No More Learning

Philocles is the son of Epops, because he got his inspiration from
Sophocles' Tereus, and at the same time is father to Epops, since he
himself produced another Tereus.

[206] This Hipponicus is probably the orator whose ears Alcibiades boxed
to gain a bet; he was a descendant of Callias, who was famous for his
hatred of Pisistratus.

[207] This Callias, who must not be confounded with the foe of
Pisistratus, had ruined himself.

[208] Cleonymus had cast away his shield; he was as great a glutton as he
was a coward.

[209] A race in which the track had to be circled twice.

[210] A people of Asia Minor; when pursued by the Ionians they took
refuge in the mountains.

[211] An Athenian barber.

[212] The owl was dedicated to Athene, and being respected at Athens, it
had greatly multiplied. Hence the proverb, _taking owls to Athens_,
similar to our English _taking coals to Newcastle_.

[213] An allusion to the Feast of Pots; it was kept at Athens on the
third day of the Anthesteria, when all sorts of vegetables were stewed
together and offered for the dead to Bacchus and Athene. This Feast was
peculiar to Athens. --Hence Pisthetaerus thinks that the owl will
recognize they are Athenians by seeing the stew-pots, and as he is an
Athenian bird, he will not attack them.

[214] Nicias, the famous Athenian general. --The siege of Melos in 417
B. C. , or two years previous to the production of 'The Birds,' had
especially done him great credit. He was joint commander of the Sicilian
expedition.

[215] Procne, the daughter of Pandion, King of Athens.

[216] A space beyond the walls of Athens which contained the gardens of
the Academy and the graves of citizens who had died for their country.

[217] A town in Western Argolis, where the Athenians had been recently
defeated. The somewhat similar word in Greek, [Greek: ornithes],
signifies _birds_.

[218] Epops is addressing the two slaves, no doubt Xanthias and Manes,
who are mentioned later on.

[219] It was customary, when speaking in public and also at feasts, to
wear a chaplet; hence the question Euelpides puts. The guests wore
chaplets of flowers, herbs, and leaves, which had the property of being
refreshing.

[220] A deme of Attica. In Greek the word ([Greek: kephalai]) also means
_heads_, and hence the pun.

[221] One of Darius' best generals. After his expedition against the
Scythians, this prince gave him the command of the army which he left in
Europe. Megabyzus took Perinthos (afterwards called Heraclea) and
conquered Thrace.

[222] All Persians wore the tiara, but always on one side; the Great King
alone wore it straight on his head.

[223] Noted as the birthplace of Thucydides, a deme of Attica of the
tribe of Leontis. Demosthenes tells us it was thirty-five stadia from
Athens.

[224] The appearance of the kite in Greece betokened the return of
springtime; it was therefore worshipped as a symbol of that season.

[225] To look at the kite, who no doubt was flying high in the sky.

[226] As already shown, the Athenians were addicted to carrying small
coins in their mouths. --This obolus was for the purpose of buying flour
to fill the bag he was carrying.

[227] In Phoenicia and Egypt the cuckoo makes its appearance about
harvest-time.

[228] This was an Egyptian proverb, meaning, _When the cuckoo sings we go
harvesting_. Both the Phoenicians and the Egyptians practised
circumcision.

[229] The staff, called a sceptre, generally terminated in a piece of
carved work, representing a flower, a fruit, and most often a bird.

[230] A general accused of treachery. The bird watches Lysicrates,
because, according to Pisthetaerus, he had a right to a share of the
presents.

[231] It is thus that Phidias represents his Olympian Zeus.

[232] One of the diviners sent to Sybaris (in Magna Graecia, S. Italy)
with the Athenian colonists, who rebuilt the town under the new name of
Thurium.

[233] As if he were saying, "Oh, gods! " Like Lampon, he swears by the
birds, instead of swearing by the gods. --The names of these birds are
those of two of the Titans.

[234] Alcmena, wife of Amphitryon, King of Thebes and mother of
Heracles. --Semele, the daughter of Cadmus and Hermione and mother of
Bacchus; both seduced by Zeus. --Alope, daughter of Cercyon, a robber, who
reigned at Eleusis and was conquered by Perseus. Alope was honoured with
Posidon's caresses; by him she had a son named Hippothous, at first
brought up by shepherds but who afterwards was restored to the throne of
his grandfather by Theseus.

[235] Because the bald patch on the coot's head resembles the shaven and
depilated 'motte. '

[236] Because water is the duck's domain, as it is that of Posidon.

[237] Because the gull, like Heracles, is voracious.

[238] The Germans still call it _Zaunkonig_ and the French _roitelet_,
both names thus containing the idea of _king_.

[239] The Scholiast draws our attention to the fact that Homer says this
of Here and not of Iris (Iliad, V. 778); it is only another proof that
the text of Homer has reached us in a corrupted form, or it may be that
Aristophanes was liable, like other people, to occasional mistakes of
quotation.

[240] In sacrifices.

[241] An Athenian proverb.

[242] A celebrated temple to Zeus in an oasis of Libya.

[243] Nicias was commander, along with Demosthenes, and later on
Alcibiades, of the Athenian forces before Syracuse, in the ill-fated
Sicilian Expedition, 415-413 B. C. He was much blamed for dilatoriness and
indecision.

[244] Servants of Pisthetaerus and Euelpides.

[245] It has already been mentioned that, according to the legend
followed by Aristophanes, Procne had been changed into a nightingale and
Philomela into a swallow.

[246] The actor, representing Procne, was dressed out as a courtesan, but
wore the mask of a bird.

[247] Young unmarried girls wore golden ornaments; the apparel of married
women was much simpler.

[248] The actor, representing Procne, was a flute-player.

[249] The parabasis.

[250] A sophist of the island of Ceos, a disciple of Protagoras, as
celebrated for his knowledge as for his eloquence. The Athenians
condemned him to death as a corrupter of youth in 396 B. C.

[251] Lovers were wont to make each other presents of birds. The cock and
the goose are mentioned, of course, in jest.

[252] i. e. that it gave notice of the approach of winter, during which
season the Ancients did not venture to sea.

[253] A notorious robber.

[254] Meaning, "_We are your oracles. _"--Dodona was an oracle in
Epirus. --The temple of Zeus there was surrounded by a dense forest, all
the trees of which were endowed with the gift of prophecy; both the
sacred oaks and the pigeons that lived in them answered the questions of
those who came to consult the oracle in pure Greek.

[255] The Greek word for _omen_ is the same as that for _bird_--[Greek:
ornis].

[256] A satire on the passion of the Greeks for seeing an omen in
everything.

[257] An imitation of the nightingale's song.

[258] God of the groves and wilds.

[259] The 'Mother of the Gods'; roaming the mountains, she held dances,
always attended by Pan and his accompanying rout of Fauns and Satyrs.

[260] An allusion to cock-fighting; the birds are armed with brazen
spurs.

[261] An allusion to the spots on this bird, which resemble the scars
left by a branding iron.

[262] He was of Asiatic origin, but wished to pass for an Athenian.

[263] Or Philamnon, King of Thrace; the Scholiast remarks that the
Phrygians and the Thracians had a common origin.

[264] The Greek word here, [Greek: pappos], is also the name of a little
bird.

[265] A basket-maker who had become rich. --The Phylarchs were the headmen
of the tribes, [Greek: Phulai]. They presided at the private assemblies
and were charged with the management of the treasury. --The Hipparchs, as
the name implies, were the leaders of the cavalry; there were only two of
these in the Athenian army.

[266] He had now become a senator, member of the [Greek: Boul_e].

[267] Pisthetaerus and Euelpides now both return with wings.

[268] Meaning, 'tis we who wanted to have these wings. --The verse from
Aeschylus, quoted here, is taken from 'The Myrmidons,' a tragedy of which
only a few fragments remain.

[269] The Greek word signified the city of Sparta, and also a kind of
broom used for weaving rough matting, which served for the beds of the
very poor.

[270] A fanciful name constructed from [Greek: nephel_e], a
cloud, and [Greek: kokkux], a cuckoo; thus a city of clouds and
cuckoos. --_Wolkenkukelheim_[*] is a clever approximation in German.
Cloud-cuckoo-town, perhaps, is the best English equivalent.

[* Transcriber's note: So in original. The correct German word is
_Wolkenkuckucksheim_. ]

[271] He was a boaster nicknamed [Greek: Kapnos], _smoke_, because he
promised a great deal and never kept his word.

[272] Also mentioned in 'The Wasps. '

[273] Because the war of the Titans against the gods was only a fiction
of the poets.

[274] A sacred cloth, with which the statue of Athene in the Acropolis
was draped.

[275] Meaning, to be patron-goddess of the city. Athene had a temple of
this name.

[276] An Athenian effeminate, frequently ridiculed by Aristophanes.

[277] This was the name of the wall surrounding the Acropolis.

[278] i. e. the fighting-cock.

[279] To waken the sentinels, who might else have fallen asleep. --There
are several merry contradictions in the various parts of this list of
injunctions.

[280] In allusion to the leather strap which flute-players wore to
constrict the cheeks and add to the power of the breath. The performer
here no doubt wore a raven's mask.

[281] Hellanicus, the Mitylenian historian, tells that this surname of
Artemis is derived from Colaenus, King of Athens before Cecrops and a
descendant of Hermes. In obedience to an oracle he erected a temple to
the goddess, invoking her as Artemis Colaenis (the Artemis of Colaenus).

[282] This Cleocritus, says the Scholiast, was long-necked and strutted
like an ostrich.

[283] The Chians were the most faithful allies of Athens, and hence their
name was always mentioned in prayers, decrees, etc.

[284] Verses sung by maidens.

[285] This ceremony took place on the tenth day after birth, and may be
styled the pagan baptism.

[286] Hiero, tyrant of Syracuse. --This passage is borrowed from Pindar.

[287] [Greek: Hieron] in Greek means sacrifice.

[288] A parody of poetic pathos, not to say bathos.

[289] Which the priest was preparing to sacrifice.

[290] Orneae, a city in Argolis ([Greek: ornis] in Greek means a bird).
It was because of this similarity in sound that the prophet alludes to
Orneae.

[291] Noted Athenian diviner, who, when the power was still shared
between Thucydides and Pericles, predicted that it would soon be centred
in the hands of the latter; his ground for this prophecy was the sight of
a ram with a single horn.

[292] No doubt another Athenian diviner, and possibly the same person
whom Aristophanes names in 'The Knights' and 'The Wasps' as being a
thief.

[293] A celebrated geometrician and astronomer.

[294] A deme contiguous to Athens. It is as though he said, "Well known
throughout all England and at Croydon. "

[295] Thales was no less famous as a geometrician than he was as a sage.

[296] Officers of Athens, whose duty was to protect strangers who came on
political or other business, and see to their interests generally.

[297] He addresses the inspector thus because of the royal and
magnificent manners he assumes.

[298] Magistrates appointed to inspect the tributary towns.

[299] A much-despised citizen, already mentioned. He ironically supposes
him invested with the powers of an Archon, which ordinarily were
entrusted only to men of good repute.

[300] A Persian satrap. --An allusion to certain orators, who, bribed with
Asiatic gold, had often defended the interests of the foe in the Public
Assembly.

[301] A Macedonian people in the peninsula of Chalcidice. This name is
chosen because of its similarity to the Greek word [Greek:
olophuresthai], _to groan_. It is from another verb, [Greek: ototuzein],
meaning the same thing, that Pisthetaerus coins the name of Ototyxians,
i. e. groaners, because he is about to beat the dealer. --The
mother-country had the right to impose any law it chose upon its
colonies.

[302] Corresponding to our month of April.

[303] Which the inspector had brought with him for the purpose of
inaugurating the assemblies of the people or some tribunal.

[304] So that the sacrifices might no longer be interrupted.

[305] A disciple of Democrites; he passed over from superstition to
atheism. The injustice and perversity of mankind led him to deny the
existence of the gods, to lay bare the mysteries and to break the idols.
The Athenians had put a price on his head, so he left Greece and perished
soon afterwards in a storm at sea.

[306] By this jest Aristophanes means to imply that tyranny is dead, and
that no one aspires to despotic power, though this silly accusation was
constantly being raised by the demagogues and always favourably received
by the populace.

[307] A poulterer. --Strouthian, used in joke to designate him, as if from
the name of his 'deme,' is derived from [Greek: strouthos], _a sparrow_.
The birds' foe is thus grotesquely furnished with an ornithological
surname.

[308] From Aphrodite (Venus), to whom he had awarded the apple, prize of
beauty, in the contest of the "goddesses three. "

[309] Laurium was an Athenian deme at the extremity of the Attic
peninsula containing valuable silver mines, the revenues of which were
largely employed in the maintenance of the fleet and payment of the
crews. The "owls of Laurium," of course, mean pieces of money; the
Athenian coinage was stamped with a representation of an owl, the bird of
Athene.

[310] A pun impossible to keep in English, on the two meanings of the
word [Greek: aetos], which signifies both an eagle and the gable of a
house or pediment of a temple.

[311] That is, birds' crops, into which they could stow away plenty of
good things.

[312] The Ancients appear to have placed metal discs over statues
standing in the open air, to save them from injury from the weather, etc.

[313] So as not to be carried away by the wind when crossing the sea,
cranes are popularly supposed to ballast themselves with stones, which
they carry in their beaks.

[314] Pisthetaerus modifies the Greek proverbial saying, "To what use
cannot hands be put? "

[315] A corps of Athenian cavalry was so named.

[316] Chaos, Night, Tartarus, and Erebus alone existed in the beginning;
Eros was born from Night and Erebus, and he wedded Chaos and begot Earth,
Air, and Heaven; so runs the fable.

[317] Iris appears from the top of the stage and arrests her flight in
mid-career.

[318] Ship, because of her wings, which resemble oars; cap, because she
no doubt wore the head-dress (as a messenger of the gods) with which
Hermes is generally depicted.

[319] The names of the two sacred galleys which carried Athenian
officials on State business.

[320] A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name
[Greek: triorchos] also meaning, etymologically, provided with three
testicles, vigorous in love.

[321] Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style. --'Lycimnius' is,
according to the Scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, which is
about a ship that is struck by lightning.

[322] i. e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens
from these countries.

[323] A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.

[324] Because this bird has a spotted plumage. --Porphyrion is also the
name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heaven.

[325] All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build
of the individual to whom the poet applies them. --Chaerephon, Socrates'
disciple, was of white and ashen hue. --Opontius was one-eyed. --Syracosius
was a braggart. --Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides,
resembled that bird physically.

[326] Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.

[327] From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e. g. the eagles,
the vultures, the crows.

[328] Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide.

[329] A parody of verses in Sophocles' 'Oenomaus. '

[330] The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian
Chalcidice.

[331] There was a real Cinesias--a dithyrambic poet, born at Thebes.

[332] The Scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight of
build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist--surely
rather a far-fetched interpretation!

[333] The Greek word used here was the word of command employed to stop
the rowers.
[334] Cinesias makes a bound each time that Pisthetaerus struck him.

[335] The tribes of Athens, or rather the rich citizens belonging to
them, were wont on feast-days to give representations of dithyrambic
choruses as well as of tragedies and comedies.

[336] Another dithyrambic poet, a man of extreme leanness.

[337] A parody of a hemistich from 'Alcaeus. '--The informer is
dissatisfied at only seeing birds of sombre plumage and poor appearance.
He would have preferred to denounce the rich.

[338] The informer, says the Scholiast, was clothed with a ragged cloak,
the tatters of which hung down like wings, in fact, a cloak that could
not protect him from the cold and must have made him long for the
swallows' return, i. e. the spring.

[339] A town in Achaia, where woollen cloaks were made.

[340] His trade was to accuse the rich citizens of the subject islands,
and drag them before the Athenian courts; he explains later the special
advantages of this branch of the informer's business.

[341] That is, whips--Corcyra being famous for these articles.

[342] Cleonymus is a standing butt of Aristophanes' wit, both as an
informer and a notorious poltroon.

[343] In allusion to the cave of the bandit Orestes; the poet terms him a
hero only because of his heroic name Orestes.

[344] Prometheus wants night to come and so reduce the risk of being seen
from Olympus.

[345] The clouds would prevent Zeus seeing what was happening below him.

[346] The third day of the festival of Demeter was a fast.

[347] A semi-savage people, addicted to violence and brigandage.

[348] Who, being reputed a stranger despite his pretension to the title
of a citizen, could only have a strange god for his patron or tutelary
deity.

[349] The Triballi were a Thracian people; it was a term commonly used in
Athens to describe coarse men, obscene debauchees and greedy parasites.

[350] There is a similar pun in the Greek.

[351] i. e. the _supremacy_ of Greece, the real object of the war.

[352] Prometheus had stolen the fire from the gods to gratify mankind.

[353] A celebrated misanthrope, contemporary to Aristophanes. Hating the
society of men, he had only a single friend, Apimantus, to whom he was
attached, because of their similarity of character; he also liked
Alcibiades, because he foresaw that this young man would be the ruin of
his country.

[354] The Canephori were young maidens, chosen from the first families of
the city, who carried baskets wreathed with myrtle at the feast of
Athene, while at those of Bacchus and Demeter they appeared with gilded
baskets. --The daughters of 'Metics,' or resident aliens, walked behind
them, carrying an umbrella and a stool.

[355] According to Ctesias, the Sciapodes were a people who dwelt on the
borders of the Atlantic. Their feet were larger than the rest of their
bodies, and to shield themselves from the sun's rays they held up one of
their feet as an umbrella. --By giving the Socratic philosophers the name
of Sciapodes here ([Greek: _podes_], feet, and [Greek: _skia_], shadow)
Aristophanes wishes to convey that they are walking in the dark and
busying themselves with the greatest nonsense.

[356] This Pisander was a notorious coward; for this reason the poet
jestingly supposes that he had lost his soul, the seat of courage.

[357] A [Greek: para prosdokian], considering the shape and height of the
camel, which can certainly not be included in the list of _small_
victims, e. g. the sheep and the goat.

[358] In the evocation of the dead, Book XI of the Odyssey.

[359] Chaerephon was given this same title by the Herald earlier in this
comedy. --Aristophanes supposes him to have come from hell because he is
lean and pallid.

[360] Posidon appears on the stage accompanied by Heracles and a
Triballian god.

[361] An Athenian general. --Neptune is trying to give Triballus some
notions of elegance and good behaviour.

[362] Aristophanes supposes that democracy is in the ascendant in Olympus
as it is in Athens.

[363] He is addressing his servant, Manes.

[364] Heracles softens at sight of the food. --Heracles is the glutton of
the comic poets.

[365] He pretends not to have seen them at first, being so much engaged
with his cookery.

[366] He pretends to forget the presence of the ambassadors.

[367] Posidon jestingly swears by himself.

[368] The barbarian god utters some gibberish which Pisthetaerus
interprets into consent.

[369] Heracles, the god of strength, was far from being remarkable in the
way of cleverness.

[370] This was Athenian law.

[371] The poet attributes to the gods the same customs as those which
governed Athens, and according to which no child was looked upon as
legitimate unless his father had entered him on the registers of his
phratria. The phratria was a division of the tribe and consisted of
thirty families.

[372] The chorus continues to tell what it has seen on its flights.

[373] The harbour of the island of Chios; but this name is here used in
the sense of being the land of informers ([Greek: phainein], to
denounce).

[374] i. e. near the orators' platform, or [Greek: B_ema], in the Public
Assembly, or [Greek: Ekkl_esia], because there stood the [Greek:
klepsudra], or water-clock, by which speeches were limited.

[375] A coined name, made up of [Greek: gl_otta], the tongue, and [Greek:
gast_er], the stomach, and meaning those who fill their stomach with what
they gain with their tongues, to wit, the orators.

[376] [Greek: Sukon] a fig, forms part of the word, [Greek:
sukophant_es], which in Greek means an informer.

[377] Both rhetoricians.

[378] Because they consecrated it specially to the god of eloquence.

[379] Basileia, whom he brings back from heaven.

[380] Terms used in regulating a dance.

[381] Where Pisthetaerus is henceforth to reign.




THE FROGS




INTRODUCTION

Like 'The Birds' this play rather avoids politics than otherwise, its
leading _motif_, over and above the pure fun and farce for their own sake
of the burlesque descent into the infernal regions, being a literary one,
an onslaught on Euripides the Tragedian and all his works and ways.

It was produced in the year 405 B. C. , the year after 'The Birds,' and
only one year before the Peloponnesian War ended disastrously for the
Athenian cause in the capture of the city by Lysander. First brought out
at the Lenaean festival in January, it was played a second time at the
Dionysia in March of the same year--a far from common honour. The drama
was not staged in the Author's own name, we do not know for what reasons,
but it won the first prize, Phrynichus' 'Muses' being second.

The plot is as follows. The God Dionysus, patron of the Drama, is
dissatisfied with the condition of the Art of Tragedy at Athens, and
resolves to descend to Hades in order to bring back again to earth one of
the old tragedians--Euripides, he thinks, for choice. Dressing himself
up, lion's skin and club complete, as Heracles, who has performed the
same perilous journey before, and accompanied by his slave Xanthias (a
sort of classical Sancho Panza) with the baggage, he starts on the
fearful expedition.

Coming to the shores of Acheron, he is ferried over in Charon's
boat--Xanthias has to walk round--the First Chorus of Marsh Frogs (from
which the play takes its title) greeting him with prolonged croakings.
Approaching Pluto's Palace in fear and trembling, he knocks timidly at
the gate. Being presently admitted, he finds a contest on the point of
being held before the King of Hades and the Initiates of the Eleusinian
Mysteries, who form the Second Chorus, between Aeschylus, the present
occupant of the throne of tragic excellence in hell, and the pushing,
self-satisfied, upstart Euripides, who is for ousting him from his pride
of place.

Each poet quotes in turn from his Dramas, and the indignant Aeschylus
makes fine fun of his rival's verses, and shows him up in the usual
Aristophanic style as a corrupter of morals, a contemptible casuist, and
a professor of the dangerous new learning of the Sophists, so justly held
in suspicion by true-blue Athenian Conservatives. Eventually a pair of
scales is brought in, and verses alternately spouted by the two
candidates are weighed against each other, the mighty lines of the Father
of Tragedy making his flippant, finickin little rival's scale kick the
beam every time.

Dionysus becomes a convert to the superior merits of the old school of
tragedy, and contemptuously dismisses Euripides, to take Aeschylus back
with him to the upper world instead, leaving Sophocles meantime in
occupation of the coveted throne of tragedy in the nether regions.

Needless to say, the various scenes of the journey to Hades, the crossing
of Acheron, the Frogs' choric songs, and the trial before Pluto, afford
opportunities for much excellent fooling in our Author's very finest vein
of drollery, and "seem to have supplied the original idea for those
modern burlesques upon the Olympian and Tartarian deities which were at
one time so popular. "

* * * * *

THE FROGS


DRAMATIS PERSONAE

DIONYSUS.
XANTHIAS, his Servant.
HERACLES.
A DEAD MAN.
CHARON.
AEACUS.
FEMALE ATTENDANT OF PERSEPHONE.
INKEEPERS' WIVES.
EURIPIDES.
AESCHYLUS.
PLUTO.
CHORUS OF FROGS.
CHORUS OF INITIATES.

SCENE: In front of the temple of Heracles, and on the banks of Acheron in
the Infernal Regions.

* * * * *

THE FROGS


XANTHIAS. Now am I to make one of those jokes that have the knack of
always making the spectators laugh?

DIONYSUS. Aye, certainly, any one you like, excepting "I am worn out. "
Take care you don't say that, for it gets on my nerves.

XANTHIAS. Do you want some other drollery?

DIONYSUS. Yes, only not, "I am quite broken up. "

XANTHIAS. Then what witty thing shall I say?

DIONYSUS. Come, take courage; only . . .

XANTHIAS. Only what?

DIONYSUS. . . . don't start saying as you shift your package from shoulder
to shoulder, "Ah! that's a relief! "

XANTHIAS. May I not at least say, that unless I am relieved of this
cursed load I shall let wind?

DIONYSUS. Oh! for pity's sake, no! you don't want to make me spew.

XANTHIAS. What need then had I to take this luggage, if I must not copy
the porters that Phrynichus, Lycis and Amipsias[382] never fail to put on
the stage?

DIONYSUS. Do nothing of the kind. Whenever I chance to see one of these
stage tricks, I always leave the theatre feeling a good year older.

XANTHIAS. Oh! my poor back! you are broken and I am not allowed to make a
single joke.

DIONYSUS. Just mark the insolence of this Sybarite! I, Dionysus, the son
of a . . . wine-jar,[383] I walk, I tire myself, and I set yonder rascal
upon an ass, that he may not have the burden of carrying his load.

XANTHIAS. But am I not carrying it?

DIONYSUS. No, since you are on your beast.

XANTHIAS. Nevertheless I am carrying this. . . .

DIONYSUS. What?

XANTHIAS. . . . and it is very heavy.

DIONYSUS. But this burden you carry is borne by the ass.

XANTHIAS. What I have here, 'tis certainly I who bear it, and not the
ass, no, by all the gods, most certainly not!

DIONYSUS. How can you claim to be carrying it, when you are carried?

XANTHIAS. That I can't say; but this shoulder is broken, anyhow.

DIONYSUS. Well then, since you say that the ass is no good to you, pick
her up in your turn and carry her.

XANTHIAS. What a pity I did not fight at sea;[384] I would baste your
ribs for that joke.

DIONYSUS. Dismount, you clown! Here is a door,[385] at which I want to
make my first stop. Hi! slave! hi! hi! slave!

HERACLES (_from inside the Temple_). Do you want to beat in the door? He
knocks like a Centaur. [386] Why, what's the matter?

DIONYSUS. Xanthias!

XANTHIAS. Well?

DIONYSUS. Did you notice?

XANTHIAS. What?

DIONYSUS. How I frightened him?

XANTHIAS. Bah! you're mad!

HERACLES. Ho, by Demeter! I cannot help laughing; it's no use biting my
lips, I must laugh.

DIONYSUS. Come out, friend; I have need of you.

HERACLES. Oh! 'tis enough to make a fellow hold his sides to see this
lion's-skin over a saffron robe!