No More Learning

Mother, mother, yonder's Celadon in the walks.

_Mel_. Peace, wanton; you had best ring the bells for joy. Well,
I'll not meet him, because I know not which to offer him; yet he seems
to like the youngest best: I'll give him opportunity with her. Olinda,
do you make haste after me.

_Olin_. This is something hard though.

[_Exit_ MEL.

_Enter_ CELADON.

_Cel_. You see, ladies, the least breath of yours brings me to
you: I have been seeking you at your lodgings, and from thence came
hither after you.

_Sab_. 'Twas well you found us.

_Cel_. Found you! half this brightness betwixt you two was enough
to have lighted me; I could never miss my way: Here's fair Olinda has
beauty enough for one family; such a voice, such a wit, so noble a
stature, so white a skin! --

_Olin_. I thought he would be particular at last. [_Aside_.

_Cel_. And young Sabina, so sweet an innocence, such a rose-bud
newly blown. This is my goodly palace of love, and that my little
withdrawing room. A word, madam. --[_To_ SAB.

_Olin_. I like not this--[_Aside_. ] Sir, if you are not too
busy with my sister, I would speak with you.

_Cel_. I come, madam.

_Sab_. Time enough, sir; pray finish your discourse--and as you
were a saying, sir,--

_Olin_. Sweet sir,--

_Sab_. Sister, you forget, my mother bid you make haste.

_Olin_. Well, go you, and tell her I am coming.

_Sab_. I can never endure to be the messenger of ill news; but,
if you please, I'll send her word you won't come.

_Olin_. Minion, minion, remember this--[_Exit OLIN_.

_Sab_. She's horribly in love with you.

_Cel_. Lord, who could love that walking steeple! She's so high,
that every time she sings to me, I am looking up for the bell that
tolls to church. --Ha! give me my little fifth-rate, that lies so
snug. She! hang her, a Dutch-built bottom: She's so tall, there's no
boarding her. But we lose time--madam, let me seal my love upon
your mouth. [_Kiss_] Soft and sweet, by heaven! sure you wear
rose-leaves between your lips.

_Sab_. Lord, Lord, what's the matter with me! my breath grows so
short, I can scarce speak to you.

_Cel_. No matter, give me thy lips again, and I'll speak for
thee.

_Sab_. You don't love me--

_Cel_. I warrant thee; sit down by me, and kiss again,--She warms
faster than Pygmalion's image. [_Aside_]--[_Kiss_. ]--Ay
marry, sir, this was the original use of lips; talking, eating, and
drinking came in by and by.

_Sab_. Nay, pray be civil; will you be at quiet?

_Cel_. What, would you have me sit still, and look upon you, like
a little puppy-dog, that's taught to beg with his fore-leg up?

_Enter_ FLORIMEL.

_Flo_. Celadon the faithful! in good time, sir,--

_Cel_. In very good time, Florimel; for heaven's sake, help me
quickly.

_Flo_. What's the matter?

_Cel_. Do you not see? here's a poor gentlewoman in a swoon!
(Swoon away. ) I have been rubbing her this half hour, and cannot bring
her to her senses.

_Flo_. Alas! how came she so?

_Cel_. Oh barbarous! do you stay to ask questions? run, for
charity.

_Flo_. Help, help! alas! poor lady--[_Exit_ FLO.

_Sab_. Is she gone?

_Cel_. Ay, thanks be to my wit, that helped me at a pinch; I
thank heaven, I never pumpt for a lye in all my life yet.

_Sab_. I am afraid you love her, Celadon!

_Cel_. Only as a civil acquaintance, or so; but, however, to
avoid slander, you had best be gone before she comes again.

_Sab_. I can find a tongue as well as she.

_Cel_. Ay, but the truth is, I am a kind of scandalous person,
and for you to be seen in my company--stay in the walks, by this kiss
I'll be with you presently.

_Enter_ FLORIMEL _running_.

_Flo_. Help, help! --I can find nobody.

_Cel_. Tis needless now, my dear; she's recovered, and gone off;
but so wan and weakly,--

_Flo_. Umph! I begin to smell a rat. --What was your business here,
Celadon?

_Cel_. Charity, Christian charity; you saw I was labouring for
life with her.

_Flo_. But how came you hither? --Not that I care this, but only
to be satisfied. [_Sings_.

_Cel_. You are jealous, in my conscience!

_Flo_. Who, I jealous! --then I wish this sigh may be the last
that ever I may draw. [_Sighs_.

_Cel_. But why do you sigh, then?

_Flo_. Nothing but a cold, I cannot fetch my breath well. But
what will you say, if I wrote the letter you had, to try your faith?

_Cel_. Hey day! this is just the devil and the sinner; you lay
snares for me, and then punish me for being taken: Here's trying a
man's faith indeed! --What, do you think I had the faith of a stock, or
of a stone? Nay, an you go to tantalize a man--I love upon the square,
I can endure no tricks to be used to me.

[OLINDA _and_ SABINA _at the door peeping_.

_Olin_. and _Sab_. Celadon! Celadon!

_Flo_. What voices are those?

_Cel_. Some comrades of mine, that call me to play. --Pox on them,
they'll spoil all. [_Aside_.

_Flo_. Pray, let's see them.

_Cel_. Hang them, tatterdemallions! they are not worth your
sight. --Pray, gentlemen, begone; I'll be with you immediately.

_Sab_. No; we'll stay here for you.

_Flo_. Do your gentlemen speak with treble voices? I am resolved
to see what company you keep.

_Cel_. Nay, good my dear.

[_He lays hold of her to pull her back, she lays hold of_ OLINDA,
_by whom_ SABINA _holds; so that, he pulling, they all come
in_.

_Flo_. Are these your comrades? [Sings. ] _'Tis Strephon
calls, what would my love? _ Why do you not roar out, like a great
bass-viol, _Come follow to the myrtle-grove_. --Pray, sir, which
of these fair ladies is it, for whom you were to do the courtesy? for
it were unconscionable to leave you to them both:--What, a mans but a
man, you know.

_Olin_. The gentleman may find an owner.

_Sab_. Though not of you.

_Flo_. Pray, agree whose the lost sheep is, and take him.

_Cel_. 'Slife, they'll cry me anon, and tell my marks.

_Flo_. Troth, I pity your highness there; I perceive he has left
you for the little one: Methinks he should have been afraid to break
his neck, when he fell so high as from you to her.

_Sab_. Well, my drolling lady, I may be even with you.

_Flo_. Not this ten years, by the growth, yet.

_Sab_. Can flesh and blood endure this!

_Flo_. How now, my amazon _in decimo sexto_!

_Olin_. Do you affront my sister?

_Flo_. Ay; but thou art so tall, I think I shall never affront
thee.

_Sab_. Come away, sister; we shall be jeered to death else.
[_Exeunt_ OLIN. _and_ SAB.

_Flo_. Why do you look that way? You can't forbear leering after
the forbidden fruit. --But whene'er I take a wencher's word again!

_Cel_. A wencher's word! --Why should you speak so contemptibly
of the better half of mankind? I'll stand up for the honour of my
vocation.

_Flo_. You are in no fault, I warrant! --'Ware my busk[A].
[Footnote A: The now almost forgotten _busk_ was a small slip of
steel or wood, used to stiffen the stays. Florimel threatens to employ
it as a rod of chastisement. ]

_Cel_. Not to give a fair lady the lie, I am in fault; but
otherwise--Come, let us be friends, and let me wait on you to your
lodgings.

_Flo_. This impudence shall not save you from my table-book.
_Item_, A month more for this fault. [_They walk to the
door_.

_1 Sold. [within. ]_ Stand! --

_2 Sold_. Stand, give the word!

_Cel_. Now, what's the meaning of this, trow? --guards set!

_1 Sold_. Give the word, or you cannot pass:--These are they,
brother; let's in and seize them.

_The two Soldiers enter_.

_1 Sold_. Down with him!

_2 Sold_. Disarm him! _Cel_. How now, rascals? --
[_Draws, and beats one off, and catches the other_.
Ask your life, you villain.
_2 Sold_. Quarter! quarter!

_Cel_. Was ever such an insolence?

_2 Sold_. We did but our duty;--here we were set to take a
gentleman and lady, that would steal a marriage without the queen's
consent, and we thought you had been they. [_Exit Sold_.

_Flo_. Your cousin Philocles, and the princess Candiope, on my
life! for I heard the queen give private orders to Lysimantes, and
name them twice or thrice.

_Cel_. I know a score or two of madcaps here hard by, whom I can
pick up from taverns, and gaming-houses, and bordels; those I'll bring
to aid him,--Now, Florimel, there's an argument for wenching: Where
would you have had so many honest men together, upon the sudden, for a
brave employment?

_Flo_. You'll leave me then, to take my fortune?

_Cel_. No:--If you will, I'll have you into the places aforesaid,
and enter you into good company.

_Flo_. 'Thank you, sir; here's a key, will let me through this
back-door to my own lodgings.

_Cel_. If I come off with life, I'll see you this evening; if
not,--adieu, Florimel!

_Flo_. If you come not, I shall conclude you are killed; or
taken, to be hanged for a rebel to-morrow morning: and then I'll
honour your memory with a lampoon, instead of an epitaph.

_Cel_. No, no! I trust better in my fate: I know I am reserved to
do you a courtesy. [_Exit_ CEL.

[_As_ FLORIMEL _is unlocking the door to go out,_ FLAVIA
_opens it against her, and enters to her, followed by a Page_.

_Fla_. Florimel, do you hear the news?

_Flo_. I guess they are in pursuit of Philocles.

_Fla_. When Lysimantes came with the queen's orders,
He refused to render up Candìope;
And, with some few brave friends he had about him,
Is forcing of his way through all the guards.

_Flo_. A gallant fellow! --I'll in, will you with me? --
Hark! the noise comes this way!

_Fla_. I have a message from the queen to Lysimantes. --
I hope I may be safe among the soldiers.

_Flo_. Oh, very safe! --Perhaps some honest fellow in the tumult
may take pity of thy maidenhead, or so. --Adieu! [_Exit_ FLO.

_Page_. The noise comes nearer, madam.

_Fla_. I am glad on't. --This message gives me the opportunity of
speaking privately with Lysimantes.

_Enter_ PHILOCLES _and_ CANDIOPE, _with three Friends,
pursued by_ LYSIMANTES, _and Soldiers_.

_Lys_. What is it renders you thus obstinate? You have no hope of
flight, and to resist is full as vain.

_Phil_. I'll die rather than yield her up.

_Fla_. My lord!

_Lys_. How now? some new message from the queen? --
Retire a while to a convenient distance.

[_To the Soldiers_. LYS. _and_ FLAV. _whisper_.

_Lys_. O Flavia, 'tis impossible! the queen in love with Philocles!

_Fla_. I have suspected it before; but now
My ears and eyes are witnesses.
This hour I overheard her, to Asteria,
Making such sad complaints of her hard fate! --
For my part, I believe, you lead him back
But to his coronation.

_Lys_. Hell take him first!

_Fla_. Presently after this she called for me,
And bid me run, and, with strict care, command you,
On peril of your life, he had no harm:
But, sir, she spoke it with so great concernment,
Methought I saw love, anger, and despair,
All combating at once upon her face.

_Lys_. Tell the queen,--I know not what,
I am distracted so. --
But go, and leave me to my thoughts. --
[_Exit_ FLAVIA.
Was ever such amazing news,
Told in so strange and critical a moment? --
What shall I do? --
Does she love Philocles, who loves not her;
And loves not Lysimantes, who prefers her
Above his life? --What rests, but that I take
This opportunity, which she herself
Has given me, to kill this happy rival! --
Assist me, soldiers!

_Phil_. They shall buy me dearly.

_Cand_. Ah me, unhappy maid!

_Enter _CELADON, _with his Friends, unbuttoned and reeling_.

_Cel_. Courage, my noble cousin! I have brought A band of blades,
the bravest youths of Syracuse; Some drunk, some sober, all resolved
to run Your fortune to the utmost. --Fall on, mad boys!

_Lys_. Hold a little! --I'm not secure of victory against these
desperate ruffians.

_Cel_. No, but I'll secure you! They shall cut your throat
for such another word of them. Ruffians, quoth a'! call gamesters,
whoremasters, and drunkards, ruffians!

_Lys_. Pray, gentlemen, fall back a little.

_Cel_. O ho, are they gentlemen now with you! --Speak first to
your gentlemen soldiers to retire; And then I'll speak to my gentlemen
ruffians. [CEL. _signs to his party_. There's your disciplined
men now. --[_They sign, and the Soldiers retire on both sides_.
Come, gentlemen, let's lose no time: While they are talking, let's
have one merry main before we die, for mortality sake.

_1 Fr_. Agreed! here's my cloak for a table.

_2 Fr_. And my hat for a box.

[_They lie down and throw_.

_Lys_. Suppose I killed him!
'Twould but exasperate the queen the more:
He loves not her, nor knows he she loves him:--
sudden thought is come into my head,--
So to contrive it, that this Philocles,
And these his friends, shall bring to pass that for me,
Which I could never compass. --True, I strain
A point of honour; but then her usage to me--
It shall be so. --
Pray, Philocles, command your soldiers off;
As I will mine: I've somewhat to propose,
Which you perhaps may like.

_Can_. I will not leave him.

_Lys_. 'Tis my desire you should not.

_Phil_. Cousin, lead off your friends.

_Cel_. One word in your ear, coz:--Let me advise you, either make
your own conditions, or never agree with him: his men are poor rogues,
they can never stand before us.

[_Exeunt all but_ Lys. Phil. _and_ Cand.

_Lys_. Suppose some friend, ere night,
Should bring you to possess all you desire;
And not so only, but secure forever
The nation's happiness?

_Phil_. I would think of him,
As some god or angel.

_Lys_. That god or angel you and I may be to one another.
We have betwixt us
An hundred men; the citadel you govern:
What were it now to seize the queen?

_Phil_. O impiety! to seize the queen! --
To seize her, said you?

_Lys_. The word might be too rough,--I meant, secure her.

_Phil_. Was this your proposition? --
And had you none to make it to but me?

_Lys_. Pray hear me out, ere you condemn me! --
I would not the least violence were offered
Her person. Two small grants is all I ask;
To make me happy in herself, and you
In your Candiope.

_Cand_. And will not you do this, my Philocles? --
Nay, now my brother speaks but reason.

_Phil_. Interest makes all seem reason, that leads to it.
Interest, that does the zeal of sects create,
To purge a church, and to reform a state.

_Lys_. In short, the queen hath sent to part you two:--
What more she means to her, I know not.

_Phil_. To her, alas! --Why, will not you protect her?

_Lys_. With you I can; but where's my power alone?

_Cand_. You know she loves me not: You lately heard her,
How she insulted over me: How she
Despised that beauty, which you say I have. --
I see, she purposes my death.

_Phil_.