” said Holden,
with an abstracted smile.
with an abstracted smile.
Warner - World's Best Literature - v15 - Kab to Les
I have prayed for so
many nights, and sent gifts to Sheikh Badl's shrine so
often, that I know God will give us a - a man-child that
shall grow into a man. Think of this and be glad. My mother
shall be his mother till I can take him again, and the mullah of
the Pattan Mosque shall cast his nativity — God send he be born
in an auspicious hour! - and then and then thou wilt never
weary of me, thy slave. ”
« Since when hast thou been a slave, my queen ? ”
“Since the beginning — till this mercy came
to me,
How
could I be sure of thy love when I knew that I had been bought
with silver ? »
“Nay, that was the dowry. I paid it to thy mother. ”
“And she has buried it, and sits upon it all day long like a
hen. What talk is yours of dowry? I was bought as though I
had been a Lucknow dancing-girl instead of a child. ”
"Art thou sorry for the sale ? ”
“I have sorrowed; but to-day I am glad. Thou wilt never
cease to love me now? Answer, my king. ”
Never — never. No. "
“Not even though the mem-log — the white women of thy own
blood — love thee? And remember, I have watched them driving
in the evening; they are very fair. ”
“I have seen fire-balloons by the hundred; I have seen the
moon, and
then I saw no more fire-balloons.
Ameera clapped her hands and laughed. “Very good talk,"
she said. Then, with an assumption of great stateliness, “It is
enough. Thou hast my permission to depart—if thou wilt. ”
The man did not move. He was sitting on
a low red-lac-
quered couch, in a room furnished only with a blue-and-white
floor-cloth, some rugs, and a very complete collection of native
cushions. At his feet sat a woman of sixteen, and she was all-
but all the world in his eyes. By every rule and law she should
have been otherwise; for he was an Englishman and she a Mus-
sulman's daughter, bought two years before from her mother,
who being left without money, would have sold Ameera, shriek-
ing, to the Prince of Darkness, if the price had been sufficient.
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It was a contract entered into with a light heart.
But even
before the girl had reached her bloom she came to fill the greater
portion of John Holden's life. For her and the withered hag, her
mother, he had taken a little house overlooking the great red-
walled city, and found, when the marigolds had sprung up by the
well in the court-yard, and Ameera had established herself accord-
ing to her own ideas of comfort, and her mother had ceased
grumbling at the inadequacy of the cooking-places, the distance
from the daily market, and matters of housekeeping in general,
that the house was to him his home. Any one could enter his
bachelor's bungalow by day or night, and the life that he led
there was an unlovely one. In the house in the city, his feet
only could pass beyond the outer court-yard to the women's rooms;
and when the big wooden gate was bolted behind him he was
king in his own territory, with Ameera for queen. And there
was going to be added to his kingdom a third person, whose
arrival Holden felt inclined to resent. It interfered with his
perfect happiness. It disarranged the orderly peace of the house
that was his own. But Ameera was wild with delight at the
thought of it, and her mother not less so. The love of a man,
and particularly a white man, was at the best an inconstant
affair; but it might, both women argued, be held fast by a baby's
Bands. "And then, Ameera would always say — “then he will
Dever care for the white mem-log. I hate them all — I hate them
all. )
“He will go back to his own people in time,” said the mother;
but by the blessing of God, that time is yet afar off. ”
Holden sat silent on the couch, thinking of the future, and
his thoughts were not pleasant. The drawbacks of a double life
are manifold. The government, with singular care, had ordered
him out of the station for a fortnight on special duty, in the
place of a man who was watching by the bedside of a sick wife.
The verbal notification of the transfer had been edged by a
cheerful remark that Holden ought to think himself lucky in
being a bachelor and a free man. He came to break the news
to Ameera.
"It is not good,” she said slowly, “but it is not all bad.
There is my mother here, and no harm will come to me - unless
in deed I die of pure joy. Go thou to thy work, and think no
troublesome thoughts. When the days are done, I believe - nay,
I am sure.
And- and then I shall lay him in thy arms, and
,
»
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RUDYARD KIPLING
thou wilt love me forever. The train goes to-night — at mid-
night, is it not ? Go now, and do not let thy heart be heavy by
cause of me. But thou wilt not delay in returning! Thou wilt
not stay on the road to talk to the bold white mem-log! Come
back to me swiftly, my life! ”
As he left the court-yard to reach his horse, that was tethered
to the gate-post, Holden spoke to the white-haired old watchman
who guarded the house, and bade him under certain contingen-
cies dispatch the filled-up telegraph form that Holden gave him.
It was all that could be done; and with the sensations of a man
who has attended his own funeral, Holden went away by the
night mail to his exile. Every hour of the day he dreaded the
arrival of the telegram, and every hour of the night he pictured
to himself the death of Ameera. In consequence, his work for
the State was not of first-rate quality, nor was his temper towards
his colleagues of the most amiable. The fortnight ended with-
out a sign from his home; and torn to pieces by his anxieties,
Holden returned to be swallowed up for two precious hours by a
dinner at the club, wherein he heard, as a man hears in a swoon,
voices telling him how execrably he had performed the other
man's duties, and how he had endeared himself to all his asso-
ciates. Then he fled on horseback through the night with his
heart in his mouth. There was no answer at first to his blows
on the gate; and he had just wheeled his horse round to kick it
in, when Pir Khan appeared with a lantern and held his stirrup.
«Has aught occurred ? ” said Holden.
« The news does not come from my mouth, Protector of the
Poor, but — » He held out his shaking hand, as befitted the
bearer of good news who is entitled to a reward.
Holden hurried through the court-yard. A light burned in
the upper room. His horse neighed in the gateway, and he
heard a pin-pointed wail that sent all the blood into the apple of
his throat. It was a new voice, but it did not prove that Ameera
was alive.
“Who is there? ” he called up the narrow brick staircase.
There was a cry of delight from Ameera, and then the voice
of her mother, tremulous with old age and pride: “We be two
women and — the— man — thy son. ”
On the threshold of the room Holden stepped on
dagger that was laid there to avert ill-luck, and it broke at the
hilt under his impatient heel.
या
0
(
a naked
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"God is great! ” cooed Ameera in the half-light. « Thou hast
taken his misfortunes on thy head. ”
"Ay, but how is it with thee, life of my life?
Old woman,
how is it with her ? »
"She has forgotten her sufferings for joy that the child is
born. There is no harm; but speak softly,” said the mother.
“It only needed thy presence to make me all well,” said
Ameera. “My king, thou hast been very long away. What gifts
hast thou for me? Ah! ah! It is I that bring gifts this time.
Look, my life, look! Was there ever such a babe ? Nay, I am
too weak even to clear my arm from him. ”
“Rest, then, and do not talk. I am here, bachheri” [little
woman).
« Well said; for there is a bond and a heel-rope (peecharee]
between us now that nothing can break. Look — canst thou see
in this light? He is without spot or blemish. Never was such
a man-child. Ya illah! he shall be a pundit- no, a trooper of
the Queen. And my life, dost thou love me as well as ever,
though I am faint and sick and worn ? Answer truly. ”
« Yea. I love as I have loved, with all my soul.
Lie still,
pearl, and rest. ”
« Then do not go. Sit by my side here — so. Mother, the
lord of this house needs a cushion. Bring it. ”
There was an
almost imperceptible movement on the part of the new life that
lay in the hollow of Ameera's arm. "Aho! ” she said, her voice
breaking with love. “The babe is a champion from his birth.
He is kicking me in the side with mighty kicks. Was there ever
such a babe ? And he is ours to us— -thine and mine. Put thy
hand on his head; but carefully, for he is very young, and men
are unskilled in such matters. ”
Very cautiously Holden touched with the tips of his fingers
the downy head.
"He is of the Faith,” said Ameera; for, lying here in the
night-watches, I whispered the Call to Prayer and the Profession
of Faith into his ears. And it is most marvelous that he was
born upon a Friday, as I was born. Be careful of him, my life;
but he can almost grip with his hands. ”
Holden found one helpless little hand that closed feebly on
h is finger. And the clutch ran through his limbs till it settled
a bout his heart. Till then his sole thought had been for Ameera.
He began to realize that there was some one else in the world,
C
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XV-541
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8642
RUDYARD KIPLING
11
T
»
but he could not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. He
sat down to think, and Ameera dozed lightly.
“Get hence, sahib,” said her mother, under her breath. “It
is not good that she should find you here on waking. She must
be still. ”
“I go,” said Holden submissively. «Here be rupees.
See
that my baba gets fat and finds all that he needs. ”
The chink of the silver roused Ameera. “I am his mother,
and no hireling,” she said weakly. «Shall I look to him more or
less for the sake of money? Mother, give it back. I have borne
my lord a son. ”
The deep sleep of weakness came upon her almost before the
sentence was completed. Holden went down to the court-yard
very softly, with his heart at ease. Pir Khan, the old watchman,
was chuckling with delight.
« This house is now complete,” he said; and without fur-
ther comment thrust into Holden's hands the hilt of a sabre
worn many years ago, when Pir Khan served the Queen in the
police.
The bleat of a tethered goat came from the well-curb.
« There be two,” said Pir Khan — «two goats of the best. I
bought them, and they cost much money; and since there is no
birth-party assembled, their flesh will be all mine. Strike craft.
ily, sahib. 'Tis an ill-balanced sabre at the best. Wait till they
raise their heads from cropping the marigolds. ”
"And why? ” said Holden, bewildered.
“For the birth sacrifice. What else ? Otherwise the child,
being unguarded from fate, may die. The Protector of the Poor
knows the fitting words to be said. ”
Holden had learned them once, with little thought that he
would ever say them in earnest. The touch of the cold sabre
hilt in his palm turned suddenly to the clinging grip of the child
up-stairs, — the child that was his own son, — and a dread of loss
filled him.
« Strike! » said Pir Khan. "Never life came into the world
but life was paid for it. See, the goats have raised their heads.
Now! With a drawing cut! ”
Hardly knowing what he did, Holden cut twice as he mut-
tered the Mohammedan prayer that runs, “Almighty! In place
of this my son I offer life for life, blood for blood, head for
head, bone for bone, hair for hair, skin for skin. ” The waiting
f
»
## p. 8643 (#255) ###########################################
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8643
(
horse snorted and bounded in his pickets at the smell of the raw
blood that spurted over Holden's riding-boots.
“Well smitten! ” said Pir Khan, wiping the sabre. "A swords-
man was lost in thee. Go with a light heart, heaven-born. I
am thy servant, and the servant of thy son. May the Pres-
ence live a thousand years, and — the flesh of the goats is all
mine ? »
Pir Khan drew back richer by a month's pay.
Holden swung
himself into the saddle, and rode off through the low-hanging
wood smoke of the evening. He was full of riotous exultation,
alternating with a vast vague tenderness directed towards no
particular object, that made him choke as he bent over the neck
of his uneasy horse. “I never felt like this in my life," he
thought. “I'll go to the club and pull myself together. ”
A game of pool was beginning, and the room was full of
men. Holden entered, eager to get to the light and the com-
pany of his fellows, singing at the top of his voice,
(
>
« In Baltimore a-walking, a lady I did meet. '»
ISIN
tie
<< Did
19
"Did you ? ” said the club secretary from his corner.
she happen to tell you that your boots were wringing wet ?
Great goodness, man, it's blood! ”
“Bosh! ” said Holden, picking his cue from the rack. “May
I cut in ? It's dew. I've been riding through high crops. My
faith! my boots are in a mess, though!
TI
((
1
« And if it be a girl, she shall wear a wedding-ring;
And if it be a boy, he shall fight for his king;
With his dirk, and his cap, and his little jacket blue,
He shall walk the quarter-deck ) »
(
« Yellow on blue green next player,” said the marker mo-
notonously.
« (He shall walk the quarter-deck' — am I green, marker ? -
He shall walk the quarter-deck'-ouch! that's a bad shot! -
'as his daddy used to do! » »
"I don't see that you have anything to crow about,” said a
zealous junior civilian acidly. «The government is not exactly
pleased with your work when you relieved Sanders. ”
"Does that mean a wigging from headquarters?
” said Holden,
with an abstracted smile. “I think I can stand it. ”
»
## p. 8644 (#256) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
The talk beat up round the ever-fresh subject of each man's
work, and steadied Holden till it was time to go to his dark,
empty bungalow, where his butler received him as one who
knew all his affairs. Holden remained awake for the greater
part of the night, and his dreams were pleasant ones.
9
11
“How old is he now ? »
“Ya illah! What a man's question! He is all-but six weeks
old; and on this night I go up to the house-top with thee, my
life, to count the stars. For that is auspicious. And he was
born on
a Friday, under the sign of the Sun, and it has been
told to me that he will outlive us both and get wealth.
Can we
wish for aught better, beloved ? »
« There is nothing better. Let us go up to the roof, and thou
shalt count the stars — but a few only, for the sky is heavy with
cloud. ”
« The winter rains are late, and maybe they come out of sea-
son. Come, before all the stars are hid. I have put on my rich-
est jewels. ”
“Thou hast forgotten the best of all. ”
"Ai! Ours. He comes also. He has never yet seen the
skies. ”
Ameera climbed the narrow staircase that led to the flat roof.
The child, placid and unwinking, lay in the hollow of her right
arm, gorgeous in silver-fringed muslin, with a small skull-cap on
his head. Ameera wore all that she valued most: the diamond
nose-stud that takes the place of the Western patch in drawing
attention to the curve of the nostril, the gold ornament in the
centre of the forehead studded with tallow-drop emeralds and
flawed rubies, the heavy circlet of beaten gold that was fastened
round her neck by the softness of the pure metal, and the chink-
ing curb-patterned silver anklets hanging low over the rosy
ankle-bone. She was dressed in jade-green muslin, as befitted a
daughter of the Faith, and from shoulder to elbow and elbow to
wrist ran bracelets of silver tied with floss silk; frail glass ban-
gles slipped over the wrist in proof of the slenderness of the
hand, - and certain heavy gold bracelets that had no part in
her country's ornaments, but since they were Holden's gift, and
fastened with a cunning European snap, delighted her immensely.
They sat down by the low white parapet of the roof, over-
looking the city and its lights.
10
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"They are happy down there,” said Ameera. « But I do not
think that they are as happy as we. Nor do I think the white
nem-log are as happy. And thou ? ”
“I know they are not. ”
« How dost thou know ? »
"They give their children over to the nurses. "
“I have never seen that,” said Ameera, with a sigh; “nor
do I wish to see. Ahi! " --- she dropped her head on Holden's
shoulder-"I have counted forty stars, and I am tired. Look
at the child, love of my life. He is counting too. ”
The baby was staring with round eyes at the dark of the
heavens. Ameera placed him in Holden's arms, and he lay there
without a cry.
“What shall call him among ourselves ? » she said.
"Look! Art thou ever tired of looking? He carries thy very
eyes! But the mouth - »
"Is thine, most dear. Who should know better than I ? »
'Tis such a feeble mouth. Oh, so small! And yet it he
my heart between its lips. Give him to me now. He has been
too long away. ”
“Nay, let him lie: he has not yet begun to cry.
“When he cries thou wilt give him back, eh? What a man
of mankind thou art! If he cried he were only the dearer to
me. But, my life, what little name shall we give him ? »
The small body lay close to Holden's heart. It was utterly
helpless and very soft. He scarcely dared to breathe for fear of
crushing it. The caged green parrot, that is regarded as a sort
of guardian spirit in most native households, moved on its perch
and fluttered a drowsy wing.
« There is the answer,” said Holden. “Mian Mittu has
Spoken. He shall be the parrot. When he is ready he will talk
mightily and run about. Mian Mittu is the parrot in thy - in
the Mussulman tongue, is it not ? ”
“Why put me so far off ? ” said Ameera fretfully. “Let it be
like unto some English name – but not wholly. For he is mine. ”
“Then call him Tota, for that is likest English. ”
“Ay, Tota ! and that is still the parrot. Forgive me, my lord,
for a minute ago; but in truth he is too little to wear all the
weight of Mian Mittu for name. He shall be Tota-
our Tota
Hearest thou, O small one? Littlest, thou art Tota. ”
She touched the child's cheek, and he waking wailed, and it
was necessary to return him to his mother, w
11
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to us.
## p. 8646 (#258) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
with the wonderful rhyme of "Aré koko, Ja ré koko! ” which
says: -
“Oh, crow! Go, crow! Baby's sleeping sound,
And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only a penny a pound. ”
Reassured many times as to the price of those plums, Tota
cuddled himself down to sleep. The two sleek white well-bullocks
in the court-yard were steadily chewing the cud of their evening
meal; old Pir Khan squatted at the head of Holden's horse, his
police sabre across his knees, pulling drowsily at a big water-
pipe that croaked like a bull-frog in a pond. Ameera's mother
sat spinning in the lower veranda, and the wooden gate was shut
and barred. The music of a marriage procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
“I have prayed,” said Ameera after a long pause, with her
chin in her hand—“I have prayed two things. First, that I may
die in thy stead, if thy death is demanded; and in the second,
that I may die in the place of the child. I have prayed to the
Prophet and to Beebee Miriam. Thinkest thou either will hear ? »
"From thy lips who would not hear the lightest word?
“I asked for straight talk, and thou hast given me sweet talk.
Will my prayers be heard ? »
“How can I say? God is very good. ”
“Of that I am not sure.
Listen now.
When I die or the
child dies, what is thy fate? Living, thou wilt return to the
bold white mem-log, for kind calls to kind. ”
“Not always. ”
« With a woman, no.
With a man it is otherwise. Thou wilt
in this life, later on, go back to thine own folk. That I could
almost endure, for I should be dead. But in thy very death
thou wilt be taken away to a strange place and a paradise that
I do not know. ”
“Will it be paradise ? ”
"Surely; for what God would harm thee? But we two-I
and the child - shall be elsewhere; and we cannot come to thee,
nor canst thou come to us. In the old days, before the child
was born, I did not think of these things; but now I think of
them perpetually. It is very hard talk. ”
“It will fall as it will fall. To-morrow we do not know, but
to-day and love we know well. Surely we are happy now. ”
(
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woman.
»
* So happy that it were well to make our happiness assured.
And thy Beebee Miriam should listen to me; for she is also a
But then she would envy me. It is not seemly for
Inen to worship a woman. ”
Holden laughed aloud at Ameera's little spasm of jealousy.
"Is it not seemly? Why didst thou not turn me from wor-
ship of thee then ? »
“Thou a worshiper! And of me! My king, for all thy sweet
words, well I know that I am thy servant and thy slave, and the
dust under thy feet. And I would not have it otherwise. See ! »
Before Holden could prevent her she stooped forward and
touched his feet; recovering herself with a little laugh, she hugged
Tota closer to her bosom. Then, almost savagely:-
"Is it true that the bold white mem-log live for three times
the length of my life? Is it true that they make their marriages
not before they are old women ? ”
“They marry as do others — when they are women. ”
« “That I know; but they wed when they are twenty-five. Is
that true ? »
« That is true. ”
“Ya illah! At twenty-five! Who would of his own will take
a wife even of eighteen? She is a woman -aging every hour.
Twenty-five! I shall be an old woman at that age, and — those
mem-log remain young forever. How I hate them ! »
“What have they to do with us? ”
“I cannot tell. I know only that there may now be alive
on this earth a woman ten years older than I, who may come to
thee and take thy love ten years after I am an old woman,
gray-headed, and the nurse of Tota's son. That is unjust and
evil. They should die too. ”
“Now for all thy years thou art a child, and shalt be picked
up and carried down the staircase. ”
“ Tota! Have a care for Tota, my lord! Thou at least art as
foolish as any babe! » Ameera tucked Tota out of harm's way in
the hollow of her neck, and was carried down-stairs, laughing, in
Holden's arms, while Tota opened his eyes and smiled after the
manner of the lesser angels.
He was a silent infant; and almost before Holden could real-
ize that he was in the world, developed into a small gold-colored
godling, and unquestioned despot of the house overlooking the
city. Those were months of absolute happiness to Holden and
## p. 8648 (#260) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
Ameera,- happiness withdrawn from the world, shut in behind
the wooden gate that Pir Khan guarded. By day Holden did his
work, with an immense pity for such as were not so fortunate as
himself, and a sympathy for small children that amazed and
amused many mothers at the little station gatherings. At night-
fall he returned to Ameera — Ameera full of the wondrous doings
-
of Tota: how he had been seen to clap his hands together and
move his fingers with intention and purpose, which was manifestly
a miracle; how later he had of his own initiative crawled out of
his low bedstead on to the floor, and swayed on both feet for the
space of three breaths.
"And they were long breaths, for my heart stood still with
delight,” said Ameera.
Then he took the beasts into his councils,--the well-bullocks,
the little gray squirrels, the mongoose that lived in a hole near
the well, and especially Mian Mittu, the parrot, whose tail he
grievously pulled, and Mian Mittu screamed till Ameera and
Holden arrived.
"Oh, villain! Child of strength! This to thy brother on the
house-top! Tobah, tobah! Fie! fie! But I know a charm to
make him wise as Suleiman and Aflatoun. Now look,” said
Ameera. She drew from an embroidered bag a handful of
almonds. “See! we count seven. In the name of God! ”
She placed Mian Mittu, very angry and ruffled, on the top of
his cage; and seating herself between the babe and the bird,
cracked and peeled an almond less white than her teeth. This
is a true charm, my life: and do not laugh. See! I give the
parrot one half, and Tota the other. ” Mian Mittu, with careful
beak, took his share from between Ameera's lips, and she kissed
the other half into the mouth of the child, who ate it slowly,
with wondering eyes. “This I will do each day of seven, and
without doubt he who is ours will be a bold speaker and wise.
Eh, Tota, what wilt thou be when thou art a man and I am
gray-headed ? » Tota tucked his fat legs into adorable creases.
He could crawl, but he was not going to waste the spring of his
youth in idle speech. He wanted Mian Mittu's tail to tweak.
When he advanced to the dignity of a silver belt, - which,
with a magic square engraved on silver and hung round his neck,
made up the greater part of his clothing, --he staggered on a
perilous journey down the garden to Pir Khan, and proffered him
all his jewels in exchange for one little ride on Holden's horse.
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He had seen his mother's mother chaffering with peddlers in the
veranda. Pir Khan wept, set the untried feet on his own gray
head in sign of fealty, and brought the bold adventurer to his
mother's arms, vowing that Tota would be a leader of men ere
his beard was grown.
One hot evening, while he sat on the roof between his father
and mother, watching the never-ending warfare of the kites that
the city boys few, he demanded a kite of his own, with Pir
Khan to fly it, because he had a fear of dealing with anything
larger than himself; and when Holden called him a “spark,” he
rose to his feet and answered slowly, in defense of his new-found
individuality: "Hum 'park nahin hai. Hum admi hai) (I am
no spark, but a man).
The protest made Holden choke, and devote himself very seri-
ously to a consideration of Tota's future.
He need hardly have taken the trouble. The delight of that
life was too perfect to endure. Therefore it was taken away,
as many things are taken away in India, suddenly and without
warning. The little lord of the house, as Pir Khan called him,
grew sorrowful and complained of pains, who had never known
the meaning of pain. Ameera, wild with terror, watched him
through the night, and in the dawning of the second day the life
was shaken out of him by fever— the seasonal autumn fever.
It seemed altogether impossible that he could die; and neither
Ameera nor Holden at first believed the evidence of the body on
the bedstead. Then Ameera beat her head against the wall, and
would have fung herself down the well in the garden, had Hol-
den not restrained her by main force.
One mercy only was granted to Holden. He rode to his office
in broad daylight, and found waiting him an unusually heavy
mail that demanded concentrated attention and hard work. He
was not, however, alive to this kindness of the gods.
!
many nights, and sent gifts to Sheikh Badl's shrine so
often, that I know God will give us a - a man-child that
shall grow into a man. Think of this and be glad. My mother
shall be his mother till I can take him again, and the mullah of
the Pattan Mosque shall cast his nativity — God send he be born
in an auspicious hour! - and then and then thou wilt never
weary of me, thy slave. ”
« Since when hast thou been a slave, my queen ? ”
“Since the beginning — till this mercy came
to me,
How
could I be sure of thy love when I knew that I had been bought
with silver ? »
“Nay, that was the dowry. I paid it to thy mother. ”
“And she has buried it, and sits upon it all day long like a
hen. What talk is yours of dowry? I was bought as though I
had been a Lucknow dancing-girl instead of a child. ”
"Art thou sorry for the sale ? ”
“I have sorrowed; but to-day I am glad. Thou wilt never
cease to love me now? Answer, my king. ”
Never — never. No. "
“Not even though the mem-log — the white women of thy own
blood — love thee? And remember, I have watched them driving
in the evening; they are very fair. ”
“I have seen fire-balloons by the hundred; I have seen the
moon, and
then I saw no more fire-balloons.
Ameera clapped her hands and laughed. “Very good talk,"
she said. Then, with an assumption of great stateliness, “It is
enough. Thou hast my permission to depart—if thou wilt. ”
The man did not move. He was sitting on
a low red-lac-
quered couch, in a room furnished only with a blue-and-white
floor-cloth, some rugs, and a very complete collection of native
cushions. At his feet sat a woman of sixteen, and she was all-
but all the world in his eyes. By every rule and law she should
have been otherwise; for he was an Englishman and she a Mus-
sulman's daughter, bought two years before from her mother,
who being left without money, would have sold Ameera, shriek-
ing, to the Prince of Darkness, if the price had been sufficient.
(
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It was a contract entered into with a light heart.
But even
before the girl had reached her bloom she came to fill the greater
portion of John Holden's life. For her and the withered hag, her
mother, he had taken a little house overlooking the great red-
walled city, and found, when the marigolds had sprung up by the
well in the court-yard, and Ameera had established herself accord-
ing to her own ideas of comfort, and her mother had ceased
grumbling at the inadequacy of the cooking-places, the distance
from the daily market, and matters of housekeeping in general,
that the house was to him his home. Any one could enter his
bachelor's bungalow by day or night, and the life that he led
there was an unlovely one. In the house in the city, his feet
only could pass beyond the outer court-yard to the women's rooms;
and when the big wooden gate was bolted behind him he was
king in his own territory, with Ameera for queen. And there
was going to be added to his kingdom a third person, whose
arrival Holden felt inclined to resent. It interfered with his
perfect happiness. It disarranged the orderly peace of the house
that was his own. But Ameera was wild with delight at the
thought of it, and her mother not less so. The love of a man,
and particularly a white man, was at the best an inconstant
affair; but it might, both women argued, be held fast by a baby's
Bands. "And then, Ameera would always say — “then he will
Dever care for the white mem-log. I hate them all — I hate them
all. )
“He will go back to his own people in time,” said the mother;
but by the blessing of God, that time is yet afar off. ”
Holden sat silent on the couch, thinking of the future, and
his thoughts were not pleasant. The drawbacks of a double life
are manifold. The government, with singular care, had ordered
him out of the station for a fortnight on special duty, in the
place of a man who was watching by the bedside of a sick wife.
The verbal notification of the transfer had been edged by a
cheerful remark that Holden ought to think himself lucky in
being a bachelor and a free man. He came to break the news
to Ameera.
"It is not good,” she said slowly, “but it is not all bad.
There is my mother here, and no harm will come to me - unless
in deed I die of pure joy. Go thou to thy work, and think no
troublesome thoughts. When the days are done, I believe - nay,
I am sure.
And- and then I shall lay him in thy arms, and
,
»
(
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8640
RUDYARD KIPLING
thou wilt love me forever. The train goes to-night — at mid-
night, is it not ? Go now, and do not let thy heart be heavy by
cause of me. But thou wilt not delay in returning! Thou wilt
not stay on the road to talk to the bold white mem-log! Come
back to me swiftly, my life! ”
As he left the court-yard to reach his horse, that was tethered
to the gate-post, Holden spoke to the white-haired old watchman
who guarded the house, and bade him under certain contingen-
cies dispatch the filled-up telegraph form that Holden gave him.
It was all that could be done; and with the sensations of a man
who has attended his own funeral, Holden went away by the
night mail to his exile. Every hour of the day he dreaded the
arrival of the telegram, and every hour of the night he pictured
to himself the death of Ameera. In consequence, his work for
the State was not of first-rate quality, nor was his temper towards
his colleagues of the most amiable. The fortnight ended with-
out a sign from his home; and torn to pieces by his anxieties,
Holden returned to be swallowed up for two precious hours by a
dinner at the club, wherein he heard, as a man hears in a swoon,
voices telling him how execrably he had performed the other
man's duties, and how he had endeared himself to all his asso-
ciates. Then he fled on horseback through the night with his
heart in his mouth. There was no answer at first to his blows
on the gate; and he had just wheeled his horse round to kick it
in, when Pir Khan appeared with a lantern and held his stirrup.
«Has aught occurred ? ” said Holden.
« The news does not come from my mouth, Protector of the
Poor, but — » He held out his shaking hand, as befitted the
bearer of good news who is entitled to a reward.
Holden hurried through the court-yard. A light burned in
the upper room. His horse neighed in the gateway, and he
heard a pin-pointed wail that sent all the blood into the apple of
his throat. It was a new voice, but it did not prove that Ameera
was alive.
“Who is there? ” he called up the narrow brick staircase.
There was a cry of delight from Ameera, and then the voice
of her mother, tremulous with old age and pride: “We be two
women and — the— man — thy son. ”
On the threshold of the room Holden stepped on
dagger that was laid there to avert ill-luck, and it broke at the
hilt under his impatient heel.
या
0
(
a naked
## p. 8641 (#253) ###########################################
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(
(
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c
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1
"God is great! ” cooed Ameera in the half-light. « Thou hast
taken his misfortunes on thy head. ”
"Ay, but how is it with thee, life of my life?
Old woman,
how is it with her ? »
"She has forgotten her sufferings for joy that the child is
born. There is no harm; but speak softly,” said the mother.
“It only needed thy presence to make me all well,” said
Ameera. “My king, thou hast been very long away. What gifts
hast thou for me? Ah! ah! It is I that bring gifts this time.
Look, my life, look! Was there ever such a babe ? Nay, I am
too weak even to clear my arm from him. ”
“Rest, then, and do not talk. I am here, bachheri” [little
woman).
« Well said; for there is a bond and a heel-rope (peecharee]
between us now that nothing can break. Look — canst thou see
in this light? He is without spot or blemish. Never was such
a man-child. Ya illah! he shall be a pundit- no, a trooper of
the Queen. And my life, dost thou love me as well as ever,
though I am faint and sick and worn ? Answer truly. ”
« Yea. I love as I have loved, with all my soul.
Lie still,
pearl, and rest. ”
« Then do not go. Sit by my side here — so. Mother, the
lord of this house needs a cushion. Bring it. ”
There was an
almost imperceptible movement on the part of the new life that
lay in the hollow of Ameera's arm. "Aho! ” she said, her voice
breaking with love. “The babe is a champion from his birth.
He is kicking me in the side with mighty kicks. Was there ever
such a babe ? And he is ours to us— -thine and mine. Put thy
hand on his head; but carefully, for he is very young, and men
are unskilled in such matters. ”
Very cautiously Holden touched with the tips of his fingers
the downy head.
"He is of the Faith,” said Ameera; for, lying here in the
night-watches, I whispered the Call to Prayer and the Profession
of Faith into his ears. And it is most marvelous that he was
born upon a Friday, as I was born. Be careful of him, my life;
but he can almost grip with his hands. ”
Holden found one helpless little hand that closed feebly on
h is finger. And the clutch ran through his limbs till it settled
a bout his heart. Till then his sole thought had been for Ameera.
He began to realize that there was some one else in the world,
C
1
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XV-541
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8642
RUDYARD KIPLING
11
T
»
but he could not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. He
sat down to think, and Ameera dozed lightly.
“Get hence, sahib,” said her mother, under her breath. “It
is not good that she should find you here on waking. She must
be still. ”
“I go,” said Holden submissively. «Here be rupees.
See
that my baba gets fat and finds all that he needs. ”
The chink of the silver roused Ameera. “I am his mother,
and no hireling,” she said weakly. «Shall I look to him more or
less for the sake of money? Mother, give it back. I have borne
my lord a son. ”
The deep sleep of weakness came upon her almost before the
sentence was completed. Holden went down to the court-yard
very softly, with his heart at ease. Pir Khan, the old watchman,
was chuckling with delight.
« This house is now complete,” he said; and without fur-
ther comment thrust into Holden's hands the hilt of a sabre
worn many years ago, when Pir Khan served the Queen in the
police.
The bleat of a tethered goat came from the well-curb.
« There be two,” said Pir Khan — «two goats of the best. I
bought them, and they cost much money; and since there is no
birth-party assembled, their flesh will be all mine. Strike craft.
ily, sahib. 'Tis an ill-balanced sabre at the best. Wait till they
raise their heads from cropping the marigolds. ”
"And why? ” said Holden, bewildered.
“For the birth sacrifice. What else ? Otherwise the child,
being unguarded from fate, may die. The Protector of the Poor
knows the fitting words to be said. ”
Holden had learned them once, with little thought that he
would ever say them in earnest. The touch of the cold sabre
hilt in his palm turned suddenly to the clinging grip of the child
up-stairs, — the child that was his own son, — and a dread of loss
filled him.
« Strike! » said Pir Khan. "Never life came into the world
but life was paid for it. See, the goats have raised their heads.
Now! With a drawing cut! ”
Hardly knowing what he did, Holden cut twice as he mut-
tered the Mohammedan prayer that runs, “Almighty! In place
of this my son I offer life for life, blood for blood, head for
head, bone for bone, hair for hair, skin for skin. ” The waiting
f
»
## p. 8643 (#255) ###########################################
RUDYARD KIPLING
8643
(
horse snorted and bounded in his pickets at the smell of the raw
blood that spurted over Holden's riding-boots.
“Well smitten! ” said Pir Khan, wiping the sabre. "A swords-
man was lost in thee. Go with a light heart, heaven-born. I
am thy servant, and the servant of thy son. May the Pres-
ence live a thousand years, and — the flesh of the goats is all
mine ? »
Pir Khan drew back richer by a month's pay.
Holden swung
himself into the saddle, and rode off through the low-hanging
wood smoke of the evening. He was full of riotous exultation,
alternating with a vast vague tenderness directed towards no
particular object, that made him choke as he bent over the neck
of his uneasy horse. “I never felt like this in my life," he
thought. “I'll go to the club and pull myself together. ”
A game of pool was beginning, and the room was full of
men. Holden entered, eager to get to the light and the com-
pany of his fellows, singing at the top of his voice,
(
>
« In Baltimore a-walking, a lady I did meet. '»
ISIN
tie
<< Did
19
"Did you ? ” said the club secretary from his corner.
she happen to tell you that your boots were wringing wet ?
Great goodness, man, it's blood! ”
“Bosh! ” said Holden, picking his cue from the rack. “May
I cut in ? It's dew. I've been riding through high crops. My
faith! my boots are in a mess, though!
TI
((
1
« And if it be a girl, she shall wear a wedding-ring;
And if it be a boy, he shall fight for his king;
With his dirk, and his cap, and his little jacket blue,
He shall walk the quarter-deck ) »
(
« Yellow on blue green next player,” said the marker mo-
notonously.
« (He shall walk the quarter-deck' — am I green, marker ? -
He shall walk the quarter-deck'-ouch! that's a bad shot! -
'as his daddy used to do! » »
"I don't see that you have anything to crow about,” said a
zealous junior civilian acidly. «The government is not exactly
pleased with your work when you relieved Sanders. ”
"Does that mean a wigging from headquarters?
” said Holden,
with an abstracted smile. “I think I can stand it. ”
»
## p. 8644 (#256) ###########################################
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RUDYARD KIPLING
The talk beat up round the ever-fresh subject of each man's
work, and steadied Holden till it was time to go to his dark,
empty bungalow, where his butler received him as one who
knew all his affairs. Holden remained awake for the greater
part of the night, and his dreams were pleasant ones.
9
11
“How old is he now ? »
“Ya illah! What a man's question! He is all-but six weeks
old; and on this night I go up to the house-top with thee, my
life, to count the stars. For that is auspicious. And he was
born on
a Friday, under the sign of the Sun, and it has been
told to me that he will outlive us both and get wealth.
Can we
wish for aught better, beloved ? »
« There is nothing better. Let us go up to the roof, and thou
shalt count the stars — but a few only, for the sky is heavy with
cloud. ”
« The winter rains are late, and maybe they come out of sea-
son. Come, before all the stars are hid. I have put on my rich-
est jewels. ”
“Thou hast forgotten the best of all. ”
"Ai! Ours. He comes also. He has never yet seen the
skies. ”
Ameera climbed the narrow staircase that led to the flat roof.
The child, placid and unwinking, lay in the hollow of her right
arm, gorgeous in silver-fringed muslin, with a small skull-cap on
his head. Ameera wore all that she valued most: the diamond
nose-stud that takes the place of the Western patch in drawing
attention to the curve of the nostril, the gold ornament in the
centre of the forehead studded with tallow-drop emeralds and
flawed rubies, the heavy circlet of beaten gold that was fastened
round her neck by the softness of the pure metal, and the chink-
ing curb-patterned silver anklets hanging low over the rosy
ankle-bone. She was dressed in jade-green muslin, as befitted a
daughter of the Faith, and from shoulder to elbow and elbow to
wrist ran bracelets of silver tied with floss silk; frail glass ban-
gles slipped over the wrist in proof of the slenderness of the
hand, - and certain heavy gold bracelets that had no part in
her country's ornaments, but since they were Holden's gift, and
fastened with a cunning European snap, delighted her immensely.
They sat down by the low white parapet of the roof, over-
looking the city and its lights.
10
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.
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"They are happy down there,” said Ameera. « But I do not
think that they are as happy as we. Nor do I think the white
nem-log are as happy. And thou ? ”
“I know they are not. ”
« How dost thou know ? »
"They give their children over to the nurses. "
“I have never seen that,” said Ameera, with a sigh; “nor
do I wish to see. Ahi! " --- she dropped her head on Holden's
shoulder-"I have counted forty stars, and I am tired. Look
at the child, love of my life. He is counting too. ”
The baby was staring with round eyes at the dark of the
heavens. Ameera placed him in Holden's arms, and he lay there
without a cry.
“What shall call him among ourselves ? » she said.
"Look! Art thou ever tired of looking? He carries thy very
eyes! But the mouth - »
"Is thine, most dear. Who should know better than I ? »
'Tis such a feeble mouth. Oh, so small! And yet it he
my heart between its lips. Give him to me now. He has been
too long away. ”
“Nay, let him lie: he has not yet begun to cry.
“When he cries thou wilt give him back, eh? What a man
of mankind thou art! If he cried he were only the dearer to
me. But, my life, what little name shall we give him ? »
The small body lay close to Holden's heart. It was utterly
helpless and very soft. He scarcely dared to breathe for fear of
crushing it. The caged green parrot, that is regarded as a sort
of guardian spirit in most native households, moved on its perch
and fluttered a drowsy wing.
« There is the answer,” said Holden. “Mian Mittu has
Spoken. He shall be the parrot. When he is ready he will talk
mightily and run about. Mian Mittu is the parrot in thy - in
the Mussulman tongue, is it not ? ”
“Why put me so far off ? ” said Ameera fretfully. “Let it be
like unto some English name – but not wholly. For he is mine. ”
“Then call him Tota, for that is likest English. ”
“Ay, Tota ! and that is still the parrot. Forgive me, my lord,
for a minute ago; but in truth he is too little to wear all the
weight of Mian Mittu for name. He shall be Tota-
our Tota
Hearest thou, O small one? Littlest, thou art Tota. ”
She touched the child's cheek, and he waking wailed, and it
was necessary to return him to his mother, w
11
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to us.
## p. 8646 (#258) ###########################################
8646
RUDYARD KIPLING
with the wonderful rhyme of "Aré koko, Ja ré koko! ” which
says: -
“Oh, crow! Go, crow! Baby's sleeping sound,
And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.
Only a penny a pound, Baba — only a penny a pound. ”
Reassured many times as to the price of those plums, Tota
cuddled himself down to sleep. The two sleek white well-bullocks
in the court-yard were steadily chewing the cud of their evening
meal; old Pir Khan squatted at the head of Holden's horse, his
police sabre across his knees, pulling drowsily at a big water-
pipe that croaked like a bull-frog in a pond. Ameera's mother
sat spinning in the lower veranda, and the wooden gate was shut
and barred. The music of a marriage procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of flying-
foxes crossed the face of the low moon.
“I have prayed,” said Ameera after a long pause, with her
chin in her hand—“I have prayed two things. First, that I may
die in thy stead, if thy death is demanded; and in the second,
that I may die in the place of the child. I have prayed to the
Prophet and to Beebee Miriam. Thinkest thou either will hear ? »
"From thy lips who would not hear the lightest word?
“I asked for straight talk, and thou hast given me sweet talk.
Will my prayers be heard ? »
“How can I say? God is very good. ”
“Of that I am not sure.
Listen now.
When I die or the
child dies, what is thy fate? Living, thou wilt return to the
bold white mem-log, for kind calls to kind. ”
“Not always. ”
« With a woman, no.
With a man it is otherwise. Thou wilt
in this life, later on, go back to thine own folk. That I could
almost endure, for I should be dead. But in thy very death
thou wilt be taken away to a strange place and a paradise that
I do not know. ”
“Will it be paradise ? ”
"Surely; for what God would harm thee? But we two-I
and the child - shall be elsewhere; and we cannot come to thee,
nor canst thou come to us. In the old days, before the child
was born, I did not think of these things; but now I think of
them perpetually. It is very hard talk. ”
“It will fall as it will fall. To-morrow we do not know, but
to-day and love we know well. Surely we are happy now. ”
(
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RUDYARD KIPLING
8647
woman.
»
* So happy that it were well to make our happiness assured.
And thy Beebee Miriam should listen to me; for she is also a
But then she would envy me. It is not seemly for
Inen to worship a woman. ”
Holden laughed aloud at Ameera's little spasm of jealousy.
"Is it not seemly? Why didst thou not turn me from wor-
ship of thee then ? »
“Thou a worshiper! And of me! My king, for all thy sweet
words, well I know that I am thy servant and thy slave, and the
dust under thy feet. And I would not have it otherwise. See ! »
Before Holden could prevent her she stooped forward and
touched his feet; recovering herself with a little laugh, she hugged
Tota closer to her bosom. Then, almost savagely:-
"Is it true that the bold white mem-log live for three times
the length of my life? Is it true that they make their marriages
not before they are old women ? ”
“They marry as do others — when they are women. ”
« “That I know; but they wed when they are twenty-five. Is
that true ? »
« That is true. ”
“Ya illah! At twenty-five! Who would of his own will take
a wife even of eighteen? She is a woman -aging every hour.
Twenty-five! I shall be an old woman at that age, and — those
mem-log remain young forever. How I hate them ! »
“What have they to do with us? ”
“I cannot tell. I know only that there may now be alive
on this earth a woman ten years older than I, who may come to
thee and take thy love ten years after I am an old woman,
gray-headed, and the nurse of Tota's son. That is unjust and
evil. They should die too. ”
“Now for all thy years thou art a child, and shalt be picked
up and carried down the staircase. ”
“ Tota! Have a care for Tota, my lord! Thou at least art as
foolish as any babe! » Ameera tucked Tota out of harm's way in
the hollow of her neck, and was carried down-stairs, laughing, in
Holden's arms, while Tota opened his eyes and smiled after the
manner of the lesser angels.
He was a silent infant; and almost before Holden could real-
ize that he was in the world, developed into a small gold-colored
godling, and unquestioned despot of the house overlooking the
city. Those were months of absolute happiness to Holden and
## p. 8648 (#260) ###########################################
8648
RUDYARD KIPLING
Ameera,- happiness withdrawn from the world, shut in behind
the wooden gate that Pir Khan guarded. By day Holden did his
work, with an immense pity for such as were not so fortunate as
himself, and a sympathy for small children that amazed and
amused many mothers at the little station gatherings. At night-
fall he returned to Ameera — Ameera full of the wondrous doings
-
of Tota: how he had been seen to clap his hands together and
move his fingers with intention and purpose, which was manifestly
a miracle; how later he had of his own initiative crawled out of
his low bedstead on to the floor, and swayed on both feet for the
space of three breaths.
"And they were long breaths, for my heart stood still with
delight,” said Ameera.
Then he took the beasts into his councils,--the well-bullocks,
the little gray squirrels, the mongoose that lived in a hole near
the well, and especially Mian Mittu, the parrot, whose tail he
grievously pulled, and Mian Mittu screamed till Ameera and
Holden arrived.
"Oh, villain! Child of strength! This to thy brother on the
house-top! Tobah, tobah! Fie! fie! But I know a charm to
make him wise as Suleiman and Aflatoun. Now look,” said
Ameera. She drew from an embroidered bag a handful of
almonds. “See! we count seven. In the name of God! ”
She placed Mian Mittu, very angry and ruffled, on the top of
his cage; and seating herself between the babe and the bird,
cracked and peeled an almond less white than her teeth. This
is a true charm, my life: and do not laugh. See! I give the
parrot one half, and Tota the other. ” Mian Mittu, with careful
beak, took his share from between Ameera's lips, and she kissed
the other half into the mouth of the child, who ate it slowly,
with wondering eyes. “This I will do each day of seven, and
without doubt he who is ours will be a bold speaker and wise.
Eh, Tota, what wilt thou be when thou art a man and I am
gray-headed ? » Tota tucked his fat legs into adorable creases.
He could crawl, but he was not going to waste the spring of his
youth in idle speech. He wanted Mian Mittu's tail to tweak.
When he advanced to the dignity of a silver belt, - which,
with a magic square engraved on silver and hung round his neck,
made up the greater part of his clothing, --he staggered on a
perilous journey down the garden to Pir Khan, and proffered him
all his jewels in exchange for one little ride on Holden's horse.
4
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He had seen his mother's mother chaffering with peddlers in the
veranda. Pir Khan wept, set the untried feet on his own gray
head in sign of fealty, and brought the bold adventurer to his
mother's arms, vowing that Tota would be a leader of men ere
his beard was grown.
One hot evening, while he sat on the roof between his father
and mother, watching the never-ending warfare of the kites that
the city boys few, he demanded a kite of his own, with Pir
Khan to fly it, because he had a fear of dealing with anything
larger than himself; and when Holden called him a “spark,” he
rose to his feet and answered slowly, in defense of his new-found
individuality: "Hum 'park nahin hai. Hum admi hai) (I am
no spark, but a man).
The protest made Holden choke, and devote himself very seri-
ously to a consideration of Tota's future.
He need hardly have taken the trouble. The delight of that
life was too perfect to endure. Therefore it was taken away,
as many things are taken away in India, suddenly and without
warning. The little lord of the house, as Pir Khan called him,
grew sorrowful and complained of pains, who had never known
the meaning of pain. Ameera, wild with terror, watched him
through the night, and in the dawning of the second day the life
was shaken out of him by fever— the seasonal autumn fever.
It seemed altogether impossible that he could die; and neither
Ameera nor Holden at first believed the evidence of the body on
the bedstead. Then Ameera beat her head against the wall, and
would have fung herself down the well in the garden, had Hol-
den not restrained her by main force.
One mercy only was granted to Holden. He rode to his office
in broad daylight, and found waiting him an unusually heavy
mail that demanded concentrated attention and hard work. He
was not, however, alive to this kindness of the gods.
!
