile? All Quirites that are poor, ought
long ago to have emigrated in a body. [140] Difficult indeed is it for
those to emerge from obscurity whose noble qualities are cramped by
narrow means at home; but at Rome, for men like these, the attempt is
still more hopeless; it is only at an exorbitant price they can get
a wretched lodging, keep for their servants, and a frugal meal. [141]
A man is ashamed here to dine off pottery ware,[142] which, were
he suddenly transported to the Marsi and a Sabine board, contented
there with a coarse bowl of blue earthenware, he would no longer
deem discreditable. There is a large portion of Italy (if we allow
the fact), where no one puts on the toga, except the dead. [143] Even
when the very majesty of festival days is celebrated in a theatre
reared of turf,[144] and the well-known farce at length returns to the
stage,[145] when the rustic infant on its mother's lap is terrified at
the wide mouth of the ghastly mask, _there_ you will see all costumes
equal and alike, both orchestra and common people. White tunics are
quite sufficient as the robe of distinction for the highest personages
there, even the very ædiles. Here, in Rome, the splendor of dress is
carried beyond men's means; here, something more than is enough, is
taken occasionally from another's chest. In this fault all participate.
Here we all live with a poverty that apes our betters. Why should I
detain you? Every thing at Rome is coupled with high price. What have
you to give, that you may occasionally pay your respects to Cossus?
that Veiento may give you a passing glance, though without deigning to
open his mouth? One shaves the beard, another deposits the hair of a
favorite; the house is full of venal cakes. [146] Now learn this fact,
and keep it to work within your breast. We clients are forced to pay
tribute and increase the private income of these pampered slaves.
Who dreads, or ever did dread, the falling of a house at cool
Præneste, or at Volsinii seated among the well-wooded hills, or simple
Gabii,[147] or the heights of sloping Tibur. We, in Rome, inhabit a
city propped in great measure on a slender shore. [148] For so the
steward props up the falling walls,[149] and when he has plastered over
the old and gaping crack, bids us sleep without sense of danger while
ruin hangs over our heads!
