_ He that is beat shall make and repeat
_extempore_
a Distich, in
Praise of him that beat him.
Praise of him that beat him.
Erasmus
_ And I value my Corps more than my Money: We must play for
something, or we shall never play our best.
_Nic. _ You say true.
_Jer. _ Which Hand soever shall get the first three Games, shall pay the
sixth Part of a Groat to the other; but upon Condition that what's won
shall be spent among all the Company alike.
_Nic. _ Well, I like the Proposal; come done, let's chuse Hands; but we
are all so equally match'd, that it's no great Matter who and who's
together.
_Jer. _ You play a great Deal better than I.
_Nic. _ But for all that, you have the better Luck.
_Jer. _ Has Fortune anything to do at this Play?
_Nic. _ She has to do everywhere.
_Jer. _ Well, come let's toss up. O Boys, very well indeed. I have got
the Partners I would have.
_Nic. _ And we like our Partners very well.
_Jer. _ Come on, now for't, he that will win, must look to his Game. Let
every one stand to his Place bravely. Do you stand behind me ready to
catch the Ball, if it goes beyond me; do you mind there, and beat it
back when it comes from our Adversaries.
_Nic. _ I'll warrant ye, I'll hit it if it comes near me.
_Jer. _ Go on and prosper, throw up the Ball upon the House. He that
throws and do's not speak first shall lose his Cast.
_Nic. _ Well, take it then.
_Jer. _ Do you toss it; if you throw it beyond the Bounds, or short, or
over the House, it shall go for nothing, and we won't be cheated: And
truly you throw nastily. As you toss it, I'll give it you again; I'll
give you _a Rowland for an Oliver_; but it is better to play fairly and
honestly.
_Nic. _ It is best at Diversion, to beat by fair Play.
_Jer. _ It is so, and in War too; these Arts have each their respective
Laws: There are some Arts that are very unfair ones.
_Nic. _ I believe so too, and more than seven too. Mark the Bounds with a
Shell, or Brick-bat, or with your Hat if you will.
_Jer. _ I'd rather do it with yours.
_Nic. _ Take the Ball again.
_Jer. _ Throw it; score it up.
_Nic. _ We have two good wide Goals.
_Jer. _ Pretty wide, but they are not out of Reach.
_Nic. _ They may be reach'd if no Body hinders it.
_Jer. _ O brave, I have gone beyond the first Goal. We are fifteen. Play
stoutly, we had got this too, if you had stood in your Place. Well, now
we are equal.
_Nic. _ But you shan't be so long. Well, we are thirty; we are forty
five.
_Jer. _ What, Sesterces?
_Nic. _ No.
_Jer. _ What then?
_Nic. _ Numbers.
_Jer. _ What signifies Numbers, if you have nothing to pay?
_Nic. _ We have gotten this Game.
_Jer. _ You are a little too hasty; _you reckon your Chickens before they
are hatch'd_. I have seen those lose the Game that have had so many for
Love. War and Play is a meer Lottery. We have got thirty, now we are
equal again.
_Nic. _ This is the Game Stroke. O brave! we have got the better of you.
_Jer. _ Well, but you shan't have it long; did I not say so? We are
equally fortunate.
_Nic. _ Fortune inclines first to one side, and then to t'other, as if
she could not tell which to give the Victory to. Fortune, be but on our
Side, and we'll help thee to a Husband. O rare! She has answer'd her
Desire, we have got this Game, set it up, that we mayn't forget.
_Jer. _ It is almost Night, and we have play'd enough, we had better
leave off, too much of one Thing is good for nothing, let us reckon our
Winnings.
_Nic. _ We have won three Groats, and you have won two; then there is one
to be spent. But who must pay for the Balls?
_Jer. _ All alike, every one his Part. For there is so little won, we
can't take any Thing from that.
* * * * *
_2. BOWL PLAYING. _
_ADOLPHUS, BERNARDUS_, the Arbitrators.
_Adol. _ You have been often bragging what a mighty Gamester you were at
Bowls. Come now, I have a Mind to try what a one you are.
_Ber. _ I'll answer you, if you have a Mind to that Sport. Now you'll
find according to the Proverb; _You have met with your Match. _
_Adol. _ Well, and you shall find I am a Match for you too.
_Ber. _ Shall we play single Hands or double Hands?
_Adol. _ I had rather play single, that another may not come in with me
for a Share of the Victory.
_Ber. _ And I had rather have it so too, that the Victory may be entirely
my own.
_Adol. _ They shall look on, and be Judges.
_Ber. _ I take you up; But what shall he that beats get, or he that is
beaten lose?
_Adol. _ What if he that beats shall have a Piece of his Ear cut off.
_Ber. _ Nay, rather let one of his Stones be cut out. It is a mean Thing
to play for Money; you are a _Frenchman_, and I a _German_, we'll both
play for the Honour of his Country.
_Adol. _ If I shall beat you, you shall cry out thrice, let _France_
flourish; If I shall be beat (which I hope I shan't) I'll in the same
Words celebrate your _Germany_.
_Ber. _ Well, a Match. Now for good Luck; since two great Nations are at
Stake in this Game, let the Bowls be both alike.
_Adol. _ Do you see that Stone that lies by the Port there.
_Ber. _ Yes I do.
_Adol. _ That shall be the Jack.
_Ber. _ Very well, let it be so; but I say let the Bowls be alike.
_Adol. _ They are as like as two Peas. Take which you please, it's all
one to me.
_Ber. _ Bowl away.
_Adol. _ Hey-day, you whirl your Bowl as if your Arm was a Sling.
_Ber. _ You have bit your Lip, and whirled your Bowl long enough: Come
bowl away. A strong Bowl indeed, but I am best.
_Adol. _ If it had not been for that mischievous Bit of a Brick-bat
there, that lay in my Way, I had beat you off.
_Ber. _ Stand fair.
_Adol. _ I won't cheat: I intend to beat you, by Art, and not to cheat
ye, since we contend for the Prize of Honour: Rub, rub.
_Ber. _ A great Cast in Troth.
_Adol. _ Nay, don't laugh before you've won. We are equal yet.
_Ber. _ This is who shall: He that first hits the Jack is up. I have beat
you, sing.
_Adol. _ Stay, you should have said how many you'd make up, for my Hand
is not come in yet.
_Ber. _ Judgment, Gentlemen.
_Arbitr. _ 3.
_Adol. _ Very well.
_Ber. _ Well, what do you say now? Are you beat or no?
_Adol. _ You have had better Luck than I, but yet I won't vail to you, as
to Strength and Art; I'll stand to what the Company says.
_Arb. _ The _German_ has beat, and the Victory is the more glorious, that
he has beat so good a Gamester.
_Ber. _ Now Cock, crow.
_Adol. _ I am hoarse.
_Ber. _ That's no new Thing to Cocks; but if you can't crow like an old
Cock, crow like a Cockeril.
_Adol. _ Let _Germany_ flourish thrice.
_Ber. _ You ought to have said so thrice. I am a-dry; let us drink
somewhere, I'll make an end of the Song there.
_Adol. _ I won't stand upon that, if the Company likes it.
_Arb. _ That will be the best, the Cock will crow clearer when his Throat
is gargled.
* * * * *
_3. The Play of striking a Ball through an Iron Ring.
GASPAR, ERASMUS.
Gas. _ Come, let's begin, _Marcolphus_ shall come in, in the Losers
Place.
_Er. _ But what shall we play for?
_Gas.
_ He that is beat shall make and repeat _extempore_ a Distich, in
Praise of him that beat him.
_Er. _ With all my Heart.
_Gas. _ Shall we toss up who shall go first?
_Er. _ Do you go first if you will, I had rather go last.
_Gas. _ You have the better of me, because you know the Ground.
_Er. _ You're upon your own Ground.
_Gas. _ Indeed I am better acquainted with the Ground, than I am with my
Books; but that's but a small Commendation.
_Er. _ You that are so good a Gamester ought to give me Odds.
_Gas. _ Nay, you should rather give me Odds; but there's no great Honour
in getting a Victory, when Odds is taken: He only can properly be said
to get the Game, that gets it by his own Art; we are as well match'd as
can be.
_Er. _ Yours is a better Ball than mine.
_Gas. _ And yours is beyond me.
_Er. _ Play fair, without cheating and cozening.
_Gas. _ You shall say you have had to do with a fair Gamester.
_Er. _ But I would first know the Orders of the Bowling-alley.
_Gas. _ We make 4 up; whoever bowls beyond this Line it goes for nothing;
if you can go beyond those other Bounds, do it fairly and welcome:
Whoever hits a Bowl out of his Place loses his Cast.
_Er. _ I understand these Things.
_Gas. _ I have shut you out.
_Er. _ But I'll give you a Remove.
_Gas. _ If you do that I'll give you the Game.
_Er. _ Will you upon your Word?
_Gas. _ Yes, upon my Word: You have no other Way for it but to bank your
Bowl so as to make it rebound on mine.
_Er. _ I'll try: Well, what say you now Friend? Are not you beaten away?
(Have I not struck you away? )
_Gas. _ I am, I confess it; I wish you were but as wise as you are lucky;
you can scarce do so once in a hundred Times.
_Er. _ I'll lay you, if you will, that I do it once in three Times. But
come pay me what I have won.
_Gas. _ What's that?
_Er. _ Why, a Distich.
_Gas. _ Well, I'll pay it now.
_Er. _ And an extempore one too. Why do you bite your Nails?
_Gas. _ I have it.
_Er. _ Recite it out.
_Gas. _ As loud as you will.
_Young Standers-by, dap ye the Conqueror brave,
Who me has beat, is the more learned Knave_.
Han't you a Distich now?
_Er. _ I have, and I'll give you as good as you bring.
* * * * *
4. _Leaping. _
VINCENT, LAURENCE.
_Vi. _ Have you a Mind to jump with me?
_Lau. _ That Play is not good presently after Dinner.
_Vi. _ Why so?
_Lau. _ Because that a Fulness of Belly makes the Body heavy.
_Vi. _ Not very much to those that live upon Scholars Commons, for these
oftentimes are ready for a Supper before they have done Dinner.
_Lau. _ What Sort of leaping is it that you like best?
_Vi. _ Let us first begin with that which is the plainest, as that of
Grasshoppers; or Leap-frog, if you like that better, both Feet at once,
and close to one another; and when we have play'd enough at this, then
we'll try other Sorts.
_Lau. _ I'll play at any Sort, where there is no Danger of breaking ones
Legs; I have no Mind to make Work for the Surgeon.
_Vi. _ What if we should play at hopping?
_Lau. _ That the Ghosts play, I am not for that.
_Vi. _ It's the cleverest Way to leap with a Pole.
_Lau. _ Running is a more noble Exercise; for _Æneas_ in _Virgil_
proposed this Exercise.
_Vi. _ Very true, and he also propos'd the righting with Whirly-bats too,
and I don't like that Sport.
_Lau. _ Mark the Course, let this be the Starting-place, and yonder Oak
the Goal.
_Vi. _ I wish _Æneas_ was here, that he might propose what should be the
Conqueror's Prize.
_Lau. _ Glory is a Reward sufficient for Victory.
_Vi. _ You should rather give a Reward to him that is beat, to comfort
him.
_Lau. _ Then let the Victor's Reward be to go into the Town crowned with
a Bur.
_Vi. _ Well, 'tis done, provided you'll go before playing upon a Pipe.
_Lau. _ It is very hot.
_Vi. _ That is not strange when it is Midsummer.
_Lau. _ Swimming is better.
_Vi. _ I don't love to live like a Frog, I am a Land Animal, not an
amphibious one.
_Lau. _ But in old Time this was look'd upon to be one of the most noble
Exercises.
_Vi. _ Nay, and a very useful one too.
_Lau. _ For What?
_Vi. _ If Men are forc'd to fly in Battel, they are in the best Condition
that can run and swim best.
_Lau. _ The Art you speak of is not to be set light by; it is as
Praise-worthy sometimes to run away nimbly as it is to fight stoutly.
_Vi. _ I can't swim at all, and it is dangerous to converse with an
unaccustomed Element.
_Lau. _ You ought to learn then, for no Body was born an Artist.
_Vi. _ But I have heard of a great many of these Artists that have swum
in, but never swam out again.
_Lau. _ First try with Corks.
_Vi. _ I can't trust more to a Cork than to my Feet; if you have a Mind
to swim, I had rather be a Spectator than an Actor.
_The CHILD'S PIETY. _
The ARGUMENT.
_This Discourse furnishes a childish Mind with pious
Instructions of Religion, in what it consists. What is to
be done in the Morning in Bed, at getting up, at Home, at
School, before Meat, after Meat, before going to Sleep.
Of beginning the Day, of praying, of behaving themselves
studiously at School, Thriftiness of Time: Age flies.
What is to be done after Supper. How we ought to sleep.
Of Behaviour at holy Worship. All Things to be applied to
ourselves. The Meditation of a pious Soul at Church. What
Preachers are chiefly to be heard. Fasting is prejudicial
to Children. Confession is to be made to Christ. The
Society of wicked Persons is to be avoided. Of the
prudent chusing a Way of Living. Holy Orders and
Matrimony are not to be entred into before the Age of
Twenty-two. What Poets are fit to be read, and how. _
ERASMUS, GASPAR.
_ERASMUS. _ Whence came you from? Out of some Alehouse?
_Ga. _ No, indeed.
_Er. _ What from a Bowling Green?
_Ga. _ No, nor from thence neither.
_Er. _ What from the Tavern then?
_Ga. _ No.
_Er. _ Well, since I can't guess, tell me.
_Ga. _ From St. _Mary's_ Church.
_Er. _ What Business had you there?
_Ga. _ I saluted some Persons.
_Er. _ Who?
_Ga. _ Christ, and some of the Saints.
_Er. _ You have more Religion than is common to one of your Age.
_Ga. _ Religion is becoming to every Age.
_Er. _ If I had a Mind to be religious, I'd become a Monk.
_Ga. _ And so would I too, if a Monk's Hood carried in it as much Piety
as it does Warmth.
_Er. _ There is an old Saying, a young Saint and an old Devil.
_Ga. _ But I believe that old Saying came from old Satan: I can hardly
think an old Man to be truly religious, that has not been so in his
young Days. Nothing is learn'd to greater Advantage, than what we learn
in our youngest Years.
_Er. _ What is that which is call'd Religion?
_Ga. _ It is the pure Worship of God, and Observation of his
Commandments.
_Er. _ What are they?
something, or we shall never play our best.
_Nic. _ You say true.
_Jer. _ Which Hand soever shall get the first three Games, shall pay the
sixth Part of a Groat to the other; but upon Condition that what's won
shall be spent among all the Company alike.
_Nic. _ Well, I like the Proposal; come done, let's chuse Hands; but we
are all so equally match'd, that it's no great Matter who and who's
together.
_Jer. _ You play a great Deal better than I.
_Nic. _ But for all that, you have the better Luck.
_Jer. _ Has Fortune anything to do at this Play?
_Nic. _ She has to do everywhere.
_Jer. _ Well, come let's toss up. O Boys, very well indeed. I have got
the Partners I would have.
_Nic. _ And we like our Partners very well.
_Jer. _ Come on, now for't, he that will win, must look to his Game. Let
every one stand to his Place bravely. Do you stand behind me ready to
catch the Ball, if it goes beyond me; do you mind there, and beat it
back when it comes from our Adversaries.
_Nic. _ I'll warrant ye, I'll hit it if it comes near me.
_Jer. _ Go on and prosper, throw up the Ball upon the House. He that
throws and do's not speak first shall lose his Cast.
_Nic. _ Well, take it then.
_Jer. _ Do you toss it; if you throw it beyond the Bounds, or short, or
over the House, it shall go for nothing, and we won't be cheated: And
truly you throw nastily. As you toss it, I'll give it you again; I'll
give you _a Rowland for an Oliver_; but it is better to play fairly and
honestly.
_Nic. _ It is best at Diversion, to beat by fair Play.
_Jer. _ It is so, and in War too; these Arts have each their respective
Laws: There are some Arts that are very unfair ones.
_Nic. _ I believe so too, and more than seven too. Mark the Bounds with a
Shell, or Brick-bat, or with your Hat if you will.
_Jer. _ I'd rather do it with yours.
_Nic. _ Take the Ball again.
_Jer. _ Throw it; score it up.
_Nic. _ We have two good wide Goals.
_Jer. _ Pretty wide, but they are not out of Reach.
_Nic. _ They may be reach'd if no Body hinders it.
_Jer. _ O brave, I have gone beyond the first Goal. We are fifteen. Play
stoutly, we had got this too, if you had stood in your Place. Well, now
we are equal.
_Nic. _ But you shan't be so long. Well, we are thirty; we are forty
five.
_Jer. _ What, Sesterces?
_Nic. _ No.
_Jer. _ What then?
_Nic. _ Numbers.
_Jer. _ What signifies Numbers, if you have nothing to pay?
_Nic. _ We have gotten this Game.
_Jer. _ You are a little too hasty; _you reckon your Chickens before they
are hatch'd_. I have seen those lose the Game that have had so many for
Love. War and Play is a meer Lottery. We have got thirty, now we are
equal again.
_Nic. _ This is the Game Stroke. O brave! we have got the better of you.
_Jer. _ Well, but you shan't have it long; did I not say so? We are
equally fortunate.
_Nic. _ Fortune inclines first to one side, and then to t'other, as if
she could not tell which to give the Victory to. Fortune, be but on our
Side, and we'll help thee to a Husband. O rare! She has answer'd her
Desire, we have got this Game, set it up, that we mayn't forget.
_Jer. _ It is almost Night, and we have play'd enough, we had better
leave off, too much of one Thing is good for nothing, let us reckon our
Winnings.
_Nic. _ We have won three Groats, and you have won two; then there is one
to be spent. But who must pay for the Balls?
_Jer. _ All alike, every one his Part. For there is so little won, we
can't take any Thing from that.
* * * * *
_2. BOWL PLAYING. _
_ADOLPHUS, BERNARDUS_, the Arbitrators.
_Adol. _ You have been often bragging what a mighty Gamester you were at
Bowls. Come now, I have a Mind to try what a one you are.
_Ber. _ I'll answer you, if you have a Mind to that Sport. Now you'll
find according to the Proverb; _You have met with your Match. _
_Adol. _ Well, and you shall find I am a Match for you too.
_Ber. _ Shall we play single Hands or double Hands?
_Adol. _ I had rather play single, that another may not come in with me
for a Share of the Victory.
_Ber. _ And I had rather have it so too, that the Victory may be entirely
my own.
_Adol. _ They shall look on, and be Judges.
_Ber. _ I take you up; But what shall he that beats get, or he that is
beaten lose?
_Adol. _ What if he that beats shall have a Piece of his Ear cut off.
_Ber. _ Nay, rather let one of his Stones be cut out. It is a mean Thing
to play for Money; you are a _Frenchman_, and I a _German_, we'll both
play for the Honour of his Country.
_Adol. _ If I shall beat you, you shall cry out thrice, let _France_
flourish; If I shall be beat (which I hope I shan't) I'll in the same
Words celebrate your _Germany_.
_Ber. _ Well, a Match. Now for good Luck; since two great Nations are at
Stake in this Game, let the Bowls be both alike.
_Adol. _ Do you see that Stone that lies by the Port there.
_Ber. _ Yes I do.
_Adol. _ That shall be the Jack.
_Ber. _ Very well, let it be so; but I say let the Bowls be alike.
_Adol. _ They are as like as two Peas. Take which you please, it's all
one to me.
_Ber. _ Bowl away.
_Adol. _ Hey-day, you whirl your Bowl as if your Arm was a Sling.
_Ber. _ You have bit your Lip, and whirled your Bowl long enough: Come
bowl away. A strong Bowl indeed, but I am best.
_Adol. _ If it had not been for that mischievous Bit of a Brick-bat
there, that lay in my Way, I had beat you off.
_Ber. _ Stand fair.
_Adol. _ I won't cheat: I intend to beat you, by Art, and not to cheat
ye, since we contend for the Prize of Honour: Rub, rub.
_Ber. _ A great Cast in Troth.
_Adol. _ Nay, don't laugh before you've won. We are equal yet.
_Ber. _ This is who shall: He that first hits the Jack is up. I have beat
you, sing.
_Adol. _ Stay, you should have said how many you'd make up, for my Hand
is not come in yet.
_Ber. _ Judgment, Gentlemen.
_Arbitr. _ 3.
_Adol. _ Very well.
_Ber. _ Well, what do you say now? Are you beat or no?
_Adol. _ You have had better Luck than I, but yet I won't vail to you, as
to Strength and Art; I'll stand to what the Company says.
_Arb. _ The _German_ has beat, and the Victory is the more glorious, that
he has beat so good a Gamester.
_Ber. _ Now Cock, crow.
_Adol. _ I am hoarse.
_Ber. _ That's no new Thing to Cocks; but if you can't crow like an old
Cock, crow like a Cockeril.
_Adol. _ Let _Germany_ flourish thrice.
_Ber. _ You ought to have said so thrice. I am a-dry; let us drink
somewhere, I'll make an end of the Song there.
_Adol. _ I won't stand upon that, if the Company likes it.
_Arb. _ That will be the best, the Cock will crow clearer when his Throat
is gargled.
* * * * *
_3. The Play of striking a Ball through an Iron Ring.
GASPAR, ERASMUS.
Gas. _ Come, let's begin, _Marcolphus_ shall come in, in the Losers
Place.
_Er. _ But what shall we play for?
_Gas.
_ He that is beat shall make and repeat _extempore_ a Distich, in
Praise of him that beat him.
_Er. _ With all my Heart.
_Gas. _ Shall we toss up who shall go first?
_Er. _ Do you go first if you will, I had rather go last.
_Gas. _ You have the better of me, because you know the Ground.
_Er. _ You're upon your own Ground.
_Gas. _ Indeed I am better acquainted with the Ground, than I am with my
Books; but that's but a small Commendation.
_Er. _ You that are so good a Gamester ought to give me Odds.
_Gas. _ Nay, you should rather give me Odds; but there's no great Honour
in getting a Victory, when Odds is taken: He only can properly be said
to get the Game, that gets it by his own Art; we are as well match'd as
can be.
_Er. _ Yours is a better Ball than mine.
_Gas. _ And yours is beyond me.
_Er. _ Play fair, without cheating and cozening.
_Gas. _ You shall say you have had to do with a fair Gamester.
_Er. _ But I would first know the Orders of the Bowling-alley.
_Gas. _ We make 4 up; whoever bowls beyond this Line it goes for nothing;
if you can go beyond those other Bounds, do it fairly and welcome:
Whoever hits a Bowl out of his Place loses his Cast.
_Er. _ I understand these Things.
_Gas. _ I have shut you out.
_Er. _ But I'll give you a Remove.
_Gas. _ If you do that I'll give you the Game.
_Er. _ Will you upon your Word?
_Gas. _ Yes, upon my Word: You have no other Way for it but to bank your
Bowl so as to make it rebound on mine.
_Er. _ I'll try: Well, what say you now Friend? Are not you beaten away?
(Have I not struck you away? )
_Gas. _ I am, I confess it; I wish you were but as wise as you are lucky;
you can scarce do so once in a hundred Times.
_Er. _ I'll lay you, if you will, that I do it once in three Times. But
come pay me what I have won.
_Gas. _ What's that?
_Er. _ Why, a Distich.
_Gas. _ Well, I'll pay it now.
_Er. _ And an extempore one too. Why do you bite your Nails?
_Gas. _ I have it.
_Er. _ Recite it out.
_Gas. _ As loud as you will.
_Young Standers-by, dap ye the Conqueror brave,
Who me has beat, is the more learned Knave_.
Han't you a Distich now?
_Er. _ I have, and I'll give you as good as you bring.
* * * * *
4. _Leaping. _
VINCENT, LAURENCE.
_Vi. _ Have you a Mind to jump with me?
_Lau. _ That Play is not good presently after Dinner.
_Vi. _ Why so?
_Lau. _ Because that a Fulness of Belly makes the Body heavy.
_Vi. _ Not very much to those that live upon Scholars Commons, for these
oftentimes are ready for a Supper before they have done Dinner.
_Lau. _ What Sort of leaping is it that you like best?
_Vi. _ Let us first begin with that which is the plainest, as that of
Grasshoppers; or Leap-frog, if you like that better, both Feet at once,
and close to one another; and when we have play'd enough at this, then
we'll try other Sorts.
_Lau. _ I'll play at any Sort, where there is no Danger of breaking ones
Legs; I have no Mind to make Work for the Surgeon.
_Vi. _ What if we should play at hopping?
_Lau. _ That the Ghosts play, I am not for that.
_Vi. _ It's the cleverest Way to leap with a Pole.
_Lau. _ Running is a more noble Exercise; for _Æneas_ in _Virgil_
proposed this Exercise.
_Vi. _ Very true, and he also propos'd the righting with Whirly-bats too,
and I don't like that Sport.
_Lau. _ Mark the Course, let this be the Starting-place, and yonder Oak
the Goal.
_Vi. _ I wish _Æneas_ was here, that he might propose what should be the
Conqueror's Prize.
_Lau. _ Glory is a Reward sufficient for Victory.
_Vi. _ You should rather give a Reward to him that is beat, to comfort
him.
_Lau. _ Then let the Victor's Reward be to go into the Town crowned with
a Bur.
_Vi. _ Well, 'tis done, provided you'll go before playing upon a Pipe.
_Lau. _ It is very hot.
_Vi. _ That is not strange when it is Midsummer.
_Lau. _ Swimming is better.
_Vi. _ I don't love to live like a Frog, I am a Land Animal, not an
amphibious one.
_Lau. _ But in old Time this was look'd upon to be one of the most noble
Exercises.
_Vi. _ Nay, and a very useful one too.
_Lau. _ For What?
_Vi. _ If Men are forc'd to fly in Battel, they are in the best Condition
that can run and swim best.
_Lau. _ The Art you speak of is not to be set light by; it is as
Praise-worthy sometimes to run away nimbly as it is to fight stoutly.
_Vi. _ I can't swim at all, and it is dangerous to converse with an
unaccustomed Element.
_Lau. _ You ought to learn then, for no Body was born an Artist.
_Vi. _ But I have heard of a great many of these Artists that have swum
in, but never swam out again.
_Lau. _ First try with Corks.
_Vi. _ I can't trust more to a Cork than to my Feet; if you have a Mind
to swim, I had rather be a Spectator than an Actor.
_The CHILD'S PIETY. _
The ARGUMENT.
_This Discourse furnishes a childish Mind with pious
Instructions of Religion, in what it consists. What is to
be done in the Morning in Bed, at getting up, at Home, at
School, before Meat, after Meat, before going to Sleep.
Of beginning the Day, of praying, of behaving themselves
studiously at School, Thriftiness of Time: Age flies.
What is to be done after Supper. How we ought to sleep.
Of Behaviour at holy Worship. All Things to be applied to
ourselves. The Meditation of a pious Soul at Church. What
Preachers are chiefly to be heard. Fasting is prejudicial
to Children. Confession is to be made to Christ. The
Society of wicked Persons is to be avoided. Of the
prudent chusing a Way of Living. Holy Orders and
Matrimony are not to be entred into before the Age of
Twenty-two. What Poets are fit to be read, and how. _
ERASMUS, GASPAR.
_ERASMUS. _ Whence came you from? Out of some Alehouse?
_Ga. _ No, indeed.
_Er. _ What from a Bowling Green?
_Ga. _ No, nor from thence neither.
_Er. _ What from the Tavern then?
_Ga. _ No.
_Er. _ Well, since I can't guess, tell me.
_Ga. _ From St. _Mary's_ Church.
_Er. _ What Business had you there?
_Ga. _ I saluted some Persons.
_Er. _ Who?
_Ga. _ Christ, and some of the Saints.
_Er. _ You have more Religion than is common to one of your Age.
_Ga. _ Religion is becoming to every Age.
_Er. _ If I had a Mind to be religious, I'd become a Monk.
_Ga. _ And so would I too, if a Monk's Hood carried in it as much Piety
as it does Warmth.
_Er. _ There is an old Saying, a young Saint and an old Devil.
_Ga. _ But I believe that old Saying came from old Satan: I can hardly
think an old Man to be truly religious, that has not been so in his
young Days. Nothing is learn'd to greater Advantage, than what we learn
in our youngest Years.
_Er. _ What is that which is call'd Religion?
_Ga. _ It is the pure Worship of God, and Observation of his
Commandments.
_Er. _ What are they?
