No More Learning

Whatso he willed did he; and nowdays albe his uncle 5
---- he, no word ever that uncle shall speak.

Gellius had heard that his uncle was wont to be wroth, if any spake of or
practised love-sportings. That this should not happen to him, he kneaded up
his uncle's wife herself, and made of his uncle a god of silence. Whatever
he wished, he did; for now, even if he irrumate his uncle's self, not a
word will that uncle murmur.

LXXVII.

Rufe mihi frustra ac nequiquam credite amico
(Frustra? immo magno cum pretio atque malo),
Sicine subrepsti mei, atque intestina perurens
Ei misero eripuisti omnia nostra bona?
Eripuisti, heu heu nostrae crudele venenum 5
Vitae, heu heu nostrae pestis amicitiae.
Sed nunc id doleo, quod purae pura puellae
Savia conminxit spurca saliva tua.
Verum id non inpune feres: nam te omnia saecla
Noscent, et qui sis fama loquetur anus. 10

LXXVII.

TO RUFUS, THE TRAITOR FRIEND.

Rufus, trusted as friend by me, so fruitlessly, vainly,
(Vainly? nay to my bane and at a ruinous price! )
Hast thou cajoled me thus, and enfiring innermost vitals,
Ravished the whole of our good own'd by wretchedest me?
Ravished; (alas and alas! ) of our life thou cruellest cruel 5
Venom, (alas and alas! ) plague of our friendship and pest.
Yet must I now lament that lips so pure of the purest
Damsel, thy slaver foul soiled with filthiest kiss.
But ne'er hope to escape scot free; for thee shall all ages
Know, and what thing thou be, Fame, the old crone, shall declare. 10

O Rufus, credited by me as a friend, wrongly and for naught, (wrongly? nay,
at an ill and grievous price) hast thou thus stolen upon me, and a-burning
my innermost bowels, snatched from wretched me all our good? Thou hast
snatched it, alas, alas, thou cruel venom of our life! alas, alas, thou
plague of our amity. But now 'tis grief, that thy swinish slaver has soiled
the pure love-kisses of our pure girl. But in truth thou shalt not come off
with impunity; for every age shall know thee, and Fame the aged, shall
denounce what thou art.

LXXVIII.

Gallus habet fratres, quorumst lepidissima coniunx
Alterius, lepidus filius alterius.
Gallus homost bellus: nam dulces iungit amores,
Cum puero ut bello bella puella cubet.
Gallus homost stultus nec se videt esse maritum, 5
Qui patruos patrui monstret adulterium.

LXXVIII.

OF GALLUS.

Gallus hath brothers in pair, this owning most beautiful consort,
While unto that is given also a beautiful son.
Gallus is charming as man; for sweet loves ever conjoins he,
So that the charming lad sleep wi' the charmer his lass.
Gallus is foolish wight, nor self regards he as husband, 5
When being uncle how nuncle to cuckold he show.

Gallus has brothers, one of whom has a most charming spouse, the other a
charming son. Gallus is a nice fellow! for pandering to their sweet loves,
he beds together the nice lad and the nice aunt. Gallus is a foolish fellow
not to see that he is himself a husband who as an uncle shews how to
cuckold an uncle.

LXXVIIII.

Lesbius est pulcher: quid ni? quem Lesbia malit
Quam te cum tota gente, Catulle, tua.
Sed tamen hic pulcher vendat cum gente Catullum,
Si tria notorum savia reppererit.

LXXVIIII.

OF LESBIUS.

Lesbius is beauty-man: why not? when Lesbia wills him
Better, Catullus, than thee backed by the whole of thy clan.
Yet may that beauty-man sell all his clan with Catullus,
An of three noted names greeting salute he can gain.

Lesbius is handsome: why not so? when Lesbia prefers him to thee, Catullus,
and to thy whole tribe. Yet this handsome one may sell Catullus and his
tribe if from three men of note he can gain kisses of salute.

LXXX.

Quid dicam, Gelli, quare rosea ista labella
Hiberna fiant candidiora nive,
Mane domo cum exis et cum te octava quiete
E molli longo suscitat hora die?
Nescioquid certest: an vere fama susurrat 5
Grandia te medii tenta vorare viri?
Sic certest: clamant Victoris rupta miselli
Ilia, et emulso labra notata sero.

LXXX.

TO GELLIUS.

How shall I (Gellius! ) tell what way lips rosy as thine are
Come to be bleached and blanched whiter than wintry snow,
Whenas thou quittest the house a-morn, and at two after noon-tide
Roused from quiet repose, wakest for length of the day?
Certes sure am I not an Rumour rightfully whisper 5
* * * *
* * * *
* * * *

What shall I say, Gellius, wherefore those lips, erstwhile rosy-red, have
become whiter than wintery snow, thou leaving home at morn and when the
noontide hour arouses thee from soothing slumber to face the longsome day?
I know not forsure! but is Rumour gone astray with her whisper that thou
devourest the well-grown tenseness of a man's middle? So forsure it must
be! the ruptured guts of wretched Virro cry it aloud, and thy lips marked
with lately-drained [Greek: semen] publish the fact.

LXXXI.

Nemone in tanto potuit populo esse, Iuventi,
Bellus homo, quem tu diligere inciperes,
Praeterquam iste tuus moribunda a sede Pisauri
Hospes inaurata pallidior statua,
Qui tibi nunc cordist, quem tu praeponere nobis 5
Audes, et nescis quod facinus facias.

LXXXI.

TO JUVENTIUS.

Could there never be found in folk so thronging (Juventius! )
Any one charming thee whom thou couldst fancy to love,
Save and except that host from deadliest site of Pisaurum,
Wight than a statue gilt wanner and yellower-hued,
Whom to thy heart thou takest and whom thou darest before us 5
Choose? But villain what deed doest thou little canst wot!

Could there be no one in so great a crowd, Juventius, no gallant whom thou
couldst fall to admiring, beyond him, the guest of thy hearth from moribund
Pisaurum, wanner than a gilded statue? Who now is in thine heart, whom thou
darest to place above us, and knowest not what crime thou dost commit.

LXXXII.

Quinti, si tibi vis oculos debere Catullum
Aut aliud siquid carius est oculis,
Eripere ei noli, multo quod carius illi
Est oculis seu quid carius est oculis.

LXXXII.

TO QUINTIUS.

Quintius! an thou wish that Catullus should owe thee his eyes
Or aught further if aught dearer can be than his eyes,
Thou wilt not ravish from him what deems he dearer and nearer
E'en than his eyes if aught dearer there be than his eyes.

Quintius, if thou dost wish Catullus to owe his eyes to thee, or aught, if
such may be, dearer than his eyes, be unwilling to snatch from him what is
much dearer to him than his eyes, or than aught which itself may be dearer
to him than his eyes.

LXXXIII.

Lesbia mi praesente viro mala plurima dicit:
Haec illi fatuo maxima laetitiast.
Mule, nihil sentis. si nostri oblita taceret,
Sana esset: nunc quod gannit et obloquitur,
Non solum meminit, sed quae multo acrior est res 5
Iratast. Hoc est, uritur et coquitur.

LXXXIII.

OF LESBIA'S HUSBAND.

Lesbia heaps upon me foul words her mate being present;
Which to that simple soul causes the fullest delight.
Mule! naught sensest thou: did she forget us in silence,
Whole she had been; but now whatso she rails and she snarls,
Not only dwells in her thought, but worse and even more risky, 5
Wrathful she bides. Which means, she is afire and she fumes.

Lesbia in her lord's presence says the utmost ill about me: this gives the
greatest pleasure to that ninny. Ass, thou hast no sense! if through
forgetfulness she were silent about us, it would be well: now that she
snarls and scolds, not only does she remember, but what is a far bitterer
thing, she is enraged. That is, she inflames herself and ripens her
passion.

LXXXIIII.

Chommoda dicebat, si quando commoda vellet
Dicere, et insidias Arrius hinsidias,
Et tum mirifice sperabat se esse locutum,
Cum quantum poterat dixerat hinsidias.
Credo, sic mater, sic Liber avonculus eius, 5
Sic maternus avos dixerat atque avia.
Hoc misso in Syriam requierant omnibus aures:
Audibant eadem haec leniter et leviter,
Nec sibi postilla metuebant talia verba,
Cum subito adfertur nuntius horribilis, 10
Ionios fluctus, postquam illuc Arrius isset,
Iam non Ionios esse, sed Hionios.

LXXXIIII.

ON ARRIUS, A ROMAN 'ARRY.

Wont is Arrius say "Chommodious" whenas "commodious"
Means he, and "Insidious" aspirate "Hinsidious,"
What time flattering self he speaks with marvellous purity,
Clamouring "Hinsidious" loudly as ever he can.
Deem I thus did his dame and thus-wise Liber his uncle 5
Speak, and on spindle-side grandsire and grandmother too.
Restful reposed all ears when he was sent into Syria,
Hearing the self-same words softly and smoothly pronounced,
Nor any feared to hear such harshness uttered thereafter,
Whenas a sudden came message of horrible news, 10
Namely th' Ionian waves when Arrius thither had wended,
Were "Ionian" no more--they had "Hionian" become.

_Chommodious_ did Arrius say, whenever he had need to say commodious, and
for insidious _hinsidious_, and felt confident he spoke with accent
wondrous fine, when aspirating _hinsidious_ to the full of his lungs. I
understand that his mother, his uncle Liber, his maternal grand-parents all
spoke thus. He being sent into Syria, everyone's ears were rested, hearing
these words spoken smoothly and slightly, nor after that did folk fear such
words from him, when on a sudden is brought the nauseous news that th'
Ionian waves, after Arrius' arrival thither, no longer are Ionian hight,
but are now the _Hionian Hocean_.

LXXXV.

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

LXXXV.

HOW THE POET LOVES.

Hate I, and love I. Haps thou'lt ask me wherefore I do so.
Wot I not, yet so I do feeling a torture of pain.

I hate and I love. Wherefore do I so, peradventure thou askest. I know not,
but I feel it to be thus and I suffer.

LXXXVI.

Quintia formosast multis, mihi candida, longa,
Rectast. haec ego sic singula confiteor,
Totum illud formosa nego: nam nulla venustas,
Nulla in tam magnost corpore mica salis.
Lesbia formosast, quae cum pulcherrima totast, 5
Tum omnibus una omnes surripuit Veneres.

LXXXVI.

OF QUINTIA.

Quintia beautiful seems to the crowd; to me, fair, and tall,
Straight; and merits as these readily thus I confess,
But that she is beauteous all I deny, for nothing of lovesome,
Never a grain of salt, shows in her person so large.
Lesbia beautiful seems, and when all over she's fairest, 5
Any Venus-gift stole she from every one.

Quintia is lovely to many; to me she is fair, tall, and shapely. Each of
these qualities I grant. But that all these make loveliness I deny: for
nothing of beauty nor scintilla of sprightliness is in her body so massive.
Lesbia is lovely, for whilst the whole of her is most beautiful, she has
stolen for herself every love-charm from all her sex.

LXXXVII.

Nulla potest mulier tantum se dicere amatam
Vere, quantum a me Lesbia amata mea's.
Nulla fides ullo fuit umquam foedere tanta,
Quanta in amore tuo ex parte reperta meast.
Nunc est mens diducta tua, mea Lesbia, culpa, LXXV
Atque ita se officio perdidit ipsa suo,
Vt iam nec bene velle queat tibi, si optima fias,
Nec desistere amare, omnia si facias.

LXXXVII.

TO LESBIA.

Never a woman could call herself so fondly beloved
Truly as Lesbia mine has been beloved of myself.
Never were Truth and Faith so firm in any one compact
As on the part of me kept I my love to thyself.
Now is my mind to a pass, my Lesbia, brought by thy treason, LXXV
So in devotion to thee lost is the duty self due,
Nor can I will thee well if best of women thou prove thee,
Nor can I cease to love, do thou what doings thou wilt.

No woman can say with truth that she has been loved as much as thou,
Lesbia, hast been loved by me: no love-troth was ever so greatly observed
as in love of thee on my part has been found.

Now is my mind so led apart, my Lesbia, by thy fault, and has so lost
itself by its very worship, that now it can not wish well to thee, wert
thou to become most perfect, nor cease to love thee, do what thou wilt!

LXXVI.

Siqua recordanti benefacta priora voluptas
Est homini, cum se cogitat esse pium,
Nec sanctam violasse fidem, nec foedere in ullo
Divom ad fallendos numine abusum homines,
Multa parata manent in longa aetate, Catulle, 5
Ex hoc ingrato gaudia amore tibi.
Nam quaecumque homines bene cuiquam aut dicere possunt
Aut facere, haec a te dictaque factaque sunt;
Omniaque ingratae perierunt credita menti.
Quare iam te cur amplius excrucies? 10
Quin tu animo offirmas atque istinc teque reducis
Et dis invitis desinis esse miser?
Difficilest longum subito deponere amorem.
Difficilest, verum hoc quae lubet efficias.
Vna salus haec est, hoc est tibi pervincendum: 15
Hoc facias, sive id non pote sive pote.
O di, si vestrumst misereri, aut si quibus umquam
Extremam iam ipsa morte tulistis opem,
Me miserum aspicite (et, si vitam puriter egi,
Eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi), 20
Ei mihi surrepens imos ut torpor in artus
Expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.
Non iam illud quaero, contra me ut diligat illa,
Aut, quod non potisest, esse pudica velit:
Ipse valere opto et taetrum hunc deponere morbum. 25
O di, reddite mi hoc pro pietate mea.

LXXVI.

IN SELF-GRATULATION.

If to remember deeds whilome well done be a pleasure
Meet for a man who deems all of his dealings be just,
Nor Holy Faith ever broke nor in whatever his compact
Sanction of Gods abused better to swindle mankind,
Much there remains for thee during length of living, Catullus, 5
Out of that Love ingrate further to solace thy soul;
For whatever of good can mortal declare of another
Or can avail he do, such thou hast said and hast done;
While to a thankless mind entrusted all of them perisht.
Why, then, crucify self now with a furthering pain? 10
Why not steady thy thoughts and draw thee back from such purpose,
Ceasing wretched to be maugre the will of the Gods?
Difficult 'tis indeed long Love to depose of a sudden,
Difficult 'tis, yet do e'en as thou deem to be best.
This be thy safe-guard sole; this conquest needs to be conquered; 15
This thou must do, thus act, whether thou cannot or can.
If an ye have (O Gods! ) aught ruth, or if you for any
Bring at the moment of death latest assistance to man,
Look upon me (poor me! ) and, should I be cleanly of living,
Out of my life deign pluck this my so pestilent plague, 20
Which as a lethargy o'er mine inmost vitals a-creeping,
Hath from my bosom expelled all of what joyance it joyed,
Now will I crave no more she love me e'en as I love her,
Nor (impossible chance! ) ever she prove herself chaste:
Would I were only healed and shed this fulsome disorder. 25
Oh Gods, grant me this boon unto my piety due!

If to recall good deeds erewhiles performed be pleasure to a man, when he
knows himself to be of probity, nor has violated sacred faith, nor has
abused the holy assent of the gods in any pact, to work ill to men; great
store of joys awaits thee during thy length of years, O Catullus, sprung
from this ingrate love of thine. For whatever of benefit men can say or can
do for anyone, such have been thy sayings and thy doings, and all thy
confidences have been squandered on an ingrate mind. Wherefore now dost
torture thyself further? Why not make firm thy heart and withdraw thyself
from that [wretchedness], and cease to be unhappy despite the gods' will?
'Tis difficult quickly to depose a love of long growth; 'tis difficult, yet
it behoves thee to do this. This is thine only salvation, this is thy great
victory; this thou must do, whether it be possible or impossible. O gods,
if 'tis in you to have mercy, or if ever ye held forth help to men in
death's very extremity, look ye on pitiful me, and if I have acted my life
with purity, snatch hence from me this canker and pest, which as a lethargy
creeping through my veins and vitals, has cast out every gladness from my
breast. Now I no longer pray that she may love me in return, or (what is
not possible) that she should become chaste: I wish but for health and to
cast aside this shameful complaint. O ye gods, vouchsafe me this in return
for my probity.

LXXXVIII.

Quid facit is, Gelli, qui cum matre atque sorore
Prurit et abiectis pervigilat tunicis?
Quid facit is, patruom qui non sinit esse maritum?
Ecqui scis quantum suscipiat sceleris?
Suscipit, o Gelli, quantum non ultima Tethys 5
Nec genitor lympharum abluit Oceanus:
Nam nihil est quicquam sceleris, quo prodeat ultra,
Non si demisso se ipse voret capite.

LXXXVIII.

TO GELLIUS.

What may he (Gellius! ) do that ever for mother and sister
Itches and wakes thro' the nights, working wi' tunic bedoffed?
What may he do who nills his uncle ever be husband?
Wottest thou how much he ventures of sacrilege-sin?
Ventures he (O Gellius! ) what ne'er can ultimate Tethys 5
Wash from his soul, nor yet Ocean, watery sire.
For that of sin there's naught wherewith this sin can exceed he
---- his head on himself.

What does he, Gellius, who with mother and sister itches and keeps vigils
with tunics cast aside? What does he, who suffers not his uncle to be a
husband? Dost thou know the weight of crime he takes upon himself? He
takes, O Gellius, such store as not furthest Tethys nor Oceanus, progenitor
of waters, can cleanse: for there is nothing of any crime which can go
further, not though with lowered head he swallow himself.

LXXXVIIII.

Gellius est tenuis: quid ni? cui tam bona mater
Tamque valens vivat tamque venusta soror
Tamque bonus patruos tamque omnia plena puellis
Cognatis, quare is desinat esse macer?
Qui ut nihil attingit, nisi quod fas tangere non est, 5
Quantumvis quare sit macer invenies.

LXXXVIIII.

ON GELLIUS.

Gellius is lean: Why not? For him so easy a mother
Lives, and a sister so boon, bonny and buxom to boot,
Uncle so kindly good and all things full of his lady-
Cousins, how can he cease leanest of lankies to be?
Albeit, touch he naught save that whose touch is a scandal, 5
Soon shall thou find wherefor he be as lean as thou like.

Gellius is meagre: why not? He who lives with so good a mother, so healthy
and so beauteous a sister, and who has such a good uncle, and a world-*full
of girl cousins, wherefore should he leave off being lean? Though he touch
naught save what is banned, thou canst find ample reason wherefore he may
stay lean.

LXXXX.

Nascatur magus ex Gelli matrisque nefando
Coniugio et discat Persicum aruspicium:
Nam magus ex matre et gnato gignatur oportet,
Si verast Persarum inpia relligio,
Navos ut accepto veneretur carmine divos 5
Omentum in flamma pingue liquefaciens.

LXXXX.

ON GELLIUS.

Born be a Magus, got by Gellius out of his mother
(Marriage nefand! ) who shall Persian augury learn.
Needs it a Magus begot of son upon mother who bare him,
If that impious faith, Persian religion be fact,
So may their issue adore busy gods with recognised verses 5
Melting in altar-flame fatness contained by the caul.

Let there be born a Magian from the infamous conjoining of Gellius and his
mother, and he shall learn the Persian aruspicy. For a Magian from a mother
and son must needs be begotten, if there be truth in Persia's vile creed
that one may worship with acceptable hymn the assiduous gods, whilst the
caul's fat in the sacred flame is melting.

LXXXXI.

Non ideo, Gelli, sperabam te mihi fidum
In misero hoc nostro, hoc perdito amore fore,
Quod te cognossem bene constantemve putarem
Aut posse a turpi mentem inhibere probro,
Sed neque quod matrem nec germanam esse videbam 5
Hanc tibi, cuius me magnus edebat amor.
Et quamvis tecum multo coniungerer usu,
Non satis id causae credideram esse tibi.
Tu satis id duxti: tantum tibi gaudium in omni
Culpast, in quacumque est aliquid sceleris. 10

LXXXXI.

TO GELLIUS.

Not for due cause I hoped to find thee (Gellius! ) faithful
In this saddest our love, love that is lost and forlore,
Or fro' my wotting thee well or ever believing thee constant,
Or that thy mind could reject villany ever so vile,
But that because was she to thyself nor mother nor sister, 5
This same damsel whose Love me in its greatness devoured.
Yet though I had been joined wi' thee by amplest of usance,
Still could I never believe this was sufficient of cause.
Thou diddest deem it suffice: so great is thy pleasure in every
Crime wherein may be found somewhat enormous of guilt. 10

Not for other reason, Gellius, did I hope for thy faith to me in this our
unhappy, this our desperate love (because I knew thee well nor thought thee
constant or able to restrain thy mind from shameless act), but that I saw
this girl was neither thy mother nor thy sister, for whom my ardent love
ate me. And although I have had many mutual dealings with thee, I did not
credit this case to be enough cause for thee. Thou didst find it enough: so
great is thy joy in every kind of guilt in which is something infamous.

LXXXXII.

Lesbia mi dicit semper male nec tacet umquam
De me: Lesbia me dispeream nisi amat.
Quo signo? quia sunt + totidem mea: deprecor illam
Absidue, verum dispeream nisi amo.

LXXXXII.

ON LESBIA.

Lesbia naggeth at me evermore and ne'er is she silent
Touching myself: May I die but that by Lesbia I'm loved.
What be the proof? I rail and retort like her and revile her
Carefully, yet may I die but that I love her with love.

Lesbia forever speaks ill of me nor is ever silent anent me: may I perish
if Lesbia do not love me! By what sign? because I am just the same: I
malign her without cease, yet may I die if I do not love her in sober
truth.

LXXXXIII.

Nil nimium studeo Caesar tibi belle placere,
Nec scire utrum sis albus an ater homo.

LXXXXIII.

ON JULIUS CAESAR.

Study I not o'ermuch to please thee (Caesar! ) and court thee,
Nor do I care e'en to know an thou be white or be black.

I am not over anxious, Caesar, to please thee greatly, nor to know whether
thou art white or black man.

LXXXXIIII.

Mentula moechatur. moechatur mentula: certe.
Hoc est, quod dicunt, ipsa olera olla legit.

LXXXXIIII.

AGAINST MENTULA (MAMURRA).

Mentula wooeth much: much wooeth he, be assured.
That is, e'en as they say, the Pot gathers leeks for the pot.

Mentula whores. By the mentule he is be-whored: certes. This is as though
they say the oil pot itself gathers the olives.

LXXXXV.

Zmyrna mei Cinnae nonam post denique messem
Quam coeptast nonamque edita post hiemem,
Milia cum interea quingenta Hortensius uno
* * * *
Zmyrna cavas Satrachi penitus mittetur ad undas, 5
Zmyrnam cana diu saecula pervoluent.
At Volusi annales Paduam morientur ad ipsam
Et laxas scombris saepe dabunt tunicas.
Parva mei mihi sint cordi monumenta _sodalis_,
At populus tumido gaudeat Antimacho. 10

LXXXXV.

ON THE "ZMYRNA" OF THE POET CINNA.

"Zmyrna" begun erstwhile nine harvests past by my Cinna
Publisht appears when now nine of his winters be gone;
Thousands fifty of lines meanwhile Hortensius in single
* * * *
"Zmyrna" shall travel afar as the hollow breakers of Satrax, 5
"Zmyrna" by ages grey lastingly shall be perused.
But upon Padus' brink shall die Volusius his annals
And to the mackerel oft loose-fitting jacket afford.
Dear to my heart are aye the lightest works of my comrade,
Leave I the mob to enjoy tumidest Antimachus. 10

My Cinna's "Zmyrna" at length, after nine harvests from its inception, is
published when nine winters have gone by, whilst in the meantime Hortensius
thousands upon thousands in one * * * * "Zmyrna" shall wander abroad e'en
to the curving surf of Satrachus, hoary ages shall turn the leaves of
"Zmyrna" in distant days. But Volusius' Annals shall perish at Padua
itself, and shall often furnish loose wrappings for mackerel. The short
writings of my comrade are gladsome to my heart; let the populace rejoice
in bombastic Antimachus.

LXXXXVI.

Si quicquam mutis gratum acceptumve sepulcris
Accidere a nostro, Calve, dolore potest,
Quo desiderio veteres renovamus amores
Atque olim missas flemus amicitias,
Certe non tanto mors inmatura dolorist 5
Quintiliae, quantum gaudet amore tuo.

LXXXXVI.

TO CALVUS ANENT DEAD QUINTILIA.

If to the dumb deaf tomb can aught or grateful or pleasing
(Calvus! ) ever accrue rising from out of our dule,
Wherewith yearning desire renews our loves in the bygone,
And for long friendships lost many a tear must be shed;
Certes, never so much for doom of premature death-day 5
Must thy Quintilia mourn as she is joyed by thy love.

If aught grateful or acceptable can penetrate the silent graves from our
dolour, Calvus, when with sweet regret we renew old loves and beweep the
lost friendships of yore, of a surety not so much doth Quintilia mourn her
untimely death as she doth rejoice o'er thy constant love.

LXXXXVII.

Non (ita me di ament) quicquam referre putavi,
Vtrumne os an culum olfacerem Aemilio.
Nilo mundius hoc, niloque immundior ille,
Verum etiam culus mundior et melior:
Nam sine dentibus est: dentes os sesquipedales, 5
Gingivas vero ploxeni habet veteris,
Praeterea rictum qualem diffissus in aestu
Meientis mulae cunnus habere solet.
Hic futuit multas et se facit esse venustum,
Et non pistrino traditur atque asino? 10
Quem siqua attingit, non illam posse putemus
Aegroti culum lingere carnificis?

LXXXXVII.

ON AEMILIUS THE FOUL.

Never (so love me the Gods! ) deemed I 'twas preference matter
Or AEmilius' mouth choose I to smell or his ----
Nothing is this more clean, uncleaner nothing that other,
Yet I ajudge ---- cleaner and nicer to be;
For while this one lacks teeth, that one has cubit-long tushes, 5
Set in their battered gums favouring a muddy old box,
Not to say aught of gape like wide-cleft gap of a she-mule
Whenas in summer-heat wont peradventure to stale.
Yet has he many a motte and holds himself to be handsome--
Why wi' the baker's ass is he not bound to the mill? 10
Him if a damsel kiss we fain must think she be ready
With her fair lips ----

Nay (may the Gods thus love me) have I thought there to be aught of choice
whether I might smell thy mouth or thy buttocks, O Aemilius. Nothing could
the one be cleaner, nothing the other more filthy; nay in truth thy
backside is the cleaner and better,--for it is toothless. Thy mouth hath
teeth full half a yard in length, gums of a verity like to an old
waggon-box, behind which its gape is such as hath the vulva of a she-mule
cleft apart by the summer's heat, always a-staling. This object swives
girls enow, and fancies himself a handsome fellow, and is not condemned to
the mill as an ass? Whatso girl would touch thee, we think her capable of
licking the breech of a leprous hangman.

LXXXXVIII.

In te, si in quemquam, dici pote, putide Victi,
Id quod verbosis dicitur et fatuis.
Ista cum lingua, si usus veniat tibi, possis
Culos et crepidas lingere carpatinas.
Si nos omnino vis omnes perdere, Victi, 5
Hiscas: omnino quod cupis efficies.

LXXXXVIII.

TO VICTIUS THE STINKARD.

Rightly of thee may be said, an of any, (thou stinkingest Victius! )
Whatso wont we to say touching the praters and prigs.
Thou wi' that tongue o' thine own, if granted occasion availest
Brogues of the cowherds to kiss, also their ----
Wouldst thou undo us all with a thorough undoing (O Victius! ) 5
Open thy gape:--thereby all shall be wholly undone.

To thee, if to anyone, may I say, foul-mouthed Victius, that which is said
to wind bags and fatuities. For with that tongue, if need arrive, thou
couldst lick clodhoppers' shoes, clogs, and buttocks. If thou wishest to
destroy us all entirely, Victius, thou need'st but gape: thou wilt
accomplish what thou wishest entirely.

LXXXXVIIII.

Surripui tibi, dum ludis, mellite Iuventi,
Suaviolum dulci dulcius ambrosia.
Verum id non inpune tuli: namque amplius horam
Suffixum in summa me memini esse cruce,
Dum tibi me purgo nec possum fletibus ullis 5
Tantillum vostrae demere saevitiae.
Nam simul id factumst, multis diluta labella
Abstersti guttis omnibus articulis,
Ne quicquam nostro contractum ex ore maneret,
Tamquam conmictae spurca saliva lupae. 10
Praeterea infesto miserum me tradere Amori
Non cessasti omnique excruciare modo,
Vt mi ex ambrosia mutatum iam foret illud
Suaviolum tristi tristius helleboro.
Quam quoniam poenam misero proponis amori, 15
Numquam iam posthac basia surripiam.

LXXXXVIIII.

TO JUVENTIUS.

E'en as thou played'st, from thee snatched I (O honied Juventius! )
Kisslet of savour so sweet sweetest Ambrosia unknows.
Yet was the theft nowise scot-free, for more than an hour I
Clearly remember me fixt hanging from crest of the Cross,
Whatwhile I purged my sin unto thee nor with any weeping 5
Tittle of cruel despite such as be thine could I 'bate.
For that no sooner done thou washed thy liplets with many
Drops which thy fingers did wipe, using their every joint,
Lest of our mouths conjoined remain there aught by the contact
Like unto slaver foul shed by the buttered bun. 10
Further, wretchedmost me betrayed to unfriendliest Love-god
Never thou ceased'st to pain hurting with every harm,
So that my taste be turned and kisses ambrosial erstwhile
Even than hellebore-juice bitterest bitterer grow.
Seeing such pangs as these prepared for unfortunate lover, 15
After this never again kiss will I venture to snatch.

I snatched from thee, whilst thou wast sporting, O honied Juventius, a kiss
sweeter than sweet ambrosia. But I bore it off not unpunished; for more
than an hour do I remember myself hung on the summit of the cross, whilst I
purged myself [for my crime] to thee, nor could any tears in the least
remove your anger. For instantly it was done, thou didst bathe thy lips
with many drops, and didst cleanse them with every finger-joint, lest
anything remained from the conjoining of our mouths, as though it were the
obscene slaver of a fetid fricatrice. Nay, more, thou hast handed wretched
me over to despiteful Love, nor hast thou ceased to agonize me in every
way, so that for me that kiss is now changed from ambrosia to be harsher
than harsh hellebore. Since thou dost award such punishment to wretched
amourist, never more after this will I steal kisses.

C.

Caelius Aufilenum et Quintius Aufilenam
Flos Veronensum depereunt iuvenum,
Hic fratrem, ille sororem. hoc est, quod dicitur, illud
Fraternum vere dulce sodalitium.
Cui faveam potius? Caeli, tibi: nam tua nobis 5
Per facta exhibitast unica amicitia,
Cum vesana meas torreret flamma medullas.
Sis felix, Caeli, sis in amore potens.

C.

ON CAELIUS AND QUINTIUS.

Caelius Aufilenus and Quintius Aufilena,
Love to the death, both swains bloom of the youth Veronese,
This woo'd brother and that sue'd sister: so might the matter
Claim to be titled wi' sooth fairest fraternalest tie.
Whom shall I favour the first? Thee (Caelius! ) for thou hast proved 5
Singular friendship to us shown by the deeds it has done,
Whenas the flames insane had madded me, firing my marrow:
Caelius! happy be thou; ever be lusty in love.

Caelius, Aufilenus; and Quintius, Aufilena;--flower of the Veronese
youth,--love desperately: this, the brother; that, the sister. This is, as
one would say, true brotherhood and sweet friendship. To whom shall I
incline the more? Caelius, to thee; for thy single devotion to us was shewn
by its deeds, when the raging flame scorched my marrow. Be happy, O
Caelius, be potent in love.

CI.

Multas per gentes et multa per aequora vectus
Advenio has miseras, frater, ad inferias,
Vt te postremo donarem munere mortis
Et mutam nequiquam adloquerer cinerem,
Quandoquidem fortuna mihi tete abstulit ipsum, 5
Heu miser indigne frater adempte mihi.
* * * *
Nunc tamen interea haec prisco quae more parentum
Tradita sunt tristes munera ad inferias,
Accipe fraterno multum manantia fletu,
Atque in perpetuom, frater, ave atque vale. 10

CI.

ON THE BURIAL OF HIS BROTHER.

Faring thro' many a folk and plowing many a sea-plain
These sad funeral-rites (Brother! ) to deal thee I come,
So wi' the latest boons to the dead bestowed I may gift thee,
And I may vainly address ashes that answer have none,
Sithence of thee, very thee, to deprive me Fortune behested, 5
Woe for thee, Brother forlore! Cruelly severed fro' me.
* * * *
Yet in the meanwhile now what olden usage of forbears
Brings as the boons that befit mournfullest funeral rites,
Thine be these gifts which flow with tear-flood shed by thy brother,
And, for ever and aye (Brother! ) all hail and farewell. 10

Through many a folk and through many waters borne, I am come, brother, to
thy sad grave, that I may give the last gifts to the dead, and may vainly
speak to thy mute ashes, since fortune hath borne from me thyself. Ah,
hapless brother, heavily snatched from me. * * * But now these gifts, which
of yore, in manner ancestral handed down, are the sad gifts to the grave,
accept thou, drenched with a brother's tears, and for ever, brother, hail!
for ever, adieu!

CII.

Si quicquam tacito conmissumst fido ab amico,
Cuius sit penitus nota fides animi,
Meque esse invenies illorum iure sacratum,
Corneli, et factum me esse puta Harpocratem.

CII.

TO CORNELIUS.

If by confiding friend aught e'er be trusted in silence,
Unto a man whose mind known is for worthiest trust,
Me shalt thou find no less than such to secrecy oathbound,
(Cornelius! ) and now hold me an Harpocrates.

If aught be committed to secret faith from a friend to one whose inner
faith of soul is known, thou wilt find me to be of that sacred faith, O
Cornelius, and may'st deem me become an Harpocrates.

CIII.

Aut, sodes, mihi redde decem sestertia, Silo,
Deinde esto quamvis saevus et indomitus:
Aut, si te nummi delectant, desine quaeso
Leno esse atque idem saevus et indomitus.

CIII.

TO SILO.

Or, d'ye hear, refund those ten sestertia (Silo! )
Then be thou e'en at thy will surly and savage o' mood:
Or, an thou love o'er-well those moneys, prithee no longer
Prove thee a pimp and withal surly and savage o' mood.

Prithee, either return me my ten thousand sesterces, Silo; then be to thy
content surly and boorish: or, if the money allure thee, desist I pray thee
from being a pander and likewise surly and boorish.

CIIII.

Credis me potuisse meae maledicere vitae,
Ambobus mihi quae carior est oculis?
Non potui, nec si possem tam perdite amarem:
Sed tu cum Tappone omnia monstra facis.

CIIII.

CONCERNING LESBIA.

Canst thou credit that I could avail to revile my life-love,
She who be dearer to me even than either my eyes?
Ne'er could I, nor an I could, should I so losingly love her:
But with Tappo thou dost design every monstrous deed.

Dost deem me capable of speaking ill of my life, she who is dearer to me
than are both mine eyes? I could not, nor if I could, would my love be so
desperate: but thou with Tappo dost frame everything heinous.

CV.

Mentula conatur Pipleum scandere montem:
Musae furcillis praecipitem eiciunt.

CV.

ON MAMURRA.

Mentula fain would ascend Piplean mountain up-mounting:
Pitch him the Muses down headlong wi' forklets a-hurled.

Mentula presumes the Pimplean mount to scale: the Muses with their
pitchforks chuck him headlong down.

CVI.

Cum puero bello praeconem qui videt esse,
Quid credat, nisi se vendere discupere?

CVI.

THE AUCTIONEER AND THE FAIR BOY.

When with a pretty-faced boy we see one playing the Crier,
What can we wot except longs he for selling the same?

When with a comely lad a crier is seen to be, what may be thought save that
he longs to sell himself.

CVII.

Siquoi quid cupido optantique obtigit umquam
Insperanti, hoc est gratum animo proprie.
Quare hoc est gratum nobisque est carius auro,
Quod te restituis, Lesbia, mi cupido,
Restituis cupido atque insperanti ipsa refers te. 5
Nobis o lucem candidiore nota!
Quis me uno vivit felicior, aut magis hac res
Optandas vita dicere quis poterit?

CVII.

TO LESBIA RECONCILED.

An to one ever accrue any boon he lusted and longed for
Any time after despair, grateful it comes to his soul.
Thus 'tis grateful to us nor gold was ever so goodly,
When thou restorest thyself (Lesbia! ) to lovingmost me,
Self thou restorest unhoped, and after despair thou returnest. 5
Oh the fair light of a Day noted with notabler white!
Where lives a happier man than myself or--this being won me--
Who shall e'er boast that his life brought him more coveted lot?