No More Learning

"You sleep in the maid's room? " asked K. , as he went back to the
businessman. "Leni's let me have it," answered the businessman, "it has
many advantages. " K. looked long at him; his first impression of the
businessman had perhaps not been right; he had experience as his trial
had already lasted a long time, but he had paid a heavy price for this
experience. K. was suddenly unable to bear the sight of the businessman
any longer. "Bring him to bed, then! " he called out to Leni, who seemed
to understand him. For himself, he wanted to go to the lawyer and, by
dismissing him, free himself from not only the lawyer but also from Leni
and the businessman. But before he had reached the door the businessman
spoke to him gently. "Excuse me, sir," he said, and K. looked round
crossly. "You've forgotten your promise," said the businessman,
stretching his hand out to K. imploringly from where he sat. "You were
going to tell me a secret. " "That is true," said K. , as he glanced at
Leni, who was watching him carefully, to check on her. "So listen; it's
hardly a secret now anyway. I'm going to see the lawyer now to sack
him. " "He's sacking him! " yelled the businessman, and he jumped up from
his chair and ran around the kitchen with his arms in the air. He kept
on shouting, "He's sacking his lawyer! " Leni tried to rush at K. but
the businessman got in her way so that she shoved him away with her
fists. Then, still with her hands balled into fists, she ran after K.
who, however, had been given a long start. He was already inside the
lawyer's room by the time Leni caught up with him. He had almost closed
the door behind himself, but Leni held the door open with her foot,
grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back. But he put such pressure on
her wrist that, with a sigh, she was forced to release him. She did not
dare go into the room straight away, and K. locked the door with the
key.

"I've been waiting for you a very long time," said the lawyer from
his bed. He had been reading something by the light of a candle but now
he laid it onto the bedside table and put his glasses on, looking at K.
sharply through them. Instead of apologising K. said, "I'll be leaving
again soon. " As he had not apologised the lawyer ignored what K. said,
and replied, "I won't let you in this late again next time. " "I find
that quite acceptable," said K. The lawyer looked at him quizzically.
"Sit down," he said. "As you wish," said K. , drawing a chair up to the
bedside table and sitting down.
"It seemed to me that you locked the door," said the lawyer. "Yes,"
said K. , "it was because of Leni. " He had no intention of letting
anyone off lightly. But the lawyer asked him, "Was she being
importunate again? " "Importunate? " asked K. "Yes," said the lawyer,
laughing as he did so, had a fit of coughing and then, once it had
passed, began to laugh again. "I'm sure you must have noticed how
importunate she can be sometimes," he said, and patted K. 's hand which
K. had rested on the bedside table and which he now snatched back. "You
don't attach much importance to it, then," said the lawyer when K. was
silent, "so much the better. Otherwise I might have needed to apologise
to you. It is a peculiarity of Leni's. I've long since forgiven her
for it, and I wouldn't be talking of it now, if you hadn't locked the
door just now. Anyway, perhaps I should at least explain this
peculiarity of hers to you, but you seem rather disturbed, the way
you're looking at me, and so that's why I'll do it, this peculiarity of
hers consists in this; Leni finds most of the accused attractive. She
attaches herself to each of them, loves each of them, even seems to be
loved by each of them; then she sometimes entertains me by telling me
about them when I allow her to. I am not so astonished by all of this
as you seem to be. If you look at them in the right way the accused
really can be attractive, quite often. But that is a remarkable and to
some extent scientific phenomenon. Being indicted does not cause any
clear, precisely definable change in a person's appearance, of course.
But it's not like with other legal matters, most of them remain in their
usual way of life and, if they have a good lawyer looking after them,
the trial doesn't get in their way. But there are nonetheless those who
have experience in these matters who can look at a crowd, however big,
and tell you which among them is facing a charge. How can they do that,
you will ask. My answer will not please you. It is simply that those
who are facing a charge are the most attractive. It cannot be their
guilt that makes them attractive as not all of them are guilty - at
least that's what I, as a lawyer, have to say - and nor can it be the
proper punishment that has made them attractive as not all of them are
punished, so it can only be that the proceedings levelled against them
take some kind of hold on them. Whatever the reason, some of these
attractive people are indeed very attractive. But all of them are
attractive, even Block, pitiful worm that he is. " As the lawyer
finished what he was saying, K. was fully in control of himself, he had
even nodded conspicuously at his last few words in order to confirm to
himself the view he had already formed; that the lawyer was trying to
confuse him, as he always did, by making general and irrelevant
observations, and thus distract him from the main question of what he
was actually doing for K. 's trial. The lawyer must have noticed that K.
was offering him more resistance than before, as he became silent,
giving K. the chance to speak himself, and then, as K. also remained
silent, he asked, "Did you have a particular reason for coming to see me
today? " "Yes," said K. , putting his hand up to slightly shade his eyes
from the light of the candle so that he could see the lawyer better, "I
wanted to tell you that I'm withdrawing my representation from you, with
immediate effect. " "Do I understand you rightly? " asked the lawyer as
he half raised himself in his bed and supported himself with one hand on
the pillow. "I think you do," said K. , sitting stiffly upright as if
waiting in ambush. "Well we can certainly discuss this plan of yours,"
said the lawyer after a pause. "It's not a plan any more," said K.
"That may be," said the lawyer, "but we still mustn't rush anything. "
He used the word 'we', as if he had no intention of letting K. go free,
and as if, even if he could no longer represent him, he could still at
least continue as his adviser. "Nothing is being rushed," said K. ,
standing slowly up and going behind his chair, "everything has been well
thought out and probably even for too long. The decision is final. "
"Then allow me to say a few words," said the lawyer, throwing the bed
cover to one side and sitting on the edge of the bed. His naked, white-
haired legs shivered in the cold. He asked K. to pass him a blanket
from the couch. K. passed him the blanket and said, "You are running
the risk of catching cold for no reason. " "The circumstances are
important enough," said the lawyer as he wrapped the bed cover around
the top half of his body and then the blanket around his legs. "Your
uncle is my friend and in the course of time I've become fond of you as
well. I admit that quite openly. There's nothing in that for me to be
ashamed of. " It was very unwelcome for K. to hear the old man speak in
this touching way, as it forced him to explain himself more fully, which
he would rather have avoided, and he was aware that it also confused him
even though it could never make him reverse his decision. "Thank you
for feeling so friendly toward me," he said, "and I also realise how
deeply involved you've been in my case, as deeply as possible for
yourself and to bring as much advantage as possible to me. Nonetheless,
I have recently come to the conviction that it is not enough. I would
naturally never attempt, considering that you are so much older and more
experienced than I am, to convince you of my opinion; if I have ever
unintentionally done so then I beg your forgiveness, but, as you have
just said yourself, the circumstances are important enough and it is my
belief that my trial needs to be approached with much more vigour than
has so far been the case. " "I see," said the lawyer, "you've become
impatient. " "I am not impatient," said K. , with some irritation and he
stopped paying so much attention to his choice of words. "When I first
came here with my uncle you probably noticed I wasn't greatly concerned
about my case, and if I wasn't reminded of it by force, as it were, I
would forget about it completely. But my uncle insisted I should allow
you to represent me and I did so as a favour to him. I could have
expected the case to be less of a burden than it had been, as the point
of taking on a lawyer is that he should take on some of its weight. But
what actually happened was the opposite. Before, the trial was never
such a worry for me as it has been since you've been representing me.
When I was by myself I never did anything about my case, I was hardly
aware of it, but then, once there was someone representing me,
everything was set for something to happen, I was always, without cease,
waiting for you to do something, getting more and more tense, but you
did nothing. I did get some information about the court from you that I
probably could not have got anywhere else, but that can't be enough when
the trial, supposedly in secret, is getting closer and closer to me. "
K. had pushed the chair away and stood erect, his hands in the pockets
of his frock coat. "After a certain point in the proceedings," said the
lawyer quietly and calmly, "nothing new of any importance ever happens.
So many litigants, at the same stage in their trials, have stood before
me just like you are now and spoken in the same way. " "Then these other
litigants," said K. , "have all been right, just as I am. That does not
show that I'm not. " "I wasn't trying to show that you were mistaken,"
said the lawyer, "but I wanted to add that I expected better judgement
from you than from the others, especially as I've given you more insight
into the workings of the court and my own activities than I normally do.
And now I'm forced to accept that, despite everything, you have too
little trust in me. You don't make it easy for me. " How the lawyer was
humiliating himself to K. ! He was showing no regard for the dignity of
his position, which on this point, must have been at its most sensitive.
And why did he do that? He did seem to be very busy as a lawyer as well
a rich man, neither the loss of income nor the loss of a client could
have been of much importance to him in themselves. He was moreover
unwell and should have been thinking of passing work on to others. And
despite all that he held on tightly to K. Why? Was it something
personal for his uncle's sake, or did he really see K. 's case as one
that was exceptional and hoped to be able to distinguish himself with
it, either for K. 's sake or - and this possibility could never be
excluded - for his friends at the court? It was not possible to learn
anything by looking at him, even though K. was scrutinizing him quite
brazenly. It could almost be supposed he was deliberately hiding his
thoughts as he waited to see what effect his words would have. But he
clearly deemed K. 's silence to be favourable for himself and he
continued, "You will have noticed the size of my office, but that I
don't employ any staff to help me. That used to be quite different,
there was a time when several young lawyers were working for me but now
I work alone. This is partly to do with changes in the way I do
business, in that I concentrate nowadays more and more on matters such
as your own case, and partly to do with the ever deeper understanding
that I acquire from these legal matters. I found that I could never let
anyone else deal with this sort of work unless I wanted to harm both the
client and the job I had taken on. But the decision to do all the work
myself had its obvious result: I was forced to turn almost everyone away
who asked me to represent them and could only accept those I was
especially interested in - well there are enough creatures who leap at
every crumb I throw down, and they're not so very far away. Most
importantly, I became ill from over-work. But despite that I don't
regret my decision, quite possibly I should have turned more cases away
than I did, but it did turn out to be entirely necessary for me to
devote myself fully to the cases I did take on, and the successful
results showed that it was worth it. I once read a description of the
difference between representing someone in ordinary legal matters and in
legal matters of this sort, and the writer expressed it very well. This
is what he said: some lawyers lead their clients on a thread until
judgement is passed, but there are others who immediately lift their
clients onto their shoulders and carry them all the way to the judgement
and beyond. That's just how it is. But it was quite true when I said I
never regret all this work. But if, as in your case, they are so fully
misunderstood, well, then I come very close to regretting it. " All this
talking did more to make K. impatient than to persuade him. From the
way the lawyer was speaking, K. thought he could hear what he could
expect if he gave in, the delays and excuses would begin again, reports
of how the documents were progressing, how the mood of the court
officials had improved, as well as all the enormous difficulties - in
short all that he had heard so many times before would be brought out
again even more fully, he would try to mislead K. with hopes that were
never specified and to make him suffer with threats that were never
clear. He had to put a stop to that, so he said, "What will you
undertake on my behalf if you continue to represent me? " The lawyer
quietly accepted even this insulting question, and answered, "I should
continue with what I've already been doing for you. " "That's just what
I thought," said K. , "and now you don't need to say another word. " "I
will make one more attempt," said the lawyer as if whatever had been
making K. so annoyed was affecting him too. "You see, I have the
impression that you have not only misjudged the legal assistance I have
given you but also that that misjudgement has led you to behave in this
way, you seem, although you are the accused, to have been treated too
well or, to put it a better way, handled with neglect, with apparent
neglect. Even that has its reason; it is often better to be in chains
than to be free. But I would like to show you how other defendants are
treated, perhaps you will succeed in learning something from it. What I
will do is I will call Block in, unlock the door and sit down here
beside the bedside table. " "Be glad to," said K. , and did as the lawyer
suggested; he was always ready to learn something new. But to make sure
of himself for any event he added, "but you do realise that you are no
longer to be my lawyer, don't you? " "Yes," said the lawyer. "But you
can still change your mind today if you want to. " He lay back down in
the bed, pulled the quilt up to his chin and turned to face the wall.
Then he rang.

Leni appeared almost the moment he had done so. She looked
hurriedly at K. and the lawyer to try and find out what had happened;
she seemed to be reassured by the sight of K. sitting calmly at the
lawyer's bed. She smiled and nodded to K. , K. looked blankly back at
her. "Fetch Block," said the lawyer. But instead of going to fetch
him, Leni just went to the door and called out, "Block! To the lawyer! "
Then, probably because the lawyer had turned his face to the wall and
was paying no attention, she slipped in behind K. 's chair. From then
on, she bothered him by leaning forward over the back of the chair or,
albeit very tenderly and carefully, she would run her hands through his
hair and over his cheeks. K. eventually tried to stop her by taking
hold of one hand, and after some resistance Leni let him keep hold of
it. Block came as soon as he was called, but he remained standing in
the doorway and seemed to be wondering whether he should enter or not.
He raised his eyebrows and lowered his head as if listening to find out
whether the order to attend the lawyer would be repeated. K. could have
encouraged to enter, but he had decided to make a final break not only
with the lawyer but with everything in his home, so he kept himself
motionless. Leni was also silent.
Block noticed that at least no-one
was chasing him away, and, on tiptoe, he entered the room, his face was
tense, his hands were clenched behind his back. He left the door open
in case he needed to go back again. K. did not even glance at him, he
looked instead only at the thick quilt under which the lawyer could not
be seen as he had squeezed up very close to the wall. Then his voice
was heard: "Block here? " he asked. Block had already crept some way
into the room but this question seemed to give him first a shove in the
breast and then another in the back, he seemed about to fall but
remained standing, deeply bowed, and said, "At your service, sir. "
"What do you want? " asked the lawyer, "you've come at a bad time. "
"Wasn't I summoned? " asked Block, more to himself than the lawyer. He
held his hands in front of himself as protection and would have been
ready to run away any moment. "You were summoned," said the lawyer,
"but you have still come at a bad time. " Then, after a pause he added,
"You always come at a bad time. " When the lawyer started speaking Block
had stopped looking at the bed but stared rather into one of the
corners, just listening, as if the light from the speaker were brighter
than Block could bear to look at. But it was also difficult for him to
listen, as the lawyer was speaking into the wall and speaking quickly
and quietly. "Would you like me to go away again, sir? " asked Block.
"Well you're here now," said the lawyer. "Stay! " It was as if the
lawyer had not done as Block had wanted but instead threatened him with
a stick, as now Block really began to shake. "I went to see," said the
lawyer, "the third judge yesterday, a friend of mine, and slowly brought
the conversation round to the subject of you. Do you want to know what
he said? " "Oh, yes please," said Block. The lawyer did not answer
immediately, so Block repeated his request and lowered his head as if
about to kneel down. But then K. spoke to him: "What do you think
you're doing? " he shouted. Leni had wanted to stop him from calling out
and so he took hold of her other hand. It was not love that made him
squeeze it and hold on to it so tightly, she sighed frequently and tried
to disengage her hands from him. But Block was punished for K. 's
outburst, as the lawyer asked him, "Who is your lawyer? " "You are,
sir," said Block. "And who besides me? " the lawyer asked. "No-one
besides you, sir," said Block. "And let there be no-one besides me,"
said the lawyer. Block fully understood what that meant, he glowered at
K. , shaking his head violently. If these actions had been translated
into words they would have been coarse insults. K. had been friendly
and willing to discuss his own case with someone like this! "I won't
disturb you any more," said K. , leaning back in his chair. "You can
kneel down or creep on all fours, whatever you like. I won't bother
with you any more. " But Block still had some sense of pride, at least
where K. was concerned, and he went towards him waving his fists,
shouting as loudly as he dared while the lawyer was there. "You
shouldn't speak to me like that, that's not allowed. Why are you
insulting me? Especially here in front of the lawyer, where both of us,
you and me, we're only tolerated because of his charity. You're not a
better person than me, you've been accused of something too, you're
facing a charge too. If, in spite of that, you're still a gentleman
then I'm just as much a gentleman as you are, if not even more so. And
I want to be spoken to as a gentleman, especially by you. If you think
being allowed to sit there and quietly listen while I creep on all fours
as you put it makes you something better than me, then there's an old
legal saying you ought to bear in mind: If you're under suspicion it's
better to be moving than still, as if you're still you can be in the pan
of the scales without knowing it and be weighed along with your sins. "
K. said nothing. He merely looked in amazement at this distracted
being, his eyes completely still. He had gone through such changes in
just the last few hours! Was it the trial that was throwing him from
side to side in this way and stopped him knowing who was friend and who
was foe? Could he not see the lawyer was deliberately humiliating him
and had no other purpose today than to show off his power to K. , and
perhaps even thereby subjugate K. ? But if Block was incapable of seeing
that, or if he so feared the lawyer that no such insight would even be
of any use to him, how was it that he was either so sly or so bold as to
lie to the lawyer and conceal from him the fact that he had other
lawyers working on his behalf? And how did he dare to attack K. , who
could betray his secret any time he liked? But he dared even more than
this, he went to the lawyer's bed and began there to make complaints
about K. "Dr. Huld, sir," he said, "did you hear the way this man spoke
to me? You can count the length of his trial in hours, and he wants to
tell me what to do when I've been involved in a legal case for five
years. He even insults me. He doesn't know anything, but he insults
me, when I, as far as my weak ability allows, when I've made a close
study of how to behave with the court, what we ought to do and what the
court practices are. " "Don't let anyone bother you," said the lawyer,
"and do what seems to you to be right. " "I will," said Block, as if
speaking to himself to give himself courage, and with a quick glance to
the side he kneeled down close beside the bed. "I'm kneeling now Dr.
Huld, sir," he said. But the lawyer remained silent. With one hand,
Block carefully stroked the bed cover. In the silence while he did so,
Leni, as she freed herself from K. 's hands, said, "You're hurting me.
Let go of me. I'm going over to Block. " She went over to him and sat
on the edge of the bed. Block was very pleased at this and with lively,
but silent, gestures he immediately urged her to intercede for him with
the lawyer. It was clear that he desperately needed to be told
something by the lawyer, although perhaps only so that he could make use
of the information with his other lawyers. Leni probably knew very well
how the lawyer could be brought round, pointed to his hand and pursed
her lips as if making a kiss. Block immediately performed the hand-kiss
and, at further urging from Leni, repeated it twice more. But the
lawyer continued to be silent. Then Leni leant over the lawyer, as she
stretched out, the attractive shape of her body could be seen, and, bent
over close to his face, she stroked his long white hair. That now
forced him to give an answer. "I'm rather wary of telling him," said
the lawyer, and his head could be seen shaking slightly, perhaps so that
he would feel the pressure of Leni's hand better. Block listened
closely with his head lowered, as if by listening he were breaking an
order. "What makes you so wary about it? " asked Leni. K. had the
feeling he was listening to a contrived dialogue that had been repeated
many times, that would be repeated many times more, and that for Block
alone it would never lose its freshness. "What has his behaviour been
like today? " asked the lawyer instead of an answer. Before Leni said
anything she looked down at Block and watched him a short while as he
raised his hands towards her and rubbed them together imploringly.
Finally she gave a serious nod, turned back to the lawyer and said,
"He's been quiet and industrious. " This was an elderly businessman, a
man whose beard was long, and he was begging a young girl to speak on
his behalf. Even if there was some plan behind what he did, there was
nothing that could reinstate him in the eyes of his fellow man. K.
could not understand how the lawyer could have thought this performance
would win him over. Even if he had done nothing earlier to make him
want to leave then this scene would have done so. It was almost
humiliating even for the onlooker. So these were the lawyer's methods,
which K. fortunately had not been exposed to for long, to let the client
forget about the whole world and leave him with nothing but the hope of
reaching the end of his trial by this deluded means. He was no longer a
client, he was the lawyer's dog. If the lawyer had ordered him to crawl
under the bed as if it were a kennel and to bark out from under it, then
he would have done so with enthusiasm. K. listened to all of this,
testing it and thinking it over as if he had been given the task of
closely observing everything spoken here, inform a higher office about
it and write a report. "And what has he been doing all day? " asked the
lawyer. "I kept him locked in the maid's room all day," said Leni, "so
that he wouldn't stop me doing my work. That's where he usually stays.
From time to time I looked in through the spyhole to see what he was
doing, and each time he was kneeling on the bed and reading the papers
you gave him, propped up on the window sill. That made a good
impression on me; as the window only opens onto an air shaft and gives
hardly any light. It showed how obedient he is that he was even reading
in those conditions. " "I'm pleased to hear it," said the lawyer. "But
did he understand what he was reading? " While this conversation was
going on, Block continually moved his lips and was clearly formulating
the answers he hoped Leni would give. "Well I can't give you any
certain answer to that of course," said Leni, "but I could see that he
was reading thoroughly. He spent all day reading the same page, running
his finger along the lines. Whenever I looked in on him he sighed as if
this reading was a lot of work for him. I expect the papers you gave
him were very hard to understand. " "Yes," said the lawyer, "they
certainly are that. And I really don't think he understood anything of
them. But they should at least give him some inkling of just how hard a
struggle it is and how much work it is for me to defend him. And who am
I doing all this hard work for? I'm doing it - it's laughable even to
say it - I'm doing it for Block. He ought to realise what that means,
too. Did he study without a pause? " "Almost without a pause," answered
Leni. "Just the once he asked me for a drink of water, so I gave him a
glassful through the window. Then at eight o'clock I let him out and
gave him something to eat. " Block glanced sideways at K. , as if he were
being praised and had to impress K. as well. He now seemed more
optimistic, he moved more freely and rocked back and forth on his knees.
This made his astonishment all the more obvious when he heard the
following words from the lawyer: "You speak well of him," said the
lawyer, "but that's just what makes it difficult for me. You see, the
judge did not speak well of him at all, neither about Block nor about
his case. " "Didn't speak well of him? " asked Leni. "How is that
possible? " Block looked at her with such tension he seemed to think
that although the judge's words had been spoken so long before she would
be able to change them in his favour. "Not at all," said the lawyer.
"In fact he became quite cross when I started to talk about Block to
him. 'Don't talk to me about Block,' he said. 'He is my client,' said
I. 'You're letting him abuse you,' he said. 'I don't think his case is
lost yet,' said I. 'You're letting him abuse you,' he repeated. 'I
don't think so,' said I. 'Block works hard in his case and always knows
where it stands. He practically lives with me so that he always knows
what's happening. You don't always find such enthusiasm as that. He's
not very pleasant personally, I grant you, his manners are terrible and
he's dirty, but as far as the trial's concerned he's quite immaculate. '
I said immaculate, but I was deliberately exaggerating. Then he said,
'Block is sly, that's all. He's accumulated plenty of experience and
knows how to delay proceedings. But there's more that he doesn't know
than he does. What do you think he'd say if he learned his trial still
hasn't begun, if you told him they haven't even rung the bell to
announce the start of proceedings? ' Alright Block, alright," said the
lawyer, as at these words Block had begun to raise himself on his
trembling knees and clearly wanted to plead for some explanation. It
was the first time the lawyer had spoken any clear words directly to
Block. He looked down with his tired eyes, half blankly and half at
Block, who slowly sank back down on his knees under this gaze. "What
the judge said has no meaning for you," said the lawyer. "You needn't
be frightened at every word. If you do it again I won't tell you
anything else at all. It's impossible to start a sentence without you
looking at me as if you were receiving your final judgement. You should
be ashamed of yourself here in front of my client! And you're
destroying the trust he has for me. Just what is it you want? You're
still alive, you're still under my protection. There's no point in
worrying! Somewhere you've read that the final judgement can often come
without warning, from anyone at any time. And, in the right
circumstances, that's basically true, but it's also true that I dislike
your anxiety and fear and see that you don't have the trust in me you
should have. Now what have I just said? I repeated something said by
one of the judges. You know that there are so many various opinions
about the procedure that they form into a great big pile and nobody can
make any sense of them. This judge, for instance, sees proceedings as
starting at a different point from where I do. A difference of opinion,
nothing more. At a certain stage in the proceedings tradition has it
that a sign is given by ringing a bell. This judge sees that as the
point at which proceedings begin. I can't set out all the opinions
opposed to that view here, and you wouldn't understand it anyway,
suffice it to say that there are many reasons to disagree with him. "
Embarrassed, Block ran his fingers through the pile of the carpet, his
anxiety about what the judge had said had let him forget his inferior
status towards the lawyer for a while, he thought only about himself and
turned the judges words round to examine them from all sides. "Block,"
said Leni, as if reprimanding him, and, taking hold of the collar of his
coat, pulled him up slightly higher. "Leave the carpet alone and listen
to what the lawyer is saying. "

This chapter was left unfinished.




Chapter Nine
In the Cathedral

A very important Italian business contact of the bank had come to
visit the city for the first time and K. was given the task of showing
him some of its cultural sights. At any other time he would have seen
this job as an honour but now, when he was finding it hard even to
maintain his current position in the bank, he accepted it only with
reluctance. Every hour that he could not be in the office was a cause
of concern for him, he was no longer able to make use of his time in the
office anything like as well as he had previously, he spent many hours
merely pretending to do important work, but that only increased his
anxiety about not being in the office. Then he sometimes thought he saw
the deputy director, who was always watching, come into K. 's office, sit
at his desk, look through his papers, receive clients who had almost
become old friends of K. , and lure them away from him, perhaps he even
discovered mistakes, mistakes that seemed to threaten K. from a thousand
directions when he was at work now, and which he could no longer avoid.
So now, if he was ever asked to leave the office on business or even
needed to make a short business trip, however much an honour it seemed -
and tasks of this sort happened to have increased substantially recently
- there was always the suspicion that they wanted to get him out of his
office for a while and check his work, or at least the idea that they
thought he was dispensable. It would not have been difficult for him to
turn down most of these jobs, but he did not dare to do so because, if
his fears had the slightest foundation, turning the jobs down would have
been an acknowledgement of them. For this reason, he never demurred
from accepting them, and even when he was asked to go on a tiring
business trip lasting two days he said nothing about having to go out in
the rainy autumn weather when he had a severe chill, just in order to
avoid the risk of not being asked to go. When, with a raging headache,
he arrived back from this trip he learned that he had been chosen to
accompany the Italian business contact the following day.