We were both re-educated, taught to
denounce
everybody and not to trust anybody, that it is your duty to denounce.
Lifton-Robert-Jay-Thought-Reform-and-the-Psychology-of-Totalism
.
They never use force; every question is solved through conference.
But always, the emphasis would shift back to the individual emotional experience--to the "thought problems" which prevented prisoners from making progress. Dr. Vincent learned to express "spontaneously" all of his reactions and attitudes during the dis- cussions and especially to bring out his "wrong thoughts. " And as he did so, he became ever more enmeshed in the special problem-solv- ing techniques of this ideological world.
You have to get rid of and denounce all your imperialist thoughts, and you must criticize all of your own thoughts, guided by the official. If not, they will have someone else solve your problem and criticize you more profoundly. . . . You have a problem--you have to de- nounce it--a schoolmate has to help you--his help has to have "proper standpoint" . , . . I am quiet--they say, "You have a problem"; I say, "I wonder why the Chinese didn't confiscate all of the capitalist proper- ties like the Soviets. I think it might be better to do it like the Russians --this is my problem. " They have schoolmates to solve my problem, to demonstrate I am on the wrong side because the Chinese Communists have to proceed in another way. Their way is reform rather than com- pulsion. He demonstrates that the Soviet revolution was different from the Chinese revolution--that the Chinese capitalist suffered through the imperialists because we imperialists never gave them the opportu- nity to develop their industries. Now the Chinese capitalists have to be useful to the Chinese government and undergo reform. If they follow
? RE-EDUCA TION: DR. VINCENT 2Q
the government they will have a bright future. . . , They have to ex- plain the facts until I am convinced. If I am not convinced I must say I don't understand, and they bring new facts. If I am still not satisfied, I have the right to call an inspector--but I wouldn't, I would just ac- cept, otherwise there might be a struggle. . . . You are all day under the compulsion of denouncing your thoughts and solving your prob- lems. . . . You understand the truth of the people--day by day, mo- ment by moment--and you cannot escape, because from your external manifestation they say they can understand your internal situation. If you continually denounce your thoughts, you can be happy denouncing yourself. You are not resisting. But they keep a record, and after one week if you are not saying anything, they tell you you are resisting your re-education. . . . If you think out five or six problems it is a good manifestation; you are progressing because you like to discuss your imperialist thoughts. This is necessary, because if you don't get rid of these thoughts, you can't put in new ones.
When Vincent was too quiet and did not produce enough "wrong thoughts," he was criticized for not being "sincere"--for not tak- ing an active enough part in thought reform. When his views showed the slightest deviation from Communist orthodoxy, he was told that he was "too subjective," "individualistic/' or that he re- tained "imperialist attitudes. " When it was felt that he was not wholeheartedly involved in his reform--but was merely going through the motions--he was accused of "spreading a smoke- screen," "window dressing," "finding a loophole," or "failing to com- bine theory with practice. " And after a while he followed the others' lead in seeking out these faults in himself through self-criticism, and analyzing their cause and their significance.
A portion of the study hours each day were devoted to "daily- life criticisms": general conduct, attitudes toward others, willing- ness to do one's share of work in the cell, eating and sleeping habits. Where Vincent was found wanting in any of these, this was at- tributed to "imperialist" or "bourgeois" greed and exploitation, in contrast to the "people's attitude" of sharing and co-operation. When considered lax in his work, he was criticized for lacking the "correct labor point of view"; when he dropped a plate, this was wasting the people's money; if he drank too much water, this was "draining the blood of the people"; if he took up too much room while sleeping, this was "imperialistic expansion. "
Vincent would still heai talk of men who were shot because
? 30 THOUGHT REFORM
"they resisted"; and on the other hand he heard of the "bright fu- ture"--early release or happy existence in China--for those who "accepted their re-education. "
Advanced Standing
After more than a year of this continuous "re-education," Vin- cent was again subjected to a series of interrogations aimed at once more reconstructing his confession--"because after one year the government hopes you understand a little better your crimes/' Now from among the great mass of material which he had already pro- duced, the judge focused upon a few selected points, all of which had some relationship to actual events. And thus, "from a wild confession, you go to a more concrete confession. " Then, eight "crimes" emerged--including membership in a right-wing French political organization, several forms of "espionage" and "intelli- gence" in association with American, Catholic, and other "reac- tionary" groups, other anti-Communist activities, and "slanderous insults to the Chinese people. " But now Vincent was more deeply immersed in the "people's standpoint," and the confession had a much greater sense of reality for him than before.
You have the feeling that you look to yourself on the people's side, and that you are a criminal. Not all of the time--but moments--you think they are right. "I did this, I am a criminal. " If you doubt, you keep it to yourself. Because if you admit the doubt you will be "struggled" and lose the progress you have made. . . . In this way they built up a spy mentality. . . . They built up a criminal. . . . Then your inven- tion becomes a reality. . . . You feel guilty, because all of the time you have to look at yourself from the people's standpoint, and the more deeply you go into the people's standpoint, the more you recognize your crimes.
And at this point he began, in the "correct" manner, to relate his own sense of guilt to the Communist world view;
They taught us what it means to be a capitalist . . . . to enslave and exploit the people so that a small group of persons can enjoy life at the expense of the masses, their capital coming from the blood of the peo- ple, not from labor . . . . that all property comes from the blood of the peasant . . . . that we helped this bad policy, that our mind is the capitalistic mind . . . . and in our profession we exploited everyone. We used our profession to exploit people, as we can see from our crimes.
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 31
Then came another fourteen months of full-time re-education. Vincent continued to concentrate upon applying Communist theory to his personal situation, demonstrating an ever-expanding "recogni- tion" of his "crimes/'
After two years, in order to show that you are more on the people's side, you increase your crimes. . . . I said I wasn't frank before, there were really more intelligences. . . . This is a good point. It means that you are analyzing your crimes. . . . It means that you realize your crimes are very big, and that you are not afraid to denounce yourself . . . . that you trust the people, trust your re-education, and that you like to be reformed.
By this time his activities were no longer limited to his own case; he had by now become active--and skillful--in criticizing others, "helping" them to make progress in confession and reform. He had become an experienced prisoner, and was beginning to be looked upon as a true progressive. He even came to believe a great deal of what he was expressing--although not in a simple manner:
You begin to believe all this, but it is a special kind of belief. You are not absolutely convinced, but you accept it--in order to avoid trouble --because every time you don't agree, trouble starts again.
During his third year of imprisonment, he was once more called in for a revision of his confession. The document became even more brief, concrete, "logical," and convincing. Now Vincent began to think of his sentence, estimating it from the "people's standpoint" which had become so much a part of him.
You have the feeling that your sentence is coming and that you will be sent somewhere else . . . . and you are waiting. . . . Y ou think, "How long--maybe twenty, twenty-five years" . . . . Y ou will be sent to reform through labor . . . to a factory or to a field. . . . They are very generous about this. . . . The government is very generous. The people are very generous. , . . Now you know that you cannot be shot. . . . But you are thinking that your crimes are very heavy.
Now Vincent was told that his "attitude" had greatly improved. He was transferred to a different wing of the prison--and given treasured privileges, such as an hour of outdoor exercise a day and additional recreation periods in the cell. He found himself living in harmony with his captors, and during the last few months of
? 32 THOUGHT REFORM
his imprisonment was even permitted to give French lessons to other prisoners and to conduct medical classes for students brought to the prison for this purpose. All of this was not without its ef- fect:
They used this as a premium in order to show me that they weren't against my work or my profession, but were only against my reactionary mind. To show that my work was well accepted, that they accepted my theories. . . . To show what it means to live among the people, if I become one of the people. . . . To put in my mind that life among the people is good.
Soon he was called in for a formal signing of his confession--both a French version in his own handwriting, and a Chinese translation. Photographers and moving-picture cameramen were on hand, and he also read it for sound recording. With many others like it, it was widely disseminated throughout China and other parts of the world. A short time later he was called before the judge, and after three years of "solving" his case, he was read both the charges and the sentence: for "espionage" and other "crimes" against the people, three years of imprisonment--this considered to be already served. He was expelled immediately from China, and within two days, he was on a British ship heading for Hong Kong.
Freedom
From his story, Dr, Vincent might appear to be a highly success- ful product of thought reform. But when I saw him in Hong Kong, the issue was much more in doubt. He was a man in limbo, caught between the two worlds.
In his confusion and fear he felt that he was being constantly observed and manipulated. Much of this paranoid content was an internal extension of his prison environment:
I have a certain idea that someone is spying on me--an imperialist spying on me because I came from the Communist world--interested to look and seewhat 1 think. . . . When I am doing something I feel someone is looking at me--because from external manifestation he is anxious to look at what is going on inside of me. We were trained this way in our re-education.
And thinking out loud about me, he said:
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 33
I have a feeling he is not just a doctor. He is connected with some imperialist organization which will bring me danger. . . . I think maybe someone else is telling you the questions to ask me. . . . But I give you everything, and if tomorrow something happens, I could say, "This is the truth. I have endeavored to tell the truth. "
He expressed distrust toward the friend who had arranged for him to see me:
I opened myself with him and told him my ideas. But then I thought, perhaps he will use this against me.
We were both re-educated, taught to denounce everybody and not to trust anybody, that it is your duty to denounce.
He later explained the reason for his request that I pick him up at his boarding house:
When you telephoned me . . . I thought maybe he is a Communist. . . . Perhaps an enemy. . . . I refused to come here alone, because I didn't have a witness. . . . This way you come, you are seen, and if I disappear there is a witness.
In this borderline psychotic state, Vincent graphically described his split identity:
When I left China I had this strange feeling: Now I am going to the imperialistic world. No one will take care of me. I'll be unemployed and lost. . . . Everyone will look at me as a criminal. . . . Still, I thought, there is a Communist Party in my country. I am coming out of a Communist world; they must know I have had reform training. Perhaps they will be interested in keeping me. Maybe they can help me, and I will not be really lost. I will go to the Communists, tell them where I came from, and I'll have a future. . . .
But when I came to Hong Kong, the situation changed completely. The Consulate sent a man right away on board with a special motor- boat. They took care of me and asked me if I am in need. They told me they wired my government and my family. They brought me to a boarding house, nice room, nice food--and gave me money to spend. The capitalist world is more friendly than I thought it would be.
In his struggle to achieve some sense of reality, his perceptions of his new environment were faulty. He wavered between beliefs, always influenced by his fears:
? 34 THOUGHT REFORM
I had dinner last night at the home of Mr. Su [a wealthy, retired Hong Kong Chinese merchant]. I had the feeling that Mr. Su was a pro- Communist. I had this manifestation. Everytime he spoke, I wanted to say, "Yes. " I thought he was a judge--I was sympathizing with Mr. Su because he had a court. He asked me my crimes. I told him all of them in order. He said, "Do you feel guilty about this? " I said, "Yes. I feel guilty about this. " I had the impression he was a judge in contact with the Communists and can report everything. . . .
But this morning I wrote a letter to my wife, and I went into detail about my crimes. In this letter I denied completely my crimes. I know my wife--I know her well--she can't do anything to me, so I wrote, "How cruel they were to make a criminal out of someone like me"-- and yet last night I admitted guilt. Why? Because there was a judge there. . . .
Today at lunch with the Jesuit Fathers, I know them well--I denied everything because they are my friends. When I feel safe I am on one side. When I have the feeling I am not safe, right away I jump on the other side.
In his constant testing of his new environment, he began to call into question many of the teachings of his thought reform:
When I arrived in Hong Kong, another foreigner coming out of China put me in this difficult position. He told me about the situation in North China--that it was impossible to get meat there, and that there is rationing because everything is going to the Soviet Union. I said--"Impossible! A foreigner likes to exaggerate"--because we never heard about this rationing in jail. I said, "How can it be possible that the Soviet Union needs food from China when they are making such progress? " . . . . In prison we saw their food lists--butter, meat, what- ever they like--but now 1 hear that food is not enough in the Soviet Union. I ask myself, "Where is the truth? "
He found that what he was experiencing more and more came into conflict with his reform, and he felt that this reality-testingwas beneficial to him:
They say there is no progress in my country. But I was surprised to see a new steamer from there here in the harbor. I hear that it is an air- conditioned steamer, built since the war. I thought then that my coun- try is not a colony of America--they can have a steamer line come to Hong Kong. I started little by little to come to reality--bit by bit to make comparison of what they told me. The reality is quite good for me. I am thinking that if a school partner [cellmate] could have the possibility of seeing what I have seen in eight days--what could he be- lieve of his re-education? . . . .
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 35
And similarly when he read in an American magazine about im- mense new railroad machinery developed in the United States, he questioned the precepts that "the imperialists are interested in only light industry--to exploit the people" and that "Soviet heavy in- dustry is leading everybody. " He commented:
When I saw these, I thought that the Communists were cheating m e - dicating everybody.
Midway through the series of interviews, he began to feel rest- less, neglected, and increasingly hostile to his new surroundings. He reversed the previous trend, and again became suspicious of ul- terior motives in his new environment:
Everyday I read the Hong Kong paper I see children are receiving milk and eggs through the help of America. . . , But in prison they are all the time saying that the American imperialists are giving things to peo- ple in order to cover up--to show that they take an interest I see this as a political point--a feeling I have which is strictly connected with re-education.
He became markedly critical of what he saw around him, and more favorable in his references to his prison experience--looking back upon it almost longingly.
Since coming out, arguments and conversation are terribly uninterest- ing. There are no concrete things. Time is very superficial--people don't solve any problems. They are just going on--spending four hours for nothing--between one drink and another smoke and wait for to- morrow. In re-education we solved every problem . . . . we were given texts to use and had to read them--then new discussions until the mo- ment when there were no more problems. . . . I went to a film last night. I was disturbed by it. Disturbed because it wasn't an educational film--it was just a lot of shooting and violence. I was thinking how much more comforting to have an education film as in the prison-- never a film like this there. So brutal--so much fighting and killing. . * .
When we came out of the movie, a Chinese child touched the hand- book of a Western lady who was with us. She was very disturbed and kicked the child. I thought, "Why violence, why not just explain to the child that he shouldn't do it? " This has a connection with re-education --because all of the time they told us that relations in society should be on a logical basis, not on a forced basis.
He expressed the loneliness of his new freedom:
? 36 THOUGHT REFORM
There is this kind of freedom here--if you want to do something, you can do it. But there is not the collective way of progress--just an in- dividual way of going on. Nobody pays any attention to you and your surroundings.
Referring back to his prison experience, he said: It is not that I miss it, but I find that it was more easy.
At this time he also began to feel that I was "exploiting" him for my own professional gain; he "confessed" these feelings to me:
I had a very bad thought about you. I thought that Americans are all the same--when they have need of you they use you, and after that you are a forgotten man.
But during the last two interviews, he became more cheerful and optimistic, more concerned about arrangements for his future. He was now more definite in his conviction that the Communists had wronged him cruelly throughout his imprisonment.
His views on Communist methods became more sharply critical, and more interpretive.
My impression is that they are cruel and that there is no freedom. There is compulsion in everything, using Marxism and Leninism in order to promise to the ignorant a bright future. . . . I was really ac- cepting things in order to make myself more comfortable--because I was in great fear. . . . In this situation your willpower completely dis- appears. . . . Y ou accept because there is a compulsion all the time-- that if you don't go on their road, there is no escape. . . . To avoid argument you become passive. * . .
He described his post-imprisonment change of heart toward his former captors--from toleration to condemnation:
My first few days out I recognized that they were cruel with us--but not in a strong way. There was a religious belief playing on me: if some- one does bad to you, don't keep your hate; and another feeling--what I pass through there would be useful for me in the next life. I looked upon it as bad versus good, and I felt I suffered for something. . . . Now my resentment is stronger than it was the first few days. I have the feeling that if I meet a Communist in my country, my first reaction toward him will be violent.
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 37
Before leaving for Europe, he began to seek contacts and letters of introduction which he felt could help him in the future. He again wished to do medical work in an underdeveloped Asian setting, but he noted a significant change in the type of position which he sought:
Before I would never accept a nine-to-five job, because it means that you are busy all the time with no time to do what you want. Now--it is very strange--I would like to have such an engagement. I have the feel- ing that with this kind of job, everything is easy. I don't have to think of what happens at the end of the month. It would give me security, a definite feeling for the future because I have nothing definite in the future.
But Dr. Vincent knew himself well enough to recognize that this quest for regularity and security would not last.
This is not one hundred per cent of my feeling. . , . You see the con- tradiction--I am just out from the door of the cell--only one step out. But if I take some more steps--and consider what is best for my char- acter--perhaps I will again decide to be by myself. . . . In a Com- munist country everybody does the same thing--and you accept. Here it is different: you are still the master of yourself.
He felt that the most significant change which he had undergone as a result of his reform was his increased willingness to "open my- self to others. " And in regard to our talks together, he said:
This is the first time a foreigner knows my character. I believe this comes through re-education--because we were instructed to know our internal selves. . . . I have never talked so frankly. I have a feeling I left part of myself in Hong Kong.
More will be said about Dr. Vincent later on, including his back- ground and character; but first I will return to the prison thought reform process, and to the different inner experience of a man of another calling.
? CHAPTER 4 FATHER LUCA:
THE FALSE CONFESSION
I met Father Francis Luca in a Catholic hospital in
Hong Kong, where he was convalescing from the physical and emotional blows of three-and-one-half years of im- prisonment. He had spent ten years in China, and had just arrived in the colony a few days before; my visit had been arranged by an- other priest whom we both knew. Father Luca's appearance was rather striking. An Italian in his late thirties, his eyes looked alert and searching, with little of the fear and distance I had seen in Dr. Vincent's eyes. But he had a restless, almost driven, quality which made it difficult for him, despite a partial physical incapacity caused by his imprisonment, to remain seated in his chair.
But always, the emphasis would shift back to the individual emotional experience--to the "thought problems" which prevented prisoners from making progress. Dr. Vincent learned to express "spontaneously" all of his reactions and attitudes during the dis- cussions and especially to bring out his "wrong thoughts. " And as he did so, he became ever more enmeshed in the special problem-solv- ing techniques of this ideological world.
You have to get rid of and denounce all your imperialist thoughts, and you must criticize all of your own thoughts, guided by the official. If not, they will have someone else solve your problem and criticize you more profoundly. . . . You have a problem--you have to de- nounce it--a schoolmate has to help you--his help has to have "proper standpoint" . , . . I am quiet--they say, "You have a problem"; I say, "I wonder why the Chinese didn't confiscate all of the capitalist proper- ties like the Soviets. I think it might be better to do it like the Russians --this is my problem. " They have schoolmates to solve my problem, to demonstrate I am on the wrong side because the Chinese Communists have to proceed in another way. Their way is reform rather than com- pulsion. He demonstrates that the Soviet revolution was different from the Chinese revolution--that the Chinese capitalist suffered through the imperialists because we imperialists never gave them the opportu- nity to develop their industries. Now the Chinese capitalists have to be useful to the Chinese government and undergo reform. If they follow
? RE-EDUCA TION: DR. VINCENT 2Q
the government they will have a bright future. . . , They have to ex- plain the facts until I am convinced. If I am not convinced I must say I don't understand, and they bring new facts. If I am still not satisfied, I have the right to call an inspector--but I wouldn't, I would just ac- cept, otherwise there might be a struggle. . . . You are all day under the compulsion of denouncing your thoughts and solving your prob- lems. . . . You understand the truth of the people--day by day, mo- ment by moment--and you cannot escape, because from your external manifestation they say they can understand your internal situation. If you continually denounce your thoughts, you can be happy denouncing yourself. You are not resisting. But they keep a record, and after one week if you are not saying anything, they tell you you are resisting your re-education. . . . If you think out five or six problems it is a good manifestation; you are progressing because you like to discuss your imperialist thoughts. This is necessary, because if you don't get rid of these thoughts, you can't put in new ones.
When Vincent was too quiet and did not produce enough "wrong thoughts," he was criticized for not being "sincere"--for not tak- ing an active enough part in thought reform. When his views showed the slightest deviation from Communist orthodoxy, he was told that he was "too subjective," "individualistic/' or that he re- tained "imperialist attitudes. " When it was felt that he was not wholeheartedly involved in his reform--but was merely going through the motions--he was accused of "spreading a smoke- screen," "window dressing," "finding a loophole," or "failing to com- bine theory with practice. " And after a while he followed the others' lead in seeking out these faults in himself through self-criticism, and analyzing their cause and their significance.
A portion of the study hours each day were devoted to "daily- life criticisms": general conduct, attitudes toward others, willing- ness to do one's share of work in the cell, eating and sleeping habits. Where Vincent was found wanting in any of these, this was at- tributed to "imperialist" or "bourgeois" greed and exploitation, in contrast to the "people's attitude" of sharing and co-operation. When considered lax in his work, he was criticized for lacking the "correct labor point of view"; when he dropped a plate, this was wasting the people's money; if he drank too much water, this was "draining the blood of the people"; if he took up too much room while sleeping, this was "imperialistic expansion. "
Vincent would still heai talk of men who were shot because
? 30 THOUGHT REFORM
"they resisted"; and on the other hand he heard of the "bright fu- ture"--early release or happy existence in China--for those who "accepted their re-education. "
Advanced Standing
After more than a year of this continuous "re-education," Vin- cent was again subjected to a series of interrogations aimed at once more reconstructing his confession--"because after one year the government hopes you understand a little better your crimes/' Now from among the great mass of material which he had already pro- duced, the judge focused upon a few selected points, all of which had some relationship to actual events. And thus, "from a wild confession, you go to a more concrete confession. " Then, eight "crimes" emerged--including membership in a right-wing French political organization, several forms of "espionage" and "intelli- gence" in association with American, Catholic, and other "reac- tionary" groups, other anti-Communist activities, and "slanderous insults to the Chinese people. " But now Vincent was more deeply immersed in the "people's standpoint," and the confession had a much greater sense of reality for him than before.
You have the feeling that you look to yourself on the people's side, and that you are a criminal. Not all of the time--but moments--you think they are right. "I did this, I am a criminal. " If you doubt, you keep it to yourself. Because if you admit the doubt you will be "struggled" and lose the progress you have made. . . . In this way they built up a spy mentality. . . . They built up a criminal. . . . Then your inven- tion becomes a reality. . . . You feel guilty, because all of the time you have to look at yourself from the people's standpoint, and the more deeply you go into the people's standpoint, the more you recognize your crimes.
And at this point he began, in the "correct" manner, to relate his own sense of guilt to the Communist world view;
They taught us what it means to be a capitalist . . . . to enslave and exploit the people so that a small group of persons can enjoy life at the expense of the masses, their capital coming from the blood of the peo- ple, not from labor . . . . that all property comes from the blood of the peasant . . . . that we helped this bad policy, that our mind is the capitalistic mind . . . . and in our profession we exploited everyone. We used our profession to exploit people, as we can see from our crimes.
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 31
Then came another fourteen months of full-time re-education. Vincent continued to concentrate upon applying Communist theory to his personal situation, demonstrating an ever-expanding "recogni- tion" of his "crimes/'
After two years, in order to show that you are more on the people's side, you increase your crimes. . . . I said I wasn't frank before, there were really more intelligences. . . . This is a good point. It means that you are analyzing your crimes. . . . It means that you realize your crimes are very big, and that you are not afraid to denounce yourself . . . . that you trust the people, trust your re-education, and that you like to be reformed.
By this time his activities were no longer limited to his own case; he had by now become active--and skillful--in criticizing others, "helping" them to make progress in confession and reform. He had become an experienced prisoner, and was beginning to be looked upon as a true progressive. He even came to believe a great deal of what he was expressing--although not in a simple manner:
You begin to believe all this, but it is a special kind of belief. You are not absolutely convinced, but you accept it--in order to avoid trouble --because every time you don't agree, trouble starts again.
During his third year of imprisonment, he was once more called in for a revision of his confession. The document became even more brief, concrete, "logical," and convincing. Now Vincent began to think of his sentence, estimating it from the "people's standpoint" which had become so much a part of him.
You have the feeling that your sentence is coming and that you will be sent somewhere else . . . . and you are waiting. . . . Y ou think, "How long--maybe twenty, twenty-five years" . . . . Y ou will be sent to reform through labor . . . to a factory or to a field. . . . They are very generous about this. . . . The government is very generous. The people are very generous. , . . Now you know that you cannot be shot. . . . But you are thinking that your crimes are very heavy.
Now Vincent was told that his "attitude" had greatly improved. He was transferred to a different wing of the prison--and given treasured privileges, such as an hour of outdoor exercise a day and additional recreation periods in the cell. He found himself living in harmony with his captors, and during the last few months of
? 32 THOUGHT REFORM
his imprisonment was even permitted to give French lessons to other prisoners and to conduct medical classes for students brought to the prison for this purpose. All of this was not without its ef- fect:
They used this as a premium in order to show me that they weren't against my work or my profession, but were only against my reactionary mind. To show that my work was well accepted, that they accepted my theories. . . . To show what it means to live among the people, if I become one of the people. . . . To put in my mind that life among the people is good.
Soon he was called in for a formal signing of his confession--both a French version in his own handwriting, and a Chinese translation. Photographers and moving-picture cameramen were on hand, and he also read it for sound recording. With many others like it, it was widely disseminated throughout China and other parts of the world. A short time later he was called before the judge, and after three years of "solving" his case, he was read both the charges and the sentence: for "espionage" and other "crimes" against the people, three years of imprisonment--this considered to be already served. He was expelled immediately from China, and within two days, he was on a British ship heading for Hong Kong.
Freedom
From his story, Dr, Vincent might appear to be a highly success- ful product of thought reform. But when I saw him in Hong Kong, the issue was much more in doubt. He was a man in limbo, caught between the two worlds.
In his confusion and fear he felt that he was being constantly observed and manipulated. Much of this paranoid content was an internal extension of his prison environment:
I have a certain idea that someone is spying on me--an imperialist spying on me because I came from the Communist world--interested to look and seewhat 1 think. . . . When I am doing something I feel someone is looking at me--because from external manifestation he is anxious to look at what is going on inside of me. We were trained this way in our re-education.
And thinking out loud about me, he said:
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 33
I have a feeling he is not just a doctor. He is connected with some imperialist organization which will bring me danger. . . . I think maybe someone else is telling you the questions to ask me. . . . But I give you everything, and if tomorrow something happens, I could say, "This is the truth. I have endeavored to tell the truth. "
He expressed distrust toward the friend who had arranged for him to see me:
I opened myself with him and told him my ideas. But then I thought, perhaps he will use this against me.
We were both re-educated, taught to denounce everybody and not to trust anybody, that it is your duty to denounce.
He later explained the reason for his request that I pick him up at his boarding house:
When you telephoned me . . . I thought maybe he is a Communist. . . . Perhaps an enemy. . . . I refused to come here alone, because I didn't have a witness. . . . This way you come, you are seen, and if I disappear there is a witness.
In this borderline psychotic state, Vincent graphically described his split identity:
When I left China I had this strange feeling: Now I am going to the imperialistic world. No one will take care of me. I'll be unemployed and lost. . . . Everyone will look at me as a criminal. . . . Still, I thought, there is a Communist Party in my country. I am coming out of a Communist world; they must know I have had reform training. Perhaps they will be interested in keeping me. Maybe they can help me, and I will not be really lost. I will go to the Communists, tell them where I came from, and I'll have a future. . . .
But when I came to Hong Kong, the situation changed completely. The Consulate sent a man right away on board with a special motor- boat. They took care of me and asked me if I am in need. They told me they wired my government and my family. They brought me to a boarding house, nice room, nice food--and gave me money to spend. The capitalist world is more friendly than I thought it would be.
In his struggle to achieve some sense of reality, his perceptions of his new environment were faulty. He wavered between beliefs, always influenced by his fears:
? 34 THOUGHT REFORM
I had dinner last night at the home of Mr. Su [a wealthy, retired Hong Kong Chinese merchant]. I had the feeling that Mr. Su was a pro- Communist. I had this manifestation. Everytime he spoke, I wanted to say, "Yes. " I thought he was a judge--I was sympathizing with Mr. Su because he had a court. He asked me my crimes. I told him all of them in order. He said, "Do you feel guilty about this? " I said, "Yes. I feel guilty about this. " I had the impression he was a judge in contact with the Communists and can report everything. . . .
But this morning I wrote a letter to my wife, and I went into detail about my crimes. In this letter I denied completely my crimes. I know my wife--I know her well--she can't do anything to me, so I wrote, "How cruel they were to make a criminal out of someone like me"-- and yet last night I admitted guilt. Why? Because there was a judge there. . . .
Today at lunch with the Jesuit Fathers, I know them well--I denied everything because they are my friends. When I feel safe I am on one side. When I have the feeling I am not safe, right away I jump on the other side.
In his constant testing of his new environment, he began to call into question many of the teachings of his thought reform:
When I arrived in Hong Kong, another foreigner coming out of China put me in this difficult position. He told me about the situation in North China--that it was impossible to get meat there, and that there is rationing because everything is going to the Soviet Union. I said--"Impossible! A foreigner likes to exaggerate"--because we never heard about this rationing in jail. I said, "How can it be possible that the Soviet Union needs food from China when they are making such progress? " . . . . In prison we saw their food lists--butter, meat, what- ever they like--but now 1 hear that food is not enough in the Soviet Union. I ask myself, "Where is the truth? "
He found that what he was experiencing more and more came into conflict with his reform, and he felt that this reality-testingwas beneficial to him:
They say there is no progress in my country. But I was surprised to see a new steamer from there here in the harbor. I hear that it is an air- conditioned steamer, built since the war. I thought then that my coun- try is not a colony of America--they can have a steamer line come to Hong Kong. I started little by little to come to reality--bit by bit to make comparison of what they told me. The reality is quite good for me. I am thinking that if a school partner [cellmate] could have the possibility of seeing what I have seen in eight days--what could he be- lieve of his re-education? . . . .
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 35
And similarly when he read in an American magazine about im- mense new railroad machinery developed in the United States, he questioned the precepts that "the imperialists are interested in only light industry--to exploit the people" and that "Soviet heavy in- dustry is leading everybody. " He commented:
When I saw these, I thought that the Communists were cheating m e - dicating everybody.
Midway through the series of interviews, he began to feel rest- less, neglected, and increasingly hostile to his new surroundings. He reversed the previous trend, and again became suspicious of ul- terior motives in his new environment:
Everyday I read the Hong Kong paper I see children are receiving milk and eggs through the help of America. . . , But in prison they are all the time saying that the American imperialists are giving things to peo- ple in order to cover up--to show that they take an interest I see this as a political point--a feeling I have which is strictly connected with re-education.
He became markedly critical of what he saw around him, and more favorable in his references to his prison experience--looking back upon it almost longingly.
Since coming out, arguments and conversation are terribly uninterest- ing. There are no concrete things. Time is very superficial--people don't solve any problems. They are just going on--spending four hours for nothing--between one drink and another smoke and wait for to- morrow. In re-education we solved every problem . . . . we were given texts to use and had to read them--then new discussions until the mo- ment when there were no more problems. . . . I went to a film last night. I was disturbed by it. Disturbed because it wasn't an educational film--it was just a lot of shooting and violence. I was thinking how much more comforting to have an education film as in the prison-- never a film like this there. So brutal--so much fighting and killing. . * .
When we came out of the movie, a Chinese child touched the hand- book of a Western lady who was with us. She was very disturbed and kicked the child. I thought, "Why violence, why not just explain to the child that he shouldn't do it? " This has a connection with re-education --because all of the time they told us that relations in society should be on a logical basis, not on a forced basis.
He expressed the loneliness of his new freedom:
? 36 THOUGHT REFORM
There is this kind of freedom here--if you want to do something, you can do it. But there is not the collective way of progress--just an in- dividual way of going on. Nobody pays any attention to you and your surroundings.
Referring back to his prison experience, he said: It is not that I miss it, but I find that it was more easy.
At this time he also began to feel that I was "exploiting" him for my own professional gain; he "confessed" these feelings to me:
I had a very bad thought about you. I thought that Americans are all the same--when they have need of you they use you, and after that you are a forgotten man.
But during the last two interviews, he became more cheerful and optimistic, more concerned about arrangements for his future. He was now more definite in his conviction that the Communists had wronged him cruelly throughout his imprisonment.
His views on Communist methods became more sharply critical, and more interpretive.
My impression is that they are cruel and that there is no freedom. There is compulsion in everything, using Marxism and Leninism in order to promise to the ignorant a bright future. . . . I was really ac- cepting things in order to make myself more comfortable--because I was in great fear. . . . In this situation your willpower completely dis- appears. . . . Y ou accept because there is a compulsion all the time-- that if you don't go on their road, there is no escape. . . . To avoid argument you become passive. * . .
He described his post-imprisonment change of heart toward his former captors--from toleration to condemnation:
My first few days out I recognized that they were cruel with us--but not in a strong way. There was a religious belief playing on me: if some- one does bad to you, don't keep your hate; and another feeling--what I pass through there would be useful for me in the next life. I looked upon it as bad versus good, and I felt I suffered for something. . . . Now my resentment is stronger than it was the first few days. I have the feeling that if I meet a Communist in my country, my first reaction toward him will be violent.
? RE-EDUCATION: DR. VINCENT 37
Before leaving for Europe, he began to seek contacts and letters of introduction which he felt could help him in the future. He again wished to do medical work in an underdeveloped Asian setting, but he noted a significant change in the type of position which he sought:
Before I would never accept a nine-to-five job, because it means that you are busy all the time with no time to do what you want. Now--it is very strange--I would like to have such an engagement. I have the feel- ing that with this kind of job, everything is easy. I don't have to think of what happens at the end of the month. It would give me security, a definite feeling for the future because I have nothing definite in the future.
But Dr. Vincent knew himself well enough to recognize that this quest for regularity and security would not last.
This is not one hundred per cent of my feeling. . , . You see the con- tradiction--I am just out from the door of the cell--only one step out. But if I take some more steps--and consider what is best for my char- acter--perhaps I will again decide to be by myself. . . . In a Com- munist country everybody does the same thing--and you accept. Here it is different: you are still the master of yourself.
He felt that the most significant change which he had undergone as a result of his reform was his increased willingness to "open my- self to others. " And in regard to our talks together, he said:
This is the first time a foreigner knows my character. I believe this comes through re-education--because we were instructed to know our internal selves. . . . I have never talked so frankly. I have a feeling I left part of myself in Hong Kong.
More will be said about Dr. Vincent later on, including his back- ground and character; but first I will return to the prison thought reform process, and to the different inner experience of a man of another calling.
? CHAPTER 4 FATHER LUCA:
THE FALSE CONFESSION
I met Father Francis Luca in a Catholic hospital in
Hong Kong, where he was convalescing from the physical and emotional blows of three-and-one-half years of im- prisonment. He had spent ten years in China, and had just arrived in the colony a few days before; my visit had been arranged by an- other priest whom we both knew. Father Luca's appearance was rather striking. An Italian in his late thirties, his eyes looked alert and searching, with little of the fear and distance I had seen in Dr. Vincent's eyes. But he had a restless, almost driven, quality which made it difficult for him, despite a partial physical incapacity caused by his imprisonment, to remain seated in his chair.
