No More Learning

if it
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The REHEARSAL.
203
O. What do'ft mean by help and seconds? We oppose
thee; don't we ? I'm fare we call thee ill names enough,
as many as thou'lt hear on the Thames, or ' at Billings
gate.
C. And they affect me both alike. Free leetve you
have to go on with all that artillery. But I am only afraid left any of you stiou'd speak well of me j that might render me suspected to all honest men. They
might be apt to fay, what has he done? to purchase the
good opinion of Observator, Flying-post, or any of the
scandalous club !
And it looks as if this were your defign ! for I can
not tell astory, but presently you two come in as vouch
ers for the truth of it ; tho' with hard words, to tover
the intrigue f
Thus I faid, that the cavaleade at Edinburgh was by
order of the privy-council there ; which some cou'd. hardly believe, it was so monstrous I Then comes Flying- post, and prints the very order for me ; and, that it might
not be forgot, Bayes prints it again in his next Obser vator of last Feb. 24. N. 90.
I was really tax'd by some friends for that psalm at 5 alters- Hall ; and they Were apprehensive my intelli
gence had fail'd me, and they expected it wou'd have
been denyd. Then comes Flying-post again, to help hi* friend at a dead lift, and vouches the truth of ana sets- down in many words in his of the fame Feb. 24. as.
does Observator in his of March 3d, N. 92.
And with such senseless excuses, as he were telling
all the world he play'd booty As, that there was Ser mon at the time and moreover, that the faid sermon had text That there's another translation of the psalms besides Stemhold and Hopkins. But especially, that was impojsible they cou'd mean as to the day, because
of their known loyalty! Insomuch that they wou'd tempt us to think, that the king cut off his own heads
and was prompted to none but the bishops and cava liers Let them name who else did and see how-
of that fort they Can sind in Salters-Hall The K prestyr
many
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204
The REHEARSAL.
prestyterians vindication of themselves from the murder of K. Charles I. is the title of Se8. xiv. of Cassandra, N. I.
K. Charles II. is Se£l. This book the Flying-post names, and at it ; but
and Their endeavours to
restore
I I I
not a tittle to what is faid, andscolds prov d fully up-
This is their of ! been faid against it ! way answering
and they call it an answer !
O. As IVe. often told thee, thou'st got a silly trick
of proving ! and no proof will serve thy turn but matter offact ! which is neither civil nor mannerly! It spoils all conversation ! What ! does it become a gentleman to
prove ? It's like knocking a man down with a mallet. And whilst thou holds on in that way, no other answers flult thou get from us.
C. Wilt thou put me to proving too, that the fame thanksgiving psalm that was sung at Salters-Hall, was fung likewise at Pinners-Hall the fame day, that the
30th ofJanuary last.
O. What was May not that be by chance too
May not good wits jump? But I'll enquire, and
was not so, wo be to thee thou shalt be sure to hear from me. Otherwise you may take for granted, and make your most on't!
C. And so will. But have comment to make
thou little thinks on, upon your performance at Salters-
Hall, whereby we may guess, whether you had any
thing in your view, of the mournful subject of the
day.
Now suppose you had mind to turn this into, dey
of triumph and jubilee but withal to cover yourselves so, as that sliould not lay you open to the (as yet)
scandt of and (perhaps) the displeasure of the govern ment was the most proper ard easy method, in that case, to chooseaTRiuMPHAl subject, which might bring in triumphant psalm especially that one, which, be yond all the rest, points at, and names a particular day,
, on these heads, or any other. Only repeats the loyalty.
answers
of the prejhyterians over again ! as if nothing had ever
suidfact,
bU. it thejoyful day —-This the noble a3
O. Our
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The REHEARSAL.
205
O. - Our clark has a particular affection for that psalm, tho* upon mournful occasions. He fung it once at the-
burial of his ivife! But, as the bell clinks, the fool thinks, you may fancy what you will. But where's the proof?
you use to love proofs !
C. The best proof and comment of a man's words axe
his a£iions. Did you fast that day, and deny yourselves
a dinner ?
O. That you know we never do !
Or ever did, for any affliclion that besel the church or the crown ! We> wou'd not fast one •Ay>, to fave them both from ruin ! But w e have both fasted and pray'd to . pull them down !
L —
—/,
Squire where you were very well entertain'd. And
C. I follow'd you that day from Salters-Hall to
was there no discourse at dinner concerning the day, the sermon, and the . ?
O. What rogues among ourselves ! we must look sharp to sind out thy spies! Cannot we be quiet for thee in our own houses and cabals ? Or, hast thou afa
miliar ? Come, what has he told thee ?
C. That there were several of your preachers there ;
and. that they were very witty! And speaking of the sermon, and the psalm sung that day, and naming several
texts proper, as they thought, to the occafion, one of them, whose name begins with an S , ■faid, if it had been his turn to have preached that day, he wou'd have
chosen for his text the words of Martha to our Saviour,
John xi. 39. Lord, by this time he stinketh, >
O. I prosess it was very ingenious ! and we laugh'd heartily at it ; I wiih I had faid that might have been thought wit. But was as capable of: as he for if had come into my head, could have faid as
well as he you C. wish.
wou'd learn to jest some other way than in scripture phrase, which observe frequent among
You cap texts as boys do verses.
O. And for the fame end, to six them better in our memories, that we may have them always ready at
hand For the words do us more service than the fense. C. But
. yotJ.
:
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it is
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206
The REHEARSAL.
C But to oar business : Did you not really know
that lecTure-day of yours to be the 30th of Januarys Was it by meer chance, that you were all upon triumph that day in Saltcrs-Hall, Pinners-Hall, and we may sup
pose in the rest of your conventicles ? Was there not so much as a glance at the day, in all your merri ment, by this time be stinkitb? ZSc. Come, confess inge nuously.
O. O
thee ! Thou wou'dst bring me to confession.
! ! . popery
popery
! A priest, I'll warrant popish
C. Then I'll consess for thee :
dinary notice of this last 30th of January. For on sm- day the z8th, the royal proclamation for the observance of
the day was read in our churches ; which your church-
whigs, and occafional conformist's cou'd not but tell YOU. And you thence reasonably presuming, that this woa'd
be follow'd with very loyal sermons (as it was) upon the day, you set yourselves to the utmost oppofition you
durst, and resolv'd to turn it to a day ofjuhilee.
But it wou'd be some sort of vindication of you, if yon
cou'd shew, that in any of your meetings that day, you
bestow'd one tear upon the royal dust, or found die least fault with the villainous actors of that fatal tragedy.
O. We did not meddle with it at all ; and was there any more harm in that, than in some of your clergy, who on the 8th of this month, the day of her majesty 's accession, faid not one word of our late glorious K—— William?
C. What had that to do with the business of that day ?
Wou'd you have had a history of all her royal progeni tors? But you make this a mart of disaJsection in any
occafion ! you How then can
who bring not in the glories of K. — William upon every
acquit
the day set apart on purpose for the memory of the
maityrdom of the royal grandfather of the queen, and of which you were minded in the royal mandat read two days before, stand sullenly filent, and have not one
word to fay upon the occafion!
0. 1
You had more than or
yoursblves
? who upon
The REHEARSAL.
ao>
O. I tell you in mine of the 3 d instant. N. 92. That the aft of parliament, net any royal mandat, requires the
dissenters to observe that day.
C. They both require all the king's loving
eels.
0. But that not the difenters.
The sirst true word ever heard thee speak
who indeed con'd expect from those, who have print
ed lately, Adefence ofthe parliament 1640, and the people England, against K. Charles l. falfly and unjustly
c*Wd the pious martyr, Sec. London printed, 1698. Where they endeavour to make him as black as bell, and
charge the Irish massacre upon him which Calarny has since reprinted from Baxter and has occasion'd parti cular vindication of his majesty from that vile asperfion,
tt letter of present concern
1702. to which no reply has been made.
to a member parliament,
And
Who can expect from an Observator, who has, since her majesty's happy accession, triumph'd over the de collation and de-truncation of'her royal grand-father ami hid us not censure the wisdom and justice of our fore
sathers in that act As have several times told thee
to thy face, in my Rehearsals, and quoted thy Observa- turs; but thou stands mute, and will not plead, nor hast
one word to fay in thy own defence
Yet now sets up to
justify others. before quoted, N. 0. told thee in my Observator
92. That there such an alteration in principles — As not to
perpetual recrimination on parties. that this was not defign'd the makers
And suppose, the acl for the
'bservation the 30th January.
C. Read the a3 12 Car. 2. c. 30. and the royal
man-
fat pursuant to then thou wilt see what party there
design'd. And while the principles remain the fame, the party the fame, tho' the persons are chang'd.
But what mean'ft thou alteration of principles
there one single principle of forty-one that alter'd You? Name it. Isitthera&W power oi the people?
the doctrine of calling kings to account Do you
not, assert these as violently at this day, as ever they did in
Iste inC it a a so
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The REHEARSAL.
in forty one ? How then have you altered, except to the
208
I
hand in that murder, nor my father. And the crimes of
worse?
O. Itell thee in the fame Ohservator, that
had nt
the dead shou'd not be chargd on the living.
C. Will you take such an excuse from the papists, or any others ? Were not our forefathers as much dead the 5th of November, 1604, as on the 30th of January, 1648? These are guilty and senseless excuses! As I told thee, parties remain, while principles remain. And
you your selves charge backwards, and rip up former doings. And making this an objetfion against others, is ridiculous, and shews, that you are self-condemn'd! and so I leave thee.
From &slt. March 17, to /§>at. March 24, 170s. N° 34.
I. An answer to what the Observator is to be upon. With his decision 'twixt the lords and commons, con cerning writs of error. 2. The Review's ar ra i cn we
the government. 5. the ensuing elections,
Mod-ErATlow-methods, towards
r. Oi. T\T 7H AT do'st think am I to be upon very
soon ? Thou to
Y pretends guess beforehand
what I will do, as well as to ccrrect me for what I have done.
And thou hast sometimes answer d me, before I wrote, that I have thought thee a witch !
C. As I told thee before, there is no conjuration in this. For thou and thyscandalous club, and all the whig heroes, have but two topicks, on which you ring your
changes. Thefirst, as to principle, that senseless and baffii notion of power in the people. So bajrdl that, as I have sliew'd N. 25. your, mighty-litle d'Foe, gives up the cause, unless we will giant him, that a part is the whole! Upon which suppofition all the popular frufture is fram'd. And it is impossible for any cause to be redue'd to a great- «r and more self evident contradiction.
Youi
people
The REHEARSAL.
209
Your other topick, as to practice, is, to •vilify and be spatter the government, in all its administration, from top to bottom : thereby to alienate the affections of the people from and prepare them for new revolutions. And this consequential to your principle of power in the
which has nosoundation, and therefore can never reft, more than the troubsd sea, whose waters cast up
mire and dirt. post Pursuant to this, thy
particularly, to spend thy verdict upon all the great transactions ofstate, as in the dispute lately betwixt the two houses of lords •and
commons, concerning zvrits of error in cases of elections, &C. And thou, as trumpeter general to the mob, art em- ploy'd to tell them which in the right, and which in the wrong, and to dispose them to this or that side which such an insolence, 'tis strange the government ihou'd bear and if suffer'd to go on, 'twill be hard sot any government tostand! to have the drum beat, and
parties openly made for one part of the constitution against
the other What this but civil war, not beginnings
but begun
Upon this head thou never fails to take the. queen's
Speeches to tafle, and adorn them with thy animadverfi* ms! And-THou always turns them against the church, and in favour of the wings and dissenters contrary to her majesty's gracious intentions, and what me declar'd from the throne the first time she fat upon
Now suppose thou wilt not leave thy old wont. And therefore expect thy seditious comment upon this last
speech of her majesty. And tell . it before hand, to see
And I'll answer ^before hand, for know what thou'lt fay. Thou'lt turn that moderation her majesty recommends, as meant only to the church, to
Ihew their moderation to the whigs and dissenters but not at all to concern the dissenters, that they shou'd shew any moderation towards the church but that they have free leave still to batter and bomb her, under the name of high-church Nay more, to attack her majesty whole administration, even in civil affairs those especially un.
guess right.
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der the conduct of her royal consort ; to render them both odioms to the peoples
This has been thy constant theme, of which I hate sufficiently told thee. Yet thou ftill hold'st on, ia the some trad, because thou sind'st thou canst do it with out punishment.
And this encourages the rest of the sccatdahus dub. They join their throats and make a full cry against the
government, and hvlloo MOB to hunt it dvwn !
(2. ) The Review of the instant, Vol. 2. N. s. speaking of the state the nation, puts what we softer
by the 'war in our trade, Sec. (which unavoidable, asd afsects other nations engag'd therein as well as ours) whol
upon the stothful and supine negligence (to repeat his own words) of the government. Our navy (fays he) gremt end flourishing, but all her (the nation's) well laid dcstgtu, either defeated in their preparations, the miserable me thods, and illgovernment, •with relation to the seamen, or disappointed the ill condu3 or cowardice of her com manders. And again, It's the (nation's) civil concerns in the utmost confufion of parties who pursue their corn- try's destruclion in their private heats, and fill the land with cries, oppressions, insults, and allforts of confufion. Blending together the most absurd contradi£Hor. s such et
propagating religion a scandalous ministry Reforming manners debauch 'd magistrates, and choofing men to mala
lanvs, and, bribery and corruption.
Here's such representation of the government, as
believ'd) wou'd fright every body at it. And for what Other end expos'd to the mob
He fays he knows an easy remedy for all this which must be to alter thescandalous ministry to put the wbok into the hands of the wbigs. They at first desir'd only
part, that they might not be precluded their birth-rights And told from the beginning, that they wou'd not be content with that only make use of to ferew them
selves into the whole. And now they begin to speak out. Now there are parties and divifions The church will not suffer themselves to be destroy without strug
lings
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it !
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The REHEARSAL. 211
ling ! But trust the whole administration with die whigs, THKr'll make peace! as they have done in Scotland! refusing the church that toleration they enjoy 'd under her:
And persecuting her from city to city.
0. It is our right ! ofwhich / am judge, as of the
dispute 'twixt the lords and commons ! And of which I fay in mine of the loth instant, N. 94. a right that he •who denies ought to he made asacrifice of atonement to an mjurd people; and may that man be curst that refuses, at any time, to affist in the bringing ofsuch a person to justice.
C. Here's a curse ye Meroz, with a witness ! And pro-
Bounc'd not only against any or all the judges, if they fhou'd difser in opinion, in this point of law, from the
worthy Observator, but against the whole house of com mits, who have disputed this point : nay, against the fueen herself, if she shou'd be persuaded on their side ! And who is thejudge over all these ? The injur'd people f And by De Foe's logick, he and Tuchin are the people ! Because a part is the -whole, and the lesser part includes the greater ! a noble foundation of government !
0. De Foe do's fay all this, as thou hast quoted his
very words, in thy Rehearsal, N. 25. And 'tis a noble
smndatitn for all thee. Do thou disprove it if thou canst f (j. ) And I'll tell thee more ; ws're resolved to try k
W»ce more : and that very soon, at the next elections. We have already set our engines on work all over the nation, to blacken and asperse whomever we don't like, tsjacohifsd and frenchify d, that is, whoever stand up for mother church !
C. One of your journeymen has been fnapt, EdwarJ Theobalds, and censured by the house of commons ; who have, upon that, passed a resolve, nemine contradicente, the td of this March, that to asperse any member of the bouse ofcommons, with being in the interest of the pretend ed prince of Wales, or the French government, for or in respect of his behaviour and proceedings in the house of com mons, is villainous and seditious, destructive of the liberties
ofparliament, and the freedom of elections ; and tends to
create a misunderstanding between her majesty and her sub- je3s. O. What
212 The REHEARSAL.
O. What care we for their nemine contra£cente s ! have legion' 'd them to all the nation, over and over ag
We've begun with and we '11 end with it! It carries us on purely J
And no harm has come to us !
lying,
We have printed lifts upon lists of the tackers,.
that resolve, and re-printed the chara&er ofa tacker (v which thou kep'st such a pother in thine of Dec. 23.
si
O. - Let us alone. We go on pi and piano,
. and thought's! to fright with additions. us)
C. How came you to limit your selves to the tacke
The whole house, nemine contradicente, have de "
against your wicked proceedings : and are contrary
your
notion of the writ of error. And are therefd curst by you, and doom'd a sacrifice to the injurd f pies
the : tackers sirst. We can easier deal with sacrifice j
rest. We'll /srg-f the sirst, and then turn th< all out of doors, as our late glorious and immortal tector did before us. And we have trode religiously in- his steps.
Now you must know, that these tackers are men of
the greatest bulk in the house of commons for estates aet
interest; they have most of the knights of the ft>irtt\. therefore we must get rid of them : they will never do our business. Some few of them perhaps may expect to be leading men in a commonwealth ; but for the gene rality of them, they remember the sequestrations, compo
fitions, dcclimaticns, and forfeitures in forty one times ; and will never run the hazard of having their estates di vided among all the rascality of the kingdom. There
fore they will oppose oar puss with all their might.
For this reason we use all endeavours to get them ex- eluded in the ensuing elections. To which end we have legions of pampblets, characters, stng-songs, &c. ready to throw out day after day, among the mobile, to keep
them warm; wherein we assure them, that these tackers
are all of them papishes and jacobites, and have already sold their country to the French, tho' they have so great a. stake in it I For we fay, what will not bigottry do?
Then
W^
The REHE A RSAL.
213 Then these being supported by our standingforce of Ob- servators, Reviews, and the rest of our scandalous club,
weekly papers, w e hope, will have a great effefl. Espe cially considering, that there is almost a total filence of the befieged on the church side. They're practising their
old non-refistance, and cannot long hold out against our furious attacks ! We shall certainly gain the people from them, while they take no care to keep them. And think it below them to use o ur little scribling methods. They're alham'd to write, unless politely, which the mob don't understand.
But this is not all. We have emissaries and Theobalds in all quarters through the kingdom, to back the circular let ters we have sent every where; and to give thenwiat all elections, no tacker! no tacktr! no high-church-man!
And we make not only those who oppose us, but all of the church that do not assist us, to be high-church-men ; all that are not of our side, who do notspeech and preach up for us, and fall not foul on their own bre
thren in the church, who do but hint at old church of England doctrines or mutter at schism, and would have any care taken of church or constitution. For we have declar'd against all neuters we treat all such as open enemies we always have done so.
And these high-slyers we make to be papisbes, all, eve ry one of them! This we have long inculcated, without
They despised our. bare faying so, without
oppofition.
proof, and thought would take with no body But they
now sind has taken and wonder at Let them un derstand their books, but we know men. We know what- to have thing rung in the ears of mob perpe
And therefore watch the least innuendo against v and mark such men, and expose them in all our pa
tually
pers which has filenc'd most of them. They dare not stand it! and we goon to expose them still more and more, having beaten them out of the field! And now the elections coming on, we rub up mob again, and re peat what we have long hammer'd into them, and which
make the last words of my last Saturday's Observa- tor
3
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The REHEARSAL.
2i4
tor N. 96. (that it may be the more taken notice
where make my countryman conclude thus, Well, mas ter, all the high-sliers in England are not papisbts their hearts, then lam no countryman.
And we do not only fay so, but we have already ven the word, that such of them as shall dare to appear at the ensuing elections, ought to be shot thro' the head, which I'll give thee full proof at our next meeting. We intimidate wi bully! that's the way to deal v/ithpajfiie fools!
C. Is this the moderation recommended to vow ta*
queen you O. It's to
she recommends as shall prove. Besides you have moderation enough for us both! and
I'll promise you we '11 take none of yours from you much good may do you
1
From ,f>at. March 24, to &flt. March
1705. N°J5.
The shooting thro' the head letter sent to Oxford. The counter-scuffle at Coventry. A trial of lkill at Hert
ford. The character a tacker. Wherein
that the fate /^occasional bill has divested the church ofall her legal security.
CW. T N the bullying mood left thee last time, thou
your
ens. O.
promis'd'il to shew me one of the circular letters party sends about, to influence the ensuing eledi-
Does thy courage keep up still
never fails tho' believe thine will, when
thee, and will shew thee for that reason
shew
the reason for which we send tech letters about, to
pluck down the spirits of the high-church, and make them tremble under us Here's one we sent to Oxford, where there's nest of high-flyers, but we make them low ereepers before we have done with them! The letter directed For Mr. W— Ml Stttlt Ulegt in
shewed
of
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The REHEARSAL.
2j5
and is these words, The names of the ackers for Ox sord/hire, •uiho are penfioners of France, and ought to. be fiot thro the head, they pretend to appear at the ensuing
ckHion; Sir Robert Jenhinson, Sir Edward Norreys, Wil
liam Bromley, Sir William Whitlock, Thomas
Rodney, Francis Norreys, James Bertie, Sir William Glinn, Charles
North.
Short and sweet and we must suppose the like sent
to other places all over the kingdom, to teach them mode ration Now suppose the church should be willing to
learn tour moderation, and imitate it.
O. Thou dog of dogs, that would make sine work in
deed! our moderation! no, not that we recom
mend to them, but THEIr OWN moderation,
non-refistance moderation! thou know'st that none of our moderation, nor ever was. But— But— But—
What's the matter What mak'st put singer in eye,
filly, passive,
and ciy, like great booby
O. would vex any body. went t'other day as far
as Coventry, to beat one of your moderation men
C. Well, and what then
O. What then? Why when went to beat him—he
wou'dn't let me.
C. And thou blubbers and cries for that Why didn'st
thou take some body to help thee Thou cou'dn'st want
sriends in old loyal Coventry
O. summon'd all our moderation men, and they came
readily as heart could wish. But their moderation men came likewise, and we cou'dn't persuade them to be beaten quietly but they made disturbance and hub bub in the town (they always make quarrels and drove
vt out of it. Their
high-church-non-refiflance-clubs drubb'd plaguily and has employ all the surgeons in
the town, to plaister the low-church crowns.
C. A high crown'd-hat wards blow better than low-
crown 'd one moderation
and high of all sorts beats the low, even in self!
intolerable What beaten and laugFd at
O. This
too If you begin not to be afraid of us, we must be gin
!
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C.
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The REHEARSAL.
gin to begin again. We are undone!