No More Learning

She lifted the letter, and seemed to peruse it; and
when she came to the signature she sighed: yet still I found she had not
gathered its import, for, upon my desiring to hear her reply, she merely
pointed to the name, and gazed at me with mournful and questioning
eagerness.

'Well, he wishes to see you,' said I, guessing her need of an
interpreter. 'He's in the garden by this time, and impatient to know
what answer I shall bring. '

As I spoke, I observed a large dog lying on the sunny grass beneath raise
its ears as if about to bark, and then smoothing them back, announce, by
a wag of the tail, that some one approached whom it did not consider a
stranger. Mrs. Linton bent forward, and listened breathlessly. The
minute after a step traversed the hall; the open house was too tempting
for Heathcliff to resist walking in: most likely he supposed that I was
inclined to shirk my promise, and so resolved to trust to his own
audacity. With straining eagerness Catherine gazed towards the entrance
of her chamber. He did not hit the right room directly: she motioned me
to admit him, but he found it out ere I could reach the door, and in a
stride or two was at her side, and had her grasped in his arms.

He neither spoke nor loosed his hold for some five minutes, during which
period he bestowed more kisses than ever he gave in his life before, I
daresay: but then my mistress had kissed him first, and I plainly saw
that he could hardly bear, for downright agony, to look into her face!
The same conviction had stricken him as me, from the instant he beheld
her, that there was no prospect of ultimate recovery there--she was
fated, sure to die.

'Oh, Cathy! Oh, my life! how can I bear it? ' was the first sentence he
uttered, in a tone that did not seek to disguise his despair. And now he
stared at her so earnestly that I thought the very intensity of his gaze
would bring tears into his eyes; but they burned with anguish: they did
not melt.

'What now? ' said Catherine, leaning back, and returning his look with a
suddenly clouded brow: her humour was a mere vane for constantly varying
caprices. 'You and Edgar have broken my heart, Heathcliff! And you both
come to bewail the deed to me, as if you were the people to be pitied! I
shall not pity you, not I. You have killed me--and thriven on it, I
think. How strong you are! How many years do you mean to live after I
am gone? '

Heathcliff had knelt on one knee to embrace her; he attempted to rise,
but she seized his hair, and kept him down.

'I wish I could hold you,' she continued, bitterly, 'till we were both
dead! I shouldn't care what you suffered. I care nothing for your
sufferings. Why shouldn't you suffer? I do! Will you forget me? Will
you be happy when I am in the earth? Will you say twenty years hence,
"That's the grave of Catherine Earnshaw? I loved her long ago, and was
wretched to lose her; but it is past. I've loved many others since: my
children are dearer to me than she was; and, at death, I shall not
rejoice that I am going to her: I shall be sorry that I must leave
them! " Will you say so, Heathcliff? '

'Don't torture me till I'm as mad as yourself,' cried he, wrenching his
head free, and grinding his teeth.

The two, to a cool spectator, made a strange and fearful picture. Well
might Catherine deem that heaven would be a land of exile to her, unless
with her mortal body she cast away her moral character also. Her present
countenance had a wild vindictiveness in its white cheek, and a bloodless
lip and scintillating eye; and she retained in her closed fingers a
portion of the locks she had been grasping. As to her companion, while
raising himself with one hand, he had taken her arm with the other; and
so inadequate was his stock of gentleness to the requirements of her
condition, that on his letting go I saw four distinct impressions left
blue in the colourless skin.

'Are you possessed with a devil,' he pursued, savagely, 'to talk in that
manner to me when you are dying? Do you reflect that all those words
will be branded in my memory, and eating deeper eternally after you have
left me? You know you lie to say I have killed you: and, Catherine, you
know that I could as soon forget you as my existence! Is it not
sufficient for your infernal selfishness, that while you are at peace I
shall writhe in the torments of hell? '

'I shall not be at peace,' moaned Catherine, recalled to a sense of
physical weakness by the violent, unequal throbbing of her heart, which
beat visibly and audibly under this excess of agitation. She said
nothing further till the paroxysm was over; then she continued, more
kindly--

'I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have, Heathcliff. I only
wish us never to be parted: and should a word of mine distress you
hereafter, think I feel the same distress underground, and for my own
sake, forgive me! Come here and kneel down again! You never harmed me
in your life. Nay, if you nurse anger, that will be worse to remember
than my harsh words! Won't you come here again? Do! '

Heathcliff went to the back of her chair, and leant over, but not so far
as to let her see his face, which was livid with emotion. She bent round
to look at him; he would not permit it: turning abruptly, he walked to
the fireplace, where he stood, silent, with his back towards us. Mrs.
Linton's glance followed him suspiciously: every movement woke a new
sentiment in her. After a pause and a prolonged gaze, she resumed;
addressing me in accents of indignant disappointment:--

'Oh, you see, Nelly, he would not relent a moment to keep me out of the
grave. _That_ is how I'm loved! Well, never mind. That is not _my_
Heathcliff. I shall love mine yet; and take him with me: he's in my
soul. And,' added she musingly, 'the thing that irks me most is this
shattered prison, after all. I'm tired of being enclosed here. I'm
wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not
seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of
an aching heart: but really with it, and in it. Nelly, you think you are
better and more fortunate than I; in full health and strength: you are
sorry for me--very soon that will be altered. I shall be sorry for
_you_. I shall be incomparably beyond and above you all. I _wonder_ he
won't be near me! ' She went on to herself. 'I thought he wished it.
Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now. Do come to me,
Heathcliff. '

In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair.
At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate.
His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast
heaved convulsively. An instant they held asunder, and then how they met
I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they
were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be
released alive: in fact, to my eyes, she seemed directly insensible. He
flung himself into the nearest seat, and on my approaching hurriedly to
ascertain if she had fainted, he gnashed at me, and foamed like a mad
dog, and gathered her to him with greedy jealousy. I did not feel as if
I were in the company of a creature of my own species: it appeared that
he would not understand, though I spoke to him; so I stood off, and held
my tongue, in great perplexity.

A movement of Catherine's relieved me a little presently: she put up her
hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her; while
he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly--

'You teach me now how cruel you've been--cruel and false. _Why_ did you
despise me? _Why_ did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one
word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you
may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight
you--they'll damn you. You loved me--then what _right_ had you to leave
me? What right--answer me--for the poor fancy you felt for Linton?
Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan
could inflict would have parted us, _you_, of your own will, did it. I
have not broken your heart--_you_ have broken it; and in breaking it, you
have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want
to live? What kind of living will it be when you--oh, God! would _you_
like to live with your soul in the grave? '

'Let me alone. Let me alone,' sobbed Catherine. 'If I've done wrong,
I'm dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid
you! I forgive you. Forgive me! '

'It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted
hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes! I
forgive what you have done to me. I love _my_ murderer--but _yours_! How
can I? '

They were silent--their faces hid against each other, and washed by each
other's tears. At least, I suppose the weeping was on both sides; as it
seemed Heathcliff could weep on a great occasion like this.

I grew very uncomfortable, meanwhile; for the afternoon wore fast away,
the man whom I had sent off returned from his errand, and I could
distinguish, by the shine of the western sun up the valley, a concourse
thickening outside Gimmerton chapel porch.

'Service is over,' I announced. 'My master will be here in half an
hour. '

Heathcliff groaned a curse, and strained Catherine closer: she never
moved.

Ere long I perceived a group of the servants passing up the road towards
the kitchen wing. Mr. Linton was not far behind; he opened the gate
himself and sauntered slowly up, probably enjoying the lovely afternoon
that breathed as soft as summer.

'Now he is here,' I exclaimed. 'For heaven's sake, hurry down! You'll
not meet any one on the front stairs. Do be quick; and stay among the
trees till he is fairly in. '

'I must go, Cathy,' said Heathcliff, seeking to extricate himself from
his companion's arms. 'But if I live, I'll see you again before you are
asleep. I won't stray five yards from your window. '

'You must not go! ' she answered, holding him as firmly as her strength
allowed. 'You _shall_ not, I tell you. '

'For one hour,' he pleaded earnestly.

'Not for one minute,' she replied.

'I _must_--Linton will be up immediately,' persisted the alarmed
intruder.

He would have risen, and unfixed her fingers by the act--she clung fast,
gasping: there was mad resolution in her face.

'No! ' she shrieked. 'Oh, don't, don't go. It is the last time! Edgar
will not hurt us. Heathcliff, I shall die! I shall die! '

'Damn the fool! There he is,' cried Heathcliff, sinking back into his
seat. 'Hush, my darling! Hush, hush, Catherine! I'll stay. If he shot
me so, I'd expire with a blessing on my lips. '

And there they were fast again. I heard my master mounting the
stairs--the cold sweat ran from my forehead: I was horrified.

'Are you going to listen to her ravings? ' I said, passionately. 'She
does not know what she says. Will you ruin her, because she has not wit
to help herself? Get up! You could be free instantly. That is the most
diabolical deed that ever you did. We are all done for--master,
mistress, and servant. '

I wrung my hands, and cried out; and Mr. Linton hastened his step at the
noise. In the midst of my agitation, I was sincerely glad to observe
that Catherine's arms had fallen relaxed, and her head hung down.

'She's fainted, or dead,' I thought: 'so much the better. Far better
that she should be dead, than lingering a burden and a misery-maker to
all about her. '

Edgar sprang to his unbidden guest, blanched with astonishment and rage.
What he meant to do I cannot tell; however, the other stopped all
demonstrations, at once, by placing the lifeless-looking form in his
arms.

'Look there! ' he said. 'Unless you be a fiend, help her first--then you
shall speak to me! '

He walked into the parlour, and sat down. Mr. Linton summoned me, and
with great difficulty, and after resorting to many means, we managed to
restore her to sensation; but she was all bewildered; she sighed, and
moaned, and knew nobody. Edgar, in his anxiety for her, forgot her hated
friend. I did not. I went, at the earliest opportunity, and besought
him to depart; affirming that Catherine was better, and he should hear
from me in the morning how she passed the night.

'I shall not refuse to go out of doors,' he answered; 'but I shall stay
in the garden: and, Nelly, mind you keep your word to-morrow. I shall be
under those larch-trees. Mind! or I pay another visit, whether Linton be
in or not. '

He sent a rapid glance through the half-open door of the chamber, and,
ascertaining that what I stated was apparently true, delivered the house
of his luckless presence.




CHAPTER XVI


About twelve o'clock that night was born the Catherine you saw at
Wuthering Heights: a puny, seven-months' child; and two hours after the
mother died, having never recovered sufficient consciousness to miss
Heathcliff, or know Edgar. The latter's distraction at his bereavement
is a subject too painful to be dwelt on; its after-effects showed how
deep the sorrow sunk. A great addition, in my eyes, was his being left
without an heir. I bemoaned that, as I gazed on the feeble orphan; and I
mentally abused old Linton for (what was only natural partiality) the
securing his estate to his own daughter, instead of his son's. An
unwelcomed infant it was, poor thing! It might have wailed out of life,
and nobody cared a morsel, during those first hours of existence. We
redeemed the neglect afterwards; but its beginning was as friendless as
its end is likely to be.

Next morning--bright and cheerful out of doors--stole softened in through
the blinds of the silent room, and suffused the couch and its occupant
with a mellow, tender glow. Edgar Linton had his head laid on the
pillow, and his eyes shut. His young and fair features were almost as
deathlike as those of the form beside him, and almost as fixed: but _his_
was the hush of exhausted anguish, and _hers_ of perfect peace. Her brow
smooth, her lids closed, her lips wearing the expression of a smile; no
angel in heaven could be more beautiful than she appeared. And I partook
of the infinite calm in which she lay: my mind was never in a holier
frame than while I gazed on that untroubled image of Divine rest. I
instinctively echoed the words she had uttered a few hours before:
'Incomparably beyond and above us all! Whether still on earth or now in
heaven, her spirit is at home with God! '

I don't know if it be a peculiarity in me, but I am seldom otherwise than
happy while watching in the chamber of death, should no frenzied or
despairing mourner share the duty with me. I see a repose that neither
earth nor hell can break, and I feel an assurance of the endless and
shadowless hereafter--the Eternity they have entered--where life is
boundless in its duration, and love in its sympathy, and joy in its
fulness. I noticed on that occasion how much selfishness there is even
in a love like Mr. Linton's, when he so regretted Catherine's blessed
release! To be sure, one might have doubted, after the wayward and
impatient existence she had led, whether she merited a haven of peace at
last. One might doubt in seasons of cold reflection; but not then, in
the presence of her corpse. It asserted its own tranquillity, which
seemed a pledge of equal quiet to its former inhabitant.

Do you believe such people are happy in the other world, sir? I'd give a
great deal to know.

I declined answering Mrs. Dean's question, which struck me as something
heterodox. She proceeded:

Retracing the course of Catherine Linton, I fear we have no right to
think she is; but we'll leave her with her Maker.
The master looked asleep, and I ventured soon after sunrise to quit the
room and steal out to the pure refreshing air. The servants thought me
gone to shake off the drowsiness of my protracted watch; in reality, my
chief motive was seeing Mr. Heathcliff. If he had remained among the
larches all night, he would have heard nothing of the stir at the Grange;
unless, perhaps, he might catch the gallop of the messenger going to
Gimmerton. If he had come nearer, he would probably be aware, from the
lights flitting to and fro, and the opening and shutting of the outer
doors, that all was not right within. I wished, yet feared, to find him.
I felt the terrible news must be told, and I longed to get it over; but
how to do it I did not know. He was there--at least, a few yards further
in the park; leant against an old ash-tree, his hat off, and his hair
soaked with the dew that had gathered on the budded branches, and fell
pattering round him. He had been standing a long time in that position,
for I saw a pair of ousels passing and repassing scarcely three feet from
him, busy in building their nest, and regarding his proximity no more
than that of a piece of timber. They flew off at my approach, and he
raised his eyes and spoke:--'She's dead! ' he said; 'I've not waited for
you to learn that. Put your handkerchief away--don't snivel before me.
Damn you all! she wants none of your tears! '

I was weeping as much for him as her: we do sometimes pity creatures that
have none of the feeling either for themselves or others. When I first
looked into his face, I perceived that he had got intelligence of the
catastrophe; and a foolish notion struck me that his heart was quelled
and he prayed, because his lips moved and his gaze was bent on the
ground.

'Yes, she's dead! ' I answered, checking my sobs and drying my cheeks.
'Gone to heaven, I hope; where we may, every one, join her, if we take
due warning and leave our evil ways to follow good! '

'Did _she_ take due warning, then? ' asked Heathcliff, attempting a sneer.
'Did she die like a saint? Come, give me a true history of the event.
How did--? '

He endeavoured to pronounce the name, but could not manage it; and
compressing his mouth he held a silent combat with his inward agony,
defying, meanwhile, my sympathy with an unflinching, ferocious stare.
'How did she die? ' he resumed, at last--fain, notwithstanding his
hardihood, to have a support behind him; for, after the struggle, he
trembled, in spite of himself, to his very finger-ends.

'Poor wretch! ' I thought; 'you have a heart and nerves the same as your
brother men! Why should you be anxious to conceal them? Your pride
cannot blind God! You tempt him to wring them, till he forces a cry of
humiliation. '

'Quietly as a lamb! ' I answered, aloud. 'She drew a sigh, and stretched
herself, like a child reviving, and sinking again to sleep; and five
minutes after I felt one little pulse at her heart, and nothing more! '

'And--did she ever mention me? ' he asked, hesitating, as if he dreaded
the answer to his question would introduce details that he could not bear
to hear.

'Her senses never returned: she recognised nobody from the time you left
her,' I said. 'She lies with a sweet smile on her face; and her latest
ideas wandered back to pleasant early days. Her life closed in a gentle
dream--may she wake as kindly in the other world! '

'May she wake in torment! ' he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping
his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion.
'Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not _there_--not in
heaven--not perished--where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my
sufferings! And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue
stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living;
you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered _do_ haunt their
murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts _have_ wandered on earth. Be
with me always--take any form--drive me mad! only _do_ not leave me in
this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I
_cannot_ live without my life! I _cannot_ live without my soul! '

He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes,
howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death
with knives and spears. I observed several splashes of blood about the
bark of the tree, and his hand and forehead were both stained; probably
the scene I witnessed was a repetition of others acted during the night.
It hardly moved my compassion--it appalled me: still, I felt reluctant to
quit him so. But the moment he recollected himself enough to notice me
watching, he thundered a command for me to go, and I obeyed. He was
beyond my skill to quiet or console!

Mrs. Linton's funeral was appointed to take place on the Friday following
her decease; and till then her coffin remained uncovered, and strewn with
flowers and scented leaves, in the great drawing-room. Linton spent his
days and nights there, a sleepless guardian; and--a circumstance
concealed from all but me--Heathcliff spent his nights, at least,
outside, equally a stranger to repose. I held no communication with him:
still, I was conscious of his design to enter, if he could; and on the
Tuesday, a little after dark, when my master, from sheer fatigue, had
been compelled to retire a couple of hours, I went and opened one of the
windows; moved by his perseverance to give him a chance of bestowing on
the faded image of his idol one final adieu. He did not omit to avail
himself of the opportunity, cautiously and briefly; too cautiously to
betray his presence by the slightest noise. Indeed, I shouldn't have
discovered that he had been there, except for the disarrangement of the
drapery about the corpse's face, and for observing on the floor a curl of
light hair, fastened with a silver thread; which, on examination, I
ascertained to have been taken from a locket hung round Catherine's neck.
Heathcliff had opened the trinket and cast out its contents, replacing
them by a black lock of his own. I twisted the two, and enclosed them
together.

Mr. Earnshaw was, of course, invited to attend the remains of his sister
to the grave; he sent no excuse, but he never came; so that, besides her
husband, the mourners were wholly composed of tenants and servants.
Isabella was not asked.

The place of Catherine's interment, to the surprise of the villagers, was
neither in the chapel under the carved monument of the Lintons, nor yet
by the tombs of her own relations, outside. It was dug on a green slope
in a corner of the kirk-yard, where the wall is so low that heath and
bilberry-plants have climbed over it from the moor; and peat-mould almost
buries it. Her husband lies in the same spot now; and they have each a
simple headstone above, and a plain grey block at their feet, to mark the
graves.




CHAPTER XVII


That Friday made the last of our fine days for a month. In the evening
the weather broke: the wind shifted from south to north-east, and brought
rain first, and then sleet and snow. On the morrow one could hardly
imagine that there had been three weeks of summer: the primroses and
crocuses were hidden under wintry drifts; the larks were silent, the
young leaves of the early trees smitten and blackened. And dreary, and
chill, and dismal, that morrow did creep over! My master kept his room;
I took possession of the lonely parlour, converting it into a nursery:
and there I was, sitting with the moaning doll of a child laid on my
knee; rocking it to and fro, and watching, meanwhile, the still driving
flakes build up the uncurtained window, when the door opened, and some
person entered, out of breath and laughing! My anger was greater than my
astonishment for a minute. I supposed it one of the maids, and I
cried--'Have done! How dare you show your giddiness here; What would Mr.
Linton say if he heard you? '

'Excuse me! ' answered a familiar voice; 'but I know Edgar is in bed, and
I cannot stop myself. '

With that the speaker came forward to the fire, panting and holding her
hand to her side.

'I have run the whole way from Wuthering Heights! ' she continued, after a
pause; 'except where I've flown. I couldn't count the number of falls
I've had. Oh, I'm aching all over! Don't be alarmed! There shall be an
explanation as soon as I can give it; only just have the goodness to step
out and order the carriage to take me on to Gimmerton, and tell a servant
to seek up a few clothes in my wardrobe. '

The intruder was Mrs. Heathcliff. She certainly seemed in no laughing
predicament: her hair streamed on her shoulders, dripping with snow and
water; she was dressed in the girlish dress she commonly wore, befitting
her age more than her position: a low frock with short sleeves, and
nothing on either head or neck. The frock was of light silk, and clung
to her with wet, and her feet were protected merely by thin slippers; add
to this a deep cut under one ear, which only the cold prevented from
bleeding profusely, a white face scratched and bruised, and a frame
hardly able to support itself through fatigue; and you may fancy my first
fright was not much allayed when I had had leisure to examine her.

'My dear young lady,' I exclaimed, 'I'll stir nowhere, and hear nothing,
till you have removed every article of your clothes, and put on dry
things; and certainly you shall not go to Gimmerton to-night, so it is
needless to order the carriage. '

'Certainly I shall,' she said; 'walking or riding: yet I've no objection
to dress myself decently. And--ah, see how it flows down my neck now!
The fire does make it smart. '

She insisted on my fulfilling her directions, before she would let me
touch her; and not till after the coachman had been instructed to get
ready, and a maid set to pack up some necessary attire, did I obtain her
consent for binding the wound and helping to change her garments.

'Now, Ellen,' she said, when my task was finished and she was seated in
an easy-chair on the hearth, with a cup of tea before her, 'you sit down
opposite me, and put poor Catherine's baby away: I don't like to see it!
You mustn't think I care little for Catherine, because I behaved so
foolishly on entering: I've cried, too, bitterly--yes, more than any one
else has reason to cry. We parted unreconciled, you remember, and I
sha'n't forgive myself. But, for all that, I was not going to sympathise
with him--the brute beast! Oh, give me the poker! This is the last
thing of his I have about me:' she slipped the gold ring from her third
finger, and threw it on the floor. 'I'll smash it! ' she continued,
striking it with childish spite, 'and then I'll burn it! ' and she took
and dropped the misused article among the coals. 'There! he shall buy
another, if he gets me back again. He'd be capable of coming to seek me,
to tease Edgar. I dare not stay, lest that notion should possess his
wicked head! And besides, Edgar has not been kind, has he? And I won't
come suing for his assistance; nor will I bring him into more trouble.
Necessity compelled me to seek shelter here; though, if I had not learned
he was out of the way, I'd have halted at the kitchen, washed my face,
warmed myself, got you to bring what I wanted, and departed again to
anywhere out of the reach of my accursed--of that incarnate goblin! Ah,
he was in such a fury! If he had caught me! It's a pity Earnshaw is not
his match in strength: I wouldn't have run till I'd seen him all but
demolished, had Hindley been able to do it! '

'Well, don't talk so fast, Miss! ' I interrupted; 'you'll disorder the
handkerchief I have tied round your face, and make the cut bleed again.
Drink your tea, and take breath, and give over laughing: laughter is
sadly out of place under this roof, and in your condition! '

'An undeniable truth,' she replied. 'Listen to that child! It maintains
a constant wail--send it out of my hearing for an hour; I sha'n't stay
any longer. '

I rang the bell, and committed it to a servant's care; and then I
inquired what had urged her to escape from Wuthering Heights in such an
unlikely plight, and where she meant to go, as she refused remaining with
us.

'I ought, and I wished to remain,' answered she, 'to cheer Edgar and take
care of the baby, for two things, and because the Grange is my right
home. But I tell you he wouldn't let me! Do you think he could bear to
see me grow fat and merry--could bear to think that we were tranquil, and
not resolve on poisoning our comfort? Now, I have the satisfaction of
being sure that he detests me, to the point of its annoying him seriously
to have me within ear-shot or eyesight: I notice, when I enter his
presence, the muscles of his countenance are involuntarily distorted into
an expression of hatred; partly arising from his knowledge of the good
causes I have to feel that sentiment for him, and partly from original
aversion. It is strong enough to make me feel pretty certain that he
would not chase me over England, supposing I contrived a clear escape;
and therefore I must get quite away. I've recovered from my first desire
to be killed by him: I'd rather he'd kill himself! He has extinguished
my love effectually, and so I'm at my ease. I can recollect yet how I
loved him; and can dimly imagine that I could still be loving him, if--no,
no! Even if he had doted on me, the devilish nature would have revealed
its existence somehow. Catherine had an awfully perverted taste to
esteem him so dearly, knowing him so well. Monster! would that he could
be blotted out of creation, and out of my memory! '

'Hush, hush! He's a human being,' I said. 'Be more charitable: there
are worse men than he is yet! '

'He's not a human being,' she retorted; 'and he has no claim on my
charity. I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death, and
flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen: and since he
has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him: and I would not,
though he groaned from this to his dying day, and wept tears of blood for
Catherine! No, indeed, indeed, I wouldn't! ' And here Isabella began to
cry; but, immediately dashing the water from her lashes, she recommenced.
'You asked, what has driven me to flight at last? I was compelled to
attempt it, because I had succeeded in rousing his rage a pitch above his
malignity. Pulling out the nerves with red hot pincers requires more
coolness than knocking on the head. He was worked up to forget the
fiendish prudence he boasted of, and proceeded to murderous violence. I
experienced pleasure in being able to exasperate him: the sense of
pleasure woke my instinct of self-preservation, so I fairly broke free;
and if ever I come into his hands again he is welcome to a signal
revenge.

'Yesterday, you know, Mr. Earnshaw should have been at the funeral. He
kept himself sober for the purpose--tolerably sober: not going to bed mad
at six o'clock and getting up drunk at twelve. Consequently, he rose, in
suicidal low spirits, as fit for the church as for a dance; and instead,
he sat down by the fire and swallowed gin or brandy by tumblerfuls.

'Heathcliff--I shudder to name him! has been a stranger in the house from
last Sunday till to-day. Whether the angels have fed him, or his kin
beneath, I cannot tell; but he has not eaten a meal with us for nearly a
week. He has just come home at dawn, and gone up-stairs to his chamber;
locking himself in--as if anybody dreamt of coveting his company! There
he has continued, praying like a Methodist: only the deity he implored is
senseless dust and ashes; and God, when addressed, was curiously
confounded with his own black father! After concluding these precious
orisons--and they lasted generally till he grew hoarse and his voice was
strangled in his throat--he would be off again; always straight down to
the Grange! I wonder Edgar did not send for a constable, and give him
into custody! For me, grieved as I was about Catherine, it was
impossible to avoid regarding this season of deliverance from degrading
oppression as a holiday.

'I recovered spirits sufficient to bear Joseph's eternal lectures without
weeping, and to move up and down the house less with the foot of a
frightened thief than formerly. You wouldn't think that I should cry at
anything Joseph could say; but he and Hareton are detestable companions.
I'd rather sit with Hindley, and hear his awful talk, than with "t'
little maister" and his staunch supporter, that odious old man! When
Heathcliff is in, I'm often obliged to seek the kitchen and their
society, or starve among the damp uninhabited chambers; when he is not,
as was the case this week, I establish a table and chair at one corner of
the house fire, and never mind how Mr. Earnshaw may occupy himself; and
he does not interfere with my arrangements. He is quieter now than he
used to be, if no one provokes him: more sullen and depressed, and less
furious. Joseph affirms he's sure he's an altered man: that the Lord has
touched his heart, and he is saved "so as by fire. " I'm puzzled to
detect signs of the favourable change: but it is not my business.

'Yester-evening I sat in my nook reading some old books till late on
towards twelve. It seemed so dismal to go up-stairs, with the wild snow
blowing outside, and my thoughts continually reverting to the kirk-yard
and the new-made grave! I dared hardly lift my eyes from the page before
me, that melancholy scene so instantly usurped its place. Hindley sat
opposite, his head leant on his hand; perhaps meditating on the same
subject. He had ceased drinking at a point below irrationality, and had
neither stirred nor spoken during two or three hours. There was no sound
through the house but the moaning wind, which shook the windows every now
and then, the faint crackling of the coals, and the click of my snuffers
as I removed at intervals the long wick of the candle. Hareton and
Joseph were probably fast asleep in bed. It was very, very sad: and
while I read I sighed, for it seemed as if all joy had vanished from the
world, never to be restored.

'The doleful silence was broken at length by the sound of the kitchen
latch: Heathcliff had returned from his watch earlier than usual; owing,
I suppose, to the sudden storm. That entrance was fastened, and we heard
him coming round to get in by the other. I rose with an irrepressible
expression of what I felt on my lips, which induced my companion, who had
been staring towards the door, to turn and look at me.

'"I'll keep him out five minutes," he exclaimed. "You won't object? "

'"No, you may keep him out the whole night for me," I answered. "Do! put
the key in the lock, and draw the bolts. "

'Earnshaw accomplished this ere his guest reached the front; he then came
and brought his chair to the other side of my table, leaning over it, and
searching in my eyes for a sympathy with the burning hate that gleamed
from his: as he both looked and felt like an assassin, he couldn't
exactly find that; but he discovered enough to encourage him to speak.

'"You, and I," he said, "have each a great debt to settle with the man
out yonder! If we were neither of us cowards, we might combine to
discharge it. Are you as soft as your brother? Are you willing to
endure to the last, and not once attempt a repayment? "

'"I'm weary of enduring now," I replied; "and I'd be glad of a
retaliation that wouldn't recoil on myself; but treachery and violence
are spears pointed at both ends; they wound those who resort to them
worse than their enemies. "

'"Treachery and violence are a just return for treachery and violence! "
cried Hindley. "Mrs. Heathcliff, I'll ask you to do nothing; but sit
still and be dumb. Tell me now, can you? I'm sure you would have as
much pleasure as I in witnessing the conclusion of the fiend's existence;
he'll be _your_ death unless you overreach him; and he'll be _my_ ruin.