But--
"Behind a frowning Providence there was a smiling face,"
which soon shed beams of light upon unworthy me.
"Behind a frowning Providence there was a smiling face,"
which soon shed beams of light upon unworthy me.
Narrative of the Life and Adventures of Henry Bibb, an American Slave, Written
But in spite of myself, before
I was aware of it, I was deeply in love; and what made this passion so
effectual and almost irresistable, I became satisfied that it was
reciprocal. There was a union of feeling, and every visit made the
impression stronger and stronger. One or two other young men were
paying attention to Malinda, at the same time; one of whom her mother
was anxious to have her marry. This of course gave me a fair
opportunity of testing Malinda's sincerity. I had just about
opposition enough to make the subject interesting. That Malinda loved
me above all others on earth, no one could deny. I could read it by
the warm reception with which the dear girl always met me, and treated
me in her mother's house. I could read it by the warm and affectionate
shake of the hand, and gentle smile upon her lovely cheek. I could
read it by her always giving me the preference of her company; by her
pressing invitations to visit even in opposition to her mother's will.
I could read it in the language of her bright and sparkling eye,
penciled by the unchangable finger of nature, that spake but could not
lie. These strong temptations gradually diverted my attention from my
actual condition and from liberty, though not entirely.
But oh! that I had only then been enabled to have seen as I do now, or
to have read the following slave code, which is but a stereotyped law
of American slavery. It would have saved me I think from having to
lament that I was a husband and am the father of slaves who are still
left to linger out their days in hopeless bondage. The laws of
Kentucky, my native State, with Maryland and Virginia, which are said
to be the mildest slave States in the Union, noted for their humanity,
Christianity and democracy, declare that "Any slave, for rambling in
the night, or riding horseback without leave, or running away, may be
punished by whipping, cropping and branding in the cheek, or
otherwise, not rendering him unfit for labor. " "Any slave convicted of
petty larceny, murder, or wilfully burning of dwelling houses, may be
sentenced to have his right hand cut off; to be hanged in the usual
manner, or the head severed from the body, the body divided into four
quarters, and head and quarters stuck up in the most public place in
the county, where such act was committed. "
At the time I joined my wife in holy wedlock, I was ignorant of these
ungodly laws; I knew not that I was propogating victims for this kind
of torture and cruelty. Malinda's mother was free, and lived in
Bedford, about a quarter of a mile from her daughter; and we often met
and passed off the time pleasantly. Agreeable to promise, on one
Saturday evening, I called to see Malinda, at her mother's residence,
with an intention of letting her know my mind upon the subject of
marriage. It was a very bright moonlight night; the dear girl was
standing in the door, anxiously waiting my arrival. As I approached
the door she caught my hand with an affectionate smile, and bid me
welcome to her mother's fire-side. After having broached the subject
of marriage, I informed her of the difficulties which I conceived to
be in the way of our marriage, and that I could never engage myself to
marry any girl only on certain conditions; near as I can recollect the
substance of our conversation upon the subject, it was, that I was
religiously inclined; that I intended to try to comply with the
requisitions of the gospel, both theoretically and practically through
life. Also that I was decided on becoming a freeman before I died; and
that I expected to get free by running away, and going to Canada,
under the British Government. Agreement on those two cardinal
questions I made my test for marriage.
I said, "I never will give my heart nor hand to any girl in marriage,
until I first know her sentiments upon the all-important subjects of
Religion and Liberty. No matter how well I might love her nor how
great the sacrifice in carrying out these God-given principles. And I
here pledge myself from this course never to be shaken while a single
pulsation of my heart shall continue to throb for Liberty. " With this
idea Malinda appeared to be well pleased, and with a smile she looked
me in the face and said, "I have long entertained the same views, and
this has been one of the greatest reasons why I have not felt inclined
to enter the married state while a slave; I have always felt a desire
to be free; I have long cherished a hope that I should yet be free,
either by purchase or running away. In regard to the subject of
Religion, I have always felt that it was a good thing, and something
that I would seek for at some future period. " After I found that
Malinda was right upon these all important questions, and that she
truly loved me well enough to make me an affectionate wife, I made
proposals for marriage. She very modestly declined answering the
question then, considering it to be one of a grave character, and
upon which our future destiny greatly depended. And notwithstanding
she confessed that I had her entire affections, she must have some
time to consider the matter. To this I of course consented, and was to
meet her on the next Saturday night to decide the question. But for
some cause I failed to come, and the next week she sent for me, and on
the Sunday evening following I called on her again; she welcomed me
with all the kindness of an affectionate lover, and seated me by her
side. We soon broached the old subject of marriage, and entered upon a
conditional contract of matrimony, viz: that we would marry if our
minds should not change within one year; that after marriage we would
change our former course and live a pious life; and that we would
embrace the earliest opportunity of running away to Canada for our
liberty. Clasping each other by the hand, pledging our sacred honor
that we would be true, we called on high heaven to witness the
rectitude of our purpose. There was nothing that could be more binding
upon us as slaves than this; for marriage among American slaves, is
disregarded by the laws of this country. It is counted a mere
temporary matter; it is a union which may be continued or broken off,
with or without the consent of a slaveholder, whether he is a priest
or a libertine.
There is no legal marriage among the slaves of the South; I never saw
nor heard of such a thing in my life, and I have been through seven of
the slave states. A slave marrying according to law, is a thing
unknown in the history of American Slavery. And be it known to the
disgrace of our country that every slaveholder, who is the keeper of a
number of slaves of both sexes, is also the keeper of a house or
houses of ill-fame. Licentious white men, can and do, enter at night
or day the lodging places of slaves; break up the bonds of affection
in families; destroy all their domestic and social union for life; and
the laws of the country afford them no protection. Will any man count,
if they can be counted, the churches of Maryland, Kentucky, and
Virginia, which have slaves connected with them, living in an open
state of adultery, never having been married according to the laws of
the State, and yet regular members of these various denominations, but
more especially the Baptist and Methodist churches? And I hazard
nothing in saying, that this state of things exists to a very wide
extent in the above states.
I am happy to state that many fugitive slaves, who have been enabled
by the aid of an over-ruling providence to escape to the free North
with those whom they claim as their wives, notwithstanding all their
ignorance and superstition, are not at all disposed to live together
like brutes, as they have been compelled to do in slaveholding
Churches. But as soon as they get free from slavery they go before
some anti-slavery clergyman, and have the solemn ceremony of marriage
performed according to the laws of the country. And if they profess
religion, and have been baptized by a slaveholding minister, they
repudiate it after becoming free, and are re-baptized by a man who is
worthy of doing it according to the gospel rule.
The time and place of my marriage, I consider one of the most trying
of my life. I was opposed by friends and foes; my mother opposed me
because she thought I was too young, and marrying she thought would
involve me in trouble and difficulty. My mother-in-law opposed me,
because she wanted her daughter to marry a slave who belonged to a
very rich man living near by, and who was well known to be the son of
his master. She thought no doubt that his master or father might
chance to set him free before he died, which would enable him to do a
better part by her daughter than I could! and there was no prospect
then of my ever being free. But his master has neither died nor yet
set his son free, who is now about forty years of age, toiling under
the lash, waiting and hoping that his master may die and will him to
be free.
The young men were opposed to our marriage for the same reason that
Paddy opposed a match when the clergyman was about to pronounce the
marriage ceremony of a young couple. He said "if there be any present
who have any objections to this couple being joined together in holy
wedlock, let them speak now, or hold their peace henceforth. " At this
time Paddy sprang to his feet and said, "Sir, I object to this. " Every
eye was fixed upon him. "What is your objection? " said the clergyman.
"Faith," replied Paddy, "Sir I want her myself. "
The man to whom I belonged was opposed, because he feared my taking
off from his farm some of the fruits of my own labor for Malinda to
eat, in the shape of pigs, chickens, or turkeys, and would count it
not robbery. So we formed a resolution, that if we were prevented from
joining in wedlock, that we would run away, and strike for Canada, let
the consequences be what they might. But we had one consolation;
Malinda's master was very much in favor of the match, but entirely
upon selfish principles. When I went to ask his permission to marry
Malinda, his answer was in the affirmative with but one condition
which I consider to be too vulgar to be written in this book. Our
marriage took place one night during the Christmas holydays; at which
time we had quite a festival given us. All appeared to be wide awake,
and we had quite a jolly time at my wedding party. And notwithstanding
our marriage was without license or sanction of law, we believed it to
be honorable before God, and the bed undefiled. Our Christmas holydays
were spent in matrimonial visiting among our friends, while it should
have been spent in running away to Canada, for our liberty. But
freedom was little thought of by us, for several months after
marriage. I often look back to that period even now as one of the most
happy seasons of my life; notwithstanding all the contaminating and
heart-rendering features with which the horrid system of slavery is
marked, and must carry with it to its final grave, yet I still look
back to that season with sweet remembrance and pleasure, that yet hath
power to charm and drive back dull cares which have been accumulated
by a thousand painful recollections of slavery. Malinda was to me an
affectionate wife. She was with me in the darkest hours of adversity.
She was with me in sorrow, and joy, in fasting and feasting, in trial
and persecution, in sickness and health, in sunshine and in shade.
Some months after our marriage, the unfeeling master to whom I
belonged, sold his farm with the view of moving his slaves to the
State of Missouri, regardless of the separation of husbands and wives
forever; but for fear of my resuming my old practice of running away,
if he should have forced me to leave my wife, by my repeated requests,
he was constrained to sell me to his brother, who lived within seven
miles of Wm. Gatewood, who then held Malinda as his property. I was
permitted to visit her only on Saturday nights, after my work was
done, and I had to be at home before sunrise on Monday mornings or
take a flogging. He proved to be so oppressive, and so unreasonable in
punishing his victims, that I soon found that I should have to run
away in self-defence. But he soon began to take the hint, and sold me
to Wm. Gatewood the owner of Malinda. With my new residence I confess
that I was much dissatisfied. Not that Gatewood was a more cruel
master than my former owner--not that I was opposed to living with
Malinda, who was then the centre and object of my affections--but to
live where I must be eye witness to her insults, scourgings and
abuses, such as are common to be inflicted upon slaves, was more than
I could bear. If my wife must be exposed to the insults and licentious
passions of wicked slavedrivers and overseers; if she must bear the
stripes of the lash laid on by an unmerciful tyrant; if this is to be
done with impunity, which is frequently done by slaveholders and their
abettors, Heaven forbid that I should be compelled to witness the
sight.
Not many months after I took up my residence on Wm. Gatewood's
plantation, Malinda made me a father. The dear little daughter was
called Mary Frances. She was nurtured and caressed by her mother and
father, until she was large enough to creep over the floor after her
parents, and climb up by a chair before I felt it to be my duty to
leave my family and go into a foreign country for a season. Malinda's
business was to labor out in the field the greater part of her time,
and there was no one to take care of poor little Frances, while her
mother was toiling in the field. She was left at the house to creep
under the feet of an unmerciful old mistress, whom I have known to
slap with her hand the face of little Frances, for crying after her
mother, until her little face was left black and blue. I recollect
that Malinda and myself came from the field one summer's day at noon,
and poor little Frances came creeping to her mother smiling, but with
large tear drops standing in her dear little eyes, sobbing and trying
to tell her mother that she had been abused, but was not able to utter
a word. Her little face was bruised black with the whole print of Mrs.
Gatewood's hand. This print was plainly to be seen for eight days
after it was done. But oh! this darling child was a slave; born of a
slave mother. Who can imagine what could be the feelings of a father
and mother, when looking upon their infant child whipped and tortured
with impunity, and they placed in a situation where they could afford
it no protection. But we were all claimed and held as property; the
father and mother were slaves!
On this same plantation I was compelled to stand and see my wife
shamefully scourged and abused by her master; and the manner in which
this was done, was so violently and inhumanly committed upon the
person of a female, that I despair in finding decent language to
describe the bloody act of cruelty. My happiness or pleasure was then
all blasted; for it was sometimes a pleasure to be with my little
family even in slavery. I loved them as my wife and child. Little
Frances was a pretty child; she was quiet, playful, bright, and
interesting. She had a keen black eye, and the very image of her
mother was stamped upon her cheek; but I could never look upon the
dear child without being filled with sorrow and fearful apprehensions,
of being separated by slaveholders, because she was a slave, regarded
as property. And unfortunately for me, I am the father of a slave, a
word too obnoxious to be spoken by a fugitive slave. It calls fresh to
my mind the separation of husband and wife; of stripping, tying up and
flogging; of tearing children from their parents, and selling them on
the auction block. It calls to mind female virtue trampled under foot
with impunity. But oh! when I remember that my daughter, my only
child, is still there, destined to share the fate of all these
calamities, it is too much to bear. If ever there was any one act of
my life while a slave, that I have to lament over, it is that of being
a father and a husband of slaves. I have the satisfaction of knowing
that I am only the father of one slave. She is bone of my bone, and
flesh of my flesh; poor unfortunate child. She was the first and shall
be the last slave that ever I will father, for chains and slavery on
this earth.
FOOTNOTES:
[2] The distinction among slaves is as marked, as the classes of
society are in any aristocratic community. Some refusing to associate
with others whom they deem beneath them in point of character, color,
condition, or the superior importance of their respective masters.
CHAPTER IV.
_My first adventure for liberty. --Parting Scene. --Journey up the
river. --Safe arrival in Cincinnati. --Journey to Canada. --Suffering
from cold and hunger. --Denied food and shelter by some. --One noble
exception. --Subsequent success. --Arrival at Perrysburgh. --I obtained
employment through the winter. --My return to Kentucky to get my
family. _
In the fall or winter of 1837 I formed a resolution that I would
escape, if possible, to Canada, for my Liberty. I commenced from that
hour making preparations for the dangerous experiment of breaking the
chains that bound me as a slave. My preparation for this voyage
consisted in the accumulation of a little money, perhaps not exceeding
two dollars and fifty cents, and a suit which I had never been seen or
known to wear before; this last was to avoid detection.
On the twenty-fifth of December, 1837, my long anticipated time had
arrived when I was to put into operation my former resolution, which
was to bolt for Liberty or consent to die a Slave. I acted upon the
former, although I confess it to be one of the most self-denying acts
of my whole life, to take leave of an affectionate wife, who stood
before me on my departure, with dear little Frances in her arms, and
with tears of sorrow in her eyes as she bid me a long farewell. It
required all the moral courage that I was master of to suppress my
feelings while taking leave of my little family.
Had Malinda known my intention at that time, it would not have been
possible for me to have got away, and I might have this day been a
slave. Notwithstanding every inducement was held out to me to run away
if I would be free, and the voice of liberty was thundering in my very
soul, "Be free, oh, man! be free," I was struggling against a thousand
obstacles which had clustered around my mind to bind my wounded spirit
still in the dark prison of mental degradation. My strong attachments
to friends and relatives, with all the love of home and birth-place
which is so natural among the human family, twined about my heart and
were hard to break away from. And withal, the fear of being pursued
with guns and blood-hounds, and of being killed, or captured and
taken to the extreme South, to linger out my days in hopeless bondage
on some cotton or sugar plantation, all combined to deter me. But I
had counted the cost, and was fully prepared to make the sacrifice.
The time for fulfilling my pledge was then at hand. I must forsake
friends and neighbors, wife and child, or consent to live and die a
slave.
By the permission of my keeper, I started out to work for myself on
Christmas. I went to the Ohio River, which was but a short distance
from Bedford. My excuse for wanting to go there was to get work. High
wages were offered for hands to work in a slaughter-house. But in
place of my going to work there, according to promise, when I arrived
at the river I managed to find a conveyance to cross over into a free
state. I was landed in the village of Madison, Indiana, where
steamboats were landing every day and night, passing up and down the
river, which afforded me a good opportunity of getting a boat passage
to Cincinnati. My anticipation being worked up to the highest pitch,
no sooner was the curtain of night dropped over the village, than I
secreted myself where no one could see me, and changed my suit ready
for the passage. Soon I heard the welcome sound of a Steamboat coming
up the river Ohio, which was soon to waft me beyond the limits of the
human slave markets of Kentucky. When the boat had landed at Madison,
notwithstanding my strong desire to get off, my heart trembled within
me in view of the great danger to which I was exposed in taking
passage on board of a Southern Steamboat; hence before I took passage,
I kneeled down before the Great I Am, and prayed for his aid and
protection, which He bountifully bestowed even beyond my expectation;
for I felt myself to be unworthy. I then stept boldly on the deck of
this splendid swift-running Steamer, bound for the city of Cincinnati.
This being the first voyage that I had ever taken on board of a
Steamboat, I was filled with fear and excitement, knowing that I was
surrounded by the vilest enemies of God and man, liable to be seized
and bound hand and foot, by any white man, and taken back into
captivity. But I crowded myself back from the light among the deck
passengers, where it would be difficult to distinguish me from a white
man. Every time during the night that the mate came round with a
light after the hands, I was afraid he would see I was a colored man,
and take me up; hence I kept from the light as much as possible. Some
men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil; but
this was not the case with myself; it was to avoid detection in doing
right. This was one of the instances of my adventures that my affinity
with the Anglo-Saxon race, and even slaveholders, worked well for my
escape. But no thanks to them for it. While in their midst they have
not only robbed me of my labor and liberty, but they have almost
entirely robbed me of my dark complexion. Being so near the color of a
slaveholder, they could not, or did not find me out that night among
the white passengers. There was one of the deck hands on board called
out on his watch, whose hammock was swinging up near by me. I asked
him if he would let me lie in it. He said if I would pay him
twenty-five cents that I might lie in it until day. I readily paid him
the price and got into the hammock. No one could see my face to know
whether I was white or colored, while I was in the hammock; but I
never closed my eyes for sleep that night. I had often heard of
explosions on board of Steamboats; and every time the boat landed, and
blowed off steam, I was afraid the boilers had bursted and we should
all be killed; but I lived through the night amid the many dangers to
which I was exposed. I still maintained my position in the hammock,
until the next morning about 8 o'clock, when I heard the passengers
saying the boat was near Cincinnati; and by this time I supposed that
the attention of the people would be turned to the city, and I might
pass off unnoticed.
There were no questions asked me while on board the boat. The boat
landed about 9 o'clock in the morning in Cincinnati, and I waited
until after most of the passengers had gone off of the boat; I then
walked as gracefully up street as if I was not running away, until I
had got pretty well up Broadway. My object was to go to Canada, but
having no knowledge of the road, it was necessary for me to make some
inquiry before I left the city. I was afraid to ask a white person,
and I could see no colored person to ask. But fortunately for me I
found a company of little boys at play in the street, and through
these little boys, by asking them indirect questions, I found the
residence of a colored man.
"Boys, can you tell me where that old colored man lives who saws wood,
and works at jobs around the streets? "
"What is his name? " said one of the boys.
"I forget. "
"Is it old Job Dundy? "
"Is Dundy a colored man? "
"Yes, sir. "
"That is the very man I am looking for; will you show me where he
lives? "
"Yes," said the little boy, and pointed me out the house.
Mr. D. invited me in, and I found him to be a true friend. He asked me
if I was a slave from Kentucky, and if I ever intended to go back into
slavery? Not knowing yet whether he was truly in favor of slaves
running away, I told him that I had just come over to spend my
christmas holydays, and that I was going back. His reply was, "my son,
I would never go back if I was in your place; you have a right to your
liberty. " I then asked him how I should get my freedom? He referred me
to Canada, over which waved freedom's flag, defended by the British
Government, upon whose soil there cannot be the foot print of a slave.
He then commenced telling me of the facilities for my escape to
Canada; of the Abolitionists; of the Abolition Societies, and of their
fidelity to the cause of suffering humanity. This was the first time
in my life that ever I had heard of such people being in existence as
the Abolitionists. I supposed that they were a different race of
people. He conducted me to the house of one of these warm-hearted
friends of God and the slave. I found him willing to aid a poor
fugitive on his way to Canada, even to the dividing of the last cent,
or morsel of bread if necessary.
These kind friends gave me something to eat and started me on my way
to Canada, with a recommendation to a friend on my way. This was the
commencement of what was called the under ground rail road to Canada.
I walked with bold courage, trusting in the arm of Omnipotence; guided
by the unchangable North Star by night, and inspired by an elevated
thought that I was fleeing from a land of slavery and oppression,
bidding farewell to handcuffs, whips, thumb-screws and chains.
I travelled on until I had arrived at the place where I was directed
to call on an Abolitionist, but I made no stop: so great were my fears
of being pursued by the pro-slavery hunting dogs of the South. I
prosecuted my journey vigorously for nearly forty-eight hours without
food or rest, struggling against external difficulties such as no one
can imagine who has never experienced the same: not knowing what
moment I might be captured while travelling among strangers, through
cold and fear, breasting the north winds, being thinly clad, pelted by
the snow storms through the dark hours of the night and not a house in
which I could enter to shelter me from the storm.
The second night from Cincinnati, about midnight, I thought that I
should freeze; my shoes were worn through, and my feet were exposed to
the bare ground. I approached a house on the road-side, knocked at the
door, and asked admission to their fire, but was refused. I went to
the next house, and was refused the privilege of their fire-side, to
prevent my freezing. This I thought was hard treatment among the human
family.
But--
"Behind a frowning Providence there was a smiling face,"
which soon shed beams of light upon unworthy me.
The next morning I was still found struggling on my way faint, hungry,
lame, and rest-broken. I could see people taking breakfast from the
road-side, but I did not dare to enter their houses to get my
breakfast, for neither love nor money. In passing a low cottage, I saw
the breakfast table spread with all its bounties, and I could see no
male person about the house; the temptation for food was greater than
I could resist.
I saw a lady about the table, and I thought that if she was ever so
much disposed to take me up, that she would have to catch and hold me,
and that would have been impossible. I stepped up to the door with my
hat off, and asked her if she would be good enough to sell me a
sixpence worth of bread and meat. She cut off a piece and brought it
to me; I thanked her for it, and handed her the pay, but instead of
receiving it, she burst into tears, and said "never mind the money,"
but gently turned away bidding me go on my journey. This was
altogether unexpected to me: I had found a friend in the time of need
among strangers, and nothing could be more cheering in the day of
trouble than this. When I left that place I started with bolder
courage. The next night I put up at a tavern, and continued stopping
at public houses until my means were about gone. When I got to the
Black Swamp in the county of Wood, Ohio, I stopped one night at a
hotel, after travelling all day through mud and snow; but I soon found
that I should not be able to pay my bill. This was about the time that
the "wild-cat banks" were in a flourishing state, and "shin
plasters"[3] in abundance; they would charge a dollar for one night's
lodging.
After I had found out this, I slipped out of the bar room into the
kitchen where the landlady was getting supper; as she had quite a
number of travellers to cook for that night, I told her if she would
accept my services, I would assist her in getting supper; that I was a
cook. She very readily accepted the offer, and I went to work.
She was very much pleased with my work, and the next morning I helped
her to get breakfast. She then wanted to hire me for all winter, but I
refused for fear I might be pursued. My excuse to her was that I had a
brother living in Detroit, whom I was going to see on some important
business, and after I got that business attended to, I would come back
and work for them all winter.
When I started the second morning they paid me fifty cents beside my
board, with the understanding that I was to return; but I have not
gone back yet.
I arrived the next morning in the village of Perrysburgh, where I
found quite a settlement of colored people, many of whom were fugitive
slaves. I made my case known to them and they sympathized with me. I
was a stranger, and they took me in and persuaded me to spend the
winter in Perrysburgh, where I could get employment and go to Canada
the next spring, in a steamboat which run from Perrysburgh, if I
thought it proper so to do.
I got a job of chopping wood during that winter which enabled me to
purchase myself a suit, and after paying my board the next spring, I
had saved fifteen dollars in cash. My intention was to go back to
Kentucky after my wife.
When I got ready to start, which was about the first of May, my
friends all persuaded me not to go, but to get some other person to
go, for fear I might be caught and sold off from my family into
slavery forever. But I could not refrain from going back myself,
believing that I could accomplish it better than a stranger.
The money that I had would not pass in the South, and for the purpose
of getting it off to a good advantage, I took a steamboat passage to
Detroit, Michigan, and there I spent all my money for dry goods, to
peddle out on my way back through the State of Ohio. I also purchased
myself a pair of false whiskers to put on when I got back to Kentucky,
to prevent any one from knowing me after night, should they see me. I
then started back after my little family.
FOOTNOTES:
[3] Nickname for temporary paper money.
CHAPTER V.
_My safe arrival at Kentucky. --Surprise and delight to find my
family. --Plan for their escape projected. --Return to Cincinnati. --My
betrayal by traitors. --Imprisonment in Covington, Kentucky. --Return to
slavery. --Infamous proposal of the slave catchers. --My reply. _
I succeeded very well in selling out my goods, and when I arrived in
Cincinnati, I called on some of my friends who had aided me on my
first escape. They also opposed me in going back only for my own good.
But it has ever been characteristic of me to persevere in what I
undertake.
I took a Steamboat passage which would bring me to where I should want
to land about dark, so as to give me a chance to find my family during
the night if possible. The boat landed me at the proper place, and at
the proper time accordingly. This landing was about six miles from
Bedford, where my mother and wife lived, but with different families.
My mother was the cook at a tavern, in Bedford. When I approached the
house where mother was living, I remembered where she slept in the
kitchen; her bed was near the window.
It was a bright moonlight night, and in looking through the kitchen
window, I saw a person lying in bed about where my mother had formerly
slept. I rapped on the glass which awakened the person, in whom I
recognised my dear mother, but she knew me not, as I was dressed in
disguise with my false whiskers on; but she came to the window and
asked who I was and what I wanted. But when I took off my false
whiskers, and spoke to her, she knew my voice, and quickly sprang to
the door, clasping my hand, exclaiming, "Oh! is this my son," drawing
me into the room, where I was so fortunate as to find Malinda, and
little Frances, my wife and child, whom I had left to find the fair
climes of liberty, and whom I was then seeking to rescue from
perpetual slavery.
They never expected to see me again in this life. I am entirely unable
to describe what my feelings were at that time. It was almost like the
return of the prodigal son. There was weeping and rejoicing. They were
filled with surprise and fear; with sadness and joy. The sensation of
joy at that moment flashed like lightning over my afflicted mind,
mingled with a thousand dreadful apprehensions, that none but a heart
wounded slave father and husband like myself can possibly imagine.
After talking the matter over, we decided it was not best to start
with my family that night, as it was very uncertain whether we should
get a boat passage immediately. And in case of failure, if Malinda
should get back even before day-light the next morning, it would have
excited suspicion against her, as it was not customary for slaves to
leave home at that stage of the week without permission. Hence we
thought it would be the most effectual way for her to escape, to start
on Saturday night; this being a night on which the slaves of Kentucky
are permitted to visit around among their friends, and are often
allowed to stay until the afternoon on Sabbath day.
I gave Malinda money to pay her passage on board of a Steamboat to
Cincinnati, as it was not safe for me to wait for her until Saturday
night; but she was to meet me in Cincinnati, if possible, the next
Sunday. Her father was to go with her to the Ohio River on Saturday
night, and if a boat passed up during the night she was to get on
board at Madison, and come to Cincinnati. If she should fail in
getting off that night, she was to try it the next Saturday night.
This was the understanding when we separated. This we thought was the
best plan for her escape, as there had been so much excitement caused
by my running away.
The owners of my wife were very much afraid that she would follow me;
and to prevent her they had told her and other slaves that I had been
persuaded off by the Abolitionists, who had promised to set me free,
but had sold me off to New Orleans. They told the slaves to beware of
the abolitionists, that their object was to decoy off slaves and then
sell them off in New Orleans. Some of them believed this, and others
believed it not; and the owners of my wife were more watchful over her
than they had ever been before as she was unbelieving.
This was in the month of June, 1838. I left Malinda on a bright but
lonesome Wednesday night. When I arrived at the river Ohio, I found a
small craft chained to a tree, in which I ferried myself across the
stream.
I succeeded in getting a Steamboat passage back to Cincinnati, where I
put up with one of my abolition friends who knew that I had gone after
my family, and who appeared to be much surprised to see me again. I
was soon visited by several friends who knew of my having gone back
after my family. They wished to know why I had not brought my family
with me; but after they understood the plan, and that my family was
expected to be in Cincinnati within a few days, they thought it the
best and safest plan for us to take a stage passage out to Lake Erie.
But being short of money, I was not able to pay my passage in the
stage, even if it would have prevented me from being caught by the
slave hunters of Cincinnati, or save me from being taken back into
bondage for life.
These friends proposed helping me by subscription; I accepted their
kind offer, but in going among friends to solicit aid for me, they
happened to get among traitors, and kidnappers, both white and colored
men, who made their living by that kind of business. Several persons
called on me and made me small donations, and among them two white men
came in professing to be my friends. They told me not to be afraid of
them, they were abolitionists. They asked me a great many questions.
They wanted to know if I needed any help? and they wanted to know if
it could be possible that a man so near white as myself could be a
slave? Could it be possible that men would make slaves of their own
children? They expressed great sympathy for me, and gave me fifty
cents each; by this they gained my confidence. They asked my master's
name; where he lived, &c. After which they left the room, bidding me
God speed. These traitors, or land pirates, took passage on board of
the first Steamboat down the river, in search of my owners. When they
found them, they got a reward of three hundred dollars offered for the
re-capture of this "stray" which they had so long and faithfully been
hunting, by day and by night, by land and by water, with dogs and with
guns, but all without success. This being the last and only chance for
dragging me back into hopeless bondage, time and money was no object
when they saw a prospect of my being re-taken.
Mr. Gatewood got two of his slaveholding neighbors to go with him to
Cincinnati, for the purpose of swearing to anything which might be
necessary to change me back into property. They came on to Cincinnati,
and with but little effort they soon rallied a mob of ruffians who
were willing to become the watch-dogs of slaveholders, for a dram, in
connection with a few slavehunting petty constables.
While I was waiting the arrival of my family, I got a job of digging a
cellar for the good lady where I was stopping, and while I was digging
under the house, all at once I heard a man enter the house; another
stept up to the cellar door to where I was at work; he looked in and
saw me with my coat off at work. He then rapped over the cellar door
on the house side, to notify the one who had entered the house to look
for me that I was in the cellar. This strange conduct soon excited
suspicion so strong in me, that I could not stay in the cellar and
started to come out, but the man who stood by the door, rapped again
on the house side, for the other to come to his aid, and told me to
stop. I attempted to pass out by him, and he caught hold of me, and
drew a pistol, swearing if I did not stop he would shoot me down. By
this time I knew that I was betrayed.
I asked him what crime I had committed that I should be murdered.
"I will let you know, very soon," said he.
By this time there were others coming to his aid, and I could see no
way by which I could possibly escape the jaws of that hell upon earth.
All my flattering prospects of enjoying my own fire-side, with my
little family, were then blasted and gone; and I must bid farewell to
friends and freedom forever.
In vain did I look to the infamous laws of the Commonwealth of Ohio,
for that protection against violence and outrage, that even the vilest
criminal with a white skin might enjoy. But oh! the dreadful thought,
that after all my sacrifice and struggling to rescue my family from
the hands of the oppressor; that I should be dragged back into cruel
bondage to suffer the penalty of a tyrant's law, to endure stripes and
imprisonment, and to be shut out from all moral as well as
intellectual improvement, and linger out almost a living death.
When I saw a crowd of blood-thirsty, unprincipled slave hunters
rushing upon me armed with weapons of death, it was no use for me to
undertake to fight my way through against such fearful odds.
But I broke away from the man who stood by with his pistol drawn to
shoot me if I should resist, and reached the fence and attempted to
jump over it before I was overtaken; but the fence being very high I
was caught by my legs before I got over.
I kicked and struggled with all my might to get away, but without
success. I kicked a new cloth coat off of his back, while he was
holding on to my leg. I kicked another in his eye; but they never let
me go until they got more help. By this time, there was a crowd on the
out side of the fence with clubs to beat me back. Finally, they
succeeded in dragging me from the fence and overpowered me by numbers
and choked me almost to death.
These ruffians dragged me through the streets of Cincinnati, to what
was called a justice office. But it was more like an office of
injustice.
When I entered the room I was introduced to three slaveholders, one of
whom was a son of Wm. Gatewood, who claimed me as his property. They
pretended to be very glad to see me.
They asked me if I did not want to see my wife and child; but I made
no reply to any thing that was said until I was delivered up as a
slave. After they were asked a few questions by the court, the old
pro-slavery squire very gravely pronounced me to be the property of
Mr. Gatewood.
The office being crowded with spectators, many of whom were colored
persons, Mr. G. was afraid to keep me in Cincinnati, two or three
hours even, until a steamboat got ready to leave for the South. So
they took me across the river, and locked me up in Covington jail, for
safe keeping. This was the first time in my life that I had been put
into a jail. It was truly distressing to my feelings to be locked up
in a cold dungeon for no crime. The jailor not being at home, his wife
had to act in his place. After my owners had gone back to Cincinnati,
the jailor's wife, in company with another female, came into the jail
and talked with me very friendly.
I told them all about my situation, and these ladies said they hoped
that I might get away again, and went so far as to tell me if I should
be kept in the jail that night, there was a hole under the wall of the
jail where a prisoner had got out. It was only filled up with loose
dirt, they said, and I might scratch it out and clear myself.
This I thought was a kind word from an unexpected friend: I had power
to have taken the key from those ladies, in spite of them, and have
cleared myself; but knowing that they would have to suffer perhaps for
letting me get away, I thought I would wait until after dark, at which
time I should try to make my escape, if they should not take me out
before that time. But within two or three hours, they came after me,
and conducted me on board of a boat, on which we all took passage down
to Louisville. I was not confined in any way, but was well guarded by
five men, three of whom were slaveholders, and the two young men from
Cincinnati, who had betrayed me.
After the boat had got fairly under way, with these vile men standing
around me on the upper deck of the boat, and she under full speed
carrying me back into a land of torment, I could see no possible way
of escape. Yet, while I was permitted to gaze on the beauties of
nature, on free soil, as I passed down the river, things looked to me
uncommonly pleasant: The green trees and wild flowers of the forest;
the ripening harvest fields waving with the gentle breezes of Heaven;
and the honest farmers tilling their soil and living by their own
toil. These things seem to light upon my vision with a peculiar charm.
I was conscious of what must be my fate; a wretched victim for Slavery
without limit; to be sold like an ox, into hopeless bondage, and to be
worked under the flesh devouring lash during life, without wages.
This was to me an awful thought; every time the boat run near the
shore, I was tempted to leap from the deck down into the water, with a
hope of making my escape. Such was then my feeling.
But on a moment's reflection, reason with her warning voice overcame
this passion by pointing out the dreadful consequences of one's
committing suicide. And this I thought would have a very striking
resemblance to the act, and I declined putting into practice this
dangerous experiment, though the temptation was great.
These kidnapping gentlemen, seeing that I was much dissatisfied,
commenced talking to me, by saying that I must not be cast down; they
were going to take me back home to live with my family, if I would
promise not to run away again.
To this I agreed, and told them that this was all that I could ask,
and more than I had expected.
But they were not satisfied with having recaptured me, because they
had lost other slaves and supposed that I knew their whereabouts; and
truly I did. They wanted me to tell them; but before telling I wanted
them to tell who it was that had betrayed me into their hands. They
said that I was betrayed by two colored men in Cincinnati, whose names
they were backward in telling, because their business in connection
with themselves was to betray and catch fugitive slaves for the reward
offered. They undertook to justify the act by saying if they had not
betrayed me, that somebody else would, and if I would tell them where
they could catch a number of other runaway slaves, they would pay for
me and set me free, and would then take me in as one of the Club. They
said I would soon make money enough to buy my wife and child out of
slavery.
But I replied, "No, gentlemen, I cannot commit or do an act of that
kind, even if it were in my power so to do. I know that I am now in
the power of a master who can sell me from my family for life, or
punish me for the crime of running away, just as he pleases: I know
that I am a prisoner for life, and have no way of extricating myself;
and I also know that I have been deceived and betrayed by men who
professed to be my best friends; but can all this justify me in
becoming a traitor to others? Can I do that which I complain of others
for doing unto me? Never, I trust, while a single pulsation of my
heart continues to beat, can I consent to betray a fellow man like
myself back into bondage, who has escaped. Dear as I love my wife and
little child, and as much as I should like to enjoy freedom and
happiness with them, I am unwilling to bring this about by betraying
and destroying the liberty and happiness of others who have never
offended me! "
I then asked them again if they would do me the kindness to tell me
who it was betrayed me into their hands at Cincinnati? They agreed to
tell me with the understanding that I was to tell where there was
living, a family of slaves at the North, who had run away from Mr.
King of Kentucky. I should not have agreed to this, but I knew the
slaves were in Canada, where it was not possible for them to be
captured. After they had told me the names of the persons who betrayed
me, and how it was done, then I told them their slaves were in Canada,
doing well. The two white men were Constables, who claimed the right
of taking up any strange colored person as a slave; while the two
colored kidnappers, under the pretext of being abolitionists, would
find out all the fugitives they could, and inform these Constables for
which they got a part of the reward, after they had found out where
the slaves were from, the name of his master, &c. By the agency of
these colored men, they were seized by a band of white ruffians,
locked up in jail, and their master sent for. These colored
kidnappers, with the Constables, were getting rich by betraying
fugitive slaves. This was told to me by one of the Constables, while
they were all standing around trying to induce me to engage in the
same business for the sake of regaining my own liberty, and that of my
wife and child. But my answer even there, under the most trying
circumstances, surrounded by the strongest enemies of God and man, was
most emphatically in the negative. "Let my punishment be what it may,
either with the lash or by selling me away from my friends and home;
let my destiny be what you please, I can never engage in this business
for the sake of getting free. "
They said I should not be sold nor punished with the lash for what I
had done, but I should be carried back to Bedford, to live with my
wife. Yet when the boat got to where we should have landed, she wafted
by without making any stop. I felt awful in view of never seeing my
family again; they asked what was the matter? what made me look so
cast down? I informed them that I knew I was to be sold in the
Louisville slave market, or in New Orleans, and I never expected to
see my family again. But they tried to pacify me by promising not to
sell me to a slave trader who would take me off to New Orleans;
cautioning me at the same time not to let it be known that I had been
a runaway. This would very much lessen the value of me in market. They
would not punish me by putting irons on my limbs, but would give me a
good name, and sell me to some gentleman in Louisville for a house
servant. They thought I would soon make money enough to buy myself,
and would not part with me if they could get along without. But I had
cost them so much in advertising and looking for me, that they were
involved by it. In the first place they paid eight hundred and fifty
dollars for me; and when I first run away, they paid one hundred for
advertising and looking after me; and now they had to pay about forty
dollars, expenses travelling to and from Cincinnati, in addition to
the three hundred dollars reward; and they were not able to pay the
reward without selling me.
I knew then the only alternative left for me to extricate myself was
to use deception, which is the most effectual defence a slave can use.
I pretended to be satisfied for the purpose of getting an opportunity
of giving them the slip.
But oh, the distress of mind, the lamentable thought that I should
never again see the face nor hear the gentle voice of my nearest and
dearest friends in this life. I could imagine what must be my fate
from my peculiar situation. To be sold to the highest bidder, and then
wear the chains of slavery down to the grave. The day star of liberty
which had once cheered and gladdened my heart in freedom's land, had
then hidden itself from my vision, and the dark and dismal frown of
slavery had obscured the sunshine of freedom from me, as they supposed
for all time to come.
But the understanding between us was, I was not to be tied, chained,
nor flogged; for if they should take me into the city handcuffed and
guarded by five men the question might be asked what crime I had
committed? And if it should be known that I had been a runaway to
Canada, it would lessen the value of me at least one hundred dollars.
CHAPTER VI.
_Arrival at Louisville, Ky. --Efforts to sell me. --Fortunate escape
from the man-stealers in the public street. --I return to Bedford,
Ky. --The rescue of my family again attempted. --I started alone
expecting them to follow. --After waiting some months I resolve to go
back again to Kentucky. _
When the boat arrived at Louisville, the day being too far spent for
them to dispose of me, they had to put up at a Hotel. When we left the
boat, they were afraid of my bolting from them in the street, and to
prevent this they took hold of my arms, one on each side of me,
gallanting me up to the hotel with as much propriety as if I had been
a white lady. This was to deceive the people, and prevent my getting
away from them.
They called for a bed-room to which I was conducted and locked within.
That night three of them lodged in the same room to guard me. They
locked the door and put the key under the head of their bed. I could
see no possible way for my escape without jumping out of a high three
story house window.
It was almost impossible for me to sleep that night in my peculiar
situation. I passed the night in prayer to our Heavenly Father, asking
that He would open to me even the smallest chance for escape.
The next morning after they had taken breakfast, four of them left me
in the care of Dan Lane. He was what might be called one of the watch
dogs of Kentucky. There was nothing too mean for him to do.
I was aware of it, I was deeply in love; and what made this passion so
effectual and almost irresistable, I became satisfied that it was
reciprocal. There was a union of feeling, and every visit made the
impression stronger and stronger. One or two other young men were
paying attention to Malinda, at the same time; one of whom her mother
was anxious to have her marry. This of course gave me a fair
opportunity of testing Malinda's sincerity. I had just about
opposition enough to make the subject interesting. That Malinda loved
me above all others on earth, no one could deny. I could read it by
the warm reception with which the dear girl always met me, and treated
me in her mother's house. I could read it by the warm and affectionate
shake of the hand, and gentle smile upon her lovely cheek. I could
read it by her always giving me the preference of her company; by her
pressing invitations to visit even in opposition to her mother's will.
I could read it in the language of her bright and sparkling eye,
penciled by the unchangable finger of nature, that spake but could not
lie. These strong temptations gradually diverted my attention from my
actual condition and from liberty, though not entirely.
But oh! that I had only then been enabled to have seen as I do now, or
to have read the following slave code, which is but a stereotyped law
of American slavery. It would have saved me I think from having to
lament that I was a husband and am the father of slaves who are still
left to linger out their days in hopeless bondage. The laws of
Kentucky, my native State, with Maryland and Virginia, which are said
to be the mildest slave States in the Union, noted for their humanity,
Christianity and democracy, declare that "Any slave, for rambling in
the night, or riding horseback without leave, or running away, may be
punished by whipping, cropping and branding in the cheek, or
otherwise, not rendering him unfit for labor. " "Any slave convicted of
petty larceny, murder, or wilfully burning of dwelling houses, may be
sentenced to have his right hand cut off; to be hanged in the usual
manner, or the head severed from the body, the body divided into four
quarters, and head and quarters stuck up in the most public place in
the county, where such act was committed. "
At the time I joined my wife in holy wedlock, I was ignorant of these
ungodly laws; I knew not that I was propogating victims for this kind
of torture and cruelty. Malinda's mother was free, and lived in
Bedford, about a quarter of a mile from her daughter; and we often met
and passed off the time pleasantly. Agreeable to promise, on one
Saturday evening, I called to see Malinda, at her mother's residence,
with an intention of letting her know my mind upon the subject of
marriage. It was a very bright moonlight night; the dear girl was
standing in the door, anxiously waiting my arrival. As I approached
the door she caught my hand with an affectionate smile, and bid me
welcome to her mother's fire-side. After having broached the subject
of marriage, I informed her of the difficulties which I conceived to
be in the way of our marriage, and that I could never engage myself to
marry any girl only on certain conditions; near as I can recollect the
substance of our conversation upon the subject, it was, that I was
religiously inclined; that I intended to try to comply with the
requisitions of the gospel, both theoretically and practically through
life. Also that I was decided on becoming a freeman before I died; and
that I expected to get free by running away, and going to Canada,
under the British Government. Agreement on those two cardinal
questions I made my test for marriage.
I said, "I never will give my heart nor hand to any girl in marriage,
until I first know her sentiments upon the all-important subjects of
Religion and Liberty. No matter how well I might love her nor how
great the sacrifice in carrying out these God-given principles. And I
here pledge myself from this course never to be shaken while a single
pulsation of my heart shall continue to throb for Liberty. " With this
idea Malinda appeared to be well pleased, and with a smile she looked
me in the face and said, "I have long entertained the same views, and
this has been one of the greatest reasons why I have not felt inclined
to enter the married state while a slave; I have always felt a desire
to be free; I have long cherished a hope that I should yet be free,
either by purchase or running away. In regard to the subject of
Religion, I have always felt that it was a good thing, and something
that I would seek for at some future period. " After I found that
Malinda was right upon these all important questions, and that she
truly loved me well enough to make me an affectionate wife, I made
proposals for marriage. She very modestly declined answering the
question then, considering it to be one of a grave character, and
upon which our future destiny greatly depended. And notwithstanding
she confessed that I had her entire affections, she must have some
time to consider the matter. To this I of course consented, and was to
meet her on the next Saturday night to decide the question. But for
some cause I failed to come, and the next week she sent for me, and on
the Sunday evening following I called on her again; she welcomed me
with all the kindness of an affectionate lover, and seated me by her
side. We soon broached the old subject of marriage, and entered upon a
conditional contract of matrimony, viz: that we would marry if our
minds should not change within one year; that after marriage we would
change our former course and live a pious life; and that we would
embrace the earliest opportunity of running away to Canada for our
liberty. Clasping each other by the hand, pledging our sacred honor
that we would be true, we called on high heaven to witness the
rectitude of our purpose. There was nothing that could be more binding
upon us as slaves than this; for marriage among American slaves, is
disregarded by the laws of this country. It is counted a mere
temporary matter; it is a union which may be continued or broken off,
with or without the consent of a slaveholder, whether he is a priest
or a libertine.
There is no legal marriage among the slaves of the South; I never saw
nor heard of such a thing in my life, and I have been through seven of
the slave states. A slave marrying according to law, is a thing
unknown in the history of American Slavery. And be it known to the
disgrace of our country that every slaveholder, who is the keeper of a
number of slaves of both sexes, is also the keeper of a house or
houses of ill-fame. Licentious white men, can and do, enter at night
or day the lodging places of slaves; break up the bonds of affection
in families; destroy all their domestic and social union for life; and
the laws of the country afford them no protection. Will any man count,
if they can be counted, the churches of Maryland, Kentucky, and
Virginia, which have slaves connected with them, living in an open
state of adultery, never having been married according to the laws of
the State, and yet regular members of these various denominations, but
more especially the Baptist and Methodist churches? And I hazard
nothing in saying, that this state of things exists to a very wide
extent in the above states.
I am happy to state that many fugitive slaves, who have been enabled
by the aid of an over-ruling providence to escape to the free North
with those whom they claim as their wives, notwithstanding all their
ignorance and superstition, are not at all disposed to live together
like brutes, as they have been compelled to do in slaveholding
Churches. But as soon as they get free from slavery they go before
some anti-slavery clergyman, and have the solemn ceremony of marriage
performed according to the laws of the country. And if they profess
religion, and have been baptized by a slaveholding minister, they
repudiate it after becoming free, and are re-baptized by a man who is
worthy of doing it according to the gospel rule.
The time and place of my marriage, I consider one of the most trying
of my life. I was opposed by friends and foes; my mother opposed me
because she thought I was too young, and marrying she thought would
involve me in trouble and difficulty. My mother-in-law opposed me,
because she wanted her daughter to marry a slave who belonged to a
very rich man living near by, and who was well known to be the son of
his master. She thought no doubt that his master or father might
chance to set him free before he died, which would enable him to do a
better part by her daughter than I could! and there was no prospect
then of my ever being free. But his master has neither died nor yet
set his son free, who is now about forty years of age, toiling under
the lash, waiting and hoping that his master may die and will him to
be free.
The young men were opposed to our marriage for the same reason that
Paddy opposed a match when the clergyman was about to pronounce the
marriage ceremony of a young couple. He said "if there be any present
who have any objections to this couple being joined together in holy
wedlock, let them speak now, or hold their peace henceforth. " At this
time Paddy sprang to his feet and said, "Sir, I object to this. " Every
eye was fixed upon him. "What is your objection? " said the clergyman.
"Faith," replied Paddy, "Sir I want her myself. "
The man to whom I belonged was opposed, because he feared my taking
off from his farm some of the fruits of my own labor for Malinda to
eat, in the shape of pigs, chickens, or turkeys, and would count it
not robbery. So we formed a resolution, that if we were prevented from
joining in wedlock, that we would run away, and strike for Canada, let
the consequences be what they might. But we had one consolation;
Malinda's master was very much in favor of the match, but entirely
upon selfish principles. When I went to ask his permission to marry
Malinda, his answer was in the affirmative with but one condition
which I consider to be too vulgar to be written in this book. Our
marriage took place one night during the Christmas holydays; at which
time we had quite a festival given us. All appeared to be wide awake,
and we had quite a jolly time at my wedding party. And notwithstanding
our marriage was without license or sanction of law, we believed it to
be honorable before God, and the bed undefiled. Our Christmas holydays
were spent in matrimonial visiting among our friends, while it should
have been spent in running away to Canada, for our liberty. But
freedom was little thought of by us, for several months after
marriage. I often look back to that period even now as one of the most
happy seasons of my life; notwithstanding all the contaminating and
heart-rendering features with which the horrid system of slavery is
marked, and must carry with it to its final grave, yet I still look
back to that season with sweet remembrance and pleasure, that yet hath
power to charm and drive back dull cares which have been accumulated
by a thousand painful recollections of slavery. Malinda was to me an
affectionate wife. She was with me in the darkest hours of adversity.
She was with me in sorrow, and joy, in fasting and feasting, in trial
and persecution, in sickness and health, in sunshine and in shade.
Some months after our marriage, the unfeeling master to whom I
belonged, sold his farm with the view of moving his slaves to the
State of Missouri, regardless of the separation of husbands and wives
forever; but for fear of my resuming my old practice of running away,
if he should have forced me to leave my wife, by my repeated requests,
he was constrained to sell me to his brother, who lived within seven
miles of Wm. Gatewood, who then held Malinda as his property. I was
permitted to visit her only on Saturday nights, after my work was
done, and I had to be at home before sunrise on Monday mornings or
take a flogging. He proved to be so oppressive, and so unreasonable in
punishing his victims, that I soon found that I should have to run
away in self-defence. But he soon began to take the hint, and sold me
to Wm. Gatewood the owner of Malinda. With my new residence I confess
that I was much dissatisfied. Not that Gatewood was a more cruel
master than my former owner--not that I was opposed to living with
Malinda, who was then the centre and object of my affections--but to
live where I must be eye witness to her insults, scourgings and
abuses, such as are common to be inflicted upon slaves, was more than
I could bear. If my wife must be exposed to the insults and licentious
passions of wicked slavedrivers and overseers; if she must bear the
stripes of the lash laid on by an unmerciful tyrant; if this is to be
done with impunity, which is frequently done by slaveholders and their
abettors, Heaven forbid that I should be compelled to witness the
sight.
Not many months after I took up my residence on Wm. Gatewood's
plantation, Malinda made me a father. The dear little daughter was
called Mary Frances. She was nurtured and caressed by her mother and
father, until she was large enough to creep over the floor after her
parents, and climb up by a chair before I felt it to be my duty to
leave my family and go into a foreign country for a season. Malinda's
business was to labor out in the field the greater part of her time,
and there was no one to take care of poor little Frances, while her
mother was toiling in the field. She was left at the house to creep
under the feet of an unmerciful old mistress, whom I have known to
slap with her hand the face of little Frances, for crying after her
mother, until her little face was left black and blue. I recollect
that Malinda and myself came from the field one summer's day at noon,
and poor little Frances came creeping to her mother smiling, but with
large tear drops standing in her dear little eyes, sobbing and trying
to tell her mother that she had been abused, but was not able to utter
a word. Her little face was bruised black with the whole print of Mrs.
Gatewood's hand. This print was plainly to be seen for eight days
after it was done. But oh! this darling child was a slave; born of a
slave mother. Who can imagine what could be the feelings of a father
and mother, when looking upon their infant child whipped and tortured
with impunity, and they placed in a situation where they could afford
it no protection. But we were all claimed and held as property; the
father and mother were slaves!
On this same plantation I was compelled to stand and see my wife
shamefully scourged and abused by her master; and the manner in which
this was done, was so violently and inhumanly committed upon the
person of a female, that I despair in finding decent language to
describe the bloody act of cruelty. My happiness or pleasure was then
all blasted; for it was sometimes a pleasure to be with my little
family even in slavery. I loved them as my wife and child. Little
Frances was a pretty child; she was quiet, playful, bright, and
interesting. She had a keen black eye, and the very image of her
mother was stamped upon her cheek; but I could never look upon the
dear child without being filled with sorrow and fearful apprehensions,
of being separated by slaveholders, because she was a slave, regarded
as property. And unfortunately for me, I am the father of a slave, a
word too obnoxious to be spoken by a fugitive slave. It calls fresh to
my mind the separation of husband and wife; of stripping, tying up and
flogging; of tearing children from their parents, and selling them on
the auction block. It calls to mind female virtue trampled under foot
with impunity. But oh! when I remember that my daughter, my only
child, is still there, destined to share the fate of all these
calamities, it is too much to bear. If ever there was any one act of
my life while a slave, that I have to lament over, it is that of being
a father and a husband of slaves. I have the satisfaction of knowing
that I am only the father of one slave. She is bone of my bone, and
flesh of my flesh; poor unfortunate child. She was the first and shall
be the last slave that ever I will father, for chains and slavery on
this earth.
FOOTNOTES:
[2] The distinction among slaves is as marked, as the classes of
society are in any aristocratic community. Some refusing to associate
with others whom they deem beneath them in point of character, color,
condition, or the superior importance of their respective masters.
CHAPTER IV.
_My first adventure for liberty. --Parting Scene. --Journey up the
river. --Safe arrival in Cincinnati. --Journey to Canada. --Suffering
from cold and hunger. --Denied food and shelter by some. --One noble
exception. --Subsequent success. --Arrival at Perrysburgh. --I obtained
employment through the winter. --My return to Kentucky to get my
family. _
In the fall or winter of 1837 I formed a resolution that I would
escape, if possible, to Canada, for my Liberty. I commenced from that
hour making preparations for the dangerous experiment of breaking the
chains that bound me as a slave. My preparation for this voyage
consisted in the accumulation of a little money, perhaps not exceeding
two dollars and fifty cents, and a suit which I had never been seen or
known to wear before; this last was to avoid detection.
On the twenty-fifth of December, 1837, my long anticipated time had
arrived when I was to put into operation my former resolution, which
was to bolt for Liberty or consent to die a Slave. I acted upon the
former, although I confess it to be one of the most self-denying acts
of my whole life, to take leave of an affectionate wife, who stood
before me on my departure, with dear little Frances in her arms, and
with tears of sorrow in her eyes as she bid me a long farewell. It
required all the moral courage that I was master of to suppress my
feelings while taking leave of my little family.
Had Malinda known my intention at that time, it would not have been
possible for me to have got away, and I might have this day been a
slave. Notwithstanding every inducement was held out to me to run away
if I would be free, and the voice of liberty was thundering in my very
soul, "Be free, oh, man! be free," I was struggling against a thousand
obstacles which had clustered around my mind to bind my wounded spirit
still in the dark prison of mental degradation. My strong attachments
to friends and relatives, with all the love of home and birth-place
which is so natural among the human family, twined about my heart and
were hard to break away from. And withal, the fear of being pursued
with guns and blood-hounds, and of being killed, or captured and
taken to the extreme South, to linger out my days in hopeless bondage
on some cotton or sugar plantation, all combined to deter me. But I
had counted the cost, and was fully prepared to make the sacrifice.
The time for fulfilling my pledge was then at hand. I must forsake
friends and neighbors, wife and child, or consent to live and die a
slave.
By the permission of my keeper, I started out to work for myself on
Christmas. I went to the Ohio River, which was but a short distance
from Bedford. My excuse for wanting to go there was to get work. High
wages were offered for hands to work in a slaughter-house. But in
place of my going to work there, according to promise, when I arrived
at the river I managed to find a conveyance to cross over into a free
state. I was landed in the village of Madison, Indiana, where
steamboats were landing every day and night, passing up and down the
river, which afforded me a good opportunity of getting a boat passage
to Cincinnati. My anticipation being worked up to the highest pitch,
no sooner was the curtain of night dropped over the village, than I
secreted myself where no one could see me, and changed my suit ready
for the passage. Soon I heard the welcome sound of a Steamboat coming
up the river Ohio, which was soon to waft me beyond the limits of the
human slave markets of Kentucky. When the boat had landed at Madison,
notwithstanding my strong desire to get off, my heart trembled within
me in view of the great danger to which I was exposed in taking
passage on board of a Southern Steamboat; hence before I took passage,
I kneeled down before the Great I Am, and prayed for his aid and
protection, which He bountifully bestowed even beyond my expectation;
for I felt myself to be unworthy. I then stept boldly on the deck of
this splendid swift-running Steamer, bound for the city of Cincinnati.
This being the first voyage that I had ever taken on board of a
Steamboat, I was filled with fear and excitement, knowing that I was
surrounded by the vilest enemies of God and man, liable to be seized
and bound hand and foot, by any white man, and taken back into
captivity. But I crowded myself back from the light among the deck
passengers, where it would be difficult to distinguish me from a white
man. Every time during the night that the mate came round with a
light after the hands, I was afraid he would see I was a colored man,
and take me up; hence I kept from the light as much as possible. Some
men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil; but
this was not the case with myself; it was to avoid detection in doing
right. This was one of the instances of my adventures that my affinity
with the Anglo-Saxon race, and even slaveholders, worked well for my
escape. But no thanks to them for it. While in their midst they have
not only robbed me of my labor and liberty, but they have almost
entirely robbed me of my dark complexion. Being so near the color of a
slaveholder, they could not, or did not find me out that night among
the white passengers. There was one of the deck hands on board called
out on his watch, whose hammock was swinging up near by me. I asked
him if he would let me lie in it. He said if I would pay him
twenty-five cents that I might lie in it until day. I readily paid him
the price and got into the hammock. No one could see my face to know
whether I was white or colored, while I was in the hammock; but I
never closed my eyes for sleep that night. I had often heard of
explosions on board of Steamboats; and every time the boat landed, and
blowed off steam, I was afraid the boilers had bursted and we should
all be killed; but I lived through the night amid the many dangers to
which I was exposed. I still maintained my position in the hammock,
until the next morning about 8 o'clock, when I heard the passengers
saying the boat was near Cincinnati; and by this time I supposed that
the attention of the people would be turned to the city, and I might
pass off unnoticed.
There were no questions asked me while on board the boat. The boat
landed about 9 o'clock in the morning in Cincinnati, and I waited
until after most of the passengers had gone off of the boat; I then
walked as gracefully up street as if I was not running away, until I
had got pretty well up Broadway. My object was to go to Canada, but
having no knowledge of the road, it was necessary for me to make some
inquiry before I left the city. I was afraid to ask a white person,
and I could see no colored person to ask. But fortunately for me I
found a company of little boys at play in the street, and through
these little boys, by asking them indirect questions, I found the
residence of a colored man.
"Boys, can you tell me where that old colored man lives who saws wood,
and works at jobs around the streets? "
"What is his name? " said one of the boys.
"I forget. "
"Is it old Job Dundy? "
"Is Dundy a colored man? "
"Yes, sir. "
"That is the very man I am looking for; will you show me where he
lives? "
"Yes," said the little boy, and pointed me out the house.
Mr. D. invited me in, and I found him to be a true friend. He asked me
if I was a slave from Kentucky, and if I ever intended to go back into
slavery? Not knowing yet whether he was truly in favor of slaves
running away, I told him that I had just come over to spend my
christmas holydays, and that I was going back. His reply was, "my son,
I would never go back if I was in your place; you have a right to your
liberty. " I then asked him how I should get my freedom? He referred me
to Canada, over which waved freedom's flag, defended by the British
Government, upon whose soil there cannot be the foot print of a slave.
He then commenced telling me of the facilities for my escape to
Canada; of the Abolitionists; of the Abolition Societies, and of their
fidelity to the cause of suffering humanity. This was the first time
in my life that ever I had heard of such people being in existence as
the Abolitionists. I supposed that they were a different race of
people. He conducted me to the house of one of these warm-hearted
friends of God and the slave. I found him willing to aid a poor
fugitive on his way to Canada, even to the dividing of the last cent,
or morsel of bread if necessary.
These kind friends gave me something to eat and started me on my way
to Canada, with a recommendation to a friend on my way. This was the
commencement of what was called the under ground rail road to Canada.
I walked with bold courage, trusting in the arm of Omnipotence; guided
by the unchangable North Star by night, and inspired by an elevated
thought that I was fleeing from a land of slavery and oppression,
bidding farewell to handcuffs, whips, thumb-screws and chains.
I travelled on until I had arrived at the place where I was directed
to call on an Abolitionist, but I made no stop: so great were my fears
of being pursued by the pro-slavery hunting dogs of the South. I
prosecuted my journey vigorously for nearly forty-eight hours without
food or rest, struggling against external difficulties such as no one
can imagine who has never experienced the same: not knowing what
moment I might be captured while travelling among strangers, through
cold and fear, breasting the north winds, being thinly clad, pelted by
the snow storms through the dark hours of the night and not a house in
which I could enter to shelter me from the storm.
The second night from Cincinnati, about midnight, I thought that I
should freeze; my shoes were worn through, and my feet were exposed to
the bare ground. I approached a house on the road-side, knocked at the
door, and asked admission to their fire, but was refused. I went to
the next house, and was refused the privilege of their fire-side, to
prevent my freezing. This I thought was hard treatment among the human
family.
But--
"Behind a frowning Providence there was a smiling face,"
which soon shed beams of light upon unworthy me.
The next morning I was still found struggling on my way faint, hungry,
lame, and rest-broken. I could see people taking breakfast from the
road-side, but I did not dare to enter their houses to get my
breakfast, for neither love nor money. In passing a low cottage, I saw
the breakfast table spread with all its bounties, and I could see no
male person about the house; the temptation for food was greater than
I could resist.
I saw a lady about the table, and I thought that if she was ever so
much disposed to take me up, that she would have to catch and hold me,
and that would have been impossible. I stepped up to the door with my
hat off, and asked her if she would be good enough to sell me a
sixpence worth of bread and meat. She cut off a piece and brought it
to me; I thanked her for it, and handed her the pay, but instead of
receiving it, she burst into tears, and said "never mind the money,"
but gently turned away bidding me go on my journey. This was
altogether unexpected to me: I had found a friend in the time of need
among strangers, and nothing could be more cheering in the day of
trouble than this. When I left that place I started with bolder
courage. The next night I put up at a tavern, and continued stopping
at public houses until my means were about gone. When I got to the
Black Swamp in the county of Wood, Ohio, I stopped one night at a
hotel, after travelling all day through mud and snow; but I soon found
that I should not be able to pay my bill. This was about the time that
the "wild-cat banks" were in a flourishing state, and "shin
plasters"[3] in abundance; they would charge a dollar for one night's
lodging.
After I had found out this, I slipped out of the bar room into the
kitchen where the landlady was getting supper; as she had quite a
number of travellers to cook for that night, I told her if she would
accept my services, I would assist her in getting supper; that I was a
cook. She very readily accepted the offer, and I went to work.
She was very much pleased with my work, and the next morning I helped
her to get breakfast. She then wanted to hire me for all winter, but I
refused for fear I might be pursued. My excuse to her was that I had a
brother living in Detroit, whom I was going to see on some important
business, and after I got that business attended to, I would come back
and work for them all winter.
When I started the second morning they paid me fifty cents beside my
board, with the understanding that I was to return; but I have not
gone back yet.
I arrived the next morning in the village of Perrysburgh, where I
found quite a settlement of colored people, many of whom were fugitive
slaves. I made my case known to them and they sympathized with me. I
was a stranger, and they took me in and persuaded me to spend the
winter in Perrysburgh, where I could get employment and go to Canada
the next spring, in a steamboat which run from Perrysburgh, if I
thought it proper so to do.
I got a job of chopping wood during that winter which enabled me to
purchase myself a suit, and after paying my board the next spring, I
had saved fifteen dollars in cash. My intention was to go back to
Kentucky after my wife.
When I got ready to start, which was about the first of May, my
friends all persuaded me not to go, but to get some other person to
go, for fear I might be caught and sold off from my family into
slavery forever. But I could not refrain from going back myself,
believing that I could accomplish it better than a stranger.
The money that I had would not pass in the South, and for the purpose
of getting it off to a good advantage, I took a steamboat passage to
Detroit, Michigan, and there I spent all my money for dry goods, to
peddle out on my way back through the State of Ohio. I also purchased
myself a pair of false whiskers to put on when I got back to Kentucky,
to prevent any one from knowing me after night, should they see me. I
then started back after my little family.
FOOTNOTES:
[3] Nickname for temporary paper money.
CHAPTER V.
_My safe arrival at Kentucky. --Surprise and delight to find my
family. --Plan for their escape projected. --Return to Cincinnati. --My
betrayal by traitors. --Imprisonment in Covington, Kentucky. --Return to
slavery. --Infamous proposal of the slave catchers. --My reply. _
I succeeded very well in selling out my goods, and when I arrived in
Cincinnati, I called on some of my friends who had aided me on my
first escape. They also opposed me in going back only for my own good.
But it has ever been characteristic of me to persevere in what I
undertake.
I took a Steamboat passage which would bring me to where I should want
to land about dark, so as to give me a chance to find my family during
the night if possible. The boat landed me at the proper place, and at
the proper time accordingly. This landing was about six miles from
Bedford, where my mother and wife lived, but with different families.
My mother was the cook at a tavern, in Bedford. When I approached the
house where mother was living, I remembered where she slept in the
kitchen; her bed was near the window.
It was a bright moonlight night, and in looking through the kitchen
window, I saw a person lying in bed about where my mother had formerly
slept. I rapped on the glass which awakened the person, in whom I
recognised my dear mother, but she knew me not, as I was dressed in
disguise with my false whiskers on; but she came to the window and
asked who I was and what I wanted. But when I took off my false
whiskers, and spoke to her, she knew my voice, and quickly sprang to
the door, clasping my hand, exclaiming, "Oh! is this my son," drawing
me into the room, where I was so fortunate as to find Malinda, and
little Frances, my wife and child, whom I had left to find the fair
climes of liberty, and whom I was then seeking to rescue from
perpetual slavery.
They never expected to see me again in this life. I am entirely unable
to describe what my feelings were at that time. It was almost like the
return of the prodigal son. There was weeping and rejoicing. They were
filled with surprise and fear; with sadness and joy. The sensation of
joy at that moment flashed like lightning over my afflicted mind,
mingled with a thousand dreadful apprehensions, that none but a heart
wounded slave father and husband like myself can possibly imagine.
After talking the matter over, we decided it was not best to start
with my family that night, as it was very uncertain whether we should
get a boat passage immediately. And in case of failure, if Malinda
should get back even before day-light the next morning, it would have
excited suspicion against her, as it was not customary for slaves to
leave home at that stage of the week without permission. Hence we
thought it would be the most effectual way for her to escape, to start
on Saturday night; this being a night on which the slaves of Kentucky
are permitted to visit around among their friends, and are often
allowed to stay until the afternoon on Sabbath day.
I gave Malinda money to pay her passage on board of a Steamboat to
Cincinnati, as it was not safe for me to wait for her until Saturday
night; but she was to meet me in Cincinnati, if possible, the next
Sunday. Her father was to go with her to the Ohio River on Saturday
night, and if a boat passed up during the night she was to get on
board at Madison, and come to Cincinnati. If she should fail in
getting off that night, she was to try it the next Saturday night.
This was the understanding when we separated. This we thought was the
best plan for her escape, as there had been so much excitement caused
by my running away.
The owners of my wife were very much afraid that she would follow me;
and to prevent her they had told her and other slaves that I had been
persuaded off by the Abolitionists, who had promised to set me free,
but had sold me off to New Orleans. They told the slaves to beware of
the abolitionists, that their object was to decoy off slaves and then
sell them off in New Orleans. Some of them believed this, and others
believed it not; and the owners of my wife were more watchful over her
than they had ever been before as she was unbelieving.
This was in the month of June, 1838. I left Malinda on a bright but
lonesome Wednesday night. When I arrived at the river Ohio, I found a
small craft chained to a tree, in which I ferried myself across the
stream.
I succeeded in getting a Steamboat passage back to Cincinnati, where I
put up with one of my abolition friends who knew that I had gone after
my family, and who appeared to be much surprised to see me again. I
was soon visited by several friends who knew of my having gone back
after my family. They wished to know why I had not brought my family
with me; but after they understood the plan, and that my family was
expected to be in Cincinnati within a few days, they thought it the
best and safest plan for us to take a stage passage out to Lake Erie.
But being short of money, I was not able to pay my passage in the
stage, even if it would have prevented me from being caught by the
slave hunters of Cincinnati, or save me from being taken back into
bondage for life.
These friends proposed helping me by subscription; I accepted their
kind offer, but in going among friends to solicit aid for me, they
happened to get among traitors, and kidnappers, both white and colored
men, who made their living by that kind of business. Several persons
called on me and made me small donations, and among them two white men
came in professing to be my friends. They told me not to be afraid of
them, they were abolitionists. They asked me a great many questions.
They wanted to know if I needed any help? and they wanted to know if
it could be possible that a man so near white as myself could be a
slave? Could it be possible that men would make slaves of their own
children? They expressed great sympathy for me, and gave me fifty
cents each; by this they gained my confidence. They asked my master's
name; where he lived, &c. After which they left the room, bidding me
God speed. These traitors, or land pirates, took passage on board of
the first Steamboat down the river, in search of my owners. When they
found them, they got a reward of three hundred dollars offered for the
re-capture of this "stray" which they had so long and faithfully been
hunting, by day and by night, by land and by water, with dogs and with
guns, but all without success. This being the last and only chance for
dragging me back into hopeless bondage, time and money was no object
when they saw a prospect of my being re-taken.
Mr. Gatewood got two of his slaveholding neighbors to go with him to
Cincinnati, for the purpose of swearing to anything which might be
necessary to change me back into property. They came on to Cincinnati,
and with but little effort they soon rallied a mob of ruffians who
were willing to become the watch-dogs of slaveholders, for a dram, in
connection with a few slavehunting petty constables.
While I was waiting the arrival of my family, I got a job of digging a
cellar for the good lady where I was stopping, and while I was digging
under the house, all at once I heard a man enter the house; another
stept up to the cellar door to where I was at work; he looked in and
saw me with my coat off at work. He then rapped over the cellar door
on the house side, to notify the one who had entered the house to look
for me that I was in the cellar. This strange conduct soon excited
suspicion so strong in me, that I could not stay in the cellar and
started to come out, but the man who stood by the door, rapped again
on the house side, for the other to come to his aid, and told me to
stop. I attempted to pass out by him, and he caught hold of me, and
drew a pistol, swearing if I did not stop he would shoot me down. By
this time I knew that I was betrayed.
I asked him what crime I had committed that I should be murdered.
"I will let you know, very soon," said he.
By this time there were others coming to his aid, and I could see no
way by which I could possibly escape the jaws of that hell upon earth.
All my flattering prospects of enjoying my own fire-side, with my
little family, were then blasted and gone; and I must bid farewell to
friends and freedom forever.
In vain did I look to the infamous laws of the Commonwealth of Ohio,
for that protection against violence and outrage, that even the vilest
criminal with a white skin might enjoy. But oh! the dreadful thought,
that after all my sacrifice and struggling to rescue my family from
the hands of the oppressor; that I should be dragged back into cruel
bondage to suffer the penalty of a tyrant's law, to endure stripes and
imprisonment, and to be shut out from all moral as well as
intellectual improvement, and linger out almost a living death.
When I saw a crowd of blood-thirsty, unprincipled slave hunters
rushing upon me armed with weapons of death, it was no use for me to
undertake to fight my way through against such fearful odds.
But I broke away from the man who stood by with his pistol drawn to
shoot me if I should resist, and reached the fence and attempted to
jump over it before I was overtaken; but the fence being very high I
was caught by my legs before I got over.
I kicked and struggled with all my might to get away, but without
success. I kicked a new cloth coat off of his back, while he was
holding on to my leg. I kicked another in his eye; but they never let
me go until they got more help. By this time, there was a crowd on the
out side of the fence with clubs to beat me back. Finally, they
succeeded in dragging me from the fence and overpowered me by numbers
and choked me almost to death.
These ruffians dragged me through the streets of Cincinnati, to what
was called a justice office. But it was more like an office of
injustice.
When I entered the room I was introduced to three slaveholders, one of
whom was a son of Wm. Gatewood, who claimed me as his property. They
pretended to be very glad to see me.
They asked me if I did not want to see my wife and child; but I made
no reply to any thing that was said until I was delivered up as a
slave. After they were asked a few questions by the court, the old
pro-slavery squire very gravely pronounced me to be the property of
Mr. Gatewood.
The office being crowded with spectators, many of whom were colored
persons, Mr. G. was afraid to keep me in Cincinnati, two or three
hours even, until a steamboat got ready to leave for the South. So
they took me across the river, and locked me up in Covington jail, for
safe keeping. This was the first time in my life that I had been put
into a jail. It was truly distressing to my feelings to be locked up
in a cold dungeon for no crime. The jailor not being at home, his wife
had to act in his place. After my owners had gone back to Cincinnati,
the jailor's wife, in company with another female, came into the jail
and talked with me very friendly.
I told them all about my situation, and these ladies said they hoped
that I might get away again, and went so far as to tell me if I should
be kept in the jail that night, there was a hole under the wall of the
jail where a prisoner had got out. It was only filled up with loose
dirt, they said, and I might scratch it out and clear myself.
This I thought was a kind word from an unexpected friend: I had power
to have taken the key from those ladies, in spite of them, and have
cleared myself; but knowing that they would have to suffer perhaps for
letting me get away, I thought I would wait until after dark, at which
time I should try to make my escape, if they should not take me out
before that time. But within two or three hours, they came after me,
and conducted me on board of a boat, on which we all took passage down
to Louisville. I was not confined in any way, but was well guarded by
five men, three of whom were slaveholders, and the two young men from
Cincinnati, who had betrayed me.
After the boat had got fairly under way, with these vile men standing
around me on the upper deck of the boat, and she under full speed
carrying me back into a land of torment, I could see no possible way
of escape. Yet, while I was permitted to gaze on the beauties of
nature, on free soil, as I passed down the river, things looked to me
uncommonly pleasant: The green trees and wild flowers of the forest;
the ripening harvest fields waving with the gentle breezes of Heaven;
and the honest farmers tilling their soil and living by their own
toil. These things seem to light upon my vision with a peculiar charm.
I was conscious of what must be my fate; a wretched victim for Slavery
without limit; to be sold like an ox, into hopeless bondage, and to be
worked under the flesh devouring lash during life, without wages.
This was to me an awful thought; every time the boat run near the
shore, I was tempted to leap from the deck down into the water, with a
hope of making my escape. Such was then my feeling.
But on a moment's reflection, reason with her warning voice overcame
this passion by pointing out the dreadful consequences of one's
committing suicide. And this I thought would have a very striking
resemblance to the act, and I declined putting into practice this
dangerous experiment, though the temptation was great.
These kidnapping gentlemen, seeing that I was much dissatisfied,
commenced talking to me, by saying that I must not be cast down; they
were going to take me back home to live with my family, if I would
promise not to run away again.
To this I agreed, and told them that this was all that I could ask,
and more than I had expected.
But they were not satisfied with having recaptured me, because they
had lost other slaves and supposed that I knew their whereabouts; and
truly I did. They wanted me to tell them; but before telling I wanted
them to tell who it was that had betrayed me into their hands. They
said that I was betrayed by two colored men in Cincinnati, whose names
they were backward in telling, because their business in connection
with themselves was to betray and catch fugitive slaves for the reward
offered. They undertook to justify the act by saying if they had not
betrayed me, that somebody else would, and if I would tell them where
they could catch a number of other runaway slaves, they would pay for
me and set me free, and would then take me in as one of the Club. They
said I would soon make money enough to buy my wife and child out of
slavery.
But I replied, "No, gentlemen, I cannot commit or do an act of that
kind, even if it were in my power so to do. I know that I am now in
the power of a master who can sell me from my family for life, or
punish me for the crime of running away, just as he pleases: I know
that I am a prisoner for life, and have no way of extricating myself;
and I also know that I have been deceived and betrayed by men who
professed to be my best friends; but can all this justify me in
becoming a traitor to others? Can I do that which I complain of others
for doing unto me? Never, I trust, while a single pulsation of my
heart continues to beat, can I consent to betray a fellow man like
myself back into bondage, who has escaped. Dear as I love my wife and
little child, and as much as I should like to enjoy freedom and
happiness with them, I am unwilling to bring this about by betraying
and destroying the liberty and happiness of others who have never
offended me! "
I then asked them again if they would do me the kindness to tell me
who it was betrayed me into their hands at Cincinnati? They agreed to
tell me with the understanding that I was to tell where there was
living, a family of slaves at the North, who had run away from Mr.
King of Kentucky. I should not have agreed to this, but I knew the
slaves were in Canada, where it was not possible for them to be
captured. After they had told me the names of the persons who betrayed
me, and how it was done, then I told them their slaves were in Canada,
doing well. The two white men were Constables, who claimed the right
of taking up any strange colored person as a slave; while the two
colored kidnappers, under the pretext of being abolitionists, would
find out all the fugitives they could, and inform these Constables for
which they got a part of the reward, after they had found out where
the slaves were from, the name of his master, &c. By the agency of
these colored men, they were seized by a band of white ruffians,
locked up in jail, and their master sent for. These colored
kidnappers, with the Constables, were getting rich by betraying
fugitive slaves. This was told to me by one of the Constables, while
they were all standing around trying to induce me to engage in the
same business for the sake of regaining my own liberty, and that of my
wife and child. But my answer even there, under the most trying
circumstances, surrounded by the strongest enemies of God and man, was
most emphatically in the negative. "Let my punishment be what it may,
either with the lash or by selling me away from my friends and home;
let my destiny be what you please, I can never engage in this business
for the sake of getting free. "
They said I should not be sold nor punished with the lash for what I
had done, but I should be carried back to Bedford, to live with my
wife. Yet when the boat got to where we should have landed, she wafted
by without making any stop. I felt awful in view of never seeing my
family again; they asked what was the matter? what made me look so
cast down? I informed them that I knew I was to be sold in the
Louisville slave market, or in New Orleans, and I never expected to
see my family again. But they tried to pacify me by promising not to
sell me to a slave trader who would take me off to New Orleans;
cautioning me at the same time not to let it be known that I had been
a runaway. This would very much lessen the value of me in market. They
would not punish me by putting irons on my limbs, but would give me a
good name, and sell me to some gentleman in Louisville for a house
servant. They thought I would soon make money enough to buy myself,
and would not part with me if they could get along without. But I had
cost them so much in advertising and looking for me, that they were
involved by it. In the first place they paid eight hundred and fifty
dollars for me; and when I first run away, they paid one hundred for
advertising and looking after me; and now they had to pay about forty
dollars, expenses travelling to and from Cincinnati, in addition to
the three hundred dollars reward; and they were not able to pay the
reward without selling me.
I knew then the only alternative left for me to extricate myself was
to use deception, which is the most effectual defence a slave can use.
I pretended to be satisfied for the purpose of getting an opportunity
of giving them the slip.
But oh, the distress of mind, the lamentable thought that I should
never again see the face nor hear the gentle voice of my nearest and
dearest friends in this life. I could imagine what must be my fate
from my peculiar situation. To be sold to the highest bidder, and then
wear the chains of slavery down to the grave. The day star of liberty
which had once cheered and gladdened my heart in freedom's land, had
then hidden itself from my vision, and the dark and dismal frown of
slavery had obscured the sunshine of freedom from me, as they supposed
for all time to come.
But the understanding between us was, I was not to be tied, chained,
nor flogged; for if they should take me into the city handcuffed and
guarded by five men the question might be asked what crime I had
committed? And if it should be known that I had been a runaway to
Canada, it would lessen the value of me at least one hundred dollars.
CHAPTER VI.
_Arrival at Louisville, Ky. --Efforts to sell me. --Fortunate escape
from the man-stealers in the public street. --I return to Bedford,
Ky. --The rescue of my family again attempted. --I started alone
expecting them to follow. --After waiting some months I resolve to go
back again to Kentucky. _
When the boat arrived at Louisville, the day being too far spent for
them to dispose of me, they had to put up at a Hotel. When we left the
boat, they were afraid of my bolting from them in the street, and to
prevent this they took hold of my arms, one on each side of me,
gallanting me up to the hotel with as much propriety as if I had been
a white lady. This was to deceive the people, and prevent my getting
away from them.
They called for a bed-room to which I was conducted and locked within.
That night three of them lodged in the same room to guard me. They
locked the door and put the key under the head of their bed. I could
see no possible way for my escape without jumping out of a high three
story house window.
It was almost impossible for me to sleep that night in my peculiar
situation. I passed the night in prayer to our Heavenly Father, asking
that He would open to me even the smallest chance for escape.
The next morning after they had taken breakfast, four of them left me
in the care of Dan Lane. He was what might be called one of the watch
dogs of Kentucky. There was nothing too mean for him to do.
