No More Learning

At Sir William Temple's, Swift met many of the great statesmen
of the day; being thus drawn into the congenial atmosphere of poli-
tics. It is recorded that he met King William there, who graciously
showed him the Dutch method of preparing asparagus for the table.
Tradition assigns Swift to a servant's place in Temple's household,


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14261
but this is hardly probable. The retired statesman must have recog-
nized the talents of his kinsman, for he sent him on one occasion
to King William to persuade him to consent to the bill for triennial
Parliaments. Swift hoped much from the King's favor, but obtained
little more than promises. His talents as a prose-writer seem to have
been as yet unknown to him. His literary compositions were limited
to Pindaric odes in praise of Sir William: they fully justify his cousin
Dryden's curt criticism, “Cousin Swift, you will never be a poet. ”
In 1692 Swift took his degree of M. A. from the University of
Oxford, where he had been most kindly received: he always retained
affection and gratitude for this foster-mother; and it was perhaps
under her tutelage that he entered into the full consciousness of his
powers. In 1695, Moor Park having become impossible as a residence,
he parted from his patron in anger; going immediately to Ireland,
where he sought ordination to the diaconate, but was refused it un-
less he could present a letter of recommendation from Sir William
Temple. Swift hesitated five months; finally submitted to the humili-
ation: was ordained deacon and priest, and obtained the small living
of Kilroot, where he remained but a short time; returning to Moor
Park at the earnest solicitation of Sir William, who had learned to
appreciate, in part at least, Swift's powers. Their relations from that
time until Sir William's death in 1699 were cordial, Swift remaining
in his household until the end. He found the little Esther grown
into a comely girl of sixteen. From the time of Sir William's decease
he took her under his protection; by his advice she took up her resi-
dence in Ireland in 1708, with her chaperon Mrs. Dingley, and was
thenceforth known in the eyes of the world as Swift's dearest friend,
and perhaps his wife. ' The mystery of his relationship to her has
never been solved. One thing is certain: that her love was the sol-
ace of his life, and that his feeling towards her was of that exquisite
tenderness in which alone he seemed to find peace.
After his patron's death, Swift obtained the office of chaplain to
the Earl of Berkeley; but was disappointed in not receiving the sec-
retaryship also. He failed to obtain the rich deanery of Derry, for
which he had applied; and was finally presented with the living of
Laracor, and two or three others, which netted him about £230. At
Laracor he took up his abode for a short time. Later he became
chaplain to the Duke of Ormond, and afterwards to the Earl of Pem-
broke. His frequent visits to London with these statesmen drew him
gradually into the domain of political life, and familiarized him with
the political parties and ideals of the time. His own brilliant politi-
cal career was opened in 1701, by the publication of the Discourse
on the Contests and Dissensions in Athens and Rome. ' The occasion
of this pamphlet was the conflict in the Houses of Parliament over
the proposed impeachment by the Tory party of Somers and three


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JONATHAN SWIFT
other Whigs, who had participated in the Partition Treaty. Swift up-
held those who resisted the impeachment; thus gaining a strong foot-
hold with the Whigs, and winning the confidence of the leaders of
the party. He might be called the father of the political pamphlet.
In his hands it became a tremendous power, moving the people as
a rushing mighty wind. It is in the political pamphlet that Swift's
powers are seen at their zenith: his incomparable command of satire,
his faultless logic, his universal common-sense, his invective, vivid
and deadly as lightning, here receive consummate expression; added
to these gifts he was a master of homely English prose. His Eng-
lish is the most popular English that was ever written: its perfec-
tion is in its simplicity and clearness. The gigantic intellect revealed
itself to babes: Swift's prose was at once a lamp to the unlettered
and a star to the scholar.
Until 1710 Swift remained in close conjunction with the Whigs,
but his change in politics was as inevitable as it was organic. ( Who-
ever has a true value for Church and State,” he writes, “should avoid
the extremes of Whig for the sake of the former, and the extremes
of Tory on account of the latter. ” And again: «No true lover of
liberty could unite with extreme Tories, no true lover of Church with
extreme Whigs. ” Swift's political position is here summed up. He
was, moreover, too much of a genius to be rabid in the cause of
a party. His enthusiasm and his idealism found expression in the
upholding of the ecclesiastical tradition. Swift has been accused of
shallowness and infidelity in his relations to the Church; but his reli-
gious pamphlets, at least, witness to an intense devotion to her cause.
It is true without doubt that he concealed his religious feeling, as
he concealed his affections, under the mask of indifference, even of
raillery; but he must be judged in both sentiments by the law of con-
traries. He is a remarkable example of a “hypocrite reversed. ”
It was during his connection with the Whig party that Swift
wrote those pamphlets which indicated that he must throw in his lot
eventually with the Tories. The “Tale of a Tub' appeared in 1704:
in this marvelous satire the genius of Swift reaches its highest
mark The three divisions of Christendom — the Roman Catholic,
Anglican, and Puritan are represented by three brothers, Peter,
Martin, and Jack, to each of whom their father has bequeathed a coat
warranted with good usage to wear forever. The vicissitudes of these
coats represent the changes through which their owners, the churches,
have passed in the course of centuries. Underneath the veil of sat-
ire, Swift's preference for the Anglican Church can be clearly traced.
To this same era of his life belong his 'Sentiments of a Church of
England Man,' his Letter to a Member of Parliament concerning
the Sacramental Test,' and his famous Argument against the Abo-
lition of Christianity. ' In this pamphlet he gravely points out the


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14263
«inconveniences” which might follow such abolition. « Great wits
love to be free with the highest objects; and if they cannot be al-
lowed a God to revile and denounce, they will speak evil of dignities,
abuse the government, and reflect upon the ministry”!
About the year 1709 Swift showed himself to be more in sympa-
thy with the Tory than with the Whig party, and from that time on
he employed all the resources of his great intellect to further their
aims: the full establishment of the Church of England's authority,
and the termination of the Continental war. He founded an organ
of his party, the Examiner; and through this paper he directed the
course of public opinion with unparalleled acumen and political tact.
During these years he had close friendship with Pope and Congreve,
Addison and Steele, with Arbuthnot and Halifax and Bolingbroke;
but notwithstanding his popularity and his acknowledged eminence,
his chances for preferment were never great. The stupid Queen
Anne could have little appreciation of his genius; she was moreover
in the hands of injudicious female advisers. It was with difficulty
that the deanery of St. Patrick's, Dublin, was obtained for him in
1713. He did not remain there long after his installation, but hurried
back to England at the urgent request of his political friends, to
reconcile the two leaders, Oxford and Bolingbroke. Oxford's fall and
Bolingbroke's elevation to the ministry occurred soon afterwards; it
is remembered to the eternal honor of Swift that he did not desert
Oxford in his ill-fortune, although tempted with golden baits to do
The death of the Queen, and the consequent collapse of the Tory
party, occurring soon after, Swift retired to his deanery in Dublin.
For the detailed account of Swift's London career, the world is
indebted to his journal to Stella, — those circumstantial, playful letters
which he wrote to her, sometimes in the little language » of her
childhood, sometimes in the strong, tense prose of the great states-
man. In any case it was the language of his heart, a tongue whose
full meaning was known alone to him and Stella. It is always tender,
never passionate: Stella assumed, at least, to be content with tender-
ness; and because she did so, she remained the one serene influence
of his stormy life.
Had “Vanessa” possessed the wisdom of her rival, her tragedy
might never have been written; as it was, she demanded of the great
Dean, like Semele of Jupiter, that which could only destroy her.
His love, could she have had it, would have been only less destruct-
ive than his hate: in the calm of friendship lay the only safety of
the women on whom Swift bestowed his approbation.
“Vanessa,” or Esther Vanhomrigh, was the daughter of a wealthy
widow residing in London, where Swift first made her acquaintance.
He recognized the high quality of her intelligence, and for a time
directed her studies. She at last confessed her love to him: he
So.


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JONATHAN SWIFT
answered in the poem of Cadenus and Vanessa,' designed to show
her that his feeling for her was only that of friendship. He allowed
her however to follow him to Ireland, and he even called upon her
frequently in her home there. She at last wrote to Stella, demand-
ing to know the true relationship existing between her and the Dean.
Tradition says that Stella showed the letter to him; and that he, in a
paroxysm of rage, rode post-haste to Vanessa's house, cast the letter
at her feet, and departed without a word. However that may be,
she died not long after,- presumably of a broken heart.
After Swift's return to Ireland, he wrote many pamphlets in the
interests of the Irish people, thus making himself enormously popular
with them. The condition of Ireland at that time was most deplor-
able: the industries had been destroyed by the act forbidding the
importation of Irish cattle to England; the currency was disordered;
famine threatened the land. The Drapier letters were written to
discredit the English government by the accusation, proved false, of
imposing a debased copper coinage on Ireland. In a well-known
pamphlet he proposes that the children of the peasantry in Ireland
should be fattened for the table, thus keeping down the population
and supplying an article of nutritious food. It is this pamphlet
which is so completely misunderstood by Thackeray in his English
Humourists, and which has led many to judge Swift as an inhuman
monster. The humor of it is indeed terrible, but the cause of its
being written was even more terrible. It was under such pleasant-
ries that Swift hid his heart.
In 1726 (Gulliver's Travels' – one of the greatest books of the
century — appeared. Only Swift could have written a nursery classic
which is at the same time the most painful satire on human nature
ever given to the world. In the monstrous conception of the Yahoos,
there is an indication of something darker and more sinister than
mere misanthropy.
In 1728 Stella died. The last barrier between him and that un-
known horror that lurked in some shadowy region of his mighty
intellect, was thus removed. After her death he declined visibly.
The last years of his life were spent in madness and idiocy. He
died in 1745, and was buried in St. Patrick's Cathedral.
No figure in the whole range of English men of letters is more
striking than Swift's; no figure is less intelligible. Judgment of him
must always contain an element of presumption. It is as little in
place as judgment of a giant forest oak, twisted and wrenched by
the lightning of Jove.
Shole
Aura Impure Shack


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14265.
AN ARGUMENT
TO PROVE THAT THE
ABOLISHING OF CHRISTIANITY IN ENGLAND
MAY, AS Things Now STAND, BE ATTENDED WITH SOME INCONVENIENCES,
AND PERHAPS NOT PRODUCE THOSE MANY GOOD EFFECTS PRO-
POSED THEREBY
I
AM very sensible what a weakness and presumption it is to
reason against the general humor and disposition of the world.
I remember it was, with great justice and due regard to the
freedom both of the public and the press, forbidden upon several
penalties, to write or discourse or lay wagers against the Union,
even before it was confirmed by Parliament; because that was
looked upon as a design to oppose the current of the people, –
which, beside the folly of it, is a manifest breach of the funda-
mental law that makes this majority of opinion the voice of
God. In like manner, and for the very same reasons, it may
perhaps be neither safe nor prudent to argue against the abol-
ishing of Christianity, at a juncture when all parties appear so
unanimously determined upon the point, as we cannot but allow
from their actions, their discourses, and their writings. However,
I know not how,- whether from the affectation of singularity
or the perverseness of human nature, but so it unhappily falls
out, that I cannot be entirely of this opinion. Nay, though I
sure an order were issued for my immediate prosecution
by the attorney-general, I should still confess that in the present
posture of our affairs at home or abroad, I do not yet see the
absolute necessity of extirpating the Christian religion from
among us.
This perhaps may appear too great a paradox even for our
wise and paradoxical age to endure; therefore I shall handle it
with all tenderness, and with the utmost deference to that great
and profound majority which is of another sentiment.
And yet the curious may please to observe how much the
genius of a nation is liable to alter in half an age: I have heard
it affirmed for certain by some very old people that the contrary
opinion was, even in their memories, as much in vogue as the
other is now; and that a project for the abolishing of Christian-
ity would then have appeared as singular, and been thought as
were
>


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JONATHAN SWIFT
absurd, as it would be at this time to write or discourse in its
defense.
Therefore I freely own that all appearances are against me.
The system of the gospel, after the fate of other systems, is
generally antiquated and exploded: and the mass or body of the
common people, among whom it seems to have had its latest
credit, are now grown as much ashamed of it as their betters;
opinions like fashions always descending from those of quality to
the middle sort, and thence to the vulgar, where at length they
are dropped and vanish.
But I would not be mistaken; and must therefore be
so bold as to borrow a distinction from the writers on the other
side, when they make a difference between nominal and real
Trinitarians. I hope no reader imagines me so weak to stand
up in the defense of real Christianity, such as used in primitive
times (if we may believe the authors of those ages) to have an
influence upon men's belief and actions; -- to offer at the restor-
ing of that would indeed be a wild project: it would be to dig
up foundations; to destroy at one blow all the wit and half the
learning of the kingdom; to break the entire frame and constitu-
tion of things; to ruin trade, extinguish arts and sciences, with
the professors of them; in short, to turn our courts, exchanges,
and shops into deserts: and would be full as absurd as the pro-
posal of Horace, where he advises the Romans all in a body to
leave their city, and seek a new seat in some remote part of the
world, by way of cure for the corruption of their manners.
Therefore I think this caution was in itself altogether unneces-
sary (which I have inserted only to prevent all possibility of
caviling), since every candid reader will easily understand my
discourse to be intended only in defense of nominal Christianity;
the other having been for some time wholly laid aside by general
consent, as utterly inconsistent with our present schemes of wealth
and power.
But why we should therefore cast off the name and title of
Christians, although the general opinion and resolution be so vio-
lent for it, I confess I cannot (with submission) apprehend; nor is
the consequence necessary.
However, since the undertakers pro-
pose such wonderful advantages to the nation by this project,
and advance many plausible objections against the system of
Christianity, I shall briefly consider the strength of both, fairly
allow them their greatest weight, and offer such answers as I


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14267
think most reasonable. After which I will beg leave to show
what inconveniences may possibly happen by such an innovation,
in the present posture of our affairs.
First, one great advantage proposed by the abolishing of Christ-
ianity is, that it would very much enlarge and establish liberty
of conscience,- that great bulwark of our nation; and of the
Protestant religion, - which is still too much limited by priest-
craft, notwithstanding all the good intentions of the legislature,
as we have lately found by a severe instance. For it is confi-
dently reported that two young gentlemen of real hopes, bright
wit, and profound judgment, who, upon a thorough examination
of causes and effects, and by the mere force of natural abilities,
without the least tincture of learning, having made a discovery
that there was no God, and generously communicating their
thoughts for the good of the public, were some time ago, by an
unparalleled severity, and upon I know not what obsolete law,
broke for blasphemy. And as it has been wisely observed, if per-
secution once begins, no man alive knows how far it may reach
or where it will end.
GULLIVER AMONG THE PIGMIES
From (Gulliver's Travels)
[The author gives some account of himself and family. His first induce-
ments to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life. Gets safe on
shore in the country of Lilliput. Is made a prisoner and carried up the
country. ]
M
Y FATHER had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the
third of five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in
Cambridge, at fourteen years old, where I resided three
years, and applied myself close to my studies: but the charge of
maintaining me, although I had a very scanty allowance, being
too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice to Mr.
James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I con-
tinued four years: my father now and then sending me small
sums of money, I laid them out in learning navigation, and other
parts of the mathematics useful to those who intend to travel,
as I always believed it would be — some time or other — my for-
tune to do. When I left Mr. Bates I went down to my father,
where, by the assistance of him and my uncle John, and some


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JONATHAN SWIFT
other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty pounds
a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic two
years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voy-
ages.
Soon after my return from Leyden I was recommended by
my good master Mr. Bates to be surgeon to the Swallow, Cap-
tain Abraham Pannel, commander, with whom I continued three
years and a half; making a voyage or two into the Levant, and
some other parts.
When I came back I resolved to settle in
London; to which Mr. Bates my master encouraged me, and by
him I was recommended to several patients. I took part of a
small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my
condition, I married Miss Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr.
Edmund Burton, hosier, in New-gate Street, with whom I received
four hundred pounds for a portion.
But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I
having few friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience
would not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too many
among my brethren. Having therefore consulted with my wife
and some of my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea.
I was surgeon successively in two ships; and made several voy-
ages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, by which I got
some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in
reading the best authors, ancient and modern, - being always pro-
vided with a good number of books,- and when I was ashore, in
observing the manners and dispositions of the people, as well as
learning their language; wherein I had a great facility, by the
strength of my memory.
The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew
weary of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife
and family. I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter-lane, and
from thence to Wapping, hoping to get business among the sail-
ors; but it would not turn to account. After three years' expect-
ation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer
from Captain William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was
making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol
May 4th, 1699; and our voyage at first was very prosperous.
It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader
with the particulars of our adventures in those seas: let it suf-
fice to inform him that in our passage from thence to the East
Indies, we were driven by a violent storm to the northwest of
Van Diemen's Land. By an observation we found ourselves


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14269
the latitude of 30° 2' south. Twelve of our crew were dead by
immoderate labor and ill food; the rest were in a very weak
condition. On the 5th of November, which was the beginning
of summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the sea-
men spied a rock within half a cable's length of the ship; but the
wind was so strong that we were driven directly upon it, and
immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having
let down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the
ship and the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three
leagues, till we were able to work no longer, being already spent
with labor while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted our-
selves to the mercy of the waves; and in about half an hour
the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north. What
became of my companions in the boat, as well as of those who
escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell;
but conclude they were all lost. For my own part, I swam as
Fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide.
I often let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I
was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found myself
within my depth, and by this time the storm was much abated.
The declivity was so small that I walked near a mile before I
got to the shore, which I conjectured was about eight o'clock
in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but
could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least I
was in so weak a condition that I did not observe them.
extremely tired; and with that and the heat of the weather, and
about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left the ship, I
found myself much inclined to sleep.
I lay down on the grass, which was very short and soft, where
I slept sounder than ever I remembered to have done in my life,
and as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I awaked it was
just daylight. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir;
for as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and
legs were strongly fastened on each side to the ground, and my
hair, which was long and thick, tied down in the same manner.
I likewise felt several slender ligatures across my body, from
my armpits to my thighs. I could only look upwards; the sun
began to grow hot, and the light offended my eyes. I heard a
confused noise about me; but in the posture I lay, I could see
nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt something alive
moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over
I was


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JONATHAN SWIFT
my breast, came almost to my chin; when, bending my eyes
downward as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human
creature not six inches high, with a bow and arrow in his hands
and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least forty
more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I
was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud that they all
ran back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told,
were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon
the ground. However, they soon returned; and one of them, who
ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his
hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but
distinct voice, Hekinah degul;” the others repeated the same
words several times, but I then knew not what they meant.
I lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in great un-
easiness. At length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune
to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened
my left arm to the ground; for by lifting it up to my face, I
discovered the methods they had taken to bind me; and at the
same time, with a violent pull, which gave me excessive pain, I
a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair on the left
side, so that I was just able to turn my head about two inches,
But the creatures ran off a second time before I could seize
them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent,
and after it ceased, I heard one of them cry aloud, “Tolgo
«
when in an instant, I felt above an hundred arrows
discharged on my left hand, which pricked me like so many
needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the air, as we
do bombs in Europe, whereof many I suppose fell on my body
(though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I immedi-
ately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows
was over, I fell a-groaning with grief and pain; and then striving
again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger than
the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick me in
the sides; but by good luck I had on me a buff jerkin, which
they could not pierce.
I thought it the most prudent method to lie still; and my
design was to continue so till night, when, my left hand being
already loose, I could easily free myself; and as for the inhabit-
ants, I had reason to believe I might be a match for the greatest
army they could bring against me, if they were all of the same
size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of
phonac: »


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JONATHAN SWIFT
14271
(
me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no
more arrows; but by the noise I heard I knew their numbers
increased: and about four yards from me, over against my right
ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at
work, when, turning my head that way as well as the pegs and
strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and
a half from the ground, capable of holding four of the inhabit-
ants, with two or three ladders to mount it; from whence one of
them, who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long
speech, whereof I understood not one syllable. But I should
have mentioned that before the principal person began his ora-
tion, he cried out three times, « Langro dehul san” (these words
"
and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);
whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and
cut the strings that fastened the left side of my head, which
gave me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing
the person and gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to
be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other three who
attended him: whereof one was a page, that held up his train, and
seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the other
two stood one on each side to support him.
He acted every
part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of threaten-
ings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered in
a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up
my left hand and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for
a witness; and being almost famished with hunger, having not
eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found
the demands of nature so strong upon me that I could not for-
bear showing my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of
decency), by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to sig.
nify that I wanted food.
The hurgo (for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards
learned) understood me very well. He descended from the stage,
and commanded that several ladders should be applied to my
sides; on which above a hundred of the inhabitants mounted,
and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,
which had been provided and sent thither by the king's orders,
upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there
was the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them
by the taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like
those of mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the


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14272
JONATHAN SWIFT
C
wings of a lark. I eat them by two or three at a mouthful, and
took three loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket-bullets.
They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand
marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appetite. I
then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by
my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me: and being
a most ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one
of their largest hogsheads; then rolled it towards my hand, and
beat out the top: I drank it off at a draught, - which I might
well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and tasted like a small
wine of Burgundy, but much more delicious. They brought me
a second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner, and made
signs for more; but they had none to give me. When I had per-
formed these wonders they shouted for joy, and danced upon
my breast, repeating several times, as they did at first, “Hekinah
degul. ” They made me a sign that I should throw down the two
hogsheads; but first warning the people below to stand out of
the way, crying aloud, “Borach mevolah”: and when they saw
the vessels in the air, there was a universal shout of “Hekinah
degul! ”
I confess I was often tempted, while they were passing back-
wards and forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the
first that came in my reach, and dash them against the ground.
But the remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might
not be the worst they could do, and the promise of honor I
made them,- for so I interpreted my submissive behavior,— soon
drove out these imagination Besides, I now considered myself
as bound by the laws of hospitality to a people who had treated
me with so much expense and magnificence. However, in my
thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of
these diminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk
upon my body, while one of my hands was at liberty, without
trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I must
appear to them. After some time, when they observed that I
made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me
person of high rank from his Imperial Majesty. His Excellency,
having mounted on the small of my right leg, advanced forwards
up to my face, with about a dozen of his retinue: and producing
his credentials under the signet-royal, which he applied close to
my eyes, spoke about ten minutes, without any signs of anger
but with a kind of determined resolution, often pointing forwards;
a


## p. 14273 (#467) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14273
I lay.
which as I afterwards found was towards the capital city, about
half a mile distant, whither it was agreed by his Majesty in
a
council that I must be conveyed.
These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived
to a great perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and en-
couragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of learn-
ing. This prince has several machines fixed on wheels, for the
carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his
largest men-of-war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the
woods where the timber grows, and has nem carried on these
engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred
carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to pre-
pare the greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood
raised three inches from the ground, - about seven feet long, and
four wide,- moving upon twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard
was upon the arrival of this engine; which, it seems, set out in
four hours after my landing. It was brought parallel to me as
But the principal difficulty was to raise and place me in
this vehicle.
Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were erected
for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of pack-
thread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages which the
workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and
my legs. Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed
to draw up these cords, by many pulleys fastened on the poles;
and thus, in less than three hours, I was raised and slung into
the engine, and there tied fast. . All this I was told; for while
the whole operation was performing, I lay in a profound sleep,
by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor.
Fifteen hundred of the emperor's largest horses, each about four
inches and a half high, were employed to draw me toward the
metropolis, which as I said was half a mile distant.
About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a
very ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped awhile,
to adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the
young natives had the curiosity to see how I looked when I was
asleep: they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very
softly to my face, one of them- an officer in the guards - put
the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up into my left nos-
tril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three
weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We
XXIV—893
sneeze


## p. 14274 (#468) ##########################################

14274
JONATHAN SWIFT
made a long march the remaining part of the day, and rested at
night with five hundred guards on each side of me, half with
torches and half with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I
should offer to stir. The next morning at sunrise we continued
our march, and arrived within two hundred yards of the city
gates about noon. The emperor, and all his court, came out to
meet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his
Majesty to endanger his person by mounting on my body.
At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an
ancient temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole king-
dom: which, having been polluted some years before by an
unnatural murder, was, according to the zeal of those people,
looked upon as profane; and therefore had been applied to com-
mon use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried away. In
this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate
fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost
two feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side
of the gate was a small window, not above six inches from the
ground: into that on the left side the king's smith conveyed
fourscore and eleven chains, like those that hang to a lady's
watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to my
left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against this temple,
on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet distance,
there was a turret at least five feet high.
Here the emperor
ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have an
opportunity of viewing me,- as I was told, for I could not see
I
them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabit-
ants came out of the town upon the same errand; and in spite
of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten thou-
sand at several times who mounted my body by the help of lad-
ders. But a proclamation was soon issued to forbid it upon pain
of death. When the workmen found that it was impossible
for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me;
whereupon I rose up with as melancholy a disposition as ever I
had in my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people
at seeing me rise and walk are not be expressed. The chains
that held my left leg were about two yards long; and gave me
not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a
semicircle, but being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed
me to creep in and lie at my full length in the temple.


## p. 14275 (#469) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14275
GULLIVER AMONG THE GIANTS
From (Gulliver's Travels)
M
[Gulliver, an English captain, having been shipwrecked in Brobdingnag, a
country of giants, is found by a farmer who gives him for a plaything to his
little daughter Glumdalclitch, nine years old and forty feet tall. ]
Y MISTRESS had a daughter of nine years old, a child of
towardly parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle,
and skillful in dressing her baby. Her mother and she
contrived to fit up the baby's cradle for me against night; the
cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer
placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats.
This was my
bed all the time I stayed with those people; though made more
convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and
make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that
after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she
was able to dress and undress me; though I never gave her
that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She made
me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as could
be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she
constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise
my schoolmistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed to
anything, she told me the name of it in her own tongue; so that
in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to.
She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being
little for her age. She gave me the name of Grildrig, which the
family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word
imports what the Latins call nanunculus, the Italians homuncele-
tino, and the English mannikin. To her I chiefly owe my pres-
ervation in that country; we never parted while I was there: I
called her my Glumdalclitch, or little nurse; and should be guilty
of great ingratitude if I omitted this honorable mention of her
care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my
power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent
but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much rea-
son to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the neighborhood
that my master had found a strange animal in the field, about
the bigness of a splacnuck, but exactly shaped in every part like
a human creature, which it likewise imitated in all its actions:


## p. 14276 (#470) ##########################################

14276
JONATHAN SWIFT
seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already
learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was
tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever
it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion
fairer than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another
farmer who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my
master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of
this story. I was immediately produced and placed upon a table,
where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it
up again, made my reverence to my master's guest, asked him in
his own language how he did, and told him he was welcome,-
just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was
old and dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better;
at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes
appeared like the full moon shining into a chamber at two win-
dows. Our people, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore
me company in laughing; at which the old fellow was fool enough
to be angry and out of countenance. He had the character of
a great miser; and to my misfortune, he well deserved it, by the
cursed advice he gave my master to show me as a sight upon
a market-day in the next town, which was half an hour's riding,
about two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was
some mischief contriving when I observed my master and his
friend whispering long together, sometimes pointing at me; and
my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood some
of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my little
nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked
out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and
fell a-weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some
mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might
squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me
in their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my
nature, how nicely I regarded my honor, and what an indignity
I should conceive it to be exposed for money as a public spectacle
to the meanest of the people. She said her papa
and mamma
had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she found
they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pre-
tended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it
to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm that I was
less concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never
left me, that I should one day recover my liberty: and as to the


## p. 14277 (#471) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14277
as
ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I considered
myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, and that such a
misfortune could never be charged upon me a reproach if
ever I should return to England, since the King of Great Britain
himself, in my condition, must have undergone the same distress.
My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me
in a box the next market-day to the neighboring town, and took
along with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion be-
hind him. The box was close on every side, with a little door
for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet-holes to let in air.
The girl had been so careful as to put the quilt of her baby's
bed into it for me to lie down on. However, I was terribly
shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it were but of
half an hour; for the horse went about forty feet at every step,
and trotted so high that the agitation was equal to the rising
and falling of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent.
Our journey was somewhat farther than from London to St.
Alban's. My master alighted at an inn which he used to fre-
quent; and after consulting a while with the innkeeper, and
making some necessary preparations, he hired the “grultrud," or
crier, to give notice through the town of a strange creature to
be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a splac-
nuck (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six
feet long), and in every part of the body resembling a human
creature,- could speak several words, and perform a hundred
diverting tricks.
I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn,
which might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse
stood on a low stool close to the table, to take care of me and
direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would
suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about
on the table as the girl commanded; she asked me questions as
far as she knew my understanding of the language reached, and
I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several
times to the company, paid my humble respects, said “they were
welcome,” and used some other speeches I had been taught. I
took up a thimble filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had
given me for a cup, and drank their health. I drew out my
hanger, and flourished with it after the manner of fencers in
England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which I exer-
cised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that


## p. 14278 (#472) ##########################################

17278
JONATHAN SWIFT
day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act
over again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weari-
ness and vexation; for those who had seen me made such won-
derful reports that the people were ready to break down the
doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would not
suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent dan-
ger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to
put me out of everybody's reach. However, an unlucky school-
boy aimed a hazel-nut directly at my head, which very narrowly
missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence that it
would have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost
as large as a small pumpion: but I had the satisfaction to see
the young rogue well beaten and turned out of the room.
My master gave public notice that he would show me again
the next market-day; and in the mean time he prepared a more
convenient vehicle for me: which he had reason enough to do;
for I was so tired with my first journey, and with entertaining
company for eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon
my legs or speak a word. It was at least three days before I
recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest at home,
all the neighboring gentlemen, from a hundred miles round, hear.
ing of my fame, came to see me at my master's own house.
There could be no fewer than thirty persons, with their wives
and children (for the country is very populous); and my master
demanded the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at
home, although it were only to a single family: so that for some
time I had but little ease every day of the week (except Wednesday,
which is their Sabbath), although I were not carried to the town.
My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be resolved
to carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom.
Having therefore provided himself with all things necessary for
a long journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of
his wife; and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months
after my arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situate near the
middle of that empire, and about three thousand miles distance
from our house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch
ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about
her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softest
cloth she could get, well quilted underneath; furnished it with
her baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries,
and made everything as convenient as she could. We had no


## p. 14279 (#473) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14279
other company but a boy of the house, who rode after us with
the luggage.
My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the
way; and to step out of the road, for fifty or a hundred miles,
to any village or person of quality's house where he might
expect custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or
eight score miles a day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare
me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse.
She often took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give
me air and show me the country; but always held me fast by a
leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees
broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges; and there was
hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We
were ten weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen
large towns, besides many villages and private families.
On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis,
called in their language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe.
My master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not
far from the royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form,
containing an exact description of my person and parts. He
hired a large room between three and four hundred feet wide.
He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to
act my part; and palisadoed it round three feet from the edge,
and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown
ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I
could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly un-
derstood every word that was spoken to me. Besides I had
learnt their alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sen-
tence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor
while we were at home, and at leisure hours during our journey.
She carried a little book in her pocket not much larger than a
Sanson's Atlas; it was a common treatise for the use of young
girls, giving a short account of their religion: out of this she
taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.


## p. 14280 (#474) ##########################################

14280
JONATHAN SWIFT
THE HOUYHNHNMS
From (Gulliver's Travels)
[The author having been set ashore by a mutinous crew in an unknown
land, falls in with a nondescript animal called the Yahoo, is at length taken
possession of by the Houyhnhnms (horses) and conducted to their home.
The horses mistake him for another sort of Yahoo, and attempt to civilize
him. )
M
ren,
Y PRINCIPAL endeavor was to learn the language: which my
master (for so I shall henceforth call him) and his child-
and every servant of his house, were desirous to
teach me; for they looked upon it as a prodigy that a brute
animal should discover such marks of a rational creature. I
pointed to everything and inquired the name of it, which I wrote
down in my journal-book when I was alone; and corrected my
bad accent by desiring those of the family to pronounce it often.
In this employment a sorrel nag, one of the under-servants, was
very ready to assist me.
In speaking they pronounce through the nose and throat; and
their language approaches nearest to the High Dutch or German
of any I know in Europe, but is much more graceful and signifi-
cant. The Emperor Charles V. made almost the same observa-
tion when he said that “If he were to speak to his horse, it
should be in High Dutch. ”
The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great,
that he spent many hours of his leisure to instruct me.
He was
convinced (as he afterwards told me) that I must be a Yahoo :
but my teachableness, civility, and cleanliness astonished him;
which were qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He
was most perplexed about my clothes: reasoning sometimes with
himself whether they were a part of my body; for I never pulled
them off till the family were asleep, and got them on before
they waked in the morning. My master was eager to learn
“whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of reason
which I discovered in all my actions, and to know my story from
my own mouth; which he hoped he should soon do, by the great
proficiency I made in learning and pronouncing their words and
sentences. ” To help my memory, I formed all I learned into
the English alphabet, and writ the words down, with the transla-
tions. This last after some time I ventured to do in my master's


## p. 14281 (#475) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14281
presence. It cost me much trouble to explain to him what I was
doing, for the inhabitants have not the least idea of books or
literature.
In about ten weeks' time I was able to understand most of
his questions, and in three months could give him some tolerable
answers. He was extremely curious to know “from what part of
the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational
creature; because the Yahoos (whom he saw I exactly resembled
in my head, hands, and face, that were only visible), with some
appearance of cunning, and the strongest disposition to mischief,
were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes. " I
answered that “I came over the sea from a far place, with
many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel, made of
the bodies of trees; that my companions forced me to land on
this coast, and then left me to shift for myself. ” It was with
some difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought
him to understand me. He replied that “I must needs be mis-
taken, or that I said the thing which was not: ” for they have no
word in their language to express lying or falsehood. He knew
it was impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea,
or that a parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither
they pleased upon water.
He was
no Houyhnhnm alive
could make such a vessel, nor would trust Yahoos to manage it.
The word Houyhnhnm, in their tongue, signifies “a horse”;
and in its etymology, “the perfection of nature. ” I told my mas-
ter that "I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as
fast as I could, and hoped in a short time I should be able to
tell him wonders. ” He was pleased to direct his own mare, his
colt and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportu-
nities of instructing me; and every day, for two or three hours,
he was at the same pains himself. Several horses and mares of
quality in the neighborhood came often to our house, upon the
report spread of "a wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a
Houyhnhnm, and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover
some glimmerings of reason. ” These delighted to converse with
me; they put many questions, and received such answers as I
was able to return. By all these advantages I made so great a
progress, that in five months from my arrival I understood what-
ever was spoken, and could express myself tolerably well.
The Houyhnhnms, who came to visit my master out of a de-
sign of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to
sure
»
»


## p. 14282 (#476) ##########################################

14282
JONATHAN SWIFT
This I pres-
-
be a right Yahoo, because my body had a different covering from
others of my kind. They were astonished to observe me without
the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands; but I
discovered that secret to my master, upon an accident which hap-
pened about a fortnight before.
I have already told the reader that every night, when the
family were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover
myself with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that
my master sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his valet.
When he came I was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one
side, and my shirt above my waist. I awakened at the noise he
made, and observed him to deliver his message in some disorder;
after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave
him a very confused account of what he had seen.
ently discovered; for, going as soon as I was dressed to pay my
attendance upon his Honor, he asked me the meaning of what
“
his servant had reported,- that I was not the same thing when I
slept as I appeared to be at other times; that his valet assured
him some part of me was white, some yellow,- at least not so
white, - and some brown. ”
I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to
distinguish myself as much as possible from that cursed race of
Yahoos; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides,
I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out,
which already were in a declining condition, and must be sup-
plied by some contrivance, -- from the hides of Yahoos, or other
brutes, - whereby the whole secret would be known. I there.
fore told my master that in the country whence I came, those
of my kind always covered their bodies with the hairs of cer-
tain animals prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the
inclemencies of air, both hot and cold: of which, as to my own
person, I would give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to
commend me; only desiring his excuse if I did not expose those
parts that nature taught us to conceal. ” He said, “My discourse
was all very strange, but especially the last part: for he could
not understand why nature should teach to conceal what
nature had given; that neither himself nor family were ashamed
of any part of their bodies: but however I might do as I pleased. ”
Whereupon I first unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off; I did
the same with my waistcoat; I drew off my shoes, stockings, and
breeches; I let my shirt down to my waist, and drew up the
us


## p. 14283 (#477) ##########################################

JONATHAN SWIFT
14283
bottom, fastening it like a girdle about my middle, to hide my
nakedness.
My master observed the whole performance with great signs
of curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his
pastern, one piece after another, and examined them diligently;
he then stroked my body very gently, and looked round me
several times: after which he said it was plain I must be a per-
fect Yahoo, but that I differed very much from the rest of my
species in the softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin;
my want of hair in several parts of my body; the shape and
shortness of my claws behind and before; and my affectation of
walking continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see
no more, and gave me leave to put on my clothes again, for I
was shuddering with cold.
I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the
appellation of Yahoo,— an odious animal, for which I had so
utter a hatred and contempt; I begged he would forbear apply-
ing that word to me, and make the same order in his family,
and among his friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested
likewise, that “the secret of my having a false covering to my
body might be known to none but himself, at least as long as
my present clothing should last; for as to what the sorrel nag,
his valet, had observed, his Honor might command him to con-
ceal it. "
All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus
the secret was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I
was forced to supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter
be mentioned. In the mean time he desired “I would go on
with my utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was
more astonished at my capacity for speech and reason than at
the figure of my body, whether it were covered or not”; adding
that he waited with some impatience to hear the wonders
which I promised to tell him. ”
Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to in-
struct me: he brought me into all company, and made them
treat me with civility; "because,” as he told them privately,
“this would put me into good humor, and make me
diverting. ”
Every day, when I waited on him, besides the trouble he was
at in teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning
myself, which I answered as well as I could; and by these means
(
more


## p. 14284 (#478) ##########################################

14284
JONATHAN SWIFT
he had already received some general ideas, though very imper-
fect. It would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I
advanced to a more regular conversation; but the first account
I gave of myself in any order and length was to this purpose: -
That "I came from a very far country, as I already had
attempted to tell him, with about fifty more of my own species;
that we traveled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of
wood, and larger than his Honor's house. " I described the ship
to him in the best terms I could, and explained by the help of
my handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the
wind. “That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore on
this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till
he delivered me from the persecution of those execrable Yahoos. ”
He asked me, "Who made the ship, and how it was possible that
the Houyhnhnms of my country would leave it to the manage-
ment of brutes ? My answer was, that “I durst proceed no
further in my relation unless he would give me his word and
honor that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him
the wonders I had so often promised. ” He agreed; and I went
on by assuring him that the ship was made by creatures like
myself, who in all the countries I had traveled, as well as in my
own, were the only governing rational animals: and that upon
my arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the Houyhn-
hnms act like rational beings as he or his friends could be in
finding some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased to
call a Yahoo; to which I owned my resemblance in every part,
but could not account for their degenerate and brutal nature.
I said further that “If good fortune ever restored me to my
native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,
everybody would believe that I said the thing that was not-
that I invented the story out of my own head; and (with all pos-
sible respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his
promise of not being offended), our countrymen would hardly
think it probable that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding
creature of a nation, and a Yahoo the brute. ”
My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in
his countenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so little
known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to
behave themselves under such circumstances. And I remember,
in frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of
manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of
C


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lying and false representation, it was with much difficulty that
he comprehended what I meant, although he had otherwise a
most acute judgment; for he argued thus: “That the use of
speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive
information of facts; now, if any one said the thing which was
not, these ends were defeated, because I cannot properly be said
to understand him: and I am so far from receiving information
that he leaves me worse than in ignorance; for I am led to
believe a thing black when it is white, and short when it is long. ”
And these were all the notions he had concerning that faculty of
lying, so perfectly well understood and so universally practiced
among human creatures.
To return from this digression. When I asserted that the
Yahoos were the only governing animals in my country, which
my master said was altogether past his conception, he desired to
know whether we “had Houyhnhnms among us, and what was
their employment ? » I told him, “We had great numbers; that
in summer they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in
houses with hay and oats, where Yahoo servants were employed
to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve
them with food, and make their beds. ” “I understand you well,”
said my master: "it is now very plain, from all you have spoken,
that whatever share of reason the Yahoos pretend to, the Houyhn-
hnms are your masters. I heartily wish our Yahoos would be
so tractable. ” I begged his Honor “would please to excuse me
from proceeding any further, because I was very certain that the
account he expected from me would be highly displeasing. ” But
he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and
the worst. I told him he should be obeyed. ” I owned that
“the Houyhnhnms among us, whom we called horses, were the
most generous and comely animal we had: that they excelled
in strength and swiftness, and when they belonged to persons of
quality, were employed in traveling, racing, or drawing chariots;
they were treated with much kindness and care, till they fell
into diseases, or became foundered in the feet: but then they
were sold, and used to all kinds of drudgery till they died: after
which their skins were stripped, and sold for what they were
worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of
prey. But the common race of horses had not so good fortune;
being kept by farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who
put them to greater labor and fed them worse. ” I described as


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JONATHAN SWIFT
well as I could our way of riding; the shape and use of a bridle,
a saddle, a spur, and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added
that we fastened plates of a certain hard substance called iron
at the bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being
broken by the stony ways on which we often traveled.
My master, after some expressions of great indignation, won-
dered “how we dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's back; for
he was sure that the weakest servant in his house would be able
to shake off the strongest Yahoo, or by lying down and rolling
on his back, squeeze the brute to death. ” I answered that «Our
horses were trained up, from three or four years old, to the
several uses we intended them for: that if any of them proved
intolerably vicious, they were employed for carriages; that they
were severely beaten, while they were young, for any mischievous
tricks; that the males designed for the common use of riding
or draught were generally castrated about two years after their
birth, to take down their spirits, and make them more tame and
gentle: that they were indeed sensible of rewards and punish-
ments; but his Honor would please to consider that they had
not the least tincture of reason, any more than the Yahoos in
this country. ”
It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions to give my
master a right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not
abound in variety of words, because their wants and passions are
fewer than among us. But it is impossible to express his noble
resentment at our savage tre ment of the Houyhnhnm race;
particularly after I had explained the manner and use of cas-
trating horses among us to hinder them from propagating their
kind, and to render them more servile. He said, “If it were
possible there could be any country where Yahoos alone were
endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal;
because reason in time will always prevail against brutal strength.
But considering the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine,
he thought no creature of equal bulk was so ill contrived for
employing that reason in the common offices of life;” whereupon
he desired to know whether “those among whom I lived resem.
bled me or the Yahoos of his country. ” I assured him that “I
was as well shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the
females, were much more soft and tender, and the skins of the
latter generally as white as milk. ” He said, “I differed indeed
from other Yahoos, being much more cleanly and not altogether


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(
-
so deformed; but in point of real advantage, he thought I differed
for the worse. That my nails were of no use either to my fore
or hinder feet: as to my fore-feet, he could not properly call
them by that name, for he never observed me to walk upon
them, – that they were too soft to bear the ground; that I gener-
ally went with them uncovered; neither was the covering I some-
times wore on them of the same shape or so strong as that on
my feet behind. That I could not walk with any security, for
if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably fall. ” He
then began to find fault with other parts of my body:— «The
fatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine eyes
placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side
without turning my head; that I was not able to feed myself
without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth, and therefore
nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity. He
knew not what could be the use of those several clefts and divis-
ions in my feet behind, - that these were too soft to bear the
hardness and sharpness of stones, without a covering made from
the skin of some other brute; that my whole body wanted a
fence against heat and cold, which I was forced to put on and
off every day with tediousness and trouble. And lastly, that
he observed every animal in this country naturally to abhor the
Yahoos; whom the weaker avoided, and the stronger drove from
them. So that, supposing us to have the gift of reason, he
could not see how it were possible to cure that natural antipathy
which every creature discovered against us; nor, consequently,
,
how we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he
would, as he said, “debate the matter no further; because he
was more desirous to know my story, the country where I was
born, and the several actions and events of my life before I came
hither. »
-
THE STRULDBRUGS
From (Gulliver's Travels)
0
NE day, in much good company [among the Luggnaggians)
I was asked by a person of quality, “whether I had seen
any of their struldbrugs, or immortals ? » I said, "I had
not;” and desired he would explain to me what he meant by
such an appellation, applied to a mortal creature. He told me


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(
(c
that "sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born
in a family, with a red circular spot on the forehead, directly
over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it
should never die. The spot," as he described it, was about the
compass of a silver threepence, but in the course of time grew
larger, and changed its color: for at twelve years of age it be-
came green, so continued till five-and-twenty, then turned a deep
blue; at five-and-forty it grew coal-black, and as large as an
English shilling, but never admitted any further alteration. ”
After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the
struldbrugs among them. He said, “They commonly acted like
mortals till about thirty years old; after which by degrees they
grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came
to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession; for
otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species
born in an age, they were too few to form a general observation
by. When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned the
extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the .
follies and infirmities of other old men, but many more which
arose from the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not
only opinionated, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but
incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which
never descended below their grandchildren, Envy and impotent
desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against
which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the
younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleas-
ure; and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine
that others are gone to a harbor of rest to which they themselves
never can hope to arrive.