No More Learning

BREASTPLATE-MAKER. What! do you wipe with both hands?

TRYGAEUS. Aye, so that I may not be accused of robbing the State, by
blocking up an oar-hole in the galley. [381]

BREASTPLATE-MAKER. So you would pay ten minae[382] for a night-stool?

TRYGAEUS. Undoubtedly, you rascal. Do you think I would sell my rump for
a thousand drachmae? [383]

BREASTPLATE-MAKER. Come, have the money paid over to me.

TRYGAEUS. No, friend; I find it hurts me to sit on. Take it away, I won't
buy.

A TRUMPET-MAKER. What is to be done with this trumpet, for which I gave
sixty drachmae the other day?

TRYGAEUS. Pour lead into the hollow and fit a good, long stick to the
top; and you will have a balanced cottabos. [384]

TRUMPET-MAKER. Ha! would you mock me?

TRYGAEUS. Well, here's another notion. Pour in lead as I said, add here a
dish hung on strings, and you will have a balance for weighing the figs
which you give your slaves in the fields.

A HELMET-MAKER. Cursed fate! I am ruined. Here are helmets, for which I
gave a mina each. What am I to do with them? who will buy them?

TRYGAEUS. Go and sell them to the Egyptians; they will do for measuring
loosening medicines. [385]

A SPEAR-MAKER. Ah! poor helmet-maker, things are indeed in a bad way.

TRYGAEUS. That man has no cause for complaint.

SPEAR-MAKER. But helmets will be no more used.

TRYGAEUS. Let him learn to fit a handle to them and he can sell them for
more money. [386]

SPEAR-MAKER. Let us be off, comrade.

TRYGAEUS. No, I want to buy these spears.

SPEAR-MAKER. What will you give?

TRYGAEUS. If they could be split in two, I would take them at a drachma
per hundred to use as vine-props.

SPEAR-MAKER. The insolent dog! Let us go, friend.

TRYGAEUS. Ah! here come the guests, children from the table to relieve
themselves; I fancy they also want to hum over what they will be singing
presently. Hi! child! what do you reckon to sing? Stand there and give me
the opening line.

THE SON OF LAMACHUS. "Glory to the young warriors. . . . "

TRYGAEUS. Oh! leave off about your young warriors, you little wretch; we
are at peace and you are an idiot and a rascal.

SON OF LAMACHUS. "The skirmish begins, the hollow bucklers clash against
each other. "[387]

TRYGAEUS. Bucklers! Leave me in peace with your bucklers.

SON OF LAMACHUS. "And then there came groanings and shouts of victory. "

TRYGAEUS. Groanings! ah! by Bacchus! look out for yourself, you cursed
squaller, if you start wearying us again with your groanings and hollow
bucklers.

SON OF LAMACHUS. Then what should I sing? Tell me what pleases you.

TRYGAEUS. "'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen," or something
similar, as, for instance, "Everything that could tickle the palate was
placed on the table. "

SON OF LAMACHUS. "'Tis thus they feasted on the flesh of oxen and, tired
of warfare, unharnessed their foaming steeds. "

TRYGAEUS. That's splendid; tired of warfare, they seat themselves at
table; sing, sing to us how they still go on eating after they are
satiated.

SON OF LAMACHUS. "The meal over, they girded themselves . . . "

TRYGAEUS. With good wine, no doubt?

SON OF LAMACHUS. ". . . with armour and rushed forth from the towers, and a
terrible shout arose. "

TRYGAEUS. Get you gone, you little scapegrace, you and your battles! You
sing of nothing but warfare. Who is your father then?

SON OF LAMACHUS. My father?

TRYGAEUS. Why yes, your father.

SON OF LAMACHUS. I am Lamachus' son.

TRYGAEUS. Oh! oh! I could indeed have sworn, when I was listening to you,
that you were the son of some warrior who dreams of nothing but wounds
and bruises, of some Boulomachus or Clausimachus;[388] go and sing your
plaguey songs to the spearmen. . . . Where is the son of Cleonymus? Sing me
something before going back to the feast. I am at least certain he will
not sing of battles, for his father is far too careful a man.

SON OF CLEONYMUS. "An inhabitant of Sa? s is parading with the spotless
shield which I regret to say I have thrown into a thicket. "[389]

TRYGAEUS. Tell me, you little good-for-nothing, are you singing that for
your father?

SON or CLEONYMUS. "But I saved my life. "

TRYGAEUS. And dishonoured your family. But let us go in; I am very
certain, that being the son of such a father, you will never forget this
song of the buckler. You, who remain to the feast, 'tis your duty to
devour dish after dish and not to ply empty jaws. Come, put heart into
the work and eat with your mouths full. For, believe me, poor friends,
white teeth are useless furniture, if they chew nothing.

CHORUS. Never fear; thanks all the same for your good advice.

TRYGAEUS. You, who yesterday were dying of hunger, come, stuff yourselves
with this fine hare-stew; 'tis not every day that we find cakes lying
neglected. Eat, eat, or I predict you will soon regret it.

CHORUS. Silence! Keep silence! Here is the bride about to appear! Take
nuptial torches and let all rejoice and join in our songs. Then, when we
have danced, clinked our cups and thrown Hyperbolus through the doorway,
we will carry back all our farming tools to the fields and shall pray the
gods to give wealth to the Greeks and to cause us all to gather in an
abundant barley harvest, enjoy a noble vintage, to grant that we may
choke with good figs, that our wives may prove fruitful, that in fact we
may recover all our lost blessings, and that the sparkling fire may be
restored to the hearth.

TRYGAEUS. Come, wife, to the fields and seek, my beauty, to brighten and
enliven my nights. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

CHORUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! oh! thrice happy man, who so well
deserve your good fortune!

TRYGAEUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

CHORUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

FIRST SEMI-CHORUS. What shall we do to her?

SECOND SEMI-CHORUS. What shall we do to her?

FIRST SEMI-CHORUS. We will gather her kisses.

SECOND SEMI-CHORUS. We will gather her kisses.

CHORUS. Come, comrades, we who are in the first row, let us pick up the
bridegroom and carry him in triumph. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

TRYGAEUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

CHORUS. You shall have a fine house, no cares and the finest of figs. Oh!
Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

TRYGAEUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

CHORUS. The bridegroom's fig is great and thick; the bride's is very soft
and tender.

TRYGAEUS.
While eating and drinking deep draughts of wine, continue to
repeat: Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

CHORUS. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!

TRYGAEUS. Farewell, farewell, my friends. All who come with me shall have
cakes galore.

* * * * *

FINIS OF "PEACE"

* * * * *

Footnotes:

[262] An obscene allusion, the faeces of catamites being 'well ground'
from the treatment they are in the habit of submitting to.

[263] 'Peace' was no doubt produced at the festival of the Apaturia,
which was kept at the end of October, a period when strangers were
numerous in Athens.

[264] The winged steed of Perseus--an allusion to a lost tragedy of
Euripides, in which Bellerophon was introduced riding on Pegasus.

[265] Fearing that if it caught a whiff from earth to its liking, the
beetle might descend from the highest heaven to satisfy itself.

[266] The Persians and the Spartans were not then allied as the Scholiast
states, since a treaty between them was only concluded in 412 B. C. , i. e.
eight years after the production of 'Peace'; the great king, however, was
trying to derive advantages out of the dissensions in Greece.

[267] _Go to the crows_, a proverbial expression equivalent to our _Go to
the devil_.

[268] Aesop tells us that the eagle and the beetle were at war; the eagle
devoured the beetle's young and the latter got into its nest and tumbled
out its eggs. On this the eagle complained to Zeus, who advised it to lay
its eggs in his bosom; but the beetle flew up to the abode of Zeus, who,
forgetful of the eagle's eggs, at once rose to chase off the
objectionable insect. The eggs fell to earth and were smashed to bits.

[269] Pegasus is introduced by Euripides both in his 'Andromeda' and his
'Bellerophon. '

[270] Boats, called 'beetles,' doubtless because in form they resembled
these insects, were built at Naxos.

[271] Nature had divided the Piraeus into three basins--Cantharos,
Aphrodisium and Zea; [Greek: kantharos] is Greek for a dung-beetle.

[272] In allusion to Euripides' fondness for introducing lame heroes in
his plays.

[273] An allusion to the proverbial nickname applied to the
Chians--[Greek: Chios apopat_on], "shitting Chian. " On account of their
notoriously pederastic habits, the inhabitants of this island were known
throughout Greece as '_loose-arsed_' Chians, and therefore always on the
point of voiding their faeces. There is a further joke, of course, in
connection with the hundred and one frivolous pretexts which the
Athenians invented for exacting contributions from the maritime allies.

[274] Masters of Pylos and Sphacteria, the Athenians had brought home the
three hundred prisoners taken in the latter place in 425 B. C. ; the
Spartans had several times sent envoys to offer peace and to demand back
both Pylos and the prisoners, but the Athenian pride had caused these
proposals to be long refused. Finally the prisoners had been given up in
423 B. C. , but the War was continued nevertheless.

[275] An important town in Eastern Laconia on the Argolic gulf,
celebrated for a temple where a festival was held annually in honour of
Achilles. It had been taken and pillaged by the Athenians in the second
year of the Peloponnesian War, 430 B. C. As he utters this imprecation,
War throws some leeks, [Greek: prasa], the root-word of the name Prasiae,
into his mortar.

[276] War throws some garlic into his mortar as emblematical of the city
of Megara, where it was grown in abundance.

[277] Because the smell of bruised garlic causes the eyes to water.

[278] He throws cheese into the mortar as emblematical of Sicily, on
account of its rich pastures.

[279] Emblematical of Athens. The honey of Mount Hymettus was famous.

[280] Cleon, who had lately fallen before Amphipolis, in 422 B. C.

[281] An island in the Aegean Sea, on the coast of Thrace and opposite
the mouth of the Hebrus; the Mysteries are said to have found their first
home in this island, where the Cabirian gods were worshipped; this cult,
shrouded in deep mystery to even the initiates themselves, has remained
an almost insoluble problem for the modern critic. It was said that the
wishes of the initiates were always granted, and they were feared as
to-day the _jettatori_ (spell-throwers, casters of the evil eye) in
Sicily are feared.

[282] Brasidas perished in Thrace in the same battle as Cleon at
Amphipolis, 422 B. C.

[283] An Athenian general as ambitious as he was brave. In 423 B. C. he
had failed in an enterprise against Heraclea, a storm having destroyed
his fleet. Since then he had distinguished himself in several actions,
and was destined, some years later, to share the command of the
expedition to Sicily with Alcibiades and Nicias.

[284] Meaning, to start on a military expedition.

[285] Cleon.

[286] The Chorus insist on the conventional choric dance.

[287] One of the most favourite games with the Greeks. A stick was set
upright in the ground and to this the beam of a balance was attached by
its centre. Two vessels were hung from the extremities of the beam so as
to balance; beneath these two other and larger dishes were placed and
filled with water, and in the middle of each a brazen figure, called
Manes, was stood. The game consisted in throwing drops of wine from an
agreed distance into one or the other vessel, so that, dragged downwards
by the weight of the liquor, it bumped against Manes.

[288] A general of austere habits; he disposed of all his property to pay
the cost of a naval expedition, in which he beat the fleet of the foe off
the promontory of Rhium in 429 B. C.

[289] The Lyceum was a portico ornamented with paintings and surrounded
with gardens, in which military exercises took place.

[290] A citizen of Miletus, who betrayed his country to the people of
Priene. When asked what he purposed, he replied, "Nothing bad," which
expression had therefore passed into a proverb.

[291] Hermes was the god of chance.

[292] As the soldiers had to do when starting on an expedition.

[293] That is, you are pedicated.

[294] The initiated were thought to enjoy greater happiness after death.

[295] He summons Zeus to reveal Trygaeus' conspiracy.

[296] An Athenian captain, who later had the recall of Alcibiades decreed
by the Athenian people; in 'The Birds' Aristophanes represents him as a
cowardly braggart. He was the reactionary leader who established the
Oligarchical Government of the Four Hundred, 411 B. C. , after the failure
of the Syracusan expedition.

[297] Among other attributes, Hermes was the god of thieves.

[298] Alluding to the eclipses of the sun and the moon.

[299] The Panathenaea were dedicated to Athene, the Mysteries to Demeter,
the Dipolia to Zeus, the Adonia to Aphrodite and Adonis. Trygaeus
promises Hermes that he shall be worshipped in the place of all the other
gods.

[300] The pun here cannot be kept. The word [Greek: paian], Paean,
resembles [Greek: paiein], to strike; hence the word, as recalling the
blows and wounds of the war, seems of ill omen to Trygaeus.

[301] The device on his shield was a Gorgon's head. (_See_ 'The
Acharnians. ')

[302] Both Sparta and Athens had sought the alliance of the Argives; they
had kept themselves strictly neutral and had received pay from both
sides. But, the year after the production of 'The Wasps,' they openly
joined Athens, had attacked Epidaurus and got cut to pieces by the
Spartans.

[303] These are the Spartan prisoners from Sphacteria, who were lying in
gaol at Athens. They were chained fast to large beams of wood.

[304] 'Twas want of force, not want of will. They had suffered more than
any other people from the war. (_See_ 'The Acharnians. ')

[305] Meaning, look chiefly to your fleet. This was the counsel that
Themistocles frequently gave the Athenians.

[306] A metaphor referring to the abundant vintages that peace would
assure.

[307] The goddess of fruits.

[308] Aristophanes personifies under this name the sacred ceremonies in
general which peace would allow to be celebrated with due pomp. Opora and
Theoria come on the stage in the wake of Peace, clothed and decked out as
courtesans.

[309] Aristophanes has already shown us the husbandmen and workers in
peaceful trades pulling at the rope to extricate Peace, while the
armourers hindered them by pulling the other way.

[310] An allusion to Lamachus' shield.

[311] Having been commissioned to execute a statue of Athene, Phidias was
accused of having stolen part of the gold given him out of the public
treasury for its decoration. Rewarded for his work by calumny and
banishment, he resolved to make a finer statue than his Athene, and
executed one for the temple of Elis, that of the Olympian Zeus, which was
considered one of the wonders of the world.

[312] He had issued a decree, which forbade the admission of any Megarian
on Attic soil, and also all trade with that people. The Megarians, who
obtained all their provisions from Athens, were thus almost reduced to
starvation.

[313] That is, the vineyards were ravaged from the very outset of the
war, and this increased the animosity.

[314] Driven in from the country parts by the Lacedaemonian invaders.

[315] The demagogues, who distributed the slender dole given to the poor,
and by that means exercised undue power over them.

[316] Meaning, the side of the Spartans.

[317] Cleon.

[318] It was Hermes who conducted the souls of the dead down to the lower
regions.

[319] The Spartans had thrice offered to make peace after the Pylos
disaster.

[320] i. e. dominated by Cleon.

[321] There is a pun here, that cannot be rendered, between [Greek:
apobolimaios], which means, _one who throws away his weapons_, and
[Greek: upobolimaios], which signifies, _a supposititious child_.

[322] Simonides was very avaricious, and sold his pen to the highest
bidder. It seems that Sophocles had also started writing for gain.

[323] i. e. he would recoil from no risk to turn an honest penny.

[324] A comic poet as well known for his love of wine as for his
writings; he died in 431 B. C. , the first year of the war, at the age of
ninety-seven.

[325] Opora was the goddess of fruits.

[326] The Scholiast says fruit may be eaten with impunity in great
quantities if care is taken to drink a decoction of this herb afterwards.

[327] Theoria is confided to the care of the Senate, because it was this
body who named the [Greek: The_orhoi], deputies appointed to go and
consult the oracles beyond the Attic borders or to be present at feasts
and games.

[328] The great festivals, e. g. the Dionysia, lasted three days. Those in
honour of the return of Peace, which was so much desired, could not last
a shorter time.

[329] In spite of what he says, Aristophanes has not always disdained
this sort of low comedy--for instance, his Heracles in 'The Birds. '

[330] A celebrated Athenian courtesan of Aristophanes' day.

[331] Cleon. These four verses are here repeated from the parabasis of
'The Wasps,' produced 423 B. C. , the year before this play.

[332] Shafts aimed at certain poets, who used their renown as a means of
seducing young men to grant them pederastic favours.

[333] The poet supplied everything needful for the production of his
piece--vases, dresses, masks, etc.

[334] Aristophanes was bald himself, it would seem.

[335] Carcinus and his three sons were both poets and dancers. (_See_ the
closing scene of 'The Wasps. ') Perhaps relying little on the literary
value of their work, it seems that they sought to please the people by
the magnificence of its staging.

[336] He had written a piece called 'The Mice,' which he succeeded with
great difficulty in getting played, but it met with no success.

[337] This passage really follows on the invocation, "_Oh, Muse! drive
the War_," etc. , from which indeed it is only divided by the interpolated
criticism aimed at Carcinus.

[338] The Scholiast informs us that these verses are borrowed from a poet
of the sixth century B. C.

[339] Sons of Philocles, of the family of Aeschylus, tragic writers,
derided by Aristophanes as bad poets and notorious gluttons.

[340] The Gorgons were represented with great teeth, and therefore the
same name was given to gluttons. The Harpies, to whom the two voracious
poets are also compared, were monsters with the face of a woman, the body
of a vulture and hooked beak and claws.

[341] A tragic and dithyrambic poet, who had written many pieces, which
had met with great success at Athens.

[342] The shooting stars.

[343] That is, men's tools;--we can set her to 'fellate. '

[344] It has already been mentioned that the sons of Carcinus were
dancers.

[345] It was customary at weddings, says Menander, to give the bride a
sesame-cake as an emblem of fruitfulness, because sesame is the most
fruitful of all seeds.

[346] An Attic town on the east coast, noted for a magnificent temple, in
which stood the statue of Artemis, which Orestes and Iphigenia had
brought from the Tauric Chersonese and also for the Brauronia, festivals
that were celebrated every four years in honour of the goddess. This was
one of the festivals which the Attic people kept with the greatest pomp,
and was an occasion for debauchery.

[347] Competitors intending to take part in the great Olympic, Isthmian
and other games took with them a tent, wherein to camp in the open.
Further, there is an obscene allusion which the actor indicates by
gesture, pointing to the girl's privates, signifying there is the lodging
where he would fain find a delightful abode. The 'Isthmus' is the
perineum, the narrow space betwixt _anus_ and _cunnus_.

[348] He was a 'cunnilingue,' as we gather also from what Aristophanes
says of his infamous habits in the 'Knights. '

[349] Doubtless the vessels and other sacrificial objects and implements
with which Theoria was laden in her character of presiding deity at
religious ceremonies.

[350] The whole passage is full of obscene _double entendres_. Theoria
throughout is spoken of in words applicable to either of her twofold
character--as a sacred, religious feast, and as a lady of pleasure.

[351] Where the meats were cooked after sacrifice; Trygaeus points to
Theoria's privates, marking the secondary obscene sense he means to
convey.

[352] "Or otherwise"--that is, with the standing penis. The whole
sentence contains a series of allusions to different 'modes of love. '

[353] One of the offices of the Prytanes was to introduce those who asked
admission to the Senate, but it would seem that none could obtain this
favour without payment. Without this, a thousand excuses would be made;
for instance, it would be a public holiday, and consequently the Senate
could receive no one. As there was some festival nearly every day, he
whose purse would not open might have to wait a very long while.

[354] This was only offered to lesser deities.

[355] In the Greek we have a play upon the similarity of the words,
[Greek: bous], a bull, and [Greek: boan], to shout the battle cry.

[356] Theagenes, of the Piraeus, a hideous, coarse, debauched and
evil-living character of the day.

[357] That is the vocative of [Greek: o? s], [Greek: o? os], the Ionic form
of the word; in Attic Greek it is contracted throughout--[Greek: ois],
[Greek: oios], etc.

[358] An obscene jest. The Greek word, says the Scholiast, means both
barley and the male organ.

[359] Before sacrificing, the officiating person asked, "_Who is here? _"
and those present answered, "_Many good men. _"

[360] The actors forming the chorus are meant here.

[361] Lysimacha is derived from [Greek: luein], to put an end to, and
[Greek: mach_e], fight.

[362] A tragic poet, reputed a great gourmand.

[363] A tragedy by Melanthius.

[364] Eels were cooked with beet. --A parody on some verses in the 'Medea'
of Melanthius.

[365] As a matter of fact, the Sicyonians, who celebrated the festival of
Peace on the sixteenth day of the month of hecatombeon (July), spilled no
blood upon her altar.

[366] A celebrated diviner, who had accompanied the Athenians on their
expedition to Sicily. Thus the War was necessary to make his calling pay
and the smoke of the sacrifice offered to Peace must therefore be
unpleasant to him.

[367] A town in Euboea on the channel which separated that island from
Thessaly.

[368] When sacrificing, the tail was cut off the victim and thrown into
the fire. From the way in which it burnt the inference was drawn as to
whether or not the sacrifice was agreeable to the deity.

[369] This was the part that belonged to the priests and diviners. As one
of the latter class, Hierocles is in haste to see this piece cut off.

[370] The Spartans.

[371] Emphatic pathos, incomprehensible even to the diviner himself; this
is a satire on the obscure style of the oracles. Bacis was a famous
Boeotian diviner.

[372] Of course this is not a _bona fide_ quotation, but a whimsical
adaptation of various Homeric verses; the last is a coinage of his own,
and means, that he is to have no part, either in the flesh of the victim
or in the wine of the libations.