No More Learning

[78] Cleaenetus had passed a law to limit the number of citizens to be
fed at the Prytaneum; it may be supposed, that those, who aspired to this
distinction, sought to conciliate Cleaenetus in their favour.

[79] The Chorus of Knights, not being able to sing their own praises,
feign to divert these to their chargers.

[80] A horse branded with the obsolete letter [Greek: san]--[Symbol:
Letter 'san'], as a mark of breed or high quality.

[81] Crab was no doubt a nickname given to the Corinthians on account of
the position of their city on an isthmus between two seas. In the
'Acharnians' Theorus is mentioned as an ambassador, who had returned from
the King of Persia.

[82] The Senate was a body composed of five hundred members, elected
annually like the magistrates from the three first classes to the
exclusion of the fourth, the Thetes, which was composed of the poorest
citizens.

[83] The [Greek: moth_on], a rough, boisterous, obscene dance.

[84] At the festival of the Pyanepsia, held in honour of Athene as the
protectress of Theseus in his fight with the Minotaur, the children
carried olive branches in procession, round which strips of linen were
wound; they were then fastened up over the entrances of each house.

[85] On which the citizens sat in the Public Assembly in the Pnyx to hear
the orators. In the centre of the semicircular space the tribune stood, a
square block of stone, [Greek: B_ema], and from this the people were
addressed.

[86] Lysicles was a dealer in sheep, who had wielded great power in
Athens after the death of Pericles. Cynna and Salabaccha were two
celebrated courtesans.

[87] Place of interment for those who died for the country.

[88] Seated on the banks for the rowers.

[89] Assassin of the tyrant Hippias, the son of Pisistratus. His memory
was held in great honour at Athens.

[90] Driven out by the invasions of the Peloponnesians, the people of the
outlying districts had been obliged to seek refuge within the walls of
Athens, where they were lodged wherever they could find room.

[91] A verse borrowed from Euripides' lost play of 'Telephus. '

[92] Themistocles joined the Piraeus to Athens by the construction of the
Long Walls.

[93] Which were caught off the Piraeus.

[94] Mitylene, chief city of the Island of Lesbos, rebelled against the
Athenians and was retaken by Chares. By a popular decree the whole
manhood of the town was to suffer death, but this decree was withdrawn
the next day. Aristophanes insinuates that Cleon, bought over with
Mitylenaean gold, brought about this change of opinion. On the contrary,
Thucydides says that the decree was revoked in spite of Cleon's
opposition.

[95] When bucklers were hung up as trophies, it was usual to detach the
ring or brace, so as to render them useless for warlike purposes.

[96] An orator of debauched habits.

[97] An accusation frequently hurled at the orators.

[98] Guests took off their shoes before entering the festal hall.

[99] An allusion to Cleon's former calling of a tanner.

[100] A plant from Cyrena? ca, which was imported into Athens in large
quantities after the conclusion of a treaty of navigation, which Cleon
made with this country. It was a very highly valued flavouring for
sauces.

[101] The name of a supposed informer. The adjective, [Greek: pyrrhos],
yellow, the colour of ordure, is contained in the construction of this
name; thus a most disgusting piece of word-play is intended.

[102] The orators were for ever claiming the protection of Athene.

[103] A very expensive burden, which was imposed upon the rich citizen.
The trierarchs had to furnish both the equipment of the triremes or
war-galleys and their upkeep. They varied considerably in number and
ended in reaching a total of 1200; the most opulent found the money, and
were later repaid partly and little by little by those not so well
circumstanced. Later it was permissible for anyone, appointed as a
trierarch, to point out someone richer than himself and to ask to have
him take his place with the condition that if the other preferred, he
should exchange fortunes with him and continue his office of trierarch.

[104] This is an allusion to some extortion of Cleon's.

[105] The Greek word [Greek: d_emos] means both "The People" and fat,
grease. The pun cannot well be kept in English.

[106] A voracious bird--in allusion to Cleon's rapacity and to his
loquacity in the Assembly.

[107] The orators were fond of supporting their arguments with imaginary
oracles--and Cleon was an especial adept at this dodge.

[108] Smicythes, King of Thrace, spoken of in the oracle as a woman,
doubtless on account of his cowardice. The word pursue is here used in a
double sense, viz. in battle and in law. It is on account of this latter
meaning, that Aristophanes adds "and her spouse," because in cases in
which women were sued at law, their husbands were summoned as conjointly
liable.

[109] Because he had smashed up and turned upside down the fortunes of
Athens.

[110] The pun--rather a far-fetched one--is between the words [Greek:
D_orh_osti] (in the Dorian mode) and [Greek: d_orhon] (a bribe).

[111] A Boeotian soothsayer.

[112] A name invented by the Sausage-seller on the spur of the moment, to
cap Cleon's boast.

[113] That is, Athenian; Erectheus was an ancient mythical King of
Athens.

[114] That is, the tributes paid to Athens by the Aegaean Islands,
whether allies or subjects.

[115] The Lacedaemonian prisoners from Sphacteria, so often referred to.

[116] That is, Athenian; Cecrops was the first King of Athens, according
to the legends.

[117] There were three towns of this name in different parts of Greece.

[118] There is a pun here which it is impossible to render in English;
the Greek [Greek: Pylos](Pylos) differs by only one letter from the word
meaning a bath-tub ([Greek: Pyelos]).

[119] Cleon was reproached by his enemies with paying small attention to
the regular payment of the sailors.

[120] Another poetical term to signify Athenian; Aegeus, an ancient
mythical King of Athens, father of Theseus.

[121] Impudent as a dog and cunning as a fox.

[122] An orator and statesman of the day; practically nothing is known
about him.

[123] Another orator and statesman, accused apparently of taking bribes.

[124] As pointed out before, the orators were fond of dragging Athene
continually into their speeches.

[125] One of Cleon's proteges and flatterers. The scholiasts say he was
his secretary.

[126] Terms borrowed from the circus races.

[127] That is, at the expense of other folk.

[128] Pieces of bread, hollowed out, which were filled with mincemeat or
soup.

[129] Both Greeks and Romans drank their wine mixed with water.

[130] After his success in the Sphacteria affair Cleon induced the people
to vote him a chaplet of gold.

[131] That is, by means of the mechanical device of the Greek stage known
as the [Greek: ekkukl_ema].

[132] Parody of a well-known verse from Euripides' 'Alcestis. '

[133] The name Agoracritus is compounded: cf. [Greek: agora], a
market-place, and [Greek: krinein], to judge.

[134] This grandiloquent opening is borrowed from Pindar.

[135] Mentioned in the 'Acharnians. '

[136] A soothsayer.

[137] A flute-player.

[138] An allusion to the vice of the 'cunnilingue,' apparently a novel
form of naughtiness at Athens in Aristophanes' day.

[139] As well known for his gluttony as for his cowardice.

[140] One of the most noisy demagogues of Cleon's party; he succeeded
him, but was later condemned to ostracism.

[141] A town in Bithynia, situated at the entrance of the Bosphorus and
nearly opposite Byzantium. It was one of the most important towns in Asia
Minor. Doubtless Hyperbolus only demanded so large a fleet to terrorize
the towns and oppress them at will.

[142] These temples were inviolable places of refuge, where even slaves
were secure.

[143] A rocky cleft at the back of the Acropolis into which criminals
were hurled.

[144] Young and effeminate orators of licentious habits.

[145] By adroit special pleading he had contrived to get his acquittal,
when charged with a capital offence.

[146] They were personified on the stage as pretty little _filles de
joie_.




THE ACHARNIANS




INTRODUCTION

This is the first of the series of three Comedies--'The Acharnians,'
'Peace' and 'Lysistrata'--produced at intervals of years, the sixth,
tenth and twenty-first of the Peloponnesian War, and impressing on the
Athenian people the miseries and disasters due to it and to the
scoundrels who by their selfish and reckless policy had provoked it, the
consequent ruin of industry and, above all, agriculture, and the urgency
of asking Peace. In date it is the earliest play brought out by the
author in his own name and his first work of serious importance. It was
acted at the Lenaean Festival, in January, 426 B. C. , and gained the first
prize, Cratinus being second.

Its diatribes against the War and fierce criticism of the general policy
of the War party so enraged Cleon that, as already mentioned, he
endeavoured to ruin the author, who in 'The Knights' retorted by a direct
and savage personal attack on the leader of the democracy. The plot is of
the simplest. Dicaeopolis, an Athenian citizen, but a native of Acharnae,
one of the agricultural _demes_ and one which had especially suffered in
the Lacedaemonian invasions, sick and tired of the ill-success and
miseries of the War, makes up his mind, if he fails to induce the people
to adopt his policy of "peace at any price," to conclude a private and
particular peace of his own to cover himself, his family, and his estate.
The Athenians, momentarily elated by victory and over-persuaded by the
demagogues of the day--Cleon and his henchmen, refuse to hear of such a
thing as coming to terms. Accordingly Dicaeopolis dispatches an envoy to
Sparta on his own account, who comes back presently with a selection of
specimen treaties in his pocket. The old man tastes and tries, special
terms are arranged, and the play concludes with a riotous and uproarious
rustic feast in honour of the blessings of Peace and Plenty. Incidentally
excellent fun is poked at Euripides and his dramatic methods, which
supply matter for so much witty badinage in several others of our
author's pieces.

Other specially comic incidents are: the scene where the two young
daughters of the famished Megarian are sold in the market at Athens as
sucking-pigs--a scene in which the convenient similarity of the Greek
words signifying a pig and the 'pudendum muliebre' respectively is
utilized in a whole string of ingenious and suggestive 'double entendres'
and ludicrous jokes; another where the Informer, or Market-Spy, is packed
up in a crate as crockery and carried off home by the Boeotian buyer.

The drama takes its title from the Chorus, composed of old men of
Acharnae.

* * * * *

THE ACHARNIANS


DRAMATIS PERSONAE

DICAEOPOLIS.
HERALD.
AMPHITHEUS.
AMBASSADORS.
PSEUDARTABAS.
THEORUS.
WIFE OF DICAEOPOLIS.
DAUGHTER OF DICAEOPOLIS.
EURIPIDES.
CEPHISOPHON, servant of Euripides.
LAMACHUS.
ATTENDANT OF LAMACHUS.
A MEGARIAN.
MAIDENS, daughters of the Megarian.
A BOEOTIAN.
NICARCHUS.
A HUSBANDMAN.
A BRIDESMAID.
AN INFORMER.
MESSENGERS.
CHORUS OF ACHARNIAN ELDERS.

SCENE: The Athenian Ecclesia on the Pnyx; afterwards Dicaeopolis' house
in the country.

* * * * *

THE ACHARNIANS


DICAEOPOLIS[147] (_alone_). What cares have not gnawed at my heart and
how few have been the pleasures in my life! Four, to be exact, while my
troubles have been as countless as the grains of sand on the shore! Let
me see of what value to me have been these few pleasures? Ah! I remember
that I was delighted in soul when Cleon had to disgorge those five
talents;[148] I was in ecstasy and I love the Knights for this deed; 'it
is an honour to Greece. '[149] But the day when I was impatiently awaiting
a piece by Aeschylus,[150] what tragic despair it caused me when the
herald called, "Theognis,[151] introduce your Chorus! " Just imagine how
this blow struck straight at my heart! On the other hand, what joy
Dexitheus caused me at the musical competition, when he played a Boeotian
melody on the lyre! But this year by contrast! Oh! what deadly torture to
hear Chaeris[152] perform the prelude in the Orthian mode! [153]--Never,
however, since I began to bathe, has the dust hurt my eyes as it does
to-day. Still it is the day of assembly; all should be here at daybreak,
and yet the Pnyx[154] is still deserted. They are gossiping in the
market-place, slipping hither and thither to avoid the vermilioned
rope. [155] The Prytanes[156] even do not come; they will be late, but
when they come they will push and fight each other for a seat in the
front row. They will never trouble themselves with the question of peace.
Oh! Athens! Athens! As for myself, I do not fail to come here before all
the rest, and now, finding myself alone, I groan, yawn, stretch, break
wind, and know not what to do; I make sketches in the dust, pull out my
loose hairs, muse, think of my fields, long for peace, curse town life
and regret my dear country home,[157] which never told me to 'buy fuel,
vinegar or oil'; there the word 'buy,' which cuts me in two, was unknown;
I harvested everything at will. Therefore I have come to the assembly
fully prepared to bawl, interrupt and abuse the speakers, if they talk of
aught but peace. But here come the Prytanes, and high time too, for it is
midday! As I foretold, hah! is it not so? They are pushing and fighting
for the front seats.

HERALD. Move on up, move on, move on, to get within the consecrated
area. [158]

AMPHITHEUS. Has anyone spoken yet?

HERALD. Who asks to speak?

AMPHITHEUS. I do.

HERALD. Your name?

AMPHITHEUS. Amphitheus.

HERALD. You are no man. [159]

AMPHITHEUS. No! I am an immortal! Amphitheus was the son of Ceres and
Triptolemus; of him was born Celeus. Celeus wedded Phaencrete, my
grandmother, whose son was Lucinus, and, being born of him, I am an
immortal; it is to me alone that the gods have entrusted the duty of
treating with the Lacedaemonians. But, citizens, though I am immortal, I
am dying of hunger; the Prytanes give me naught. [160]

A PRYTANIS. Guards!

AMPHITHEUS. Oh, Triptolemus and Ceres, do ye thus forsake your own blood?

DICAEOPOLIS. Prytanes, in expelling this citizen, you are offering an
outrage to the Assembly. He only desired to secure peace for us and to
sheathe the sword.

PRYTANIS. Sit down and keep silence!

DICAEOPOLIS. No, by Apollo, will I not, unless you are going to discuss
the question of peace.

HERALD. The ambassadors, who are returned from the Court of the King!

DICAEOPOLIS. Of what King? I am sick of all those fine birds, the peacock
ambassadors and their swagger.

HERALD. Silence!

DICAEOPOLIS. Oh! oh! by Ecbatana,[161] what assumption!

AN AMBASSADOR. During the archonship of Euthymenes, you sent us to the
Great King on a salary of two drachmae per diem.

DICAEOPOLIS. Ah! those poor drachmae!

AMBASSADOR.
We suffered horribly on the plains of the Ca? ster, sleeping
under a tent, stretched deliciously on fine chariots, half dead with
weariness.

DICAEOPOLIS. And I was very much at ease, lying on the straw along the
battlements! [162]

AMBASSADOR. Everywhere we were well received and forced to drink
delicious wine out of golden or crystal flagons. . . .

DICAEOPOLIS. Oh, city of Cranaus,[163] thy ambassadors are laughing at
thee!

AMBASSADOR. For great feeders and heavy drinkers are alone esteemed as
men by the barbarians.

DICAEOPOLIS. Just as here in Athens, we only esteem the most drunken
debauchees.

AMBASSADOR. At the end of the fourth year we reached the King's Court,
but he had left with his whole army to ease himself, and for the space of
eight months he was thus easing himself in midst of the golden
mountains. [164]

DICAEOPOLIS. And how long was he replacing his dress?

AMBASSADOR. The whole period of a full moon; after which he returned to
his palace; then he entertained us and had us served with oxen roasted
whole in an oven.

DICAEOPOLIS. Who ever saw an oxen baked in an oven? What a lie!

AMBASSADOR. On my honour, he also had us served with a bird three times
as large as Cleonymus,[165] and called the Boaster.

DICAEOPOLIS. And do we give you two drachmae, that you should treat us to
all this humbug?

AMBASSADOR. We are bringing to you, Pseudartabas,[166] the King's Eye.

DICAEOPOLIS. I would a crow might pluck out thine with his beak, thou
cursed ambassador!

HERALD. The King's Eye!

DICAEOPOLIS. Eh! Great gods! Friend, with thy great eye, round like the
hole through which the oarsman passes his sweep, you have the air of a
galley doubling a cape to gain the port.

AMBASSADOR. Come, Pseudartabas, give forth the message for the Athenians
with which you were charged by the Great King.

PSEUDARTABAS. Jartaman exarx 'anapissonnai satra. [167]

AMBASSADOR. Do you understand what he says?

DICAEOPOLIS. By Apollo, not I!

AMBASSADOR. He says, that the Great King will send you gold. Come, utter
the word 'gold' louder and more distinctly.

DICAEOPOLIS. Thou shalt not have gold, thou gaping-arsed Ionian. [168]

DICAEOPOLIS. Ah! may the gods forgive me, but that is clear enough.

AMBASSADOR. What does he say?

DICAEOPOLIS. That the Ionians are debauchees and idiots, if they expect
to receive gold from the barbarians.

AMBASSADOR. Not so, he speaks of medimni[169] of gold.


DICAEOPOLIS. What medimni? Thou art but a great braggart; but get your
way, I will find out the truth by myself. Come now, answer me clearly, if
you do not wish me to dye your skin red. Will the Great King send us
gold? (_Pseudartabas makes a negative sign. _) Then our ambassadors are
seeking to deceive us? (_Pseudartabas signs affirmatively. _) These
fellows make signs like any Greek; I am sure that they are nothing but
Athenians. Oh, ho! I recognize one of these eunuchs; it is Clisthenes,
the son of Sibyrtius. [170] Behold the effrontery of this shaven rump!
How! great baboon, with such a beard do you seek to play the eunuch to
us? And this other one? Is it not Straton?

HERALD. Silence! Let all be seated. The Senate invites the King's Eye to
the Prytaneum. [171]

DICAEOPOLIS. Is this not sufficient to drive one to hang oneself? Here I
stand chilled to the bone, whilst the doors of the Prytaneum fly wide
open to lodge such rascals. But I will do something great and bold. Where
is Amphitheus? Come and speak with me.

AMPHITHEUS. Here I am.

DICAEOPOLIS. Take these eight drachmae and go and conclude a truce with
the Lacedaemonians for me, my wife and my children; I leave you free, my
dear citizens, to send out embassies and to stand gaping in the air.

HERALD. Bring in Theorus, who has returned from the Court of
Sitalces. [172]

THEORUS. I am here.

DICAEOPOLIS. Another humbug!

THEORUS. We should not have remained long in Thrace. . . .

DICAEOPOLIS. Forsooth, no, if you had not been well paid.

THEORUS. . . . If the country had not been covered with snow; the rivers
were ice-bound at the time that Theognis[173] brought out his tragedy
here; during the whole of that time I was holding my own with Sitalces,
cup in hand; and, in truth, he adored you to such a degree, that he wrote
on the walls, "How beautiful are the Athenians! " His son, to whom we gave
the freedom of the city, burned with desire to come here and eat
chitterlings at the feast of the Apaturia;[174] he prayed his father to
come to the aid of his new country and Sitalces swore on his goblet that
he would succour us with such a host that the Athenians would exclaim,
"What a cloud of grasshoppers! "

DICAEOPOLIS. May I die if I believe a word of what you tell us! Excepting
the grasshoppers, there is not a grain of truth in it all!

THEORUS. And he has sent you the most warlike soldiers of all Thrace.

DICAEOPOLIS. Now we shall begin to see clearly.

HERALD. Come hither, Thracians, whom Theorus brought.

DICAEOPOLIS. What plague have we here?

THEORUS. 'Tis the host of the Odomanti. [175]

DICAEOPOLIS. Of the Odomanti? Tell me what it means. Who has mutilated
their tools like this?

THEORUS. If they are given a wage of two drachmae, they will put all
Boeotia[176] to fire and sword.

DICAEOPOLIS. Two drachmae to those circumcised hounds! Groan aloud, ye
people of rowers, bulwark of Athens! Ah! great gods! I am undone; these
Odomanti are robbing me of my garlic! [177] Will you give me back my
garlic?

THEORUS. Oh! wretched man! do not go near them; they have eaten
garlic. [178]

DICAEOPOLIS. Prytanes, will you let me be treated in this manner, in my
own country and by barbarians? But I oppose the discussion of paying a
wage to the Thracians; I announce an omen; I have just felt a drop of
rain. [179]

HERALD. Let the Thracians withdraw and return the day after to-morrow;
the Prytanes declare the sitting at an end.

DICAEOPOLIS. Ye gods, what garlic I have lost! But here comes Amphitheus
returned from Lacedaemon. Welcome, Amphitheus.

AMPHITHEUS. No, there is no welcome for me and I fly as fast as I can,
for I am pursued by the Acharnians.

DICAEOPOLIS. Why, what has happened?

AMPHITHEUS. I was hurrying to bring your treaty of truce, but some old
dotards from Acharnae[180] got scent of the thing; they are veterans of
Marathon, tough as oak or maple, of which they are made for sure--rough
and ruthless. They all set to a-crying, "Wretch! you are the bearer of a
treaty, and the enemy has only just cut our vines! " Meanwhile they were
gathering stones in their cloaks, so I fled and they ran after me
shouting.

DICAEOPOLIS. Let 'em shout as much as they please! But have you brought
me a treaty?

AMPHITHEUS. Most certainly, here are three samples to select from,[181]
this one is five years old; take it and taste.

DICAEOPOLIS. Faugh!

AMPHITHEUS. Well?

DICAEOPOLIS. It does not please me; it smells of pitch and of the ships
they are fitting out. [182]

AMPHITHEUS. Here is another, ten years old; taste it.

DICAEOPOLIS. It smells strongly of the delegates, who go round the towns
to chide the allies for their slowness. [183]

AMPHITHEUS. This last is a truce of thirty years, both on sea and land.

DICAEOPOLIS. Oh! by Bacchus! what a bouquet! It has the aroma of nectar
and ambrosia; this does not say to us, "Provision yourselves for three
days. " But it lisps the gentle numbers, "Go whither you will. "[184] I
accept it, ratify it, drink it at one draught and consign the Acharnians
to limbo. Freed from the war and its ills, I shall keep the Dionysia[185]
in the country.

AMPHITHEUS. And I shall run away, for I'm mortally afraid of the
Acharnians.

CHORUS. This way all! Let us follow our man; we will demand him of
everyone we meet; the public weal makes his seizure imperative. Ho,
there! tell me which way the bearer of the truce has gone; he has escaped
us, he has disappeared. Curse old age! When I was young, in the days when
I followed Phayllus,[186] running with a sack of coals on my back, this
wretch would not have eluded my pursuit, let him be as swift as he will;
but now my limbs are stiff; old Lacratides[187] feels his legs are
weighty and the traitor escapes me. No, no, let us follow him; old
Acharnians like ourselves shall not be set at naught by a scoundrel, who
has dared, great gods! to conclude a truce, when I wanted the war
continued with double fury in order to avenge my ruined lands. No mercy
for our foes until I have pierced their hearts like a sharp reed, so that
they dare never again ravage my vineyards. Come, let us seek the rascal;
let us look everywhere, carrying our stones in our hands; let us hunt him
from place to place until we trap him; I could never, never tire of the
delight of stoning him.

DICAEOPOLIS. Peace! profane men! [188]

CHORUS. Silence all! Friends, do you hear the sacred formula?