It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breaking
wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant relief
in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural action, an
initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth living.
wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant relief
in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural action, an
initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth living.
James Joyce - Ulysses
Denis Florence M'Carthy's
_Poetical Works_ (copper beechleaf bookmark at p. 5). Shakespeare's
_Works_ (dark crimson morocco, goldtooled).
_The Useful Ready Reckoner_ (brown cloth).
_The Secret History of the Court of Charles II_ (red cloth, tooled
binding). _The Child's Guide_ (blue cloth).
_The Beauties of Killarney_ (wrappers).
_When We Were Boys_ by William O'Brien M. P. (green cloth, slightly
faded, envelope bookmark at p. 217).
_Thoughts from Spinoza_ (maroon leather).
_The Story of the Heavens_ by Sir Robert Ball (blue cloth). Ellis's
_Three Trips to Madagascar_ (brown cloth, title obliterated).
_The Stark-Munro Letters_ by A. Conan Doyle, property of the City of
Dublin Public Library, 106 Capel street, lent 21 May (Whitsun Eve) 1904,
due 4 June 1904, 13 days overdue (black cloth binding, bearing white
letternumber ticket).
_Voyages in China_ by "Viator" (recovered with brown paper, red ink
title).
_Philosophy of the Talmud_ (sewn pamphlet). Lockhart's _Life of
Napoleon_ (cover wanting, marginal annotations, minimising victories,
aggrandising defeats of the protagonist).
_Soll und Haben_ by Gustav Freytag (black boards, Gothic characters,
cigarette coupon bookmark at p. 24). Hozier's _History of the
Russo-Turkish War_ (brown cloth, a volumes, with gummed label, Garrison
Library, Governor's Parade, Gibraltar, on verso of cover).
_Laurence Bloomfield in Ireland_ by William Allingham (second edition,
green cloth, gilt trefoil design, previous owner's name on recto of
flyleaf erased).
_A Handbook of Astronomy_ (cover, brown leather, detached, S plates,
antique letterpress long primer, author's footnotes nonpareil, marginal
clues brevier, captions small pica).
_The Hidden Life of Christ_ (black boards).
_In the Track of the Sun_ (yellow cloth, titlepage missing, recurrent
title intestation).
_Physical Strength and How to Obtain It_ by Eugen Sandow (red cloth).
_Short but yet Plain Elements of Geometry_ written in French by F.
Ignat. Pardies and rendered into English by John Harris D. D. London,
printed for R. Knaplock at the Bifhop's Head, MDCCXI, with dedicatory
epiftle to his worthy friend Charles Cox, efquire, Member of Parliament
for the burgh of Southwark and having ink calligraphed statement on the
flyleaf certifying that the book was the property of Michael Gallagher,
dated this 10th day of May 1822 and requefting the perfon who should
find it, if the book should be loft or go aftray, to reftore it to
Michael Gallagher, carpenter, Dufery Gate, Ennifcorthy, county Wicklow,
the fineft place in the world.
What reflections occupied his mind during the process of reversion of
the inverted volumes?
The necessity of order, a place for everything and everything in its
place: the deficient appreciation of literature possessed by females:
the incongruity of an apple incuneated in a tumbler and of an umbrella
inclined in a closestool: the insecurity of hiding any secret document
behind, beneath or between the pages of a book.
Which volume was the largest in bulk?
Hozier's _History of the Russo-Turkish war. _
What among other data did the second volume of the work in question
contain?
The name of a decisive battle (forgotten), frequently remembered by a
decisive officer, major Brian Cooper Tweedy (remembered).
Why, firstly and secondly, did he not consult the work in question?
Firstly, in order to exercise mnemotechnic: secondly, because after an
interval of amnesia, when, seated at the central table, about to consult
the work in question, he remembered by mnemotechnic the name of the
military engagement, Plevna.
What caused him consolation in his sitting posture?
The candour, nudity, pose, tranquility, youth, grace, sex, counsel of a
statue erect in the centre of the table, an image of Narcissus purchased
by auction from P. A. Wren, 9 Bachelor's Walk.
What caused him irritation in his sitting posture? Inhibitory pressure
of collar (size 17) and waistcoat (5 buttons), two articles of clothing
superfluous in the costume of mature males and inelastic to alterations
of mass by expansion.
How was the irritation allayed?
He removed his collar, with contained black necktie and collapsible
stud, from his neck to a position on the left of the table. He
unbuttoned successively in reversed direction waistcoat, trousers, shirt
and vest along the medial line of irregular incrispated black hairs
extending in triangular convergence from the pelvic basin over the
circumference of the abdomen and umbilicular fossicle along the medial
line of nodes to the intersection of the sixth pectoral vertebrae,
thence produced both ways at right angles and terminating in circles
described about two equidistant points, right and left, on the summits
of the mammary prominences. He unbraced successively each of six minus
one braced trouser buttons, arranged in pairs, of which one incomplete.
What involuntary actions followed?
He compressed between 2 fingers the flesh circumjacent to a cicatrice in
the left infracostal region below the diaphragm resulting from a sting
inflicted 2 weeks and 3 days previously (23 May 1904) by a bee.
He scratched imprecisely with his right hand, though insensible of
prurition, various points and surfaces of his partly exposed, wholly
abluted skin. He inserted his left hand into the left lower pocket of
his waistcoat and extracted and replaced a silver coin (I shilling),
placed there (presumably) on the occasion (17 October 1903) of the
interment of Mrs Emily Sinico, Sydney Parade.
Compile the budget for 16 June 1904. DEBIT
1 Pork Kidney
1 Copy FREEMAN'S JOURNAL
1 Bath And Gratification
Tramfare
1 In Memoriam Patrick Dignam
2 Banbury cakes
1 Lunch
1 Renewal fee for book
1 Packet Notepaper and Envelopes
1 Dinner and Gratification
1 Postal Order and Stamp
Tramfare
1 Pig's Foot
1 Sheep's Trotter
1 Cake Fry's Plain Chocolate
1 Square Soda Bread
1 Coffee and Bun
Loan (Stephen Dedalus) refunded
BALANCE
L. s. d.
0--0--3
0--0--1
0--1--6
0--0--1
0--5--0
0--0--1
0--0--7
0--1--0
0--0--2
0--2--0
0--2--8
0--0--1
0--0--4
0--0--3
0--0--1
0--0--4
0--0--4
1--7--0
0-17--5
2-19--3
CREDIT
Cash in hand
Commission recd. _Freeman's Journal_
Loan (Stephen Dedalus)
L. s. d.
0--4--9
1--7--6
1--7--0
2-19--3
Did the process of divestiture continue?
Sensible of a benignant persistent ache in his footsoles he extended
his foot to one side and observed the creases, protuberances and salient
points caused by foot pressure in the course of walking repeatedly in
several different directions, then, inclined, he disnoded the laceknots,
unhooked and loosened the laces, took off each of his two boots for the
second time, detached the partially moistened right sock through the
fore part of which the nail of his great toe had again effracted, raised
his right foot and, having unhooked a purple elastic sock suspender,
took off his right sock, placed his unclothed right foot on the margin
of the seat of his chair, picked at and gently lacerated the protruding
part of the great toenail, raised the part lacerated to his nostrils and
inhaled the odour of the quick, then, with satisfaction, threw away the
lacerated ungual fragment.
Why with satisfaction?
Because the odour inhaled corresponded to other odours inhaled of other
ungual fragments, picked and lacerated by Master Bloom, pupil of Mrs
Ellis's juvenile school, patiently each night in the act of brief
genuflection and nocturnal prayer and ambitious meditation.
In what ultimate ambition had all concurrent and consecutive ambitions
now coalesced?
Not to inherit by right of primogeniture, gavelkind or borough English,
or possess in perpetuity an extensive demesne of a sufficient number of
acres, roods and perches, statute land measure (valuation 42 pounds), of
grazing turbary surrounding a baronial hall with gatelodge and carriage
drive nor, on the other hand, a terracehouse or semidetached villa,
described as _Rus in Urbe_ or _Qui si sana_, but to purchase by private
treaty in fee simple a thatched bungalowshaped 2 storey dwellinghouse of
southerly aspect, surmounted by vane and lightning conductor, connected
with the earth, with porch covered by parasitic plants (ivy or Virginia
creeper), halldoor, olive green, with smart carriage finish and neat
doorbrasses, stucco front with gilt tracery at eaves and gable, rising,
if possible, upon a gentle eminence with agreeable prospect from balcony
with stone pillar parapet over unoccupied and unoccupyable interjacent
pastures and standing in 5 or 6 acres of its own ground, at such
a distance from the nearest public thoroughfare as to render its
houselights visible at night above and through a quickset hornbeam hedge
of topiary cutting, situate at a given point not less than 1 statute
mile from the periphery of the metropolis, within a time limit of not
more than 15 minutes from tram or train line (e. g. , Dundrum, south, or
Sutton, north, both localities equally reported by trial to resemble the
terrestrial poles in being favourable climates for phthisical subjects),
the premises to be held under feefarm grant, lease 999 years, the
messuage to consist of 1 drawingroom with baywindow (2 lancets),
thermometer affixed, 1 sittingroom, 4 bedrooms, 2 servants' rooms, tiled
kitchen with close range and scullery, lounge hall fitted with linen
wallpresses, fumed oak sectional bookcase containing the Encyclopaedia
Britannica and New Century Dictionary, transverse obsolete medieval and
oriental weapons, dinner gong, alabaster lamp, bowl pendant, vulcanite
automatic telephone receiver with adjacent directory, handtufted
Axminster carpet with cream ground and trellis border, loo table with
pillar and claw legs, hearth with massive firebrasses and ormolu mantel
chronometer clock, guaranteed timekeeper with cathedral chime, barometer
with hygrographic chart, comfortable lounge settees and corner fitments,
upholstered in ruby plush with good springing and sunk centre, three
banner Japanese screen and cuspidors (club style, rich winecoloured
leather, gloss renewable with a minimum of labour by use of linseed
oil and vinegar) and pyramidically prismatic central chandelier lustre,
bentwood perch with fingertame parrot (expurgated language), embossed
mural paper at 10/- per dozen with transverse swags of carmine floral
design and top crown frieze, staircase, three continuous flights at
successive right angles, of varnished cleargrained oak, treads and
risers, newel, balusters and handrail, with steppedup panel dado,
dressed with camphorated wax: bathroom, hot and cold supply, reclining
and shower: water closet on mezzanine provided with opaque singlepane
oblong window, tipup seat, bracket lamp, brass tierod and brace,
armrests, footstool and artistic oleograph on inner face of door:
ditto, plain: servants' apartments with separate sanitary and hygienic
necessaries for cook, general and betweenmaid (salary, rising by
biennial unearned increments of 2 pounds, with comprehensive fidelity
insurance, annual bonus (1 pound) and retiring allowance (based on
the 65 system) after 30 years' service), pantry, buttery, larder,
refrigerator, outoffices, coal and wood cellarage with winebin (still
and sparkling vintages) for distinguished guests, if entertained to
dinner (evening dress), carbon monoxide gas supply throughout.
What additional attractions might the grounds contain?
As addenda, a tennis and fives court, a shrubbery, a glass summerhouse
with tropical palms, equipped in the best botanical manner, a rockery
with waterspray, a beehive arranged on humane principles, oval
flowerbeds in rectangular grassplots set with eccentric ellipses of
scarlet and chrome tulips, blue scillas, crocuses, polyanthus, sweet
William, sweet pea, lily of the valley (bulbs obtainable from sir James
W. Mackey (Limited) wholesale and retail seed and bulb merchants and
nurserymen, agents for chemical manures, 23 Sackville street, upper), an
orchard, kitchen garden and vinery protected against illegal trespassers
by glasstopped mural enclosures, a lumbershed with padlock for various
inventoried implements.
As?
Eeltraps, lobsterpots, fishingrods, hatchet, steelyard, grindstone,
clodcrusher, swatheturner, carriagesack, telescope ladder, 10 tooth
rake, washing clogs, haytedder, tumbling rake, billhook, paintpot,
brush, hoe and so on.
What improvements might be subsequently introduced?
A rabbitry and fowlrun, a dovecote, a botanical conservatory, 2 hammocks
(lady's and gentleman's), a sundial shaded and sheltered by laburnum
or lilac trees, an exotically harmonically accorded Japanese tinkle
gatebell affixed to left lateral gatepost, a capacious waterbutt,
a lawnmower with side delivery and grassbox, a lawnsprinkler with
hydraulic hose.
What facilities of transit were desirable?
When citybound frequent connection by train or tram from their
respective intermediate station or terminal. When countrybound
velocipedes, a chainless freewheel roadster cycle with side basketcar
attached, or draught conveyance, a donkey with wicker trap or smart
phaeton with good working solidungular cob (roan gelding, 14 h).
What might be the name of this erigible or erected residence?
Bloom Cottage. Saint Leopold's. Flowerville.
Could Bloom of 7 Eccles street foresee Bloom of Flowerville?
In loose allwool garments with Harris tweed cap, price 8/6, and useful
garden boots with elastic gussets and wateringcan, planting aligned
young firtrees, syringing, pruning, staking, sowing hayseed, trundling a
weedladen wheelbarrow without excessive fatigue at sunset amid the scent
of newmown hay, ameliorating the soil, multiplying wisdom, achieving
longevity.
What syllabus of intellectual pursuits was simultaneously possible?
Snapshot photography, comparative study of religions, folklore relative
to various amatory and superstitious practices, contemplation of the
celestial constellations.
What lighter recreations?
Outdoor: garden and fieldwork, cycling on level macadamised causeways
ascents of moderately high hills, natation in secluded fresh water and
unmolested river boating in secure wherry or light curricle with kedge
anchor on reaches free from weirs and rapids (period of estivation),
vespertinal perambulation or equestrian circumprocession with inspection
of sterile landscape and contrastingly agreeable cottagers' fires of
smoking peat turves (period of hibernation). Indoor: discussion in
tepid security of unsolved historical and criminal problems: lecture of
unexpurgated exotic erotic masterpieces: house carpentry with toolbox
containing hammer, awl nails, screws, tintacks, gimlet, tweezers,
bullnose plane and turnscrew. Might he become a gentleman farmer of
field produce and live stock?
Not impossibly, with 1 or 2 stripper cows, 1 pike of upland hay and
requisite farming implements, e. g. , an end-to-end churn, a turnip pulper
etc.
What would be his civic functions and social status among the county
families and landed gentry?
Arranged successively in ascending powers of hierarchical order, that
of gardener, groundsman, cultivator, breeder, and at the zenith of his
career, resident magistrate or justice of the peace with a family crest
and coat of arms and appropriate classical motto _(Semper paratus_),
duly recorded in the court directory (Bloom, Leopold P. , M. P. , P. C. ,
K. P. , L. L. D. (_honoris causa_), Bloomville, Dundrum) and mentioned in
court and fashionable intelligence (Mr and Mrs Leopold Bloom have left
Kingstown for England).
What course of action did he outline for himself in such capacity?
A course that lay between undue clemency and excessive rigour:
the dispensation in a heterogeneous society of arbitrary classes,
incessantly rearranged in terms of greater and lesser social inequality,
of unbiassed homogeneous indisputable justice, tempered with mitigants
of the widest possible latitude but exactable to the uttermost farthing
with confiscation of estate, real and personal, to the crown. Loyal to
the highest constituted power in the land, actuated by an innate love of
rectitude his aims would be the strict maintenance of public order,
the repression of many abuses though not of all simultaneously (every
measure of reform or retrenchment being a preliminary solution to be
contained by fluxion in the final solution), the upholding of the letter
of the law (common, statute and law merchant) against all traversers in
covin and trespassers acting in contravention of bylaws and regulations,
all resuscitators (by trespass and petty larceny of kindlings) of
venville rights, obsolete by desuetude, all orotund instigators
of international persecution, all perpetuators of international
animosities, all menial molestors of domestic conviviality, all
recalcitrant violators of domestic connubiality.
Prove that he had loved rectitude from his earliest youth.
To Master Percy Apjohn at High School in 1880 he had divulged his
disbelief in the tenets of the Irish (protestant) church (to which his
father Rudolf Virag (later Rudolph Bloom) had been converted from the
Israelitic faith and communion in 1865 by the Society for promoting
Christianity among the jews) subsequently abjured by him in favour of
Roman catholicism at the epoch of and with a view to his matrimony
in 1888. To Daniel Magrane and Francis Wade in 1882 during a juvenile
friendship (terminated by the premature emigration of the former) he
had advocated during nocturnal perambulations the political theory of
colonial (e. g. Canadian) expansion and the evolutionary theories of
Charles Darwin, expounded in _The Descent of Man_ and _The Origin
of Species_. In 1885 he had publicly expressed his adherence to the
collective and national economic programme advocated by James Fintan
Lalor, John Fisher Murray, John Mitchel, J. F. X. O'Brien and others,
the agrarian policy of Michael Davitt, the constitutional agitation of
Charles Stewart Parnell (M. P. for Cork City), the programme of
peace, retrenchment and reform of William Ewart Gladstone (M. P. for
Midlothian, N. B. ) and, in support of his political convictions, had
climbed up into a secure position amid the ramifications of a tree
on Northumberland road to see the entrance (2 February 1888) into the
capital of a demonstrative torchlight procession of 20,000 torchbearers,
divided into 120 trade corporations, bearing 2000 torches in escort of
the marquess of Ripon and (honest) John Morley.
How much and how did he propose to pay for this country residence?
As per prospectus of the Industrious Foreign Acclimatised Nationalised
Friendly Stateaided Building Society (incorporated 1874), a maximum
of 60 pounds per annum, being 1/6 of an assured income, derived from
giltedged securities, representing at 5 % simple interest on capital of
1200 pounds (estimate of price at 20 years' purchase), of which to be
paid on acquisition and the balance in the form of annual rent, viz. 800
pounds plus 2 1/2 % interest on the same, repayable quarterly in equal
annual instalments until extinction by amortisation of loan advanced for
purchase within a period of 20 years, amounting to an annual rental of
64 pounds, headrent included, the titledeeds to remain in possession
of the lender or lenders with a saving clause envisaging forced sale,
foreclosure and mutual compensation in the event of protracted failure
to pay the terms assigned, otherwise the messuage to become the absolute
property of the tenant occupier upon expiry of the period of years
stipulated.
What rapid but insecure means to opulence might facilitate immediate
purchase?
A private wireless telegraph which would transmit by dot and dash system
the result of a national equine handicap (flat or steeplechase) of I or
more miles and furlongs won by an outsider at odds of 50 to 1 at 3 hr
8 m p. m. at Ascot (Greenwich time), the message being received and
available for betting purposes in Dublin at 2. 59 p. m. (Dunsink time).
The unexpected discovery of an object of great monetary value (precious
stone, valuable adhesive or impressed postage stamps (7 schilling,
mauve, imperforate, Hamburg, 1866: 4 pence, rose, blue paper, perforate,
Great Britain, 1855: 1 franc, stone, official, rouletted, diagonal
surcharge, Luxemburg, 1878), antique dynastical ring, unique relic) in
unusual repositories or by unusual means: from the air (dropped by an
eagle in flight), by fire (amid the carbonised remains of an incendiated
edifice), in the sea (amid flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict), on
earth (in the gizzard of a comestible fowl). A Spanish prisoner's
donation of a distant treasure of valuables or specie or bullion lodged
with a solvent banking corporation loo years previously at 5% compound
interest of the collective worth of 5,000,000 pounds stg (five million
pounds sterling). A contract with an inconsiderate contractee for the
delivery of 32 consignments of some given commodity in consideration of
cash payment on delivery per delivery at the initial rate of 1/4d to be
increased constantly in the geometrical progression of 2 (1/4d, 1/2d,
1d, 2d, 4d, 8d, 1s 4d, 2s 8d to 32 terms). A prepared scheme
based on a study of the laws of probability to break the bank at Monte
Carlo. A solution of the secular problem of the quadrature of the
circle, government premium 1,000,000 pounds sterling.
Was vast wealth acquirable through industrial channels?
The reclamation of dunams of waste arenary soil, proposed in the
prospectus of Agendath Netaim, Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 15, by the
cultivation of orange plantations and melonfields and reafforestation.
The utilisation of waste paper, fells of sewer rodents, human excrement
possessing chemical properties, in view of the vast production of the
first, vast number of the second and immense quantity of the third,
every normal human being of average vitality and appetite producing
annually, cancelling byproducts of water, a sum total of 80 lbs. (mixed
animal and vegetable diet), to be multiplied by 4,386,035, the total
population of Ireland according to census returns of 1901.
Were there schemes of wider scope?
A scheme to be formulated and submitted for approval to the harbour
commissioners for the exploitation of white coal (hydraulic power),
obtained by hydroelectric plant at peak of tide at Dublin bar or at
head of water at Poulaphouca or Powerscourt or catchment basins of main
streams for the economic production of 500,000 W. H. P. of electricity.
A scheme to enclose the peninsular delta of the North Bull at Dollymount
and erect on the space of the foreland, used for golf links and rifle
ranges, an asphalted esplanade with casinos, booths, shooting galleries,
hotels, boardinghouses, readingrooms, establishments for mixed bathing.
A scheme for the use of dogvans and goatvans for the delivery of early
morning milk. A scheme for the development of Irish tourist traffic in
and around Dublin by means of petrolpropelled riverboats, plying in the
fluvial fairway between Island bridge and Ringsend, charabancs, narrow
gauge local railways, and pleasure steamers for coastwise navigation
(10/- per person per day, guide (trilingual) included). A scheme for
the repristination of passenger and goods traffics over Irish waterways,
when freed from weedbeds. A scheme to connect by tramline the Cattle
Market (North Circular road and Prussia street) with the quays (Sheriff
street, lower, and East Wall), parallel with the Link line railway
laid (in conjunction with the Great Southern and Western railway line)
between the cattle park, Liffey junction, and terminus of Midland Great
Western Railway 43 to 45 North
Wall, in proximity to the terminal stations or Dublin branches of Great
Central Railway, Midland Railway of England, City of Dublin Steam Packet
Company, Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway Company, Dublin and Glasgow
Steam Packet Company, Glasgow, Dublin and Londonderry Steam Packet
Company (Laird line), British and Irish Steam Packet Company, Dublin
and Morecambe Steamers, London and North Western Railway Company, Dublin
Port and Docks Board Landing Sheds and transit sheds of Palgrave, Murphy
and Company, steamship owners, agents for steamers from Mediterranean,
Spain, Portugal, France, Belgium and Holland and for Liverpool
Underwriters' Association, the cost of acquired rolling stock for
animal transport and of additional mileage operated by the Dublin United
Tramways Company, limited, to be covered by graziers' fees.
Positing what protasis would the contraction for such several schemes
become a natural and necessary apodosis?
Given a guarantee equal to the sum sought, the support, by deed of
gift and transfer vouchers during donor's lifetime or by bequest
after donor's painless extinction, of eminent financiers (Blum Pasha,
Rothschild Guggenheim, Hirsch, Montefiore, Morgan, Rockefeller)
possessing fortunes in 6 figures, amassed during a successful life, and
joining capital with opportunity the thing required was done.
What eventuality would render him independent of such wealth?
The independent discovery of a goldseam of inexhaustible ore.
For what reason did he meditate on schemes so difficult of realisation?
It was one of his axioms that similar meditations or the automatic
relation to himself of a narrative concerning himself or tranquil
recollection of the past when practised habitually before retiring for
the night alleviated fatigue and produced as a result sound repose and
renovated vitality.
His justifications?
As a physicist he had learned that of the 70 years of complete human
life at least 2/7, viz. 20 years are passed in sleep. As a philosopher
he knew that at the termination of any allotted life only an
infinitesimal part of any person's desires has been realised. As a
physiologist he believed in the artificial placation of malignant
agencies chiefly operative during somnolence.
What did he fear?
The committal of homicide or suicide during sleep by an aberration
of the light of reason, the incommensurable categorical intelligence
situated in the cerebral convolutions.
What were habitually his final meditations?
Of some one sole unique advertisement to cause passers to stop in
wonder, a poster novelty, with all extraneous accretions excluded,
reduced to its simplest and most efficient terms not exceeding the span
of casual vision and congruous with the velocity of modern life.
What did the first drawer unlocked contain?
A Vere Foster's handwriting copybook, property of Milly (Millicent)
Bloom, certain pages of which bore diagram drawings, marked _Papli_,
which showed a large globular head with 5 hairs erect, 2 eyes in
profile, the trunk full front with 3 large buttons, 1 triangular foot: 2
fading photographs of queen Alexandra of England and of Maud Branscombe,
actress and professional beauty: a Yuletide card, bearing on it a
pictorial representation of a parasitic plant, the legend _Mizpah_, the
date Xmas 1892, the name of the senders: from Mr + Mrs M. Comerford, the
versicle: _May this Yuletide bring to thee, Joy and peace and welcome
glee_: a butt of red partly liquefied sealing wax, obtained from the
stores department of Messrs Hely's, Ltd. , 89, 90, and 91 Dame street:
a box containing the remainder of a gross of gilt "J" pennibs, obtained
from same department of same firm: an old sandglass which rolled
containing sand which rolled: a sealed prophecy (never unsealed) written
by Leopold Bloom in 1886 concerning the consequences of the passing into
law of William Ewart Gladstone's Home Rule bill of 1886 (never passed
into law): a bazaar ticket, no 2004, of S. Kevin's Charity Fair, price
6d, 100 prizes: an infantile epistle, dated, small em monday, reading:
capital pee Papli comma capital aitch How are you note of interrogation
capital eye I am very well full stop new paragraph signature with
flourishes capital em Milly no stop: a cameo brooch, property of Ellen
Bloom (born Higgins), deceased: a cameo scarfpin, property of Rudolph
Bloom (born Virag), deceased: 3 typewritten letters, addressee, Henry
Flower, c/o. P. O. Westland Row, addresser, Martha Clifford, c/o. P. O.
Dolphin's Barn: the transliterated name and address of the addresser
of the 3 letters in reversed alphabetic boustrophedonic punctated
quadrilinear cryptogram (vowels suppressed) N. IGS. /WI. UU. OX/W. OKS.
MH/Y. IM: a press cutting from an English weekly periodical _Modern
Society_, subject corporal chastisement in girls' schools: a pink ribbon
which had festooned an Easter egg in the year 1899: two partly uncoiled
rubber preservatives with reserve pockets, purchased by post from Box
32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : 1 pack of 1 dozen creamlaid
envelopes and feintruled notepaper, watermarked, now reduced by 3: some
assorted Austrian-Hungarian coins: 2 coupons of the Royal and Privileged
Hungarian Lottery: a lowpower magnifying glass: 2 erotic photocards
showing a) buccal coition between nude senorita (rere presentation,
superior position) and nude torero (fore presentation, inferior
position) b) anal violation by male religious (fully clothed, eyes
abject) of female religious (partly clothed, eyes direct), purchased by
post from Box 32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : a press cutting
of recipe for renovation of old tan boots: a Id adhesive stamp,
lavender, of the reign of Queen Victoria: a chart of the measurements
of Leopold Bloom compiled before, during and after 2 months' consecutive
use of Sandow-Whiteley's pulley exerciser (men's 15/-, athlete's 20/-)
viz. chest 28 in and 29 1/2 in, biceps 9 in and 10 in, forearm 8 1/2 in
and 9 in, thigh 10 in and 12 in, calf 11 in and 12 in: 1 prospectus of
The Wonderworker, the world's greatest remedy for rectal complaints,
direct from Wonderworker, Coventry House, South Place, London E C,
addressed (erroneously) to Mrs L. Bloom with brief accompanying note
commencing (erroneously): Dear Madam.
Quote the textual terms in which the prospectus claimed advantages for
this thaumaturgic remedy.
It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breaking
wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant relief
in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural action, an
initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth living.
Ladies find Wonderworker especially useful, a pleasant surprise when
they note delightful result like a cool drink of fresh spring water on
a sultry summer's day. Recommend it to your lady and gentlemen friends,
lasts a lifetime. Insert long round end. Wonderworker.
Were there testimonials?
Numerous. From clergyman, British naval officer, wellknown author, city
man, hospital nurse, lady, mother of five, absentminded beggar.
How did absentminded beggar's concluding testimonial conclude?
What a pity the government did not supply our men with wonderworkers
during the South African campaign! What a relief it would have been!
What object did Bloom add to this collection of objects?
A 4th typewritten letter received by Henry Flower (let H. F. be L. B. )
from Martha Clifford (find M. C. ).
What pleasant reflection accompanied this action?
The reflection that, apart from the letter in question, his magnetic
face, form and address had been favourably received during the course of
the preceding day by a wife (Mrs Josephine Breen, born Josie Powell),
a nurse, Miss Callan (Christian name unknown), a maid, Gertrude (Gerty,
family name unknown).
What possibility suggested itself?
The possibility of exercising virile power of fascination in the not
immediate future after an expensive repast in a private apartment in
the company of an elegant courtesan, of corporal beauty, moderately
mercenary, variously instructed, a lady by origin.
What did the 2nd drawer contain?
Documents: the birth certificate of Leopold Paula Bloom: an endowment
assurance policy of 500 pounds in the Scottish Widows' Assurance
Society, intestated Millicent (Milly) Bloom, coming into force at 25
years as with profit policy of 430 pounds, 462/10/0 and 500 pounds at
60 years or death, 65 years or death and death, respectively, or
with profit policy (paidup) of 299/10/0 together with cash payment of
133/10/0, at option: a bank passbook issued by the Ulster Bank, College
Green branch showing statement of a/c for halfyear ending 31 December
1903, balance in depositor's favour: 18/14/6 (eighteen pounds, fourteen
shillings and sixpence, sterling), net personalty: certificate of
possession of 900 pounds, Canadian 4 percent (inscribed) government
stock (free of stamp duty): dockets of the Catholic Cemeteries'
(Glasnevin) Committee, relative to a graveplot purchased: a local press
cutting concerning change of name by deedpoll.
Quote the textual terms of this notice.
I, Rudolph Virag, now resident at no 52 Clanbrassil street, Dublin,
formerly of Szombathely in the kingdom of Hungary, hereby give notice
that I have assumed and intend henceforth upon all occasions and at all
times to be known by the name of Rudolph Bloom.
What other objects relative to Rudolph Bloom (born Virag) were in the
2nd drawer?
An indistinct daguerreotype of Rudolf Virag and his father Leopold
Virag executed in the year 1852 in the portrait atelier of their
(respectively) 1st and 2nd cousin, Stefan Virag of Szesfehervar,
Hungary. An ancient haggadah book in which a pair of hornrimmed convex
spectacles inserted marked the passage of thanksgiving in the ritual
prayers for Pessach (Passover): a photocard of the Queen's Hotel,
Ennis, proprietor, Rudolph Bloom: an envelope addressed: _To My Dear Son
Leopold_.
What fractions of phrases did the lecture of those five whole words
evoke?
Tomorrow will be a week that I received. . . it is no use Leopold to be
. . . with your dear mother. . . that is not more to stand. . . to her. . .
all for me is out. . . be kind to Athos, Leopold. . . my dear son. . .
always. . . of me. . . _das Herz. . . Gott. . . dein_. . .
What reminiscences of a human subject suffering from progressive
melancholia did these objects evoke in Bloom?
An old man, widower, unkempt of hair, in bed, with head covered,
sighing: an infirm dog, Athos: aconite, resorted to by increasing doses
of grains and scruples as a palliative of recrudescent neuralgia: the
face in death of a septuagenarian, suicide by poison.
Why did Bloom experience a sentiment of remorse?
Because in immature impatience he had treated with disrespect certain
beliefs and practices.
As?
The prohibition of the use of fleshmeat and milk at one meal: the
hebdomadary symposium of incoordinately abstract, perfervidly concrete
mercantile coexreligionist excompatriots: the circumcision of
male infants: the supernatural character of Judaic scripture: the
ineffability of the tetragrammaton: the sanctity of the sabbath.
How did these beliefs and practices now appear to him?
Not more rational than they had then appeared, not less rational than
other beliefs and practices now appeared.
What first reminiscence had he of Rudolph Bloom (deceased)?
Rudolph Bloom (deceased) narrated to his son Leopold Bloom (aged 6) a
retrospective arrangement of migrations and settlements in and between
Dublin, London, Florence, Milan, Vienna, Budapest, Szombathely with
statements of satisfaction (his grandfather having seen Maria Theresia,
empress of Austria, queen of Hungary), with commercial advice (having
taken care of pence, the pounds having taken care of themselves).
Leopold Bloom (aged 6) had accompanied these narrations by constant
consultation of a geographical map of Europe (political) and by
suggestions for the establishment of affiliated business premises in the
various centres mentioned.
Had time equally but differently obliterated the memory of these
migrations in narrator and listener?
In narrator by the access of years and in consequence of the use of
narcotic toxin: in listener by the access of years and in consequence of
the action of distraction upon vicarious experiences.
What idiosyncracies of the narrator were concomitant products of
amnesia?
Occasionally he ate without having previously removed his hat.
Occasionally he drank voraciously the juice of gooseberry fool from an
inclined plate. Occasionally he removed from his lips the traces of food
by means of a lacerated envelope or other accessible fragment of paper.
What two phenomena of senescence were more frequent?
The myopic digital calculation of coins, eructation consequent upon
repletion.
What object offered partial consolation for these reminiscences?
The endowment policy, the bank passbook, the certificate of the
possession of scrip.
Reduce Bloom by cross multiplication of reverses of fortune, from which
these supports protected him, and by elimination of all positive values
to a negligible negative irrational unreal quantity.
Successively, in descending helotic order: Poverty: that of the outdoor
hawker of imitation jewellery, the dun for the recovery of bad and
doubtful debts, the poor rate and deputy cess collector. Mendicancy:
that of the fraudulent bankrupt with negligible assets paying 1s. 4d.
in the pound, sandwichman, distributor of throwaways, nocturnal vagrant,
insinuating sycophant, maimed sailor, blind stripling, superannuated
bailiffs man, marfeast, lickplate, spoilsport, pickthank, eccentric
public laughingstock seated on bench of public park under discarded
perforated umbrella. Destitution: the inmate of Old Man's House (Royal
Hospital) Kilmainham, the inmate of Simpson's Hospital for reduced but
respectable men permanently disabled by gout or want of sight. Nadir of
misery: the aged impotent disfranchised ratesupported moribund lunatic
pauper.
With which attendant indignities?
The unsympathetic indifference of previously amiable females, the
contempt of muscular males, the acceptance of fragments of bread,
the simulated ignorance of casual acquaintances, the latration of
illegitimate unlicensed vagabond dogs, the infantile discharge of
decomposed vegetable missiles, worth little or nothing, nothing or less
than nothing.
By what could such a situation be precluded?
By decease (change of state): by departure (change of place).
Which preferably?
The latter, by the line of least resistance.
What considerations rendered departure not entirely undesirable?
Constant cohabitation impeding mutual toleration of personal defects.
The habit of independent purchase increasingly cultivated. The necessity
to counteract by impermanent sojourn the permanence of arrest.
What considerations rendered departure not irrational?
The parties concerned, uniting, had increased and multiplied, which
being done, offspring produced and educed to maturity, the parties, if
not disunited were obliged to reunite for increase and multiplication,
which was absurd, to form by reunion the original couple of uniting
parties, which was impossible.
What considerations rendered departure desirable?
The attractive character of certain localities in Ireland and abroad,
as represented in general geographical maps of polychrome design or
in special ordnance survey charts by employment of scale numerals and
hachures.
In Ireland?
The cliffs of Moher, the windy wilds of Connemara, lough Neagh with
submerged petrified city, the Giant's Causeway, Fort Camden and Fort
Carlisle, the Golden Vale of Tipperary, the islands of Aran, the
pastures of royal Meath, Brigid's elm in Kildare, the Queen's Island
shipyard in Belfast, the Salmon Leap, the lakes of Killarney.
Abroad?
Ceylon (with spicegardens supplying tea to Thomas Kernan, agent for
Pulbrook, Robertson and Co, 2 Mincing Lane, London, E. C. , 5 Dame
street, Dublin), Jerusalem, the holy city (with mosque of Omar and gate
of Damascus, goal of aspiration), the straits of Gibraltar (the unique
birthplace of Marion Tweedy), the Parthenon (containing statues of nude
Grecian divinities), the Wall street money market (which controlled
international finance), the Plaza de Toros at La Linea, Spain (where
O'Hara of the Camerons had slain the bull), Niagara (over which no human
being had passed with impunity), the land of the Eskimos (eaters
of soap), the forbidden country of Thibet (from which no traveller
returns), the bay of Naples (to see which was to die), the Dead Sea.
Under what guidance, following what signs?
At sea, septentrional, by night the polestar, located at the point of
intersection of the right line from beta to alpha in Ursa Maior produced
and divided externally at omega and the hypotenuse of the rightangled
triangle formed by the line alpha omega so produced and the line alpha
delta of Ursa Maior. On land, meridional, a bispherical moon, revealed
in imperfect varying phases of lunation through the posterior interstice
of the imperfectly occluded skirt of a carnose negligent perambulating
female, a pillar of the cloud by day.
What public advertisement would divulge the occultation of the departed?
5 pounds reward, lost, stolen or strayed from his residence 7 Eccles
street, missing gent about 40, answering to the name of Bloom, Leopold
(Poldy), height 5 ft 9 1/2 inches, full build, olive complexion, may
have since grown a beard, when last seen was wearing a black suit. Above
sum will be paid for information leading to his discovery.
What universal binomial denominations would be his as entity and
nonentity?
Assumed by any or known to none. Everyman or Noman.
What tributes his?
Honour and gifts of strangers, the friends of Everyman. A nymph
immortal, beauty, the bride of Noman.
Would the departed never nowhere nohow reappear?
Ever he would wander, selfcompelled, to the extreme limit of his
cometary orbit, beyond the fixed stars and variable suns and telescopic
planets, astronomical waifs and strays, to the extreme boundary of
space, passing from land to land, among peoples, amid events. Somewhere
imperceptibly he would hear and somehow reluctantly, suncompelled, obey
the summons of recall. Whence, disappearing from the constellation of
the Northern Crown he would somehow reappear reborn above delta in the
constellation of Cassiopeia and after incalculable eons of peregrination
return an estranged avenger, a wreaker of justice on malefactors, a dark
crusader, a sleeper awakened, with financial resources (by supposition)
surpassing those of Rothschild or the silver king.
What would render such return irrational?
An unsatisfactory equation between an exodus and return in time through
reversible space and an exodus and return in space through irreversible
time.
What play of forces, inducing inertia, rendered departure undesirable?
The lateness of the hour, rendering procrastinatory: the obscurity
of the night, rendering invisible: the uncertainty of thoroughfares,
rendering perilous: the necessity for repose, obviating movement: the
proximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation of
warmth (human) tempered with coolness (linen), obviating desire and
rendering desirable: the statue of Narcissus, sound without echo,
desired desire.
What advantages were possessed by an occupied, as distinct from an
unoccupied bed?
The removal of nocturnal solitude, the superior quality of human
(mature female) to inhuman (hotwaterjar) calefaction, the stimulation of
matutinal contact, the economy of mangling done on the premises in the
case of trousers accurately folded and placed lengthwise between the
spring mattress (striped) and the woollen mattress (biscuit section).
What past consecutive causes, before rising preapprehended, of
accumulated fatigue did Bloom, before rising, silently recapitulate?
The preparation of breakfast (burnt offering): intestinal congestion and
premeditative defecation (holy of holies): the bath (rite of John): the
funeral (rite of Samuel): the advertisement of Alexander Keyes (Urim and
Thummim): the unsubstantial lunch (rite of Melchisedek): the visit to
museum and national library (holy place): the bookhunt along Bedford
row, Merchants' Arch, Wellington Quay (Simchath Torah): the music in the
Ormond Hotel (Shira Shirim): the altercation with a truculent troglodyte
in Bernard Kiernan's premises (holocaust): a blank period of time
including a cardrive, a visit to a house of mourning, a leavetaking
(wilderness): the eroticism produced by feminine exhibitionism (rite of
Onan): the prolonged delivery of Mrs Mina Purefoy (heave offering):
the visit to the disorderly house of Mrs Bella Cohen, 82 Tyrone
street, lower and subsequent brawl and chance medley in Beaver street
(Armageddon)--nocturnal perambulation to and from the cabman's shelter,
Butt Bridge (atonement).
What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as to
conclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?
The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted by
the insentient material of a strainveined timber table.
What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gathering multicoloured
multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarily apprehending, not
comprehend?
Who was M'Intosh?
What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30
years did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by the extinction
of artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?
Where was Moses when the candle went out?
What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged with
collected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel, silently,
successively, enumerate?
A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisement: to obtain
a certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook,
Robertson and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E.
C. ): to certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice in
the case of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitous
or paid) to the performance of Leah by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at the Gaiety
Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.
What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?
The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, Royal Dublin
Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin's Barn.
What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?
Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiens
street, with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel lines
meeting at infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced from
infinity, with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of the
Great Northern Railway, Amiens street, returning.
What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel were
perceived by him?
A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies' hose, a pair of new
violet garters, a pair of outsize ladies' drawers of India mull, cut on
generous lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti's Turkish
cigarettes and containing a long bright steel safety pin, folded
curvilinear, a camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordion
underskirt of blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposed
irregularly on the top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened,
having capped corners, with multicoloured labels, initialled on its fore
side in white lettering B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).
What impersonal objects were perceived?
A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonne
cutting, apple design, on which rested a lady's black straw hat.
Orangekeyed ware, bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinaware
and ironmongery manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposed
irregularly on the washstand and floor and consisting of basin, soapdish
and brushtray (on the washstand, together), pitcher and night article
(on the floor, separate).
Bloom's acts?
He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remaining
articles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of the
bed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into the
proper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head to
the foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered the
bed.
How?
With circumspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own or
not his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattress
being old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulous
under stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush of
lust or adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed of
conception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of
marriage, of sleep and of death.
What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?
New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,
female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,
some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.
If he had smiled why would he have smiled?
To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first to
enter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even if
the first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,
last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor
alone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.
What preceding series?
Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartell
d'Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, Father
Bernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society's Horse Show,
Maggot O'Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor
of Dublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder,
an unknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, Simon
Dedalus, Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, Alderman John
Hooper, Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, a bootblack
at the General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and so each and so
on to no last term.
What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series and
late occupant of the bed?
Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (a
billsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (a
boaster).
Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporal
proportion and commercial ability?
Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the preceding
members of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammably
transmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then with
desire, finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicene
comprehension and apprehension.
With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflections
affected?
Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.
Envy?
Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for the
superincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energetic
piston and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction of
a constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mental
female organism, passive but not obtuse.
Jealousy?
Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternately
the agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction between agent(s)
and reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportion of
increase and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radial
reentrance. Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation of
attraction produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.
Abnegation?
In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in the
establishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 Eden
Quay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated and
reappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses of
ambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)
extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracial prerogative,
e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common current expenses, net
proceeds divided.
Equanimity?
As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed or
understood executed in natured nature by natural creatures in accordance
with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilar similarity.
As not so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of the planet in
consequence of a collision with a dark sun. As less reprehensible than
theft, highway robbery, cruelty to children and animals, obtaining money
under false pretences, forgery, embezzlement, misappropriation of public
money, betrayal of public trust, malingering, mayhem, corruption of
minors, criminal libel, blackmail, contempt of court, arson, treason,
felony, mutiny on the high seas, trespass, burglary, jailbreaking,
practice of unnatural vice, desertion from armed forces in the field,
perjury, poaching, usury, intelligence with the king's enemies,
impersonation, criminal assault, manslaughter, wilful and premeditated
murder. As not more abnormal than all other parallel processes of
adaptation to altered conditions of existence, resulting in a reciprocal
equilibrium between the bodily organism and its attendant circumstances,
foods, beverages, acquired habits, indulged inclinations, significant
disease. As more than inevitable, irreparable.
Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?
From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought but
outrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimonially
violated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of the
adulterously violated.
What retribution, if any?
Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel by
combat, no. Divorce, not now.
_Poetical Works_ (copper beechleaf bookmark at p. 5). Shakespeare's
_Works_ (dark crimson morocco, goldtooled).
_The Useful Ready Reckoner_ (brown cloth).
_The Secret History of the Court of Charles II_ (red cloth, tooled
binding). _The Child's Guide_ (blue cloth).
_The Beauties of Killarney_ (wrappers).
_When We Were Boys_ by William O'Brien M. P. (green cloth, slightly
faded, envelope bookmark at p. 217).
_Thoughts from Spinoza_ (maroon leather).
_The Story of the Heavens_ by Sir Robert Ball (blue cloth). Ellis's
_Three Trips to Madagascar_ (brown cloth, title obliterated).
_The Stark-Munro Letters_ by A. Conan Doyle, property of the City of
Dublin Public Library, 106 Capel street, lent 21 May (Whitsun Eve) 1904,
due 4 June 1904, 13 days overdue (black cloth binding, bearing white
letternumber ticket).
_Voyages in China_ by "Viator" (recovered with brown paper, red ink
title).
_Philosophy of the Talmud_ (sewn pamphlet). Lockhart's _Life of
Napoleon_ (cover wanting, marginal annotations, minimising victories,
aggrandising defeats of the protagonist).
_Soll und Haben_ by Gustav Freytag (black boards, Gothic characters,
cigarette coupon bookmark at p. 24). Hozier's _History of the
Russo-Turkish War_ (brown cloth, a volumes, with gummed label, Garrison
Library, Governor's Parade, Gibraltar, on verso of cover).
_Laurence Bloomfield in Ireland_ by William Allingham (second edition,
green cloth, gilt trefoil design, previous owner's name on recto of
flyleaf erased).
_A Handbook of Astronomy_ (cover, brown leather, detached, S plates,
antique letterpress long primer, author's footnotes nonpareil, marginal
clues brevier, captions small pica).
_The Hidden Life of Christ_ (black boards).
_In the Track of the Sun_ (yellow cloth, titlepage missing, recurrent
title intestation).
_Physical Strength and How to Obtain It_ by Eugen Sandow (red cloth).
_Short but yet Plain Elements of Geometry_ written in French by F.
Ignat. Pardies and rendered into English by John Harris D. D. London,
printed for R. Knaplock at the Bifhop's Head, MDCCXI, with dedicatory
epiftle to his worthy friend Charles Cox, efquire, Member of Parliament
for the burgh of Southwark and having ink calligraphed statement on the
flyleaf certifying that the book was the property of Michael Gallagher,
dated this 10th day of May 1822 and requefting the perfon who should
find it, if the book should be loft or go aftray, to reftore it to
Michael Gallagher, carpenter, Dufery Gate, Ennifcorthy, county Wicklow,
the fineft place in the world.
What reflections occupied his mind during the process of reversion of
the inverted volumes?
The necessity of order, a place for everything and everything in its
place: the deficient appreciation of literature possessed by females:
the incongruity of an apple incuneated in a tumbler and of an umbrella
inclined in a closestool: the insecurity of hiding any secret document
behind, beneath or between the pages of a book.
Which volume was the largest in bulk?
Hozier's _History of the Russo-Turkish war. _
What among other data did the second volume of the work in question
contain?
The name of a decisive battle (forgotten), frequently remembered by a
decisive officer, major Brian Cooper Tweedy (remembered).
Why, firstly and secondly, did he not consult the work in question?
Firstly, in order to exercise mnemotechnic: secondly, because after an
interval of amnesia, when, seated at the central table, about to consult
the work in question, he remembered by mnemotechnic the name of the
military engagement, Plevna.
What caused him consolation in his sitting posture?
The candour, nudity, pose, tranquility, youth, grace, sex, counsel of a
statue erect in the centre of the table, an image of Narcissus purchased
by auction from P. A. Wren, 9 Bachelor's Walk.
What caused him irritation in his sitting posture? Inhibitory pressure
of collar (size 17) and waistcoat (5 buttons), two articles of clothing
superfluous in the costume of mature males and inelastic to alterations
of mass by expansion.
How was the irritation allayed?
He removed his collar, with contained black necktie and collapsible
stud, from his neck to a position on the left of the table. He
unbuttoned successively in reversed direction waistcoat, trousers, shirt
and vest along the medial line of irregular incrispated black hairs
extending in triangular convergence from the pelvic basin over the
circumference of the abdomen and umbilicular fossicle along the medial
line of nodes to the intersection of the sixth pectoral vertebrae,
thence produced both ways at right angles and terminating in circles
described about two equidistant points, right and left, on the summits
of the mammary prominences. He unbraced successively each of six minus
one braced trouser buttons, arranged in pairs, of which one incomplete.
What involuntary actions followed?
He compressed between 2 fingers the flesh circumjacent to a cicatrice in
the left infracostal region below the diaphragm resulting from a sting
inflicted 2 weeks and 3 days previously (23 May 1904) by a bee.
He scratched imprecisely with his right hand, though insensible of
prurition, various points and surfaces of his partly exposed, wholly
abluted skin. He inserted his left hand into the left lower pocket of
his waistcoat and extracted and replaced a silver coin (I shilling),
placed there (presumably) on the occasion (17 October 1903) of the
interment of Mrs Emily Sinico, Sydney Parade.
Compile the budget for 16 June 1904. DEBIT
1 Pork Kidney
1 Copy FREEMAN'S JOURNAL
1 Bath And Gratification
Tramfare
1 In Memoriam Patrick Dignam
2 Banbury cakes
1 Lunch
1 Renewal fee for book
1 Packet Notepaper and Envelopes
1 Dinner and Gratification
1 Postal Order and Stamp
Tramfare
1 Pig's Foot
1 Sheep's Trotter
1 Cake Fry's Plain Chocolate
1 Square Soda Bread
1 Coffee and Bun
Loan (Stephen Dedalus) refunded
BALANCE
L. s. d.
0--0--3
0--0--1
0--1--6
0--0--1
0--5--0
0--0--1
0--0--7
0--1--0
0--0--2
0--2--0
0--2--8
0--0--1
0--0--4
0--0--3
0--0--1
0--0--4
0--0--4
1--7--0
0-17--5
2-19--3
CREDIT
Cash in hand
Commission recd. _Freeman's Journal_
Loan (Stephen Dedalus)
L. s. d.
0--4--9
1--7--6
1--7--0
2-19--3
Did the process of divestiture continue?
Sensible of a benignant persistent ache in his footsoles he extended
his foot to one side and observed the creases, protuberances and salient
points caused by foot pressure in the course of walking repeatedly in
several different directions, then, inclined, he disnoded the laceknots,
unhooked and loosened the laces, took off each of his two boots for the
second time, detached the partially moistened right sock through the
fore part of which the nail of his great toe had again effracted, raised
his right foot and, having unhooked a purple elastic sock suspender,
took off his right sock, placed his unclothed right foot on the margin
of the seat of his chair, picked at and gently lacerated the protruding
part of the great toenail, raised the part lacerated to his nostrils and
inhaled the odour of the quick, then, with satisfaction, threw away the
lacerated ungual fragment.
Why with satisfaction?
Because the odour inhaled corresponded to other odours inhaled of other
ungual fragments, picked and lacerated by Master Bloom, pupil of Mrs
Ellis's juvenile school, patiently each night in the act of brief
genuflection and nocturnal prayer and ambitious meditation.
In what ultimate ambition had all concurrent and consecutive ambitions
now coalesced?
Not to inherit by right of primogeniture, gavelkind or borough English,
or possess in perpetuity an extensive demesne of a sufficient number of
acres, roods and perches, statute land measure (valuation 42 pounds), of
grazing turbary surrounding a baronial hall with gatelodge and carriage
drive nor, on the other hand, a terracehouse or semidetached villa,
described as _Rus in Urbe_ or _Qui si sana_, but to purchase by private
treaty in fee simple a thatched bungalowshaped 2 storey dwellinghouse of
southerly aspect, surmounted by vane and lightning conductor, connected
with the earth, with porch covered by parasitic plants (ivy or Virginia
creeper), halldoor, olive green, with smart carriage finish and neat
doorbrasses, stucco front with gilt tracery at eaves and gable, rising,
if possible, upon a gentle eminence with agreeable prospect from balcony
with stone pillar parapet over unoccupied and unoccupyable interjacent
pastures and standing in 5 or 6 acres of its own ground, at such
a distance from the nearest public thoroughfare as to render its
houselights visible at night above and through a quickset hornbeam hedge
of topiary cutting, situate at a given point not less than 1 statute
mile from the periphery of the metropolis, within a time limit of not
more than 15 minutes from tram or train line (e. g. , Dundrum, south, or
Sutton, north, both localities equally reported by trial to resemble the
terrestrial poles in being favourable climates for phthisical subjects),
the premises to be held under feefarm grant, lease 999 years, the
messuage to consist of 1 drawingroom with baywindow (2 lancets),
thermometer affixed, 1 sittingroom, 4 bedrooms, 2 servants' rooms, tiled
kitchen with close range and scullery, lounge hall fitted with linen
wallpresses, fumed oak sectional bookcase containing the Encyclopaedia
Britannica and New Century Dictionary, transverse obsolete medieval and
oriental weapons, dinner gong, alabaster lamp, bowl pendant, vulcanite
automatic telephone receiver with adjacent directory, handtufted
Axminster carpet with cream ground and trellis border, loo table with
pillar and claw legs, hearth with massive firebrasses and ormolu mantel
chronometer clock, guaranteed timekeeper with cathedral chime, barometer
with hygrographic chart, comfortable lounge settees and corner fitments,
upholstered in ruby plush with good springing and sunk centre, three
banner Japanese screen and cuspidors (club style, rich winecoloured
leather, gloss renewable with a minimum of labour by use of linseed
oil and vinegar) and pyramidically prismatic central chandelier lustre,
bentwood perch with fingertame parrot (expurgated language), embossed
mural paper at 10/- per dozen with transverse swags of carmine floral
design and top crown frieze, staircase, three continuous flights at
successive right angles, of varnished cleargrained oak, treads and
risers, newel, balusters and handrail, with steppedup panel dado,
dressed with camphorated wax: bathroom, hot and cold supply, reclining
and shower: water closet on mezzanine provided with opaque singlepane
oblong window, tipup seat, bracket lamp, brass tierod and brace,
armrests, footstool and artistic oleograph on inner face of door:
ditto, plain: servants' apartments with separate sanitary and hygienic
necessaries for cook, general and betweenmaid (salary, rising by
biennial unearned increments of 2 pounds, with comprehensive fidelity
insurance, annual bonus (1 pound) and retiring allowance (based on
the 65 system) after 30 years' service), pantry, buttery, larder,
refrigerator, outoffices, coal and wood cellarage with winebin (still
and sparkling vintages) for distinguished guests, if entertained to
dinner (evening dress), carbon monoxide gas supply throughout.
What additional attractions might the grounds contain?
As addenda, a tennis and fives court, a shrubbery, a glass summerhouse
with tropical palms, equipped in the best botanical manner, a rockery
with waterspray, a beehive arranged on humane principles, oval
flowerbeds in rectangular grassplots set with eccentric ellipses of
scarlet and chrome tulips, blue scillas, crocuses, polyanthus, sweet
William, sweet pea, lily of the valley (bulbs obtainable from sir James
W. Mackey (Limited) wholesale and retail seed and bulb merchants and
nurserymen, agents for chemical manures, 23 Sackville street, upper), an
orchard, kitchen garden and vinery protected against illegal trespassers
by glasstopped mural enclosures, a lumbershed with padlock for various
inventoried implements.
As?
Eeltraps, lobsterpots, fishingrods, hatchet, steelyard, grindstone,
clodcrusher, swatheturner, carriagesack, telescope ladder, 10 tooth
rake, washing clogs, haytedder, tumbling rake, billhook, paintpot,
brush, hoe and so on.
What improvements might be subsequently introduced?
A rabbitry and fowlrun, a dovecote, a botanical conservatory, 2 hammocks
(lady's and gentleman's), a sundial shaded and sheltered by laburnum
or lilac trees, an exotically harmonically accorded Japanese tinkle
gatebell affixed to left lateral gatepost, a capacious waterbutt,
a lawnmower with side delivery and grassbox, a lawnsprinkler with
hydraulic hose.
What facilities of transit were desirable?
When citybound frequent connection by train or tram from their
respective intermediate station or terminal. When countrybound
velocipedes, a chainless freewheel roadster cycle with side basketcar
attached, or draught conveyance, a donkey with wicker trap or smart
phaeton with good working solidungular cob (roan gelding, 14 h).
What might be the name of this erigible or erected residence?
Bloom Cottage. Saint Leopold's. Flowerville.
Could Bloom of 7 Eccles street foresee Bloom of Flowerville?
In loose allwool garments with Harris tweed cap, price 8/6, and useful
garden boots with elastic gussets and wateringcan, planting aligned
young firtrees, syringing, pruning, staking, sowing hayseed, trundling a
weedladen wheelbarrow without excessive fatigue at sunset amid the scent
of newmown hay, ameliorating the soil, multiplying wisdom, achieving
longevity.
What syllabus of intellectual pursuits was simultaneously possible?
Snapshot photography, comparative study of religions, folklore relative
to various amatory and superstitious practices, contemplation of the
celestial constellations.
What lighter recreations?
Outdoor: garden and fieldwork, cycling on level macadamised causeways
ascents of moderately high hills, natation in secluded fresh water and
unmolested river boating in secure wherry or light curricle with kedge
anchor on reaches free from weirs and rapids (period of estivation),
vespertinal perambulation or equestrian circumprocession with inspection
of sterile landscape and contrastingly agreeable cottagers' fires of
smoking peat turves (period of hibernation). Indoor: discussion in
tepid security of unsolved historical and criminal problems: lecture of
unexpurgated exotic erotic masterpieces: house carpentry with toolbox
containing hammer, awl nails, screws, tintacks, gimlet, tweezers,
bullnose plane and turnscrew. Might he become a gentleman farmer of
field produce and live stock?
Not impossibly, with 1 or 2 stripper cows, 1 pike of upland hay and
requisite farming implements, e. g. , an end-to-end churn, a turnip pulper
etc.
What would be his civic functions and social status among the county
families and landed gentry?
Arranged successively in ascending powers of hierarchical order, that
of gardener, groundsman, cultivator, breeder, and at the zenith of his
career, resident magistrate or justice of the peace with a family crest
and coat of arms and appropriate classical motto _(Semper paratus_),
duly recorded in the court directory (Bloom, Leopold P. , M. P. , P. C. ,
K. P. , L. L. D. (_honoris causa_), Bloomville, Dundrum) and mentioned in
court and fashionable intelligence (Mr and Mrs Leopold Bloom have left
Kingstown for England).
What course of action did he outline for himself in such capacity?
A course that lay between undue clemency and excessive rigour:
the dispensation in a heterogeneous society of arbitrary classes,
incessantly rearranged in terms of greater and lesser social inequality,
of unbiassed homogeneous indisputable justice, tempered with mitigants
of the widest possible latitude but exactable to the uttermost farthing
with confiscation of estate, real and personal, to the crown. Loyal to
the highest constituted power in the land, actuated by an innate love of
rectitude his aims would be the strict maintenance of public order,
the repression of many abuses though not of all simultaneously (every
measure of reform or retrenchment being a preliminary solution to be
contained by fluxion in the final solution), the upholding of the letter
of the law (common, statute and law merchant) against all traversers in
covin and trespassers acting in contravention of bylaws and regulations,
all resuscitators (by trespass and petty larceny of kindlings) of
venville rights, obsolete by desuetude, all orotund instigators
of international persecution, all perpetuators of international
animosities, all menial molestors of domestic conviviality, all
recalcitrant violators of domestic connubiality.
Prove that he had loved rectitude from his earliest youth.
To Master Percy Apjohn at High School in 1880 he had divulged his
disbelief in the tenets of the Irish (protestant) church (to which his
father Rudolf Virag (later Rudolph Bloom) had been converted from the
Israelitic faith and communion in 1865 by the Society for promoting
Christianity among the jews) subsequently abjured by him in favour of
Roman catholicism at the epoch of and with a view to his matrimony
in 1888. To Daniel Magrane and Francis Wade in 1882 during a juvenile
friendship (terminated by the premature emigration of the former) he
had advocated during nocturnal perambulations the political theory of
colonial (e. g. Canadian) expansion and the evolutionary theories of
Charles Darwin, expounded in _The Descent of Man_ and _The Origin
of Species_. In 1885 he had publicly expressed his adherence to the
collective and national economic programme advocated by James Fintan
Lalor, John Fisher Murray, John Mitchel, J. F. X. O'Brien and others,
the agrarian policy of Michael Davitt, the constitutional agitation of
Charles Stewart Parnell (M. P. for Cork City), the programme of
peace, retrenchment and reform of William Ewart Gladstone (M. P. for
Midlothian, N. B. ) and, in support of his political convictions, had
climbed up into a secure position amid the ramifications of a tree
on Northumberland road to see the entrance (2 February 1888) into the
capital of a demonstrative torchlight procession of 20,000 torchbearers,
divided into 120 trade corporations, bearing 2000 torches in escort of
the marquess of Ripon and (honest) John Morley.
How much and how did he propose to pay for this country residence?
As per prospectus of the Industrious Foreign Acclimatised Nationalised
Friendly Stateaided Building Society (incorporated 1874), a maximum
of 60 pounds per annum, being 1/6 of an assured income, derived from
giltedged securities, representing at 5 % simple interest on capital of
1200 pounds (estimate of price at 20 years' purchase), of which to be
paid on acquisition and the balance in the form of annual rent, viz. 800
pounds plus 2 1/2 % interest on the same, repayable quarterly in equal
annual instalments until extinction by amortisation of loan advanced for
purchase within a period of 20 years, amounting to an annual rental of
64 pounds, headrent included, the titledeeds to remain in possession
of the lender or lenders with a saving clause envisaging forced sale,
foreclosure and mutual compensation in the event of protracted failure
to pay the terms assigned, otherwise the messuage to become the absolute
property of the tenant occupier upon expiry of the period of years
stipulated.
What rapid but insecure means to opulence might facilitate immediate
purchase?
A private wireless telegraph which would transmit by dot and dash system
the result of a national equine handicap (flat or steeplechase) of I or
more miles and furlongs won by an outsider at odds of 50 to 1 at 3 hr
8 m p. m. at Ascot (Greenwich time), the message being received and
available for betting purposes in Dublin at 2. 59 p. m. (Dunsink time).
The unexpected discovery of an object of great monetary value (precious
stone, valuable adhesive or impressed postage stamps (7 schilling,
mauve, imperforate, Hamburg, 1866: 4 pence, rose, blue paper, perforate,
Great Britain, 1855: 1 franc, stone, official, rouletted, diagonal
surcharge, Luxemburg, 1878), antique dynastical ring, unique relic) in
unusual repositories or by unusual means: from the air (dropped by an
eagle in flight), by fire (amid the carbonised remains of an incendiated
edifice), in the sea (amid flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict), on
earth (in the gizzard of a comestible fowl). A Spanish prisoner's
donation of a distant treasure of valuables or specie or bullion lodged
with a solvent banking corporation loo years previously at 5% compound
interest of the collective worth of 5,000,000 pounds stg (five million
pounds sterling). A contract with an inconsiderate contractee for the
delivery of 32 consignments of some given commodity in consideration of
cash payment on delivery per delivery at the initial rate of 1/4d to be
increased constantly in the geometrical progression of 2 (1/4d, 1/2d,
1d, 2d, 4d, 8d, 1s 4d, 2s 8d to 32 terms). A prepared scheme
based on a study of the laws of probability to break the bank at Monte
Carlo. A solution of the secular problem of the quadrature of the
circle, government premium 1,000,000 pounds sterling.
Was vast wealth acquirable through industrial channels?
The reclamation of dunams of waste arenary soil, proposed in the
prospectus of Agendath Netaim, Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 15, by the
cultivation of orange plantations and melonfields and reafforestation.
The utilisation of waste paper, fells of sewer rodents, human excrement
possessing chemical properties, in view of the vast production of the
first, vast number of the second and immense quantity of the third,
every normal human being of average vitality and appetite producing
annually, cancelling byproducts of water, a sum total of 80 lbs. (mixed
animal and vegetable diet), to be multiplied by 4,386,035, the total
population of Ireland according to census returns of 1901.
Were there schemes of wider scope?
A scheme to be formulated and submitted for approval to the harbour
commissioners for the exploitation of white coal (hydraulic power),
obtained by hydroelectric plant at peak of tide at Dublin bar or at
head of water at Poulaphouca or Powerscourt or catchment basins of main
streams for the economic production of 500,000 W. H. P. of electricity.
A scheme to enclose the peninsular delta of the North Bull at Dollymount
and erect on the space of the foreland, used for golf links and rifle
ranges, an asphalted esplanade with casinos, booths, shooting galleries,
hotels, boardinghouses, readingrooms, establishments for mixed bathing.
A scheme for the use of dogvans and goatvans for the delivery of early
morning milk. A scheme for the development of Irish tourist traffic in
and around Dublin by means of petrolpropelled riverboats, plying in the
fluvial fairway between Island bridge and Ringsend, charabancs, narrow
gauge local railways, and pleasure steamers for coastwise navigation
(10/- per person per day, guide (trilingual) included). A scheme for
the repristination of passenger and goods traffics over Irish waterways,
when freed from weedbeds. A scheme to connect by tramline the Cattle
Market (North Circular road and Prussia street) with the quays (Sheriff
street, lower, and East Wall), parallel with the Link line railway
laid (in conjunction with the Great Southern and Western railway line)
between the cattle park, Liffey junction, and terminus of Midland Great
Western Railway 43 to 45 North
Wall, in proximity to the terminal stations or Dublin branches of Great
Central Railway, Midland Railway of England, City of Dublin Steam Packet
Company, Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway Company, Dublin and Glasgow
Steam Packet Company, Glasgow, Dublin and Londonderry Steam Packet
Company (Laird line), British and Irish Steam Packet Company, Dublin
and Morecambe Steamers, London and North Western Railway Company, Dublin
Port and Docks Board Landing Sheds and transit sheds of Palgrave, Murphy
and Company, steamship owners, agents for steamers from Mediterranean,
Spain, Portugal, France, Belgium and Holland and for Liverpool
Underwriters' Association, the cost of acquired rolling stock for
animal transport and of additional mileage operated by the Dublin United
Tramways Company, limited, to be covered by graziers' fees.
Positing what protasis would the contraction for such several schemes
become a natural and necessary apodosis?
Given a guarantee equal to the sum sought, the support, by deed of
gift and transfer vouchers during donor's lifetime or by bequest
after donor's painless extinction, of eminent financiers (Blum Pasha,
Rothschild Guggenheim, Hirsch, Montefiore, Morgan, Rockefeller)
possessing fortunes in 6 figures, amassed during a successful life, and
joining capital with opportunity the thing required was done.
What eventuality would render him independent of such wealth?
The independent discovery of a goldseam of inexhaustible ore.
For what reason did he meditate on schemes so difficult of realisation?
It was one of his axioms that similar meditations or the automatic
relation to himself of a narrative concerning himself or tranquil
recollection of the past when practised habitually before retiring for
the night alleviated fatigue and produced as a result sound repose and
renovated vitality.
His justifications?
As a physicist he had learned that of the 70 years of complete human
life at least 2/7, viz. 20 years are passed in sleep. As a philosopher
he knew that at the termination of any allotted life only an
infinitesimal part of any person's desires has been realised. As a
physiologist he believed in the artificial placation of malignant
agencies chiefly operative during somnolence.
What did he fear?
The committal of homicide or suicide during sleep by an aberration
of the light of reason, the incommensurable categorical intelligence
situated in the cerebral convolutions.
What were habitually his final meditations?
Of some one sole unique advertisement to cause passers to stop in
wonder, a poster novelty, with all extraneous accretions excluded,
reduced to its simplest and most efficient terms not exceeding the span
of casual vision and congruous with the velocity of modern life.
What did the first drawer unlocked contain?
A Vere Foster's handwriting copybook, property of Milly (Millicent)
Bloom, certain pages of which bore diagram drawings, marked _Papli_,
which showed a large globular head with 5 hairs erect, 2 eyes in
profile, the trunk full front with 3 large buttons, 1 triangular foot: 2
fading photographs of queen Alexandra of England and of Maud Branscombe,
actress and professional beauty: a Yuletide card, bearing on it a
pictorial representation of a parasitic plant, the legend _Mizpah_, the
date Xmas 1892, the name of the senders: from Mr + Mrs M. Comerford, the
versicle: _May this Yuletide bring to thee, Joy and peace and welcome
glee_: a butt of red partly liquefied sealing wax, obtained from the
stores department of Messrs Hely's, Ltd. , 89, 90, and 91 Dame street:
a box containing the remainder of a gross of gilt "J" pennibs, obtained
from same department of same firm: an old sandglass which rolled
containing sand which rolled: a sealed prophecy (never unsealed) written
by Leopold Bloom in 1886 concerning the consequences of the passing into
law of William Ewart Gladstone's Home Rule bill of 1886 (never passed
into law): a bazaar ticket, no 2004, of S. Kevin's Charity Fair, price
6d, 100 prizes: an infantile epistle, dated, small em monday, reading:
capital pee Papli comma capital aitch How are you note of interrogation
capital eye I am very well full stop new paragraph signature with
flourishes capital em Milly no stop: a cameo brooch, property of Ellen
Bloom (born Higgins), deceased: a cameo scarfpin, property of Rudolph
Bloom (born Virag), deceased: 3 typewritten letters, addressee, Henry
Flower, c/o. P. O. Westland Row, addresser, Martha Clifford, c/o. P. O.
Dolphin's Barn: the transliterated name and address of the addresser
of the 3 letters in reversed alphabetic boustrophedonic punctated
quadrilinear cryptogram (vowels suppressed) N. IGS. /WI. UU. OX/W. OKS.
MH/Y. IM: a press cutting from an English weekly periodical _Modern
Society_, subject corporal chastisement in girls' schools: a pink ribbon
which had festooned an Easter egg in the year 1899: two partly uncoiled
rubber preservatives with reserve pockets, purchased by post from Box
32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : 1 pack of 1 dozen creamlaid
envelopes and feintruled notepaper, watermarked, now reduced by 3: some
assorted Austrian-Hungarian coins: 2 coupons of the Royal and Privileged
Hungarian Lottery: a lowpower magnifying glass: 2 erotic photocards
showing a) buccal coition between nude senorita (rere presentation,
superior position) and nude torero (fore presentation, inferior
position) b) anal violation by male religious (fully clothed, eyes
abject) of female religious (partly clothed, eyes direct), purchased by
post from Box 32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : a press cutting
of recipe for renovation of old tan boots: a Id adhesive stamp,
lavender, of the reign of Queen Victoria: a chart of the measurements
of Leopold Bloom compiled before, during and after 2 months' consecutive
use of Sandow-Whiteley's pulley exerciser (men's 15/-, athlete's 20/-)
viz. chest 28 in and 29 1/2 in, biceps 9 in and 10 in, forearm 8 1/2 in
and 9 in, thigh 10 in and 12 in, calf 11 in and 12 in: 1 prospectus of
The Wonderworker, the world's greatest remedy for rectal complaints,
direct from Wonderworker, Coventry House, South Place, London E C,
addressed (erroneously) to Mrs L. Bloom with brief accompanying note
commencing (erroneously): Dear Madam.
Quote the textual terms in which the prospectus claimed advantages for
this thaumaturgic remedy.
It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breaking
wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant relief
in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural action, an
initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth living.
Ladies find Wonderworker especially useful, a pleasant surprise when
they note delightful result like a cool drink of fresh spring water on
a sultry summer's day. Recommend it to your lady and gentlemen friends,
lasts a lifetime. Insert long round end. Wonderworker.
Were there testimonials?
Numerous. From clergyman, British naval officer, wellknown author, city
man, hospital nurse, lady, mother of five, absentminded beggar.
How did absentminded beggar's concluding testimonial conclude?
What a pity the government did not supply our men with wonderworkers
during the South African campaign! What a relief it would have been!
What object did Bloom add to this collection of objects?
A 4th typewritten letter received by Henry Flower (let H. F. be L. B. )
from Martha Clifford (find M. C. ).
What pleasant reflection accompanied this action?
The reflection that, apart from the letter in question, his magnetic
face, form and address had been favourably received during the course of
the preceding day by a wife (Mrs Josephine Breen, born Josie Powell),
a nurse, Miss Callan (Christian name unknown), a maid, Gertrude (Gerty,
family name unknown).
What possibility suggested itself?
The possibility of exercising virile power of fascination in the not
immediate future after an expensive repast in a private apartment in
the company of an elegant courtesan, of corporal beauty, moderately
mercenary, variously instructed, a lady by origin.
What did the 2nd drawer contain?
Documents: the birth certificate of Leopold Paula Bloom: an endowment
assurance policy of 500 pounds in the Scottish Widows' Assurance
Society, intestated Millicent (Milly) Bloom, coming into force at 25
years as with profit policy of 430 pounds, 462/10/0 and 500 pounds at
60 years or death, 65 years or death and death, respectively, or
with profit policy (paidup) of 299/10/0 together with cash payment of
133/10/0, at option: a bank passbook issued by the Ulster Bank, College
Green branch showing statement of a/c for halfyear ending 31 December
1903, balance in depositor's favour: 18/14/6 (eighteen pounds, fourteen
shillings and sixpence, sterling), net personalty: certificate of
possession of 900 pounds, Canadian 4 percent (inscribed) government
stock (free of stamp duty): dockets of the Catholic Cemeteries'
(Glasnevin) Committee, relative to a graveplot purchased: a local press
cutting concerning change of name by deedpoll.
Quote the textual terms of this notice.
I, Rudolph Virag, now resident at no 52 Clanbrassil street, Dublin,
formerly of Szombathely in the kingdom of Hungary, hereby give notice
that I have assumed and intend henceforth upon all occasions and at all
times to be known by the name of Rudolph Bloom.
What other objects relative to Rudolph Bloom (born Virag) were in the
2nd drawer?
An indistinct daguerreotype of Rudolf Virag and his father Leopold
Virag executed in the year 1852 in the portrait atelier of their
(respectively) 1st and 2nd cousin, Stefan Virag of Szesfehervar,
Hungary. An ancient haggadah book in which a pair of hornrimmed convex
spectacles inserted marked the passage of thanksgiving in the ritual
prayers for Pessach (Passover): a photocard of the Queen's Hotel,
Ennis, proprietor, Rudolph Bloom: an envelope addressed: _To My Dear Son
Leopold_.
What fractions of phrases did the lecture of those five whole words
evoke?
Tomorrow will be a week that I received. . . it is no use Leopold to be
. . . with your dear mother. . . that is not more to stand. . . to her. . .
all for me is out. . . be kind to Athos, Leopold. . . my dear son. . .
always. . . of me. . . _das Herz. . . Gott. . . dein_. . .
What reminiscences of a human subject suffering from progressive
melancholia did these objects evoke in Bloom?
An old man, widower, unkempt of hair, in bed, with head covered,
sighing: an infirm dog, Athos: aconite, resorted to by increasing doses
of grains and scruples as a palliative of recrudescent neuralgia: the
face in death of a septuagenarian, suicide by poison.
Why did Bloom experience a sentiment of remorse?
Because in immature impatience he had treated with disrespect certain
beliefs and practices.
As?
The prohibition of the use of fleshmeat and milk at one meal: the
hebdomadary symposium of incoordinately abstract, perfervidly concrete
mercantile coexreligionist excompatriots: the circumcision of
male infants: the supernatural character of Judaic scripture: the
ineffability of the tetragrammaton: the sanctity of the sabbath.
How did these beliefs and practices now appear to him?
Not more rational than they had then appeared, not less rational than
other beliefs and practices now appeared.
What first reminiscence had he of Rudolph Bloom (deceased)?
Rudolph Bloom (deceased) narrated to his son Leopold Bloom (aged 6) a
retrospective arrangement of migrations and settlements in and between
Dublin, London, Florence, Milan, Vienna, Budapest, Szombathely with
statements of satisfaction (his grandfather having seen Maria Theresia,
empress of Austria, queen of Hungary), with commercial advice (having
taken care of pence, the pounds having taken care of themselves).
Leopold Bloom (aged 6) had accompanied these narrations by constant
consultation of a geographical map of Europe (political) and by
suggestions for the establishment of affiliated business premises in the
various centres mentioned.
Had time equally but differently obliterated the memory of these
migrations in narrator and listener?
In narrator by the access of years and in consequence of the use of
narcotic toxin: in listener by the access of years and in consequence of
the action of distraction upon vicarious experiences.
What idiosyncracies of the narrator were concomitant products of
amnesia?
Occasionally he ate without having previously removed his hat.
Occasionally he drank voraciously the juice of gooseberry fool from an
inclined plate. Occasionally he removed from his lips the traces of food
by means of a lacerated envelope or other accessible fragment of paper.
What two phenomena of senescence were more frequent?
The myopic digital calculation of coins, eructation consequent upon
repletion.
What object offered partial consolation for these reminiscences?
The endowment policy, the bank passbook, the certificate of the
possession of scrip.
Reduce Bloom by cross multiplication of reverses of fortune, from which
these supports protected him, and by elimination of all positive values
to a negligible negative irrational unreal quantity.
Successively, in descending helotic order: Poverty: that of the outdoor
hawker of imitation jewellery, the dun for the recovery of bad and
doubtful debts, the poor rate and deputy cess collector. Mendicancy:
that of the fraudulent bankrupt with negligible assets paying 1s. 4d.
in the pound, sandwichman, distributor of throwaways, nocturnal vagrant,
insinuating sycophant, maimed sailor, blind stripling, superannuated
bailiffs man, marfeast, lickplate, spoilsport, pickthank, eccentric
public laughingstock seated on bench of public park under discarded
perforated umbrella. Destitution: the inmate of Old Man's House (Royal
Hospital) Kilmainham, the inmate of Simpson's Hospital for reduced but
respectable men permanently disabled by gout or want of sight. Nadir of
misery: the aged impotent disfranchised ratesupported moribund lunatic
pauper.
With which attendant indignities?
The unsympathetic indifference of previously amiable females, the
contempt of muscular males, the acceptance of fragments of bread,
the simulated ignorance of casual acquaintances, the latration of
illegitimate unlicensed vagabond dogs, the infantile discharge of
decomposed vegetable missiles, worth little or nothing, nothing or less
than nothing.
By what could such a situation be precluded?
By decease (change of state): by departure (change of place).
Which preferably?
The latter, by the line of least resistance.
What considerations rendered departure not entirely undesirable?
Constant cohabitation impeding mutual toleration of personal defects.
The habit of independent purchase increasingly cultivated. The necessity
to counteract by impermanent sojourn the permanence of arrest.
What considerations rendered departure not irrational?
The parties concerned, uniting, had increased and multiplied, which
being done, offspring produced and educed to maturity, the parties, if
not disunited were obliged to reunite for increase and multiplication,
which was absurd, to form by reunion the original couple of uniting
parties, which was impossible.
What considerations rendered departure desirable?
The attractive character of certain localities in Ireland and abroad,
as represented in general geographical maps of polychrome design or
in special ordnance survey charts by employment of scale numerals and
hachures.
In Ireland?
The cliffs of Moher, the windy wilds of Connemara, lough Neagh with
submerged petrified city, the Giant's Causeway, Fort Camden and Fort
Carlisle, the Golden Vale of Tipperary, the islands of Aran, the
pastures of royal Meath, Brigid's elm in Kildare, the Queen's Island
shipyard in Belfast, the Salmon Leap, the lakes of Killarney.
Abroad?
Ceylon (with spicegardens supplying tea to Thomas Kernan, agent for
Pulbrook, Robertson and Co, 2 Mincing Lane, London, E. C. , 5 Dame
street, Dublin), Jerusalem, the holy city (with mosque of Omar and gate
of Damascus, goal of aspiration), the straits of Gibraltar (the unique
birthplace of Marion Tweedy), the Parthenon (containing statues of nude
Grecian divinities), the Wall street money market (which controlled
international finance), the Plaza de Toros at La Linea, Spain (where
O'Hara of the Camerons had slain the bull), Niagara (over which no human
being had passed with impunity), the land of the Eskimos (eaters
of soap), the forbidden country of Thibet (from which no traveller
returns), the bay of Naples (to see which was to die), the Dead Sea.
Under what guidance, following what signs?
At sea, septentrional, by night the polestar, located at the point of
intersection of the right line from beta to alpha in Ursa Maior produced
and divided externally at omega and the hypotenuse of the rightangled
triangle formed by the line alpha omega so produced and the line alpha
delta of Ursa Maior. On land, meridional, a bispherical moon, revealed
in imperfect varying phases of lunation through the posterior interstice
of the imperfectly occluded skirt of a carnose negligent perambulating
female, a pillar of the cloud by day.
What public advertisement would divulge the occultation of the departed?
5 pounds reward, lost, stolen or strayed from his residence 7 Eccles
street, missing gent about 40, answering to the name of Bloom, Leopold
(Poldy), height 5 ft 9 1/2 inches, full build, olive complexion, may
have since grown a beard, when last seen was wearing a black suit. Above
sum will be paid for information leading to his discovery.
What universal binomial denominations would be his as entity and
nonentity?
Assumed by any or known to none. Everyman or Noman.
What tributes his?
Honour and gifts of strangers, the friends of Everyman. A nymph
immortal, beauty, the bride of Noman.
Would the departed never nowhere nohow reappear?
Ever he would wander, selfcompelled, to the extreme limit of his
cometary orbit, beyond the fixed stars and variable suns and telescopic
planets, astronomical waifs and strays, to the extreme boundary of
space, passing from land to land, among peoples, amid events. Somewhere
imperceptibly he would hear and somehow reluctantly, suncompelled, obey
the summons of recall. Whence, disappearing from the constellation of
the Northern Crown he would somehow reappear reborn above delta in the
constellation of Cassiopeia and after incalculable eons of peregrination
return an estranged avenger, a wreaker of justice on malefactors, a dark
crusader, a sleeper awakened, with financial resources (by supposition)
surpassing those of Rothschild or the silver king.
What would render such return irrational?
An unsatisfactory equation between an exodus and return in time through
reversible space and an exodus and return in space through irreversible
time.
What play of forces, inducing inertia, rendered departure undesirable?
The lateness of the hour, rendering procrastinatory: the obscurity
of the night, rendering invisible: the uncertainty of thoroughfares,
rendering perilous: the necessity for repose, obviating movement: the
proximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation of
warmth (human) tempered with coolness (linen), obviating desire and
rendering desirable: the statue of Narcissus, sound without echo,
desired desire.
What advantages were possessed by an occupied, as distinct from an
unoccupied bed?
The removal of nocturnal solitude, the superior quality of human
(mature female) to inhuman (hotwaterjar) calefaction, the stimulation of
matutinal contact, the economy of mangling done on the premises in the
case of trousers accurately folded and placed lengthwise between the
spring mattress (striped) and the woollen mattress (biscuit section).
What past consecutive causes, before rising preapprehended, of
accumulated fatigue did Bloom, before rising, silently recapitulate?
The preparation of breakfast (burnt offering): intestinal congestion and
premeditative defecation (holy of holies): the bath (rite of John): the
funeral (rite of Samuel): the advertisement of Alexander Keyes (Urim and
Thummim): the unsubstantial lunch (rite of Melchisedek): the visit to
museum and national library (holy place): the bookhunt along Bedford
row, Merchants' Arch, Wellington Quay (Simchath Torah): the music in the
Ormond Hotel (Shira Shirim): the altercation with a truculent troglodyte
in Bernard Kiernan's premises (holocaust): a blank period of time
including a cardrive, a visit to a house of mourning, a leavetaking
(wilderness): the eroticism produced by feminine exhibitionism (rite of
Onan): the prolonged delivery of Mrs Mina Purefoy (heave offering):
the visit to the disorderly house of Mrs Bella Cohen, 82 Tyrone
street, lower and subsequent brawl and chance medley in Beaver street
(Armageddon)--nocturnal perambulation to and from the cabman's shelter,
Butt Bridge (atonement).
What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as to
conclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?
The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted by
the insentient material of a strainveined timber table.
What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gathering multicoloured
multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarily apprehending, not
comprehend?
Who was M'Intosh?
What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30
years did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by the extinction
of artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?
Where was Moses when the candle went out?
What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged with
collected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel, silently,
successively, enumerate?
A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisement: to obtain
a certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook,
Robertson and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E.
C. ): to certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice in
the case of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitous
or paid) to the performance of Leah by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at the Gaiety
Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.
What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?
The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, Royal Dublin
Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin's Barn.
What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?
Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiens
street, with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel lines
meeting at infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced from
infinity, with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of the
Great Northern Railway, Amiens street, returning.
What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel were
perceived by him?
A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies' hose, a pair of new
violet garters, a pair of outsize ladies' drawers of India mull, cut on
generous lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti's Turkish
cigarettes and containing a long bright steel safety pin, folded
curvilinear, a camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordion
underskirt of blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposed
irregularly on the top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened,
having capped corners, with multicoloured labels, initialled on its fore
side in white lettering B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).
What impersonal objects were perceived?
A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonne
cutting, apple design, on which rested a lady's black straw hat.
Orangekeyed ware, bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinaware
and ironmongery manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposed
irregularly on the washstand and floor and consisting of basin, soapdish
and brushtray (on the washstand, together), pitcher and night article
(on the floor, separate).
Bloom's acts?
He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remaining
articles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of the
bed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into the
proper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head to
the foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered the
bed.
How?
With circumspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own or
not his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattress
being old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulous
under stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush of
lust or adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed of
conception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of
marriage, of sleep and of death.
What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?
New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,
female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,
some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.
If he had smiled why would he have smiled?
To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first to
enter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even if
the first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,
last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor
alone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.
What preceding series?
Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartell
d'Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, Father
Bernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society's Horse Show,
Maggot O'Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor
of Dublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder,
an unknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, Simon
Dedalus, Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, Alderman John
Hooper, Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, a bootblack
at the General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and so each and so
on to no last term.
What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series and
late occupant of the bed?
Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (a
billsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (a
boaster).
Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporal
proportion and commercial ability?
Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the preceding
members of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammably
transmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then with
desire, finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicene
comprehension and apprehension.
With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflections
affected?
Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.
Envy?
Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for the
superincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energetic
piston and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction of
a constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mental
female organism, passive but not obtuse.
Jealousy?
Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternately
the agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction between agent(s)
and reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportion of
increase and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radial
reentrance. Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation of
attraction produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.
Abnegation?
In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in the
establishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 Eden
Quay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated and
reappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses of
ambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)
extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracial prerogative,
e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common current expenses, net
proceeds divided.
Equanimity?
As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed or
understood executed in natured nature by natural creatures in accordance
with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilar similarity.
As not so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of the planet in
consequence of a collision with a dark sun. As less reprehensible than
theft, highway robbery, cruelty to children and animals, obtaining money
under false pretences, forgery, embezzlement, misappropriation of public
money, betrayal of public trust, malingering, mayhem, corruption of
minors, criminal libel, blackmail, contempt of court, arson, treason,
felony, mutiny on the high seas, trespass, burglary, jailbreaking,
practice of unnatural vice, desertion from armed forces in the field,
perjury, poaching, usury, intelligence with the king's enemies,
impersonation, criminal assault, manslaughter, wilful and premeditated
murder. As not more abnormal than all other parallel processes of
adaptation to altered conditions of existence, resulting in a reciprocal
equilibrium between the bodily organism and its attendant circumstances,
foods, beverages, acquired habits, indulged inclinations, significant
disease. As more than inevitable, irreparable.
Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?
From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought but
outrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimonially
violated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of the
adulterously violated.
What retribution, if any?
Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel by
combat, no. Divorce, not now.
