But how
contemptible
they would seem if this made them vain
of it!
of it!
Epiphanius Wilson - Japanese Literature
The one thing
that I could not bear, however, was that jealousy of hers. Sincere and
devoted as she is, thought I, is there no means of ridding her of this
jealous weakness? Could I but do that, it would not matter even if I
were to alarm her a little. And I also thought that since she was
devoted to me, if I showed any symptoms of getting tired of her, she
would, in all probability, be warned by it. Therefore, I purposely
behaved to her with great coolness and heartlessness. This she
resented as usual. I then said to her, that though our affection had
been of old date, I should not see her again; 'if you wish to sever
from me you may suspect me as much as you like. If you prefer to enjoy
long happiness with me in future, be modest and patient in trifling
matters. If you can only be so, how can I do otherwise than love you?
My position also may in time be improved, and then we may enjoy
greater happiness! '
"In saying this, I thought I had managed matters very ingeniously.
Without meaning it, however, I had in fact spoken a little too
harshly. She replied, with a bitter smile, that 'to put up with a life
of undistinguished condition, even though with faint hopes of future
promotion, was not a thing about which we ought to trouble ourselves,
but that it was indeed a hard task to pass long wearisome days in
waiting until a man's mind should be restored to a sense of propriety.
And that for this reason we had, perhaps, better separate at once. '
"This she said with such sarcastic bitterness that I was irritated and
stung to the quick, and overwhelmed her with a fresh torrent of
reproaches. At this juncture she gave way to an uncontrollable fit of
passion, and snatching up my hand, she thrust my little finger into
her mouth and bit off the end of it. Then, notwithstanding my pain, I
became quite cool and collected, and calmly said, 'insulted and maimed
as I have now been, it is most fitting that I should absent myself for
the future from polite society. Office and title would ill become me
now. Your spite has now left me without spirit to face the world in
which I should be ridiculed, and has left me no alternative but to
withdraw my maimed person from the public gaze! ' After I had alarmed
her by speaking in this exalted strain, I added, 'to-day we meet for
the last time,' and bending these fingers (pointing to them as she
spoke) I made the farewell remark:--
When on my fingers, I must say
I count the hours I spent with thee,
Is this, and this alone, I pray
The only pang you've caused to me?
You are now quits with me,' At the instant I said so, she burst into
tears and without premeditation, poured forth the following:--
'From me, who long bore grievous harms,
From that cold hand and wandering heart,
You now withdraw your sheltering arms,
And coolly tell me, we must part. '
"To speak the truth, I had no real intention of separating from her
altogether. For some time, however, I sent her no communication, and
was passing rather an unsettled life. Well! I was once returning from
the palace late one evening in November, after an experimental
practice of music for a special festival in the Temple of Kamo. Sleet
was falling heavily. The wind blew cold, and my road was dark and
muddy. There was no house near where I could make myself at home. To
return and spend a lonely night in the palace was not to be thought
of. At this moment a reflection flashed across my mind. 'How cold must
she feel whom I have treated so coldly,' thought I, and suddenly
became very anxious to know what she felt and what she was about. This
made me turn my steps towards her dwelling, and brushing away the snow
that had gathered on my shoulders I trudged on: at one moment shyly
biting my nails, at another thinking that on such a night at least all
her enmity towards me might be all melted away. I approached the
house. The curtains were not drawn, and I saw the dim light of a lamp
reflected on the windows. It was even perceivable that a soft quilt
was being warmed and thrown over the large couch. The scene was such
as to give you the notion that she was really anticipating that I
might come at least on such an evening. This gave me encouragement,
but alas! she whom I hoped to see was not at home. I was told she had
gone to her parents that very evening. Previous to that time, she had
sent me no sad verses, no conciliatory letter, and this had already
given birth to unpleasant feelings on my part. And at this moment,
when I was told that she had gone away, all these things seemed to
have been done almost purposely, and I involuntarily began to suspect
that her very jealousy had only been assumed by her on purpose to
cause me to become tired of her.
"As I reflected what our future might be after such an estrangement as
this, I was truly depressed. I did not, however, give up all hope,
thinking that she would not be so determined as to abandon me forever.
I had even carefully selected some stuff for a dress for her. Some
time, however, passed away without anything particularly occurring.
She neither accepted nor refused the offers of reconciliation which I
made to her. She did not, it is true, hide herself away like any of
those of whom I have spoken before. But, nevertheless, she did not
evince the slightest symptom of regret for her previous conduct.
"At last, after a considerable interval, she intimated to me that her
final resolve was not to forgive me any more if I intended in future
to behave as I had done before; but that, on the other hand, she
should be glad to see me again if I would thoroughly change my habits,
and treat her with the kindness which was her due. From this I became
more convinced that she still entertained longings for me. Hence, with
the hope of warning her a little more, I made no expressions of any
intention to make a change in my habits, and I tried to find out which
of us had the most patience.
"While matters were in this state, she, to my great surprise, suddenly
died, perhaps broken-hearted.
"I must now frankly confess that she certainly was a woman in whom a
man might place his confidence. Often, too, I had talked with her on
music and on poetry, as well as on the more important business of
life, and I found her to be by no means wanting in intellect and
capability. She had too the clever hands of Tatyta-hime[35] and
Tanabata. [36]
"When I recall these pleasant memories my heart still clings to her
endearingly. "
"Clever in weaving, she may have been like Tanabata, that is but a
small matter," interposed To-no-Chiujio, "we should have preferred to
have seen your love as enduring as Tanabata's. [37] Nothing is so
beautiful as the brilliant dyes spread over the face of Nature, yet
the red tints of autumn are often not dyed to a color so deep as we
desire, because of the early drying of the dew, so we say, 'such is
the uncertain fate of this world,'" and so saying, he made a sign to
Sama-no-Kami to go on with his story. He went on accordingly.
"About that time I knew another lady. She was on the whole a superior
kind of person. A fair poetess, a good musician, and a fluent speaker,
with good enunciation, and graceful in her movements. All these
admirable qualities I noticed myself, and heard them spoken of by
others. As my acquaintance with her commenced at the time when I was
not on the best of terms with my former companion, I was glad to enjoy
her society. The more I associated with her the more fascinating she
became.
"Meanwhile my first friend died, at which I felt truly sorry, still I
could not help it, and I therefore paid frequent visits to this one.
In the course of my attentions to her, however, I discovered many
unpleasant traits. She was not very modest, and did not appear to be
one whom a man could trust. On this account, I became somewhat
disappointed, and visited her less often. While matters were on this
footing I accidentally found out that she had another lover to whom
she gave a share of her heart.
"It happened that one inviting moonlight evening in October, I was
driving out from home on my way to a certain Dainagon. On the road I
met with a young noble who was going in the same direction. We
therefore drove together, and as we were journeying on, he told me
that 'some one might be waiting for him, and he was anxious to see
her'; well! by and by we arrived at the house of my lady-love. The
bright reflection of the waters of an ornamental lake was seen through
crevices in the walls; and the pale moon, as she shed her full
radiance over the shimmering waves, seemed to be charmed with the
beauty of the scene. It would have been heartless to pass by with
indifference, and we both descended from the carriage, without knowing
each other's intention.
"This youth seems to have been 'the other one'; he was rather shy. He
sat down on a mat of reeds that was spread beside a corridor near the
gateway; and, gazing up at the sky, meditated for some moments in
silence. The chrysanthemums in the gardens were in full bloom, whose
sweet perfume soothed us with its gentle influence; and round about us
the scarlet leaves of the maple were falling, as ever and anon they
were shaken by the breeze. The scene was altogether romantic.
"Presently, he took a flute out of his bosom and played. He then
whispered, 'Its shade is refreshing. '
"In a few minutes the fair one struck up responsively on a sweet-toned
_wagon_ (a species of _koto_).
"The melody was soft and exquisite, in charming strains of modern
music, and admirably adapted to the lovely evening. No wonder that he
was fascinated; he advanced towards the casement from which the sounds
proceeded, and glancing at the leaves scattered on the ground,
whispered in invidious tones, 'Sure no strange footsteps would ever
dare to press these leaves. ' He then culled a chrysanthemum, humming,
as he did so:--
'Even this spot, so fair to view
With moon, and Koto's gentle strain,
Could make no other lover true,
As me, thy fond, thy only swain. '
"'Wretched! ' he exclaimed, alluding to his poetry; and then added,
'One tune more! Stay not your hand when one is near, who so ardently
longs to hear you. ' Thus he began to flatter the lady, who, having
heard his whispers, replied thus, in a tender, hesitating voice:--
'Sorry I am my voice too low
To match thy flute's far sweeter sound;
Which mingles with the winds that blow
The Autumn leaves upon the ground. '
"Ah! she little thought I was a silent and vexed spectator of all this
flirtation. She then took up a _soh_ (another kind of _koto_ with
thirteen strings) and tuned it to a Banjiki key (a winter tune), and
played on it still more excellently. Though an admirer of music, I
cannot say that these bewitching melodies gave me any pleasure under
the peculiar circumstances I stood in.
"Now, romantic interludes, such as this, might be pleasant enough in
the case of maidens who are kept strictly in Court service, and whom
we have very little opportunity of meeting with, but even there we
should hesitate to make such a one our life companion. How much less
could one ever entertain such an idea in a case like my own? Making,
therefore, that evening's experience a ground of dissatisfaction I
never saw her more.
"Now, gentlemen, let us take into consideration these two instances
which have occurred to myself and see how equally unsatisfactory they
are. The one too jealous, the other too forward. Thus, early in life,
I found out how little reliance was to be placed on such characters.
And now I think so still more; and this opinion applies more
especially to the latter of the two. Dewdrops on the 'Hagi flower' of
beauty so delicate that they disappear as soon as we touch
them--hailstones on the bamboo grass that melt in our hand as soon as
we prick them--appear at a distance extremely tempting and attractive.
Take my humble advice, however, and go not near them. If you do not
appreciate this advice now, the lapse of another seven years will
render you well able to understand that such adventures will only
bring a tarnished fame. "
Thus Sama-no-Kami admonished them, and To-no-Chiujio nodded as usual.
Genji slightly smiled; perhaps he thought it was all very true, and he
said, "Your twofold experience was indeed disastrous and irritating! "
"Now," said To-no-Chiujio, "I will tell you a story concerning myself.
It was the evil fortune of Sama-no-Kami to meet with too much jealousy
in one of the ladies to whom he might otherwise have given his heart;
while he could feel no confidence in another owing to flirtations. It
was my hard lot to encounter an instance of excessive diffidence. I
once knew a girl whose person was altogether pleasing, and although I,
too, had no intention, as Sama-no-Kami said, of forming an everlasting
connection with her, I nevertheless took a great fancy to her. As our
acquaintance was prolonged, our mutual affection grew warmer. My
thoughts were always of her, and she placed entire confidence in me.
Now, when complete confidence is placed by one person in another, does
not Nature teach us to expect resentment when that confidence is
abused? No such resentment, however, seemed under any circumstances to
trouble her. When I very seldom visited her, she showed no excitement
or indignation, but behaved and looked as if we had never been
separated from each other. This patient silence was more trying to me
than reproaches. She was parentless and friendless. For this reason
responsibility weighed more heavily on me. Abusing her gentle nature,
however, I frequently neglected her. About this time, moreover, a
certain person who lived near her, discovered our friendship, and
frightened her by sending, through some channel, mischief-making
messages to her. This I did not become aware of till afterwards, and,
it seems, she was quite cast down and helpless. She had a little one
for whose sake, it appears, she was additionally sad. One day I
unexpectedly received a bunch of Nadeshiko[38] flowers. They were from
her. "
At this point To-no-Chiujio became gloomy.
"And what," inquired Genji, "were the words of her message? "
"Sir! nothing but the verse,
Forgot may be the lowly bed
From which these darling flowerets spring,
Still let a kindly dew be shed,
Upon their early nurturing.
"No sooner had I read this than I went to her at once. She was gentle
and sedate as usual, but evidently absent and preoccupied. Her eyes
rested on the dew lying on the grass in the garden, and her ears were
intent upon the melancholy singing of the autumn insects. It was as if
we were in a real romance. I said to her:--
When with confused gaze we view
The mingled flowers on gay parterre,
Amid their blooms of radiant hue
The Tokonatz,[39] my love, is there.
And avoiding all allusion to the Nadeshiko flowers, I repeatedly
endeavored to comfort the mother's heart. She murmured in reply:--
'Ah! Flower already bent with dew,
The winds of autumn cold and chill
Will wither all thy beauteous hue,
And soon, alas, unpitying kill. '
Thus she spoke sadly. But she reproached me no further. The tears came
involuntarily into her eyes. She was, however, apparently sorry for
this, and tried to conceal them. On the whole she behaved as if she
meant to show that she was quite accustomed to such sorrows. I
certainly deeply sympathized with her, yet still further abusing her
patience. I did not visit her again for some time; but I was
punished. When I did so she had flown, leaving no traces behind her.
If she is still living she must needs be passing a miserable
existence.
"Now, if she had been free from this excessive diffidence, this apathy
of calmness, if she had complained when it was necessary, with
becoming warmth and spirit, she need never have been a wanderer, and I
would never have abused her confidence. But, as I said before, a woman
who has no strength of emotion, no passionate bursts of sorrow or of
joy, can never retain a dominion over us.
"I loved this woman without understanding her nature; and I am
constantly, but in vain, trying to find her and her little darling,
who was also very lovely; and often I think with grief and pain that,
though I may succeed in forgetting her, she may possibly not be able
to forget me, and, surely, there must be many an evening when she is
disquieted by sad memories of the past.
"Let us now sum up our experiences, and reflect on the lessons which
they teach us. One who bites your finger will easily estrange your
affection by her violence. Falseness and forwardness will be the
reproach of some other, in spite of her melodious music and the
sweetness of her songs. A third, too self-contained and too gentle, is
open to the charge of a cold silence, which oppresses one, and cannot
be understood.
"Whom, then, are we to choose? All this variety, and this perplexing
difficulty of choice, seems to be the common lot of humanity. Where,
again, I say, are we to go to find the one who will realize our
desires? Shall we fix our aspirations on the beautiful goddess, the
heavenly Kichijio? [40] Ah! this would be but superstitious and
impracticable. "
So mournfully finished To-no-Chiujio; and all his companions, who had
been attentively listening, burst simultaneously into laughter at his
last allusion.
"And now, Shikib, it is your turn. Tell us your story," exclaimed
To-no-Chiujio, turning to him.
"What worth hearing can your humble servant tell you? "
"Go on; be quick; don't be shy; let us hear! "
Shikib-no-Jio, after a little meditation, thus began:--
"When I was a student at the University, I met there with a woman of
very unusual intelligence. She was in every respect one with whom, as
Sama-no-Kami has said, you could discuss affairs, both public and
private. Her dashing genius and eloquence were such that all ordinary
scholars would find themselves unable to cope with her, and would be
at once reduced to silence. Now, my story is as follows:--
"I was taking lessons from a certain professor, who had several
daughters, and she was one of them. It happened by some chance or
other I fell much into her society. The professor, who noticed this,
once took up a wine-cup in his hand, and said to me, 'Hear what I sing
about two choices. '[41]
"This was a plain offer put before me, and thenceforward I endeavored,
for the sake of his tuition, to make myself as agreeable as possible
to his daughter. I tell you frankly, however, that I had no particular
affection for her, though she seemed already to regard me as her
victim. She seized every opportunity of pointing out to me the way in
which we should have to steer, both in public and private life. When
she wrote to me she never employed the effeminate style of the
Kana,[42] but wrote, oh! so magnificently! The great interest which
she took in me induced me to pay frequent visits to her; and, by
making her my tutor, I learned how to compose ordinary Chinese poems.
However, though I do not forget all these benefits, and though it is
no doubt true that our wife or daughter should not lack intelligence,
yet, for the life of me, I cannot bring myself to approve of a woman
like this. And still less likely is it that such could be of any use
to the wives of high personages like yourselves. Give me a lovable
nature in lieu of sharpness! I quite agree with Sama-no-Kami on this
point. "
"What an interesting woman she must have been," exclaimed
To-no-Chiujio, with the intention of making Shikib go on with his
story.
This he fully understood, and, making a grimace, he thus proceeded:--
"Once when I went to her after a long absence--a way we all have, you
know--she did not receive me openly as usual, but spoke to me from
behind a screen. I surmised that this arose from chagrin at my
negligence, and I intended to avail myself of this opportunity to
break with her. But the sagacious woman was a woman of the world, and
not like those who easily lose their temper or keep silence about
their grief. She was quite as open and frank as Sama-no-Kami would
approve of. She told me, in a low clear voice, 'I am suffering from
heartburn, and I cannot, therefore, see you face to face; yet, if you
have anything important to say to me, I will listen to you. ' This was,
no doubt, a plain truth; but what answer could I give to such a
terribly frank avowal? 'Thank you,' said I, simply; and I was just on
the point of leaving, when, relenting, perhaps, a little, she said
aloud, 'Come again soon, and I shall be all right. ' To pass this
unnoticed would have been impolite; yet I did not like to remain there
any longer, especially under such circumstances: so, looking askance,
I said--
Here I am, then why excuse me, is my visit all in vain:
And my consolation is, you tell me, come again?
No sooner had I said this than she dashed out as follows with a
brilliancy of repartee which became a woman of her genius:--
'If we fond lovers were, and meeting every night,
I should not be ashamed, were it even in the light! '
"Nonsense, nonsense! " cried Genji and the others, who either were, or
pretended to be, quite shocked. "Where can there be such a woman as
that? She must have been a devil! Fearful! fearful! " And, snapping
their fingers with disapproving glances, they said, "Do tell us
something better--do give us a better story than that. "
Shikib-no-Jio, however, quietly remarked: "I have nothing else to
relate," and remained silent.
Hereupon a conversation took place to the following effect:--
"It is a characteristic of thoughtless people--and that, without
distinction of sex--that they try to show off their small
accomplishments. This is, in the highest degree, unpleasant. As for
ladies, it may not, indeed, be necessary to be thorough master of the
three great histories, and the five classical texts; yet they ought
not to be destitute of some knowledge of both public and private
affairs, and this knowledge can be imperceptibly acquired without any
regular study of them, which, though superficial, will yet be amply
sufficient to enable them to talk pleasantly about them with their
friends.
But how contemptible they would seem if this made them vain
of it! The Manna[43] style and pedantic phrases were not meant for
them; and, if they use them, the public will only say, 'would that
they would remember that they are women and not men,' and they would
only incur the reproach of being pedants, as many ladies, especially
among the aristocracy, do. Again, while they should not be altogether
unversed in poetical compositions, they should never be slaves to
them, or allow themselves to be betrayed into using strange
quotations, the only consequence of which would be that they would
appear to be bold when they ought to be reserved, and abstracted when
very likely they have practical duties to attend to. How utterly
inappropriate, for instance, it would be on the May festival[44] if,
while the attention of all present was concentrated on the solemnity
of the occasion, the thoughts of these ladies were wandering on their
own poetical imaginations about 'sweet flags;' or if, again, on the
Ninth-day festival,[45] when all the nobles present were exercising
their inventive faculties on the subject of Chinese poems, they were
to volunteer to pour forth their grand ideas on the dew-laid flowers
of the chrysanthemum, thus endeavoring to rival their opponents of the
stronger sex. There is a time for everything; and all people, but more
especially women, should be constantly careful to watch circumstances,
and not to air their accomplishments at a time when nobody cares for
them. They should practise a sparing economy in displaying their
learning and eloquence, and should even, if circumstances require,
plead ignorance on subjects with which they are familiar. "
As to Genji, even these last observations seemed only to encourage his
reverie still to run upon a certain one, whom he considered to be the
happy medium between the too much and the too little; and, no definite
conclusion having been arrived at through the conversation, the
evening passed away.
The long-continued rainy weather had now cleared up bright and fine,
and the Prince Genji proceeded to the mansion of his father-in-law,
where Lady Aoi, his bride, still resided with him. She was in her
private suite of apartments, and he soon joined her there. She was
dignified and stately, both in manners and demeanor, and everything
about her bore traces of scrupulous neatness.
"Such may be one of those described by Sama-no-Kami, in whom we may
place confidence," he thought, as he approached her. At the same time,
her lofty queenliness caused him to feel a momentary embarrassment,
which he at once tried to hide by chatting with the attendant maid.
The air was close and heavy, and he was somewhat oppressed by it. His
father-in-law happened to pass by the apartment. He stopped and
uttered a few words from behind the curtain which overhung the door.
"In this hot weather," said Genji, in a low tone, "what makes him come
here? " and did not give the slightest encouragement to induce his
father-in-law to enter the room; so he passed along. All present
smiled significantly, and tittered. "How indiscreet! " exclaimed Genji,
glancing at them reprovingly, and throwing himself back on a _kio-sok_
(arm-stool), where he remained calm and silent.
It was, by no means, becoming behavior on the part of the Prince.
The day was drawing to an end when it was announced that the mansion
was closed in the certain celestial direction of the Naka-gami
(central God). [46] His own mansion in Nijio (the one mentioned as
being repaired in a previous chapter) was also in the same line of
direction.
"Where shall I go then? " said Genji, and without troubling himself any
further, went off into a doze. All present expressed in different
words their surprise at his unusual apathy. Thereupon some one
reported that the residence of Ki-no-Kami, who was in waiting on the
Prince, on the banks of the middle river (the River Kiogok) had lately
been irrigated by bringing the stream into its gardens, making them
cool and refreshing.
"That's very good, especially on such a close evening," exclaimed
Genji, rousing himself, and he at once intimated to Ki-no-Kami his
desire of visiting his house. To which the latter answered simply,
"Yes. " He did not, however, really like the Prince's visit, and was
reluctantly telling his fellow attendants that, owing to a certain
circumstance which had taken place at Iyo-no-Kami's[47] residence, his
wife (Ki-no-Kami's stepmother) had taken up her abode with him that
very evening, and that the rooms were all in confusion.
Genji heard all this distinctly, but he would not change his mind, and
said, "That is all the better! I don't care to stay in a place where
no fair statue dwells; it is slow work. "
Being thus pressed, no alternative remained for the Ki-no-Kami, and a
messenger was despatched to order the preparation of apartments for
the Prince. Not long after this messenger had gone, Genji started on
his way to the house of Ki-no-Kami, whose mild objections against this
quick proceeding were not listened to.
He left the mansion as quietly as possible, even without taking formal
leave of its master, and his escort consisted of a few favorite
attendants.
The "eastern front room" in the "dwelling quarters" was wide open, and
a temporary arrangement was made for the reception of the Prince, who
arrived there very quickly. The scene of the garden struck him before
anything else. The surface of the lake sparkled with its glittering
waters. The hedges surrounded it in rustic beauty, and luxuriant
shrubs grew in pleasing order. Over all the fair scene the breeze of
evening swept softly, summer insects sang distinctly here and there,
and the fireflies hovered about in mazy dances.
The escort took up its quarters in a position which overlooked the
stream of water which ran beneath the corridor, and here began to take
cups of _sake_. The host hastened to order also some refreshment to be
prepared for Genji.
The latter was meanwhile gazing abstractedly about him, thinking such
a place might belong to the class which Sama-no-Kami fairly placed in
the middle category. He knew that the lady who was under the same roof
was a young beauty of whom he had heard something before, and he was
looking forward to a chance of seeing her.
He then noticed the rustling of a silken dress escaping from a small
boudoir to the right, and some youthful voices, not without charm,
were also heard, mingled with occasional sounds of suppressed
laughter. The casement of the boudoir had been, until a short time
before, open, but was pulled down by order of Ki-no-Kami, who,
perhaps, doubted the propriety of its being as it was, and now only
allowed a struggling light to issue through the paper of the "sliding
screen! " He proceeded to one side of his room that he might see what
could be seen, but there was no chance. He still stood there that he
might be able, at least, to catch some part of the conversation. It
seems that this boudoir adjoined the general family room of the female
inmates, and his ears were greeted by some faint talking. He inclined
his head attentively, and heard them whispering probably about
himself.
"Is it not a pity that the fate of so fine a prince should be already
fixed? " said one voice.
"Yet he loses no opportunity of availing himself of the favors of
fortune," added another.
These remarks may have been made with no serious intention, but as to
Genji, he, even in hearing them, could not help thinking of a certain
fair image of which he so fondly dreamt. At the same time feeling a
thrill on reflecting that, if this kind of secret were to be
discovered and discussed in such a manner, what could be done.
He then heard an observation in delicate allusion to his verse which
he had presented to the Princess Momo-zono (peach-gardens) with the
flowers of Asagao (morning-glory, or convolvulus).
"What _cautious_ beauties they are to talk in that way! But I wonder
if their forms when seen will answer to the pictures of my fancy,"
thought Genji, as he retired to his original position, for he could
hear nothing more interesting.
Ki-no-Kami presently entered the room, brought in some fruits, trimmed
the lamp, and the visitor and host now began to enjoy a pleasant
leisure.
"What has become of the ladies? Without some of them no society is
cheerful," observed Genji.
"Who can there be to meet such wishes? " said the Ki-no-Kami to
himself, but took no notice of Genji's remark.
There were several boys in the house who had followed Ki-no-Kami into
the room. They were the sons and brothers of Ki-no-Kami. Among them
there was one about twelve or thirteen, who was nicer-looking than the
others. Genji, of course, did not know who they all were, and
accordingly made inquiries. When he came to the last-mentioned boy,
Ki-no-Kami replied:--
"He is the youngest son of the late Lord Yemon, now an orphan, and,
from his sister's connections, he is now staying here. He is shrewd
and unlike ordinary boys. His desire is to take Court service, but he
has as yet no patron. "
"What a pity! Is, then, the sister you mentioned your stepmother? "
"Yes, sir, it is so. "
"What a good mother you have got. I once overheard the Emperor, to
whom, I believe, a private application had been some time made in her
behalf, referring to her, said, 'What has become of her? ' Is she here
now? " said Genji; and lowering his voice, added, "How changeable are
the fortunes of the world! "
"It is her present state, sir. But, as you may perceive, it differs
from her original expectation. Changeable indeed are the fortunes of
this world, especially so the fortunes of women! "
"Does Iyo respect her? Perhaps he idolizes her, as his master. "
"That is a question, perhaps, as a _private_ master. I am the foremost
to disapprove of this infatuation on his part. "
"Are you? Nevertheless he trusts her to such a one as you. He is a
kind father! But where are they all? "
"All in their private apartments. "
Genji by this time apparently desired to be alone, and Ki-no-Kami now
retired with the boys. All the escort were already slumbering
comfortably, each on his own cool rush mat, under the pleasant
persuasion of _sake_.
Genji was now alone. He tried to doze, but could not. It was late in
the evening, and all was still around. His sharpened senses made him
aware that the room next but one to his own was occupied, which led
him to imagine that the lady of whom he had been speaking might be
there. He rose softly, and once more proceeded to the other side of
the room to listen to what he might overhear. He heard a tender voice,
probably that of Kokimi, the boy spoken of before, who appeared to
have just entered the room, saying:--
"Are you here? "
To which a female voice replied, "Yes, dear, but has the visitor yet
retired? " And the same voice added--
"Ah! so near, and yet so far! "
"Yes, I should think so, he is so nice-looking, as they say. "
"Were it daytime I would see him, too," said the lady in a drowsy
voice.
"I shall go to bed, too! But what a bad light," said the boy, and
Genji conjectured that he had been trimming the lamp.
The lady presently clapped her hands for a servant, and said, "Where
is Chiujio, I feel lonely, I wish to see her. "
"Madam, she is in the bath now, she will be here soon," replied the
servant.
"Suppose I pay my visit to her, too? What harm! no harm, perhaps,"
said Genji to himself. He withdrew the fastening of the intervening
door, on the other side there was none, and it opened. The entrance to
the room where the lady was sitting was only screened by a curtain,
with a glimmering light inside. By the reflection of this light he saw
travelling trunks and bags all scattered about; through these he
groped his way and approached the curtain. He saw, leaning on a
cushion, the small and pretty figure of a lady, who did not seem to
notice his approach, probably thinking it was Chiujio, for whom she
had sent. Genji felt nervous, but struggling against the feeling,
startled the lady by saying:--
"Chiujio was called for, I thought it might mean myself, and I come to
offer you my devoted services. "
This was really an unexpected surprise, and the lady was at a loss.
"It is, of course, natural," he said, "you should be astonished at my
boldness, but pray excuse me. It is solely from my earnest desire to
show at such an opportunity the great respect for you which I have
felt for a very long time. "
He was clever enough to know how to speak, and what to say, under all
circumstances, and made the above speech in such an extremely humble
and insinuating manner that the demon himself could not have taken
offence, so she forbore to show any sudden resentment. She had,
however, grave doubts as to the propriety of his conduct, and felt
somewhat uncomfortable, saying shyly, "Perhaps you have made a
mistake! "
"No, certainly not," he replied. "What mistake can I have made? On the
other hand, I have no wish to offend you. The evening, however, is
very irksome, and I should feel obliged if you would permit me to
converse with you. " Then gently taking her hand he pressed her to
return with him to his lonely apartment.
She was still young and weak, and did not know what was most proper to
do under these circumstances, so half yielding, half reluctantly was
induced to be led there by him.
At this juncture Chiujio, for whom she had sent previously, entered
the room. Upon which Genji exclaimed "Ha! "
Chiujio stared with astonishment at him, whom she at once recognized
as the Prince, by the rich perfume which he carried about him.
"What does this mean? " thought Chiujio. She could still do nothing.
Had he been an ordinary personage she would have immediately seized
him. Even in that case, however, there was enough room to doubt
whether it would not have been better to avoid any violent steps lest
it might have given rise to a disagreeable family scandal, hence
Chiujio was completely perplexed and mechanically followed them.
Genji was too bold to fear bystanders, a common fault with high
personages, and coolly closed the door upon her saying, "She will soon
return to you. "
The lady being placed in such an awkward position, and not knowing
what Chiujio might imagine, became, as it were, bewildered. Genji was,
however, as artful and insinuating as might be expected in consoling
her, though we do not know where he had learnt his eloquence. This was
really trying for her, and she said, "Your condescension is beyond my
merit. I cannot disregard it. It is, however, absolutely necessary to
know 'Who is who. '"
"But such ignorance," he a little abashed, rejoined "as not to know
'Who is who,' is the very proof of my inexperience. Were I supposed to
understand too well, I should indeed be sorry. You have very likely
heard how little I mix in the world. This perhaps is the very reason
why you distrust me. The excess of the blindness of my mind seems
strange even to myself. "
He spoke thus insinuatingly. She, on her part, feared that if his
fascinating address should assume a warmer tone it would be still
more trying for her and more difficult to withstand, so she
determined, however hard she might appear, not to give any
encouragement to his feelings, and showed therefore a coolness of
manner. To her meek character there was thus added a firm resolution,
and it seemed like a young bamboo reed with its strength and
tenderness combined, difficult to bend! Still she felt the struggle
very keenly, and tears moistened her eyes.
Genji could not help feeling touched. Not knowing exactly how to
soothe her, he exclaimed, "What makes you treat me so coolly? It is
true we are not old acquaintances, but it does not follow that this
should prevent us from becoming good friends. Please don't discompose
yourself like one who does not know the world at all: it pierces my
heart. "
This speech touched her, and her firmness began to waver.
"Were my position what it once was," said she, "and I received such
attention, I might, however unworthy, have been moved by your
affection, but as my position in life is now changed, its
unsatisfactory condition often makes me dream of a happiness I cannot
hope to enjoy. " Hereupon she remained silent for some moments, and
looked as if she meant to say that she could no longer help thinking
of the line:--
Don't tell anyone you've seen my home.
But these few moments of silence agitated the pure waters of her
virtuous mind, and the sudden recollection of her aged husband, whom
she did not generally think much about, occurred tenderly to her
memory. She shuddered at the idea of his seeing her in such a dilemma
as this, even in a dream, and without a word fled back to her
apartment, and Genji was once more alone.
Now the chanticleer began to proclaim the coming day, and the
attendants rose from their couches, some exclaiming "How soundly we
have slept," others, "Let us get the carriage ready. "
Ki-no-Kami also came out saying, "Why so early, no need of such hurry
for the Prince. "
Genji also arose, and putting on his _naoshi_, went out on a balcony
on the southern side of the house, where he leaned upon the wooden
balustrade and meditated as he looked round him.
It appears that people were peeping out of the casement on the western
side, probably being anxious to catch a glimpse of the Prince, whose
figure was indistinctly to be seen by them from the top of a short
screen standing within the trellis. Among these spectators there was
one who perhaps might have felt a thrill run through her frame as she
beheld him. It was the very moment when the sky was being tinted by
the glowing streaks of morn, and the moon's pale light was still
lingering in the far distance. The aspect of the passionless heavens
becomes radiant or gloomy in response to the heart of him who looks
upon it. And to Genji, whose thoughts were secretly occupied with the
events of the evening, the scene could only have given rise to
sorrowful emotions.
Reflecting how he might on some future occasion convey a message to
the lady, and looking back several times, he presently quitted the
house and returned to the mansion of his father-in-law.
During some days succeeding the above events, he was staying at the
mansion with his bride. His thoughts, however, were now constantly
turning to the lady on the bank of the middle river. He therefore
summoned Ki-no-Kami before him, and thus addressed him:--
"Cannot you let me have the boy, the son of the late Chiunagon[48]
whom I saw the other day? He is a nice lad, and I wish to have him
near at hand. I will also introduce him to the Emperor. "
"I receive your commands. I will talk with his _sister_, and see if
she consents to it," replied Ki-no-Kami with a bow.
These last words alluding to the object which occupied his thoughts
caused Genji to start, but he said with apparent calmness--
"Has the lady presented you yet with a brother or a sister? "
"No, sir, not yet; she has been married now these two years, but it
seems she is always thinking she is not settled in the way her parents
desired, and is not quite contented with her position. "
"What a pity! I heard, however, she was a very good lady. Is it so? "
"Yes, I quite believe so; but hitherto we have lived separately, and
were not very cordial, which, as all the world knows, is usual in such
relationship. "
After the lapse of five or six days the boy Kokimi was brought to
him. He was not tall or handsome but very intelligent, and in manners
perfectly well-bred. Genji treated him with the greatest kindness, at
which, in his boyish mind, he was highly delighted. Genji now asked
him many questions about his sister, to which he gave such answers as
he could, but often with shyness and diffidence. Hence Genji was
unable to take him into his confidence, but by skilfully coaxing and
pleasing him, he ventured to hand him a letter to be taken to his
sister. The boy, though he possibly guessed at its meaning, did not
trouble himself much, but taking it, duly delivered it to his sister.
She became confused and thoughtful as she took it, and fearing what
the boy might think, opened the letter and held it before her face as
she read, in order to conceal the expression of her countenance.
It was a long one, and among other things contained the following
lines:--
I had a dream, a dream so sweet,
Ah! would that I could dream again;
Alas, no sleep these eyes will greet,
And so I strive to dream in vain!
It was beautifully written, and as her eyes fell upon the passionate
words, a mist gathered over them, and a momentary thought of her own
life and position once more flashed over her mind, and without a word
of comment to the boy, she retired to rest.
A few days afterwards Kokimi was again invited to join the Prince.
Thereupon he asked his sister to give him an answer to the Prince's
letter.
"Tell the Prince," she said, "there is no one _here_ who reads such
letters. "
"But," said the boy, "he does not expect such an answer as this! How
can I tell him so? "
At first, she half-resolved to explain everything to Kokimi, and to
make him thoroughly understand why she ought not to receive such
letters, but the effort was too painful, so she simply said, "It is
all the better for you not to talk in that way. If you think it so
serious why should you go to him at all? "
"Yet, how can I disobey his commands to go back? " exclaimed the boy,
and so he returned to Genji without any written answer to him.
"I was weary of waiting for you. Perhaps you, too, had forgotten me,"
said Genji, when he saw the boy, who was, however, silent and blushed.
"And what answer have you brought me?
that I could not bear, however, was that jealousy of hers. Sincere and
devoted as she is, thought I, is there no means of ridding her of this
jealous weakness? Could I but do that, it would not matter even if I
were to alarm her a little. And I also thought that since she was
devoted to me, if I showed any symptoms of getting tired of her, she
would, in all probability, be warned by it. Therefore, I purposely
behaved to her with great coolness and heartlessness. This she
resented as usual. I then said to her, that though our affection had
been of old date, I should not see her again; 'if you wish to sever
from me you may suspect me as much as you like. If you prefer to enjoy
long happiness with me in future, be modest and patient in trifling
matters. If you can only be so, how can I do otherwise than love you?
My position also may in time be improved, and then we may enjoy
greater happiness! '
"In saying this, I thought I had managed matters very ingeniously.
Without meaning it, however, I had in fact spoken a little too
harshly. She replied, with a bitter smile, that 'to put up with a life
of undistinguished condition, even though with faint hopes of future
promotion, was not a thing about which we ought to trouble ourselves,
but that it was indeed a hard task to pass long wearisome days in
waiting until a man's mind should be restored to a sense of propriety.
And that for this reason we had, perhaps, better separate at once. '
"This she said with such sarcastic bitterness that I was irritated and
stung to the quick, and overwhelmed her with a fresh torrent of
reproaches. At this juncture she gave way to an uncontrollable fit of
passion, and snatching up my hand, she thrust my little finger into
her mouth and bit off the end of it. Then, notwithstanding my pain, I
became quite cool and collected, and calmly said, 'insulted and maimed
as I have now been, it is most fitting that I should absent myself for
the future from polite society. Office and title would ill become me
now. Your spite has now left me without spirit to face the world in
which I should be ridiculed, and has left me no alternative but to
withdraw my maimed person from the public gaze! ' After I had alarmed
her by speaking in this exalted strain, I added, 'to-day we meet for
the last time,' and bending these fingers (pointing to them as she
spoke) I made the farewell remark:--
When on my fingers, I must say
I count the hours I spent with thee,
Is this, and this alone, I pray
The only pang you've caused to me?
You are now quits with me,' At the instant I said so, she burst into
tears and without premeditation, poured forth the following:--
'From me, who long bore grievous harms,
From that cold hand and wandering heart,
You now withdraw your sheltering arms,
And coolly tell me, we must part. '
"To speak the truth, I had no real intention of separating from her
altogether. For some time, however, I sent her no communication, and
was passing rather an unsettled life. Well! I was once returning from
the palace late one evening in November, after an experimental
practice of music for a special festival in the Temple of Kamo. Sleet
was falling heavily. The wind blew cold, and my road was dark and
muddy. There was no house near where I could make myself at home. To
return and spend a lonely night in the palace was not to be thought
of. At this moment a reflection flashed across my mind. 'How cold must
she feel whom I have treated so coldly,' thought I, and suddenly
became very anxious to know what she felt and what she was about. This
made me turn my steps towards her dwelling, and brushing away the snow
that had gathered on my shoulders I trudged on: at one moment shyly
biting my nails, at another thinking that on such a night at least all
her enmity towards me might be all melted away. I approached the
house. The curtains were not drawn, and I saw the dim light of a lamp
reflected on the windows. It was even perceivable that a soft quilt
was being warmed and thrown over the large couch. The scene was such
as to give you the notion that she was really anticipating that I
might come at least on such an evening. This gave me encouragement,
but alas! she whom I hoped to see was not at home. I was told she had
gone to her parents that very evening. Previous to that time, she had
sent me no sad verses, no conciliatory letter, and this had already
given birth to unpleasant feelings on my part. And at this moment,
when I was told that she had gone away, all these things seemed to
have been done almost purposely, and I involuntarily began to suspect
that her very jealousy had only been assumed by her on purpose to
cause me to become tired of her.
"As I reflected what our future might be after such an estrangement as
this, I was truly depressed. I did not, however, give up all hope,
thinking that she would not be so determined as to abandon me forever.
I had even carefully selected some stuff for a dress for her. Some
time, however, passed away without anything particularly occurring.
She neither accepted nor refused the offers of reconciliation which I
made to her. She did not, it is true, hide herself away like any of
those of whom I have spoken before. But, nevertheless, she did not
evince the slightest symptom of regret for her previous conduct.
"At last, after a considerable interval, she intimated to me that her
final resolve was not to forgive me any more if I intended in future
to behave as I had done before; but that, on the other hand, she
should be glad to see me again if I would thoroughly change my habits,
and treat her with the kindness which was her due. From this I became
more convinced that she still entertained longings for me. Hence, with
the hope of warning her a little more, I made no expressions of any
intention to make a change in my habits, and I tried to find out which
of us had the most patience.
"While matters were in this state, she, to my great surprise, suddenly
died, perhaps broken-hearted.
"I must now frankly confess that she certainly was a woman in whom a
man might place his confidence. Often, too, I had talked with her on
music and on poetry, as well as on the more important business of
life, and I found her to be by no means wanting in intellect and
capability. She had too the clever hands of Tatyta-hime[35] and
Tanabata. [36]
"When I recall these pleasant memories my heart still clings to her
endearingly. "
"Clever in weaving, she may have been like Tanabata, that is but a
small matter," interposed To-no-Chiujio, "we should have preferred to
have seen your love as enduring as Tanabata's. [37] Nothing is so
beautiful as the brilliant dyes spread over the face of Nature, yet
the red tints of autumn are often not dyed to a color so deep as we
desire, because of the early drying of the dew, so we say, 'such is
the uncertain fate of this world,'" and so saying, he made a sign to
Sama-no-Kami to go on with his story. He went on accordingly.
"About that time I knew another lady. She was on the whole a superior
kind of person. A fair poetess, a good musician, and a fluent speaker,
with good enunciation, and graceful in her movements. All these
admirable qualities I noticed myself, and heard them spoken of by
others. As my acquaintance with her commenced at the time when I was
not on the best of terms with my former companion, I was glad to enjoy
her society. The more I associated with her the more fascinating she
became.
"Meanwhile my first friend died, at which I felt truly sorry, still I
could not help it, and I therefore paid frequent visits to this one.
In the course of my attentions to her, however, I discovered many
unpleasant traits. She was not very modest, and did not appear to be
one whom a man could trust. On this account, I became somewhat
disappointed, and visited her less often. While matters were on this
footing I accidentally found out that she had another lover to whom
she gave a share of her heart.
"It happened that one inviting moonlight evening in October, I was
driving out from home on my way to a certain Dainagon. On the road I
met with a young noble who was going in the same direction. We
therefore drove together, and as we were journeying on, he told me
that 'some one might be waiting for him, and he was anxious to see
her'; well! by and by we arrived at the house of my lady-love. The
bright reflection of the waters of an ornamental lake was seen through
crevices in the walls; and the pale moon, as she shed her full
radiance over the shimmering waves, seemed to be charmed with the
beauty of the scene. It would have been heartless to pass by with
indifference, and we both descended from the carriage, without knowing
each other's intention.
"This youth seems to have been 'the other one'; he was rather shy. He
sat down on a mat of reeds that was spread beside a corridor near the
gateway; and, gazing up at the sky, meditated for some moments in
silence. The chrysanthemums in the gardens were in full bloom, whose
sweet perfume soothed us with its gentle influence; and round about us
the scarlet leaves of the maple were falling, as ever and anon they
were shaken by the breeze. The scene was altogether romantic.
"Presently, he took a flute out of his bosom and played. He then
whispered, 'Its shade is refreshing. '
"In a few minutes the fair one struck up responsively on a sweet-toned
_wagon_ (a species of _koto_).
"The melody was soft and exquisite, in charming strains of modern
music, and admirably adapted to the lovely evening. No wonder that he
was fascinated; he advanced towards the casement from which the sounds
proceeded, and glancing at the leaves scattered on the ground,
whispered in invidious tones, 'Sure no strange footsteps would ever
dare to press these leaves. ' He then culled a chrysanthemum, humming,
as he did so:--
'Even this spot, so fair to view
With moon, and Koto's gentle strain,
Could make no other lover true,
As me, thy fond, thy only swain. '
"'Wretched! ' he exclaimed, alluding to his poetry; and then added,
'One tune more! Stay not your hand when one is near, who so ardently
longs to hear you. ' Thus he began to flatter the lady, who, having
heard his whispers, replied thus, in a tender, hesitating voice:--
'Sorry I am my voice too low
To match thy flute's far sweeter sound;
Which mingles with the winds that blow
The Autumn leaves upon the ground. '
"Ah! she little thought I was a silent and vexed spectator of all this
flirtation. She then took up a _soh_ (another kind of _koto_ with
thirteen strings) and tuned it to a Banjiki key (a winter tune), and
played on it still more excellently. Though an admirer of music, I
cannot say that these bewitching melodies gave me any pleasure under
the peculiar circumstances I stood in.
"Now, romantic interludes, such as this, might be pleasant enough in
the case of maidens who are kept strictly in Court service, and whom
we have very little opportunity of meeting with, but even there we
should hesitate to make such a one our life companion. How much less
could one ever entertain such an idea in a case like my own? Making,
therefore, that evening's experience a ground of dissatisfaction I
never saw her more.
"Now, gentlemen, let us take into consideration these two instances
which have occurred to myself and see how equally unsatisfactory they
are. The one too jealous, the other too forward. Thus, early in life,
I found out how little reliance was to be placed on such characters.
And now I think so still more; and this opinion applies more
especially to the latter of the two. Dewdrops on the 'Hagi flower' of
beauty so delicate that they disappear as soon as we touch
them--hailstones on the bamboo grass that melt in our hand as soon as
we prick them--appear at a distance extremely tempting and attractive.
Take my humble advice, however, and go not near them. If you do not
appreciate this advice now, the lapse of another seven years will
render you well able to understand that such adventures will only
bring a tarnished fame. "
Thus Sama-no-Kami admonished them, and To-no-Chiujio nodded as usual.
Genji slightly smiled; perhaps he thought it was all very true, and he
said, "Your twofold experience was indeed disastrous and irritating! "
"Now," said To-no-Chiujio, "I will tell you a story concerning myself.
It was the evil fortune of Sama-no-Kami to meet with too much jealousy
in one of the ladies to whom he might otherwise have given his heart;
while he could feel no confidence in another owing to flirtations. It
was my hard lot to encounter an instance of excessive diffidence. I
once knew a girl whose person was altogether pleasing, and although I,
too, had no intention, as Sama-no-Kami said, of forming an everlasting
connection with her, I nevertheless took a great fancy to her. As our
acquaintance was prolonged, our mutual affection grew warmer. My
thoughts were always of her, and she placed entire confidence in me.
Now, when complete confidence is placed by one person in another, does
not Nature teach us to expect resentment when that confidence is
abused? No such resentment, however, seemed under any circumstances to
trouble her. When I very seldom visited her, she showed no excitement
or indignation, but behaved and looked as if we had never been
separated from each other. This patient silence was more trying to me
than reproaches. She was parentless and friendless. For this reason
responsibility weighed more heavily on me. Abusing her gentle nature,
however, I frequently neglected her. About this time, moreover, a
certain person who lived near her, discovered our friendship, and
frightened her by sending, through some channel, mischief-making
messages to her. This I did not become aware of till afterwards, and,
it seems, she was quite cast down and helpless. She had a little one
for whose sake, it appears, she was additionally sad. One day I
unexpectedly received a bunch of Nadeshiko[38] flowers. They were from
her. "
At this point To-no-Chiujio became gloomy.
"And what," inquired Genji, "were the words of her message? "
"Sir! nothing but the verse,
Forgot may be the lowly bed
From which these darling flowerets spring,
Still let a kindly dew be shed,
Upon their early nurturing.
"No sooner had I read this than I went to her at once. She was gentle
and sedate as usual, but evidently absent and preoccupied. Her eyes
rested on the dew lying on the grass in the garden, and her ears were
intent upon the melancholy singing of the autumn insects. It was as if
we were in a real romance. I said to her:--
When with confused gaze we view
The mingled flowers on gay parterre,
Amid their blooms of radiant hue
The Tokonatz,[39] my love, is there.
And avoiding all allusion to the Nadeshiko flowers, I repeatedly
endeavored to comfort the mother's heart. She murmured in reply:--
'Ah! Flower already bent with dew,
The winds of autumn cold and chill
Will wither all thy beauteous hue,
And soon, alas, unpitying kill. '
Thus she spoke sadly. But she reproached me no further. The tears came
involuntarily into her eyes. She was, however, apparently sorry for
this, and tried to conceal them. On the whole she behaved as if she
meant to show that she was quite accustomed to such sorrows. I
certainly deeply sympathized with her, yet still further abusing her
patience. I did not visit her again for some time; but I was
punished. When I did so she had flown, leaving no traces behind her.
If she is still living she must needs be passing a miserable
existence.
"Now, if she had been free from this excessive diffidence, this apathy
of calmness, if she had complained when it was necessary, with
becoming warmth and spirit, she need never have been a wanderer, and I
would never have abused her confidence. But, as I said before, a woman
who has no strength of emotion, no passionate bursts of sorrow or of
joy, can never retain a dominion over us.
"I loved this woman without understanding her nature; and I am
constantly, but in vain, trying to find her and her little darling,
who was also very lovely; and often I think with grief and pain that,
though I may succeed in forgetting her, she may possibly not be able
to forget me, and, surely, there must be many an evening when she is
disquieted by sad memories of the past.
"Let us now sum up our experiences, and reflect on the lessons which
they teach us. One who bites your finger will easily estrange your
affection by her violence. Falseness and forwardness will be the
reproach of some other, in spite of her melodious music and the
sweetness of her songs. A third, too self-contained and too gentle, is
open to the charge of a cold silence, which oppresses one, and cannot
be understood.
"Whom, then, are we to choose? All this variety, and this perplexing
difficulty of choice, seems to be the common lot of humanity. Where,
again, I say, are we to go to find the one who will realize our
desires? Shall we fix our aspirations on the beautiful goddess, the
heavenly Kichijio? [40] Ah! this would be but superstitious and
impracticable. "
So mournfully finished To-no-Chiujio; and all his companions, who had
been attentively listening, burst simultaneously into laughter at his
last allusion.
"And now, Shikib, it is your turn. Tell us your story," exclaimed
To-no-Chiujio, turning to him.
"What worth hearing can your humble servant tell you? "
"Go on; be quick; don't be shy; let us hear! "
Shikib-no-Jio, after a little meditation, thus began:--
"When I was a student at the University, I met there with a woman of
very unusual intelligence. She was in every respect one with whom, as
Sama-no-Kami has said, you could discuss affairs, both public and
private. Her dashing genius and eloquence were such that all ordinary
scholars would find themselves unable to cope with her, and would be
at once reduced to silence. Now, my story is as follows:--
"I was taking lessons from a certain professor, who had several
daughters, and she was one of them. It happened by some chance or
other I fell much into her society. The professor, who noticed this,
once took up a wine-cup in his hand, and said to me, 'Hear what I sing
about two choices. '[41]
"This was a plain offer put before me, and thenceforward I endeavored,
for the sake of his tuition, to make myself as agreeable as possible
to his daughter. I tell you frankly, however, that I had no particular
affection for her, though she seemed already to regard me as her
victim. She seized every opportunity of pointing out to me the way in
which we should have to steer, both in public and private life. When
she wrote to me she never employed the effeminate style of the
Kana,[42] but wrote, oh! so magnificently! The great interest which
she took in me induced me to pay frequent visits to her; and, by
making her my tutor, I learned how to compose ordinary Chinese poems.
However, though I do not forget all these benefits, and though it is
no doubt true that our wife or daughter should not lack intelligence,
yet, for the life of me, I cannot bring myself to approve of a woman
like this. And still less likely is it that such could be of any use
to the wives of high personages like yourselves. Give me a lovable
nature in lieu of sharpness! I quite agree with Sama-no-Kami on this
point. "
"What an interesting woman she must have been," exclaimed
To-no-Chiujio, with the intention of making Shikib go on with his
story.
This he fully understood, and, making a grimace, he thus proceeded:--
"Once when I went to her after a long absence--a way we all have, you
know--she did not receive me openly as usual, but spoke to me from
behind a screen. I surmised that this arose from chagrin at my
negligence, and I intended to avail myself of this opportunity to
break with her. But the sagacious woman was a woman of the world, and
not like those who easily lose their temper or keep silence about
their grief. She was quite as open and frank as Sama-no-Kami would
approve of. She told me, in a low clear voice, 'I am suffering from
heartburn, and I cannot, therefore, see you face to face; yet, if you
have anything important to say to me, I will listen to you. ' This was,
no doubt, a plain truth; but what answer could I give to such a
terribly frank avowal? 'Thank you,' said I, simply; and I was just on
the point of leaving, when, relenting, perhaps, a little, she said
aloud, 'Come again soon, and I shall be all right. ' To pass this
unnoticed would have been impolite; yet I did not like to remain there
any longer, especially under such circumstances: so, looking askance,
I said--
Here I am, then why excuse me, is my visit all in vain:
And my consolation is, you tell me, come again?
No sooner had I said this than she dashed out as follows with a
brilliancy of repartee which became a woman of her genius:--
'If we fond lovers were, and meeting every night,
I should not be ashamed, were it even in the light! '
"Nonsense, nonsense! " cried Genji and the others, who either were, or
pretended to be, quite shocked. "Where can there be such a woman as
that? She must have been a devil! Fearful! fearful! " And, snapping
their fingers with disapproving glances, they said, "Do tell us
something better--do give us a better story than that. "
Shikib-no-Jio, however, quietly remarked: "I have nothing else to
relate," and remained silent.
Hereupon a conversation took place to the following effect:--
"It is a characteristic of thoughtless people--and that, without
distinction of sex--that they try to show off their small
accomplishments. This is, in the highest degree, unpleasant. As for
ladies, it may not, indeed, be necessary to be thorough master of the
three great histories, and the five classical texts; yet they ought
not to be destitute of some knowledge of both public and private
affairs, and this knowledge can be imperceptibly acquired without any
regular study of them, which, though superficial, will yet be amply
sufficient to enable them to talk pleasantly about them with their
friends.
But how contemptible they would seem if this made them vain
of it! The Manna[43] style and pedantic phrases were not meant for
them; and, if they use them, the public will only say, 'would that
they would remember that they are women and not men,' and they would
only incur the reproach of being pedants, as many ladies, especially
among the aristocracy, do. Again, while they should not be altogether
unversed in poetical compositions, they should never be slaves to
them, or allow themselves to be betrayed into using strange
quotations, the only consequence of which would be that they would
appear to be bold when they ought to be reserved, and abstracted when
very likely they have practical duties to attend to. How utterly
inappropriate, for instance, it would be on the May festival[44] if,
while the attention of all present was concentrated on the solemnity
of the occasion, the thoughts of these ladies were wandering on their
own poetical imaginations about 'sweet flags;' or if, again, on the
Ninth-day festival,[45] when all the nobles present were exercising
their inventive faculties on the subject of Chinese poems, they were
to volunteer to pour forth their grand ideas on the dew-laid flowers
of the chrysanthemum, thus endeavoring to rival their opponents of the
stronger sex. There is a time for everything; and all people, but more
especially women, should be constantly careful to watch circumstances,
and not to air their accomplishments at a time when nobody cares for
them. They should practise a sparing economy in displaying their
learning and eloquence, and should even, if circumstances require,
plead ignorance on subjects with which they are familiar. "
As to Genji, even these last observations seemed only to encourage his
reverie still to run upon a certain one, whom he considered to be the
happy medium between the too much and the too little; and, no definite
conclusion having been arrived at through the conversation, the
evening passed away.
The long-continued rainy weather had now cleared up bright and fine,
and the Prince Genji proceeded to the mansion of his father-in-law,
where Lady Aoi, his bride, still resided with him. She was in her
private suite of apartments, and he soon joined her there. She was
dignified and stately, both in manners and demeanor, and everything
about her bore traces of scrupulous neatness.
"Such may be one of those described by Sama-no-Kami, in whom we may
place confidence," he thought, as he approached her. At the same time,
her lofty queenliness caused him to feel a momentary embarrassment,
which he at once tried to hide by chatting with the attendant maid.
The air was close and heavy, and he was somewhat oppressed by it. His
father-in-law happened to pass by the apartment. He stopped and
uttered a few words from behind the curtain which overhung the door.
"In this hot weather," said Genji, in a low tone, "what makes him come
here? " and did not give the slightest encouragement to induce his
father-in-law to enter the room; so he passed along. All present
smiled significantly, and tittered. "How indiscreet! " exclaimed Genji,
glancing at them reprovingly, and throwing himself back on a _kio-sok_
(arm-stool), where he remained calm and silent.
It was, by no means, becoming behavior on the part of the Prince.
The day was drawing to an end when it was announced that the mansion
was closed in the certain celestial direction of the Naka-gami
(central God). [46] His own mansion in Nijio (the one mentioned as
being repaired in a previous chapter) was also in the same line of
direction.
"Where shall I go then? " said Genji, and without troubling himself any
further, went off into a doze. All present expressed in different
words their surprise at his unusual apathy. Thereupon some one
reported that the residence of Ki-no-Kami, who was in waiting on the
Prince, on the banks of the middle river (the River Kiogok) had lately
been irrigated by bringing the stream into its gardens, making them
cool and refreshing.
"That's very good, especially on such a close evening," exclaimed
Genji, rousing himself, and he at once intimated to Ki-no-Kami his
desire of visiting his house. To which the latter answered simply,
"Yes. " He did not, however, really like the Prince's visit, and was
reluctantly telling his fellow attendants that, owing to a certain
circumstance which had taken place at Iyo-no-Kami's[47] residence, his
wife (Ki-no-Kami's stepmother) had taken up her abode with him that
very evening, and that the rooms were all in confusion.
Genji heard all this distinctly, but he would not change his mind, and
said, "That is all the better! I don't care to stay in a place where
no fair statue dwells; it is slow work. "
Being thus pressed, no alternative remained for the Ki-no-Kami, and a
messenger was despatched to order the preparation of apartments for
the Prince. Not long after this messenger had gone, Genji started on
his way to the house of Ki-no-Kami, whose mild objections against this
quick proceeding were not listened to.
He left the mansion as quietly as possible, even without taking formal
leave of its master, and his escort consisted of a few favorite
attendants.
The "eastern front room" in the "dwelling quarters" was wide open, and
a temporary arrangement was made for the reception of the Prince, who
arrived there very quickly. The scene of the garden struck him before
anything else. The surface of the lake sparkled with its glittering
waters. The hedges surrounded it in rustic beauty, and luxuriant
shrubs grew in pleasing order. Over all the fair scene the breeze of
evening swept softly, summer insects sang distinctly here and there,
and the fireflies hovered about in mazy dances.
The escort took up its quarters in a position which overlooked the
stream of water which ran beneath the corridor, and here began to take
cups of _sake_. The host hastened to order also some refreshment to be
prepared for Genji.
The latter was meanwhile gazing abstractedly about him, thinking such
a place might belong to the class which Sama-no-Kami fairly placed in
the middle category. He knew that the lady who was under the same roof
was a young beauty of whom he had heard something before, and he was
looking forward to a chance of seeing her.
He then noticed the rustling of a silken dress escaping from a small
boudoir to the right, and some youthful voices, not without charm,
were also heard, mingled with occasional sounds of suppressed
laughter. The casement of the boudoir had been, until a short time
before, open, but was pulled down by order of Ki-no-Kami, who,
perhaps, doubted the propriety of its being as it was, and now only
allowed a struggling light to issue through the paper of the "sliding
screen! " He proceeded to one side of his room that he might see what
could be seen, but there was no chance. He still stood there that he
might be able, at least, to catch some part of the conversation. It
seems that this boudoir adjoined the general family room of the female
inmates, and his ears were greeted by some faint talking. He inclined
his head attentively, and heard them whispering probably about
himself.
"Is it not a pity that the fate of so fine a prince should be already
fixed? " said one voice.
"Yet he loses no opportunity of availing himself of the favors of
fortune," added another.
These remarks may have been made with no serious intention, but as to
Genji, he, even in hearing them, could not help thinking of a certain
fair image of which he so fondly dreamt. At the same time feeling a
thrill on reflecting that, if this kind of secret were to be
discovered and discussed in such a manner, what could be done.
He then heard an observation in delicate allusion to his verse which
he had presented to the Princess Momo-zono (peach-gardens) with the
flowers of Asagao (morning-glory, or convolvulus).
"What _cautious_ beauties they are to talk in that way! But I wonder
if their forms when seen will answer to the pictures of my fancy,"
thought Genji, as he retired to his original position, for he could
hear nothing more interesting.
Ki-no-Kami presently entered the room, brought in some fruits, trimmed
the lamp, and the visitor and host now began to enjoy a pleasant
leisure.
"What has become of the ladies? Without some of them no society is
cheerful," observed Genji.
"Who can there be to meet such wishes? " said the Ki-no-Kami to
himself, but took no notice of Genji's remark.
There were several boys in the house who had followed Ki-no-Kami into
the room. They were the sons and brothers of Ki-no-Kami. Among them
there was one about twelve or thirteen, who was nicer-looking than the
others. Genji, of course, did not know who they all were, and
accordingly made inquiries. When he came to the last-mentioned boy,
Ki-no-Kami replied:--
"He is the youngest son of the late Lord Yemon, now an orphan, and,
from his sister's connections, he is now staying here. He is shrewd
and unlike ordinary boys. His desire is to take Court service, but he
has as yet no patron. "
"What a pity! Is, then, the sister you mentioned your stepmother? "
"Yes, sir, it is so. "
"What a good mother you have got. I once overheard the Emperor, to
whom, I believe, a private application had been some time made in her
behalf, referring to her, said, 'What has become of her? ' Is she here
now? " said Genji; and lowering his voice, added, "How changeable are
the fortunes of the world! "
"It is her present state, sir. But, as you may perceive, it differs
from her original expectation. Changeable indeed are the fortunes of
this world, especially so the fortunes of women! "
"Does Iyo respect her? Perhaps he idolizes her, as his master. "
"That is a question, perhaps, as a _private_ master. I am the foremost
to disapprove of this infatuation on his part. "
"Are you? Nevertheless he trusts her to such a one as you. He is a
kind father! But where are they all? "
"All in their private apartments. "
Genji by this time apparently desired to be alone, and Ki-no-Kami now
retired with the boys. All the escort were already slumbering
comfortably, each on his own cool rush mat, under the pleasant
persuasion of _sake_.
Genji was now alone. He tried to doze, but could not. It was late in
the evening, and all was still around. His sharpened senses made him
aware that the room next but one to his own was occupied, which led
him to imagine that the lady of whom he had been speaking might be
there. He rose softly, and once more proceeded to the other side of
the room to listen to what he might overhear. He heard a tender voice,
probably that of Kokimi, the boy spoken of before, who appeared to
have just entered the room, saying:--
"Are you here? "
To which a female voice replied, "Yes, dear, but has the visitor yet
retired? " And the same voice added--
"Ah! so near, and yet so far! "
"Yes, I should think so, he is so nice-looking, as they say. "
"Were it daytime I would see him, too," said the lady in a drowsy
voice.
"I shall go to bed, too! But what a bad light," said the boy, and
Genji conjectured that he had been trimming the lamp.
The lady presently clapped her hands for a servant, and said, "Where
is Chiujio, I feel lonely, I wish to see her. "
"Madam, she is in the bath now, she will be here soon," replied the
servant.
"Suppose I pay my visit to her, too? What harm! no harm, perhaps,"
said Genji to himself. He withdrew the fastening of the intervening
door, on the other side there was none, and it opened. The entrance to
the room where the lady was sitting was only screened by a curtain,
with a glimmering light inside. By the reflection of this light he saw
travelling trunks and bags all scattered about; through these he
groped his way and approached the curtain. He saw, leaning on a
cushion, the small and pretty figure of a lady, who did not seem to
notice his approach, probably thinking it was Chiujio, for whom she
had sent. Genji felt nervous, but struggling against the feeling,
startled the lady by saying:--
"Chiujio was called for, I thought it might mean myself, and I come to
offer you my devoted services. "
This was really an unexpected surprise, and the lady was at a loss.
"It is, of course, natural," he said, "you should be astonished at my
boldness, but pray excuse me. It is solely from my earnest desire to
show at such an opportunity the great respect for you which I have
felt for a very long time. "
He was clever enough to know how to speak, and what to say, under all
circumstances, and made the above speech in such an extremely humble
and insinuating manner that the demon himself could not have taken
offence, so she forbore to show any sudden resentment. She had,
however, grave doubts as to the propriety of his conduct, and felt
somewhat uncomfortable, saying shyly, "Perhaps you have made a
mistake! "
"No, certainly not," he replied. "What mistake can I have made? On the
other hand, I have no wish to offend you. The evening, however, is
very irksome, and I should feel obliged if you would permit me to
converse with you. " Then gently taking her hand he pressed her to
return with him to his lonely apartment.
She was still young and weak, and did not know what was most proper to
do under these circumstances, so half yielding, half reluctantly was
induced to be led there by him.
At this juncture Chiujio, for whom she had sent previously, entered
the room. Upon which Genji exclaimed "Ha! "
Chiujio stared with astonishment at him, whom she at once recognized
as the Prince, by the rich perfume which he carried about him.
"What does this mean? " thought Chiujio. She could still do nothing.
Had he been an ordinary personage she would have immediately seized
him. Even in that case, however, there was enough room to doubt
whether it would not have been better to avoid any violent steps lest
it might have given rise to a disagreeable family scandal, hence
Chiujio was completely perplexed and mechanically followed them.
Genji was too bold to fear bystanders, a common fault with high
personages, and coolly closed the door upon her saying, "She will soon
return to you. "
The lady being placed in such an awkward position, and not knowing
what Chiujio might imagine, became, as it were, bewildered. Genji was,
however, as artful and insinuating as might be expected in consoling
her, though we do not know where he had learnt his eloquence. This was
really trying for her, and she said, "Your condescension is beyond my
merit. I cannot disregard it. It is, however, absolutely necessary to
know 'Who is who. '"
"But such ignorance," he a little abashed, rejoined "as not to know
'Who is who,' is the very proof of my inexperience. Were I supposed to
understand too well, I should indeed be sorry. You have very likely
heard how little I mix in the world. This perhaps is the very reason
why you distrust me. The excess of the blindness of my mind seems
strange even to myself. "
He spoke thus insinuatingly. She, on her part, feared that if his
fascinating address should assume a warmer tone it would be still
more trying for her and more difficult to withstand, so she
determined, however hard she might appear, not to give any
encouragement to his feelings, and showed therefore a coolness of
manner. To her meek character there was thus added a firm resolution,
and it seemed like a young bamboo reed with its strength and
tenderness combined, difficult to bend! Still she felt the struggle
very keenly, and tears moistened her eyes.
Genji could not help feeling touched. Not knowing exactly how to
soothe her, he exclaimed, "What makes you treat me so coolly? It is
true we are not old acquaintances, but it does not follow that this
should prevent us from becoming good friends. Please don't discompose
yourself like one who does not know the world at all: it pierces my
heart. "
This speech touched her, and her firmness began to waver.
"Were my position what it once was," said she, "and I received such
attention, I might, however unworthy, have been moved by your
affection, but as my position in life is now changed, its
unsatisfactory condition often makes me dream of a happiness I cannot
hope to enjoy. " Hereupon she remained silent for some moments, and
looked as if she meant to say that she could no longer help thinking
of the line:--
Don't tell anyone you've seen my home.
But these few moments of silence agitated the pure waters of her
virtuous mind, and the sudden recollection of her aged husband, whom
she did not generally think much about, occurred tenderly to her
memory. She shuddered at the idea of his seeing her in such a dilemma
as this, even in a dream, and without a word fled back to her
apartment, and Genji was once more alone.
Now the chanticleer began to proclaim the coming day, and the
attendants rose from their couches, some exclaiming "How soundly we
have slept," others, "Let us get the carriage ready. "
Ki-no-Kami also came out saying, "Why so early, no need of such hurry
for the Prince. "
Genji also arose, and putting on his _naoshi_, went out on a balcony
on the southern side of the house, where he leaned upon the wooden
balustrade and meditated as he looked round him.
It appears that people were peeping out of the casement on the western
side, probably being anxious to catch a glimpse of the Prince, whose
figure was indistinctly to be seen by them from the top of a short
screen standing within the trellis. Among these spectators there was
one who perhaps might have felt a thrill run through her frame as she
beheld him. It was the very moment when the sky was being tinted by
the glowing streaks of morn, and the moon's pale light was still
lingering in the far distance. The aspect of the passionless heavens
becomes radiant or gloomy in response to the heart of him who looks
upon it. And to Genji, whose thoughts were secretly occupied with the
events of the evening, the scene could only have given rise to
sorrowful emotions.
Reflecting how he might on some future occasion convey a message to
the lady, and looking back several times, he presently quitted the
house and returned to the mansion of his father-in-law.
During some days succeeding the above events, he was staying at the
mansion with his bride. His thoughts, however, were now constantly
turning to the lady on the bank of the middle river. He therefore
summoned Ki-no-Kami before him, and thus addressed him:--
"Cannot you let me have the boy, the son of the late Chiunagon[48]
whom I saw the other day? He is a nice lad, and I wish to have him
near at hand. I will also introduce him to the Emperor. "
"I receive your commands. I will talk with his _sister_, and see if
she consents to it," replied Ki-no-Kami with a bow.
These last words alluding to the object which occupied his thoughts
caused Genji to start, but he said with apparent calmness--
"Has the lady presented you yet with a brother or a sister? "
"No, sir, not yet; she has been married now these two years, but it
seems she is always thinking she is not settled in the way her parents
desired, and is not quite contented with her position. "
"What a pity! I heard, however, she was a very good lady. Is it so? "
"Yes, I quite believe so; but hitherto we have lived separately, and
were not very cordial, which, as all the world knows, is usual in such
relationship. "
After the lapse of five or six days the boy Kokimi was brought to
him. He was not tall or handsome but very intelligent, and in manners
perfectly well-bred. Genji treated him with the greatest kindness, at
which, in his boyish mind, he was highly delighted. Genji now asked
him many questions about his sister, to which he gave such answers as
he could, but often with shyness and diffidence. Hence Genji was
unable to take him into his confidence, but by skilfully coaxing and
pleasing him, he ventured to hand him a letter to be taken to his
sister. The boy, though he possibly guessed at its meaning, did not
trouble himself much, but taking it, duly delivered it to his sister.
She became confused and thoughtful as she took it, and fearing what
the boy might think, opened the letter and held it before her face as
she read, in order to conceal the expression of her countenance.
It was a long one, and among other things contained the following
lines:--
I had a dream, a dream so sweet,
Ah! would that I could dream again;
Alas, no sleep these eyes will greet,
And so I strive to dream in vain!
It was beautifully written, and as her eyes fell upon the passionate
words, a mist gathered over them, and a momentary thought of her own
life and position once more flashed over her mind, and without a word
of comment to the boy, she retired to rest.
A few days afterwards Kokimi was again invited to join the Prince.
Thereupon he asked his sister to give him an answer to the Prince's
letter.
"Tell the Prince," she said, "there is no one _here_ who reads such
letters. "
"But," said the boy, "he does not expect such an answer as this! How
can I tell him so? "
At first, she half-resolved to explain everything to Kokimi, and to
make him thoroughly understand why she ought not to receive such
letters, but the effort was too painful, so she simply said, "It is
all the better for you not to talk in that way. If you think it so
serious why should you go to him at all? "
"Yet, how can I disobey his commands to go back? " exclaimed the boy,
and so he returned to Genji without any written answer to him.
"I was weary of waiting for you. Perhaps you, too, had forgotten me,"
said Genji, when he saw the boy, who was, however, silent and blushed.
"And what answer have you brought me?
