No More Learning

_ Said I not well? More easily shall a corpse lie mouldering in
the sun, and the vulture mark it not, than any strange sight escape
Timolaus, no matter though he must run all the way to Corinth at a
stretch for it. --Indefatigable sightseer!

_Ti. _ Well, Lycinus, what do you expect? One has nothing to do, and
just then one hears that a great monster of an Egyptian corn-ship has
put in to Piraeus. What is more, I believe you and Samippus came down
on precisely the same errand.

_Ly. _ So we did, so we did, and Adimantus with us; only he has got lost
somewhere in the crowd of spectators. We came all together to the ship;
and going on board you were in front, Samippus, if I remember, and
Adimantus next, and I was behind, hanging on to him for dear life; he
gave me a hand all up the gangway, because I had never taken my shoes
off, and he had; but I saw no more of him after that, either on board
or when we came ashore.

_Sa. _ You see when it was we lost him, Lycinus? It must have been
when that nice-looking boy came up from the hold, you know, with the
beautiful clean linen, and his hair parted in the middle and done up in
a knot behind. If I know anything of Adimantus, he no sooner saw that
charming sight, than he said good-bye to the Egyptian ship-wright who
was showing us round; and now stands urging his tearful suit. You know
his way; tears come natural to him in these affairs of the heart.

_Ly. _ Well, but, Samippus, this boy was nothing great, that he should
make such a conquest; Adimantus has the beauties of Athens at his
beck; nice gentlemanly boys, with good Greek on their tongues, and
the mark of the gymnasium on every muscle; a man may languish under
_their_ rigours with some credit. As for this fellow, to say nothing
of his dark skin, and protruding lips, and spindle shanks, his words
came tumbling out in a heap, one on the top of another; it was Greek,
of course, but the voice, the accent were Egyptian born. And then his
hair: no freeman ever had his hair tied up in a knot behind like that.

_Ti. _ Oh, but that is a sign of noble birth in Egypt, Lycinus. All
gentlemen's sons wear their hair done up till they reach manhood. It
was the other way with our ancestors: the topknot, and the golden
grasshopper to keep it together, were the proper thing for old men in
their time.

_Sa. _ Very much to the point, Timolaus; you allude to the remarks in
Thucydides's preface, about our old luxurious habits, as preserved in
the Asiatic colonies.

_Ly. _ Of course! I remember now where it was we lost Adimantus. It was
when we were standing all that time looking up at the mast, counting
the layers of hides, and watching that marvellous fellow going up the
shrouds, and running along the yards, perfectly comfortable, with just
a hand on the yard-tackling.

_Sa. _ So it was. Well, now what are we to do? Shall we wait for him
here, or do you think I had better go back on board?

_Ti. _ No, no, let us walk on; he has probably gone tearing off home,
not being able to find us. Anyhow, he knows the way; he will never get
lost for want of us to take care of him.

_Ly. _ It is rather a shame, perhaps, to go off and leave one's friend
to shift for himself. However, I agree, if Samippus does.

_Sa. _ Certainly I do. We may find the gymnasium open still. --I say,
though, what a size that ship was! 180 feet long, the man said, and
something over a quarter of that in width; and from deck to keel, the
maximum depth, through the hold, 44 feet. And then the height of the
mast, with its huge yard; and what a forestay it takes to hold it! And
the lofty stern with its gradual curve, and its gilded beak, balanced
at the other end by the long rising sweep of the prow, and the figures
of her name-goddess, Isis, on either side. As to the other ornamental
details, the paintings and the scarlet topsail, I was more struck by
the anchors, and the capstans and windlasses, and the stern cabins. The
crew was like a small army. And they were saying she carried as much
corn as would feed every soul in Attica for a year. And all depends for
its safety on one little old atomy of a man, who controls that great
rudder with a mere broomstick of a tiller! He was pointed out to me;
Heron was his name, I think; a woolly-pated fellow, half-bald.

_Ti. _ He is a wonderful hand at it, so the crew say; a very Proteus in
sea-cunning. Did they tell you how he brought them here, and all their
adventures? how they were saved by a star?

_Ly. _ No; you can tell us about that now.

_Ti. _ I had it from the master, a nice intelligent fellow to talk to.
They set sail with a moderate wind from Pharus, and sighted Acamas on
the seventh day. Then a west wind got up, and they were carried as
far east as Sidon. On their way thence they came in for a heavy gale,
and the tenth day brought them through the Straits to the Chelidon
Isles; and there they very nearly went to the bottom. I have sailed
past the Chelidons myself, and I know the sort of seas you get there,
especially if the wind is SW. by S. ; it is just there, of course, that
the division takes place between the Lycian and Pamphylian waters; and
the surge caused by the numerous currents gets broken at the headland,
whose rocks have been sharpened by the action of the water till they
are like razors; the result is a stupendous crash of waters, the waves
often rising to the very top of the crags. This was the kind of thing
they found themselves in for, according to the master,--and on a pitch
dark night! However, the Gods were moved by their distress, and showed
them a fire that enabled them to identify the Lycian coast; and a
bright star--either Castor or Pollux--appeared at the masthead, and
guided the ship into the open sea on their left; just in time, for
she was making straight for the cliff. Having once lost their proper
course, they sailed on through the Aegean, bearing up against the
Etesian winds, until they came to anchor in Piraeus yesterday, being
the seventieth day of the voyage; you see how far they had been carried
out of their way; whereas if they had taken Crete on their right, they
would have doubled Malea, and been at Rome by this time.

_Ly. _ A pretty pilot this Heron, and no mistake, to get so far out in
his reckoning; a man after Nereus's heart! --But look! that is surely
Adimantus?

_Ti. _ Adimantus it is. Let us hail him. Adimantus! . . . Son of
Strombichus! . . . of the deme of Myrrhinus! He must be offended with us,
or else he is deaf; it is certainly he.

_Ly. _ I can make him out quite clearly now; his cloak, his walk, his
cropped head. Let us mend our pace, and catch him up. --We shall have
to pull you by the cloak, and compel you to turn round, Adimantus;
you will take no notice of our shouts. You seem like one rapt in
contemplation; you are pondering on matters of no light import?

_Ad. _ Oh, it is nothing serious. An idle fancy, that came to me as I
walked, and engrossed my attention, so that I never heard you.

_Ly. _ And the fancy? Tell us without reserve, unless it is a very
delicate matter. And even if it is, you know, we have all been through
the Mysteries; we can keep a secret.

_Ad. _ No, I had rather not tell you; you would think it so childish.

_Ly. _ Can it be a love affair? Speak on; _those_ mysteries too are not
unknown to us; we have been initiated in full torchlight.

_Ad. _ Oh dear, no; nothing of that kind. --No; I was making myself an
imaginary present of a fortune--that 'vain, deluding joy,' as it has
been called; I had just reached the pinnacle of luxury and affluence
when you arrived.

_Ly. _ Then all I have to say is, 'Halves! ' Come, out with your wealth!
We are Adimantus's friends: let us share his superfluities.

_Ad. _ Well, I lost sight of you at once on the ship--the moment I
had got you safely up, Lycinus. I was measuring the thickness of the
anchor, and you disappeared somewhere. However, I went on and saw
everything, and then I asked one of the sailors how much the vessel
brought in to her owner in an average year. Three thousand pounds, he
said, was the lowest reckoning. So afterwards, on the way back, I was
thinking: Suppose some God took it into his head to make _me_ a present
of that ship; what a glorious life I should have of it, and my friends
too! Sometimes I could make the trip myself, at other times I could
send my men. On the strength of that three thousand, I had already
built myself a house, nicely situated just above the Poecile--I would
have nothing more to say to my ancestral abode on the banks of the
Ilissus,--and was in treaty for my wardrobe and slaves and chariots and
stable. And now behold me on board, the envy of every passenger, and
the terror of my crew, who regarded me as next thing to a king; I was
getting matters shipshape, and taking a last look at the port in the
distance, when up comes Lycinus, capsizes the vessel, just as she is
scudding before a wishing wind, and sends all my wealth to the bottom.

_Ly. _ Well, you are a man of spirit: lay hands on me, and away with
me to the governor, for the buccaneer that I am. A flagrant case of
piracy; on the high roads, too, between Athens and Piraeus. Stay,
though; perhaps we can compound the matter. What do you say to _five_
ships, larger and finer ones than your Egyptian; above all, warranted
not to sink? --each to bring you, shall we say, five cargoes of corn
per annum? Though I foresee that you will be the most unbearable of
shipowners when you have got them. The possession of this one made you
deaf to our salutations; give you five more--three-masters all of them,
and imperishable--and the result is obvious: you will not know your
friends when you see them. And so, good voyage to your worship; we will
establish ourselves at Piraeus, and question all who land from Egypt or
Italy, as to whether they came across Adimantus's great ship, the Isis,
anywhere.

_Ad. _ There now; that was why I refused to tell you about it at first;
I knew you would make a jest and a laughing-stock of my Wish. So now I
shall stop here till you have got on ahead, and then I shall go another
voyage on my ship. I like talking to my sailors much better than being
jeered at by you.

_Ly. _ That will never do. We shall hang about, and go on board too.

_Ad. _ I shall go on first, and haul up the gangway.

_Ly. _ Then we shall swim across and board you. You seem to think there
will be no difficulty about your acquiring these great ships without
building them or paying for them; why should not _we_ obtain from the
Gods the privilege of swimming for an indefinite distance without
getting tired? You made no objection to our company the other day, you
know, when we all went across together to Aegina, to see the rites of
Hecate, in that tiny little boat, at sixpence a head; and now you are
furious at the idea of our going on board with you; you go on ahead,
and haul up the gangway. You forget yourself, my Shipowner; you wax fat
and kick; you withhold from Nemesis her due. See what comes of houses
in fashionable quarters, and great retinues. Well, please remember to
bring us back some of those exquisite smoked fish from the Nile, or
some myrrh from Canopus, or an ibis from Memphis;--I suppose you would
scarcely have room for a pyramid?

_Ti. _ That is enough, Lycinus. Spare his blushes. You have quite
swamped his ship; she is laughter-logged, and can weather it no longer.
Now, we have still some distance before us; let us break it up into
four parts, and each have so many furlongs, in which he may demand of
the Gods what he will. This will lighten our journey, and amuse us into
the bargain; we shall revel in a delightful waking dream of unlimited
prosperity; for each of us will have full control of his own Wish, and
it will be understood that the Gods must grant everything, however
impracticable. Above all, it will give us an idea who would make the
best use of the supposed wealth; we shall see what kind of a man it
would have made of him.

_Sa. _ A good idea. I am your man; I undertake to wish when my turn
comes. We need not ask Adimantus whether he agrees; he has one foot on
board already. We must have Lycinus's sanction, however.

_Ly. _ Why, let us to our wealth, if so it must be. Where all is
prosperity, I would not be thought to cast an evil eye.

_Ad. _ Who begins?

_Ly. _ You; and then Samippus, and then Timolaus. I shall only want the
last hundred yards or so before the Gate for mine, and a quick hundred,
too.

_Ad. _ Well, I stick to my ship still; only I shall wish some more
things, as it is allowed. May the God of Luck say Yes to all! I will
have the ship, and everything in her; the cargo, the merchants, the
women, the sailors, and anything else that is particularly nice to have.

_Sa. _ You forget one thing you have on board--

_Ad. _ Oh, the boy with the hair; yes, him too. And instead of the
present cargo of wheat, I will have the same bulk of coined gold, all
sovereigns.

_Ly. _ Hullo! The ship will sink. Wheat and gold to the same bulk are
not of the same weight.

_Ad. _ Now, don't make envious remarks. When your turn comes, you can
have the whole of Parnes turned into a mass of gold if you like, and I
shall say nothing.

_Ly. _ Oh, I was only thinking of your safety. I don't want all hands to
go down with the golden cargo. It would not matter so much about us,
but the poor boy would be drowned; he can't swim.

_Ti. _ Oh, that will be all right. The dolphins will pick him up and get
him to shore. Shall a paltry musician be rescued by them for a song's
sake, a lifeless Melicertes be carried on their backs to the Isthmus,
and Adimantus's latest purchase find never an amorous dolphin at his
need?

_Ad. _ Timolaus, you are just as bad as Lycinus, with your superfluous
sneers. You ought to know better; it was all your idea.

_Ti. _ You should make it more plausible. Find a treasure under your
bed; that would save unloading the gold, and getting it up to town.

_Ad. _ Oh yes! It shall be dug up from under the Hermes in our court; a
thousand bushels of coined gold. Well; my first thought has been for
a handsome house,--'the homestead first and chiefest,' says Hesiod;
and my purchases in the neighbourhood are now complete; there remains
my property at Delphi, and the sea-front at Eleusis; and a little
something at the Isthmus (I might want to stop there for the games);
and the plain of Sicyon; and in short every scrap of land in the
country where there is nice shade, or a good stream, or fine fruit; I
reserve them all. We will eat off gold plate; and our cups shall weigh
100 lb. apiece; I will have none of the flimsy ware that appears on
Echecrates's table.

_Ly. _ I dare say!
And how is your cupbearer going to hand you a thing
of that weight, when he has filled it? And how will you like taking
it from him? It would tax the muscles of a Sisyphus, let alone a
cupbearer's.

_Ad. _ Oh, don't keep on picking holes in my Wish. I shall have tables
and couches of solid gold, if I like; and servants too, if you say
another word.

_Ly. _ Well, take care, or you will be like Midas, with nothing but
gold to eat and drink; and die of a right royal hunger, a martyr to
superabundance.

_Ad. _ Your turn will come presently, Lycinus, and then you can be as
realistic as you like. To proceed: I must have purple raiment, and
every luxury, and sleep as late as I like; with friends to come and
pay court to me, and every one bowing down to the ground; and they
will all have to wait about at my doors from early morning--the great
Cleaenetus and Democritus among them; oh yes, and when they come and
try to get in before every one else, seven great foreign giants of
porters shall slam the door in their faces, just as theirs do now.
And as soon as I feel inclined, I shall peep out like the rising sun,
and some of that set I shall simply ignore; but if there is some poor
man there, like me before I got the treasure, I shall have a kind word
for him: 'You must come and have dinner with me, after your bath; you
know my hour. ' The great men will all choke with envy when they see my
chariots and horses, and my handsome slaves--two thousand choice ones,
of all ages. Well, so the dinner service is to be of gold,--no silver
for me, it is much too cheap--and I shall have smoked fish from Spain;
wine from Italy; oil from Spain again; our own honey, but it must be
clarified without heat; delicacies from all quarters; wild boars;
hares; all sorts of birds, pheasants, Indian peacocks, Numidian capons;
and special cooks for everything, artists in sauce and seasoning. And
when I call for a beaker or goblet to pledge any one, he shall take it
home with him. As to the people who now pass for rich, they, I need
not say, will be paupers to me. Dionicus will give up displaying his
silver plate and cup in processions, when he sees that my slaves eat
off nothing but silver. I should set apart something for the public
service, too; a monthly distribution of £4 a head to citizens, and half
that to foreigners; and the most beautiful theatres and baths you can
imagine; and the sea should be brought along a great canal up to the
Double Gates, and there would be a harbour close by, so that my ship
could be seen lying at anchor from the Ceramicus. And of you who are my
friends, Samippus should have twenty bushels of coined gold paid out to
him by my steward; Timolaus, five quarts; and Lycinus one quart, strict
measure, because he talks too much, and sneers at my Wish. That is how
I would live; revelling in every luxury without stint, superlatively
rich. I have done. Hermes bring it all to pass!

_Ly. _ Have you realized on what a slender thread all this wealth
depends? Once let that break, and all is gone; your treasure is but
dust and ashes.

_Ad. _ How so?

_Ly. _ Why, it is not clear how long this life of affluence is to last.
Who knows? You may be sitting one day at your solid gold table, just
putting out your hand for a slice of that peacock or capon, when, at
that very moment, off flies _animula vagula_, and Adimantus after
her, leaving his all a prey to crows and vultures. Need I enumerate
instances? There have been rich men who have died before they knew what
it was to be rich; others have lived to be robbed of their possessions
by some malign spirit who waits upon wealth. The cases of Croesus and
Polycrates are familiar to you. Their riches were greater far than
yours; yet at one stroke they lost all. But leaving them out of the
case, do you consider that you have good security for the continuance
of your health? Look at the number of rich men whose lives are made
miserable by their infirmities: some are crippled, others are blind,
others have internal diseases. Say what you will, I am sure that for
double your wealth you would not consent to be a weakling like rich
Phanomachus; not to mention the artful designs, the robberies, the
envy, and the unpopularity that are inseparable from wealth. See what
troubles your treasure will land you in!

_Ad. _ You are always against me, Lycinus. I shall cancel your quart
now, for this last piece of spite.

_Ly. _ That is so like a rich man, to draw back and break his promise; a
good beginning! Now, Samippus, it is your turn to wish.

_Sa. _ Well, I am a landsman; I come from Mantinea, you know, in
Arcadia; so I shall not ask for a ship; I could make no show with
that in my country. Nor will I insult the generosity of the Gods by
asking for so much gold down. I understand there is no boon so great,
but their power and Timolaus's law can compass it; we are to wish
away without ceremony, he says,--they will refuse us nothing. Well
then, I wish to be a king. But I will not succeed to a hereditary
throne, like Alexander of Macedon, Ptolemy, Mithridates and the rest
of them. No, I will begin as a brigand, in a troop of thirty or so,
brisk companions ready at need. Then little by little we shall grow to
be 300; then 1,000, and presently 10,000; and at last we shall total
50,000 heavy-armed, and 5,000 horse. I shall be elected their chieftain
by general consent, having shown myself to be the best qualified for
the command and conduct of their affairs. Already, you see, I have
the advantage of ordinary kings: I am elected to the command on my
own merits; I am no hereditary monarch, reaping the fruits of my
predecessor's labours. That would be like Adimantus, with his treasure;
but there is much more satisfaction in knowing that your power is the
work of your own hands.

_Ly. _ Now really, this _is_ a Wish, and no mistake; the very acme of
blessedness; to be commander of that vast company, chosen on your own
merits by 50,000 men! A genius, a master of strategy and king-craft has
been quietly growing up in Mantinea, and we not a whit the wiser! But
I interrupt. Proceed, O King, at the head of your troops; dispose your
forces, infantry and cavalry. Whither, I wonder, goes this mighty host,
issuing from Arcadia? Who are to be the first victims?

_Sa. _ I'll tell you; or you can come with us, if you like. I will put
you in command of the cavalry.

_Ly. _ Why, as to that, your Majesty, I am much beholden to you for
the honour; accept my most oriental prostrations; and manuflexions.
But, with all respect to your diadem, and the perpendicularity of your
tiara, you would do well to take one of these stout fellows instead. I
am sadly deficient in horsemanship; indeed, I was never on a horse in
my life. I am afraid that when the trumpet sounded to advance, I might
fall off, and be trampled, in the general confusion, under some of
those numerous hoofs. Or again, my spirited charger might get the bit
between his teeth, and carry me right into the midst of the enemy. If
I am to remain in possession of saddle and bridle, I shall have to be
tied on.

_Ad. _ All right, Samippus, I will command the cavalry; Lycinus can have
the right wing. I have the first claim on you, after all those bushels
of sovereigns.

_Sa. _ Let us see what my troopers think of you for a leader. All in
favour of Adimantus, hold up their hands.

_Ad. _ All hands go up, look.

_Sa. _ You command the cavalry, then, and Lycinus the right wing.
Timolaus will have the left wing. I am in the centre, like the Persian
monarchs when they take the field in person. Well; after due observance
paid to Zeus, king of kings, we advance along the hill-road to Corinth.
Greece being now subjugated (for no resistance will be offered to our
enormous host, we shall merely walk over), we get our troops on to the
galleys, and the horses on to the transports (arrangements having been
made at Cenchreae for the requisite number of vessels, with adequate
provision and so on), cross the Aegean, and land in Ionia. Here we
sacrifice to Artemis, and finding the various cities unfortified,
take easy possession of them, put in governors, and march on in the
direction of Syria. On the way we pass through Caria, Lycia, Pamphylia,
Pisidia, the mountains and sea-board of Cilicia, and so at last reach
the Euphrates.

_Ly. _ If your Majesty has no objection, I will stay behind and be Pacha
of Greece. I am a poor-spirited fellow; to go all that way from home
is not to my liking at all. You evidently meditate an attack upon the
Parthians and Armenians, warlike folk, and unerring shots. Let some
one else have the right wing, and let me play Antipater here at home.
Some arrow, from the walls of Susa or Bactra, might find a chink in my
armour, and let daylight through me; and there would be a melancholy
end of my strategic career.

_Sa. _ Oh coward, to desert your post! The penalty for that is
decapitation. --We are now at the Euphrates, and have thrown our
bridge across. All is secured in our rear by the subordinates whom I
have placed in charge of the various districts; officers have also
been dispatched for the reduction of Phoenicia and Palestine, and,
subsequently, of Egypt. Now, Lycinus, you cross first, with the right
wing; I next, and Timolaus after me. Last comes Adimantus with the
cavalry. We have now crossed Mesopotamia, and no enemy has yet shown
himself; town after town has voluntarily given itself up; we reach
Babylon; we enter its gates without warning, and the city is ours. The
Persian king meanwhile is at Ctesiphon. He hears of our approach and
withdraws to Seleucia, where he proceeds to muster his full strength of
cavalry, bowmen, and slingers. Our scouts report that the force already
collected numbers something like a million, including two hundred
thousand mounted bowmen; and the Armenian, Caspian, and Bactrian
contingents are still to come; only the neighbouring districts, the
suburbs, as it were, of the empire, have contributed as yet. With such
ease does the Persian monarch raise a million of men! It is now time
for us to think what we are to do next.

_Ad. _ Well, I say that you should all march for Ctesiphon, leaving me
to secure Babylon with the cavalry.

_Sa. _ Are you going to show the white feather too, Adimantus, now that
the danger is near? --Timolaus, what is your advice?

_Ti. _ We must march upon the enemy in full force, before they have had
time to strengthen their hands with the reinforcements that are pouring
in from all quarters; let us engage them whilst they are still making
their several ways to Seleucia.

_Sa. _ There is something in that. What do you recommend, Lycinus?

_Ly. _ Well, we have all been on our legs till we are tired out; there
was the early walk down, and we must be a good three miles now on the
way home; and the sun is extremely powerful--it is just about noon: how
would it be to sit down for a bit on that ruined column under the olive
trees, till we are sufficiently restored to complete the journey?

_Sa. _ _O sancta simplicitas! _ Did you think that you were at Athens
all this time? You are in the plain before Babylon, in a great
camp,--engaged in a council of war.

_Ly. _ Why, so I am. I forgot; we are drunk, of course; it is against
rules to talk sense.

_Sa. _ Well, now, please, to the attack. Bear yourselves gallantly
in this hour of danger: be not less than Greeks. See, the enemy are
upon us. Our watchword is 'Lord of Battles. ' The moment the trumpet
sounds, raise the war-cry, clash spear upon shield, and lose no time
in coming to close quarters, out of danger of their arrows; otherwise
the bowmen will give us a warm reception. No sooner do we get to work
than Timolaus with his left wing routs their right; in the centre the
conflict is even; for I have the native Persian troops against me,
and the king is in their midst. The whole strength of their cavalry
bears down upon our right wing; play the man, therefore, Lycinus; and
encourage your troops to receive the charge.

_Ly. _ Just my luck! Every single trooper of them is making straight
for me, as if I were the only foeman worthy of their steel. If they
go on like this, I think I shall have to turn tail and make for the
gymnasium, and leave you to fight it out.

_Sa. _ Nonsense; you have almost beaten them already. Now, observe, the
king challenges me to single combat; honour forbids that I should draw
back; I accordingly engage him.

_Ly. _ To be sure; and are promptly wounded. No king should omit to
receive a wound, when empire is at stake.

_Sa. _ Well, yes; I do get just a scratch; it is well out of sight,
however, so the scar will be no disfigurement. On the other hand,
observe the fury of my charge: I send my spear through horse and rider
at one stroke; cut off the royal head; remove the diadem therefrom,
and am saluted as king with universal prostrations. That applies
only to the barbarians; from you who are Greeks I shall have merely
the usual title of commander-in-chief. You may imagine the rest: the
Samippopolises I shall found, the cities I shall storm and destroy for
slighting my supremacy. The wealthy Cydias will come in for the largest
share of my attention; I have not forgotten his gradual encroachments
on my property, in the days when we were neighbours.

_Ly. _ Stop there, Samippus; after such a victory, it is high time you
retired to Babylon, to keep festival. Three-quarters of a mile is your
allowance of dominion, as I reckon it. Timolaus now selects his wish.

_Sa. _ Well, tell me what you think of mine?

_Ly. _ It seems to me, most sapient monarch, to involve considerably
more trouble and annoyance than that of Adimantus. While he lives
luxuriously, and hands about gold cups--hundred-pounders--to his
guests, you are sustaining wounds in single combat. From morning till
night, all is worry and anxiety with you. You have not only the public
enemies to fear: there are the numberless conspiracies, the envy and
hatred of your courtiers; you have flatterers enough, but not one
friend; their seeming goodwill is the work of fear or ambition. As to
enjoyment, you can never dream of such a thing. You have to content
yourself with glory and gold embroidery and purple; with the victor's
garland, and the king's bodyguard; beyond these there is nothing but
intolerable toil and continual discomfort. You are either negotiating
with ambassadors, or judging cases, or issuing mandates to your
subjects. Here a tribe revolts: there an enemy invades. All is fear
and suspicion. The world may think you happy; but you know better. And
surely it is a very humiliating circumstance that you should be apt
to fall ill, just like ordinary people? Fevers seem not to understand
that you are a king; nor does Death stand in any awe of your bodyguard;
when the fancy takes him, he comes, and carries you off lamenting; what
cares he for the diadem? Fallen from your high estate, dragged from
your kingly throne, you go the same road as the rest of us; there is no
'benefit of royalty' among the timid flock of shades. You leave behind
you upon earth some massive tomb, some stately column, some pyramid
of noble outline; but it will be too late then for vanity to enjoy
these things; and the statues and temples, the offerings of obsequious
cities, nay, your great name itself, all will presently decay, and
vanish, and be of no further account. Take it at the best; let all
endure for ages: what will it profit your senseless clay? And it is
for this that you are to live uneasy days, ever scheming, fearing,
toiling! --Timolaus, the wish is with you. We shall expect better things
from your judgement and experience.

_Ti. _ See if you can find anything questionable or reprehensible in
what I propose. As to treasure-heaps and bushels of coin, I will have
none of them; nor monarchy, with the wars and terrors it involves.
You rightly censured such things, precarious as they are, exposed
to endless machinations, and bringing with them more vexation than
pleasure. No; my wish is that Hermes should appear and present me with
certain rings, possessed of certain powers. One should ensure its
wearer continual health and strength, invulnerability, insensibility
to pain. Another, like that of Gyges, should make me invisible. A
third should give me the strength to pick up with ease a weight that
ten thousand men could barely move. Then I must be able to fly to any
height above the earth; a ring for that. Again, I shall want to be able
to put people to sleep upon occasion; and at my approach all doors must
immediately fly open, all bolts yield, all bars withdraw. One ring may
secure these points. There remains yet one, the most precious of them
all; for with it on my finger I am the desire of every woman and boy,
ay, of whole nations; not one escapes me; I am in all hearts, on all
tongues. Women will hang themselves for the vehemence of their passion,
boys will go mad. Happy will those few be reckoned on whom I cast a
glance; and those whom I scorn will pine away for grief. Hyacinth,
Hylas, Phaon, will sink into insignificance beside me. And all this I
hold on no brief tenure; the limitations of human life are not for me.
I shall live a thousand years, ever renewing my youth, and casting off
the slough of old age every time I get to seventeen. --With these rings
I shall lack nothing. All that is another's is mine: for can I not open
his doors, put his guards to sleep, and walk in unperceived? Instead of
sending to India or to the Hyperboreans for their curiosities, their
treasures, their wines or their delicacies, I can fly thither myself,
and take my fill of all. The phoenix of India, the griffin, that winged
monster, are sights unknown to others: I shall see them. I alone shall
know the sources of the Nile, the lands that are uninhabited, the
Antipodes, if such there be, dwelling on the other side of the earth.
Nay, I may learn the nature of the stars, the moon, the sun itself; for
fire cannot harm me. And think of the joy of announcing the Olympian
victor's name in Babylon, on the day of the contest! or of having one's
breakfast in Syria, and one's dinner in Italy!