Therefore
there's no way of being ofall, but by being of none.
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
As Absalom stole the hearts of the people, not by accusing David, but faying, there none put ed
the king to do justice. This still resects upon him. - And no government can that will suffer its admini- tration to? be pubaickly lampoon must unavoid ably alienate the hearts of the people and renders the government contemptible! for this end we do it. And now shall have trial of skill, whether
we can do or not. It not my cause only, but
of oar mighty God legion who must not be disoblig'd, and therefore must prevail! whose power consists in his grin, and making himself formidable. And who
ever are frighted at him, he devours them
one exception. ) And whoever resists him, he pies from them. Witness Q^Bess, whom we curs'd all her lise; and have her memory in detestation to this day. And wit ness K. Charles II. after the Oxfordparliament when he made us all scamper, and run like serpents into our boles
no other force than supporting the lavss, and not suffering us to trample upon them, and out-brave them, as we do now maintaining the cerporatien and test aBt in their vigour, and not letting them be explain'd
away in z. senfdefs and hypocritical occasional conformity. Thi*.
pretend,
(without
E 3
if
it, dI
! by
it
by
of
I
I
it
by
;
is a
it
;
;
I is d
;
It
is
A
d.
I
!
78
The REHEARSAL.
This brought us so/sw, that even in xealous Scotland,
there was not, at his death, (which happen'd soon after)
one presbyterian publick meeting, but what dropped of it self ; and all came to church, when they faw there was
nothing to be got by staying out of it ! but his brother K. Jamee II. set us up again ; and what he got by it is well known.
We were all as much down, and as much dispirited as ever, upon the death of our lateglorious K as thou did'st remind me in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. And if we had been let alone, we should have been as quiet as a mouse in
a cheese.
But now that we are valud and confider'd, we are
And will have t'other touch for it !
I tell thee, countryman, they dare notdisoblige us, out
party having so much money in the hank and publick funds. C. They have us the faster for that, man ; for tho' we befalse to every thing else, we never will be to our interest ! It has been the policy of several kings to run in debt to their subjects, on purpose to keep them fast to their interest. And several church-men being deep in the
funds in the last reign, was the greatest security our good K. had of them. . * O. That was an unlucky thought in thee, which may be improv'd. Be sure thou fay not a word of it to any purlicment men ; it will turn the strongest argument we
navefor us, to be quite against us.
But hast thou obierv'd what I bid thee to get me, all
the libels that have been printed fence her majesty's accession to the throne, against her majesty's title, against the Ha-
confiderable again.
UOVir succession, in favour of Perkin, and against the
liberties, all which I may have them ready at my trial.
English
have
answer
that
C. All that thou hast answer d> Which are those thou ought'st to know them best. never heard of one of them. Or of any answer ever thou gav'st, except
calling rogue and rascal, and Bellarmin thou ft.
But have already minded thee of monstrous and Jenfeless libel, which have answer d; and struck the
I
I
a
I
If
'd,
?
I
bouse
who are the
of the liberties of I
The REHEARSAL.
79 vile v arlet dumb, that he dare not reply a word ; and
it may do thee confiderable service at thy trial. It is
the most impudent and ungrateful of vchigs, who endea- vour'd to murtber, and has, what in him lay, murder d
the memory of the who had put the greatest obligations upon him of any in the world, fav'd him from hanging,
which he richly deserv'd, and from a whipping, which he thought more grievous. It is the famous Observator— The very fame — alias Bays, alias Nobbs, alias Tutchin, alias Alias. Now look into my Rehearsal N. 2 and 3. there thou wilt sind how he mistakes, blackens, and con
demns the revolution. Compares it with the murder of K. Charles I. and makes the one as justifiable as the o/^fr.
N.
can never be. Where thou wilt sind likewise another li
bel, (which thou know'st full well) with designs against the life of the princess Anne of Denmark, to bring he r into a plot ; and to prevent her accession to the throne. And Rehears. N. 2. &c. it is shew'd, that the Observator is against the Enclish liberties, by making the govern- ment derivative' from the mob, and accountable to it; which destroys all liberty whatsoever. And N. 3. by at tacking the ministry, and distinguishing it from the govern ment. And by setting up a legistative power, without the king ; which is made premunire by the Statute 1 3 Gsr.
2. c. 1. And N. 4. by setting up legion against the
1 1. heis
against
the Hanover
succession
; and it fays,
of commons, and putting them into his /z/? of knaves,
conservators
think this is being against the
English England. liberties:
Again N. 3. you have him arraigning all our present judges, of injustice and foul play. And in the fame N. 3. and N. 8. ;oy•? / highness the prince is acrasVand riitf-
fa/V. Besides Sir George Rook, and others abundantly ! And if you will look backwards, you will sind, N. . y„.
his abuses of the late K. William, and his favourites and
ministry in their turn.
And, to conclude, it is told N.
1 1 . how he has
dinyd and oppos'd the queens hereditary right. He ays, in his Observator, Vpl. 2. N. 86. That to assert an
sally E4 here
to The REHEARS AL.
hereditary government in England, is asquint-efd reflec tion on her majesty's title. But this is no squint-efd, but a £rect and plain reflection, not only upon her mtzjt-
fiy% HEREdITARy right; but also Upon the HEREDITART
, that is made upon the house of Hanover. And soI
for ought I know, made treason by that acl. I'm sure
I have.
O. Thou'rt a delicate sellow, to help a lame dcg over
wou'd'nt come so i ear it for the best como
the stile ! But there is one part of my instructions thou Jkast forgot. That to sind out some that speak infavour ef Perkin. Thou canst not charge Observator with that too
C. can charge him with keeping up the name of whom he means by Perkin, that we may not forget. There has not been word of him from his own party, if any such are left in England: They have been all bujh, fince her majesty accession to the throne, as if they were" well pleas V. At least they are modesty And the name of Perkin might have been dead among us by this time, but for the Observator, and some hypochondriac sinners, who dream of him all night, and rave upon him all the day and tell what other people may expect, when they ait so haunted him for they measure by their own bushel. And perhaps they may plead merit anothef;day, - as the
onlyfolks who kerit'hSs cause alive tho' Under the disguise of little railing, which does Hiiti ml harm'': They: haver done as strange things as these And what can contribute more to the interest of Perkin, than to assert, that there
no hereditary right, either in the queen, or in the fuc- tesfion of the house of Hanover, as this Observator has ma nifestly done And upon this head, he has flown in the face of the many loyal addresses to her majesty, congratu lating her hereditary right blood, and her happy ac cession to the throne of her ancestors. How many Tallards hast thou had for this, Nobbs
O. The deviss in thee. Thou'lt make me mad at last What not only turn the revolution upon me (of which
am the vindicator, by providence and my queen, and the succession of Hanover, but Perkin too Wou'd'st make me
) !
;'.
I
!
is
a
I
!
!
f
?
by !
?
by
! 's
a
is,
The REHEARS AL.
81
me a Perkinitc ? What a jest it wou'd be, to have me. after all, hangV for iPerkinite! Thou wou'd'st call itr quitting old scores ! and Hotham ! but I can never £zwr it- Tisfolly to talk on't!
C. Thy godfathers and agree about thatI But in plainness, master, by all that thou hast faid, thou must be either for Perkin or puss. And some think puss is the best way to bring in Pcrkin. As it did before. Eor the nation will never bear thy puss. It was try'd before. And
she scratch''d so devilishly, there was no en
And wishing her speedy accession, is as much treason as another. As the health about which the quarrel was at
comes
Chippenbam last Miehaelmas-dry Of which I told thee, Rehears. N. II. For thou know'st speedy accession to one, is speedy removal to another.
O. Well! if I
am born to be
often into my mind) I hope I shall have compary !
O. I cou'd not help it, man, if I shou'd be hang'd for't. ' I was put upon it. Thefaction has need ot me, present needs the parliament now beginning ; and who knows bat the occafional hill may come in again ? and the high- church get up upon us ! arirj'd with their victories this-
summer! There are notices to be given, and the word thro' the nation, upon every turn, as ore fi'm requires; may be new black lists, and so forth ! And oar people must be plyd with •warm deaths, at least three times a •week,. that they may not coot, but be ready upon zn hour & warn-- iag ! And what my neck, in comparison of all this gmi? The whole cause at stake! have s. gn'd cen-- tract ofsoul and body with legion, to pall down the church.
C. There one thing exceeding necessary, master,, that while thou hast taken upon thee the post of being
stickler between churches, and regulator of all, as well" ecclefiastical as civil affairs, thou shou'd'st fatisfy the world what religion thou thy self art of what church thou art
andwhatnot. , .
han£d (which
I of her. ring
C. Upon the whole, master, I think thou had'st as good have let alone thy thrice a week Observators, till- after thy trial ; for it is very provoking.
of,
.
;
a
I
a .
is
is'
is
a
REHEARSAL.
O. I have taken care of that, in the first volume of my Observators, N. 71. Dec. 26, 1 702. Wherein axe my Reste&ions on the shortest way with the dissenters, which I make to have been wrote by a clergyman ; and call it a villainous book. (The reason of which thou'lt sind in Re hearsal, N. 10. ) And pretend to answer it (but not since
the worthy author was discover d; and the sinest plot in
the world Jpoisd! ) where having laid load upon the
church of England as a bloody, persecuting church, and de
signing no less than a very massacre of all the dissenters: and coming to answer the barbarous treatment, and per
82 The
secution (indeed) of the church in Scotland, by the prefiyte- rians, since the revolution ; I make my conclufion against them both, and all churches whatsoever, as not worth any body's thoughIt, and fay thus to thee, Truly,
church; but 1 am an utter to moltst any enemy
cIountryman, my
shall priest -crast;
don't trouble head about, nor ever
and do believe, that put any clergyman in the coach-box,
and he will lash at any rate—There's my Ineighbour
fays, he's of no religion at all, and
lives at ease and quiet, free from cavils and contention. 1 think to lay it afide also, till allparties are agreed.
C. Thus thou instructed'st me, at that time ; and all
thou hast done fince, is exactly pursuant to it. In thy
Observator ot March 29, •I704. Vol. 3. N. 2. thou jnak'& knaves both of churchmen and dissenters, and fay'st,
officers in all religions may be knaves. But thou lay'st hea viest load upon the church, and mak'st these knave-officers to be church-men, all church-men, honest countryman (fay'st thou to me) true blue protestants ofthe church of England.
Then thou mak'st all the clergy to be knaves and rogues, not an honest or sober man to be found amongst them all. And fay'st, go ask doctor Ken net ; go ask the upper house of convocation. There you may hear
them at their old trade ^"Billingsgate, thou rogue, and' thou rogue. And thou told me before to lay afide ail religion, till all parties are agreed.
But art not thou and me, master, who have no religion, nor arc of any church 1 ■
O. Hold,
John vow the man
honest
The REHEARSAL.
83
O. Hold, man, thou mistak'st. We are ofall churches
and. of all religions.
C. That's what I faid, of no church, and of no reli
gion. It is the self fame thing, majler. Verily thefame ! for all cannot be true ; and one is oppofite to another.
Therefore there's no way of being ofall, but by being of none. That is, to be indifferent to all, and so oppo site to none. To carry occafional conformity about us to all, where either laiv, or civility, or any interest do's
oblige us. And there is no way so efsectual to destroy all, as by being of all, to shew, that there is no truth or importance in any of them. But I was going to fay, are men so qualify d sit arbitrators in matters of religion, and
of cburch-disputes ? as thou mak'st thy self, master. O. Yes, the most fit ; because most impartial!
aj
being concern d on none of their fides ! neither gainers nor
lofers, whoever gets the cause, whether Christ or Maho-
met-i the fincerity or infincerity of the gospel; true or false apostles Or ministry ; whether Aaron or Korah, or
the priesthood of Micah ; all is priest-crast! to which I have declar'd my self an utter enemy. And you know, put any clergyman in the coach box—It is our maxim,onX. of Dryden (which I heard quoted in an honourable assembly )
Priests of all religions are the same. And I'll tell thee, countryman, our no church, is per
haps a greater church, than any of their churches. Ours are all the whigs to a man! the deists, the beaus and de
bauchees, and the occafional-conformists. Nor do we want our quality ; our bishops and clergy ; and serjeants at law too, and writers for our church ! men of lARGE.
thoughts, comprehensive charity— —Sec.
From ^»at. Oct. 28, to ÆaCNov. 4, 1704. The\Observator's trial and desence this good day.
QbfJ ■
''HIS it the in which our valour day
Try our title to rebel be just. if
must
E6 Be*
N° 14.
king.
The OBSERVATORY
84
Besides, (as I take notice in my vindication Observator,
Oct. 26. N. 63. ) it is the birth-day of our late dear
Which I take for a good omen. I hope I may be forgiven for his fake. I am sure I served him fakh-- fully. And though I turned cat in /an to him, -and beflaved him too, when he was dead (as thou hast it in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. ) yet I hope he will consider, what a mortal fear we were in at that time, when we faw hereditary return again, in the person of & princess whom:
we bad disdainfully treated ; and some sought her life, to have brought her into a plot, and to have prevented her accession to the throne of her ancestors, as shewed in Rehears. N. 11. And measuring her by our selves, what is it w could have expected ? what reason had we to think of all that goodness and clemency we have met with, not only to be forgiven, but advanced, and put into places of the greatest honour and trust, equal, at least, to those who had always preserved an intire reve rence' and duty to her royal highness, and were not afraid, to express it ; when others thought it not safe ; and came not in till the eleventh hour, yet were made equal to- tbose who had born the burthen and beat of the day.
But above all, the interest of legion our God is con cerned in the fate of this day. For if I am c. ist, Eng- land is dispossessed of him, and he must be turned into the herd ofswine. His hijstng littleserpents will be mute,
if /his trumpeter general am filenced.
On the other hand, if / come off scot-free, then the
wordis given, and 1 proclaim it aloud, so many times a week, for full license to scandal ! and let none hereafter be asraid to attack the government and ministry, from top to bottom, in the plainest and most abusive manner j for none can exceed what /have done!
C. Come, master, let thee and me use the discipline- we have learned in the famous univerfity of Newgate;. where the criminals sit, and try one another; and thereI- By give a shrewd guess what will come of it. Then am judge, for this bout— —-Bring that rogue
vator to the bar.
3
the Obser 0. An't
TRTALand DEFEKCE,&c. %
J O. An't please your wor/hip, my good lord countryman' am humble I have
your
abuses in the naval and victualling office, and that is the
servant. discovered several
crime for which I
C. No, firrah, that is not the matter ; but thy man
stand here.
ner of doing it. In appealing to the mob, and endea vouring to enstame them all over the nation, and possess them against the government, in thy nafiy Observators. If thou had'st any thing to inform, or to accuse any body of, the law is open, and thou shoud'st have impleaded them before the proper judges. But to. throw thy scan dals, like fire-brands, all through the euition, must be only tospirit up the mob, for no good end to be sure ! what account can you give of that ?
O. The fame that I give in my Observator, Vol. 3. . N. 62. of \z&. 03ob. 24. The officers of the navy wear the nation's livery; and 1 hope those who pay taxes, may. take notice how they are spent. f
C. What do 'ft mean, Bays, by. the nation'^ livery do's the nation wear a livery?
O. Thou improves very dully under all my instruc tions, thou rehearser ; thou never minds the plot of the play ! dos'nt remember how in all my Observators, from
top to bottom, I always
stile of calling every tiling the peoples, as the people's laws, the people's kinc,. &c. that is, all made by the people; and so accountable to-
use this
the peoples and if the&wg-is so, much more are his live
ries and his badges, worn by whomsoever ? therefore I fay,
that the admiralty and iwz^ office, and so all the offices and
officers in the nation (which word I always use instead of
kingdom, I hate that word f) do ourar the sai ion's /z-
ver*, not the king's. And consequently are the nati on's, that is, the people's, that the mob's, that is,
countryman, thine and my officers, soldiers, Sec. wear ing our livery, and accountable to us boys even she king or queen her self! she WOwears our. livery her fivord*
scepter, and crown, her robes red and blue; herspurs^. and all her trinkets, are our liverie; she hersels
Ovas! in this sense that repeat often the no blest
it is,
I
is,
so !
!
!
is
36 The
OBSERVATOR's
blest title I give her of my queen, and my queen ! as teaching her, how much^f is asubject to me ! for who made her queen of me ? even me my self! and you know, who makes, can unmake ! the inherent and radical pow
er is stiIll in me ! for, as our oracle
alone am me. king ef
fays,
'
This kingdom of me is situated in what they call terra au- stralis incognita ; and is the only place in the world,
where men were
Born free, as nature strst made man,
Ere the base laws ofservitude began, When wild in woods the noble savage ran.
From this Utopia we have taken all our schemes ofgo vernment ever since ! this is true liberty and property, to- reduce all to the noble savage again ! to make mob the
•
supreme, and kings and qjeens to worship us, and wear oUr liveries!
C. I did not know what sine foot-men, and foot-women
Ihad before! then my queen, is my waiting-maid, is she not ? and Imay send her ofan errand, to sill me a
dish of october, or to clean my /hoes, if I judge it for the good of the kingdom of me! otherwise, I may turn her out of doors, and get some other good-woman for my
house-keeper ! Is not all this right, master ?
O. Most certainly and apparently. CONSEQUENTIAl to all our principles. Nay, not only to turn our king or queen to the door, but to cut them in pieces, and drag them about the
if we I streets, judge them guilty of what
we please to call treason against us their masters! As have asserted in my Observator, Vol. 2 N. 22. and in
many others. It is the tbeam
I preach
upon. This is
the conclufion of every argument I bring. The depofing doctrine is my text. I maintain it openly, and in express
terms. And I turn the revolution upon thatfoot (contra
ry to the declaration of the convention] that under the shadow of that, I may speak treason my belly full.
C. But who is it has this authority to tall kings to account,
TR YAL and DEFENCE, &c.
87 account, to examine into their administration, and pass
sentence upon them, to cut them in pieces, drag them about the streets, &c ? Is it the mob, the people, every one that pleases, thee or me, master? Or is it only the peo
ple when represented in contention or parliament ?
0. It is thee and me and every bodv
it is
we
!
that are the original of parliaments, as well as of kings. The of commons call themselves our representatives.
As I fay (Vol. 2. N. 79. ) / £ave now two members in the house of commons, representing my person. Arn't we brave sellows, countryman ! and we have exercised our authority to the full over this present house of commons, in our legion million papers, wherein we call them down right rogues and villains, and betrayers of their trust to
us. Andin-my Observators I pay them off plentifully. Aud fay, Vol. 2. N. 99. that I don't mean them at St. Stephen, in my list of knaves, nor the bench, nor the church ! when the Observator but one before, N. 97. I put all the present judges into my lift, and Vol. 3. N. 2. The »/^>cr house of convocation, as well as the inse rior clergy. And those at St. Stephen no more than these!
In Vol. 2. N. 79, 1 call a book of Sir Humphrey Mack- wortVi an appeal to the people ; and inser, that any one , of the people may shew his like or diflike of that appeal :
So that it is every one of the people that is appealed to. And every one may give his sentence, and censure what ■ ever action of the government, that I bring before him,, in my appeals of Observators, and all the rest of our
scandalous club.
But I have told thee plainly to whom appeals may be
made, and who have right to examine into the admini stration of the government, even «// that pay taxes, as before quoted in my Observator, preparatory to my trial, Vol. 3. N. 62. ^»i/ /Ao/e (fay I) those who pay
taxes, may take notice how they are spent.
C. Now thou talk'st of trial, I have forgot my self all
this while; I have been talking with thee at the old
rate, as thy simple I countryman. I forgot my post at this
OBSERVATORY
this time, that I am now thy judge therefore must put on authority, and deal with thee like a foul criminal, as thou art. I'll teach thee now another sort of doctrine. Thou fay'st, that all that pay taxes may take notice how they arespent. Who are they that pay taxes ? come, tell me
88 The
quickly.
'O. Your lordjbip
knows as well as me, Every man, toilman, and child in the nation, both ali•ue and dead;
for we are tax'd for thestrst and last breath that we-
draw ; because it is by our own consent: Which makes
us free-born, beyond any other people !
. C. That is, we are born free to pay taxes ! call's! thou
this free-horn ? thou ought'st to be hang'd for a dunce, as well as a knave. Do children in the womb give their
vote to be tax'd as soon as they are born?
O. If they like not the conditions of our government,
they may stay where they are, and not come into it ! or go and be born in some other country, where they like the constitution better. But good your lord/hip, I have - something else to fay, they are concluded by their refrtfen- tatives in parliament.
C. Did they vote for such representatives?
O. As much, as much as the major number of the gronun people, who have no vote in elections. And why may
not a child have a representative, as well as a man who . never votes for any ?
C. Ma s s ! the rogue has puzzesd me ; he's book-learn'd! and now I sind, that the people of England are no more
than the children that are yet unborn ! but why then do we call the Æoa/i of commons the representa tives of the people?
O. Why ? are not those who have votes dispeople ? . that is, Apart of the people! and it is a common figure to put a£tfr/ for the whole. And so,- though they ar»- not half, noi half the half of the people; yet, by our
represented,
figure oispeaking, they are thepeople t
C.
the king to do justice. This still resects upon him. - And no government can that will suffer its admini- tration to? be pubaickly lampoon must unavoid ably alienate the hearts of the people and renders the government contemptible! for this end we do it. And now shall have trial of skill, whether
we can do or not. It not my cause only, but
of oar mighty God legion who must not be disoblig'd, and therefore must prevail! whose power consists in his grin, and making himself formidable. And who
ever are frighted at him, he devours them
one exception. ) And whoever resists him, he pies from them. Witness Q^Bess, whom we curs'd all her lise; and have her memory in detestation to this day. And wit ness K. Charles II. after the Oxfordparliament when he made us all scamper, and run like serpents into our boles
no other force than supporting the lavss, and not suffering us to trample upon them, and out-brave them, as we do now maintaining the cerporatien and test aBt in their vigour, and not letting them be explain'd
away in z. senfdefs and hypocritical occasional conformity. Thi*.
pretend,
(without
E 3
if
it, dI
! by
it
by
of
I
I
it
by
;
is a
it
;
;
I is d
;
It
is
A
d.
I
!
78
The REHEARSAL.
This brought us so/sw, that even in xealous Scotland,
there was not, at his death, (which happen'd soon after)
one presbyterian publick meeting, but what dropped of it self ; and all came to church, when they faw there was
nothing to be got by staying out of it ! but his brother K. Jamee II. set us up again ; and what he got by it is well known.
We were all as much down, and as much dispirited as ever, upon the death of our lateglorious K as thou did'st remind me in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. And if we had been let alone, we should have been as quiet as a mouse in
a cheese.
But now that we are valud and confider'd, we are
And will have t'other touch for it !
I tell thee, countryman, they dare notdisoblige us, out
party having so much money in the hank and publick funds. C. They have us the faster for that, man ; for tho' we befalse to every thing else, we never will be to our interest ! It has been the policy of several kings to run in debt to their subjects, on purpose to keep them fast to their interest. And several church-men being deep in the
funds in the last reign, was the greatest security our good K. had of them. . * O. That was an unlucky thought in thee, which may be improv'd. Be sure thou fay not a word of it to any purlicment men ; it will turn the strongest argument we
navefor us, to be quite against us.
But hast thou obierv'd what I bid thee to get me, all
the libels that have been printed fence her majesty's accession to the throne, against her majesty's title, against the Ha-
confiderable again.
UOVir succession, in favour of Perkin, and against the
liberties, all which I may have them ready at my trial.
English
have
answer
that
C. All that thou hast answer d> Which are those thou ought'st to know them best. never heard of one of them. Or of any answer ever thou gav'st, except
calling rogue and rascal, and Bellarmin thou ft.
But have already minded thee of monstrous and Jenfeless libel, which have answer d; and struck the
I
I
a
I
If
'd,
?
I
bouse
who are the
of the liberties of I
The REHEARSAL.
79 vile v arlet dumb, that he dare not reply a word ; and
it may do thee confiderable service at thy trial. It is
the most impudent and ungrateful of vchigs, who endea- vour'd to murtber, and has, what in him lay, murder d
the memory of the who had put the greatest obligations upon him of any in the world, fav'd him from hanging,
which he richly deserv'd, and from a whipping, which he thought more grievous. It is the famous Observator— The very fame — alias Bays, alias Nobbs, alias Tutchin, alias Alias. Now look into my Rehearsal N. 2 and 3. there thou wilt sind how he mistakes, blackens, and con
demns the revolution. Compares it with the murder of K. Charles I. and makes the one as justifiable as the o/^fr.
N.
can never be. Where thou wilt sind likewise another li
bel, (which thou know'st full well) with designs against the life of the princess Anne of Denmark, to bring he r into a plot ; and to prevent her accession to the throne. And Rehears. N. 2. &c. it is shew'd, that the Observator is against the Enclish liberties, by making the govern- ment derivative' from the mob, and accountable to it; which destroys all liberty whatsoever. And N. 3. by at tacking the ministry, and distinguishing it from the govern ment. And by setting up a legistative power, without the king ; which is made premunire by the Statute 1 3 Gsr.
2. c. 1. And N. 4. by setting up legion against the
1 1. heis
against
the Hanover
succession
; and it fays,
of commons, and putting them into his /z/? of knaves,
conservators
think this is being against the
English England. liberties:
Again N. 3. you have him arraigning all our present judges, of injustice and foul play. And in the fame N. 3. and N. 8. ;oy•? / highness the prince is acrasVand riitf-
fa/V. Besides Sir George Rook, and others abundantly ! And if you will look backwards, you will sind, N. . y„.
his abuses of the late K. William, and his favourites and
ministry in their turn.
And, to conclude, it is told N.
1 1 . how he has
dinyd and oppos'd the queens hereditary right. He ays, in his Observator, Vpl. 2. N. 86. That to assert an
sally E4 here
to The REHEARS AL.
hereditary government in England, is asquint-efd reflec tion on her majesty's title. But this is no squint-efd, but a £rect and plain reflection, not only upon her mtzjt-
fiy% HEREdITARy right; but also Upon the HEREDITART
, that is made upon the house of Hanover. And soI
for ought I know, made treason by that acl. I'm sure
I have.
O. Thou'rt a delicate sellow, to help a lame dcg over
wou'd'nt come so i ear it for the best como
the stile ! But there is one part of my instructions thou Jkast forgot. That to sind out some that speak infavour ef Perkin. Thou canst not charge Observator with that too
C. can charge him with keeping up the name of whom he means by Perkin, that we may not forget. There has not been word of him from his own party, if any such are left in England: They have been all bujh, fince her majesty accession to the throne, as if they were" well pleas V. At least they are modesty And the name of Perkin might have been dead among us by this time, but for the Observator, and some hypochondriac sinners, who dream of him all night, and rave upon him all the day and tell what other people may expect, when they ait so haunted him for they measure by their own bushel. And perhaps they may plead merit anothef;day, - as the
onlyfolks who kerit'hSs cause alive tho' Under the disguise of little railing, which does Hiiti ml harm'': They: haver done as strange things as these And what can contribute more to the interest of Perkin, than to assert, that there
no hereditary right, either in the queen, or in the fuc- tesfion of the house of Hanover, as this Observator has ma nifestly done And upon this head, he has flown in the face of the many loyal addresses to her majesty, congratu lating her hereditary right blood, and her happy ac cession to the throne of her ancestors. How many Tallards hast thou had for this, Nobbs
O. The deviss in thee. Thou'lt make me mad at last What not only turn the revolution upon me (of which
am the vindicator, by providence and my queen, and the succession of Hanover, but Perkin too Wou'd'st make me
) !
;'.
I
!
is
a
I
!
!
f
?
by !
?
by
! 's
a
is,
The REHEARS AL.
81
me a Perkinitc ? What a jest it wou'd be, to have me. after all, hangV for iPerkinite! Thou wou'd'st call itr quitting old scores ! and Hotham ! but I can never £zwr it- Tisfolly to talk on't!
C. Thy godfathers and agree about thatI But in plainness, master, by all that thou hast faid, thou must be either for Perkin or puss. And some think puss is the best way to bring in Pcrkin. As it did before. Eor the nation will never bear thy puss. It was try'd before. And
she scratch''d so devilishly, there was no en
And wishing her speedy accession, is as much treason as another. As the health about which the quarrel was at
comes
Chippenbam last Miehaelmas-dry Of which I told thee, Rehears. N. II. For thou know'st speedy accession to one, is speedy removal to another.
O. Well! if I
am born to be
often into my mind) I hope I shall have compary !
O. I cou'd not help it, man, if I shou'd be hang'd for't. ' I was put upon it. Thefaction has need ot me, present needs the parliament now beginning ; and who knows bat the occafional hill may come in again ? and the high- church get up upon us ! arirj'd with their victories this-
summer! There are notices to be given, and the word thro' the nation, upon every turn, as ore fi'm requires; may be new black lists, and so forth ! And oar people must be plyd with •warm deaths, at least three times a •week,. that they may not coot, but be ready upon zn hour & warn-- iag ! And what my neck, in comparison of all this gmi? The whole cause at stake! have s. gn'd cen-- tract ofsoul and body with legion, to pall down the church.
C. There one thing exceeding necessary, master,, that while thou hast taken upon thee the post of being
stickler between churches, and regulator of all, as well" ecclefiastical as civil affairs, thou shou'd'st fatisfy the world what religion thou thy self art of what church thou art
andwhatnot. , .
han£d (which
I of her. ring
C. Upon the whole, master, I think thou had'st as good have let alone thy thrice a week Observators, till- after thy trial ; for it is very provoking.
of,
.
;
a
I
a .
is
is'
is
a
REHEARSAL.
O. I have taken care of that, in the first volume of my Observators, N. 71. Dec. 26, 1 702. Wherein axe my Reste&ions on the shortest way with the dissenters, which I make to have been wrote by a clergyman ; and call it a villainous book. (The reason of which thou'lt sind in Re hearsal, N. 10. ) And pretend to answer it (but not since
the worthy author was discover d; and the sinest plot in
the world Jpoisd! ) where having laid load upon the
church of England as a bloody, persecuting church, and de
signing no less than a very massacre of all the dissenters: and coming to answer the barbarous treatment, and per
82 The
secution (indeed) of the church in Scotland, by the prefiyte- rians, since the revolution ; I make my conclufion against them both, and all churches whatsoever, as not worth any body's thoughIt, and fay thus to thee, Truly,
church; but 1 am an utter to moltst any enemy
cIountryman, my
shall priest -crast;
don't trouble head about, nor ever
and do believe, that put any clergyman in the coach-box,
and he will lash at any rate—There's my Ineighbour
fays, he's of no religion at all, and
lives at ease and quiet, free from cavils and contention. 1 think to lay it afide also, till allparties are agreed.
C. Thus thou instructed'st me, at that time ; and all
thou hast done fince, is exactly pursuant to it. In thy
Observator ot March 29, •I704. Vol. 3. N. 2. thou jnak'& knaves both of churchmen and dissenters, and fay'st,
officers in all religions may be knaves. But thou lay'st hea viest load upon the church, and mak'st these knave-officers to be church-men, all church-men, honest countryman (fay'st thou to me) true blue protestants ofthe church of England.
Then thou mak'st all the clergy to be knaves and rogues, not an honest or sober man to be found amongst them all. And fay'st, go ask doctor Ken net ; go ask the upper house of convocation. There you may hear
them at their old trade ^"Billingsgate, thou rogue, and' thou rogue. And thou told me before to lay afide ail religion, till all parties are agreed.
But art not thou and me, master, who have no religion, nor arc of any church 1 ■
O. Hold,
John vow the man
honest
The REHEARSAL.
83
O. Hold, man, thou mistak'st. We are ofall churches
and. of all religions.
C. That's what I faid, of no church, and of no reli
gion. It is the self fame thing, majler. Verily thefame ! for all cannot be true ; and one is oppofite to another.
Therefore there's no way of being ofall, but by being of none. That is, to be indifferent to all, and so oppo site to none. To carry occafional conformity about us to all, where either laiv, or civility, or any interest do's
oblige us. And there is no way so efsectual to destroy all, as by being of all, to shew, that there is no truth or importance in any of them. But I was going to fay, are men so qualify d sit arbitrators in matters of religion, and
of cburch-disputes ? as thou mak'st thy self, master. O. Yes, the most fit ; because most impartial!
aj
being concern d on none of their fides ! neither gainers nor
lofers, whoever gets the cause, whether Christ or Maho-
met-i the fincerity or infincerity of the gospel; true or false apostles Or ministry ; whether Aaron or Korah, or
the priesthood of Micah ; all is priest-crast! to which I have declar'd my self an utter enemy. And you know, put any clergyman in the coach box—It is our maxim,onX. of Dryden (which I heard quoted in an honourable assembly )
Priests of all religions are the same. And I'll tell thee, countryman, our no church, is per
haps a greater church, than any of their churches. Ours are all the whigs to a man! the deists, the beaus and de
bauchees, and the occafional-conformists. Nor do we want our quality ; our bishops and clergy ; and serjeants at law too, and writers for our church ! men of lARGE.
thoughts, comprehensive charity— —Sec.
From ^»at. Oct. 28, to ÆaCNov. 4, 1704. The\Observator's trial and desence this good day.
QbfJ ■
''HIS it the in which our valour day
Try our title to rebel be just. if
must
E6 Be*
N° 14.
king.
The OBSERVATORY
84
Besides, (as I take notice in my vindication Observator,
Oct. 26. N. 63. ) it is the birth-day of our late dear
Which I take for a good omen. I hope I may be forgiven for his fake. I am sure I served him fakh-- fully. And though I turned cat in /an to him, -and beflaved him too, when he was dead (as thou hast it in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. ) yet I hope he will consider, what a mortal fear we were in at that time, when we faw hereditary return again, in the person of & princess whom:
we bad disdainfully treated ; and some sought her life, to have brought her into a plot, and to have prevented her accession to the throne of her ancestors, as shewed in Rehears. N. 11. And measuring her by our selves, what is it w could have expected ? what reason had we to think of all that goodness and clemency we have met with, not only to be forgiven, but advanced, and put into places of the greatest honour and trust, equal, at least, to those who had always preserved an intire reve rence' and duty to her royal highness, and were not afraid, to express it ; when others thought it not safe ; and came not in till the eleventh hour, yet were made equal to- tbose who had born the burthen and beat of the day.
But above all, the interest of legion our God is con cerned in the fate of this day. For if I am c. ist, Eng- land is dispossessed of him, and he must be turned into the herd ofswine. His hijstng littleserpents will be mute,
if /his trumpeter general am filenced.
On the other hand, if / come off scot-free, then the
wordis given, and 1 proclaim it aloud, so many times a week, for full license to scandal ! and let none hereafter be asraid to attack the government and ministry, from top to bottom, in the plainest and most abusive manner j for none can exceed what /have done!
C. Come, master, let thee and me use the discipline- we have learned in the famous univerfity of Newgate;. where the criminals sit, and try one another; and thereI- By give a shrewd guess what will come of it. Then am judge, for this bout— —-Bring that rogue
vator to the bar.
3
the Obser 0. An't
TRTALand DEFEKCE,&c. %
J O. An't please your wor/hip, my good lord countryman' am humble I have
your
abuses in the naval and victualling office, and that is the
servant. discovered several
crime for which I
C. No, firrah, that is not the matter ; but thy man
stand here.
ner of doing it. In appealing to the mob, and endea vouring to enstame them all over the nation, and possess them against the government, in thy nafiy Observators. If thou had'st any thing to inform, or to accuse any body of, the law is open, and thou shoud'st have impleaded them before the proper judges. But to. throw thy scan dals, like fire-brands, all through the euition, must be only tospirit up the mob, for no good end to be sure ! what account can you give of that ?
O. The fame that I give in my Observator, Vol. 3. . N. 62. of \z&. 03ob. 24. The officers of the navy wear the nation's livery; and 1 hope those who pay taxes, may. take notice how they are spent. f
C. What do 'ft mean, Bays, by. the nation'^ livery do's the nation wear a livery?
O. Thou improves very dully under all my instruc tions, thou rehearser ; thou never minds the plot of the play ! dos'nt remember how in all my Observators, from
top to bottom, I always
stile of calling every tiling the peoples, as the people's laws, the people's kinc,. &c. that is, all made by the people; and so accountable to-
use this
the peoples and if the&wg-is so, much more are his live
ries and his badges, worn by whomsoever ? therefore I fay,
that the admiralty and iwz^ office, and so all the offices and
officers in the nation (which word I always use instead of
kingdom, I hate that word f) do ourar the sai ion's /z-
ver*, not the king's. And consequently are the nati on's, that is, the people's, that the mob's, that is,
countryman, thine and my officers, soldiers, Sec. wear ing our livery, and accountable to us boys even she king or queen her self! she WOwears our. livery her fivord*
scepter, and crown, her robes red and blue; herspurs^. and all her trinkets, are our liverie; she hersels
Ovas! in this sense that repeat often the no blest
it is,
I
is,
so !
!
!
is
36 The
OBSERVATOR's
blest title I give her of my queen, and my queen ! as teaching her, how much^f is asubject to me ! for who made her queen of me ? even me my self! and you know, who makes, can unmake ! the inherent and radical pow
er is stiIll in me ! for, as our oracle
alone am me. king ef
fays,
'
This kingdom of me is situated in what they call terra au- stralis incognita ; and is the only place in the world,
where men were
Born free, as nature strst made man,
Ere the base laws ofservitude began, When wild in woods the noble savage ran.
From this Utopia we have taken all our schemes ofgo vernment ever since ! this is true liberty and property, to- reduce all to the noble savage again ! to make mob the
•
supreme, and kings and qjeens to worship us, and wear oUr liveries!
C. I did not know what sine foot-men, and foot-women
Ihad before! then my queen, is my waiting-maid, is she not ? and Imay send her ofan errand, to sill me a
dish of october, or to clean my /hoes, if I judge it for the good of the kingdom of me! otherwise, I may turn her out of doors, and get some other good-woman for my
house-keeper ! Is not all this right, master ?
O. Most certainly and apparently. CONSEQUENTIAl to all our principles. Nay, not only to turn our king or queen to the door, but to cut them in pieces, and drag them about the
if we I streets, judge them guilty of what
we please to call treason against us their masters! As have asserted in my Observator, Vol. 2 N. 22. and in
many others. It is the tbeam
I preach
upon. This is
the conclufion of every argument I bring. The depofing doctrine is my text. I maintain it openly, and in express
terms. And I turn the revolution upon thatfoot (contra
ry to the declaration of the convention] that under the shadow of that, I may speak treason my belly full.
C. But who is it has this authority to tall kings to account,
TR YAL and DEFENCE, &c.
87 account, to examine into their administration, and pass
sentence upon them, to cut them in pieces, drag them about the streets, &c ? Is it the mob, the people, every one that pleases, thee or me, master? Or is it only the peo
ple when represented in contention or parliament ?
0. It is thee and me and every bodv
it is
we
!
that are the original of parliaments, as well as of kings. The of commons call themselves our representatives.
As I fay (Vol. 2. N. 79. ) / £ave now two members in the house of commons, representing my person. Arn't we brave sellows, countryman ! and we have exercised our authority to the full over this present house of commons, in our legion million papers, wherein we call them down right rogues and villains, and betrayers of their trust to
us. Andin-my Observators I pay them off plentifully. Aud fay, Vol. 2. N. 99. that I don't mean them at St. Stephen, in my list of knaves, nor the bench, nor the church ! when the Observator but one before, N. 97. I put all the present judges into my lift, and Vol. 3. N. 2. The »/^>cr house of convocation, as well as the inse rior clergy. And those at St. Stephen no more than these!
In Vol. 2. N. 79, 1 call a book of Sir Humphrey Mack- wortVi an appeal to the people ; and inser, that any one , of the people may shew his like or diflike of that appeal :
So that it is every one of the people that is appealed to. And every one may give his sentence, and censure what ■ ever action of the government, that I bring before him,, in my appeals of Observators, and all the rest of our
scandalous club.
But I have told thee plainly to whom appeals may be
made, and who have right to examine into the admini stration of the government, even «// that pay taxes, as before quoted in my Observator, preparatory to my trial, Vol. 3. N. 62. ^»i/ /Ao/e (fay I) those who pay
taxes, may take notice how they are spent.
C. Now thou talk'st of trial, I have forgot my self all
this while; I have been talking with thee at the old
rate, as thy simple I countryman. I forgot my post at this
OBSERVATORY
this time, that I am now thy judge therefore must put on authority, and deal with thee like a foul criminal, as thou art. I'll teach thee now another sort of doctrine. Thou fay'st, that all that pay taxes may take notice how they arespent. Who are they that pay taxes ? come, tell me
88 The
quickly.
'O. Your lordjbip
knows as well as me, Every man, toilman, and child in the nation, both ali•ue and dead;
for we are tax'd for thestrst and last breath that we-
draw ; because it is by our own consent: Which makes
us free-born, beyond any other people !
. C. That is, we are born free to pay taxes ! call's! thou
this free-horn ? thou ought'st to be hang'd for a dunce, as well as a knave. Do children in the womb give their
vote to be tax'd as soon as they are born?
O. If they like not the conditions of our government,
they may stay where they are, and not come into it ! or go and be born in some other country, where they like the constitution better. But good your lord/hip, I have - something else to fay, they are concluded by their refrtfen- tatives in parliament.
C. Did they vote for such representatives?
O. As much, as much as the major number of the gronun people, who have no vote in elections. And why may
not a child have a representative, as well as a man who . never votes for any ?
C. Ma s s ! the rogue has puzzesd me ; he's book-learn'd! and now I sind, that the people of England are no more
than the children that are yet unborn ! but why then do we call the Æoa/i of commons the representa tives of the people?
O. Why ? are not those who have votes dispeople ? . that is, Apart of the people! and it is a common figure to put a£tfr/ for the whole. And so,- though they ar»- not half, noi half the half of the people; yet, by our
represented,
figure oispeaking, they are thepeople t
C.
