No More Learning

"You must manage the winds of undesirable action
using weights oflead,
inspire a favorable breeze by the power of your faith,
and fill the pontoons with the purity of your commitment.
"In an instant you will cross
on the waves of maturation and liberation,
and reach the island of the wish-fulfilling gem. There, all desires for enjoyment are satisfied.
There, all appearance is rich and precious.
There, no dirt, gravel, or decay will tarnish your joy. Now be happy, for endless bliss will come. "
. After this song, he asked mTsho-rgyal:
"Daughter, how many difficulties did you undergo? Was your journey pleasant? Were there obstacles? How long has it been since you arrived? "
Ye-shes mTsho-rgyal explained all the many difficulties she had en- countered on her journey, and how hard it had been to obtain gold in Nepal. She told how she had raised up a dead man and thus obtained the necessary thousand ounces of gold. . After she had clearly and ex-
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tensively described her experiences, the Guru said: "Very good! Such difficulties are really very good things; they purify immeasurable kar- mic obscurations. Although the cost was high, you have done well; you have accomplished a great deal. But reviving those who have been killed and other such practices are just ordinary powers. Do not harbor pride because of such things.
"Your commitment is not due to attachment and desire, nor is it just a woman's desire for a man; moreover, this boy is more noble than any husband you could ever find. Since he cost so much gold, let him be called 'Golden Light'. "
Padmasambhava gave Acarya Sa-le his blessing and opened the mandala of the lama for him. He set him on the course of maturation and gave him initiations similar to those mTsho-rgyal had received. Acarya Sa-le developed and became mature in his practice. Setting out on the path of liberation, he came to understand the Dharma both in its ordinary significance and in its ultimate sense. Thus he became liberated.
Padmasambhava designated him the trusted friend of mTsho-rgyal and told them both: "Now you must practice until you fully realize the secret teachings. " Then the Guru went off to lHo-brag.
So the lady who was Padmasambhava's consort and the boy who was his heart-son went together to an isolated meditation cave, later known as the Secret Cave of mTsho-rgyal. There, where none could find them, they practiced for seven months cultivating the FourJoys. mTsho-rgyal developed the ability to penetrate any kind of barrier; her body became immune to ordinary weakness, disease, old age, and the like. In short, she learned to control the five elements and bring them under her power. The Four Joys manifested in their complete- ness, and mTsho-rgyal obtained the Four Kayas. Padmasambhava re- turned at this time, and the three of them went to a great cave where they stayed while he turned the Wheel of the Dharma.
Now, Guru Rinpoche had previously given the Tibetan king, that great Dharma protector, a number of Mantrayana practices, including
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the mandalas of gShin-rje-E, rTa-mgrin dpa'-bo, of Yang-dag mar-me and Phrin-las phur-pa, bDud-rtsi thod and Ma-mo khram, and so on. The king did these practices in an appropriate manner and had certain significant experiences. He felt a profound faith arise in his heart, to- gether with an intense desire for more of the deep esoteric teachings. So he dispatched three o f his messengers, Shud-bu dPal-seng, rGya-tsha lHa-nang, and rMa Rin-chen, to invite Padmasambhava and his con- sort to visit him. Upon arrival at the meditation cave at Ti-sgro, the envoys presented Guru Rinpoche with gold and the message:
"Great Guru and Consort!
We who are skilled in fast-running
are the messengers of the King of Tibet.
The god-like ruler of Tibet, Khri-srong,
yearns for the more profound esoteric teachings of the supreme vehicle.
He invites you to visit him.
Please, Compassionate One, come quickly! "
So saying, they offered Padmasambhava their presents of gold, and he answered them:
"Attend! You three faithful Fast-runners!
You three worthy and fortunate sons, welcome! Though I, Padmasambhava, reside in this land of men, I am one with the Mind of all Buddhas;
Vajradhara is not different from me,
and my manifestations fill the world.
"I am glad that the great Dharma King has been successful in his practice;
I will now go with you
and give him the secret teachings. "
And so all six of them-the Guru, his consort and son, and the three royal messengers-set out for bSam-yas. When they reached gZho- grod, Padmasambhava suggested that the three lotsawas go on ahead to alert the king to prepare a welcome. The others would follow. So the three scholars hurried off to tell the king how they had seen
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Guru Rinpoche, and that he would soon be arriving. They suggested that a great reception be arranged.
When the Tibetan ministers heard this, they thought:
"It would seem this one called Lotus-born
is never-ending like the sky.
Like a river, sharp knives cannot harm him.
Like fire, his brilliance sets things aflame.
Like the wind, he cannot be held down.
Though he appears to be real, it is as if he were not. Whatever harm we attempt will do no good.
So we will go along with whatever the king says.
The Lady mTsho-rgyal, however, is another matter;
she is hopeless-she won't stay where she belongs.
She flaunts the king's laws and degrades the whole country. "
Guru Rinpoche understood their attitude and thought: "I must use the secret teachings, which are so-called because they include many methods and present no difficulties. It is better that the Lady mTsho- rgyal appear in another form; I will transform her into my three-sided staffas I travel in Tibet. "
The Dharma King's representatives, sTag-ra and Gung-btsan, along with one hundred other important ministers, went on horseback to meet Padmasambhava at gZho-mdar. Then they proceeded by stages to bSam-yas.
As they came to the gate of the Great Stiipa, they were welcomed by the king, his ministers, and retinue. The Dharma King greeted his teacher; he draped a white silk scarf of welcome over his arm, and offered it to his guru along with a gold vase filled with fresh rice wine.
Guru Rinpoche told him: "Right now, the esoteric doctrine is very fresh and has great power. But in the future, as it spreads, there will be many people practicing it who have not sufficiently matured. " As he spoke these words, he touched the vase to the top of his head.
The Tibetan people noticed that mTsho-rgyal was not present, and that Acarya Sa-le was Guru Rinpoche's sole attendant. The king also
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noticed this and thought: "I cannot ask for the esoteric teachings without mTsho-rgyal; the way is barred if she is not here. I must inquire of Guru Rinpoche where she might be staying. Moreover, I did invite her and would like to see her again. " So he asked: ''Great Guru, where is mTsho-rgyal? Why didn't she come with you? Is this Acarya your disciple? What teachings has he received? "
The great Guru answered him with a smile:
"E Ma Ho! Bodhisattva Dharma King!
This pattern is of the nature of space;
whatever appears is the magical display of the master of space. The girl mTsho-rgyal has entered the expanse of space,
and now she resides between samsara and nirvana.
"This pattern arose from the Dharma;
there is nothing that cannot occur in the Dharma.
The girl mTsho-rgyal has entered the Dharmakaya realm, and now she resides in the place ofSamantabhadra.
"This pattern is the bliss of openness;
the magic of openness achieves all desires.
The girl mTsho-rgyal has gone to the realm of bliss and openness, and now she resides in the palace of bliss, the Three Kayas. "
After he had spoken, Padmasambhava touched his staff with his hand, and it became mTsho-rgyal. The king was astonished. When the others noticed that the queen had arrived, they commented to the ministers: "See what wonderful things this Master can do-he con- cealed mTsho-rgyal within his three-pronged staff! " While some of the ministers were delighted and amazed, many of the ministers con- cluded: "mTsho-rgyal could not have done what they say-and be- sides, the girl in the staff was not necessarily mTsho-rgyal. In fact, there is not enough room in the staff for even mTsho-rgyal's hand. Though you say a great wonder occurred, it was merely an illusion. "
So in spite of mTsho-rgyal's miraculous transformation, the minis- ters plotted against her. But most of the Tibetans continued to honor and love their queen.
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The whole procession, which included the king and Vairotsana, twenty-one principal disciples, thirty-two novices, seven ladies of noble birth, and others numbering three hundred and twenty-five, proceeded to the retreat center at mChims-phu dGe-ba. There Guru Rinpoche opened one hundred and twenty mandalas of the highest Mantrayana teachings, and all were matured and liberated.
In particular, he taught the eight great sadhanas, the Ma-gshin phur-pa, the bDud-rtsi yang-dag, the Bla-ma dgongs-'dus, the Yi-dam dgongs-'dus, the sGyu-'phrul zhi-khro, the Yang-dag zhi-khro, the Padma zhi-khro, and others. He taught the sixty-one practices of the sNying-thig and the seven different dGongs-'dus, the eleven collec- tions of the bKa'-brgyad-rgyas, and the one hundred and twenty-two Thugs-sgrub, the seventy-six special techniques, the one hundred and thirty rGyud-kyi dgongs-pa, and more.
To the king he gave the seven root practices of the bDud-rtsi yon-tan, together with twenty special techniques, and told him to practice them.
To Nam-mkha'i snying-po ofgNubs-yul, he gave the nine practices of the Yang-dag mar-me and the twenty special instructions of the bGegs-'dul phur-nag, and so on, telling him to practice them at IH~brag.
To Sangs-rgyas ye-shes and rD~rje bdud-'joms, he gave the root practices of the :Jam-dpal gshin-rje-gshed, the means of realizing the Phyag-rgya zil-snon and the six subsidiary deities. He gave them twenty special root and branch techniques and directed them to practice at Brag Yang rdzong.
To rGyal-ba mchog-dbyangs of Khung-lung and rGyal-ba bl~gros of 'Bre, he gave the rTa-mgrin yang gsang rol-pa, the means of per- fecting the three root yogas, the twenty-five special branch techniques, the twelve Tantras, and the Phra-men-ma sadhanas, directing them to practice at mChims-phu.
To Vairotsana and lDan-ma rtse-mang, he gave the means of realiz- ing the dMod-pa drag-sngags and the eight classes of root instructions
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on the dPal stob-ldan nag-po, and the eighteen mighty branch teach- ings. He told them to practice at gYa'-ma-lung.
To sKa-ba dPal-brtsegs and '0-bran dbang-phyug, he gave the inner, outer, and secret root teachings of the Ma-mo, the gNang-dbab-las- 'gyed, and so on. He told them to practice at Yer-pa'i-brag.
To both Jiianakumaravajra and Sog-po lHa-dpal gzhon-nu, he gave special instructions concerning the esoteric Yang-phur teachings and the practice of longevity and the Mahamudra. He exhorted them to practice at sNye-mo Bye-ma'i-brag.
To dPal-gyi seng-ge and Cog-ro Klu'i rgyal-mtshan, he gave the Dregs-pa rtsa-ba'i sgrub-thabs, the Khro-bo bcus-brgyan-pa, the thirty branch practices, and the Dregs-dpon sum-cu'i bskang-thabs. He gave them special practice techniques, the Las-kyi man-ngag, and told them to practice at dPal Chu-bo-ri meditation center.
To the translators Rin-chen bzang-po and Ting-'dzin bzang-po, he gave the esoteric teachings of the Great Compassion, the means of realizing the Rig-'dzin bla-ma, and the siddha practices of the supreme
Mahamudra of enlightened awareness. He told them to practice at a meditation center of dBu-ru.
To Lang-gro dKon-mchog 'byung-gnas and rGyal-ba byang-chub, he gave the teachings of the Byin-rlabs bla-ma'i sgrub, the collected esoteric teachings of Hayagriva, and the means of realizing the power- ful sadhanas of rTa-nag dregs-pa. He told them to practice at gYas-ru Shang-gi-brag.
To Dran-pa Nam-mkha' dbang-phyug and Khye'u-chung mKha'- lding, he gave the means of realizing the Padma zhi khro gsang-ba'i sgrub-thabs, the sadhana in which Vajrasattva is the main figure and is surrounded by six subsidiary deities, the practice of dPa'-gcig bsgom- pa, and the oral instructions of the thirty-six Heruka sadhanas. He told them to practice at Byang-gi gnam-mtsho-do.
To both rMa Rin-chen-mchog and rGyal-mo gYu-sgra snying-po, he gave the collected esoteric teachings of VajrapaQi, twenty further
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instructions, one hundred special techniques, and especially the prac- tices involving the yoga of longevity. He told them to meditate at mChims-phu.
As mTsho-rgyal explained: "To me, mTsho-rgyal, Padmasambhava gave the inner, outer, and secret heart practices of the Guru himself, as well as the means of realizing the Root Lotus initiations. He taught
me the seven different sadhanas connected with the mandala of the Guru and the means of realizing the three roots, lama, yidam, and qakini, within one mandala. He advised me to practice first at the Tiger Cave of 'On-phu, then at the Tiger Cave of Nepal and the Tiger Cave of Khams, and so forth, and in any place where the image ofGuru Rinpoche spontaneously manifested. Especially, I was to practice at Ti-sgro. And he said: 'If you have any difficulties or bad experiences, just call on me, and I will come to you and teach you. But be sure you stay with your companion Acarya Sa-le. ' "
The great Dharma King showed his joy and immense gratitude to Padmasambhava by offering him a great variety ofgifts, equal in num- ber to the sadhanas he had received. He heaped mountains ofgold, bolts of fine silk, and many kinds of precious worldly substances before the teacher and asked:
" 0 Great Guru!
This mandala of the highest secret teachings
is difficult to obtain though one search for ages,
but now I possess it!
There is no way to repay your great kindness.
From now until I am fully enlightened,
may your lordly compassion keep me from turning back. A king such as myself
is subject to infinite diversions and distractions-
always wandering here and there, encountering obstacles. May you look upon me always with compassion. "
Then the king tossed seven handfuls ofgold upward over the body of the Guru.
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As the assembled lotsawas who had received instructions from the Guru prepared to go to their various destinations, the king gave them presents to help them on their way. Each received a measure of gold dust and a golden bowl, some fine embroidered silk and fabrics of red, white, and indigo blue, various articles of apparel, and a horse laden with supplies. And they, in turn, vowed to practice until they had perfected their realization.
Padmasambhava was very pleased and said to the king:
"Kye Ma! Wonderful!
You are a great king indeed, a god-like ruler!
And these are the deeds of a king.
I, myself, the Lotus-born One,
have no need of garments and such-like.
But so that the king may accumulate merit,
and the commitments of the secret teaching may be furthered,
I accept them.
These twenty-four disciples of mine,
thus freed from obstacles, will accomplish their purpose.
How good that the Dharma King supports their continued practice- this is indeed the behavior of a Bodhisattva and most excellent.
With these three things-
persevering faith which produces the heart-bone,
the special instructions of Padmasambhava,
and the support and patronage of the great Dharma King-
endless good qualities will increase.
By the coming together of pure deeds and an altruistic mind,
the ocean of Buddha qualities will be perfected. "
To the king and Vairotsana, Padmasambhava gave individual oral teachings which are not included here. Each one received clear and lengthy instructions, and then all of the disciples went to the places where Guru Rinpoche had instructed them to do their practices.
"As for me," mTsho-rgyal said later, "first I went to Ti-sgro and entered the mandala of the unity of the three spiritual roots. I received
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so many different esoteric teachings, both written and oral, dealing both with overall view and specifics, that it is difficult to describe them all. By merely hearing these teachings, one can be liberated. But there are so many that I fear to put them all down in Tibetan. "
This Concludes the Fourth Chapter on How
Ye-shes mTsho-rgyal Listened to the Teachings of the Dharma
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? The Manner in Which
Ye-shes mTsho-rgyal Did Her Practices
V e-shes mTsho-rgyal practiced in the c:Jakini center of Ti-sgro Jl in the Secret Cave of mTsho-rgyal, and in other retreat centers. In these areas there were many patrons who were happy to support her in
her practice.
She first practiced in the cave of the c:Jakinis, and while in that one hermitage, she strove to genuinely invoke Padmasambhava in his peaceful aspect. Her body was completely transformed into that of a deity, and she looked upon the face of her tutelary deity. She under- stood that her own patterning and energy were the mandala of the c:Jakinis-and whatever she engaged in, she naturally accomplished. She realized that the vitality that manifests was actually her own mind, that her own mind was one with the Guruyoga, and all phenomena were the blessings of the creative play of the Lama. As a natural, spontaneous, and ecstatic devotion for the Lama arose, simultaneously, bright, spectral lights radiated from the borders of her mandala. I;>akas and c:}akinis flashed in and out through the translucent radiance.
Within that visionary experience of rich and vivid light, she saw the land of the Orgyan c:Jakinis. This is how she described it: "The trees were like keen razors, and the earth seemed made of flesh. All the rocky
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hills were bristling skeletons, and small loose bones strewn here and there served as pebbles.
"In the midst of that land stood a great castle formed of three types ofskulls-freshly severed, partly rotted, and totally dried up and free of flesh. Its roofwas covered with a sheath ofskin; the doors as well were made of skin. All around, for a distance of hundreds of thousands of miles, mountains of fire burned fiercely. A vajra formed a kind of tent above it all, and sharp weapons fell from the sky like lightning.
"Eight cemeteries formed a ring, rimmed by walls of beautiful lotuses. Predatory flesh-eating birds and wild blood-drinking animals wandered about, and demons and demonesses, roaming in great numbers, stood out vividly against the landscape.
"Although the beings there did not attack me or threaten me, neither did they make friendly overtures. As I advanced upwards, I passed along a path that circled in a zigzag fashion three times, and ended at a door. Within were many <Jakinis whose external appearance was that of women, but they were of many different colors. They were carrying offerings to present to the principal <Jakini.
"Some of the <Jakinis had cut their bodies into small pieces with razor-sharp knives and prepared offerings of their own flesh; others were giving their streaming blood. Some were giving their eyes, some their noses. Some were giving their tongues, still others, their ears. Some were giving their hearts, others were giving their viscera. Some were giving their outer muscles, some their inner organs. Still others were giving their bones and marrow.
"Some were giving their life energy, others, their breath, and still others, their heads. Some had cut off their limbs, and so on. They had cut up their own bodies and had prepared offerings of them for the principal <Jakini, who appeared Yab-Yum before them.
The offerings were then blessed as signs of their faith.
"Then I asked the <Jakinis: 'Why do you suffer in this way? To what purpose? Ifone lives in accordance with the Dharma until death, is that not sufficient? ' And they answered me:
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'Dear woman of irresolute mind!
The compassion of a great teacher who has all the qualifications may only be available briefly.
If you do not offer whatever he wishes when he looks upon you, later nothing you do may lead to fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Your insight and certainty may lase only a moment;
natural and spontaneous faith may not stay long.
If you do not make the offering when Pristine Awareness arises, later nothing you do may lead co fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Now, at least, you have a human body- you may not have it long. The chance co practice the Dharma seldom arises;
ifyou do not make offerings when you meet the qualified teacher- if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply.
'The teacher may only be here briefly;
only now can you be certain co enter the door of the secret teachings. If you do not offer yourself
when you have access to the highest Dharma-
if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply. '
"Thus they spoke, and I felt ashamed. Then, as each <Jakini presented her offering, the Vaj ra Yogini appeared before her, snapping her fingers. Instantly, each supplicant was healed and became as before. After requesting a regular Dharma practice from the principal <Jakini, each one returned to her own meditation place. They did twelve sessions of meditation each day.
"Next, a gatekeeper appeared ac each of the gates, and the Vajra<Jakini appeared in the very center in the midst of flames, her guise so brilliant it was difficult to look upon her.
"I saw many ocher different lands such as chis, but as they are de- scribed elsewhere, I will not transcribe them here for fear of making the text too long. "
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As mTsho-rgyallater explained, she then met with Guru Rinpoche and told him the story of her visions. She asked him the significance of such experiences, saying: "As I wish to do such difficult practices, would you please give me the necessary vows? "
Guru Rinpoche replied: "What you saw were merely symbolic ex- periences. It is not now necessary for you to do such arduous prac- tices, offering your flesh and so forth. Just follow the disciplines I will give you now:
"Listen, Goddess mTsho-rgyal-ma!
Watch and listen undistracted, Irresistible Lady.
Seek to attain the Golden Tree,
the precious jewel-like human body.
If you understand how to use it, you will have food forever- if not, you may not have even one day's breakfast.
Without understanding this, you will starve to death.
But if you can do as you promise, all will go well.
"Take the healing essence of herb, nectar, and mineral, and then eat the food of air:
This is the discipline of food.
"Wear cotton cloth, wear bone ornaments, and then go naked without adornments, relying on the gtum-mo breathing:
This is the discipline of dress.
"Practice invocation, sadhanas, Dharma activity, mantras, energy flow, and silence-abandon idle talk:
This is the discipline of speech.
"Do prostrations and circumambulations, purify your body, and adopt the lotus position- remain calm and composed:
This is the discipline of body.
"Practice vitality, bliss, and openness, the Developing and Perfecting Stages-
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meditate upon their unity: This is the discipline of mind.
"Adhere to the Buddha's teachings, guard the doctrine, practice skillful means-teach, debate, and write:
This is the discipline of teaching.
"Benefit others, be benevolent,
hold to the Mahayana aspiration of immeasurable compassion without regard for your own life:
This is the discipline of benefitting others.
"Regard your enemies as your sons- look at gold as if it were clay,
love others more than you do yourself: This is the discipline of compassion. ?
"When you act like this, you practice the Buddhadharma:
You will perfect the most sublime wonder-Great Bliss.
If you do not act this way, you cast your lot in with the heretics: Your discipline will be the same as theirs.
"Daughter of mKhar-chen bza', understand this and use it well. "
So he spoke, and mTsho-rgyal vowed to fulfill the eight great disci- plines as taught by the Guru:
"What a great wonder!
To this unhappy land came the Buddha's teaching;
to this land of darkness came the clear burning crystal lamp. To Tibet, land of demons, came the Lord of Orgyan,
and beings who lacked the Dharma
felt the rain of the pure teachings.
"I feel the same wonder
as when the troubled looked up and found good fortune, when the actual Buddha appeared
and performed his deeds at Vajrasana.
How can I repay the Guru's kindness
which liberates us from samsara?
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"Now I, the lady mTsho-rgyal,
have entered the door of the esoteric teachings- yes, even the door of the secret mandalas.
"I would rather die
than break my promises to you in any way,
or disgrace the eight great disciplines.
I will disregard my body, my fate, my life;
I will consider only the teachings of the Jetsun Guru.
"I would rather die
than compromise my commitment to the Dharma. I will disregard food, drink, and clothing;
with body, speech, and mind,
I will care only for what benefits the Buddha,
the Dharma, and sentient beings.
"I will care for others more than for myself, and fulfill the eight compassionate tasks.
I will certainly not take this practice lightly, or neglect the essential teachings. "
She made the gesture of promise three times and solemnly vowed to practice the eight disciplines. Padmasambhava was most pleased and gave some final instructions and prophesies. Then he returned to the king's sanctuary.
The lady began by practicing the discipline of dress with gtum-mo exercises. She climbed to the mountain heights near Ti-sgro and found a cave lying between the icy glaciers and the forested mountain slopes. Wearing only one piece ofcotton doth, she settled down to practice for one year.
. At first, the heat ofgtum-mo did not arise in her body. Outside, the icy winds of the new year were blowing; snow fell heavily and hoarfrost blanketed the world. mTsho-rgyal could barely continue. Acarya Sa-le had gone with Guru Rinpoche to serve him, and she was absolutely alone. But the promise she had made strengthened her resolve, and she continued to meditate.
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Her whole body became covered with blisters from the cold, and sharp, stabbing pains ran through her. Her breath came in short, choking gasps; she was near death. But mTsho-rgyal visualized the
Jetsun Guru in her mind and prayed to him:
"Orgyan Dharma Lord, Protector of Beings,
look upon me with the sunlight ofyour compassion!
Your daughter is naked, friendless, all alone.
This terrible cave is dark, and freezing winds blow through it. When the blizzard rages outside, whose daughter am I?
"My stone bed is hard and cold as ice.
Like a rock, I cannot do anything.
Inside or outside the cave, there is no difference-
this white cotton cloth is useless.
Bless me with the warm sunlight ofyour compassion! Please help me kindle the gtum-mo heat! "
As she prayed, her karmic energies became slightly altered, and this small change was enough to allow the gtum-mo heat to rise. mTsho- rgyal felt an overwhelming and spontaneous confidence toward her teacher and prayed:
"When the teacher with all the qualifications
bestowed upon me the pure essence-
the powerful grace of the Vajrayana, the esoteric teachings-
! felt the pristine wisdom ofVajrasattva,
and the Four Great Joys danced in my heart.
Then the White-dressed One, the Fire l)akini, rose up within me, and sublime warmth and bliss came forth.
Now I am wondrously happy!
Please continue to show your kindness! "
Just as these thoughts occurred to her, the Orgyan Lama himself appeared before her in the form of a Heruka, handed her a skull cup of beer, and disappeared.
As Ye-shes mTsho-rgyallater explained: "I continued to experience ever-increasing warmth and bliss. I felt joyful and happy. My body,
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before so cold and miserable, changed as completely as a snake losing its skin.
"Now I decided the time had come for donning the bone garlands, so I set aside my cotton cloth and put on garments ofbone. I integrated the three facets of meditation for this stage, and practiced this disci- pline for one year. At this time, all my food supplies were gone; not even a grain of barley remained. For sustenance I relied upon mineral substances and drank only water. And I continued to meditate.
"Sometimes I had powerful visions of past lives and other striking experiences, but I became weaker and weaker. My legs could no longer support my body; my body could no longer support my head. I could barely breathe, and even my mind became weak. Growing worse, I came to the brink of death. But then again I called upon my teacher, propitiated my yidam, and continuously visualized a stream of offerings to the qakinis. I prayed:
'From the beginning I have given my body to the Lama; whatever will happen, happiness or misery,
the lama knows.
'From the beginning I have given my speech to the pure Dharma; whether my breath will continue to flow or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning I have directed my mind toward virtue; whether it is virtuous or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my body has been a citadel for the yidam; whether he wishes to abide there or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my patterning and energy have been a conduit for the qakini;
whether she wishes to enter this path,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my vitality has been the essence of the Sugata;
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will I pass beyond misery or turn the Wheel of the Dharma?
I have watched sentient beings, my mothers,
unceasingly wander in confusion.
Whether I, your daughter, find samsara or nirvana, you decide. '
"When I had spoken these words, a red lady, completely naked and lacking even bone ornaments, appeared before me. She placed her bhaga to my mouth, and blood flowed from it, which I drank ofdeeply. Then it seemed that all the realms were filled with bliss! Strength equal to that of a lion returned to me. I experienced a meditation of complete transcendence without any attributes at all.
"Now I felt the time had come to sit naked and rely on the food of air. Thus I practiced for one year, wearing no garments and no orna- ments, nourished only by the pure air.
"At first, bliss accompanied the coming and going of my breath. I had various kinds of clear and visionary experiences, and creative and penetrating awareness arose unimpeded.
"But after a while, doubts assailed my mind. My breath became unstable, and I could not control it. My throat became dry and rough, my nose and throat felt as if they were stuffed with cotton; my stomach, growling and filled with gas, gave me great pain. Once more, I came close to death.
"Collecting myself with great effort, I called upon Guru Rinpoche, singing: 'Innumerable times your daughter has assumed bodily form and wandered in samsara. I have suffered in the harsh states of being, surrounded by birth and death, distraught with heat and cold, hunger and thirst, yet I have endured.
'The most important possession is a human body.
The shortest path is the esoteric teachings;
the quickest method is difficult practice.
Although this is almost unbearable, what else is there to do? There is no end to my vow:
I will still continue to practice the disciplines- ! will be mTsho-rgyal of the Heart-bone!
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'Wonderful magically lotus-born Tulku,
Self-arisen lama, Teacher of Orgyan,
compassionate and mighty one!
Your wonderful diamond body is a mandala of the Rainbow Body. Please look with compassion on beings with ordinary bodies! Will you help my poor inferior body?
Whatever happens to this physical form, wherever you may be, please look upon me with love and compassion. '
"As soon as I spoke, Padmasambhava appeared to me in the midst of shining light, smiling radiantly. He sat down in the air itself, only an arm's length away, and said to me:
'Listen well, daughter of the lineage,
daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the daughter of a king,
you cared only for finery and pleasure,
and could bear no misfortune at all.
Now is the time to be unconcerned
whether you meet happiness or misery on the path. Whatever comes, suffering or Great Bliss, carry on! Do not crave bliss.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the young wife of a king,
how proud you were-
you were fettered by your own desires.
Now is the time to give up all activities and needs. Meditate on impermanence
and think about the suffering of the lower realms. Do not have great desires.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! When you were the consort of the lama, how egotistical you were-
your position meant so much to you. Now is the time to reject your old faults;
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do not hide them but constantly tear them out. Do not wish for fame.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! How proud you were of following the Dharma, how crafty and deceitful you were-
before you were only a hypocrite.
Now is the time to reject all artifice and sham; do not hold back, but show your perseverance. Do not dwell on what you have done.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble. '
"Then Padmasambhava came down to earth and sat upon a large rock. He continued: 'Now, there is something more for you to do. Carefully extract the essence from plants and herbs, and use these to cleanse your awareness, stimulate your creativity, and restore your body.
" 'I, Padmasambhava, exist only for the benefit of beings. From be- ginningless time, I have hidden many precious and sacred Dharma teachings. These are inexhaustible and will continue into the future until samsara is completely emptied of beings. Later, I must go to the rNga-yab l)akini Island. You, my lady, must take pains to procure all my profound treasures, so tomorrow I will open for you the many mandalas of the highest Mantrayana. The time has come to work for the benefit of beings; make such preparations as I direct you. ' He gave
me many detailed teachings, and then departed. "
As mTsho-rgyal later explained, after meeting Acarya Sa-le and his friend, the girl named bDe-ba-mo, she led them to the three Lion Lair Caves of Bhutan to practice. First, they went to the Lair of the Lion's Mouth and extracted the essence from medicinal plants and minerals. Then mTsho-rgyal sought for just the right minerals, especially the white cong-zhi 'essence of all minerals', and distilled its healing prop- erties. Her body became as strong as a vajra and impervious to weapons. Her speech became clear and melodious, its sound so sooth- ing it calmed even the proud tigress. Her mind entered a meditation like the indestructible vajra.
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mTsho-rgyal now felt in her heart that the time had come to practice the arduous discipline ofspeech. First she prayed over and over again to purify all obscurations involved with speech. She practiced a very long time, doing Dharma sadhanas uninterruptedly, day and night, with never a break in the sound of her chanting.
In the beginning, she practiced the one-hundred-syllable mantra and other mantras of the Rig-sngags, as well as those of the gZungs-sngags. She also took up the expiatory and purification practices of the Kriya, Carya, and Yoga Tantras.
Next, she practiced the teachings of the five Buddha families and the three deities, Avalokitdvara, VajrapaQi, and Maiijusri, and the related teachings, chanting the gZungs-sngags of the Upa and Yoga mandalas.
Finally, she recited the Siitras by heart and recited confessions and vows. She behaved in the manner set forth by the Vinaya, and practiced the teachings of Amitayus. In order to make her mind sharp and clear, she strove to completely master the Abhidharma, logic, epistemology, and soon.
At first her voice stammered. Her throat was tom so that great quantities of blood and pus frothed forth; she felt a searing pain in her esophagus, and it became twisted, hard, and dry, swollen with blood and pus. Again she came close to dying.
But in the end, at whatever length she wished to speak, she felt no discomfort. The sound of her voice was always beautiful, the words clear and appropriate, the rhythm musical and pleasing. She could speak at any pitch, high, medium, or low; she could talk very fast or very slow or at a moderate rate. She thus developed complete control over her voice, and it responded exactly as she desired. In short, she developed all the sixty different. fine qualities of voice. She also per- fected the seven powers of complete retention.
mTsho-rgyal opened the eight Heruka mandalas in the manner of the Mahayoga Tantras and practiced until she clearly saw the faces ofall the deities.