This
Cleonymus
is a riddle worth propounding among guests.
Aristophanes
[564] Because it never rains there; for all other reasons residence in
Egypt was looked upon as undesirable.
[565] That is, the last day of the month.
[566] By Athenian law, if anyone summoned another to appear before the
Courts, he was obliged to deposit a sum sufficient to cover the costs of
procedure.
[567] He points to an earthenware sphere, placed at the entrance of
Socrates' dwelling, and which was intended to represent the Whirlwind,
the deity of the philosophers. This sphere took the place of the column
which the Athenians generally dedicated to Apollo, and which stood in the
vestibule of their houses.
[568] An Athenian poet, who is said to have left one hundred and sixty
tragedies behind him; he only once carried off the prize. Doubtless he
had introduced gods or demi-gods bewailing themselves into one of his
tragedies.
[569] This exclamation, "Oh! Pallas, thou hast undone me! " and the reply
of Strepsiades are borrowed, says the scholiast, from a tragedy by
Xenocles, the son of Carcinus. Alcmena is groaning over the death of her
brother, Licymnius, who had been killed by Tlepolemus.
[570] A proverb, applied to foolish people.
[571] The ram of Phryxus, the golden fleece of which was hung up on a
beech tree in a field dedicated to Ares in Colchis.
[572] The subject of Euripides' 'Aeolus. ' Since among the Athenians it
was lawful to marry a half-sister, if not born of the same mother,
Strepsiades mentions here that it was his _uterine_ sister, whom Macareus
dishonoured, thus committing both rape and incest.
[573] A cleft in the rocks at the back of the Acropolis at Athens, into
which criminals were hurled.
[574] He repeats the words of Socrates at their first interview, in
mockery.
INDEX
A
Academia, gardens of
Acharnae, hostages of
--inhabitants of
--township of
Acharnians, date fixed
--date of
Adonis, festivals of
Adultery, punishment of
Aegaean, Islands of
Aegeus, a mythical king
Aeschylus, character from
--plays after death
Aesop, Fable of
Aetolian, meaning of
Age fixed for playwrights
Agoracritus, crime imputed
--meaning of
Alcibiades, his father
Amorgos silks
Amphitheus, play on word
Amyclae, town near Sparta
Anagyra, town, an obstacle
Anapaests, reference to
Anaximenes, doctrine of
Andromeda, legend parodied
Anthesteria. See Dionysia
Antimachus, the historian
Apaturia, a feast
--festival of
Aphrodite Colias, the goddess of sensual love
Archeptolemus, treatment of
Archers, as policemen
Archilochus, singer of his own shame
Archimedes, fires Roman fleet
Argives (the), their misfortune
Army, Athenian
Artemesia, the Queen
Artemis, the huntress
Artemisium, naval battle of
Artichokes, to make tender
Arignotus, a soothsayer
Ariphrades, obscene habits
--a flute-player
Aristogiton, a conspirator
Aristophanes, anonymity of
--bald
--defeated
--land-owner
Assemblies, forced attendance of citizens
Athamas, a condemned king
Athene, the goddess
--protection claimed
--seen in dream
Athenian women, fond of wine
B
"Babylonians," (The), a lost play
Bacchus, festivals of
Bacis, a soothsayer
Bagpipes, ancient
Barathrum, cleft of rock
--place of execution
Basket-bearers, the
Baths of Heracles
Beans, used for voting
Beetle, flying on a
Beetles, names of boats
Blackmail
Blankets, soiled with urine
Blood, unspilled in sacrifice
Boasting derided
Boeotians, the
Boulomachus, meaning of
Boy's name, dispute over
Brasidas, fell in Thrace
Brauron, its temple
"Brazen House," the
Bread, used for finger-wiping
Buckler, swearing over
Bucklers, as trophies
Bupalus, the sculptor
Byrsina, why hateful
C
Cabirian gods, mysteries of
Caesyra, an orator
Cage (a) for pigs
Calendar, reform of
Captives of Pylos
Captured towns
Carcinus, a fecund poet
Carcinus and sons, literary insufficiency of
Caria, situation of
Carystus, dissolute city
Catamite, faeces of
Cecrops, legend of
Cecydes, ancient poet
Centaur, legend of
Cephisodemus, an advocate
Ceramicus, burial-place
Ceremonies (sacred) personified
Ceres, sacrificed pigs
Chaerephon, disciple of Socrates
Chaeris, musician ridiculed
Chalcedon, situation of
--the town of
Chaonian, obscene allusion
Chargers, praise of their exploits
Charybdis, the whirlpool
Chastity, reward of
Cheese, as an emblem
Chersonese, towns of
Chians, obscene name of
Children, in procession
Chimney, obscene sense
Cholozyges, mad ox
Chorus (the) protects Agoracritus
Cicadas, use and significance
Cillicon, a traitor
Circus-races, terms of
Citizens (Athenian), four classes of
Clausimachus, meaning of
Cleaenetus, the law as to feeding
Cleomenes, King of Sparta
Cleon, allusion to treachery of
--dead
--disgorges tribute
--exhortation of
--foe of the aristocrats
--his former calling
--his retort
--ill results of reign
--leather-smelling
--mentioned
--the author of woe
--the role of
--the use of oracles
--unpaid sailors' wages
--vote of people
Cleonymus
--classed as a woman
--glutton and parasite
--ill-famed
--a general
Clepsydra, a spring
Clisthenes, a debauchee
--an effeminate
--an ill-famed orator
--a low personage
Clitagoras, song writer
Clopidian, meaning of
Cock-fighting, allusion to
Coesyra, wife of Alcmaeon
Collar (iron) for torturing
Connas, a poet
Copper-coins
Cordax (the), licentious dance
Corinth, nickname of
--mentioned
Corinthians, allies of Sparta
Corybantes, priests
Cottabos, a favourite game
Country-home, ousted from
Crab, nickname of Corinth
Cranaus, citadel of
--the King
Crates, a comic poet, character of
Cratinus, a bad living poet
--first lines of poems
--poet and lover of wine
--reference to
--rival to Aristophanes
'Clouds,' the first edition
Crows, go to the, explained
Ctesias, an informer
Cunnilingue, vice of
Cyclocorus, a torrent
Cynecephalus, species of ape
Cynna, a courtesan
--famous courtesan
Cynthia, a mountain
D
Dactyl, the double meaning of
'Daedalians,' a lost play
Dance, an obscene
--the kick
Dances, lascivious
Dawn, the, time for love
Dead (the), a custom
Demagogues, secret of power
Demos, double meaning of
Demosthenes, a reproach of
Demostratus, a statesman
Depilation, referred to
Diagoras, the atheist
Dicaeopolis, meaning of
Dionysia, feasts
--the basket-bearer
Dionysus, statue of, place of honour
Diopithes, a bribe-taker
Discourse, Just and Unjust
Dog, a skinned, proverb
"Dog-fox," a brothel-keeper
--meaning of
Dogs, lubricity of
Dolphins, where worshipped
Double meanings, obscene
Dream, a
Drunken habits, results of
E
Eagle and beetle, a fable
Earth, sons of the
Earthquakes, Sparta menaced
Ecbatana, King's residence
Ecclesia, the, or Parliament
Ecclesiasts, their salary
Echinus, town of
Eclipses, allusion to
Eels, certain, esteemed
--with beet
Egypt, residence in
Election, character of
Electra, reference to
Eleusis, mysteries of
Elymnium, a temple
Embassies, dismissed
Erectheus, identity of
Eucrates, Athenian general
--hiding-place of
--statesman
Euminides, temples of refuge
Eupolis, a comic writer
Euripides, a line from
--"Aeolus," subject of
--his mother
--his talent
--lost tragedy of
--parodied
--satirised
--verse from
Expedition, starting on
F
Fear, colour of
Feast of Cups
Fellation, alluded to
Festivals, three days
Fine, fixed by plaintiff
Finger, the, obscene allusion
Fleet (the), counsel concerning
Formula, a sacred
G
Gallop (the), in sexual intercourse
Games, war chariots in
"Garden of love," weeded
Garlic, an emblem
--for game-cocks
--the smell of
Genetyllides, minor deities
Genius, Good, explained
Glanis, invented name
"Goddesses (by the two)"
_Godemiche_, alluded to
Gods, the, belief in
Gorgon's head
Gorgons (the), name for gluttons
Grasshoppers
Greek stage, device of
Greenstuff, offered to gods
Gryttus, an orator
Gull, allusion to Cleon
H
Harmodius, assassin esteemed
--song in honour
Harpies (the), symbol of voracity
Heliasts, the, at Athens
--tribunal of
Hermippus, celebrated comic poet
Hephaestus, sword of
Heracles, as a glutton
_Hermae_, figures of the god
Hermes, conducts dead souls
--god of chance, and thieves
promised worship
Hieronymus, an obscure poet
--poet and pederast
Hippias, the Tyranny of
Hippocrates, sons of the general
Hipponax, satiric poet, ugliness of
Homeric verses, adapted
Hippo of Samos, doctrine
Honey, emblem of honey
Horse, marking of
Horses, good breed
Hyperbolus, a demagogue
--a general
I
Iliad, the, verses from
Incest with rape
Informers warned off
Initiated (the), after death
Invasion, result of
Iolas, a Theban hero
Ion (of Chios), a successful poet
Ionians, meaning
Isthmus, obscene pun
J
Jargon, meaningless
Jest, an obscene
_Judicatum solvi_ at Athens
Julius, a miser
K
Kneaded (to be), obscene
"Knockabouts," ancient
L
Lacratides, Archon
Lamachus, a brave general
Lame heroes, in plays
Lamprocles, a lyric poet
Language, used by orators
Laurel, the, carried off by wind
Law-costs, defendants'
Lawsuit against aliens
Lawsuits, Athenians' love of
--pretexts for
Leather, dominated by
--the market
Lemnos, ominous of misfortune
Lenaea. See Dionysia
Leonidas, hero of Thermopylae
"Let us drink," a song
Lipsydrion, fortified town
Loaves, Boeotian
"_Love and lewdness_"
Lyceum (the)
Lysicles, dealer in sheep
--husband of Aspasia
Lysimacha, derivation of
Lysistratus, a debauchee
--poverty of
M
Macareus rapes sister
_Mad Ox_, a nickname
Magnes, the comic poet
Male sexual organ, pun on
"_Many good men_"
"Maricas," play by Eupolis
Marpsias, an orator
Medimni, a measure
Megacles, family name
Megara, ally to Sparta
Megarians, boycotted
--(the), their sufferings
Melanion, chaste as
Melanthius, "Medea," tragedy by
--poet and gourmand
_Membrum virile_, punned upon
Micon, famous painter
Mice (the), a play
Mina, value of
Mines (silver), source of wealth
Mirrors, or burning glasses
Mitylene, city of
Modes of love, allusions to different
Month (the), how divided
Moon, the old and new
Mothon, an obscene dance
Morsimus, the poet
Morychus of Athens
Mountains, the golden
Mount Taygetus
Myronides, famous general
Mysian Telephus (the)
N
Names, fancy
Navarino, Battle of
Nero, Emperor, his finger
Nestor, the wise king
Nicarchus, an informer
Nicias, Greek general, satire on courage of
O
Oath, over a buckler
Obolus, "the honest penny"
Odomanti, a tribe
Offering, the priest's part
Old men, ridiculed
Olive branches, when carried
Olympus, a musician
Omens, their effect
Opora, the goddess
Opportunity, neglected
Opposite (the) to word expected
Oracles, belief in
--obscurity satirised
Orators, pederastic habits of
Orestes, symbol of rage
Oreus, a town
Orsilochus, brothel-keeper
Orthian mode, described
P
Pan, King of the Satyrs
Panathenaea, a festival
--(the), promised to Hermes
Pandeletus, renowned quibbler
Pandion, statue of
Paphlagonian tanner
--meaning of
Parabis, character of
Parliament (the), Athenian
Parnes, mountain of
Pauson, a painter
Peace, efforts for
Pederasty, school for oratory
Pegasus, in Euripides
--steed of Perseus
Peleus, accused of seduction
Pellene, a city, also name of courtesan
Penis, the drooping, as emblem
Penny royal, effect on fruit-eating
Peplus, the sacred, uses of
Pericles, maltreats conquered people
--squanders wealth
Periclides, chief of embassy
Persian buskins
Persians, alliance with Spartans
Perfumes, Rhodian
Pergasae
Phales, god of generation
Phallus (the), an emblem
Phallics. See Phallus
Phayllus, an athlete
Pheax, special pleader
Phelleus, a mountain
Pherecrates, playwright
Phidias, reward of work
Philocles, sons of
Philostratus, identity lost
Phormio, a great general
--a successful general
--famous admiral
Phrynis, poet and musician
Phryxus, ram of
Phylarch, cavalry captain
Phyle, a fortress of Attica
Pigs immolated
Pillar, used for treaties
Pimples, a swinish disease
Pindar, borrowed from
Piraeus, the
Pisander, a braggart captain
--revolutionary leader
Pittalus, a physician
Pleasures, wanton
Pnyx, purpose used for
Poetry, measures of
Poets, seduce young men
--supply theatrical gear
"_Poseidon and boat_"
Posidon, god of earthquakes
Potidaea, a tributary town
Pramnium, wine or
Prasiae, a town
Prepis, a vile pathic
Priapus, god of gardens
Prisoners, objects of sale
Prisoners, Spartan
Processions, barred to married women
Prodicus, celebrated sophist
Prytanes, duties of
--(the), their functions
Prytaneum, meals, why given
Pseudartabas, the King's Eye
Pun, far-fetched
--of ill omen
--on "father" and cowardice
--on word Pylos
Punishment (of slaves)
Pyanepsia, a festival
Pylos, history of
--barley, meaning
--the affair of
--towns of
Pyrrandrus, origin of name
Pythagorean doctrine
Q
Question before sacrificing
R
Radishes, used as punishment
Rape and incest
Reasoning, names for
S
Salabaccha, famous courtesan
Salamis, the island of
Samos, friend to Athens
Samothrace, the island of
Samphoras, mark of horses
"Scythian woman"
Semi-sextarius, the
Senate, admission to
--how composed
Seriphian, island of
Sesame-cake, emblem of fecundity
Shoes, taken off
Sibyrtius, the son of
Sicilian Expedition (the)
Sicily, towns of
Sicyonians, blood in sacrifice
Silphium, a plant
Simonides, a timeserver
--song-writer
Sisters, marriage of half-
Sisyphus, his cunning
Sitalces, a king
_Skytale_, used for despatches
Slaves, names of
Smicythes, the King
Socrates, basket used for meditation
--calumniated
--chief accusation against
--his birthplace
--his meanness
--taught everywhere
--teaching _re_ bodily health
--sprinkles flour
--words mocked at
Soldiers, inexpert at speaking
Soldier's nation
Sophocles, writing for gain
Sow, obscene pun on word
Spartans (the), prisoners
--malicious
Speeches, limited by clocks
Sphere, earthenware
Stage (the Greek), contrivance of
--(the), of theatre
State treasure
Stealing, under pretence of teaching
Steeds, exploits of
Stilbides, a diviner
Stone seats, where used
Strangers, at Athens
Strategi (the)
Strato, orator of ill-fame
Stupidity, in government
Suidas, referred to
Sunium, temple of
Sybaris, a town
Sybil (the), of Delphi
Syrmaea, a purgative
T
Tail, when burning
Tails, animals without
Tambourines, with lewd dancing
Telamon, war-song writer
--"Telephus," a lost play
--Tents at Olympic games
"Tereus," a lost play
Thales, mentioned
Thasian wine
Theagenes, an evil liver
--wife
Themistocles, work for Athens
--death, 33
Theognis, a poet sans life
Theophanes, identity of
Theoria, why in care of Senate
Thetis, solicited by Peleus
Thucydides, references to
Thumantis unhoused
Timocreon, song of
Timon, the misanthrope
Toad-eaters, orators
Treachery, reward of
Tributes, paid to Athens
Trierarch, duties of
Tricorysus, gnat-haunted
Truces, how personified
Tyndarus, sons of
V
Vegetables, at feast of Dionysia
Vessels (Grecian), allusion to crew
Vintages, result of peace
Violation of brides, origin of war
Vocative (the), in Ionic
W
Wages of rowers, how avoided
War-chariots, prize for
War, hardships
--results of, Peloponnesian
"Wasps (The)," verses from
Water-cress, depredations of
Wealth, given to traitors
Whirlwind, the, as deity
"_Who is here? _"
Wind, the, snatches off laurel
Wine, water in
Wines, symbolic
Women, Athenian, love of wine
--lascivious dancing
Women, loose, wear silk
Wrestling school, place of pederasty
X
_Xenocles_, a line from
Z
Zacynthus, an island
Zeus, appealed to
--sons of
Zeus Polieus
Zeuxis, the painter
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Title: The Eleven Comedies
Author: Aristophanes et al
Release Date: August, 2005 [EBook #8689]
[This file was first posted on August 1, 2003]
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Language: English
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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE ELEVEN COMEDIES ***
Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Thomas Berger, and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team.
The Athenian Society
ARISTOPHANES
THE ELEVEN COMEDIES
Now For The First Time Literally And Completely Translated From The Greek
Tongue Into English
With Translator's Foreword An Introduction To Each Comedy And Elucidatory
Notes
The Second Of Two Volumes
* * * * *
CONTENTS OF THE SECOND VOLUME
THE WASPS
Introduction
Text And Notes
THE BIRDS
Introduction
Text And Notes
THE FROGS
Introduction
Text And Notes
THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE
Introduction
Text And Notes
THE ECCLESIAZUSAE
Introduction
Text And Notes
PLUTUS
Introduction
Text And Notes
INDEX
THE WASPS
INTRODUCTION
"This Comedy, which was produced by its Author the year after the
performance of 'The Clouds,' may be taken as in some sort a companion
picture to that piece. Here the satire is directed against the passion of
the Athenians for the excitement of the law-courts, as in the former its
object was the new philosophy. And as the younger generation--the modern
school of thought--were there the subjects of the caricature, so here the
older citizens, who took their seats in court as jurymen day by day, to
the neglect of their private affairs and the encouragement of a litigious
disposition, appear in their turn in the mirror which the satirist holds
up. "
There are only two characters of any importance to the action--Philocleon
('friend of Cleon') and his son Bdelycleon ('enemy of Cleon'). The plot
is soon told. Philocleon is a bigoted devotee of the malady of
litigiousness so typical of his countrymen and an enthusiastic attendant
at the Courts in his capacity of 'dicast' or juryman. Bdelycleon
endeavours to persuade his father by every means in his power to change
this unsatisfactory manner of life for something nobler and more
profitable; but all in vain. As a last resource he keeps his father a
prisoner indoors, so that he cannot attend the tribunals.
The old man tries to escape, and these attempts are conceived in the
wildest vein of extravaganza. He endeavours to get out by the chimney,
pretending he is "only the smoke"; and all hands rush to clap a cover on
the chimney-top, and a big stone on that. He slips through a hole in the
tiles, and sits on the roof, pretending to be "only a sparrow"; and they
have to set a net to catch him. Then the Chorus of Wasps, representing
Philocleon''s fellow 'dicasts,' appear on the scene to rescue him. A
battle royal takes place on the stage; the Wasps, with their formidable
stings, trying to storm the house, while the son and his retainers defend
their position with desperate courage. Finally the assailants are
repulsed, and father and son agree upon a compromise. Bdelycleon
promises, on condition that his father gives up attending the public
trails, to set up a mock tribunal for him in his own house.
Presently the theft of a Sicilian cheese by the house-dog Labes gives the
old fellow an opportunity of exercising his judicial functions. Labes is
duly arraigned and witnesses examines. But alas! Philocleon inadvertently
casts his vote for the defendant's _acquittal_, the first time in his
life "such a thing has ever occurred," and the old man nearly dies of
vexation.
At this point follows the 'Parabasis,' or Author's personal address to
the audience, after which the concluding portion of the play has little
connection with the main theme. This is a fault, according to modern
ideas, common to many of these Comedies, but it is especially marked in
this particular instance. The final part might almost be a separate play,
under the title perhaps of 'The dicast turned gentleman,' and relates
various ridiculous mistakes and laughable blunders committed by
Philocleon, who, having given up his attendance on the law-courts, has
set up for playing a part in polite society.
The drama, as was very often the case, takes its title from the Chorus--a
band of old men dressed up as wasps, who acrimonious, stinging,
exasperated temper is meant to typify the character fostered among
Athenian citizens by excessive addiction to forensic business.
Racine, in the only comedy he attempted, 'Les Plaideurs,' borrows the
incident of the mock trial of the house-dog, amplifying and adding
further diverting features.
Perhaps 'The Wasps' is the least amusing of all our Author's pieces which
have come down to us--at any rate to a modern reader. The theme of its
satire, the litigious spirit of the Athenians, is after all purely local
and temporary, while the fun often strikes us as thin and forced.
Schlegel writes in his 'Dramatic Literature': "The subject is too
limited, the folly it ridicules appears a disease of too singular a
description, without a sufficient universality of application, and the
action is too much drawn out. "
* * * * *
THE WASPS
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
PHILOCLEON, a Dicast.
BDELYCLEON, his Son.
SOSIAS, House-servant of Philocleon.
XANTHIAS, House-servant of Philocleon.
BOYS.
A DOG.
A BAKER'S WIFE.
ACCUSER.
CHORUS OF ELDERS, costumed as Wasps.
SCENE: Philocleon's house at Athens.
* * * * *
THE WASPS
SOSIAS. Why, Xanthias! what are you doing, wretched man?
XANTHIAS. I am teaching myself how to rest; I have been awake and on
watch the whole night.
SOSIAS. So you want to earn trouble for your ribs,[1] eh? Don't you know
what sort of an animal we are guarding here?
XANTHIAS. Aye indeed! but I want to put my cares to sleep for a while.
SOSIAS. Beware what you do. I too feel soft sleep spreading over my eyes.
Resist it, for you must be as mad as a Corybant if you fall asleep. [2]
XANTHIAS. No! 'Tis Bacchus who lulls me off.
SOSIAS. Then you serve the same god as myself. Just now a heavy slumber
settled on my eyelids like a hostile Mede; A nodded and, faith! I had a
wondrous dream.
XANTHIAS. Indeed! and so had I. A dream such as I never had before. But
first tell me yours.
SOSIAS. Methinks I saw an eagle, a gigantic bird, descend upon the
market-place; it seized a brazen buckler with its talons and bore it away
into the highest heavens; then I saw 'twas Cleonymus had thrown it away.
XANTHIAS.
This Cleonymus is a riddle worth propounding among guests. How
can one and the same animal have cast away his buckler both on land, in
the sky and at sea? [3]
SOSIAS. Alas! what ill does such a dream portend for me?
XANTHIAS. Rest undisturbed! An it please the gods, no evil will befall
you.
SOSIAS. Nevertheless, 'tis a fatal omen when a man throws away his
weapons. But what was your dream? Let me hear.
XANTHIAS. Oh! it is a dream of high import. It has reference to the hull
of the State; to nothing less.
SOSIAS. Tell it me quickly; show me its very keel.
XANTHIAS. In my first slumber I thought I saw sheep, wearing cloaks and
carrying staves,[4] met in assembly on the Pnyx; a rapacious whale was
haranguing them and screaming like a pig that is being grilled.
SOSIAS. Faugh! faugh!
XANTHIAS. What's the matter?
SOSIAS. Enough, enough, spare me. Your dream stinks vilely of old
leather. [5]
XANTHIAS. Then this scoundrelly whale seized a balance and set to
weighing ox-fat. [6]
SOSIAS. Alas! 'tis our poor Athenian people, whom this accursed beast
wished to cut up and despoil of their fat.
XANTHIAS. Seated on the ground close to it, I saw Theorus,[7] who had the
head of a crow. The Alcibiades said to me in his lisping way, "Do you
thee? Theoruth hath a crow'th head. "[8]
SOSIAS. Ah! 'twas very well lisped indeed!
XANTHIAS. This is might strange; Theorus turning into a crow!
SOSIAS. No, it is glorious.
XANTHIAS. Why?
SOSIAS. Why? He was a man and now he has suddenly become a crow; does it
not foretoken that he will take his flight from here and go to the
crows? [9]
XANTHIAS. Interpreting dreams so aptly certainly deserves two obols. [10]
SOSIAS. Come, I must explain the matter to the spectators. But first a
few words of preamble: expect nothing very high-flown from us, nor any
jests stolen from Megara;[11] we have no slaves, who throw baskets of
nuts[12] to the spectators, nor any Heracles to be robbed of his
dinner,[13] nor is Euripides loaded with contumely; and despite the happy
chance that gave Cleon his fame[14] we shall not go out of our way to
belabour him again. Our little subject is not wanting in sense; it is
well within your capacity and at the same time cleverer than many vulgar
Comedies. --We have a master of great renown, who is now sleeping up there
on the other story. He has bidden us keep guard over his father, whom he
has locked in, so that he may not go out. This father has a curious
complaint; not one of you could hit upon or guess it, if I did not tell
you. --Well then, try! I hear Amynias, the son of Pronapus, over there,
saying, "He is addicted to gambling. "
XANTHIAS. He's wrong! He is imputing his own malady to others.
SOSIAS. No, yet love is indeed the principal part of his disease. Ah!
here is Sosias telling Dercylus, "He loves drinking. "
XANTHIAS. Not at all! The love of wine is the complaint of good men.
SOSIAS. "Well then," says Nicostratus of the Scambonian deme, "he either
loves sacrifices or else strangers. "
XANTHIAS. Ah! great gods! no, he is not fond of strangers, Nicostratus,
for he who says "Philoxenus" means a dirty fellow. [15]
SOSIAS. 'Tis mere waste of time, you will not find it out. If you want to
know it, keep silence! I will tell you our master's complaint: of all
men, it is he who is fondest of the Heliaea. [16] Thus, to be judging is
his hobby, and he groans if he is not sitting on the first seat. He does
not close an eye at night, and if he dozes off for an instant his mind
flies instantly to the clepsydra. [17] He is so accustomed to hold the
balloting pebble, that he awakes with his three fingers pinched
together[18] as if he were offering incense to the new moon. If he sees
scribbled on some doorway, "How charming is Demos,[19] the son of
Pyrilampes! " he will write beneath it, "How charming is Cemos! "[20] His
cock crowed one evening; said he, "He has had money from the accused to
awaken me too late. "[21] As soon as he rises from supper he bawls for his
shoes and away he rushes down there before dawn to sleep beforehand,
glued fast to the column like an oyster. [22] He is a merciless judge,
never failing to draw the convicting line[23] and return home with his
nails full of wax like a bumble-bee. Fearing he might run short of
pebbles[24] he keeps enough at home to cover a sea-beach, so that he may
have the means of recording his sentence. Such is his madness, and all
advice is useless; he only judges the more each day. So we keep him under
lock and key, to prevent his going out; for his son is broken-hearted
over this mania. At first he tried him with gentleness, wanted to
persuade him to wear the cloak no longer,[25] to go out no more; unable
to convince him, he had him bathed and purified according to the
ritual[26] without any greater success, and then handed him over the the
Corybantes;[27] but the old man escaped them, and carrying off the
kettle-drum,[28] rushed right into the midst of the Heliasts. As Cybele
could do nothing with her rites, his son took him again to Aegina and
forcibly made him lie one night in the temple of Asclepius, the God of
Healing, but before daylight there he was to be seen at the gate of the
tribunal. Since then we let him go out no more, but he escaped us by the
drains or by the skylights, so we stuffed up every opening with old rags
and made all secure; then he drove short sticks into the wall and sprang
from rung to rung like a magpie. Now we have stretched nets all round the
court and we keep watch and ward. The old man's name is Philocleon,[29]
'tis the best name he could have, and the son is called Bdelycleon,[30]
for he is a man very fit to cure an insolent fellow of his boasting.
BDELYCLEON. Xanthias! Sosias! Are you asleep?
XANTHIAS. Oh! oh!
SOSIAS. What is the matter?
XANTHIAS. Why, Bdelycleon is rising.
BDELYCLEON. Will neither of you come here? My father has got into the
stove-chamber and is ferreting about like a rat in his hole. Take care he
does not escape through the bath drain. You there, put all your weight
against the door.
SOSIAS. Aye, aye, master.
BDELYCLEON. By Zeus! what is that noise in the chimney? Hullo! who are
you?
PHILOCLEON. I am the smoke going up.
BDELYCLEON. Smoke? smoke of what wood?
PHILOCLEON. Of fig-wood. [31]
BDELYCLEON. Ah! 'this the most acrid of all. But you shall not get out.
Where is the chimney cover? [32] Come down again. Now, up with another
cross-bar. Now look out some fresh dodge. But am I not the most
unfortunate of men? Henceforward, I shall only be called the son of the
smoky old man. Slave, hold the door stoutly, throw your weight upon it,
come, put heart into the work. I will come and help you. Watch both lock
and bolt. Take care he does not gnaw through the peg.
PHILOCLEON. What are you dong, you wretches? Let me go out; it is
imperative that I go and judge, or Dracontides will be acquitted.
BDELYCLEON. What a dreadful calamity for you!
PHILOCLEON. Once at Delphi, the god, whom I was consulting, foretold,
that if an accused man escaped me, I should die of consumption.
BDELYCLEON. Apollo, the Saviour, what a prophecy!
PHILOCLEON. Ah! I beseech you, if you do not want my death, let me go.
BDELYCLEON. No, Philocleon, no never, by Posidon!
PHILOCLEON. Well then, I shall gnaw through the net[33] with my teeth.
BDELYCLEON. But you have no teeth.
PHILOCLEON. Oh! you rascal, how can I kill you? How? Give me a sword,
quick, or a conviction tablet.
BDELYCLEON. Our friend is planning some great crime.
PHILOCLEON. No, by Zeus! but I want to go and sell my ass and its
panniers, for 'this the first of the month. [34]
BDELYCLEON. Could I not sell it just as well?
PHILOCLEON. Not as well as I could.
BDELYCLEON. No, but better. Come, bring it here, bring it here by all
means--if you can.
XANTHIAS. What a clever excuse he has found now! What cunning to get you
to let him go out!
BDELYCLEON. Yes, but I have not swallowed the hook; I scented the trick.
I will no in and fetch the ass, so that the old man may not point his
weapons that way again. . . . [35] Stupid old ass, are you weeping because
you are going to be sold? Come, go a bit quicker. Why, what are you
moaning and groaning for? You might be carrying another Odysseus. [36]
XANTHIAS. Why, certainly, so he is! someone has crept beneath his belly.
BDELYCLEON. Who, who? Let us see.
XANTHIAS. 'Tis he.
BDELYCLEON. What does this mean? Who are you? Come, speak!
PHILOCLEON.
