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World's Greatest Books - Volume 17 - Poetry and Drama
I must ask you to
pardon my ignorance.
SGANARELLE: There is no harm done. You are not
obliged to be as clever as we are.
GERONTE: Certainly not. But what do you think,
monsieur, ought to be done for this complaint?
SGANARELLE: My advice is that she should be put to
bed, and, for a remedy, you must see that she takes plenty
of bread soaked in wine.
GERONTE: Why so, monsieur?
SGANARELLE: Because in bread and wine mixed together
there is a sympathetic virtue which causes speech.
Don't you know that they give nothing else to parrots,
and that they learn to speak by being fed on this diet?
GERONTE: That is true. What a great man you are!
Quick, bring plenty of bread and wine.
SGANARELLE: I shall come back at night to see how
she is getting on.
GERONTE: Just wait a moment, please.
SGANARELLE: What do you want?
GERONTE: To give you your fee, monsieur.
SGANARELLE (_holding out his hand from under his
gown, while Geronte opens his purse_): I shall not take it,
monsieur.
GERONTE: I beseech you.
SGANARELLE: You are jesting.
GERONTE: That is settled.
SGANARELLE: I will not.
GERONTE: What!
SGANARELLE: I don't practise for money.
GERONTE: I am sure you don't.
SGANARELLE (_after having taken the money_): Is it
good weight?
GERONTE: Yes, monsieur.
SGANARELLE: I am not a mercenary doctor.
GERONTE: I know that.
SGANARELLE: Self-interest is not my motive.
GERONTE: I never for a moment thought it was.
[_Exit_.
ACT II
Leandre, between whom and Lucinde a mutual attachment subsists, has
an interview with Sganarelle, at which he implores the latter's
assistance to obtain a meeting with his mistress, and tells him that
her dumbness is a mere trick--a sham illness which she has feigned
to free herself from a distasteful marriage into which her father
wants to hurry her. In consideration of a purse of gold which Leandre
gives him, Sganarelle introduces the young lover into M. Geronte's
house as his apothecary, and when Leandre asks whether it is not
necessary to know five or six long medical words with which to lard
his conversation, ridicules the notion, and says that a medical dress
is quite sufficient disguise. "I am resolved to stick to physic all my
life," says Sganarelle. "I find that it is the best line of all; for
whatever we do, right or wrong, we are paid, all the same. Blunders
make no odds to us; we cut away the material we have to work with as
we choose. A shoemaker, in making a pair of shoes, cannot spoil a
scrap of leather without having to pay for it; but in this business we
can spoil a man without its costing us a cent. The mistakes are never
put down to our account; it is always the fault of the fellow who
dies. "
[_Enter_ JACQUELINE, LUCINDE, GERONTE, LEANDRE _and_ SGANARELLE.
JACQUELINE: Here's your daughter, monsieur. She
wishes to walk a bit.
SGANARELLE: It will do her good. Go to her, Mr.
Apothecary, and feel her pulse, and I will consult with
you presently about her malady. (_At this point he draws_
GERONTE _to one side of the stage, puts one arm on his
shoulders, places his hand under his chin, and makes him
turn towards him, whenever_ GERONTE _wants to see what
is going on between his daughter and the apothecary,
while he holds the following discourse with him to keep
his attention_:) Monsieur, it is a great and subtle question
among doctors whether women are easier to cure
than men. I beg you please listen to this. Some say
"no," some say "yes. " I say both "yes" and "no";
for as the incongruity of the opaque humours which are
found in the natural temperament of women causes the
animal side always to struggle for mastery over the
spiritual, we find that the inequality of their opinions
depends on the oblique motion of the circle of the moon;
and as the sun----
LUCINDE: NO, I can never change my feelings.
GERONTE: Hark! My daughter speaks! O the great
virtue of physic! How deeply am I indebted to you,
monsieur, for this marvellous cure!
SGANARELLE (_walking about the stage, wiping his
forehead)_: It is a complaint that has given me much
trouble.
LUCINDE: Yes, father, I have recovered my speech;
but I have recovered it only to tell you that I will never
have any other husband than Leandre.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE: Nothing will shake the resolution I have
taken.
GERONTE: What----
LUCINDE: All your excellent reasons will be in vain.
GERONTE: If----
LUCINDE: All your talk will have no effect.
GERONTE: I----
LUCINDE: It is a subject on which I am quite determined.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE: No paternal power can force me to marry
against my will.
GERONTE: I have----
LUCINDE: You can make every effort you like.
GERONTE: It----
LUCINDE: My heart cannot submit to such a tyranny.
GERONTE: There----
LUCINDE: And I will sooner throw myself into a convent
than marry a man I don't love.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE (_speaking in deafening tone of voice_): It
is no use. You waste your time. I will not do anything
of the kind. I am resolved.
GERONTE: Ah! What a wildness of speech! I beg
you, monsieur, to make her dumb again.
SGANARELLE: That is impossible. All that I can do
for you is to make you deaf, if you like.
GERONTE: You shall marry Horace this very evening.
LUCINDE: I will sooner marry death.
SGANARELLE: Let me take this disease in hand. It
is a complaint that has got hold of her, and I know the
remedy to apply.
GERONTE: Is it possible that you can cure this mental
malady also?
SGANARELLE: Yes; let me manage it. I have remedies
for everything, and our apothecary is the man for
this cure. (_He calls the apothecary, and speaks to him_. )
You see that the passion she has for this Leandre is quite
against the wishes of her father, and that it is necessary
to find a prompt remedy for the evil, which will only
become worse by delay. For my part, I see but one
remedy, a dose of purgative flight suitably mixed with
two drachms of matrimony in pills. Go and take a little
turn in the garden with her to prepare the humours,
while I talk here with her father; but, above all, lose
no time. Apply the remedy at once--apply the specific
remedy.
[_Exeunt_ LEANDRE _and_ LUCINDE. _Enter_ LUCAS _and_
MARTINE.
LUCAS: Your daughter has run away with Leandre.
He was the apothecary, and this is the doctor who has
performed the operation.
GERONTE: Quick, fetch the police, and prevent him
from going off! Oh, traitor, I will have you punished
by law.
LUCAS: You shall hang for this, doctor! Don't stir a
step from here!
[_Re-enter_ LEANDRE _and_ LUCINDE.
LEANDRE: Monsieur, I appear before you as Leandre,
and to restore Lucinde to your authority. We intended
to go off and to get married, but this undertaking has
given place to a more honourable proceeding. It is only
from your hands that I will receive Lucinde. I have
to tell you, monsieur, that I have just received letters
from which I learn that my uncle is dead, and that I am
the heir to all his property.
GERONTE: Monsieur, your virtue merits every consideration,
and I give you my daughter with the greatest
pleasure in the world.
SGANARELLE: Physic has had a narrow escape.
MARTINE: Since you are not going to be hanged, you
may thank me for making you a doctor. It was I who
gained you that honour.
SGANARELLE: I forgive you the beating because of the
dignity to which you have raised me, but be prepared
henceforth to show great respect towards a man of my
consequence; and remember that a doctor's anger is
more to be feared than folk imagine.
(MOLIERE: _Continued in Vol. XVIII_)
_Printed in the United States of America_
FOOTNOTES:
[AD] Moliere, whose real name was Jean Baptiste Poquelin, the
name Moliere not having been assumed until he had commenced authorship,
was born at Paris, January 15, 1622. Almost nothing is known of his
early life, except that in his fourteenth year he was sent to the
Jesuit College de Clermont, in Paris, and that later he studied law. In
1645 he suddenly appeared upon the stage as a member of a company of
strolling players, and later, through the recommendation of influential
friends, his company gained permission to act before the King. His
comedies soon placed him in the front rank of French dramatists, and he
is now regarded as perhaps the greatest of all comic dramatists. Of all
the learned classes that fell under Moliere's merciless lash, none came
so completely as the profession of medicine. This is especially the
case in "The Doctor in Spite of Himself" ("Lie Medecin Malgre Lui"),
which appeared in June, 1666, and in which Moliere himself played the
role of Sganarelle.
The piece was originally acted with the "Misanthrope," but its
immediate and pronounced success justified its being put on the bill
alone. Both in conception and in motive the "Doctor" is frankly
farcical, yet the lines abound in delicious satire, and on occasions
melt from sheer buffoonery into graceful comedy. Moliere died on
February 17, 1673.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The World's Greatest Books -- Volume
17 -- Poetry and Drama, by Various
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pardon my ignorance.
SGANARELLE: There is no harm done. You are not
obliged to be as clever as we are.
GERONTE: Certainly not. But what do you think,
monsieur, ought to be done for this complaint?
SGANARELLE: My advice is that she should be put to
bed, and, for a remedy, you must see that she takes plenty
of bread soaked in wine.
GERONTE: Why so, monsieur?
SGANARELLE: Because in bread and wine mixed together
there is a sympathetic virtue which causes speech.
Don't you know that they give nothing else to parrots,
and that they learn to speak by being fed on this diet?
GERONTE: That is true. What a great man you are!
Quick, bring plenty of bread and wine.
SGANARELLE: I shall come back at night to see how
she is getting on.
GERONTE: Just wait a moment, please.
SGANARELLE: What do you want?
GERONTE: To give you your fee, monsieur.
SGANARELLE (_holding out his hand from under his
gown, while Geronte opens his purse_): I shall not take it,
monsieur.
GERONTE: I beseech you.
SGANARELLE: You are jesting.
GERONTE: That is settled.
SGANARELLE: I will not.
GERONTE: What!
SGANARELLE: I don't practise for money.
GERONTE: I am sure you don't.
SGANARELLE (_after having taken the money_): Is it
good weight?
GERONTE: Yes, monsieur.
SGANARELLE: I am not a mercenary doctor.
GERONTE: I know that.
SGANARELLE: Self-interest is not my motive.
GERONTE: I never for a moment thought it was.
[_Exit_.
ACT II
Leandre, between whom and Lucinde a mutual attachment subsists, has
an interview with Sganarelle, at which he implores the latter's
assistance to obtain a meeting with his mistress, and tells him that
her dumbness is a mere trick--a sham illness which she has feigned
to free herself from a distasteful marriage into which her father
wants to hurry her. In consideration of a purse of gold which Leandre
gives him, Sganarelle introduces the young lover into M. Geronte's
house as his apothecary, and when Leandre asks whether it is not
necessary to know five or six long medical words with which to lard
his conversation, ridicules the notion, and says that a medical dress
is quite sufficient disguise. "I am resolved to stick to physic all my
life," says Sganarelle. "I find that it is the best line of all; for
whatever we do, right or wrong, we are paid, all the same. Blunders
make no odds to us; we cut away the material we have to work with as
we choose. A shoemaker, in making a pair of shoes, cannot spoil a
scrap of leather without having to pay for it; but in this business we
can spoil a man without its costing us a cent. The mistakes are never
put down to our account; it is always the fault of the fellow who
dies. "
[_Enter_ JACQUELINE, LUCINDE, GERONTE, LEANDRE _and_ SGANARELLE.
JACQUELINE: Here's your daughter, monsieur. She
wishes to walk a bit.
SGANARELLE: It will do her good. Go to her, Mr.
Apothecary, and feel her pulse, and I will consult with
you presently about her malady. (_At this point he draws_
GERONTE _to one side of the stage, puts one arm on his
shoulders, places his hand under his chin, and makes him
turn towards him, whenever_ GERONTE _wants to see what
is going on between his daughter and the apothecary,
while he holds the following discourse with him to keep
his attention_:) Monsieur, it is a great and subtle question
among doctors whether women are easier to cure
than men. I beg you please listen to this. Some say
"no," some say "yes. " I say both "yes" and "no";
for as the incongruity of the opaque humours which are
found in the natural temperament of women causes the
animal side always to struggle for mastery over the
spiritual, we find that the inequality of their opinions
depends on the oblique motion of the circle of the moon;
and as the sun----
LUCINDE: NO, I can never change my feelings.
GERONTE: Hark! My daughter speaks! O the great
virtue of physic! How deeply am I indebted to you,
monsieur, for this marvellous cure!
SGANARELLE (_walking about the stage, wiping his
forehead)_: It is a complaint that has given me much
trouble.
LUCINDE: Yes, father, I have recovered my speech;
but I have recovered it only to tell you that I will never
have any other husband than Leandre.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE: Nothing will shake the resolution I have
taken.
GERONTE: What----
LUCINDE: All your excellent reasons will be in vain.
GERONTE: If----
LUCINDE: All your talk will have no effect.
GERONTE: I----
LUCINDE: It is a subject on which I am quite determined.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE: No paternal power can force me to marry
against my will.
GERONTE: I have----
LUCINDE: You can make every effort you like.
GERONTE: It----
LUCINDE: My heart cannot submit to such a tyranny.
GERONTE: There----
LUCINDE: And I will sooner throw myself into a convent
than marry a man I don't love.
GERONTE: But----
LUCINDE (_speaking in deafening tone of voice_): It
is no use. You waste your time. I will not do anything
of the kind. I am resolved.
GERONTE: Ah! What a wildness of speech! I beg
you, monsieur, to make her dumb again.
SGANARELLE: That is impossible. All that I can do
for you is to make you deaf, if you like.
GERONTE: You shall marry Horace this very evening.
LUCINDE: I will sooner marry death.
SGANARELLE: Let me take this disease in hand. It
is a complaint that has got hold of her, and I know the
remedy to apply.
GERONTE: Is it possible that you can cure this mental
malady also?
SGANARELLE: Yes; let me manage it. I have remedies
for everything, and our apothecary is the man for
this cure. (_He calls the apothecary, and speaks to him_. )
You see that the passion she has for this Leandre is quite
against the wishes of her father, and that it is necessary
to find a prompt remedy for the evil, which will only
become worse by delay. For my part, I see but one
remedy, a dose of purgative flight suitably mixed with
two drachms of matrimony in pills. Go and take a little
turn in the garden with her to prepare the humours,
while I talk here with her father; but, above all, lose
no time. Apply the remedy at once--apply the specific
remedy.
[_Exeunt_ LEANDRE _and_ LUCINDE. _Enter_ LUCAS _and_
MARTINE.
LUCAS: Your daughter has run away with Leandre.
He was the apothecary, and this is the doctor who has
performed the operation.
GERONTE: Quick, fetch the police, and prevent him
from going off! Oh, traitor, I will have you punished
by law.
LUCAS: You shall hang for this, doctor! Don't stir a
step from here!
[_Re-enter_ LEANDRE _and_ LUCINDE.
LEANDRE: Monsieur, I appear before you as Leandre,
and to restore Lucinde to your authority. We intended
to go off and to get married, but this undertaking has
given place to a more honourable proceeding. It is only
from your hands that I will receive Lucinde. I have
to tell you, monsieur, that I have just received letters
from which I learn that my uncle is dead, and that I am
the heir to all his property.
GERONTE: Monsieur, your virtue merits every consideration,
and I give you my daughter with the greatest
pleasure in the world.
SGANARELLE: Physic has had a narrow escape.
MARTINE: Since you are not going to be hanged, you
may thank me for making you a doctor. It was I who
gained you that honour.
SGANARELLE: I forgive you the beating because of the
dignity to which you have raised me, but be prepared
henceforth to show great respect towards a man of my
consequence; and remember that a doctor's anger is
more to be feared than folk imagine.
(MOLIERE: _Continued in Vol. XVIII_)
_Printed in the United States of America_
FOOTNOTES:
[AD] Moliere, whose real name was Jean Baptiste Poquelin, the
name Moliere not having been assumed until he had commenced authorship,
was born at Paris, January 15, 1622. Almost nothing is known of his
early life, except that in his fourteenth year he was sent to the
Jesuit College de Clermont, in Paris, and that later he studied law. In
1645 he suddenly appeared upon the stage as a member of a company of
strolling players, and later, through the recommendation of influential
friends, his company gained permission to act before the King. His
comedies soon placed him in the front rank of French dramatists, and he
is now regarded as perhaps the greatest of all comic dramatists. Of all
the learned classes that fell under Moliere's merciless lash, none came
so completely as the profession of medicine. This is especially the
case in "The Doctor in Spite of Himself" ("Lie Medecin Malgre Lui"),
which appeared in June, 1666, and in which Moliere himself played the
role of Sganarelle.
The piece was originally acted with the "Misanthrope," but its
immediate and pronounced success justified its being put on the bill
alone. Both in conception and in motive the "Doctor" is frankly
farcical, yet the lines abound in delicious satire, and on occasions
melt from sheer buffoonery into graceful comedy. Moliere died on
February 17, 1673.
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