Thou
ridicules
the fight, as not being
Irs to it He the so very sharp.
Irs to it He the so very sharp.
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
And he received the most honourable thanks cou'd be given to a
subjeH. But he is the fame Sir George Rook to us still ! let him do what he will. As one of us faid in a coffee-house, speaking of this last engagement ; if the French had shut off Sir George Rook's head, all had been well.
O. I'll tell thee, countryman, it is not Rook nor Marl- borough neither, if we had them bothsacrific'd, wou'd da our business. Thou know'st what we wou'd be at. We must higher, and wound others through their sides. ' Thou hast before rehears'd to me my charges against the
lord high admiral, and how still stand to and wilL not abate an inch. And we must not let the clamour lie
still. Our friends memories must be refresh'd.
fore my last Wednesday Observator, fall upon the lord high admiral again. And giving the reason why our privateers take no more French ships, fay, an Exgli/h privateer takes a skip, and brings her into port— they must come up to London, and get her condemned in the
admiralty court. And after they have paid the perquifites the lord high admiral, and the charge condemnation, they had at good have staid at home. Then tell how the
mint de Thoulouse, lord high admiral 'France, bar
quitted his perquifites. And fay, why don't we do the like
How do'st thou know, that the count de Thoulouse
has quitted his perquifites?
0. How shou'd know an be hang'd to thee. But
who'll examine that Will not run among the mob, and prejudice them against our lord high admirals For what
other end, think'st thou, faid
C. But did not my queen, in herspeech to the parlia
ment, tell of the good success of our privateers, and that the prizes were so well manag'd, as to add considerably to the expences of the war.
0. Wilt thou take thy queens word before mine espe
cially where her husband concern'd And hersels too most
There
is
I
it ?
s
I
it D?
%
?
?
?
I
us C. ?
in
of I of
if
I
it,
I
fly
5z The REHEARSAL.
most especially ? For I have often told thee, where the
must end. And to what end
ery of male administrations they are raised.
Any minister may be accus'd of male-administration, in a legal way, and before proper judges. - But no g•rverri- ment is publickly lampoon d and in print, where the design is not to over-throw it. And when the author is known, and still suffer'd to go on, tho' it may be clemency in the government, it may be constru'd impotency by its enemies, and encourage them in their attempts upon it. This is the
use, countryman, I have made of it. And still resolve to continue, with the help of legion.
Prom &at. Sept. 23, to &at. Sept. 30, 1704. N° 9.
The ObservatorV civil address to a madam he calls Pro serpina. Of the ladies neck-laces. His Shovelling of Sir George Rook. With right done to Sir Cloudefly.
Csun TT jAST Saturday, master, in our Rehearsal, we I did valiantly ! we gave a brave broad-fide to the church party, high and low. How smartly did'it
thou Thoulouse the prince our lord high admiral ? Thou Eugerfd the duke of Marlborough, and ShoveWd Sir Georg)
Rook.
The two sirst I rehearsed out of thy Ohservator, word
for word.
But the last I only faid was the word that
run among our party. And if thou hadst given me the
lyt, thou woud'st have putten me upon my proofs. But
thy Observator which came out the lame day, even last Saturday, came plum upon the point, and great part of it was taken up in directly Shovelling of this Rook. Tell
' me, master, is it true, after all, that thou play'st boo ty, and writes in concert with the Rehearsal, to make good
all the scandalous things he tells of thee, and of our par ty ? or, is it that the roguehsa a plaguy guess with him ?
or, has he aspy among us ?
O, No, no, countryman, it is none of these things.
Why,
all we have left to do.
The REHEARSAL.
5g
Why, a buxszard may see that we write only for a party. That our business is only to run down the church, anft the monarchy, and get them both into our own clutches. In order to which, we would have none but true-blue- whigs in the ministry, or in any command either by sea or land. How easy then is for any to tell before-hand,
whom We will praise or dispraise whose actions we will lessen, or transfer the honour to others and
we will magnify up to the jkies And though trie church-men tell us of this, and complain of and expose- us for over, and over yet we can not, we ««/?
nubofe
not help it. Our whole cause depends upon it.
If we suffer church-men to run away with the glory of victories by land andsca, what
will become of us
Therefore as tnoa didst remind me, fn thy Rehearsal
7. Did not even since the glorious victory at Hochstet, make some body Cincius Fulirius, mind him of his fuddeff rifinf, and threaten him with as sudden fall,
with the of his wift kc. whom call venefica *iAiftb; and {Vol. K. 45, last Aug. 26. ) madamVw- serpin a And that might the more easily be under
stood, who meant, add, a jubilee neck-lace for madam Proserpona.
C. What the meaning of that neck-lace do'st mean
a baiter?
O. That what we would be at! but dids'nt hear of
sine diamond neck-lace given sine young Prince, to certain sine lady, at certain noble palace, on the top of hill?
C. Aye, aye, that We had such story run up and down among us, and there was- cross at the end of that neck-lace, according to his country fashion. Whence the new mode Of crosses on neck-laces got up. Which
thou caiYft popery in thy Obf. last July Vol. N. 33:. And- our Review of the fame July 18. N. 39. makes all that wear them to be wh—res, as well as pa-
This brings in all- the church^women, as well as th£ hurcb-men, especially the court, at which we chiefly level. D But,
pishes.
1
3
a
by a
c
a a
1 5.
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!
?
3.
It
a
a
is
is
? I
it, I,
is
it- a
it
a
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a
a is
it,
?
!
;
it,
But, baik ye, mnficr, is wearing a cress a sign of po f. ry? there is a brave cross on the /o/ of my queen's cows. Why do not we pull down the cross off of that
too?
O. All in good time, countryman, thou see'st we
were about it.
C. What if I should prove thee too, master, to be a
Obs How wilt thou do that ?
C. Hast thou never a <ro/t in thy pocket ? thou re- ceiv'dst thy monthly salary yesterday from the clut.
O. Thedog has a mind for my money ! Ihate a cross so inveterately, that I would not have it even upon our coin. It is a christian — heathenish invention. I would
rather have a huWs head, or some of the old pagan deities, as on the Greek and Roman coins, or a pair of trunk hose, as our common-wealth coin ; any thing rather than the sign of the cross upon our money— bless us !
C. Then throw it away. Or, give it to me. Wilt
,— 1
54
The REHEARSAL.
thou carry idolatry about thee 1
O. I do it but occafionally . That is as oft as
I hare
occafion for it.
C. But what if mammon mould turn papish? might not
I turn too?
O. Mammon is a great prince, and may be of what
religion he pleases. But so must not such asaucy rogue as thou.
B. But was not madam Proserpina mammon's wise? and why might not she wear a diamond neck-lace, though there were a cross at it; as well as thou carry a pocket-full of thy gold and stiver crosses?
O. What do'st thou talk? who hast not a cross to bless thy selfwithal.
C. Bless my self with a cross ! O popery ! popery !
O. Thou goose! men of sense mind not words, but the drift of ones discourse, to see what it taft/i to. Here I
have made some body a witch, a Proserpina. And have
I not pointed fairly at whom I mean? and observe how ^we all strike together, and act in concert, that it may have
The REHEARSAL.
55 have the greater force. Our Review was upon the fame point of the diamond neck-lace, the next day it came
out after my Observator. He calls it diamond, la Ju bilee neck-lace.
C. What is that jubilee ?
O. That is popery. The diamond shews whose it was. And thejubilee, to what end. Thus we help one an
other
becirsal, we were one and all together, Review, Observa- tor, and Mercury upon the London Gazette. And we printed the Paris Gazette in English, and threw it among
the coffee-houses (which we never did before) to turn the news of the victory at sea to the French side. For we had
rather the French should have the viclory, than Sir George Rook, or any of these church-men. We had ra- ther compound with the French, than with them. Nay, we will take part with the French against them, if we cannot overcome them otherwise. It is not the first time that we have done it. And when detecled and fully prov'd upon us, under our own hands, have been not only pardoned, but preferred, and put into the great est offices. And we hope the queen will be as good to us, as either her sather or grand-father. And upon our
words, we will be us grateful to her, as to either of them. She is come of the forgiving-kind. Therefore let us be bold ; and set forth the great encomiums of the French king, and vindicate him, even as to the present war, as we have done in our last Tuesday's review. Let us blacken the church-party, till we talk them out of their places. We want the fleet in our hands. And we must
out with this Rook. Notwithstanding of all his victo- ries and successes, told us in the last Rehearsal at Le Hogue, the Baltick, Vigo, Gibraltar, and now at this last engage- ment.
O. We will answer nothing to any thing that they
Let them talk on. We will see who can tali loudest. Let them prove, we will aver still on. More
read our papers than theirs. In my last Saturday \Obfer- D 4 vator,
1
C. And thus last week, as I told thee in my last Re-
fay.
56
The REHEARSAL.
vatar, I have not left one doit of the honour in this last
engagement to Rook, but given it all, all to Sir Claudejlj S bevel ; with scandalous innuendoes upon J? ooif, even for
want of courage. This is to make him lay down his cem- mission for •vexation, that he can get no remedy against us, nor stop our foul mouths. And then we shall have the nictciy over this victor. And then we will clamour Sir Cloudesly into his place.
C. I dare fay Sir Cloudesly will give thee little thanks for all this brave defign. He is a man of too much ho nour to desire to raise his reputation, by the unjust de-
prc£ion of another. And he needs not any such base me thods. And he will believe, that thou hast done him ten times more injury, than to Sir George Root; as sup- posing that he will be pleased with thy vile and unjust reflections upon Sir George.
For thou must know, master, that thy tongue is no /lander, but when it commends. And I have heard people iky, what evil has such a one done, that he is
commended by the Observator ?
Now see the difserent methods of another party. For
though Sir Cloudesly is supposed by some to be a little tvhigishly inclined; chiefly because he is so set up by thee, and our scandalous club ; yet I never heard a church* man in my lise speak one word in derogation of his ho nour. Nor censure his spending a whole summer with the!
a general, it ought to be no fort of reflection upon him. For that is not in his power. And has befallen
the greatest generals in the world.
But then on the other hand, they fay, that when fre
quent •victories do wait upon a great man, who attempts hazardous undertakings; it is the devil to run him down, to leflen, blacken, and bespatter him ; only because he is not of such a party. And for that only reason, to have him exposed, and iuorryed to death by the beasts of the
fleet in the Mediterranean, withoutfighting, or taking any place- They fay, they doubt not but he did his
duty.
And iffighting orsuccess does not always attend
The REHEARSAL: 57
But, master, thou art the most unlucky Bays that ever set pen topaper. Thou art now obliged to fall upon Sir Cloudesty too, and give him the (ye, or yield thy Jelfa base and infamous lyer and slanderer. For Sis CJoudeslfs own letter is in print, giving an account of the
sea fight ; wherein he contradicts thy nasty Observators in direct terms, as if he had read them, and were an swering them.
Thou ridicules the fight, as not being
Irs to it He the so very sharp. And presers othe fays,
engagement was very sharp ; and
think the like between
two sleets never has been at any time. Thou fay'st in thy
last Saturdays Observator, the French were closely attacked
Sir Cloudesly- Sir Cloudesly I
by 'And intended
a close engagement, yard-arm, to yard-arm wish each divifion had done the like. Then thou run* upon those who extol the goodfor nothing fellows, with, here is Sir Clovdisi. y's good health, with all myspirit ; he is a true son of the sea. AH this is to fay, that all that was done, was done by Sir Cloudesty, and that Sir George was not worthy to be named in the matter ; that he and his divifion kept out of harms-way, Sec. whereas Sir
Cloudesty's letter fays thus in the very next words follow
ing those before quoted, there is hardly aship that must
not shist one mast, andsome must shift all, a great many have suffered much, but none more than S*>George Rook, and Capt. Jennings in the Monk, 13c. And both the London and Paris Gazettes, and all accounts do agree, that the hottest part of the engagement was in the centre where
Sir Geoige fought against the Count de Tholouse.
0. What care I for the Paris Gazette? Though we set it up at this time against the London Gazette to
I care not a farthing for all their pub-
serve our turn;
lick accounts. Thou rchearsedst to me last Saturday my own words against the fublick accounts, about the duke
Mat Ihoroagh's sight, thus, those that knows the accounts "/ that fight, otherwise than by the publick prints, &c. We have astock of oral traditions, shall bear down all their text. And for Sir Cloudesty he was too hasty in
writing accounts of that fight,B till he had seen my Obfir-
5
vat or,
5%
The
REHEARSAL;
I will towel him too. fAy Orace. nzor flays both friend and foe, when he sets to it.
He scorns to leave a man standing.
And I will tell thee, countryman, if the best wbig of
thcv all shalt pretend to honour, truth, or honesty, to the
vatcr. Butifhegotothat,
prejudice of the common cause; he is a poor, fneakittg, s,lsjh fJlow, to preser his own private conscience, or hir- nour to the publick good. And I will throw my sut-bag
in the face of them who are free from the dirt of my inks which is terrible to governments, and they cannot quell it. We will have no neuters, nor half-way-men. A semi- <whig is worse than a high-flyer. And there is no parry ing against my toledo. For
1 to vvhigish braves a t am still, To rub on any honestface they mill.
From &at. Sept. 30, to &at. Oct. 7, 1704. N° to.
Sir Cloudesly Shovel affronted by the Observator. Sir George Rook accused for not taking Gibraltar. And ridiculed for taking it. Of the shortest way with the dissenters. And the beginning of a comical romance.
QbsTL/sUrrain take thee for a countryman, thou hast IVA. made my heart ake ever since the last time I-
faw thee.
C What is the matter now, master? to me, that Sir O. Thou mad'st it appear very plain ill, that I have
Cliudesty Shovel must needs take it very
made a tool of him, to bespatter and abuse his admiral and friend Sir George Riok. Besides my contradicting and ri
diculing the account which Sir Cloudesly has given of that engagemrnt at sea. And what if he should think himself obliged in benour to do Sir George right upon my bones ? it would come better from lum, than from Sir Georgt
himself. hilf; ;hivn 1 have C I:/ . v:. * courage le cast
The rehearsal:
some tmfirt for thee yet. I will warrant thee at Sit Chudestys hands, as well as Sir George Rook's.
0. Speak quickly, my dear countryman; and pre
vent this fet of my ague.
C. Why, thou art such a nasty sellow, neither of'them,
will find their fingers with thee. More than a beau sine
(frf^ would go to cuffs with a chimney-sweeper.
0. I prosess that is true. Thou hast raised my heart. But they have footmen, and such sort of things; and
they can drub plaguily.
C. No, no. They have other business. But I would
advise thee one thing, never to go below-bridge. For if the tars and Wappineers should meet with thee, they would have no moderation, for all thy vile abuses upon their admiral, who led them on to wctory, and was companion in their dangers.
O. Thou hast put cow-itch in my neck. I could scratch it to pieces.
But I am fase enough. For I had my fortune told, that I should die by an arrow. Therefore I never go where they shoot with bows and arrows.
C. YTaith, master, thy master has nobbed thee. Thou know'st his oracles have all double meaning. Thou had'st better avoid the place where they make ropes. That is a nearer emblem of this prophecy.
O. Why ? is a rope an arrow?
C. Itmay be so 'narrow, that thou can'st not get thy head through. And the rope will ne'er hurt thee without the 'narrow.
0. Pox take thee. That foolish thought will run in ay head. Come, let's talk of something else.
C. I was then a thinking what a happy thing it was for us, that we had Gibraltar before the \v& sea-fight.
59
O. And I cannot endure that fort of engine they play with, called a ropes-end. It would tickle my fides for me.
C. And may be thy neck too——Especially if there be a knot at the end of it——What is that ? hast got a louse in thy collar?
€o The REHEARSAL:
Else we had not had a hole to put in any of our maimed ships, or to refresh ourfick and wounded.
Ot Thou must not speak a word of any advantage to us by taking Gibraltar. Because it was Sir George Rook did it. Didn'st thou observe how I under-valued and ri-
it in mine of last Aug. io> Vol. 3. N. 43?
C. But that was not always thy mind, master; great wits and lyars, they fay, have the worst memories. Do'st nbt thou remember what thou faid'st to me in thy Obscr- vator of Septem. 16, 1702. Vol. I. N. 42. that the
English forces iVSpiin were within fifty miles of Gibral tar in the Streights Mouth, which they may eafily make
themselves inlaffer* of, after the reducement of Cadiz : ever against Gibraltar, on the heathen shore, lies Ceuta
,a SyaiiiRi garifon, which has been so long befieged by the Moors ; a Jme. ll party of men would be sufficient to take this place ; for the Moors would willingly assist the English in this enterpria ; cut ofrevenge upon the Spaniards ; and if we had this place also, then we hold the door of the
Levant in our hands ?
Now, master, if Gibraltar was then the door, or one
iuM ol the folding-door of the Levant; what makes it not be fo now?
O. Because then it was not taken by Sir George Rook. And because now it is. We were then ridiculing his expedition to Cadiz, and Vigo, And this was one article
against him, why he did not take Gibraltar, a place of
such mighty consequence. But now we make ajest of and shewed our raillery upon him for taking a place of nc»
consequence at all.
Though has proved of consequence, chance. Par
ticularly, that our fleet had thatport to go into to stop leaks, &c. afeer the late fight, wherein ourfleet suffered so much, that Sir Cloudefly fays in his letter, Godsend as: well home. believe we have not three spare top -masts, nor threesishes in the fleet, and judge there are ten jury top-map new up. Which makes good what the other letters (printed in the Review the late engagement at sea,
wrote from on board the
fleet
at Gibraltar, Mthe whither
4
1
it
of
I
by
it,
sequence at all ! though
TBe
REHEARSAL;
€i
fleet retimed after the stgbt) do tell us, p. 13, 14, and
16, tha: this was the sharpest engagement the English fleet ever had in memory of man. And all extol mightiL/ the valour as well as conduct of Sir George Rook. But Gibraltar ''was only an advantage by chance to our fleet- And so no thanks to Sir George for that. And hereafter it shall not be the door of the Levant, nor of any con
if we had not had it at this time, we should h;ve had a krge list of ships floundered At sea,
before they had reached a port.
C. Nor is that all. We have clawed off this Rook
another way. We have raised another battery against
Mm. He had better sight the Count de Tboulouse than
legion. We have lately published a lampoon against him, in the name of one William Colepeper, with this title,
a true state of the difference between Sir George Rook Knt. and William Colepeper &c. And this has been
carefully advertised and re-advertised every day, in the papers of ourscandalous club, such as Observator, Review, &c And in this Sir George is represented as a coward,
an eeffessinator, and what not.
O. I wish that had not been wrote, it has turned upon
us. Some call it the comical romance, and fay, there rs
nothing like it in Scarron. First this Colepeper is made
one of the Kentish petitioners, a. captain of legion, who' was censured by the house of commons. . Then for his prowess and skill in chivalry, it is faid of him, p. 38. wbobas read the history of Don QjUXOT. . And, p. 44. he fays, he is not a lunatick. . And, as a proof of it, feys p. 5, that he could never come up to any hard opinion
concerning Mr. De Foe, for his shortest way with the dissenters, in which case he was his council, amd solicitor to the queen on his behalf. And adds, W. C. is not
afraid of having his judgment called in question by asfirm ing, that the world has not in any age produced a man be yond Mr. De Foe, for his miraculous fancy, and lively in
vention in all his writings, both verse and prose.
C. No body will think him lunatick for this. For was it not a miraculous fancy, and lively mxw. 's'ow, which
the
€,£ The REHEARSAL. '
the 'world has not in any age produced, to write that short est way in a strain to be taken for a church-man; and thereby to render all the church-party the hatred and contempt of the nation, and expose them to thejustice of the mob, as men of blood and savage nature, bent whol
ly to destruction ? and our party gave it all about, that
it was wrote by the high-chui ch, and pretended to guest at some of them, and exclaimed at them on that ac count, over the whole tewn, insomuch, . hat cletgymen v/ere pointed at, ami it suited, as they walked along the
streets; and the mob vvtre prepared and ready to give the onset to all black gcwn: and crsso. ks And thou, master,
put in thy oar heartily, to the fame godly purpose, in thy Observator, Vol. i. N. 71. And madest the author a clergyman. And if the industry of Ld. N. had not found out the author, (for which we shall never forget him) this book had pasted cleverly upon the clergy, and we would have quoted. it against them to after ge nerations. Besides a handsome parcel of present mischief, in having the clergy mobb'd, &c. And mould W. 0.
come up to any herd opinion concerning Mr
. De Foe for all this? was not all this to aflert the cuthority, and reser every thing to the ultimate decifion of his beloved legion
anglice mob ? in behalf of which he presented a petition
to the house ofcommons, humbly praying, that they would
be pleased to give up their authority, and admit of ap peals from them to their original the mob.
Now, master, the high-flyers think there cannot be a greater proof of lunacy than this, to resolve all power in to the mob, to make them the original of government, and the government made accountable to them.
which head there are more mad than Will. Colepepcr.
But what is all this to a romance ? thou faid'st this called romance. Indeed the plot of the shortest way had not been spoiled, their would have been glorious romance! we should have had hacking work among the
parsons; like the mobhing of the clergy in Scotland, the beginning of this revolution. But there nofighting- dories in this comical romance that comical romance.
Upon,
?
if
is is a
a
a
fa- I
The REHEARSAL?
O. W. C. tells us he refused to sight Sir George in England, because the laws are against duelling, and when he had killed the knight, he might happen to be hanged for it. And, for the fame reason, he would not go to Holland, as Sir George would have had him. And
fays, p. 40. the danger fivm the halter, not from Sir George Rook'o sword was regarded by W. C. But he never intended to go {without provision for a retreat, aster the exploit ) into Holland, just to he hanged. Besides three
other considerable reasons given in the fame page in a
indeed !
or the worst on't.
I love whoever Jighting-stories, gets
6g the letter
letter from W. C.
subjeH. But he is the fame Sir George Rook to us still ! let him do what he will. As one of us faid in a coffee-house, speaking of this last engagement ; if the French had shut off Sir George Rook's head, all had been well.
O. I'll tell thee, countryman, it is not Rook nor Marl- borough neither, if we had them bothsacrific'd, wou'd da our business. Thou know'st what we wou'd be at. We must higher, and wound others through their sides. ' Thou hast before rehears'd to me my charges against the
lord high admiral, and how still stand to and wilL not abate an inch. And we must not let the clamour lie
still. Our friends memories must be refresh'd.
fore my last Wednesday Observator, fall upon the lord high admiral again. And giving the reason why our privateers take no more French ships, fay, an Exgli/h privateer takes a skip, and brings her into port— they must come up to London, and get her condemned in the
admiralty court. And after they have paid the perquifites the lord high admiral, and the charge condemnation, they had at good have staid at home. Then tell how the
mint de Thoulouse, lord high admiral 'France, bar
quitted his perquifites. And fay, why don't we do the like
How do'st thou know, that the count de Thoulouse
has quitted his perquifites?
0. How shou'd know an be hang'd to thee. But
who'll examine that Will not run among the mob, and prejudice them against our lord high admirals For what
other end, think'st thou, faid
C. But did not my queen, in herspeech to the parlia
ment, tell of the good success of our privateers, and that the prizes were so well manag'd, as to add considerably to the expences of the war.
0. Wilt thou take thy queens word before mine espe
cially where her husband concern'd And hersels too most
There
is
I
it ?
s
I
it D?
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?
?
?
I
us C. ?
in
of I of
if
I
it,
I
fly
5z The REHEARSAL.
most especially ? For I have often told thee, where the
must end. And to what end
ery of male administrations they are raised.
Any minister may be accus'd of male-administration, in a legal way, and before proper judges. - But no g•rverri- ment is publickly lampoon d and in print, where the design is not to over-throw it. And when the author is known, and still suffer'd to go on, tho' it may be clemency in the government, it may be constru'd impotency by its enemies, and encourage them in their attempts upon it. This is the
use, countryman, I have made of it. And still resolve to continue, with the help of legion.
Prom &at. Sept. 23, to &at. Sept. 30, 1704. N° 9.
The ObservatorV civil address to a madam he calls Pro serpina. Of the ladies neck-laces. His Shovelling of Sir George Rook. With right done to Sir Cloudefly.
Csun TT jAST Saturday, master, in our Rehearsal, we I did valiantly ! we gave a brave broad-fide to the church party, high and low. How smartly did'it
thou Thoulouse the prince our lord high admiral ? Thou Eugerfd the duke of Marlborough, and ShoveWd Sir Georg)
Rook.
The two sirst I rehearsed out of thy Ohservator, word
for word.
But the last I only faid was the word that
run among our party. And if thou hadst given me the
lyt, thou woud'st have putten me upon my proofs. But
thy Observator which came out the lame day, even last Saturday, came plum upon the point, and great part of it was taken up in directly Shovelling of this Rook. Tell
' me, master, is it true, after all, that thou play'st boo ty, and writes in concert with the Rehearsal, to make good
all the scandalous things he tells of thee, and of our par ty ? or, is it that the roguehsa a plaguy guess with him ?
or, has he aspy among us ?
O, No, no, countryman, it is none of these things.
Why,
all we have left to do.
The REHEARSAL.
5g
Why, a buxszard may see that we write only for a party. That our business is only to run down the church, anft the monarchy, and get them both into our own clutches. In order to which, we would have none but true-blue- whigs in the ministry, or in any command either by sea or land. How easy then is for any to tell before-hand,
whom We will praise or dispraise whose actions we will lessen, or transfer the honour to others and
we will magnify up to the jkies And though trie church-men tell us of this, and complain of and expose- us for over, and over yet we can not, we ««/?
nubofe
not help it. Our whole cause depends upon it.
If we suffer church-men to run away with the glory of victories by land andsca, what
will become of us
Therefore as tnoa didst remind me, fn thy Rehearsal
7. Did not even since the glorious victory at Hochstet, make some body Cincius Fulirius, mind him of his fuddeff rifinf, and threaten him with as sudden fall,
with the of his wift kc. whom call venefica *iAiftb; and {Vol. K. 45, last Aug. 26. ) madamVw- serpin a And that might the more easily be under
stood, who meant, add, a jubilee neck-lace for madam Proserpona.
C. What the meaning of that neck-lace do'st mean
a baiter?
O. That what we would be at! but dids'nt hear of
sine diamond neck-lace given sine young Prince, to certain sine lady, at certain noble palace, on the top of hill?
C. Aye, aye, that We had such story run up and down among us, and there was- cross at the end of that neck-lace, according to his country fashion. Whence the new mode Of crosses on neck-laces got up. Which
thou caiYft popery in thy Obf. last July Vol. N. 33:. And- our Review of the fame July 18. N. 39. makes all that wear them to be wh—res, as well as pa-
This brings in all- the church^women, as well as th£ hurcb-men, especially the court, at which we chiefly level. D But,
pishes.
1
3
a
by a
c
a a
1 5.
I ?
!
?
3.
It
a
a
is
is
? I
it, I,
is
it- a
it
a
I 3.
a
a is
it,
?
!
;
it,
But, baik ye, mnficr, is wearing a cress a sign of po f. ry? there is a brave cross on the /o/ of my queen's cows. Why do not we pull down the cross off of that
too?
O. All in good time, countryman, thou see'st we
were about it.
C. What if I should prove thee too, master, to be a
Obs How wilt thou do that ?
C. Hast thou never a <ro/t in thy pocket ? thou re- ceiv'dst thy monthly salary yesterday from the clut.
O. Thedog has a mind for my money ! Ihate a cross so inveterately, that I would not have it even upon our coin. It is a christian — heathenish invention. I would
rather have a huWs head, or some of the old pagan deities, as on the Greek and Roman coins, or a pair of trunk hose, as our common-wealth coin ; any thing rather than the sign of the cross upon our money— bless us !
C. Then throw it away. Or, give it to me. Wilt
,— 1
54
The REHEARSAL.
thou carry idolatry about thee 1
O. I do it but occafionally . That is as oft as
I hare
occafion for it.
C. But what if mammon mould turn papish? might not
I turn too?
O. Mammon is a great prince, and may be of what
religion he pleases. But so must not such asaucy rogue as thou.
B. But was not madam Proserpina mammon's wise? and why might not she wear a diamond neck-lace, though there were a cross at it; as well as thou carry a pocket-full of thy gold and stiver crosses?
O. What do'st thou talk? who hast not a cross to bless thy selfwithal.
C. Bless my self with a cross ! O popery ! popery !
O. Thou goose! men of sense mind not words, but the drift of ones discourse, to see what it taft/i to. Here I
have made some body a witch, a Proserpina. And have
I not pointed fairly at whom I mean? and observe how ^we all strike together, and act in concert, that it may have
The REHEARSAL.
55 have the greater force. Our Review was upon the fame point of the diamond neck-lace, the next day it came
out after my Observator. He calls it diamond, la Ju bilee neck-lace.
C. What is that jubilee ?
O. That is popery. The diamond shews whose it was. And thejubilee, to what end. Thus we help one an
other
becirsal, we were one and all together, Review, Observa- tor, and Mercury upon the London Gazette. And we printed the Paris Gazette in English, and threw it among
the coffee-houses (which we never did before) to turn the news of the victory at sea to the French side. For we had
rather the French should have the viclory, than Sir George Rook, or any of these church-men. We had ra- ther compound with the French, than with them. Nay, we will take part with the French against them, if we cannot overcome them otherwise. It is not the first time that we have done it. And when detecled and fully prov'd upon us, under our own hands, have been not only pardoned, but preferred, and put into the great est offices. And we hope the queen will be as good to us, as either her sather or grand-father. And upon our
words, we will be us grateful to her, as to either of them. She is come of the forgiving-kind. Therefore let us be bold ; and set forth the great encomiums of the French king, and vindicate him, even as to the present war, as we have done in our last Tuesday's review. Let us blacken the church-party, till we talk them out of their places. We want the fleet in our hands. And we must
out with this Rook. Notwithstanding of all his victo- ries and successes, told us in the last Rehearsal at Le Hogue, the Baltick, Vigo, Gibraltar, and now at this last engage- ment.
O. We will answer nothing to any thing that they
Let them talk on. We will see who can tali loudest. Let them prove, we will aver still on. More
read our papers than theirs. In my last Saturday \Obfer- D 4 vator,
1
C. And thus last week, as I told thee in my last Re-
fay.
56
The REHEARSAL.
vatar, I have not left one doit of the honour in this last
engagement to Rook, but given it all, all to Sir Claudejlj S bevel ; with scandalous innuendoes upon J? ooif, even for
want of courage. This is to make him lay down his cem- mission for •vexation, that he can get no remedy against us, nor stop our foul mouths. And then we shall have the nictciy over this victor. And then we will clamour Sir Cloudesly into his place.
C. I dare fay Sir Cloudesly will give thee little thanks for all this brave defign. He is a man of too much ho nour to desire to raise his reputation, by the unjust de-
prc£ion of another. And he needs not any such base me thods. And he will believe, that thou hast done him ten times more injury, than to Sir George Root; as sup- posing that he will be pleased with thy vile and unjust reflections upon Sir George.
For thou must know, master, that thy tongue is no /lander, but when it commends. And I have heard people iky, what evil has such a one done, that he is
commended by the Observator ?
Now see the difserent methods of another party. For
though Sir Cloudesly is supposed by some to be a little tvhigishly inclined; chiefly because he is so set up by thee, and our scandalous club ; yet I never heard a church* man in my lise speak one word in derogation of his ho nour. Nor censure his spending a whole summer with the!
a general, it ought to be no fort of reflection upon him. For that is not in his power. And has befallen
the greatest generals in the world.
But then on the other hand, they fay, that when fre
quent •victories do wait upon a great man, who attempts hazardous undertakings; it is the devil to run him down, to leflen, blacken, and bespatter him ; only because he is not of such a party. And for that only reason, to have him exposed, and iuorryed to death by the beasts of the
fleet in the Mediterranean, withoutfighting, or taking any place- They fay, they doubt not but he did his
duty.
And iffighting orsuccess does not always attend
The REHEARSAL: 57
But, master, thou art the most unlucky Bays that ever set pen topaper. Thou art now obliged to fall upon Sir Cloudesty too, and give him the (ye, or yield thy Jelfa base and infamous lyer and slanderer. For Sis CJoudeslfs own letter is in print, giving an account of the
sea fight ; wherein he contradicts thy nasty Observators in direct terms, as if he had read them, and were an swering them.
Thou ridicules the fight, as not being
Irs to it He the so very sharp. And presers othe fays,
engagement was very sharp ; and
think the like between
two sleets never has been at any time. Thou fay'st in thy
last Saturdays Observator, the French were closely attacked
Sir Cloudesly- Sir Cloudesly I
by 'And intended
a close engagement, yard-arm, to yard-arm wish each divifion had done the like. Then thou run* upon those who extol the goodfor nothing fellows, with, here is Sir Clovdisi. y's good health, with all myspirit ; he is a true son of the sea. AH this is to fay, that all that was done, was done by Sir Cloudesty, and that Sir George was not worthy to be named in the matter ; that he and his divifion kept out of harms-way, Sec. whereas Sir
Cloudesty's letter fays thus in the very next words follow
ing those before quoted, there is hardly aship that must
not shist one mast, andsome must shift all, a great many have suffered much, but none more than S*>George Rook, and Capt. Jennings in the Monk, 13c. And both the London and Paris Gazettes, and all accounts do agree, that the hottest part of the engagement was in the centre where
Sir Geoige fought against the Count de Tholouse.
0. What care I for the Paris Gazette? Though we set it up at this time against the London Gazette to
I care not a farthing for all their pub-
serve our turn;
lick accounts. Thou rchearsedst to me last Saturday my own words against the fublick accounts, about the duke
Mat Ihoroagh's sight, thus, those that knows the accounts "/ that fight, otherwise than by the publick prints, &c. We have astock of oral traditions, shall bear down all their text. And for Sir Cloudesty he was too hasty in
writing accounts of that fight,B till he had seen my Obfir-
5
vat or,
5%
The
REHEARSAL;
I will towel him too. fAy Orace. nzor flays both friend and foe, when he sets to it.
He scorns to leave a man standing.
And I will tell thee, countryman, if the best wbig of
thcv all shalt pretend to honour, truth, or honesty, to the
vatcr. Butifhegotothat,
prejudice of the common cause; he is a poor, fneakittg, s,lsjh fJlow, to preser his own private conscience, or hir- nour to the publick good. And I will throw my sut-bag
in the face of them who are free from the dirt of my inks which is terrible to governments, and they cannot quell it. We will have no neuters, nor half-way-men. A semi- <whig is worse than a high-flyer. And there is no parry ing against my toledo. For
1 to vvhigish braves a t am still, To rub on any honestface they mill.
From &at. Sept. 30, to &at. Oct. 7, 1704. N° to.
Sir Cloudesly Shovel affronted by the Observator. Sir George Rook accused for not taking Gibraltar. And ridiculed for taking it. Of the shortest way with the dissenters. And the beginning of a comical romance.
QbsTL/sUrrain take thee for a countryman, thou hast IVA. made my heart ake ever since the last time I-
faw thee.
C What is the matter now, master? to me, that Sir O. Thou mad'st it appear very plain ill, that I have
Cliudesty Shovel must needs take it very
made a tool of him, to bespatter and abuse his admiral and friend Sir George Riok. Besides my contradicting and ri
diculing the account which Sir Cloudesly has given of that engagemrnt at sea. And what if he should think himself obliged in benour to do Sir George right upon my bones ? it would come better from lum, than from Sir Georgt
himself. hilf; ;hivn 1 have C I:/ . v:. * courage le cast
The rehearsal:
some tmfirt for thee yet. I will warrant thee at Sit Chudestys hands, as well as Sir George Rook's.
0. Speak quickly, my dear countryman; and pre
vent this fet of my ague.
C. Why, thou art such a nasty sellow, neither of'them,
will find their fingers with thee. More than a beau sine
(frf^ would go to cuffs with a chimney-sweeper.
0. I prosess that is true. Thou hast raised my heart. But they have footmen, and such sort of things; and
they can drub plaguily.
C. No, no. They have other business. But I would
advise thee one thing, never to go below-bridge. For if the tars and Wappineers should meet with thee, they would have no moderation, for all thy vile abuses upon their admiral, who led them on to wctory, and was companion in their dangers.
O. Thou hast put cow-itch in my neck. I could scratch it to pieces.
But I am fase enough. For I had my fortune told, that I should die by an arrow. Therefore I never go where they shoot with bows and arrows.
C. YTaith, master, thy master has nobbed thee. Thou know'st his oracles have all double meaning. Thou had'st better avoid the place where they make ropes. That is a nearer emblem of this prophecy.
O. Why ? is a rope an arrow?
C. Itmay be so 'narrow, that thou can'st not get thy head through. And the rope will ne'er hurt thee without the 'narrow.
0. Pox take thee. That foolish thought will run in ay head. Come, let's talk of something else.
C. I was then a thinking what a happy thing it was for us, that we had Gibraltar before the \v& sea-fight.
59
O. And I cannot endure that fort of engine they play with, called a ropes-end. It would tickle my fides for me.
C. And may be thy neck too——Especially if there be a knot at the end of it——What is that ? hast got a louse in thy collar?
€o The REHEARSAL:
Else we had not had a hole to put in any of our maimed ships, or to refresh ourfick and wounded.
Ot Thou must not speak a word of any advantage to us by taking Gibraltar. Because it was Sir George Rook did it. Didn'st thou observe how I under-valued and ri-
it in mine of last Aug. io> Vol. 3. N. 43?
C. But that was not always thy mind, master; great wits and lyars, they fay, have the worst memories. Do'st nbt thou remember what thou faid'st to me in thy Obscr- vator of Septem. 16, 1702. Vol. I. N. 42. that the
English forces iVSpiin were within fifty miles of Gibral tar in the Streights Mouth, which they may eafily make
themselves inlaffer* of, after the reducement of Cadiz : ever against Gibraltar, on the heathen shore, lies Ceuta
,a SyaiiiRi garifon, which has been so long befieged by the Moors ; a Jme. ll party of men would be sufficient to take this place ; for the Moors would willingly assist the English in this enterpria ; cut ofrevenge upon the Spaniards ; and if we had this place also, then we hold the door of the
Levant in our hands ?
Now, master, if Gibraltar was then the door, or one
iuM ol the folding-door of the Levant; what makes it not be fo now?
O. Because then it was not taken by Sir George Rook. And because now it is. We were then ridiculing his expedition to Cadiz, and Vigo, And this was one article
against him, why he did not take Gibraltar, a place of
such mighty consequence. But now we make ajest of and shewed our raillery upon him for taking a place of nc»
consequence at all.
Though has proved of consequence, chance. Par
ticularly, that our fleet had thatport to go into to stop leaks, &c. afeer the late fight, wherein ourfleet suffered so much, that Sir Cloudefly fays in his letter, Godsend as: well home. believe we have not three spare top -masts, nor threesishes in the fleet, and judge there are ten jury top-map new up. Which makes good what the other letters (printed in the Review the late engagement at sea,
wrote from on board the
fleet
at Gibraltar, Mthe whither
4
1
it
of
I
by
it,
sequence at all ! though
TBe
REHEARSAL;
€i
fleet retimed after the stgbt) do tell us, p. 13, 14, and
16, tha: this was the sharpest engagement the English fleet ever had in memory of man. And all extol mightiL/ the valour as well as conduct of Sir George Rook. But Gibraltar ''was only an advantage by chance to our fleet- And so no thanks to Sir George for that. And hereafter it shall not be the door of the Levant, nor of any con
if we had not had it at this time, we should h;ve had a krge list of ships floundered At sea,
before they had reached a port.
C. Nor is that all. We have clawed off this Rook
another way. We have raised another battery against
Mm. He had better sight the Count de Tboulouse than
legion. We have lately published a lampoon against him, in the name of one William Colepeper, with this title,
a true state of the difference between Sir George Rook Knt. and William Colepeper &c. And this has been
carefully advertised and re-advertised every day, in the papers of ourscandalous club, such as Observator, Review, &c And in this Sir George is represented as a coward,
an eeffessinator, and what not.
O. I wish that had not been wrote, it has turned upon
us. Some call it the comical romance, and fay, there rs
nothing like it in Scarron. First this Colepeper is made
one of the Kentish petitioners, a. captain of legion, who' was censured by the house of commons. . Then for his prowess and skill in chivalry, it is faid of him, p. 38. wbobas read the history of Don QjUXOT. . And, p. 44. he fays, he is not a lunatick. . And, as a proof of it, feys p. 5, that he could never come up to any hard opinion
concerning Mr. De Foe, for his shortest way with the dissenters, in which case he was his council, amd solicitor to the queen on his behalf. And adds, W. C. is not
afraid of having his judgment called in question by asfirm ing, that the world has not in any age produced a man be yond Mr. De Foe, for his miraculous fancy, and lively in
vention in all his writings, both verse and prose.
C. No body will think him lunatick for this. For was it not a miraculous fancy, and lively mxw. 's'ow, which
the
€,£ The REHEARSAL. '
the 'world has not in any age produced, to write that short est way in a strain to be taken for a church-man; and thereby to render all the church-party the hatred and contempt of the nation, and expose them to thejustice of the mob, as men of blood and savage nature, bent whol
ly to destruction ? and our party gave it all about, that
it was wrote by the high-chui ch, and pretended to guest at some of them, and exclaimed at them on that ac count, over the whole tewn, insomuch, . hat cletgymen v/ere pointed at, ami it suited, as they walked along the
streets; and the mob vvtre prepared and ready to give the onset to all black gcwn: and crsso. ks And thou, master,
put in thy oar heartily, to the fame godly purpose, in thy Observator, Vol. i. N. 71. And madest the author a clergyman. And if the industry of Ld. N. had not found out the author, (for which we shall never forget him) this book had pasted cleverly upon the clergy, and we would have quoted. it against them to after ge nerations. Besides a handsome parcel of present mischief, in having the clergy mobb'd, &c. And mould W. 0.
come up to any herd opinion concerning Mr
. De Foe for all this? was not all this to aflert the cuthority, and reser every thing to the ultimate decifion of his beloved legion
anglice mob ? in behalf of which he presented a petition
to the house ofcommons, humbly praying, that they would
be pleased to give up their authority, and admit of ap peals from them to their original the mob.
Now, master, the high-flyers think there cannot be a greater proof of lunacy than this, to resolve all power in to the mob, to make them the original of government, and the government made accountable to them.
which head there are more mad than Will. Colepepcr.
But what is all this to a romance ? thou faid'st this called romance. Indeed the plot of the shortest way had not been spoiled, their would have been glorious romance! we should have had hacking work among the
parsons; like the mobhing of the clergy in Scotland, the beginning of this revolution. But there nofighting- dories in this comical romance that comical romance.
Upon,
?
if
is is a
a
a
fa- I
The REHEARSAL?
O. W. C. tells us he refused to sight Sir George in England, because the laws are against duelling, and when he had killed the knight, he might happen to be hanged for it. And, for the fame reason, he would not go to Holland, as Sir George would have had him. And
fays, p. 40. the danger fivm the halter, not from Sir George Rook'o sword was regarded by W. C. But he never intended to go {without provision for a retreat, aster the exploit ) into Holland, just to he hanged. Besides three
other considerable reasons given in the fame page in a
indeed !
or the worst on't.
I love whoever Jighting-stories, gets
6g the letter
letter from W. C.
