GENUINENESS
OF AFFECT
Manifestations of genuine positive affect toward the parents as revealed, among other things, by references to (positive) psychological qualities, were found mainly in low-scoring subjects (Category 2b).
Manifestations of genuine positive affect toward the parents as revealed, among other things, by references to (positive) psychological qualities, were found mainly in low-scoring subjects (Category 2b).
Adorno-T-Authoritarian-Personality-Harper-Bros-1950
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I've always been very proud to be his son.
(What sort of person was your mother?
) Most terrific person in the world to me.
(Shortcomings of mother?
) Well, I don't really think she has any, except maybe too wound up in her home, and didn't take more interest in social affairs.
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I truthfully can't say she has any definite shortcomings.
"
Or, M51: (Going back to your father, you say you didn't accept him as a shining example when you were a child? ) "He was always with me except when I was in boarding school, that is, always at home. I just took him for granted, that's all. I never analyzed him . . . when I was very small. Instead of asking why does the sun shine, how are babies made, etc. , etc. , my father says I took everything for granted. . . . I wonder why that was. . . . "
One of the outstanding features in the above quotations from high scorers is the use of superlatives in the description of parents, such as "excellent man in every way," "best in the world," "most terrific person," etc. If more detailed and specific elaborations are made at all, they refer to material bene- fits or help given by the parents. Where there is no readiness to admit that one's parents have any weakness in them it is not surprising to find later an indication of repressed hostility and revengeful fantasies behind the mask of compliance. Some evidence on this point has already been presented above.
The high scorers' emphasis on more obvious rather than on subtle and internalized characteristics cannot be traced to a lower level of education or of intelligence (see Chapter VIII). Rather it must be seen as in line with their general tendency toward greater shallowness and stereotypy and a diluted diffuseness of inner experiences.
The objective appraisal of one's parents, manifested primarily by the low scorers, has a very different quality. Instead of an apparent overestima- tion of the parents which, as will be seen, goes hand in hand with a fear- ful submission to them, we find in the typical unprejudiced subject an evalua-
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tion of the parents on terms of equality. In the following records, all taken from interviews of low-scoring subjects, we find the parents described as real people with real assets and shortcomings. The emphasis in the descrip- tion is on internal rather than external and physical characteristics. Con- comitant with a more critical attitude, we often find in these records a closer and warmer relationship with the parents. It also becomes clear that the parents have often been a source of comfort and love for these subjects, who, in their turn, are more secure in their feelings toward their parents. They are thus able to face and to express conflicts in the areas where there is or was disagreement. Often we get the impression that the low scorers talk in a benevolently condescending way about their parents, critically and at the same time lovingly.
Thus low-scoring women are found to describe their parents as follows:
F6s: "My mother is very much interested in people; she is practical and sensible, but she gets too much interested in fads. On some points I disagree with my mother very much. Mother wants me to be more social. She wants me to wear lipstick, go out to parries, etc. I am too lazy to do all those things. She is very good, nice and does the right thing, but I don't like her temperament. She is mad one minute and the next one she isn't. She gives me too much advice. "
F62: "Father tries to be rational, but he is not always so. He is a dominant person, though my mother was master of the house. "
F7o: (What kind of person is your father? ) "Father was never much in the pic- ture; he paid more attention to me between the ages of one and six than later. I think he wanted a boy, so he paid little attention to me, so probably has not influenced my attitudes very much. Describing father is easier. He's a more definite kind of per- son than mother. He's a person of great intolerance; he is 'a great authority on all subjects' (spoken with some irony) including medicine and physiology. "
F2 3: "Father was very dominating in the home, like all European men, and mother submitted to him. I almost think she enjoyed 'being a martyr'! " (It then became very clear that her mother's submissive and self-sacrificing attitude were unacceptable to
the subject. The mother never got what she wanted. The things she wanted were
like dreams, and she seemed satisfied to keep them as dreams. For example, she would have liked to redecorate the house or to buy a summer place, but the father \. would never let her. )
F26 feels that her father did not understand her point of view. She thinks he is sensitive, but does not sense other people's feelings. The mother is described as a pal, and as having a sense of humor. Subject thinks that, unlike her father, her mother understood what she was feeling.
Examples of "objective appraisal" of parents in low-scoring men follow. As is to be expected in our culture, there sometimes is a word or two of exaggerated praise at the beginning; but this is usually followed up by some more specific qualifiation of a less stereotyped, more vivid and direct kind.
M42: (What sort of person is your mother? ) "Well, I think she is a wonderful woman . . . been very good to me . . . never put too many restrictions on my activ- ities . . . her rules were few and far between, but what rules there were, had to be obeyed and not to be monkeyed with. . . . As a woman, she might seem to be a little
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hard to get acquainted with . . : and, at first, might seem a little 'uppitish,' but . . . she tends to have relatively few friends, and comes to know them pretty well . . . quiet, listens more than she talks, very fair. (What do you admire most about her? ) I don't know. I've never given it much thought. I don't think of any one trait . . . she is very fair. . . . I don't think you could talk her into cheating . . . if she feels some- thing is right, she'll stick up for it no matter what. "
M44: (What sort of person is your father? ) "Oh, he's the kind of guy who never has been very happy working for somebody else. He's always had a little difficulty, especially with a very large company (laughs). He just has a venomous hatred for any big outfit. . . . He has a very vital sense of justice and honesty, and he just can't stand pressure practices. . . . "
Mso: (What sort of person is your mother? ) "An intellectual and a very well- educated person. Her principal gift seems to be that of perception. And ;1 musician (piano) . . . not by trade but certainly by nature. (What do you admire most about her? ) Her intellectual ability. "
M53: (What sort of person was your mother? ) "\Vell, sort of an average person, a rather happy person, quite a happy person. I think she was fairly intelligent, and there again was conditioned to mother-wife sort of thing. Always maintained a pleasant home, I mean really pleasant. (Weaknesses? ) Well, I would say a certain unworldliness. (How do you mean? ) Perhaps, a perfect product of her age, in a way. Kind of a respectable, average, God-fearing sort of person (laughs) . . . . Didn't know much about finances . . . clinging-vine type of female, but a very pleasant per- son. Made not a desperate attempt, but maintained a very pleasant home . . . very pleasant, reasonable sort of person. Certain possessiveness (towards subject). "
M3: "I like my father. He is more a taciturn type, a quiet Frenchman, keeps out of trouble. I don't particularly respect my mother. She is intellectually shallow, wishy- washy-vacillating is the word. That's a hell of a thing to say about mother, but . . . . (Q) "Like I'll tell her what I want to do, and she'll agree enthusiastically. Then father will come along with his ideas against mine, and she'll agree with him. You can only take so much of that. . . . I admire father for his ability to keep his mouth shut. He just says nothing and looks dignified and everyone admires and respects him. I wish I could do that. Of the two, I'd rather be alone with him. (What is your mother like? ) Kindly, generous, always wishing well, seeing the bright side of things, fairly jolly, cracking jokes. Gets along with people fairly well, they like her and she likes them. Her geniality may be just practice because she's been teaching so long . . . principal of a local grammar school . . . she knows how to be amusing, hail- fellow-well-met, you might say. But slightly moralistic, morals of about 1910. For example, she is against Errol Flynn; doesn't moralize, just makes critical remarks in a joking way. "
M15: "Father was born in 1890 on a farm i n - - , mother in 1889 on a n - - farm. (Subject describes his father as having a bad temper and being very strict, punishing the children severely; such as beating them with a strap. ) Father did not attend high school. He had many friends. Played football. Father started out as a game feeder a t - - University, also became a good carpenter and painter. In the
192o's the family moved to - - and father became a minister in the - - Church. The only prerequisite for that was to be able to read the Bible. His sermons are all hell-fire and brimstone. " (Subject thinks that father had an 'inferiority com- plex,' doesn't know just how to explain it. )
Not only do low-scoring subjects express disagreement with their parents more freely, but there is evidence in the records that when they disagree they
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have the strength to follow their own way, though often not without paying the price of conflict and guilt.
It is with respect to the following aspects that the unprejudiced subjects are most often critical of their parents: pressure to sociability, parents giving too much advice, too much dominance or possessiveness, lack of under- standing, religious conflicts. Often hand in hand with these resentments real appreciation of the parents is expressed in specific terms by pointing to their abilities, their independence of conventions, generosity, perceptiveness, happiness.
Since typical low scorers do not really see their parents as any too over- powering or frightening, they can afford to express their feelings of resent- ment more readily. Being able to mobilize rebellion, unprejudiced subjects thus learn to conceive of equality as an alternative to the relationship of dominance-submission. Ambivalence toward the parents can be openly faced and worked out on this basis, preventing the crippling effect of too much repression and submission. It is in this manner that expression of rebellious- ness seems to go with increased ability to give as well as to receive genuine affection while repression of resentment is associated with a more stereotyp- ical glorification of parents that seems devoid of real feeling.
3.
GENUINENESS OF AFFECT
Manifestations of genuine positive affect toward the parents as revealed, among other things, by references to (positive) psychological qualities, were found mainly in low-scoring subjects (Category 2b). It can be understood readily that positive affect toward parents should be found more often where there is an objective evaluation of the parents rather than where there is resentment toward them. In addition to the illustrations of positive affect given previously, we quote here one example of a very intensive expression of positive feeling for the father on the part of a low-scoring woman:
F63: "But I remember when my father left, she came to my room and said, 'You'll never see your Daddy again. ' Those were her exact words. I was crazy with grief and felt it was her fault. I threw things, emptied drawers out of the window, pulled the spreads off the bed, then threw things at the wall. "
The finding that positive affect toward parents is present more often in low scorers must be seen in conjunction with the results on glorification versus objective appraisal as discussed above. In fact, 6 out of the 25 high- scoring women interviewees (as against I I out of the I 5 lower scorers, to be sure) were rated as manifesting objective appraisal. From the present data, however, it is evident that the objectivity of the high-scoring women must be regarded as more hostile than positive. None of them was rated as having "genuine positive affect. " Being basically an attitude of libidinized interest, true objectivity seems to be primarily the domain of the low scorers, at least
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in the present context. This is far from saying that all or nearly all the prejudiced extremes exhibit this trait. In fact, low scorers sometimes display distortions all their own, caused mainly by feelings of guilt and remorse and often leading to an obsessive rather than a genuine type of objectivity (see Chapter XII).
There is some evidence of what may be called blocked affect in the low scorers (Category 2c). An example is given by one of the men in this classi- fication who answered the question, "What were your parents like? " by simply saying "normal parents" without being able to elaborate on this topic when questioned further.
It was expected, on the basis of the generally greater openness of the low scorers, that if parents were rejected by low-scoring subjects, this rejection would tend to be open and based on disagreement with respect to basic prin- ciples. Principled open rejection (Category 2a) did not, however, prove to be statistically differentiating. This may well be due to the fact that only a few cases manifested this attitude.
4. FEELINGS OF VICTIMIZA TION
Somewhat more often than open rejection of the parents, a feeling of victimization by the parents (Category 2) is found in the high-scoring women interviewees. These feelings include complaints about being neg- lected, unjustly disciplined, picked on or otherwise unfairly treated, espe- cially in rivalry situations within the family. Eight of the high-scoring women interviewees showed this attitude, often in conjunction with a glorification of the parents. The subsequent record of a high-scoring woman interviewee gives an example of admiration for the father in general terms, as expressed by the initial phrase, "a grand person," combined with resentment and a feeling of being neglected in favor of the brothers which is brought out after encouragement by the interviewer to describe the father's faults:
F32: Altogether she thinks her "father is a grand person. " When asked whether, since no one is perfect, there were any little faults that she could name, she said that she couldn't think of any. He never drank; well, he swore a little bit. And he was argumentative. (However, in discussing her vocation, subject had mentioned that the father had been willing to finance the education of the boys, but that he expected the girls to stay home and be ladies, so what the girls got they got on their own. In another connection, subject remarked that she had got nothing out of her father. He provided them with the necessities of life, but would not give them anything extra. He never allowed the girls to entertain boys at home. Nevertheless, subject stated that she was closer to her father than to her mother. ) When the interviewer broached the topic of her brothers and sisters, subject replied, "I'm right in the middle-don't they say middle children are forgotten children! " When asked if she thought that was so, subject closed up, merely remarking that her parents showed no partiality.
Some of the other high-scoring women are resentful against their parents
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because of a feeling that their brothers were preferred by virtue of their being boys. Envy, resentment, and depreciation of the brother by high- scoring women, in conjunction with the sense of being victimized by the parents, is exemplified by the following report:
F39: "I had to get up early with mother and bake and clean all day long. I used to say that it was especially unfair because my brother would play. Mother said, well, he was a boy, and that really made me mad. "
It must be emphasized that these feelings of resentment against the parents, especially when they appear in the records of high-scoring subjects, are usually not ego-accepted. Thus F39, whose record was just quoted above, states that her mother was "terribly strict with me about learning to keep house. . . . I am glad now, but I resented it then. " The feelings of resentment are considered "bad" and therefore projected onto childhood and not ac- cepted as present feelings.
Such strictness and the general idea of being treated as a "child" at home are often the source of feelings of victimization. At the same time there is, as will be discussed in greater detail below, submission to the demands of the parents. One high-scoring girl complains about her father: "Can't say I don't like him . . . but he wouldn't let me date at 16. I had to stay home. . . . " Another girl in this group says, "Father and mother were so anxious to adjust that they forgot us. They treated us as 16-year-olds when we were actually 18. " Prejudiced subjects generally tend to feel themselves "forgot- ten," the victims of injustice who did not "get" enough of the things they deserved. They thus tend to resent other people, especially outgroups, of whom they readily conceive as unjustifiably threatening, as intruding on their rights, and as attempting to take privileges away from them.
As was pointed out in previous publications (E. Frenkel-Brunswik, 35, 38) and as will be shown in detail in Chapter XIV, high-scoring women tend to express a great deal of hostility toward mother figures in their responses to the Thematic Apperception Test. In their interviews, however, we find mainly admiration for the mother, although this is frequently intermingled with nonaecepted feelings of hostility and resentment. In those relatively rare cases in which there is an open expression of hostility toward the mother in the interview of a high-scoring woman, one is likely to find this hostility very intense and of an almost paranoid character. The following example is characteristic of this:
F36: Subject describes her mother variously as domineering, dictatorial, and self- centered. Her mother is good at social relationships; she knew how to get along with people. After her divorce, she worked as a traveling - - saleswoman until subject graduated from high school. When on the road, she was very popular with the other salesmen. She worked just long enough to see subject through school, then expected subject to support her, and so quit work. When subject was in high school, she used to make all the clothes for her mother and herself. Once her morher
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cut out a dress wrongly and wh~p subject criticized what she had done, her mother cried, "You don't want to do anything for your mother! " To this, subject retorted, "I never will make anything for you again! " And she never did. In - - , subject shared an apartment with her mother; her mother wanted to run her life and made it impossible for her to have friends at home. She expected her to give in to her for everything. She practically pushed subject out of the apartment; so sub- ject told her finally that she would have to get a place of her own. Her mother asked her how much money she was making and subject replied, "None of your business! " This was what her mother had often said to her. Her mother figured out how much she was making and then asked subject to increase her allowance. Subject retorted, "What would you do if I didn't support you! " This shut her up. Things finally be- came so unbearable that sf. bject broke with her mother completely and has not seen her for years. However, she has continued to support her mother and still sends her a check regularly.
The foregoing record is atypical of the interview material but would be typical of the stories that high-scoring women tell about mother figures in the Thematic Apperception Test. In the stories told by prejudiced women about mother figures the pressure which such women exert upon their daughters is usually revealed alongside the fantasies of revenge. In the more direct descriptions of their mothers in the interviews there is, in most cases, nothing but expressions of admiration.
The intensity of hostility, once such an attitude breaks through in the interview, points toward the fact that strong defenses against it are necessary and indicates once again the source and meaning of the attitude of "glorifi- cation. " In spite of the fact that the subject quoted above openly faces her hostility toward her mother, she still often feels obliged to submit to the mother although she really cannot accept this kind of dependency. Typi- cally, the quarrel with the mother centers about material benefits and prob- lems of exploitation.
Feelings of victimization were also found in 4 low-scoring women. How- ever, in the low-scoring cases such feelings differ somewhat in kind from those of subjects who score high. For example, F63, whose intense expres- sions of despair have been quoted above, experiences the divorce of her parents as desertion by her father. There, the feeling of resentment has a different quality in that it seems a reaction to loss of love rather than a dis- satisfaction with not "getting" enough. In other cases the feelings of resent- ment toward the parents in low-scoring subjects are similar to those of the high scorers, except for the fact that they are more readily accepted and therefore do not appear in the same context with glorification of the parents.
In men, feelings of "victimization" as such are still less differentiating than in women. Four low scorers and 6 high scorers, out of the 20 men inter- viewees in each group, show this attitude. There is again, however, a dif- ferent quality in the two groups in this respect. In the high scorers, reference is usually made to the parent as a disciplinarian. One man complains of having had to work too much, another of not having been slapped enough.
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M )l: "Usually got my way. In fact, all I ever had to do was cry about anything and he'd do whatever it was that upset me (sic! ). . . . I think if I'd been slapped around a little more as a child, I might not need to be slapped around now that I'm grown up. . . . Not only that, but my selfishness is something I can almost blame him for. His attitude and that of the whole family led me to believe that I was . . . the whole universe . . . I know now. I'm not selfish now. But I had to learn that for my- self. . . . My playing cops and robbers: that was because I felt stepped on. . . . "
On the other hand, the feelings of victimization found in low-scoring men give the impression of being more directly based on reality, and tend to refer to not receiving love or some substitute for it. The following is an illustration of this:
M_r;: "For example, he would take a delicacy like candy, pretend to offer us some and then eat it himself and laugh uproariously. . . . Makes him seem sort of a monster, though he's not really. "
5. SUBMISSION VS. PRINCIPLED INDEPENDENCE
Related to glorification of parents is an attitude to be characterized as submission to parental authority and values out of respect based on fear. Its opposite has been designated as principled independence. The importance of this aspect (incorporated here as Category p) has been stressed several times before in this volume, on the grounds that submission to parental authority may be closely related to submission to authority in general. And submission to authority, in its turn, has the broadest implications for social and personal behavior both toward those with power and those without it. It is therefore interesting to note that this category shows marked differences between prejudiced and unprejudiced interviewees. The percentage of high- scoring men who manifest this attitude (as well as the index of significance on this category for men) is greater than that of the high-scoring women. This gives some support to the hypothesis that high-s<;oring men are faced with a more serious submission problem than high-scoring women. Their longing for submission as well as their "toughness," described on previous occasions as a reaction to precisely this submission, will be traced below in greater detail to factors in the family constellation.
Examples of submission to parental authority in high-scoring men are the following:
M4z: (Discipline? ) "Well, there wasn't much to exercise. We just did what they said. Children didn't run wild in those days like they do nowadays. "
M43: "Sun-up to sun-down. (How did you take that? ) We did what the elders told us to. (Ever question it? ) Well, I never questioned. "
M47: "Well, to tell the truth, I don't think she was strict enough with us. . . . I'd get out and run around, come home later than supposed to. She never licked me. Just bawled me out, which was worse. Only licked me once, for stealing my brother's watch when I was 10. (What were you disciplined for? ) Schoolwork, and doing what I was told to do. She was pretty strict about that being home on time. (How
? P ARENTS AND CHILDHOOD SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 35 I
did you respond? ) It just hur't. I never sassed her back or said a mean thing to her. . . . "
Mn: (How did you react when you were spanked? ) "I just didn't do it any- more. "
Ms8: "But, you know, I never held that against my father-I had it coming. He laid the law down, and if I broke it, there was punishment, but never in uncontrolled anger. "
From the foregoing protocols it is evident that many of the high-scoring men not only submit to discipline and punishment because there is no other choice left, but often find themselves in complete agreement with the ad- ministration of harsh punishment. They identify themselves with the punisher and even seem to enjoy punishment. Not only do they appear to have had this attitude as children, but during their adult life the idea of punishment and the fear of it stays with them, often preventing them from transgressing a narrow path of seeming virtue. This holds only for the genuinely conserva- tive type of prejudiced person, not for the delinquent or psychopathic vari- ant (see Chapter XXI).
Examples of submission to parental authority from the protocols of high- scormg women are:
F66: "He never spanked me; mother always did that. You always did what he said, but it was right; there was no question about it. "
F78: Her parents definitely approve of the engagement. Subject wouldn't even go with anyone if they didn't like him.
These short examples may suffice to illustrate that submission to author- ity is not only less frequent in high-scoring women than in men, but also that it has a less intense quality.
The opposite of submission to authority we designated as principled inde- pendence. It is found more often in our low scorers. Eight of the 15 low- scoring women interviewees . Jilnd none of the 2 5 high-scoring ones show this trait. Correspondingly, 10 of the 20 low-scoring men interviewees and only 2 of the like number of high scorers display this attitude in their interviews. In particular, the protocols of low-scoring subjects rated as showing prin- cipled independence contain references to "being independent," to "argu- ing with parents on certain issues," etc. As with submission toward parents, principled independence is more outspoken in the records of men.
M44: (You talked with your mother a lot? ) "Yeah (laughs), though we often dis- agreed. But she was very good to talk with. . . . Now I've almost quit writing about religious things to my mother .
Or, M51: (Going back to your father, you say you didn't accept him as a shining example when you were a child? ) "He was always with me except when I was in boarding school, that is, always at home. I just took him for granted, that's all. I never analyzed him . . . when I was very small. Instead of asking why does the sun shine, how are babies made, etc. , etc. , my father says I took everything for granted. . . . I wonder why that was. . . . "
One of the outstanding features in the above quotations from high scorers is the use of superlatives in the description of parents, such as "excellent man in every way," "best in the world," "most terrific person," etc. If more detailed and specific elaborations are made at all, they refer to material bene- fits or help given by the parents. Where there is no readiness to admit that one's parents have any weakness in them it is not surprising to find later an indication of repressed hostility and revengeful fantasies behind the mask of compliance. Some evidence on this point has already been presented above.
The high scorers' emphasis on more obvious rather than on subtle and internalized characteristics cannot be traced to a lower level of education or of intelligence (see Chapter VIII). Rather it must be seen as in line with their general tendency toward greater shallowness and stereotypy and a diluted diffuseness of inner experiences.
The objective appraisal of one's parents, manifested primarily by the low scorers, has a very different quality. Instead of an apparent overestima- tion of the parents which, as will be seen, goes hand in hand with a fear- ful submission to them, we find in the typical unprejudiced subject an evalua-
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tion of the parents on terms of equality. In the following records, all taken from interviews of low-scoring subjects, we find the parents described as real people with real assets and shortcomings. The emphasis in the descrip- tion is on internal rather than external and physical characteristics. Con- comitant with a more critical attitude, we often find in these records a closer and warmer relationship with the parents. It also becomes clear that the parents have often been a source of comfort and love for these subjects, who, in their turn, are more secure in their feelings toward their parents. They are thus able to face and to express conflicts in the areas where there is or was disagreement. Often we get the impression that the low scorers talk in a benevolently condescending way about their parents, critically and at the same time lovingly.
Thus low-scoring women are found to describe their parents as follows:
F6s: "My mother is very much interested in people; she is practical and sensible, but she gets too much interested in fads. On some points I disagree with my mother very much. Mother wants me to be more social. She wants me to wear lipstick, go out to parries, etc. I am too lazy to do all those things. She is very good, nice and does the right thing, but I don't like her temperament. She is mad one minute and the next one she isn't. She gives me too much advice. "
F62: "Father tries to be rational, but he is not always so. He is a dominant person, though my mother was master of the house. "
F7o: (What kind of person is your father? ) "Father was never much in the pic- ture; he paid more attention to me between the ages of one and six than later. I think he wanted a boy, so he paid little attention to me, so probably has not influenced my attitudes very much. Describing father is easier. He's a more definite kind of per- son than mother. He's a person of great intolerance; he is 'a great authority on all subjects' (spoken with some irony) including medicine and physiology. "
F2 3: "Father was very dominating in the home, like all European men, and mother submitted to him. I almost think she enjoyed 'being a martyr'! " (It then became very clear that her mother's submissive and self-sacrificing attitude were unacceptable to
the subject. The mother never got what she wanted. The things she wanted were
like dreams, and she seemed satisfied to keep them as dreams. For example, she would have liked to redecorate the house or to buy a summer place, but the father \. would never let her. )
F26 feels that her father did not understand her point of view. She thinks he is sensitive, but does not sense other people's feelings. The mother is described as a pal, and as having a sense of humor. Subject thinks that, unlike her father, her mother understood what she was feeling.
Examples of "objective appraisal" of parents in low-scoring men follow. As is to be expected in our culture, there sometimes is a word or two of exaggerated praise at the beginning; but this is usually followed up by some more specific qualifiation of a less stereotyped, more vivid and direct kind.
M42: (What sort of person is your mother? ) "Well, I think she is a wonderful woman . . . been very good to me . . . never put too many restrictions on my activ- ities . . . her rules were few and far between, but what rules there were, had to be obeyed and not to be monkeyed with. . . . As a woman, she might seem to be a little
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hard to get acquainted with . . : and, at first, might seem a little 'uppitish,' but . . . she tends to have relatively few friends, and comes to know them pretty well . . . quiet, listens more than she talks, very fair. (What do you admire most about her? ) I don't know. I've never given it much thought. I don't think of any one trait . . . she is very fair. . . . I don't think you could talk her into cheating . . . if she feels some- thing is right, she'll stick up for it no matter what. "
M44: (What sort of person is your father? ) "Oh, he's the kind of guy who never has been very happy working for somebody else. He's always had a little difficulty, especially with a very large company (laughs). He just has a venomous hatred for any big outfit. . . . He has a very vital sense of justice and honesty, and he just can't stand pressure practices. . . . "
Mso: (What sort of person is your mother? ) "An intellectual and a very well- educated person. Her principal gift seems to be that of perception. And ;1 musician (piano) . . . not by trade but certainly by nature. (What do you admire most about her? ) Her intellectual ability. "
M53: (What sort of person was your mother? ) "\Vell, sort of an average person, a rather happy person, quite a happy person. I think she was fairly intelligent, and there again was conditioned to mother-wife sort of thing. Always maintained a pleasant home, I mean really pleasant. (Weaknesses? ) Well, I would say a certain unworldliness. (How do you mean? ) Perhaps, a perfect product of her age, in a way. Kind of a respectable, average, God-fearing sort of person (laughs) . . . . Didn't know much about finances . . . clinging-vine type of female, but a very pleasant per- son. Made not a desperate attempt, but maintained a very pleasant home . . . very pleasant, reasonable sort of person. Certain possessiveness (towards subject). "
M3: "I like my father. He is more a taciturn type, a quiet Frenchman, keeps out of trouble. I don't particularly respect my mother. She is intellectually shallow, wishy- washy-vacillating is the word. That's a hell of a thing to say about mother, but . . . . (Q) "Like I'll tell her what I want to do, and she'll agree enthusiastically. Then father will come along with his ideas against mine, and she'll agree with him. You can only take so much of that. . . . I admire father for his ability to keep his mouth shut. He just says nothing and looks dignified and everyone admires and respects him. I wish I could do that. Of the two, I'd rather be alone with him. (What is your mother like? ) Kindly, generous, always wishing well, seeing the bright side of things, fairly jolly, cracking jokes. Gets along with people fairly well, they like her and she likes them. Her geniality may be just practice because she's been teaching so long . . . principal of a local grammar school . . . she knows how to be amusing, hail- fellow-well-met, you might say. But slightly moralistic, morals of about 1910. For example, she is against Errol Flynn; doesn't moralize, just makes critical remarks in a joking way. "
M15: "Father was born in 1890 on a farm i n - - , mother in 1889 on a n - - farm. (Subject describes his father as having a bad temper and being very strict, punishing the children severely; such as beating them with a strap. ) Father did not attend high school. He had many friends. Played football. Father started out as a game feeder a t - - University, also became a good carpenter and painter. In the
192o's the family moved to - - and father became a minister in the - - Church. The only prerequisite for that was to be able to read the Bible. His sermons are all hell-fire and brimstone. " (Subject thinks that father had an 'inferiority com- plex,' doesn't know just how to explain it. )
Not only do low-scoring subjects express disagreement with their parents more freely, but there is evidence in the records that when they disagree they
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have the strength to follow their own way, though often not without paying the price of conflict and guilt.
It is with respect to the following aspects that the unprejudiced subjects are most often critical of their parents: pressure to sociability, parents giving too much advice, too much dominance or possessiveness, lack of under- standing, religious conflicts. Often hand in hand with these resentments real appreciation of the parents is expressed in specific terms by pointing to their abilities, their independence of conventions, generosity, perceptiveness, happiness.
Since typical low scorers do not really see their parents as any too over- powering or frightening, they can afford to express their feelings of resent- ment more readily. Being able to mobilize rebellion, unprejudiced subjects thus learn to conceive of equality as an alternative to the relationship of dominance-submission. Ambivalence toward the parents can be openly faced and worked out on this basis, preventing the crippling effect of too much repression and submission. It is in this manner that expression of rebellious- ness seems to go with increased ability to give as well as to receive genuine affection while repression of resentment is associated with a more stereotyp- ical glorification of parents that seems devoid of real feeling.
3.
GENUINENESS OF AFFECT
Manifestations of genuine positive affect toward the parents as revealed, among other things, by references to (positive) psychological qualities, were found mainly in low-scoring subjects (Category 2b). It can be understood readily that positive affect toward parents should be found more often where there is an objective evaluation of the parents rather than where there is resentment toward them. In addition to the illustrations of positive affect given previously, we quote here one example of a very intensive expression of positive feeling for the father on the part of a low-scoring woman:
F63: "But I remember when my father left, she came to my room and said, 'You'll never see your Daddy again. ' Those were her exact words. I was crazy with grief and felt it was her fault. I threw things, emptied drawers out of the window, pulled the spreads off the bed, then threw things at the wall. "
The finding that positive affect toward parents is present more often in low scorers must be seen in conjunction with the results on glorification versus objective appraisal as discussed above. In fact, 6 out of the 25 high- scoring women interviewees (as against I I out of the I 5 lower scorers, to be sure) were rated as manifesting objective appraisal. From the present data, however, it is evident that the objectivity of the high-scoring women must be regarded as more hostile than positive. None of them was rated as having "genuine positive affect. " Being basically an attitude of libidinized interest, true objectivity seems to be primarily the domain of the low scorers, at least
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in the present context. This is far from saying that all or nearly all the prejudiced extremes exhibit this trait. In fact, low scorers sometimes display distortions all their own, caused mainly by feelings of guilt and remorse and often leading to an obsessive rather than a genuine type of objectivity (see Chapter XII).
There is some evidence of what may be called blocked affect in the low scorers (Category 2c). An example is given by one of the men in this classi- fication who answered the question, "What were your parents like? " by simply saying "normal parents" without being able to elaborate on this topic when questioned further.
It was expected, on the basis of the generally greater openness of the low scorers, that if parents were rejected by low-scoring subjects, this rejection would tend to be open and based on disagreement with respect to basic prin- ciples. Principled open rejection (Category 2a) did not, however, prove to be statistically differentiating. This may well be due to the fact that only a few cases manifested this attitude.
4. FEELINGS OF VICTIMIZA TION
Somewhat more often than open rejection of the parents, a feeling of victimization by the parents (Category 2) is found in the high-scoring women interviewees. These feelings include complaints about being neg- lected, unjustly disciplined, picked on or otherwise unfairly treated, espe- cially in rivalry situations within the family. Eight of the high-scoring women interviewees showed this attitude, often in conjunction with a glorification of the parents. The subsequent record of a high-scoring woman interviewee gives an example of admiration for the father in general terms, as expressed by the initial phrase, "a grand person," combined with resentment and a feeling of being neglected in favor of the brothers which is brought out after encouragement by the interviewer to describe the father's faults:
F32: Altogether she thinks her "father is a grand person. " When asked whether, since no one is perfect, there were any little faults that she could name, she said that she couldn't think of any. He never drank; well, he swore a little bit. And he was argumentative. (However, in discussing her vocation, subject had mentioned that the father had been willing to finance the education of the boys, but that he expected the girls to stay home and be ladies, so what the girls got they got on their own. In another connection, subject remarked that she had got nothing out of her father. He provided them with the necessities of life, but would not give them anything extra. He never allowed the girls to entertain boys at home. Nevertheless, subject stated that she was closer to her father than to her mother. ) When the interviewer broached the topic of her brothers and sisters, subject replied, "I'm right in the middle-don't they say middle children are forgotten children! " When asked if she thought that was so, subject closed up, merely remarking that her parents showed no partiality.
Some of the other high-scoring women are resentful against their parents
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because of a feeling that their brothers were preferred by virtue of their being boys. Envy, resentment, and depreciation of the brother by high- scoring women, in conjunction with the sense of being victimized by the parents, is exemplified by the following report:
F39: "I had to get up early with mother and bake and clean all day long. I used to say that it was especially unfair because my brother would play. Mother said, well, he was a boy, and that really made me mad. "
It must be emphasized that these feelings of resentment against the parents, especially when they appear in the records of high-scoring subjects, are usually not ego-accepted. Thus F39, whose record was just quoted above, states that her mother was "terribly strict with me about learning to keep house. . . . I am glad now, but I resented it then. " The feelings of resentment are considered "bad" and therefore projected onto childhood and not ac- cepted as present feelings.
Such strictness and the general idea of being treated as a "child" at home are often the source of feelings of victimization. At the same time there is, as will be discussed in greater detail below, submission to the demands of the parents. One high-scoring girl complains about her father: "Can't say I don't like him . . . but he wouldn't let me date at 16. I had to stay home. . . . " Another girl in this group says, "Father and mother were so anxious to adjust that they forgot us. They treated us as 16-year-olds when we were actually 18. " Prejudiced subjects generally tend to feel themselves "forgot- ten," the victims of injustice who did not "get" enough of the things they deserved. They thus tend to resent other people, especially outgroups, of whom they readily conceive as unjustifiably threatening, as intruding on their rights, and as attempting to take privileges away from them.
As was pointed out in previous publications (E. Frenkel-Brunswik, 35, 38) and as will be shown in detail in Chapter XIV, high-scoring women tend to express a great deal of hostility toward mother figures in their responses to the Thematic Apperception Test. In their interviews, however, we find mainly admiration for the mother, although this is frequently intermingled with nonaecepted feelings of hostility and resentment. In those relatively rare cases in which there is an open expression of hostility toward the mother in the interview of a high-scoring woman, one is likely to find this hostility very intense and of an almost paranoid character. The following example is characteristic of this:
F36: Subject describes her mother variously as domineering, dictatorial, and self- centered. Her mother is good at social relationships; she knew how to get along with people. After her divorce, she worked as a traveling - - saleswoman until subject graduated from high school. When on the road, she was very popular with the other salesmen. She worked just long enough to see subject through school, then expected subject to support her, and so quit work. When subject was in high school, she used to make all the clothes for her mother and herself. Once her morher
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cut out a dress wrongly and wh~p subject criticized what she had done, her mother cried, "You don't want to do anything for your mother! " To this, subject retorted, "I never will make anything for you again! " And she never did. In - - , subject shared an apartment with her mother; her mother wanted to run her life and made it impossible for her to have friends at home. She expected her to give in to her for everything. She practically pushed subject out of the apartment; so sub- ject told her finally that she would have to get a place of her own. Her mother asked her how much money she was making and subject replied, "None of your business! " This was what her mother had often said to her. Her mother figured out how much she was making and then asked subject to increase her allowance. Subject retorted, "What would you do if I didn't support you! " This shut her up. Things finally be- came so unbearable that sf. bject broke with her mother completely and has not seen her for years. However, she has continued to support her mother and still sends her a check regularly.
The foregoing record is atypical of the interview material but would be typical of the stories that high-scoring women tell about mother figures in the Thematic Apperception Test. In the stories told by prejudiced women about mother figures the pressure which such women exert upon their daughters is usually revealed alongside the fantasies of revenge. In the more direct descriptions of their mothers in the interviews there is, in most cases, nothing but expressions of admiration.
The intensity of hostility, once such an attitude breaks through in the interview, points toward the fact that strong defenses against it are necessary and indicates once again the source and meaning of the attitude of "glorifi- cation. " In spite of the fact that the subject quoted above openly faces her hostility toward her mother, she still often feels obliged to submit to the mother although she really cannot accept this kind of dependency. Typi- cally, the quarrel with the mother centers about material benefits and prob- lems of exploitation.
Feelings of victimization were also found in 4 low-scoring women. How- ever, in the low-scoring cases such feelings differ somewhat in kind from those of subjects who score high. For example, F63, whose intense expres- sions of despair have been quoted above, experiences the divorce of her parents as desertion by her father. There, the feeling of resentment has a different quality in that it seems a reaction to loss of love rather than a dis- satisfaction with not "getting" enough. In other cases the feelings of resent- ment toward the parents in low-scoring subjects are similar to those of the high scorers, except for the fact that they are more readily accepted and therefore do not appear in the same context with glorification of the parents.
In men, feelings of "victimization" as such are still less differentiating than in women. Four low scorers and 6 high scorers, out of the 20 men inter- viewees in each group, show this attitude. There is again, however, a dif- ferent quality in the two groups in this respect. In the high scorers, reference is usually made to the parent as a disciplinarian. One man complains of having had to work too much, another of not having been slapped enough.
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M )l: "Usually got my way. In fact, all I ever had to do was cry about anything and he'd do whatever it was that upset me (sic! ). . . . I think if I'd been slapped around a little more as a child, I might not need to be slapped around now that I'm grown up. . . . Not only that, but my selfishness is something I can almost blame him for. His attitude and that of the whole family led me to believe that I was . . . the whole universe . . . I know now. I'm not selfish now. But I had to learn that for my- self. . . . My playing cops and robbers: that was because I felt stepped on. . . . "
On the other hand, the feelings of victimization found in low-scoring men give the impression of being more directly based on reality, and tend to refer to not receiving love or some substitute for it. The following is an illustration of this:
M_r;: "For example, he would take a delicacy like candy, pretend to offer us some and then eat it himself and laugh uproariously. . . . Makes him seem sort of a monster, though he's not really. "
5. SUBMISSION VS. PRINCIPLED INDEPENDENCE
Related to glorification of parents is an attitude to be characterized as submission to parental authority and values out of respect based on fear. Its opposite has been designated as principled independence. The importance of this aspect (incorporated here as Category p) has been stressed several times before in this volume, on the grounds that submission to parental authority may be closely related to submission to authority in general. And submission to authority, in its turn, has the broadest implications for social and personal behavior both toward those with power and those without it. It is therefore interesting to note that this category shows marked differences between prejudiced and unprejudiced interviewees. The percentage of high- scoring men who manifest this attitude (as well as the index of significance on this category for men) is greater than that of the high-scoring women. This gives some support to the hypothesis that high-s<;oring men are faced with a more serious submission problem than high-scoring women. Their longing for submission as well as their "toughness," described on previous occasions as a reaction to precisely this submission, will be traced below in greater detail to factors in the family constellation.
Examples of submission to parental authority in high-scoring men are the following:
M4z: (Discipline? ) "Well, there wasn't much to exercise. We just did what they said. Children didn't run wild in those days like they do nowadays. "
M43: "Sun-up to sun-down. (How did you take that? ) We did what the elders told us to. (Ever question it? ) Well, I never questioned. "
M47: "Well, to tell the truth, I don't think she was strict enough with us. . . . I'd get out and run around, come home later than supposed to. She never licked me. Just bawled me out, which was worse. Only licked me once, for stealing my brother's watch when I was 10. (What were you disciplined for? ) Schoolwork, and doing what I was told to do. She was pretty strict about that being home on time. (How
? P ARENTS AND CHILDHOOD SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 35 I
did you respond? ) It just hur't. I never sassed her back or said a mean thing to her. . . . "
Mn: (How did you react when you were spanked? ) "I just didn't do it any- more. "
Ms8: "But, you know, I never held that against my father-I had it coming. He laid the law down, and if I broke it, there was punishment, but never in uncontrolled anger. "
From the foregoing protocols it is evident that many of the high-scoring men not only submit to discipline and punishment because there is no other choice left, but often find themselves in complete agreement with the ad- ministration of harsh punishment. They identify themselves with the punisher and even seem to enjoy punishment. Not only do they appear to have had this attitude as children, but during their adult life the idea of punishment and the fear of it stays with them, often preventing them from transgressing a narrow path of seeming virtue. This holds only for the genuinely conserva- tive type of prejudiced person, not for the delinquent or psychopathic vari- ant (see Chapter XXI).
Examples of submission to parental authority from the protocols of high- scormg women are:
F66: "He never spanked me; mother always did that. You always did what he said, but it was right; there was no question about it. "
F78: Her parents definitely approve of the engagement. Subject wouldn't even go with anyone if they didn't like him.
These short examples may suffice to illustrate that submission to author- ity is not only less frequent in high-scoring women than in men, but also that it has a less intense quality.
The opposite of submission to authority we designated as principled inde- pendence. It is found more often in our low scorers. Eight of the 15 low- scoring women interviewees . Jilnd none of the 2 5 high-scoring ones show this trait. Correspondingly, 10 of the 20 low-scoring men interviewees and only 2 of the like number of high scorers display this attitude in their interviews. In particular, the protocols of low-scoring subjects rated as showing prin- cipled independence contain references to "being independent," to "argu- ing with parents on certain issues," etc. As with submission toward parents, principled independence is more outspoken in the records of men.
M44: (You talked with your mother a lot? ) "Yeah (laughs), though we often dis- agreed. But she was very good to talk with. . . . Now I've almost quit writing about religious things to my mother .
