No More Learning

_Har. Jun. _ After that English dog, whom I believe you saw.

_Fisc. _ Whom, Towerson?

_Har. Jun. _ Yes, let me go, I'll have his blood.

_Fisc. _ Let me advise you first; you young men are so violently hot.

_Har. Jun. _ I say I'll have his blood.

_Fisc. _ To have his blood is not amiss, so far I go with you; but take
me with you further for the means: First, what's the injury?

_Har. Jun. _ Not to detain you with a tedious story, I love his
mistress, courted her, was slighted; into the heat of this he came; I
offered him the best advantages he could or to himself propose, or to
his nation, would he quit her love.

_Fisc. _ So far you are prudent, for she is exceeding rich.

_Har. Jun. _ He refused all; then I threatened him with my father's
power.

_Fisc. _ That was unwisely done; your father, underhand, may do a
mischief, but it is too gross aboveboard.

_Har. Jun. _ At last, nought else prevailing, I defied him to single
duel; this he refused, and I believe it was fear.

_Fisc. _ No, no, mistake him not, it is a stout whoreson. You did ill
to press him, it will not sound well in Europe; he being here a public
minister, having no means of 'scaping should he kill you, besides
exposing all his countrymen to a revenge.

_Har. Jun. _ That's all one; I'm resolved I will pursue my course, and
fight him.

_Fisc. _ Pursue your end, that's to enjoy the woman and her wealth; I
would, like you, have Towerson despatched,--for, as I am a true
Dutchman, I do hate him,--but I would convey him smoothly out of the
world, and without noise; they will say we are ungrateful else in
England, and barbarously cruel; now I could swallow down the _thing_
ingratitude and the _thing_ murder, but the names are odious.

_Har. Jun. _ What would you have me do then?

_Fisc. _ Let him enjoy his love a little while, it will break no
squares in the long run of a man's life; you shall have enough of her,
and in convenient time.

_Har. Jun. _ I cannot bear he should enjoy her first; no, it is
determined; I will kill him bravely.

_Fisc. _ Ay, a right young man's bravery, that's folly: Let me alone,
something I'll put in practice, to rid you of this rival ere he
marries, without your once appearing in it.

_Har. Jun. _ If I durst trust you now?

_Fisc. _ If you believe that I have wit, or love you.

_Har. Jun. _ Well, sir, you have prevailed; be speedy, for once I will
rely on you. Farewell. [_Exit_ HARMAN.

_Fisc. _ This hopeful business will be quickly spoiled, if I not take
exceeding care of it. --Stay,--Towerson to be killed, and privately,
that must be laid down as the groundwork, for stronger reasons than a
young man's passion; but who shall do it? No Englishman will, and much
I fear, no Dutchman dares attempt it.

_Enter_ PEREZ.

Well said, in faith, old Devil! Let thee alone, when once a man is
plotting villany, to find him a fit instrument. This Spanish captain,
who commands our slaves, is bold enough, and is beside in want, and
proud enough to think he merits wealth.

_Per. _ This Fiscal loves my wife; I am jealous of him, and yet must
speak him fair to get my pay; O, there is the devil for a Castilian,
to stoop to one of his own master's rebels, who has, or who designs to
cuckold him. --[_Aside. _]--[_To_ FISCAL. ] I come to kiss your hand
again, sir; six months I am in arrear; I must not starve, and
Spaniards cannot beg.

_Fisc. _ I have been a better friend to you, than perhaps you think,
captain.

_Per. _ I fear you have indeed. [_Aside. _

_Fisc. _ And faithfully solicited your business; send but your wife
to-morrow morning early, the money shall be ready.

_Per. _ What if I come myself?

_Fisc. _ Why ye may have it, if you come yourself, captain; but in case
your occasions should call you any other way, you dare trust her to
receive it.

_Per. _ She has no skill in money.

_Fisc. _ It shall be told into her hand, or given her upon honour, in a
lump: but, captain, you were saying you did want; now I should think
three hundred doubloons would do you no great harm; they will serve to
make you merry on the watch.

_Per. _ Must they be told into my wife's hand, too?

_Fisc. _ No, those you may receive yourself, if you dare merit them.

_Per. _ I am a Spaniard, sir; that implies honour: I dare all that is
possible.

_Fisc. _ Then you dare kill a man.

_Per. _ So it be fairly.

_Fisc. _ But what if he will not be so civil to be killed that way? He
is a sturdy fellow, I know you stout, and do not question your valour;
but I would make sure work, and not endanger you, who are my friend.

_Per. _ I fear the governor will execute me.

_Fisc. _ The governor will thank you; 'Tis he shall be your pay-master;
you shall have your pardon drawn up beforehand; and remember, no
transitory sum, three hundred quadruples in your own country gold.

_Per. _ Well, name your man.

_Enter_ JULIA.

_Fisc. _ Your wife comes, take it in whisper. [_They whisper. _

_Jul. _ Yonder is my master, and my Dutch servant; how lovingly they
talk in private! if I did not know my Don's temper to be monstrously
jealous, I should think, they were driving a secret bargain for my
body; but _cuerpo_ is not to be digested by my Castilian. _Mi Moher_,
my wife, and my mistress! he lays the emphasis on me, as if to cuckold
him were a worse sin, than breaking the commandment. If my English
lover, Beamont, my Dutch love, the Fiscal, and my Spanish husband,
were painted in a piece, with me amongst them, they would make a
pretty emblem of the two nations that cuckold his Catholic majesty in
his Indies.

_Fisc. _ You will undertake it then?

_Per. _ I have served under Towerson as his lieutenant, served him
well, and, though I say it, bravely; yet never have been rewarded,
though he promised largely; 'tis resolved, I'll do it.

_Fisc. _ And swear secresy?

_Per. _ By this beard.

_Fisc. _ Go wait upon the governor from me, confer with him about it in
my name, this seal will give you credit. [_Gives him his seal. _

_Per. _ I go. [_Goes a step or two, while the other approaches his
wife. _] What shall I be, before I come again? [_Exit. _

_Fisc. _ Now, my fair mistress, we shall have the opportunity which I
have long desired. [_To_ JULIA.

_Per. _ The governor is now a-sleeping; this is his hour of afternoon's
repose, I'll go when he is awake. [_Returning. _

_Fisc. _ He slept early this afternoon; I left him newly waked.

_Per. _ Well, I go then, but with an aching heart. [_Exit. _

_Fisc. _ So, at length he's gone.

_Jul. _ But you may find he was jealous, by his delay.

_Fisc. _ If I were as you, I would give evident proofs, should cure him
of that disease for ever after.

_Enter_ PEREZ _again. _

_Per. _ I have considered on't, and if you would go along with me to
the governor, it would do much better.

_Fisc. _ No, no, that would make the matter more suspicious. The devil
take thee for an impertinent cuckold! [_Aside. _

_Per. _ Well, I must go then. [_Exit_ PEREZ.

_Jul. _ Nay, there was never the like of him; but it shall not serve
his turn, we'll cuckold him most furiously.

_Enter_ PEREZ _again. _

_Per. _ I had forgot one thing; dear sweet-heart, go home quickly, and
oversee our business; it won't go forward without one of us.

_Fisc. _ I warrant you, take no care of your business; leave it to me,
I'll put it forward in your absence: Go, go, you'll lose your
opportunity; I'll be at home before you, and sup with you to-night.

_Per. _ You shall be welcome, but--

_Fisc. _ Three hundred quadruples.

_Per. _ That's true, but--

_Fisc. _ But three hundred quadruples.

_Per. _ The devil take the quadruples!

_Enter_ BEAMONT.

_Beam. _ There's my cuckold that must be, and my fellow swaggerer, the
Dutchman, with my mistress: my nose is wiped to-day; I must retire,
for the Spaniard is jealous of me.

_Per. _ Oh, Mr Beamont, I'm to ask a favour of you.

_Beam. _ This is unusual; pray command it, signior.

_Per. _ I am going upon urgent business; pray sup with me to-night,
and, in the meantime, bear my worthy friend here company.

_Beam. _ With all my heart.

_Per. _ So, now I am secure; though I dare not trust her with one of
them, I may with both; they'll hinder one another, and preserve my
honour into the bargain. [_Exit. _

_Beam. _ Now, Mr Fiscal, you are the happy man with the ladies, and
have got the precedence of traffic here too; you've the Indies in your
arms, yet I hope a poor Englishman may come in for a third part of the
merchandise.

_Fisc. _ Oh, sir, in these commodities, here's enough for both; here's
mace for you, and nutmeg for me, in the same fruit, and yet the owner
has to spare for other friends too.

_Jul. _ My husband's plantation is like to thrive well betwixt you.

_Beam. _ Horn him; he deserves not so much happiness as he enjoys in
you; he's jealous.

_Jul. _ 'Tis no wonder if a Spaniard looks yellow.

_Beam. _ Betwixt you and me, 'tis a little kind of venture that we
make, in doing this Don's drudgery for him; for the whole nation of
them is generally so pocky, that 'tis no longer a disease, but a
second nature in them.

_Fisc. _ I have heard indeed, that 'tis incorporated among them, as
deeply as the Moors and Jews are; there's scarce a family, but 'tis
crept into their blood, like the new Christians.

_Jul.
_ Come, I'll have no whispering betwixt you; I know you were
talking of my husband, because my nose itches.

_Beam. _ Faith, madam, I was speaking in favour of your nation: What
pleasant lives I have known Spaniards to live in England.

_Jul. _ If you love me, let me hear a little.

_Beam. _ We observed them to have much of the nature of our flies; they
buzzed abroad a month or two in the summer, would venture about
dog-days to take the air in the Park, but all the winter slept like
dormice; and, if they ever appeared in public after Michaelmas, their
faces shewed the difference betwixt their country and ours, for they
look in Spain as if they were roasted, and in England as if they were
sodden.

_Jul. _ I'll not believe your description.

_Fisc. _ Yet our observations of them in Holland are not much unlike
it. I've known a great Don at the Hague, with the gentleman of his
horse, his major domo, and two secretaries, all dine at four tables,
on the quarters of a single pullet: The victuals of the under servants
were weighed out in ounces, by the Don himself; with so much garlic in
the other scale: A thin slice of bacon went through the family a week
together; for it was daily put into the pot for pottage; was served in
the midst of the dish at dinners, and taken out and weighed by the
steward, at the end of every meal, to see how much it lost; till, at
length, looking at it against the sun, it appeared transparent, and
then he would have whipped it up, as his own fees, at a morsel; but
that his lord barred the dice, and reckoned it to him for a part of
his board wages.

_Beam. _ In few words, madam, the general notion we had of them, was,
that they were very frugal of their Spanish coin, and very liberal of
their Neapolitan.

_Jul. _ I see, gentlemen, you are in the way of rallying; therefore let
me be no hinderance to your sport; do as much for one another as you
have done for our nation. Pray, Mynheer Fiscal, what think you of the
English?

_Fisc. _ Oh, I have an honour for the country.

_Beam. _ I beseech you, leave your ceremony; we can hear of our faults
without choler; therefore speak of us with a true Amsterdam spirit,
and do not spare us.

_Fisc. _ Since you command me, sir, 'tis said of you, I know not how
truly, that for your fishery at home, you're like dogs in the manger,
you will neither manage it yourselves, nor permit your neighbours; so
that for your sovereignty of the narrow seas, if the inhabitants of
them, the herrings, were capable of being judges, they would certainly
award it to the English, because they were then sure to live
undisturbed, and quiet under you.

_Beam. _ Very good; proceed, sir.

_Fisc. _ 'Tis true, you gave us aid in our time of need, but you paid
yourselves with our cautionary towns: And, that you have since
delivered them up, we can never give sufficient commendation, either
to your honesty, or to your wit; for both which qualities you have
purchased such an immortal fame, that all nations are instructed how
to deal with you another time.

_Beam. _ A most grateful acknowledgment; sweet sir, go on.

_Fisc. _ For your trade abroad, if you should obtain it, you are so
horribly expensive, that you would undo yourselves and all
Christendom; for you would sink under your very profit, and the gains
of the universal world would beggar you: You devour a voyage to the
Indies, by the multitude of mouths with which you man your vessels:
Providence has contrived it well, that the Indies are managed by us,
an industrious and frugal people, who distribute its merchandise to
the rest of Europe, and suffer it not to be consumed in England, that
the other members might be starved, while you of Great Britain, as you
call it, like a rickety head, would only swell and grow bigger by it.

_Jul. _ I have heard enough of England; have you nothing to return upon
the Netherlands?

_Beam. _ Faith, very little to any purpose; he has been beforehand with
us, as his countrymen are in their trade, and taken up so many vices
for the use of England, that he has left almost none for the Low
Countries.

_Jul. _ Come, a word, however.

_Beam. _ In the first place, you shewed your ambition when you began to
be a state: For not being gentlemen, you have stolen the arms of the
best families of Europe; and wanting a name, you made bold with the
first of the divine attributes, and called yourselves the High and
Mighty: though, let me tell you, that, besides the blasphemy, the
title is ridiculous; for High is no more proper for the Netherlands,
than Mighty is for seven little rascally provinces, no bigger in all
than a shire in England. For my main theme, your ingratitude, you have
in part acknowledged it, by your laughing at our easy delivery of your
cautionary towns: The best is, we are used by you as well as your own
princes of the house of Orange: We and they have set you up, and you
undermine their power, and circumvent our trade.

_Fisc. _ And good reason, if our interest requires it.

_Beam. _ That leads me to your religion, which is only made up of
interest: At home, you tolerate all worships in them who can pay for
it; and abroad, you were lately so civil to the emperor of Pegu, as to
do open sacrifice to his idols.

_Fisc. _ Yes, and by the same token, you English were such precise
fools as to refuse it.

_Beam. _ For frugality in trading, we confess we cannot compare with
you; for our merchants live like noblemen; your gentlemen, if you have
any, live like boors. You traffic for all the rarities of the world,
and dare use none of them yourselves; so that, in effect, you are the
mill-horses of mankind, that labour only for the wretched provender
you eat: A pot of butter and a pickled herring is all your riches;
and, in short, you have a good title to cheat all Europe, because, in
the first place, you cozen your own backs and bellies.

_Fisc. _ We may enjoy more whenever we please.

_Beam. _ Your liberty is a grosser cheat than any of the rest; for you
are ten times more taxed than any people in Christendom: You never
keep any league with foreign princes; you flatter our kings, and ruin
their subjects; you never denied us satisfaction at home for injuries,
nor ever gave it us abroad.

_Fisc. _ You must make yourselves more feared, when you expect it.

_Beam. _ And I prophecy that time will come, when some generous monarch
of our island will undertake our quarrel, reassume the fishery of our
seas, and make them as considerable to the English, as the Indies are
to you.

_Fisc. _ Before that comes to pass, you may repent your over-lavish
tongue.

_Beam. _ I was no more in earnest than you were.

_Jul. _ Pray let this go no further; my husband has invited both to
supper.

_Beam. _ If you please, I'll fall to before he comes; or, at least,
while he is conferring in private with the Fiscal. [_Aside to her. _

_Jul. _ Their private businesses let them agree;
The Dutch for him, the Englishman for me. [_Exeunt. _


ACT III. SCENE I.

_Enter_ PEREZ.

_Per. _ True, the reward proposed is great enough, I want it too;
besides, this Englishman has never paid me since, as his lieutenant, I
served him once against the Turk at sea; yet he confessed I did my
duty well, when twice I cleared our decks; he has long promised me,
but what are promises to starving men? this is his house, he may walk
out this morning.

_Enter a Page, and another Servant, walking by, not seeing him. _

These belong to him; I'll hide till they are past.

_Serv. _ He sleeps soundly for a man who is to be married when he
wakes.

_Page. _ He does well to take his time; for he does not know, when he's
married, whether ever he shall have a sound sleep again.

_Serv. _ He bid we should not wake him; but some of us, in good
manners, should have staid, and not have left him quite alone.

_Page. _ In good manners, I should indeed; but I'll venture a master's
anger at any time for a mistress, and that's my case at present.

_Serv. _ I'll tempt as great a danger as that comes to, for good old
English fellowship; I am invited to a morning's draught.

_Page. _ Good-morrow, brother, good-morrow; by that time you have
filled your belly, and I have emptied mine, it will be time to meet at
home again. [_Exeunt severally. _

_Per. _ So, this makes well for my design; he's left alone, unguarded,
and asleep: Satan, thou art a bounteous friend, and liberal of
occasions to do mischief; my pardon I have ready, if I am taken, my
money half beforehand: up, Perez, rouse thy Spanish courage up; if he
should wake, I think I dare attempt him; then my revenge is nobler,
and revenge, to injured men, is full as sweet as profit. [_Exit. _


SCENE II.

_The_ SCENE _drawn, discovers_ TOWERSON _asleep on a Couch in his
Night-gown. A Table by him; Pen, Ink, and Paper on it. _

_Re-enter_ PEREZ _with a Dagger. _

_Per. _ Asleep, as I imagined, and as fast as all the plummets of
eternal night were hung upon his temples. Oh that some courteous
dæmon, in the other world, would let him know, 'twas Perez sent him
thither! A paper by him too! He little thinks it is his testament; the
last he e'er shall make: I'll read it first. [_Takes it up. _] Oh, by
the inscription, 'tis a memorial of what he means to do this day:
What's here? My name in the first line! I'll read it. [_Reads. _]
_Memorandum, That my first action this morning shall be, to find out
my true and valiant lieutenant, captain Perez; and, as a testimony of
my gratitude for his honourable services, to bestow on him five
hundred English pounds, making my just excuse, I had it not before
within my power to reward him. _ [_Lays down the paper. _] And was it
then for this I sought his life? Oh base, degenerate Spaniard! Hadst
thou done it, thou hadst been worse than damned: Heaven took more care
of me, than I of him, to expose this paper to my timely view. Sleep
on, thou honourable Englishman; I'll sooner now pierce my own breast
than thine: See, he smiles too in his slumber, as if his guardian
angel, in a dream, told him, he was secure: I'll give him warning
though, to prevent danger from another hand.
[_Writes on_ TOWERSON'S _paper, then sticks his dagger in it. _
Stick there, that when he wakens, he may know,
To his own virtue he his life does owe. [_Exit_ PEREZ.

TOWERSON _awakens. _

_Tow. _ I have o'erslept my hour this morning, if to enjoy a pleasing
dream can be to sleep too long. Methought my dear Isabinda and myself
were lying in an arbour, wreathed about with myrtle and with cypress;
my rival Harman, reconciled again to his friendship, strewed us with
flowers, and put on each a crimson-coloured garment, in which we
straightway mounted to the skies; and with us, many of my English
friends, all clad in the same robes. If dreams have any meaning, sure
this portends some good. --What's that I see! A dagger stuck into the
paper of my memorials, and writ below--_Thy virtue saved thy life! _ It
seems some one has been within my chamber whilst I slept: Something of
consequence hangs upon this accident. What, ho! who waits without?
None answer me? Are ye all dead? What, ho!

_Enter_ BEAMONT.

_Beam. _ How is it, friend? I thought, entering your house, I heard you
call.

_Tow. _ I did, but as it seems without effect; none of my servants are
within reach of my voice.

_Beam. _ You seem amazed at somewhat?

_Tow. _ A little discomposed: read that, and see if I have no occasion;
that dagger was stuck there, by him who writ it.

_Beam. _ I must confess you have too just a cause: I am myself
surprised at an event so strange.

_Tow. _ I know not who can be my enemy within this island, except my
rival Harman; and for him, I truly did relate what passed betwixt us
yesterday.

_Beam. _ You bore yourself in that as it became you, as one who was a
witness to himself of his own courage; and while, by necessary care of
others, you were forced to decline fighting, shewed how much you did
despise the man who sought the quarrel: 'Twas base in him, so backed
as he is here, to offer it, much more to press you to it.

_Tow. _ I may find a foot of ground in Europe to tell the insulting
youth, he better had provoked some other man; but sure I cannot think
'twas he who left that dagger there.

_Beam. _ No, for it seems too great a nobleness of spirit, for one like
him to practise: 'Twas certainly an enemy, who came to take your
sleeping life; but thus to leave unfinished the design, proclaims the
act no Dutchman's.

_Tow_ That time will best discover; I'll think no further of it.

_Beam. _ I confess you have more pleasing thoughts to employ your mind
at present; I left your bride just ready for the temple, and came to
call you to her.

_Tow. _ I'll straight attend you thither.

_Enter_ HARMAN _Sen. _ FISCAL, _and_ VAN HERRING.

_Fisc. _ Remember, sir, what I advised you; you must seemingly make up
the business. [_To_ HAR. _Sen. _

_Har. Sen. _ I warrant you. --What, my brave bonny bridegroom, not yet
dressed? You are a lazy lover; I must chide you. [_To_ TOWERSON.

_Tow. _ I was just preparing.

_Har. Sen. _ I must prevent part of the ceremony: You thought to go to
her; she is by this time at the castle, where she is invited with our
common friends; for you shall give me leave, if you so please, to
entertain you both.

_Tow. _ I have some reasons, why I must refuse the honour you intend
me.

_Har. Sen. _ You must have none: What! my old friend steal a wedding
from me? In troth, you wrong our friendship.

_Beam. _ [_To him aside. _] Sir, go not to the castle; you cannot, in
honour, accept an invitation from the father, after an affront from
the son.

_Tow. _ Once more I beg your pardon, sir.

_Har. Sen. _ Come, come, I know your reason of refusal, but it must not
prevail: My son has been to blame; I'll not maintain him in the least
neglect, which he should show to any Englishman, much less to you, the
best and most esteemed of all my friends.

_Tow. _ I should be willing, sir, to think it was a young man's
rashness, or perhaps the rage of a successless rival; yet he might
have spared some words.

_Har. Sen. _ Friend, he shall ask your pardon, or I'll no longer own
him; what, ungrateful to a man, whose valour has preserved him? He
shall do it, he shall indeed; I'll make you friends upon your own
conditions; he's at the door, pray let him be admitted; this is a day
of general jubilee.

_Tow. _ You command here, you know, sir.

_Fisc. _ I'll call him in; I am sure he will be proud, at any rate, to
redeem your kind opinion of him. [_Exit. _

FISCAL _re-enters,_ with HARMAN _Junior. _

_Har. Jun. _ Sir, my father, I hope, has in part satisfied you, that
what I spoke was only an effect of sudden passion, of which I am now
ashamed; and desire it may be no longer lodged in your remembrance,
than it is now in my intention to do you any injury.