It was not a trifling business to get the great
umbrella
up, and
properly balanced in her grasp; but at last I successfully accomplished
this, and saw it go bobbing down the street through the rain, without
the least appearance of having anybody underneath it, except when a
heavier fall than usual from some over-charged water-spout sent it
toppling over, on one side, and discovered Miss Mowcher struggling
violently to get it right.
properly balanced in her grasp; but at last I successfully accomplished
this, and saw it go bobbing down the street through the rain, without
the least appearance of having anybody underneath it, except when a
heavier fall than usual from some over-charged water-spout sent it
toppling over, on one side, and discovered Miss Mowcher struggling
violently to get it right.
Dickens - David Copperfield
Peggotty stopping for us to join him: we did so, and said no more.
The remembrance of this, in connexion with my former thought, however,
haunted me at intervals, even until the inexorable end came at its
appointed time.
We insensibly approached the old boat, and entered. Mrs. Gummidge, no
longer moping in her especial corner, was busy preparing breakfast.
She took Mr. Peggotty's hat, and placed his seat for him, and spoke so
comfortably and softly, that I hardly knew her.
'Dan'l, my good man,' said she, 'you must eat and drink, and keep up
your strength, for without it you'll do nowt. Try, that's a dear soul!
An if I disturb you with my clicketten,' she meant her chattering, 'tell
me so, Dan'l, and I won't. '
When she had served us all, she withdrew to the window, where she
sedulously employed herself in repairing some shirts and other clothes
belonging to Mr. Peggotty, and neatly folding and packing them in an old
oilskin bag, such as sailors carry. Meanwhile, she continued talking, in
the same quiet manner:
'All times and seasons, you know, Dan'l,' said Mrs. Gummidge, 'I shall
be allus here, and everythink will look accordin' to your wishes. I'm a
poor scholar, but I shall write to you, odd times, when you're away, and
send my letters to Mas'r Davy. Maybe you'll write to me too, Dan'l, odd
times, and tell me how you fare to feel upon your lone lorn journies. '
'You'll be a solitary woman heer, I'm afeerd! ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'No, no, Dan'l,' she returned, 'I shan't be that. Doen't you mind me. I
shall have enough to do to keep a Beein for you' (Mrs. Gummidge meant a
home), 'again you come back--to keep a Beein here for any that may hap
to come back, Dan'l. In the fine time, I shall set outside the door as I
used to do. If any should come nigh, they shall see the old widder woman
true to 'em, a long way off. '
What a change in Mrs. Gummidge in a little time! She was another woman.
She was so devoted, she had such a quick perception of what it would
be well to say, and what it would be well to leave unsaid; she was so
forgetful of herself, and so regardful of the sorrow about her, that I
held her in a sort of veneration. The work she did that day! There
were many things to be brought up from the beach and stored in the
outhouse--as oars, nets, sails, cordage, spars, lobster-pots, bags of
ballast, and the like; and though there was abundance of assistance
rendered, there being not a pair of working hands on all that shore but
would have laboured hard for Mr. Peggotty, and been well paid in being
asked to do it, yet she persisted, all day long, in toiling under
weights that she was quite unequal to, and fagging to and fro on all
sorts of unnecessary errands. As to deploring her misfortunes, she
appeared to have entirely lost the recollection of ever having had any.
She preserved an equable cheerfulness in the midst of her sympathy,
which was not the least astonishing part of the change that had come
over her. Querulousness was out of the question. I did not even observe
her voice to falter, or a tear to escape from her eyes, the whole day
through, until twilight; when she and I and Mr. Peggotty being alone
together, and he having fallen asleep in perfect exhaustion, she broke
into a half-suppressed fit of sobbing and crying, and taking me to the
door, said, 'Ever bless you, Mas'r Davy, be a friend to him, poor dear! '
Then, she immediately ran out of the house to wash her face, in order
that she might sit quietly beside him, and be found at work there, when
he should awake. In short I left her, when I went away at night, the
prop and staff of Mr. Peggotty's affliction; and I could not meditate
enough upon the lesson that I read in Mrs. Gummidge, and the new
experience she unfolded to me.
It was between nine and ten o'clock when, strolling in a melancholy
manner through the town, I stopped at Mr. Omer's door. Mr. Omer had
taken it so much to heart, his daughter told me, that he had been very
low and poorly all day, and had gone to bed without his pipe.
'A deceitful, bad-hearted girl,' said Mrs. Joram. 'There was no good in
her, ever! '
'Don't say so,' I returned. 'You don't think so. '
'Yes, I do! ' cried Mrs. Joram, angrily.
'No, no,' said I.
Mrs. Joram tossed her head, endeavouring to be very stern and cross; but
she could not command her softer self, and began to cry. I was young,
to be sure; but I thought much the better of her for this sympathy, and
fancied it became her, as a virtuous wife and mother, very well indeed.
'What will she ever do! ' sobbed Minnie. 'Where will she go! What will
become of her! Oh, how could she be so cruel, to herself and him! '
I remembered the time when Minnie was a young and pretty girl; and I was
glad she remembered it too, so feelingly.
'My little Minnie,' said Mrs. Joram, 'has only just now been got to
sleep. Even in her sleep she is sobbing for Em'ly. All day long, little
Minnie has cried for her, and asked me, over and over again, whether
Em'ly was wicked? What can I say to her, when Em'ly tied a ribbon off
her own neck round little Minnie's the last night she was here, and laid
her head down on the pillow beside her till she was fast asleep! The
ribbon's round my little Minnie's neck now. It ought not to be, perhaps,
but what can I do? Em'ly is very bad, but they were fond of one another.
And the child knows nothing! '
Mrs. Joram was so unhappy that her husband came out to take care of
her. Leaving them together, I went home to Peggotty's; more melancholy
myself, if possible, than I had been yet.
That good creature--I mean Peggotty--all untired by her late anxieties
and sleepless nights, was at her brother's, where she meant to stay till
morning. An old woman, who had been employed about the house for some
weeks past, while Peggotty had been unable to attend to it, was the
house's only other occupant besides myself. As I had no occasion for her
services, I sent her to bed, by no means against her will, and sat down
before the kitchen fire a little while, to think about all this.
I was blending it with the deathbed of the late Mr. Barkis, and was
driving out with the tide towards the distance at which Ham had looked
so singularly in the morning, when I was recalled from my wanderings by
a knock at the door. There was a knocker upon the door, but it was not
that which made the sound. The tap was from a hand, and low down upon
the door, as if it were given by a child.
It made me start as much as if it had been the knock of a footman to a
person of distinction. I opened the door; and at first looked down,
to my amazement, on nothing but a great umbrella that appeared to be
walking about of itself. But presently I discovered underneath it, Miss
Mowcher.
I might not have been prepared to give the little creature a very kind
reception, if, on her removing the umbrella, which her utmost efforts
were unable to shut up, she had shown me the 'volatile' expression of
face which had made so great an impression on me at our first and last
meeting. But her face, as she turned it up to mine, was so earnest;
and when I relieved her of the umbrella (which would have been an
inconvenient one for the Irish Giant), she wrung her little hands in
such an afflicted manner; that I rather inclined towards her.
'Miss Mowcher! ' said I, after glancing up and down the empty street,
without distinctly knowing what I expected to see besides; 'how do you
come here? What is the matter? ' She motioned to me with her short right
arm, to shut the umbrella for her; and passing me hurriedly, went into
the kitchen. When I had closed the door, and followed, with the umbrella
in my hand, I found her sitting on the corner of the fender--it was a
low iron one, with two flat bars at top to stand plates upon--in the
shadow of the boiler, swaying herself backwards and forwards, and
chafing her hands upon her knees like a person in pain.
Quite alarmed at being the only recipient of this untimely visit, and
the only spectator of this portentous behaviour, I exclaimed again,
'Pray tell me, Miss Mowcher, what is the matter! are you ill? '
'My dear young soul,' returned Miss Mowcher, squeezing her hands upon
her heart one over the other. 'I am ill here, I am very ill. To think
that it should come to this, when I might have known it and perhaps
prevented it, if I hadn't been a thoughtless fool! '
Again her large bonnet (very disproportionate to the figure) went
backwards and forwards, in her swaying of her little body to and fro;
while a most gigantic bonnet rocked, in unison with it, upon the wall.
'I am surprised,' I began, 'to see you so distressed and serious'--when
she interrupted me.
'Yes, it's always so! ' she said. 'They are all surprised, these
inconsiderate young people, fairly and full grown, to see any natural
feeling in a little thing like me! They make a plaything of me, use me
for their amusement, throw me away when they are tired, and wonder that
I feel more than a toy horse or a wooden soldier! Yes, yes, that's the
way. The old way! '
'It may be, with others,' I returned, 'but I do assure you it is not
with me. Perhaps I ought not to be at all surprised to see you as you
are now: I know so little of you. I said, without consideration, what I
thought. '
'What can I do? ' returned the little woman, standing up, and holding out
her arms to show herself. 'See! What I am, my father was; and my sister
is; and my brother is. I have worked for sister and brother these many
years--hard, Mr. Copperfield--all day. I must live. I do no harm. If
there are people so unreflecting or so cruel, as to make a jest of
me, what is left for me to do but to make a jest of myself, them, and
everything? If I do so, for the time, whose fault is that? Mine? '
No. Not Miss Mowcher's, I perceived.
'If I had shown myself a sensitive dwarf to your false friend,' pursued
the little woman, shaking her head at me, with reproachful earnestness,
'how much of his help or good will do you think I should ever have had?
If little Mowcher (who had no hand, young gentleman, in the making of
herself) addressed herself to him, or the like of him, because of her
misfortunes, when do you suppose her small voice would have been heard?
Little Mowcher would have as much need to live, if she was the bitterest
and dullest of pigmies; but she couldn't do it. No. She might whistle
for her bread and butter till she died of Air. '
Miss Mowcher sat down on the fender again, and took out her
handkerchief, and wiped her eyes.
'Be thankful for me, if you have a kind heart, as I think you have,' she
said, 'that while I know well what I am, I can be cheerful and endure it
all. I am thankful for myself, at any rate, that I can find my tiny way
through the world, without being beholden to anyone; and that in return
for all that is thrown at me, in folly or vanity, as I go along, I can
throw bubbles back. If I don't brood over all I want, it is the better
for me, and not the worse for anyone. If I am a plaything for you
giants, be gentle with me. '
Miss Mowcher replaced her handkerchief in her pocket, looking at me with
very intent expression all the while, and pursued:
'I saw you in the street just now. You may suppose I am not able to
walk as fast as you, with my short legs and short breath, and I couldn't
overtake you; but I guessed where you came, and came after you. I have
been here before, today, but the good woman wasn't at home. '
'Do you know her? ' I demanded.
'I know of her, and about her,' she replied, 'from Omer and Joram. I
was there at seven o'clock this morning. Do you remember what Steerforth
said to me about this unfortunate girl, that time when I saw you both at
the inn? '
The great bonnet on Miss Mowcher's head, and the greater bonnet on
the wall, began to go backwards and forwards again when she asked this
question.
I remembered very well what she referred to, having had it in my
thoughts many times that day. I told her so.
'May the Father of all Evil confound him,' said the little woman,
holding up her forefinger between me and her sparkling eyes, 'and ten
times more confound that wicked servant; but I believed it was YOU who
had a boyish passion for her! '
'I? ' I repeated.
'Child, child! In the name of blind ill-fortune,' cried Miss Mowcher,
wringing her hands impatiently, as she went to and fro again upon the
fender, 'why did you praise her so, and blush, and look disturbed? '
I could not conceal from myself that I had done this, though for a
reason very different from her supposition.
'What did I know? ' said Miss Mowcher, taking out her handkerchief again,
and giving one little stamp on the ground whenever, at short intervals,
she applied it to her eyes with both hands at once. 'He was crossing you
and wheedling you, I saw; and you were soft wax in his hands, I saw. Had
I left the room a minute, when his man told me that "Young Innocence"
(so he called you, and you may call him "Old Guilt" all the days of your
life) had set his heart upon her, and she was giddy and liked him, but
his master was resolved that no harm should come of it--more for your
sake than for hers--and that that was their business here? How could I
BUT believe him? I saw Steerforth soothe and please you by his praise
of her! You were the first to mention her name. You owned to an old
admiration of her. You were hot and cold, and red and white, all at once
when I spoke to you of her. What could I think--what DID I think--but
that you were a young libertine in everything but experience, and had
fallen into hands that had experience enough, and could manage you
(having the fancy) for your own good? Oh! oh! oh! They were afraid of my
finding out the truth,' exclaimed Miss Mowcher, getting off the
fender, and trotting up and down the kitchen with her two short arms
distressfully lifted up, 'because I am a sharp little thing--I need be,
to get through the world at all! --and they deceived me altogether, and
I gave the poor unfortunate girl a letter, which I fully believe was
the beginning of her ever speaking to Littimer, who was left behind on
purpose! '
I stood amazed at the revelation of all this perfidy, looking at Miss
Mowcher as she walked up and down the kitchen until she was out of
breath: when she sat upon the fender again, and, drying her face with
her handkerchief, shook her head for a long time, without otherwise
moving, and without breaking silence.
'My country rounds,' she added at length, 'brought me to Norwich, Mr.
Copperfield, the night before last. What I happened to find there,
about their secret way of coming and going, without you--which was
strange--led to my suspecting something wrong. I got into the coach
from London last night, as it came through Norwich, and was here this
morning. Oh, oh, oh! too late! '
Poor little Mowcher turned so chilly after all her crying and fretting,
that she turned round on the fender, putting her poor little wet feet in
among the ashes to warm them, and sat looking at the fire, like a large
doll. I sat in a chair on the other side of the hearth, lost in unhappy
reflections, and looking at the fire too, and sometimes at her.
'I must go,' she said at last, rising as she spoke. 'It's late. You
don't mistrust me? '
Meeting her sharp glance, which was as sharp as ever when she asked me,
I could not on that short challenge answer no, quite frankly.
'Come! ' said she, accepting the offer of my hand to help her over the
fender, and looking wistfully up into my face, 'you know you wouldn't
mistrust me, if I was a full-sized woman! '
I felt that there was much truth in this; and I felt rather ashamed of
myself.
'You are a young man,' she said, nodding. 'Take a word of advice,
even from three foot nothing. Try not to associate bodily defects with
mental, my good friend, except for a solid reason. '
She had got over the fender now, and I had got over my suspicion. I told
her that I believed she had given me a faithful account of herself,
and that we had both been hapless instruments in designing hands. She
thanked me, and said I was a good fellow.
'Now, mind! ' she exclaimed, turning back on her way to the door, and
looking shrewdly at me, with her forefinger up again. --'I have some
reason to suspect, from what I have heard--my ears are always open; I
can't afford to spare what powers I have--that they are gone abroad. But
if ever they return, if ever any one of them returns, while I am alive,
I am more likely than another, going about as I do, to find it out soon.
Whatever I know, you shall know. If ever I can do anything to serve the
poor betrayed girl, I will do it faithfully, please Heaven! And Littimer
had better have a bloodhound at his back, than little Mowcher! '
I placed implicit faith in this last statement, when I marked the look
with which it was accompanied.
'Trust me no more, but trust me no less, than you would trust a
full-sized woman,' said the little creature, touching me appealingly
on the wrist. 'If ever you see me again, unlike what I am now, and like
what I was when you first saw me, observe what company I am in. Call to
mind that I am a very helpless and defenceless little thing. Think of
me at home with my brother like myself and sister like myself, when my
day's work is done. Perhaps you won't, then, be very hard upon me, or
surprised if I can be distressed and serious. Good night! '
I gave Miss Mowcher my hand, with a very different opinion of her from
that which I had hitherto entertained, and opened the door to let her
out.
It was not a trifling business to get the great umbrella up, and
properly balanced in her grasp; but at last I successfully accomplished
this, and saw it go bobbing down the street through the rain, without
the least appearance of having anybody underneath it, except when a
heavier fall than usual from some over-charged water-spout sent it
toppling over, on one side, and discovered Miss Mowcher struggling
violently to get it right. After making one or two sallies to her
relief, which were rendered futile by the umbrella's hopping on again,
like an immense bird, before I could reach it, I came in, went to bed,
and slept till morning.
In the morning I was joined by Mr. Peggotty and by my old nurse, and we
went at an early hour to the coach office, where Mrs. Gummidge and Ham
were waiting to take leave of us.
'Mas'r Davy,' Ham whispered, drawing me aside, while Mr. Peggotty was
stowing his bag among the luggage, 'his life is quite broke up. He
doen't know wheer he's going; he doen't know--what's afore him; he's
bound upon a voyage that'll last, on and off, all the rest of his days,
take my wured for 't, unless he finds what he's a seeking of. I am sure
you'll be a friend to him, Mas'r Davy? '
'Trust me, I will indeed,' said I, shaking hands with Ham earnestly.
'Thankee. Thankee, very kind, sir. One thing furder. I'm in good employ,
you know, Mas'r Davy, and I han't no way now of spending what I gets.
Money's of no use to me no more, except to live. If you can lay it out
for him, I shall do my work with a better art. Though as to that, sir,'
and he spoke very steadily and mildly, 'you're not to think but I shall
work at all times, like a man, and act the best that lays in my power! '
I told him I was well convinced of it; and I hinted that I hoped the
time might even come, when he would cease to lead the lonely life he
naturally contemplated now.
'No, sir,' he said, shaking his head, 'all that's past and over with me,
sir. No one can never fill the place that's empty. But you'll bear in
mind about the money, as theer's at all times some laying by for him? '
Reminding him of the fact, that Mr. Peggotty derived a steady,
though certainly a very moderate income from the bequest of his late
brother-in-law, I promised to do so. We then took leave of each other. I
cannot leave him even now, without remembering with a pang, at once his
modest fortitude and his great sorrow.
As to Mrs. Gummidge, if I were to endeavour to describe how she ran down
the street by the side of the coach, seeing nothing but Mr. Peggotty on
the roof, through the tears she tried to repress, and dashing herself
against the people who were coming in the opposite direction, I should
enter on a task of some difficulty. Therefore I had better leave her
sitting on a baker's door-step, out of breath, with no shape at all
remaining in her bonnet, and one of her shoes off, lying on the pavement
at a considerable distance.
When we got to our journey's end, our first pursuit was to look about
for a little lodging for Peggotty, where her brother could have a
bed. We were so fortunate as to find one, of a very clean and cheap
description, over a chandler's shop, only two streets removed from
me. When we had engaged this domicile, I bought some cold meat at an
eating-house, and took my fellow-travellers home to tea; a proceeding,
I regret to state, which did not meet with Mrs. Crupp's approval, but
quite the contrary. I ought to observe, however, in explanation of that
lady's state of mind, that she was much offended by Peggotty's tucking
up her widow's gown before she had been ten minutes in the place, and
setting to work to dust my bedroom. This Mrs. Crupp regarded in the
light of a liberty, and a liberty, she said, was a thing she never
allowed.
Mr. Peggotty had made a communication to me on the way to London for
which I was not unprepared. It was, that he purposed first seeing Mrs.
Steerforth. As I felt bound to assist him in this, and also to mediate
between them; with the view of sparing the mother's feelings as much
as possible, I wrote to her that night. I told her as mildly as I could
what his wrong was, and what my own share in his injury. I said he was a
man in very common life, but of a most gentle and upright character; and
that I ventured to express a hope that she would not refuse to see him
in his heavy trouble. I mentioned two o'clock in the afternoon as the
hour of our coming, and I sent the letter myself by the first coach in
the morning.
At the appointed time, we stood at the door--the door of that house
where I had been, a few days since, so happy: where my youthful
confidence and warmth of heart had been yielded up so freely: which was
closed against me henceforth: which was now a waste, a ruin.
No Littimer appeared. The pleasanter face which had replaced his, on the
occasion of my last visit, answered to our summons, and went before
us to the drawing-room. Mrs. Steerforth was sitting there. Rosa Dartle
glided, as we went in, from another part of the room and stood behind
her chair.
I saw, directly, in his mother's face, that she knew from himself what
he had done. It was very pale; and bore the traces of deeper emotion
than my letter alone, weakened by the doubts her fondness would have
raised upon it, would have been likely to create. I thought her more
like him than ever I had thought her; and I felt, rather than saw, that
the resemblance was not lost on my companion.
She sat upright in her arm-chair, with a stately, immovable, passionless
air, that it seemed as if nothing could disturb. She looked very
steadfastly at Mr. Peggotty when he stood before her; and he looked
quite as steadfastly at her. Rosa Dartle's keen glance comprehended all
of us. For some moments not a word was spoken.
She motioned to Mr. Peggotty to be seated. He said, in a low voice, 'I
shouldn't feel it nat'ral, ma'am, to sit down in this house. I'd sooner
stand. ' And this was succeeded by another silence, which she broke thus:
'I know, with deep regret, what has brought you here. What do you want
of me? What do you ask me to do? '
He put his hat under his arm, and feeling in his breast for Emily's
letter, took it out, unfolded it, and gave it to her. 'Please to read
that, ma'am. That's my niece's hand! '
She read it, in the same stately and impassive way,--untouched by its
contents, as far as I could see,--and returned it to him.
'"Unless he brings me back a lady,"' said Mr. Peggotty, tracing out that
part with his finger. 'I come to know, ma'am, whether he will keep his
wured? '
'No,' she returned.
'Why not? ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'It is impossible. He would disgrace himself. You cannot fail to know
that she is far below him. '
'Raise her up! ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'She is uneducated and ignorant. '
'Maybe she's not; maybe she is,' said Mr. Peggotty. 'I think not, ma'am;
but I'm no judge of them things. Teach her better! '
'Since you oblige me to speak more plainly, which I am very unwilling
to do, her humble connexions would render such a thing impossible, if
nothing else did. '
'Hark to this, ma'am,' he returned, slowly and quietly. 'You know what
it is to love your child. So do I. If she was a hundred times my child,
I couldn't love her more. You doen't know what it is to lose your child.
I do. All the heaps of riches in the wureld would be nowt to me (if they
was mine) to buy her back! But, save her from this disgrace, and she
shall never be disgraced by us. Not one of us that she's growed up
among, not one of us that's lived along with her and had her for their
all in all, these many year, will ever look upon her pritty face again.
We'll be content to let her be; we'll be content to think of her, far
off, as if she was underneath another sun and sky; we'll be content to
trust her to her husband,--to her little children, p'raps,--and bide the
time when all of us shall be alike in quality afore our God! '
The rugged eloquence with which he spoke, was not devoid of all effect.
She still preserved her proud manner, but there was a touch of softness
in her voice, as she answered:
'I justify nothing. I make no counter-accusations. But I am sorry to
repeat, it is impossible. Such a marriage would irretrievably blight my
son's career, and ruin his prospects. Nothing is more certain than
that it never can take place, and never will. If there is any other
compensation--'
'I am looking at the likeness of the face,' interrupted Mr. Peggotty,
with a steady but a kindling eye, 'that has looked at me, in my home, at
my fireside, in my boat--wheer not? ---smiling and friendly, when it was
so treacherous, that I go half wild when I think of it. If the likeness
of that face don't turn to burning fire, at the thought of offering
money to me for my child's blight and ruin, it's as bad. I doen't know,
being a lady's, but what it's worse. '
She changed now, in a moment. An angry flush overspread her features;
and she said, in an intolerant manner, grasping the arm-chair tightly
with her hands:
'What compensation can you make to ME for opening such a pit between me
and my son? What is your love to mine? What is your separation to ours? '
Miss Dartle softly touched her, and bent down her head to whisper, but
she would not hear a word.
'No, Rosa, not a word! Let the man listen to what I say! My son, who has
been the object of my life, to whom its every thought has been devoted,
whom I have gratified from a child in every wish, from whom I have had
no separate existence since his birth,--to take up in a moment with a
miserable girl, and avoid me! To repay my confidence with systematic
deception, for her sake, and quit me for her! To set this wretched
fancy, against his mother's claims upon his duty, love, respect,
gratitude--claims that every day and hour of his life should have
strengthened into ties that nothing could be proof against! Is this no
injury? '
Again Rosa Dartle tried to soothe her; again ineffectually.
'I say, Rosa, not a word! If he can stake his all upon the lightest
object, I can stake my all upon a greater purpose. Let him go where he
will, with the means that my love has secured to him! Does he think to
reduce me by long absence? He knows his mother very little if he does.
Let him put away his whim now, and he is welcome back. Let him not put
her away now, and he never shall come near me, living or dying, while
I can raise my hand to make a sign against it, unless, being rid of her
for ever, he comes humbly to me and begs for my forgiveness. This is my
right. This is the acknowledgement I WILL HAVE. This is the separation
that there is between us! And is this,' she added, looking at her
visitor with the proud intolerant air with which she had begun, 'no
injury? '
While I heard and saw the mother as she said these words, I seemed to
hear and see the son, defying them. All that I had ever seen in him of
an unyielding, wilful spirit, I saw in her. All the understanding that
I had now of his misdirected energy, became an understanding of her
character too, and a perception that it was, in its strongest springs,
the same.
She now observed to me, aloud, resuming her former restraint, that it
was useless to hear more, or to say more, and that she begged to put an
end to the interview. She rose with an air of dignity to leave the room,
when Mr. Peggotty signified that it was needless.
'Doen't fear me being any hindrance to you, I have no more to say,
ma'am,' he remarked, as he moved towards the door. 'I come heer with no
hope, and I take away no hope. I have done what I thowt should be done,
but I never looked fur any good to come of my stan'ning where I do.
This has been too evil a house fur me and mine, fur me to be in my right
senses and expect it. '
With this, we departed; leaving her standing by her elbow-chair, a
picture of a noble presence and a handsome face.
We had, on our way out, to cross a paved hall, with glass sides and
roof, over which a vine was trained. Its leaves and shoots were green
then, and the day being sunny, a pair of glass doors leading to the
garden were thrown open. Rosa Dartle, entering this way with a noiseless
step, when we were close to them, addressed herself to me:
'You do well,' she said, 'indeed, to bring this fellow here! '
Such a concentration of rage and scorn as darkened her face, and flashed
in her jet-black eyes, I could not have thought compressible even into
that face. The scar made by the hammer was, as usual in this excited
state of her features, strongly marked. When the throbbing I had seen
before, came into it as I looked at her, she absolutely lifted up her
hand, and struck it.
'This is a fellow,' she said, 'to champion and bring here, is he not?
You are a true man! '
'Miss Dartle,' I returned, 'you are surely not so unjust as to condemn
ME! '
'Why do you bring division between these two mad creatures? ' she
returned. 'Don't you know that they are both mad with their own
self-will and pride? '
'Is it my doing? ' I returned.
'Is it your doing! ' she retorted. 'Why do you bring this man here? '
'He is a deeply-injured man, Miss Dartle,' I replied. 'You may not know
it. '
'I know that James Steerforth,' she said, with her hand on her bosom, as
if to prevent the storm that was raging there, from being loud, 'has
a false, corrupt heart, and is a traitor. But what need I know or care
about this fellow, and his common niece? '
'Miss Dartle,' I returned, 'you deepen the injury. It is sufficient
already. I will only say, at parting, that you do him a great wrong. '
'I do him no wrong,' she returned. 'They are a depraved, worthless set.
I would have her whipped! '
Mr. Peggotty passed on, without a word, and went out at the door.
'Oh, shame, Miss Dartle! shame! ' I said indignantly. 'How can you bear
to trample on his undeserved affliction! '
'I would trample on them all,' she answered. 'I would have his house
pulled down. I would have her branded on the face, dressed in rags,
and cast out in the streets to starve. If I had the power to sit in
judgement on her, I would see it done. See it done? I would do it! I
detest her. If I ever could reproach her with her infamous condition, I
would go anywhere to do so. If I could hunt her to her grave, I would.
If there was any word of comfort that would be a solace to her in her
dying hour, and only I possessed it, I wouldn't part with it for Life
itself. '
The mere vehemence of her words can convey, I am sensible, but a weak
impression of the passion by which she was possessed, and which made
itself articulate in her whole figure, though her voice, instead of
being raised, was lower than usual. No description I could give of her
would do justice to my recollection of her, or to her entire deliverance
of herself to her anger. I have seen passion in many forms, but I have
never seen it in such a form as that.
When I joined Mr. Peggotty, he was walking slowly and thoughtfully down
the hill. He told me, as soon as I came up with him, that having now
discharged his mind of what he had purposed doing in London, he meant
'to set out on his travels', that night. I asked him where he meant to
go? He only answered, 'I'm a going, sir, to seek my niece. '
We went back to the little lodging over the chandler's shop, and there
I found an opportunity of repeating to Peggotty what he had said to
me. She informed me, in return, that he had said the same to her that
morning. She knew no more than I did, where he was going, but she
thought he had some project shaped out in his mind.
I did not like to leave him, under such circumstances, and we all three
dined together off a beefsteak pie--which was one of the many good
things for which Peggotty was famous--and which was curiously flavoured
on this occasion, I recollect well, by a miscellaneous taste of tea,
coffee, butter, bacon, cheese, new loaves, firewood, candles, and walnut
ketchup, continually ascending from the shop. After dinner we sat for an
hour or so near the window, without talking much; and then Mr. Peggotty
got up, and brought his oilskin bag and his stout stick, and laid them
on the table.
He accepted, from his sister's stock of ready money, a small sum on
account of his legacy; barely enough, I should have thought, to keep him
for a month.
The remembrance of this, in connexion with my former thought, however,
haunted me at intervals, even until the inexorable end came at its
appointed time.
We insensibly approached the old boat, and entered. Mrs. Gummidge, no
longer moping in her especial corner, was busy preparing breakfast.
She took Mr. Peggotty's hat, and placed his seat for him, and spoke so
comfortably and softly, that I hardly knew her.
'Dan'l, my good man,' said she, 'you must eat and drink, and keep up
your strength, for without it you'll do nowt. Try, that's a dear soul!
An if I disturb you with my clicketten,' she meant her chattering, 'tell
me so, Dan'l, and I won't. '
When she had served us all, she withdrew to the window, where she
sedulously employed herself in repairing some shirts and other clothes
belonging to Mr. Peggotty, and neatly folding and packing them in an old
oilskin bag, such as sailors carry. Meanwhile, she continued talking, in
the same quiet manner:
'All times and seasons, you know, Dan'l,' said Mrs. Gummidge, 'I shall
be allus here, and everythink will look accordin' to your wishes. I'm a
poor scholar, but I shall write to you, odd times, when you're away, and
send my letters to Mas'r Davy. Maybe you'll write to me too, Dan'l, odd
times, and tell me how you fare to feel upon your lone lorn journies. '
'You'll be a solitary woman heer, I'm afeerd! ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'No, no, Dan'l,' she returned, 'I shan't be that. Doen't you mind me. I
shall have enough to do to keep a Beein for you' (Mrs. Gummidge meant a
home), 'again you come back--to keep a Beein here for any that may hap
to come back, Dan'l. In the fine time, I shall set outside the door as I
used to do. If any should come nigh, they shall see the old widder woman
true to 'em, a long way off. '
What a change in Mrs. Gummidge in a little time! She was another woman.
She was so devoted, she had such a quick perception of what it would
be well to say, and what it would be well to leave unsaid; she was so
forgetful of herself, and so regardful of the sorrow about her, that I
held her in a sort of veneration. The work she did that day! There
were many things to be brought up from the beach and stored in the
outhouse--as oars, nets, sails, cordage, spars, lobster-pots, bags of
ballast, and the like; and though there was abundance of assistance
rendered, there being not a pair of working hands on all that shore but
would have laboured hard for Mr. Peggotty, and been well paid in being
asked to do it, yet she persisted, all day long, in toiling under
weights that she was quite unequal to, and fagging to and fro on all
sorts of unnecessary errands. As to deploring her misfortunes, she
appeared to have entirely lost the recollection of ever having had any.
She preserved an equable cheerfulness in the midst of her sympathy,
which was not the least astonishing part of the change that had come
over her. Querulousness was out of the question. I did not even observe
her voice to falter, or a tear to escape from her eyes, the whole day
through, until twilight; when she and I and Mr. Peggotty being alone
together, and he having fallen asleep in perfect exhaustion, she broke
into a half-suppressed fit of sobbing and crying, and taking me to the
door, said, 'Ever bless you, Mas'r Davy, be a friend to him, poor dear! '
Then, she immediately ran out of the house to wash her face, in order
that she might sit quietly beside him, and be found at work there, when
he should awake. In short I left her, when I went away at night, the
prop and staff of Mr. Peggotty's affliction; and I could not meditate
enough upon the lesson that I read in Mrs. Gummidge, and the new
experience she unfolded to me.
It was between nine and ten o'clock when, strolling in a melancholy
manner through the town, I stopped at Mr. Omer's door. Mr. Omer had
taken it so much to heart, his daughter told me, that he had been very
low and poorly all day, and had gone to bed without his pipe.
'A deceitful, bad-hearted girl,' said Mrs. Joram. 'There was no good in
her, ever! '
'Don't say so,' I returned. 'You don't think so. '
'Yes, I do! ' cried Mrs. Joram, angrily.
'No, no,' said I.
Mrs. Joram tossed her head, endeavouring to be very stern and cross; but
she could not command her softer self, and began to cry. I was young,
to be sure; but I thought much the better of her for this sympathy, and
fancied it became her, as a virtuous wife and mother, very well indeed.
'What will she ever do! ' sobbed Minnie. 'Where will she go! What will
become of her! Oh, how could she be so cruel, to herself and him! '
I remembered the time when Minnie was a young and pretty girl; and I was
glad she remembered it too, so feelingly.
'My little Minnie,' said Mrs. Joram, 'has only just now been got to
sleep. Even in her sleep she is sobbing for Em'ly. All day long, little
Minnie has cried for her, and asked me, over and over again, whether
Em'ly was wicked? What can I say to her, when Em'ly tied a ribbon off
her own neck round little Minnie's the last night she was here, and laid
her head down on the pillow beside her till she was fast asleep! The
ribbon's round my little Minnie's neck now. It ought not to be, perhaps,
but what can I do? Em'ly is very bad, but they were fond of one another.
And the child knows nothing! '
Mrs. Joram was so unhappy that her husband came out to take care of
her. Leaving them together, I went home to Peggotty's; more melancholy
myself, if possible, than I had been yet.
That good creature--I mean Peggotty--all untired by her late anxieties
and sleepless nights, was at her brother's, where she meant to stay till
morning. An old woman, who had been employed about the house for some
weeks past, while Peggotty had been unable to attend to it, was the
house's only other occupant besides myself. As I had no occasion for her
services, I sent her to bed, by no means against her will, and sat down
before the kitchen fire a little while, to think about all this.
I was blending it with the deathbed of the late Mr. Barkis, and was
driving out with the tide towards the distance at which Ham had looked
so singularly in the morning, when I was recalled from my wanderings by
a knock at the door. There was a knocker upon the door, but it was not
that which made the sound. The tap was from a hand, and low down upon
the door, as if it were given by a child.
It made me start as much as if it had been the knock of a footman to a
person of distinction. I opened the door; and at first looked down,
to my amazement, on nothing but a great umbrella that appeared to be
walking about of itself. But presently I discovered underneath it, Miss
Mowcher.
I might not have been prepared to give the little creature a very kind
reception, if, on her removing the umbrella, which her utmost efforts
were unable to shut up, she had shown me the 'volatile' expression of
face which had made so great an impression on me at our first and last
meeting. But her face, as she turned it up to mine, was so earnest;
and when I relieved her of the umbrella (which would have been an
inconvenient one for the Irish Giant), she wrung her little hands in
such an afflicted manner; that I rather inclined towards her.
'Miss Mowcher! ' said I, after glancing up and down the empty street,
without distinctly knowing what I expected to see besides; 'how do you
come here? What is the matter? ' She motioned to me with her short right
arm, to shut the umbrella for her; and passing me hurriedly, went into
the kitchen. When I had closed the door, and followed, with the umbrella
in my hand, I found her sitting on the corner of the fender--it was a
low iron one, with two flat bars at top to stand plates upon--in the
shadow of the boiler, swaying herself backwards and forwards, and
chafing her hands upon her knees like a person in pain.
Quite alarmed at being the only recipient of this untimely visit, and
the only spectator of this portentous behaviour, I exclaimed again,
'Pray tell me, Miss Mowcher, what is the matter! are you ill? '
'My dear young soul,' returned Miss Mowcher, squeezing her hands upon
her heart one over the other. 'I am ill here, I am very ill. To think
that it should come to this, when I might have known it and perhaps
prevented it, if I hadn't been a thoughtless fool! '
Again her large bonnet (very disproportionate to the figure) went
backwards and forwards, in her swaying of her little body to and fro;
while a most gigantic bonnet rocked, in unison with it, upon the wall.
'I am surprised,' I began, 'to see you so distressed and serious'--when
she interrupted me.
'Yes, it's always so! ' she said. 'They are all surprised, these
inconsiderate young people, fairly and full grown, to see any natural
feeling in a little thing like me! They make a plaything of me, use me
for their amusement, throw me away when they are tired, and wonder that
I feel more than a toy horse or a wooden soldier! Yes, yes, that's the
way. The old way! '
'It may be, with others,' I returned, 'but I do assure you it is not
with me. Perhaps I ought not to be at all surprised to see you as you
are now: I know so little of you. I said, without consideration, what I
thought. '
'What can I do? ' returned the little woman, standing up, and holding out
her arms to show herself. 'See! What I am, my father was; and my sister
is; and my brother is. I have worked for sister and brother these many
years--hard, Mr. Copperfield--all day. I must live. I do no harm. If
there are people so unreflecting or so cruel, as to make a jest of
me, what is left for me to do but to make a jest of myself, them, and
everything? If I do so, for the time, whose fault is that? Mine? '
No. Not Miss Mowcher's, I perceived.
'If I had shown myself a sensitive dwarf to your false friend,' pursued
the little woman, shaking her head at me, with reproachful earnestness,
'how much of his help or good will do you think I should ever have had?
If little Mowcher (who had no hand, young gentleman, in the making of
herself) addressed herself to him, or the like of him, because of her
misfortunes, when do you suppose her small voice would have been heard?
Little Mowcher would have as much need to live, if she was the bitterest
and dullest of pigmies; but she couldn't do it. No. She might whistle
for her bread and butter till she died of Air. '
Miss Mowcher sat down on the fender again, and took out her
handkerchief, and wiped her eyes.
'Be thankful for me, if you have a kind heart, as I think you have,' she
said, 'that while I know well what I am, I can be cheerful and endure it
all. I am thankful for myself, at any rate, that I can find my tiny way
through the world, without being beholden to anyone; and that in return
for all that is thrown at me, in folly or vanity, as I go along, I can
throw bubbles back. If I don't brood over all I want, it is the better
for me, and not the worse for anyone. If I am a plaything for you
giants, be gentle with me. '
Miss Mowcher replaced her handkerchief in her pocket, looking at me with
very intent expression all the while, and pursued:
'I saw you in the street just now. You may suppose I am not able to
walk as fast as you, with my short legs and short breath, and I couldn't
overtake you; but I guessed where you came, and came after you. I have
been here before, today, but the good woman wasn't at home. '
'Do you know her? ' I demanded.
'I know of her, and about her,' she replied, 'from Omer and Joram. I
was there at seven o'clock this morning. Do you remember what Steerforth
said to me about this unfortunate girl, that time when I saw you both at
the inn? '
The great bonnet on Miss Mowcher's head, and the greater bonnet on
the wall, began to go backwards and forwards again when she asked this
question.
I remembered very well what she referred to, having had it in my
thoughts many times that day. I told her so.
'May the Father of all Evil confound him,' said the little woman,
holding up her forefinger between me and her sparkling eyes, 'and ten
times more confound that wicked servant; but I believed it was YOU who
had a boyish passion for her! '
'I? ' I repeated.
'Child, child! In the name of blind ill-fortune,' cried Miss Mowcher,
wringing her hands impatiently, as she went to and fro again upon the
fender, 'why did you praise her so, and blush, and look disturbed? '
I could not conceal from myself that I had done this, though for a
reason very different from her supposition.
'What did I know? ' said Miss Mowcher, taking out her handkerchief again,
and giving one little stamp on the ground whenever, at short intervals,
she applied it to her eyes with both hands at once. 'He was crossing you
and wheedling you, I saw; and you were soft wax in his hands, I saw. Had
I left the room a minute, when his man told me that "Young Innocence"
(so he called you, and you may call him "Old Guilt" all the days of your
life) had set his heart upon her, and she was giddy and liked him, but
his master was resolved that no harm should come of it--more for your
sake than for hers--and that that was their business here? How could I
BUT believe him? I saw Steerforth soothe and please you by his praise
of her! You were the first to mention her name. You owned to an old
admiration of her. You were hot and cold, and red and white, all at once
when I spoke to you of her. What could I think--what DID I think--but
that you were a young libertine in everything but experience, and had
fallen into hands that had experience enough, and could manage you
(having the fancy) for your own good? Oh! oh! oh! They were afraid of my
finding out the truth,' exclaimed Miss Mowcher, getting off the
fender, and trotting up and down the kitchen with her two short arms
distressfully lifted up, 'because I am a sharp little thing--I need be,
to get through the world at all! --and they deceived me altogether, and
I gave the poor unfortunate girl a letter, which I fully believe was
the beginning of her ever speaking to Littimer, who was left behind on
purpose! '
I stood amazed at the revelation of all this perfidy, looking at Miss
Mowcher as she walked up and down the kitchen until she was out of
breath: when she sat upon the fender again, and, drying her face with
her handkerchief, shook her head for a long time, without otherwise
moving, and without breaking silence.
'My country rounds,' she added at length, 'brought me to Norwich, Mr.
Copperfield, the night before last. What I happened to find there,
about their secret way of coming and going, without you--which was
strange--led to my suspecting something wrong. I got into the coach
from London last night, as it came through Norwich, and was here this
morning. Oh, oh, oh! too late! '
Poor little Mowcher turned so chilly after all her crying and fretting,
that she turned round on the fender, putting her poor little wet feet in
among the ashes to warm them, and sat looking at the fire, like a large
doll. I sat in a chair on the other side of the hearth, lost in unhappy
reflections, and looking at the fire too, and sometimes at her.
'I must go,' she said at last, rising as she spoke. 'It's late. You
don't mistrust me? '
Meeting her sharp glance, which was as sharp as ever when she asked me,
I could not on that short challenge answer no, quite frankly.
'Come! ' said she, accepting the offer of my hand to help her over the
fender, and looking wistfully up into my face, 'you know you wouldn't
mistrust me, if I was a full-sized woman! '
I felt that there was much truth in this; and I felt rather ashamed of
myself.
'You are a young man,' she said, nodding. 'Take a word of advice,
even from three foot nothing. Try not to associate bodily defects with
mental, my good friend, except for a solid reason. '
She had got over the fender now, and I had got over my suspicion. I told
her that I believed she had given me a faithful account of herself,
and that we had both been hapless instruments in designing hands. She
thanked me, and said I was a good fellow.
'Now, mind! ' she exclaimed, turning back on her way to the door, and
looking shrewdly at me, with her forefinger up again. --'I have some
reason to suspect, from what I have heard--my ears are always open; I
can't afford to spare what powers I have--that they are gone abroad. But
if ever they return, if ever any one of them returns, while I am alive,
I am more likely than another, going about as I do, to find it out soon.
Whatever I know, you shall know. If ever I can do anything to serve the
poor betrayed girl, I will do it faithfully, please Heaven! And Littimer
had better have a bloodhound at his back, than little Mowcher! '
I placed implicit faith in this last statement, when I marked the look
with which it was accompanied.
'Trust me no more, but trust me no less, than you would trust a
full-sized woman,' said the little creature, touching me appealingly
on the wrist. 'If ever you see me again, unlike what I am now, and like
what I was when you first saw me, observe what company I am in. Call to
mind that I am a very helpless and defenceless little thing. Think of
me at home with my brother like myself and sister like myself, when my
day's work is done. Perhaps you won't, then, be very hard upon me, or
surprised if I can be distressed and serious. Good night! '
I gave Miss Mowcher my hand, with a very different opinion of her from
that which I had hitherto entertained, and opened the door to let her
out.
It was not a trifling business to get the great umbrella up, and
properly balanced in her grasp; but at last I successfully accomplished
this, and saw it go bobbing down the street through the rain, without
the least appearance of having anybody underneath it, except when a
heavier fall than usual from some over-charged water-spout sent it
toppling over, on one side, and discovered Miss Mowcher struggling
violently to get it right. After making one or two sallies to her
relief, which were rendered futile by the umbrella's hopping on again,
like an immense bird, before I could reach it, I came in, went to bed,
and slept till morning.
In the morning I was joined by Mr. Peggotty and by my old nurse, and we
went at an early hour to the coach office, where Mrs. Gummidge and Ham
were waiting to take leave of us.
'Mas'r Davy,' Ham whispered, drawing me aside, while Mr. Peggotty was
stowing his bag among the luggage, 'his life is quite broke up. He
doen't know wheer he's going; he doen't know--what's afore him; he's
bound upon a voyage that'll last, on and off, all the rest of his days,
take my wured for 't, unless he finds what he's a seeking of. I am sure
you'll be a friend to him, Mas'r Davy? '
'Trust me, I will indeed,' said I, shaking hands with Ham earnestly.
'Thankee. Thankee, very kind, sir. One thing furder. I'm in good employ,
you know, Mas'r Davy, and I han't no way now of spending what I gets.
Money's of no use to me no more, except to live. If you can lay it out
for him, I shall do my work with a better art. Though as to that, sir,'
and he spoke very steadily and mildly, 'you're not to think but I shall
work at all times, like a man, and act the best that lays in my power! '
I told him I was well convinced of it; and I hinted that I hoped the
time might even come, when he would cease to lead the lonely life he
naturally contemplated now.
'No, sir,' he said, shaking his head, 'all that's past and over with me,
sir. No one can never fill the place that's empty. But you'll bear in
mind about the money, as theer's at all times some laying by for him? '
Reminding him of the fact, that Mr. Peggotty derived a steady,
though certainly a very moderate income from the bequest of his late
brother-in-law, I promised to do so. We then took leave of each other. I
cannot leave him even now, without remembering with a pang, at once his
modest fortitude and his great sorrow.
As to Mrs. Gummidge, if I were to endeavour to describe how she ran down
the street by the side of the coach, seeing nothing but Mr. Peggotty on
the roof, through the tears she tried to repress, and dashing herself
against the people who were coming in the opposite direction, I should
enter on a task of some difficulty. Therefore I had better leave her
sitting on a baker's door-step, out of breath, with no shape at all
remaining in her bonnet, and one of her shoes off, lying on the pavement
at a considerable distance.
When we got to our journey's end, our first pursuit was to look about
for a little lodging for Peggotty, where her brother could have a
bed. We were so fortunate as to find one, of a very clean and cheap
description, over a chandler's shop, only two streets removed from
me. When we had engaged this domicile, I bought some cold meat at an
eating-house, and took my fellow-travellers home to tea; a proceeding,
I regret to state, which did not meet with Mrs. Crupp's approval, but
quite the contrary. I ought to observe, however, in explanation of that
lady's state of mind, that she was much offended by Peggotty's tucking
up her widow's gown before she had been ten minutes in the place, and
setting to work to dust my bedroom. This Mrs. Crupp regarded in the
light of a liberty, and a liberty, she said, was a thing she never
allowed.
Mr. Peggotty had made a communication to me on the way to London for
which I was not unprepared. It was, that he purposed first seeing Mrs.
Steerforth. As I felt bound to assist him in this, and also to mediate
between them; with the view of sparing the mother's feelings as much
as possible, I wrote to her that night. I told her as mildly as I could
what his wrong was, and what my own share in his injury. I said he was a
man in very common life, but of a most gentle and upright character; and
that I ventured to express a hope that she would not refuse to see him
in his heavy trouble. I mentioned two o'clock in the afternoon as the
hour of our coming, and I sent the letter myself by the first coach in
the morning.
At the appointed time, we stood at the door--the door of that house
where I had been, a few days since, so happy: where my youthful
confidence and warmth of heart had been yielded up so freely: which was
closed against me henceforth: which was now a waste, a ruin.
No Littimer appeared. The pleasanter face which had replaced his, on the
occasion of my last visit, answered to our summons, and went before
us to the drawing-room. Mrs. Steerforth was sitting there. Rosa Dartle
glided, as we went in, from another part of the room and stood behind
her chair.
I saw, directly, in his mother's face, that she knew from himself what
he had done. It was very pale; and bore the traces of deeper emotion
than my letter alone, weakened by the doubts her fondness would have
raised upon it, would have been likely to create. I thought her more
like him than ever I had thought her; and I felt, rather than saw, that
the resemblance was not lost on my companion.
She sat upright in her arm-chair, with a stately, immovable, passionless
air, that it seemed as if nothing could disturb. She looked very
steadfastly at Mr. Peggotty when he stood before her; and he looked
quite as steadfastly at her. Rosa Dartle's keen glance comprehended all
of us. For some moments not a word was spoken.
She motioned to Mr. Peggotty to be seated. He said, in a low voice, 'I
shouldn't feel it nat'ral, ma'am, to sit down in this house. I'd sooner
stand. ' And this was succeeded by another silence, which she broke thus:
'I know, with deep regret, what has brought you here. What do you want
of me? What do you ask me to do? '
He put his hat under his arm, and feeling in his breast for Emily's
letter, took it out, unfolded it, and gave it to her. 'Please to read
that, ma'am. That's my niece's hand! '
She read it, in the same stately and impassive way,--untouched by its
contents, as far as I could see,--and returned it to him.
'"Unless he brings me back a lady,"' said Mr. Peggotty, tracing out that
part with his finger. 'I come to know, ma'am, whether he will keep his
wured? '
'No,' she returned.
'Why not? ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'It is impossible. He would disgrace himself. You cannot fail to know
that she is far below him. '
'Raise her up! ' said Mr. Peggotty.
'She is uneducated and ignorant. '
'Maybe she's not; maybe she is,' said Mr. Peggotty. 'I think not, ma'am;
but I'm no judge of them things. Teach her better! '
'Since you oblige me to speak more plainly, which I am very unwilling
to do, her humble connexions would render such a thing impossible, if
nothing else did. '
'Hark to this, ma'am,' he returned, slowly and quietly. 'You know what
it is to love your child. So do I. If she was a hundred times my child,
I couldn't love her more. You doen't know what it is to lose your child.
I do. All the heaps of riches in the wureld would be nowt to me (if they
was mine) to buy her back! But, save her from this disgrace, and she
shall never be disgraced by us. Not one of us that she's growed up
among, not one of us that's lived along with her and had her for their
all in all, these many year, will ever look upon her pritty face again.
We'll be content to let her be; we'll be content to think of her, far
off, as if she was underneath another sun and sky; we'll be content to
trust her to her husband,--to her little children, p'raps,--and bide the
time when all of us shall be alike in quality afore our God! '
The rugged eloquence with which he spoke, was not devoid of all effect.
She still preserved her proud manner, but there was a touch of softness
in her voice, as she answered:
'I justify nothing. I make no counter-accusations. But I am sorry to
repeat, it is impossible. Such a marriage would irretrievably blight my
son's career, and ruin his prospects. Nothing is more certain than
that it never can take place, and never will. If there is any other
compensation--'
'I am looking at the likeness of the face,' interrupted Mr. Peggotty,
with a steady but a kindling eye, 'that has looked at me, in my home, at
my fireside, in my boat--wheer not? ---smiling and friendly, when it was
so treacherous, that I go half wild when I think of it. If the likeness
of that face don't turn to burning fire, at the thought of offering
money to me for my child's blight and ruin, it's as bad. I doen't know,
being a lady's, but what it's worse. '
She changed now, in a moment. An angry flush overspread her features;
and she said, in an intolerant manner, grasping the arm-chair tightly
with her hands:
'What compensation can you make to ME for opening such a pit between me
and my son? What is your love to mine? What is your separation to ours? '
Miss Dartle softly touched her, and bent down her head to whisper, but
she would not hear a word.
'No, Rosa, not a word! Let the man listen to what I say! My son, who has
been the object of my life, to whom its every thought has been devoted,
whom I have gratified from a child in every wish, from whom I have had
no separate existence since his birth,--to take up in a moment with a
miserable girl, and avoid me! To repay my confidence with systematic
deception, for her sake, and quit me for her! To set this wretched
fancy, against his mother's claims upon his duty, love, respect,
gratitude--claims that every day and hour of his life should have
strengthened into ties that nothing could be proof against! Is this no
injury? '
Again Rosa Dartle tried to soothe her; again ineffectually.
'I say, Rosa, not a word! If he can stake his all upon the lightest
object, I can stake my all upon a greater purpose. Let him go where he
will, with the means that my love has secured to him! Does he think to
reduce me by long absence? He knows his mother very little if he does.
Let him put away his whim now, and he is welcome back. Let him not put
her away now, and he never shall come near me, living or dying, while
I can raise my hand to make a sign against it, unless, being rid of her
for ever, he comes humbly to me and begs for my forgiveness. This is my
right. This is the acknowledgement I WILL HAVE. This is the separation
that there is between us! And is this,' she added, looking at her
visitor with the proud intolerant air with which she had begun, 'no
injury? '
While I heard and saw the mother as she said these words, I seemed to
hear and see the son, defying them. All that I had ever seen in him of
an unyielding, wilful spirit, I saw in her. All the understanding that
I had now of his misdirected energy, became an understanding of her
character too, and a perception that it was, in its strongest springs,
the same.
She now observed to me, aloud, resuming her former restraint, that it
was useless to hear more, or to say more, and that she begged to put an
end to the interview. She rose with an air of dignity to leave the room,
when Mr. Peggotty signified that it was needless.
'Doen't fear me being any hindrance to you, I have no more to say,
ma'am,' he remarked, as he moved towards the door. 'I come heer with no
hope, and I take away no hope. I have done what I thowt should be done,
but I never looked fur any good to come of my stan'ning where I do.
This has been too evil a house fur me and mine, fur me to be in my right
senses and expect it. '
With this, we departed; leaving her standing by her elbow-chair, a
picture of a noble presence and a handsome face.
We had, on our way out, to cross a paved hall, with glass sides and
roof, over which a vine was trained. Its leaves and shoots were green
then, and the day being sunny, a pair of glass doors leading to the
garden were thrown open. Rosa Dartle, entering this way with a noiseless
step, when we were close to them, addressed herself to me:
'You do well,' she said, 'indeed, to bring this fellow here! '
Such a concentration of rage and scorn as darkened her face, and flashed
in her jet-black eyes, I could not have thought compressible even into
that face. The scar made by the hammer was, as usual in this excited
state of her features, strongly marked. When the throbbing I had seen
before, came into it as I looked at her, she absolutely lifted up her
hand, and struck it.
'This is a fellow,' she said, 'to champion and bring here, is he not?
You are a true man! '
'Miss Dartle,' I returned, 'you are surely not so unjust as to condemn
ME! '
'Why do you bring division between these two mad creatures? ' she
returned. 'Don't you know that they are both mad with their own
self-will and pride? '
'Is it my doing? ' I returned.
'Is it your doing! ' she retorted. 'Why do you bring this man here? '
'He is a deeply-injured man, Miss Dartle,' I replied. 'You may not know
it. '
'I know that James Steerforth,' she said, with her hand on her bosom, as
if to prevent the storm that was raging there, from being loud, 'has
a false, corrupt heart, and is a traitor. But what need I know or care
about this fellow, and his common niece? '
'Miss Dartle,' I returned, 'you deepen the injury. It is sufficient
already. I will only say, at parting, that you do him a great wrong. '
'I do him no wrong,' she returned. 'They are a depraved, worthless set.
I would have her whipped! '
Mr. Peggotty passed on, without a word, and went out at the door.
'Oh, shame, Miss Dartle! shame! ' I said indignantly. 'How can you bear
to trample on his undeserved affliction! '
'I would trample on them all,' she answered. 'I would have his house
pulled down. I would have her branded on the face, dressed in rags,
and cast out in the streets to starve. If I had the power to sit in
judgement on her, I would see it done. See it done? I would do it! I
detest her. If I ever could reproach her with her infamous condition, I
would go anywhere to do so. If I could hunt her to her grave, I would.
If there was any word of comfort that would be a solace to her in her
dying hour, and only I possessed it, I wouldn't part with it for Life
itself. '
The mere vehemence of her words can convey, I am sensible, but a weak
impression of the passion by which she was possessed, and which made
itself articulate in her whole figure, though her voice, instead of
being raised, was lower than usual. No description I could give of her
would do justice to my recollection of her, or to her entire deliverance
of herself to her anger. I have seen passion in many forms, but I have
never seen it in such a form as that.
When I joined Mr. Peggotty, he was walking slowly and thoughtfully down
the hill. He told me, as soon as I came up with him, that having now
discharged his mind of what he had purposed doing in London, he meant
'to set out on his travels', that night. I asked him where he meant to
go? He only answered, 'I'm a going, sir, to seek my niece. '
We went back to the little lodging over the chandler's shop, and there
I found an opportunity of repeating to Peggotty what he had said to
me. She informed me, in return, that he had said the same to her that
morning. She knew no more than I did, where he was going, but she
thought he had some project shaped out in his mind.
I did not like to leave him, under such circumstances, and we all three
dined together off a beefsteak pie--which was one of the many good
things for which Peggotty was famous--and which was curiously flavoured
on this occasion, I recollect well, by a miscellaneous taste of tea,
coffee, butter, bacon, cheese, new loaves, firewood, candles, and walnut
ketchup, continually ascending from the shop. After dinner we sat for an
hour or so near the window, without talking much; and then Mr. Peggotty
got up, and brought his oilskin bag and his stout stick, and laid them
on the table.
He accepted, from his sister's stock of ready money, a small sum on
account of his legacy; barely enough, I should have thought, to keep him
for a month.