No More Learning

,
unable to prevent himself, and, as he looked anxiously in the direction
from which the servitor would come, he gave Franz a shove, not hard, but
hard enough for him to fall down unconscious, clawing at the ground with
his hands by reflex; he still did not avoid being hit; the rod still
found him on the floor; the tip of the rod swang regularly up and down
while he rolled to and fro under its blows. And now one of the
servitors appeared in the distance, with another a few steps behind him.
K. had quickly thrown the door shut, gone over to one of the windows
overlooking the yard and opened it. The screams had completely stopped.
So that the servitor wouldn't come in, he called out, "It's only me! "
"Good evening, chief clerk," somebody called back. "Is there anything
wrong? " "No, no," answered K. , "it's only a dog yelping in the yard. "
There was no sound from the servitors so he added, "You can go back to
what you were doing. " He did not want to become involved with a
conversation with them, and so he leant out of the window. A little
while later, when he looked out in the corridor, they had already gone.
Now, K. remained at the window, he did not dare go back into the junk
room, and he did not want to go home either. The yard he looked down
into was small and rectangular, all around it were offices, all the
windows were now dark and only those at the very top caught a reflection
of the moon. K tried hard to see into the darkness of one corner of the
yard, where a few handcarts had been left behind one another. He felt
anguish at not having been able to prevent the flogging, but that was
not his fault, if Franz had not screamed like that - clearly it must
have caused a great deal of pain but it's important to maintain control
of oneself at important moments - if Franz had not screamed then it was
at least highly probable that K. would have been able to dissuade the
whip-man. If all the junior officers were contemptible why would the
whip-man, whose position was the most inhumane of all, be any exception,
and K. had noticed very clearly how his eyes had lit up when he saw the
banknotes, he had obviously only seemed serious about the flogging to
raise the level of the bribe a little. And K. had not been ungenerous,
he really had wanted to get the policemen freed; if he really had now
begun to do something against the degeneracy of the court then it was a
matter of course that he would have to do something here as well. But
of course, it became impossible for him to do anything as soon as Franz
started screaming. K. could not possibly have let the junior bank
staff, and perhaps even all sorts of other people, come along and catch
him by surprise as he haggled with those people in the junk room.
Nobody could really expect that sort of sacrifice of him. If that had
been his intention then it would almost have been easier, K. would have
taken his own clothes off and offered himself to the whip-man in the
policemen's place. The whip-man would certainly not have accepted this
substitution anyway, as in that way he would have seriously violated his
duty without gaining any benefit. He would most likely have violated
his duty twice over, as court employees were probably under orders not
to cause any harm to K. while he was facing charges, although there may
have been special conditions in force here. However things stood, K.
was able to do no more than throw the door shut, even though that would
still do nothing to remove all the dangers he faced. It was regrettable
that he had given Franz a shove, and it could only be excused by the
heat of the moment.

In the distance, he heard the steps of the servitors; he did not
want them to be too aware of his presence, so he closed the window and
walked towards the main staircase. At the door of the junk room he
stopped and listened for a little while. All was silent. The two
policemen were entirely at the whip-man's mercy; he could have beaten
them to death. K. reached his hand out for the door handle but drew it
suddenly back. He was no longer in any position to help anyone, and the
servitors would soon be back; he did, though, promise himself that he
would raise the matter again with somebody and see that, as far as it
was in his power, those who really were guilty, the high officials whom
nobody had so far dared point out to him, received their due punishment.
As he went down the main stairway at the front of the bank, he looked
carefully round at everyone who was passing, but there was no girl to be
seen who might have been waiting for somebody, not even within some
distance from the bank. Franz's claim that his bride was waiting for
him was thus shown to be a lie, albeit one that was forgivable and
intended only to elicit more sympathy.

The policemen were still on K. 's mind all through the following
day; he was unable to concentrate on his work and had to stay in his
office a little longer than the previous day so that he could finish it.
On the way home, as he passed by the junk room again, he opened its door
as if that had been his habit. Instead of the darkness he expected, he
saw everything unchanged from the previous evening, and did not know how
he should respond. Everything was exactly the same as he had seen it
when he had opened the door the previous evening. The forms and
bottles of ink just inside the doorway, the whip-man with his cane, the
two policemen, still undressed, the candle on the shelf, and the two
policemen began to wail and call out "Mr. K. ! " K. slammed the door
immediately shut, and even thumped on it with his fists as if that would
shut it all the firmer. Almost in tears, he ran to the servitors
working quietly at the copying machine. "Go and get that junk room
cleared out! " he shouted, and, in amazement, they stopped what they were
doing. "It should have been done long ago, we're sinking in dirt! " They
would be able to do the job the next day, K. nodded, it was too late in
the evening to make them do it there and then as he had originally
intended. He sat down briefly in order to keep them near him for a
little longer, looked through a few of the copies to give the impression
that he was checking them and then, as he saw that they would not dare
to leave at the same time as himself, went home tired and with his mind
numb.




Chapter Six
K. 's uncle - Leni

One afternoon - K. was very busy at the time, getting the post
ready - K. 's Uncle Karl, a small country land owner, came into the room,
pushing his way between two of the staff who were bringing in some
papers. K. had long expected his uncle to appear, but the sight of him
now shocked K. far less than the prospect of it had done a long time
before. His uncle was bound to come, K. had been sure of that for about
a month. He already thought at the time he could see how his uncle
would arrive, slightly bowed, his battered panama hat in his left hand,
his right hand already stretched out over the desk long before he was
close enough as he rushed carelessly towards K. knocking over everything
that was in his way. K. 's uncle was always in a hurry, as he suffered
from the unfortunate belief that he had a number things to do while he
was in the big city and had to settle all of them in one day - his
visits were only ever for one day - and at the same time thought he
could not forgo any conversation or piece of business or pleasure that
might arise by chance. Uncle Karl was K. 's former guardian, and so K.
was duty-bound to help him in all of this as well as to offer him a bed
for the night. 'I'm haunted by a ghost from the country', he would say.

As soon as they had greeted each other - K. had invited him to sit
in the armchair but Uncle Karl had no time for that - he said he wanted
to speak briefly with K. in private. "It is necessary," he said with a
tired gulp, "it is necessary for my peace of mind. " K. immediately
sent the junior staff from the room and told them to let no-one in.
"What's this that I've been hearing, Josef? " cried K. 's uncle when they
were alone, as he sat on the table shoving various papers under himself
without looking at them to make himself more comfortable. K. said
nothing, he knew what was coming, but, suddenly relieved from the effort
of the work he had been doing, he gave way to a pleasant lassitude and
looked out the window at the other side of the street. From where he
sat, he could see just a small, triangular section of it, part of the
empty walls of houses between two shop windows. "You're staring out the
window! " called out his uncle, raising his arms, "For God's sake, Josef,
give me an answer! Is it true, can it really be true? " "Uncle Karl,"
said K. , wrenching himself back from his daydreaming, "I really don't
know what it is you want of me. " "Josef," said his uncle in a warning
tone, "as far as I know, you've always told the truth. Am I to take
what you've just said as a bad sign? " "I think I know what it is you
want," said K. obediently, "I expect you've heard about my trial. "
"That's right," answered his uncle with a slow nod, "I've heard about
your trial. " "Who did you hear it from, then? " asked K. "Erna wrote to
me," said his uncle, "she doesn't have much contact with you, it's true,
you don't pay very much attention to her, I'm afraid to say, but she
learned about it nonetheless. I got her letter today and, of course, I
came straight here. And for no other reason, but it seems to me that
this is reason enough. I can read you out the part of the letter that
concerns you. " He drew the letter out from his wallet. "Here it is.
She writes; 'I have not seen Josef for a long time, I was in the bank
last week but Josef was so busy that they would not let me through; I
waited there for nearly an hour but then I had to go home as I had my
piano lesson. I would have liked to have spoken to him, maybe there
will be a chance another time. He sent me a big box of chocolates for
my name-day, that was very nice and attentive of him. I forgot to tell
you about it when I wrote, and I only remember now that you ask me about
it. Chocolate, as I am sure you are aware, disappears straight away in
this lodging house, almost as soon as you know somebody has given you
chocolate it is gone. But there is something else I wanted to tell you
about Josef. Like I said, they would not let me through to see him at
the bank because he was negotiating with some gentleman just then.
After I had been waiting quietly for quite a long time I asked one of
the staff whether his meeting would last much longer. He said it might
well do, as it was probably about the legal proceedings, he said, that
were being conducted against him. I asked what sort of legal
proceedings it was that were being conducted against the chief clerk,
and whether he was not making some mistake, but he said he was not
making any mistake, there were legal proceedings underway and even that
they were about something quite serious, but he did not know any more
about it. He would have liked to have been of some help to the chief
clerk himself, as the chief clerk was a gentleman, good and honest, but
he did not know what it was he could do and merely hoped there would be
some influential gentlemen who would take his side. I'm sure that is
what will happen and that everything will turn out for the best in the
end, but in the mean time things do not look at all good, and you can
see that from the mood of the chief clerk himself. Of course, I did not
place too much importance on this conversation, and even did my best to
put the bank clerk's mind at rest, he was quite a simple man. I told
him he was not to speak to anyone else about this, and I think it is all
just a rumour, but I still think it might be good if you, Dear Father,
if you looked into the matter the next time you visit. It will be easy
for you to find out more detail and, if it is really necessary, to do
something about it through the great and influential people you know.
But if it is not necessary, and that is what seems most likely, then at
least your daughter will soon have the chance to embrace you and I look
forward to it. ' - She's a good child," said K. 's uncle when he had
finished reading, and wiped a few tears from his eyes. K. nodded. With
all the different disruptions he had had recently he had completely
forgotten about Erna, even her birthday, and the story of the chocolates
had clearly just been invented so that he wouldn't get in trouble with
his aunt and uncle. It was very touching, and even the theatre tickets,
which he would regularly send her from then on, would not be enough to
repay her, but he really did not feel, now, that it was right for him
to visit her in her lodgings and hold conversations with a little,
eighteen year old schoolgirl. "And what do you have to say about that? "
asked his uncle, who had forgotten all his rush and excitement as he read
the letter, and seemed to be about to read it again. "Yes, Uncle," said
K. , "it is true. " "True! " called out his uncle. "What is true? How can
this be true? What sort of trial is it? Not a criminal trial, I hope? "
"It's a criminal trial," answered K. "And you sit quietly here while
you've got a criminal trial round your neck? " shouted his uncle, getting
ever louder. "The more calm I am, the better it will be for the
outcome," said K. in a tired voice, "don't worry. " "How can I help
worrying? ! " shouted his uncle, "Josef, my Dear Josef, think about
yourself, about your family, think about our good name! Up till now,
you've always been our pride, don't now become our disgrace. I don't
like the way you're behaving," he said, looking at K. with his head at
an angle, "that's not how an innocent man behaves when he's accused of
something, not if he's still got any strength in him. Just tell me what
it's all about so that I can help you. It's something to do with the
bank, I take it? " "No," said K. as he stood up, "and you're speaking
too loud, Uncle, I expect one of the staff is listening at the door and
I find that rather unpleasant. It's best if we go somewhere else, then
I can answer all your questions, as far as I can. And I know very well
that I have to account to the family for what I do. " "You certainly
do! " his uncle shouted, "Quite right, you do. Now just get a move on,
Josef, hurry up now! " "I still have a few documents I need to prepare,"
said K. , and, using the intercom, he summoned his deputy who entered a
few moments later. K. 's uncle, still angry and excited, gestured with
his hand to show that K. had summoned him, even though there was no need
whatever to do so. K. stood in front of the desk and explained to the
young man, who listened calm and attentive, what would need to be done
that day in his absence, speaking in a calm voice and making use of
various documents. The presence of K. 's uncle while this was going on
was quite disturbing; he did not listen to what was being said, but at
first he stood there with eyes wide open and nervously biting his lips.
Then he began to walk up and down the room, stopped now and then at the
window, or stood in front of a picture always making various
exclamations such as, "That is totally incomprehensible to me! " or "Now
just tell me, what are you supposed to make of that? ! " The young man
pretended to notice nothing of this and listened to K. 's instructions
through to the end, he made a few notes, bowed to both K. and his uncle
and then left the room. K. 's uncle had turned his back to him and was
looking out the window, bunching up the curtains with his outstretched
hands. The door had hardly closed when he called out, "At last! Now
that he's stopped jumping about we can go too! " Once they were in the
front hall of the bank, where several members of staff were standing
about and where, just then, the deputy director was walking across,
there was unfortunately no way of stopping K. 's uncle from continually
asking questions about the trial. "Now then, Josef," he began, lightly
acknowledging the bows from those around them as they passed, "tell me
everything about this trial; what sort of trial is it? " K. made a few
comments which conveyed little information, even laughed a little, and
it was only when they reached the front steps that he explained to his
uncle that he had not wanted to talk openly in front of those people.
"Quite right," said his uncle, "but now start talking. " With his head
to one side, and smoking his cigar in short, impatient draughts, he
listened. "First of all, Uncle," said K. , "it's not a trial like you'd
have in a normal courtroom. " "So much the worse," said his uncle.
"How's that? " asked K. , looking at him. "What I mean is, that's for the
worse," he repeated. They were standing on the front steps of the bank;
as the doorkeeper seemed to be listening to what they were saying K.
drew his uncle down further, where they were absorbed into the bustle of
the street. His uncle took K. 's arm and stopped asking questions with
such urgency about the trial, they walked on for a while in silence.
"But how did all this come about? " he eventually asked, stopping
abruptly enough to startle the people walking behind, who had to avoid
walking into him. "Things like this don't come all of a sudden, they
start developing a long time beforehand, there must have been warning
signs of it, why didn't you write to me?
You know I'd do anything for
you, to some extent I am still your guardian, and until today that's
something I was proud of. I'll still help you, of course I will, only
now, now that the trial is already underway, it makes it very difficult.
But whatever; the best thing now is for you to take a short holiday
staying with us in the country. You've lost weight, I can see that now.
The country life will give you strength, that will be good, there's
bound to be a lot of hard work ahead of you. But besides that it'll be
a way of getting you away from the court, to some extent. Here they've
got every means of showing the powers at their disposal and they're
automatically bound to use them against you; in the country they'll
either have to delegate authority to different bodies or just have to
try and bother you by letter, telegram or telephone. And that's bound
to weaken the effect, it won't release you from them but it'll give you
room to breathe. " "You could forbid me to leave," said K. , who had been
drawn slightly into his uncle's way of thinking by what he had been
saying. "I didn't think you would do it," said his uncle thoughtfully,
"you won't suffer too much loss of power by moving away. " K. grasped
his uncle under the arm to prevent him stopping still and said, "I
thought you'd think all this is less important than I do, and now you're
taking it so hard. " "Josef," called his uncle trying to disentangle
himself from him so that he could stop walking, but K. did not let go,
"you've completely changed, you used to be so astute, are you losing it
now? Do you want to lose the trial? Do you realise what that would
mean? That would mean you would be simply destroyed. And that everyone
you know would be pulled down with you or at the very least humiliated,
disgraced right down to the ground. Josef, pull yourself together. The
way you're so indifferent about it, it's driving me mad. Looking at you
I can almost believe that old saying: 'Having a trial like that means
losing a trial like that'. " "My dear Uncle," said K. , "it won't do any
good to get excited, it's no good for you to do it and it'd be no good
for me to do it. The case won't be won by getting excited, and please
admit that my practical experience counts for something, just as I have
always and still do respect your experience, even when it surprises me.
You say that the family will also be affected by this trial; I really
can't see how, but that's beside the point and I'm quite willing to
follow your instructions in all of this. Only, I don't see any
advantage in staying in the country, not even for you, as that would
indicate flight and a sense of guilt. And besides, although I am more
subject to persecution if I stay in the city I can also press the matter
forward better here. " "You're right," said his uncle in a tone that
seemed to indicate they were finally coming closer to each other, "I
just made the suggestion because, as I saw it, if you stay in the city
the case will be put in danger by your indifference to it, and I thought
it was better if I did the work for you. But will you push things
forward yourself with all your strength, if so, that will naturally be
far better. " "We're agreed then," said K. "And do you have any
suggestions for what I should do next? " "Well, naturally I'll have to
think about it," said his uncle, "you must bear in mind that I've been
living in the country for twenty years now, almost without a break, you
lose your ability to deal with matters like this. But I do have some
important connections with several people who, I expect, know their way
around these things better than I do, and to contact them is a matter of
course. Out there in the country I've been getting out of condition,
I'm sure you're already aware of that. It's only at times like this
that you notice it yourself. And this affair of yours came largely
unexpected, although, oddly enough, I had expected something of the sort
after I'd read Erna's letter, and today when I saw your face I knew it
with almost total certainty. But all that is by the by, the important
thing now is, we have no time to lose. " Even while he was still
speaking, K. 's uncle had stood on tiptoe to summon a taxi and now he
pulled K. into the car behind himself as he called out an address to the
driver. "We're going now to see Dr. Huld, the lawyer," he said, "we
were at school together. I'm sure you know the name, don't you? No?
Well that is odd. He's got a very good reputation as a defence
barrister and for working with the poor. But I esteem him especially as
someone you can trust. " "It's alright with me, whatever you do," said
K. , although he was made uneasy by the rushed and urgent way his uncle
was dealing with the matter. It was not very encouraging, as the
accused, be to taken to a lawyer for poor people. "I didn't know," he
said, "that you could take on a lawyer in matters like this. " "Well of
course you can," said his uncle, "that goes without saying. Why
wouldn't you take on a lawyer? And now, so that I'm properly instructed
in this matter, tell me what's been happening so far. " K. instantly
began telling his uncle about what had been happening, holding nothing
back - being completely open with him was the only way that K. could
protest at his uncle's belief that the trial was a great disgrace. He
mentioned Miss Burstner's name just once and in passing, but that did
nothing to diminish his openness about the trial as Miss Burstner had no
connection with it. As he spoke, he looked out the window and saw how,
just then, they were getting closer to the suburb where the court
offices were. He drew this to his uncle's attention, but he did not
find the coincidence especially remarkable. The taxi stopped in front
of a dark building. K. 's uncle knocked at the very first door at ground
level; while they waited he smiled, showing his big teeth, and
whispered, "Eight o'clock; not the usual sort of time to be visiting a
lawyer, but Huld won't mind it from me. " Two large, black eyes appeared
in the spy-hatch in the door, they stared at the two visitors for a
while and then disappeared; the door, however, did not open. K. and his
uncle confirmed to each other the fact that they had seen the two eyes.
"A new maid, afraid of strangers," said K. 's uncle, and knocked again.
The eyes appeared once more. This time they seemed almost sad, but the
open gas flame that burned with a hiss close above their heads gave off
little light and that may have merely created an illusion. "Open the
door," called K. 's uncle, raising his fist against it, "we are friends
of Dr. Huld, the lawyer! " "Dr. Huld is ill," whispered someone behind
them. In a doorway at the far end of a narrow passage stood a man in
his dressing gown, giving them this information in an extremely quiet
voice. K. 's uncle, who had already been made very angry by the long
wait, turned abruptly round and retorted, "Ill? You say he's ill? " and
strode towards the gentleman in a way that seemed almost threatening, as
if he were the illness himself. "They've opened the door for you, now,"
said the gentleman, pointing at the door of the lawyer. He pulled his
dressing gown together and disappeared. The door had indeed been
opened, a young girl - K. recognised the dark, slightly bulging eyes -
stood in the hallway in a long white apron, holding a candle in her
hand. "Next time, open up sooner! " said K. 's uncle instead of a
greeting, while the girl made a slight curtsey. "Come along, Josef," he
then said to K. who was slowly moving over towards the girl. "Dr. Huld
is unwell," said the girl as K. 's uncle, without stopping, rushed
towards one of the doors. K. continued to look at the girl in amazement
as she turned round to block the way into the living room, she had a
round face like a puppy's, not only the pale cheeks and the chin were
round but the temples and the hairline were too. "Josef! " called his
uncle once more, and he asked the girl, "It's trouble with his heart, is
it? " "I think it is, sir," said the girl, who by now had found time to
go ahead with the candle and open the door into the room. In one corner
of the room, where the light of the candle did not reach, a face with a
long beard looked up from the bed. "Leni, who's this coming in? " asked
the lawyer, unable to recognise his guests because he was dazzled by the
candle. "It's your old friend, Albert," said K. 's uncle. "Oh, Albert,"
said the lawyer, falling back onto his pillow as if this visit meant he
would not need to keep up appearances. "Is it really as bad as that? "
asked K. 's uncle, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I don't believe it
is. It's a recurrence of your heart trouble and it'll pass over like
the other times. " "Maybe," said the lawyer quietly, "but it's just as
much trouble as it's ever been. I can hardly breathe, I can't sleep at
all and I'm getting weaker by the day. " "I see," said K. 's uncle,
pressing his panama hat firmly against his knee with his big hand.
"That is bad news. But are you getting the right sort of care? And
it's so depressing in here, it's so dark. It's a long time since I was
last here, but it seemed to me friendlier then. Even your young lady
here doesn't seem to have much life in her, unless she's just
pretending. " The maid was still standing by the door with the candle;
as far as could be made out, she was watching K. more than she was
watching his uncle even while the latter was still speaking about her.
K. leant against a chair that he had pushed near to the girl. "When
you're as ill as I am," said the lawyer, "you need to have peace. I
don't find it depressing. " After a short pause he added, "and Leni
looks after me well, she's a good girl. " But that was not enough to
persuade K. 's uncle, he had visibly taken against his friend's carer
and, even though he did not contradict the invalid, he persecuted her
with his scowl as she went over to the bed, put the candle on the
bedside table and, leaning over the bed, made a fuss of him by tidying
the pillows. K. 's uncle nearly forgot the need to show any
consideration for the man who lay ill in bed, he stood up, walked up and
down behind the carer, and K. would not have been surprised if he had
grabbed hold of her skirts behind her and dragged her away from the bed.
K. himself looked on calmly, he was not even disappointed at finding the
lawyer unwell, he had been able to do nothing to oppose the enthusiasm
his uncle had developed for the matter, he was glad that this enthusiasm
had now been distracted without his having to do anything about it. His
uncle, probably simply wishing to be offensive to the lawyer's
attendant, then said, "Young lady, now please leave us alone for a
while, I have some personal matters to discuss with my friend. " Dr.
Huld's carer was still leant far over the invalid's bed and smoothing
out the cloth covering the wall next to it, she merely turned her head
and then, in striking contrast with the anger that first stopped K. 's
uncle from speaking and then let the words out in a gush, she said very
quietly, "You can see that Dr. Huld is so ill that he can't discuss any
matters at all. " It was probably just for the sake of convenience that
she had repeated the words spoken by K. 's uncle, but an onlooker might
even have perceived it as mocking him and he, of course, jumped up as if
he had just been stabbed. "You damned . . . ," in the first gurglings of
his excitement his words could hardly be understood, K. was startled
even though he had been expecting something of the sort and ran to his
uncle with the intention, no doubt, of closing his mouth with both his
hands. Fortunately, though, behind the girl, the invalid raised himself
up, K. 's uncle made an ugly face as if swallowing something disgusting
and then, somewhat calmer, said, "We have naturally not lost our senses,
not yet; if what I am asking for were not possible I would not be asking
for it. Now please, go! " The carer stood up straight by the bed
directly facing K. 's uncle, K. thought he noticed that with one hand she
was stroking the lawyer's hand. "You can say anything in front of
Leni," said the invalid, in a tone that was unmistakably imploring.
"It's not my business," said K. 's uncle, "and it's not my secrets. " And
he twisted himself round as if wanting to go into no more negotiations
but giving himself a little more time to think. "Whose business is it
then? " asked the lawyer in an exhausted voice as he leant back again.
"My nephew's," said K. 's uncle, "and I've brought him along with me. "
And he introduced him, "Chief Clerk Josef K. " "Oh! " said the invalid,
now with much more life in him, and reached out his hand towards K. "Do
forgive me, I didn't notice you there at all. " Then he then said to his
carer, "Leni, go," stretching his hand out to her as if this were a
farewell that would have to last for a long time. This time the girl
offered no resistance. "So you," he finally said to K. 's uncle, who had
also calmed down and stepped closer, "you haven't come to visit me
because I'm ill but you've come on business. " The lawyer now looked so
much stronger that it seemed the idea of being visited because he was
ill had somehow made him weak, he remained supporting himself of one
elbow, which must have been rather tiring, and continually pulled at a
lock of hair in the middle of his beard. "You already look much
better," said K. 's uncle, "now that that witch has gone outside. " He
interrupted himself, whispered, "I bet you she's listening! " and sprang
over to the door. But behind the door there was no-one, K. 's uncle came
back not disappointed, as her not listening seemed to him worse than if
she had been, but probably somewhat embittered. "You're mistaken about
her," said the lawyer, but did nothing more to defend her; perhaps that
was his way of indicating that she did not need defending. But in a
tone that was much more committed he went on, "As far as your nephew's
affairs are concerned, this will be an extremely difficult undertaking
and I'd count myself lucky if my strength lasted out long enough for it;
I'm greatly afraid it won't do, but anyway I don't want to leave
anything untried; if I don't last out you can always get somebody else.
To be honest, this matter interests me too much, and I can't bring
myself to give up the chance of taking some part in it. If my heart
does totally give out then at least it will have found a worthy affair
to fail in. " K. believed he understood not a word of this entire
speech, he looked at his uncle for an explanation but his uncle sat on
the bedside table with the candle in his hand, a medicine bottle had
rolled off the table onto the floor, he nodded to everything the lawyer
said, agreed to everything, and now and then looked at K. urging him to
show the same compliance. Maybe K. 's uncle had already told the lawyer
about the trial. But that was impossible, everything that had happened
so far spoke against it. So he said,
"I don't understand . . . " "Well, maybe I've misunderstood what you've
been saying," said the lawyer, just as astonished and embarrassed as K.
"Perhaps I've been going too fast. What was it you wanted to speak to
me about? I thought it was to do with your trial. " "Of course it is,"
said K. 's uncle, who then asked K. , "So what is it you want? " "Yes, but
how is it that you know anything about me and my case? " asked K. "Oh, I
see," said the lawyer with a smile. "I am a lawyer, I move in court
circles, people talk about various different cases and the more
interesting ones stay in your mind, especially when they concern the
nephew of a friend. There's nothing very remarkable about that. " "What
is it you want, then? " asked K. 's uncle once more, "You seem so uneasy
about it" "You move in this court's circles?