No More Learning

? The Project Gutenberg EBook of Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

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Title: Alice in Wonderland

Author: Lewis Carroll

Illustrator: Gordon Robinson

Release Date: August 12, 2006 [EBook #19033]

Language: English


*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE IN WONDERLAND ***




Produced by Jason Isbell, Irma Spehar, and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www. pgdp. net









[Illustration: Alice in the Room of the Duchess. ]


_THE "STORYLAND" SERIES_



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND







SAM'L GABRIEL SONS & COMPANY

NEW YORK



Copyright, 1916,

by SAM'L GABRIEL SONS & COMPANY

NEW YORK




ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

[Illustration]




I--DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE


Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the
bank, and of having nothing to do. Once or twice she had peeped into the
book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in
it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or
conversations? "

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
close by her.

There was nothing so very remarkable in that, nor did Alice think it so
very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh
dear! I shall be too late! " But when the Rabbit actually took a watch
out of its waistcoat-pocket and looked at it and then hurried on, Alice
started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take
out of it, and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after
it and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole, under
the hedge. In another moment, down went Alice after it!

[Illustration]

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way and then
dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed
to be a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
plenty of time, as she went down, to look about her. First, she tried to
make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything;
then she looked at the sides of the well and noticed that they were
filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and
pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as
she passed. It was labeled "ORANGE MARMALADE," but, to her great
disappointment, it was empty; she did not like to drop the jar, so
managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

Down, down, down! Would the fall never come to an end? There was nothing
else to do, so Alice soon began talking to herself. "Dinah'll miss me
very much to-night, I should think! " (Dinah was the cat. ) "I hope
they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear, I wish
you were down here with me! " Alice felt that she was dozing off, when
suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry
leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up in a moment. She looked up,
but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage and
the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a
moment to be lost. Away went Alice like the wind and was just in time to
hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late
it's getting! " She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
the Rabbit was no longer to be seen.

She found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of
lamps hanging from the roof. There were doors all 'round the hall, but
they were all locked; and when Alice had been all the way down one side
and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little table, all made of solid glass. There
was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that
this might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the
locks were too large, or the key was too small, but, at any rate, it
would not open any of them. However, on the second time 'round, she came
upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a
little door about fifteen inches high. She tried the little golden key
in the lock, and to her great delight, it fitted!

[Illustration]

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole; she knelt down and looked along the passage
into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of
that dark hall and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and
those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the
doorway. "Oh," said Alice, "how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!
I think I could, if I only knew how to begin. "

Alice went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
it, or at any rate, a book of rules for shutting people up like
telescopes. This time she found a little bottle on it ("which certainly
was not here before," said Alice), and tied 'round the neck of the
bottle was a paper label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed
on it in large letters.

"No, I'll look first," she said, "and see whether it's marked '_poison_'
or not," for she had never forgotten that, if you drink from a bottle
marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
later. However, this bottle was _not_ marked "poison," so Alice ventured
to taste it, and, finding it very nice (it had a sort of mixed flavor of
cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy and hot buttered
toast), she very soon finished it off.

* * * * *

"What a curious feeling! " said Alice. "I must be shutting up like a
telescope! "

And so it was indeed! She was now only ten inches high, and her face
brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
through the little door into that lovely garden.

After awhile, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going
into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! When she got to the
door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she
went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach
it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery,
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing
sat down and cried.

"Come, there's no use in crying like that! " said Alice to herself rather
sharply. "I advise you to leave off this minute! " She generally gave
herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it), and
sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her
eyes.

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table:
she opened it and found in it a very small cake, on which the words "EAT
ME" were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said
Alice, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it
makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door: so either way I'll
get into the garden, and I don't care which happens! "

She ate a little bit and said anxiously to herself, "Which way? Which
way? " holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way she was
growing; and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same
size. So she set to work and very soon finished off the cake.

[Illustration]




II--THE POOL OF TEARS


"Curiouser and curiouser! " cried Alice (she was so much surprised that
for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). "Now I'm
opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-by, feet! Oh,
my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings
for you now, dears? I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble
myself about you. "

Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall; in
fact, she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once took
up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to
look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
hopeless than ever. She sat down and began to cry again.

She went on shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all
'round her and reaching half down the hall.

After a time, she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance and
she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid-gloves in
one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trotting along in a
great hurry, muttering to himself, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh!
_won't_ she be savage if I've kept her waiting! "

When the Rabbit came near her, Alice began, in a low, timid voice, "If
you please, sir--" The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white
kid-gloves and the fan and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he
could go.

[Illustration]

Alice took up the fan and gloves and she kept fanning herself all the
time she went on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day!
And yesterday things went on just as usual. _Was_ I the same when I got
up this morning? But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who in
the world am I? ' Ah, _that's_ the great puzzle! "

As she said this, she looked down at her hands and was surprised to see
that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid-gloves while
she was talking. "How _can_ I have done that? " she thought. "I must be
growing small again. " She got up and went to the table to measure
herself by it and found that she was now about two feet high and was
going on shrinking rapidly. She soon found out that the cause of this
was the fan she was holding and she dropped it hastily, just in time to
save herself from shrinking away altogether.

"That _was_ a narrow escape! " said Alice, a good deal frightened at the
sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence. "And
now for the garden! " And she ran with all speed back to the little door;
but, alas! the little door was shut again and the little golden key was
lying on the glass table as before. "Things are worse than ever,"
thought the poor child, "for I never was so small as this before,
never! "

As she said these words, her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt-water. Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea. However, she soon made out that she
was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.

[Illustration]

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way
off, and she swam nearer to see what it was: she soon made out that it
was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

"Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, "to speak to this mouse?
Everything is so out-of-the-way down here that I should think very
likely it can talk; at any rate, there's no harm in trying. " So she
began, "O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired
of swimming about here, O Mouse! " The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but
it said nothing.

"Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice. "I dare say it's
a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror. " So she began
again: "Ou est ma chatte? " which was the first sentence in her French
lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water and seemed to
quiver all over with fright. "Oh, I beg your pardon! " cried Alice
hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. "I quite
forgot you didn't like cats. "

"Not like cats! " cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice. "Would
_you_ like cats, if you were me? "

"Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothing tone; "don't be angry
about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah. I think you'd
take a fancy to cats, if you could only see her. She is such a dear,
quiet thing. " The Mouse was bristling all over and she felt certain it
must be really offended. "We won't talk about her any more, if you'd
rather not. "

"We, indeed! " cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of its
tail. "As if _I_ would talk on such a subject! Our family always _hated_
cats--nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again! "

[Illustration: Alice at the Mad Tea Party. ]

"I won't indeed! " said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation. "Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs? There is such a nice
little dog near our house, I should like to show you! It kills all the
rats and--oh, dear! " cried Alice in a sorrowful tone. "I'm afraid I've
offended it again! " For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as
it could go, and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we
won't talk about cats, or dogs either, if you don't like them! " When the
Mouse heard this, it turned 'round and swam slowly back to her; its face
was quite pale, and it said, in a low, trembling voice, "Let us get to
the shore and then I'll tell you my history and you'll understand why it
is I hate cats and dogs. "

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the
birds and animals that had fallen into it; there were a Duck and a Dodo,
a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the
way and the whole party swam to the shore.

[Illustration]




III--A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE


They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the
birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close
to them, and all dripping wet, cross and uncomfortable.

[Illustration]

The first question, of course, was how to get dry again. They had a
consultation about this and after a few minutes, it seemed quite natural
to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had
known them all her life.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority among
them, called out, "Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! _I'll_ soon
make you dry enough! " They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with
the Mouse in the middle.

"Ahem! " said the Mouse with an important air. "Are you all ready? This
is the driest thing I know. Silence all 'round, if you please! 'William
the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was soon submitted
to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of
Mercia and Northumbria'--"

"Ugh! " said the Lory, with a shiver.

"--'And even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it
advisable'--"

"Found _what_? " said the Duck.

"Found _it_," the Mouse replied rather crossly; "of course, you know
what 'it' means. "

"I know what 'it' means well enough, when _I_ find a thing," said the
Duck; "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
archbishop find? "

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, "'--found
it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the
crown. '--How are you getting on now, my dear? " it continued, turning to
Alice as it spoke.

"As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone; "it doesn't seem to
dry me at all. "

"In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, "I move that
the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic
remedies--"

"Speak English! " said the Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half
those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either! "

"What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an offended tone, "is that
the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race. "

"What _is_ a Caucus-race? " said Alice.

[Illustration]

"Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is to do it. " First it
marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, and then all the party
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no "One, two,
three and away! " but they began running when they liked and left off
when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so and were quite
dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over! " and they
all crowded 'round it, panting and asking, "But who has won? "

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought.
At last it said, "_Everybody_ has won, and _all_ must have prizes. "

"But who is to give the prizes? " quite a chorus of voices asked.

"Why, _she_, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded 'round her, calling out, in
a confused way, "Prizes! Prizes! "

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand into her
pocket and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt-water had not
got into it) and handed them 'round as prizes. There was exactly one
a-piece, all 'round.

The next thing was to eat the comfits; this caused some noise and
confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste
theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back.
However, it was over at last and they sat down again in a ring and
begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

"You promised to tell me your history, you know," said Alice, "and why
it is you hate--C and D," she added in a whisper, half afraid that it
would be offended again.

"Mine is a long and a sad tale! " said the Mouse, turning to Alice and
sighing.

"It _is_ a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder
at the Mouse's tail, "but why do you call it sad? " And she kept on
puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the
tale was something like this:--

"Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met in the
house, 'Let
us both go
to law: _I_
will prosecute
_you_.
" But when the Rabbit actually took a watch
out of its waistcoat-pocket and looked at it and then hurried on, Alice
started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take
out of it, and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after
it and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole, under
the hedge. In another moment, down went Alice after it!

[Illustration]

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way and then
dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed
to be a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
plenty of time, as she went down, to look about her. First, she tried to
make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything;
then she looked at the sides of the well and noticed that they were
filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and
pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as
she passed. It was labeled "ORANGE MARMALADE," but, to her great
disappointment, it was empty; she did not like to drop the jar, so
managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

Down, down, down! Would the fall never come to an end? There was nothing
else to do, so Alice soon began talking to herself. "Dinah'll miss me
very much to-night, I should think! " (Dinah was the cat. ) "I hope
they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear, I wish
you were down here with me! " Alice felt that she was dozing off, when
suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry
leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up in a moment. She looked up,
but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage and
the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a
moment to be lost. Away went Alice like the wind and was just in time to
hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late
it's getting! " She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
the Rabbit was no longer to be seen.

She found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of
lamps hanging from the roof. There were doors all 'round the hall, but
they were all locked; and when Alice had been all the way down one side
and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little table, all made of solid glass. There
was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that
this might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the
locks were too large, or the key was too small, but, at any rate, it
would not open any of them. However, on the second time 'round, she came
upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a
little door about fifteen inches high. She tried the little golden key
in the lock, and to her great delight, it fitted!

[Illustration]

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole; she knelt down and looked along the passage
into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of
that dark hall and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and
those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the
doorway. "Oh," said Alice, "how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!
I think I could, if I only knew how to begin. "

Alice went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
it, or at any rate, a book of rules for shutting people up like
telescopes. This time she found a little bottle on it ("which certainly
was not here before," said Alice), and tied 'round the neck of the
bottle was a paper label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed
on it in large letters.

"No, I'll look first," she said, "and see whether it's marked '_poison_'
or not," for she had never forgotten that, if you drink from a bottle
marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
later. However, this bottle was _not_ marked "poison," so Alice ventured
to taste it, and, finding it very nice (it had a sort of mixed flavor of
cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy and hot buttered
toast), she very soon finished it off.

* * * * *

"What a curious feeling! " said Alice. "I must be shutting up like a
telescope! "

And so it was indeed! She was now only ten inches high, and her face
brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
through the little door into that lovely garden.

After awhile, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going
into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! When she got to the
door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she
went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach
it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery,
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing
sat down and cried.

"Come, there's no use in crying like that! " said Alice to herself rather
sharply. "I advise you to leave off this minute! " She generally gave
herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it), and
sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her
eyes.

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table:
she opened it and found in it a very small cake, on which the words "EAT
ME" were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said
Alice, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it
makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door: so either way I'll
get into the garden, and I don't care which happens! "

She ate a little bit and said anxiously to herself, "Which way? Which
way? " holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way she was
growing; and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same
size. So she set to work and very soon finished off the cake.

[Illustration]




II--THE POOL OF TEARS


"Curiouser and curiouser! " cried Alice (she was so much surprised that
for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). "Now I'm
opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-by, feet! Oh,
my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings
for you now, dears? I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble
myself about you. "

Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall; in
fact, she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once took
up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to
look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
hopeless than ever. She sat down and began to cry again.

She went on shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all
'round her and reaching half down the hall.

After a time, she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance and
she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid-gloves in
one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trotting along in a
great hurry, muttering to himself, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh!
_won't_ she be savage if I've kept her waiting! "

When the Rabbit came near her, Alice began, in a low, timid voice, "If
you please, sir--" The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white
kid-gloves and the fan and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he
could go.

[Illustration]

Alice took up the fan and gloves and she kept fanning herself all the
time she went on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day!
And yesterday things went on just as usual. _Was_ I the same when I got
up this morning? But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who in
the world am I? ' Ah, _that's_ the great puzzle! "

As she said this, she looked down at her hands and was surprised to see
that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid-gloves while
she was talking. "How _can_ I have done that? " she thought. "I must be
growing small again. " She got up and went to the table to measure
herself by it and found that she was now about two feet high and was
going on shrinking rapidly. She soon found out that the cause of this
was the fan she was holding and she dropped it hastily, just in time to
save herself from shrinking away altogether.

"That _was_ a narrow escape! " said Alice, a good deal frightened at the
sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence. "And
now for the garden! " And she ran with all speed back to the little door;
but, alas! the little door was shut again and the little golden key was
lying on the glass table as before. "Things are worse than ever,"
thought the poor child, "for I never was so small as this before,
never! "

As she said these words, her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt-water. Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea. However, she soon made out that she
was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.

[Illustration]

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way
off, and she swam nearer to see what it was: she soon made out that it
was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

"Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, "to speak to this mouse?
Everything is so out-of-the-way down here that I should think very
likely it can talk; at any rate, there's no harm in trying. " So she
began, "O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired
of swimming about here, O Mouse! " The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but
it said nothing.

"Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice. "I dare say it's
a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror. " So she began
again: "Ou est ma chatte? " which was the first sentence in her French
lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water and seemed to
quiver all over with fright. "Oh, I beg your pardon! " cried Alice
hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. "I quite
forgot you didn't like cats. "

"Not like cats! " cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice. "Would
_you_ like cats, if you were me? "

"Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothing tone; "don't be angry
about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah. I think you'd
take a fancy to cats, if you could only see her. She is such a dear,
quiet thing. " The Mouse was bristling all over and she felt certain it
must be really offended. "We won't talk about her any more, if you'd
rather not. "

"We, indeed! " cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of its
tail. "As if _I_ would talk on such a subject! Our family always _hated_
cats--nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again! "

[Illustration: Alice at the Mad Tea Party. ]

"I won't indeed! " said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation. "Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs? There is such a nice
little dog near our house, I should like to show you! It kills all the
rats and--oh, dear! " cried Alice in a sorrowful tone. "I'm afraid I've
offended it again! " For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as
it could go, and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we
won't talk about cats, or dogs either, if you don't like them! " When the
Mouse heard this, it turned 'round and swam slowly back to her; its face
was quite pale, and it said, in a low, trembling voice, "Let us get to
the shore and then I'll tell you my history and you'll understand why it
is I hate cats and dogs. "

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the
birds and animals that had fallen into it; there were a Duck and a Dodo,
a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the
way and the whole party swam to the shore.

[Illustration]




III--A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE


They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the
birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close
to them, and all dripping wet, cross and uncomfortable.

[Illustration]

The first question, of course, was how to get dry again. They had a
consultation about this and after a few minutes, it seemed quite natural
to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had
known them all her life.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority among
them, called out, "Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! _I'll_ soon
make you dry enough! " They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with
the Mouse in the middle.

"Ahem! " said the Mouse with an important air. "Are you all ready? This
is the driest thing I know. Silence all 'round, if you please! 'William
the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was soon submitted
to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of
Mercia and Northumbria'--"

"Ugh! " said the Lory, with a shiver.

"--'And even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it
advisable'--"

"Found _what_? " said the Duck.

"Found _it_," the Mouse replied rather crossly; "of course, you know
what 'it' means. "

"I know what 'it' means well enough, when _I_ find a thing," said the
Duck; "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
archbishop find? "

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, "'--found
it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the
crown. '--How are you getting on now, my dear? " it continued, turning to
Alice as it spoke.

"As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone; "it doesn't seem to
dry me at all. "

"In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, "I move that
the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic
remedies--"

"Speak English! " said the Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half
those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either! "

"What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an offended tone, "is that
the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race. "

"What _is_ a Caucus-race? " said Alice.

[Illustration]

"Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is to do it. " First it
marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, and then all the party
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no "One, two,
three and away! " but they began running when they liked and left off
when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so and were quite
dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over! " and they
all crowded 'round it, panting and asking, "But who has won? "

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought.
At last it said, "_Everybody_ has won, and _all_ must have prizes. "

"But who is to give the prizes? " quite a chorus of voices asked.

"Why, _she_, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded 'round her, calling out, in
a confused way, "Prizes! Prizes! "

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand into her
pocket and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt-water had not
got into it) and handed them 'round as prizes. There was exactly one
a-piece, all 'round.

The next thing was to eat the comfits; this caused some noise and
confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste
theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back.
However, it was over at last and they sat down again in a ring and
begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

"You promised to tell me your history, you know," said Alice, "and why
it is you hate--C and D," she added in a whisper, half afraid that it
would be offended again.

"Mine is a long and a sad tale! " said the Mouse, turning to Alice and
sighing.

"It _is_ a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder
at the Mouse's tail, "but why do you call it sad? " And she kept on
puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the
tale was something like this:--

"Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met in the
house, 'Let
us both go
to law: _I_
will prosecute
_you_. --
Come, I'll
take no denial:
We
must have
the trial;
For really
this morning
I've
nothing
to do. '
Said the
mouse to
the cur,
'Such a
trial, dear
sir, With
no jury
or judge,
would
be wasting
our
breath. '
'I'll be
judge,
I'll be
jury,'
said
cunning
old
Fury;
'I'll
try
the
whole
cause,
and
condemn
you to
death. '"

"You are not attending! " said the Mouse to Alice, severely. "What are
you thinking of? "

"I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly, "you had got to the fifth
bend, I think? "

"You insult me by talking such nonsense! " said the Mouse, getting up and
walking away.

"Please come back and finish your story! " Alice called after it. And the
others all joined in chorus, "Yes, please do! " But the Mouse only shook
its head impatiently and walked a little quicker.

"I wish I had Dinah, our cat, here!