Why, you are much more
interesting
as it is!
Lermontov - A Hero of Our Time
.
.
and not Princess
Mary? ”. . .
“Quite sure. ”
“Why? ”
“Because Princess Mary inquired about Grushnitski. ”
“You are gifted with a fine imagination! Princess Mary said that she was
convinced that the young man in the soldier’s cloak had been reduced to
the ranks on account of a duel”. . .
“I hope you left her cherishing that pleasant delusion”. . .
“Of course”. . .
“A plot! ” I exclaimed in rapture. “We will make it our business to see
to the denouement of this little comedy. It is obvious that fate is
taking care that I shall not be bored! ”
“I have a presentiment,” said the doctor, “that poor Grushnitski will be
your victim. ”
“Proceed, doctor. ”
“Princess Ligovski said that your face was familiar to her. I observed
that she had probably met you in Petersburg--somewhere in society. . .
I told her your name. She knew it well. It appears that your history
created a great stir there. . . She began to tell us of your adventures,
most likely supplementing the gossip of society with observations of her
own. . . Her daughter listened with curiosity. In her imagination you
have become the hero of a novel in a new style. . . I did not contradict
Princess Ligovski, although I knew that she was talking nonsense. ”
“Worthy friend! ” I said, extending my hand to him.
The doctor pressed it feelingly and continued:
“If you like I will present you”. . .
“Good heavens! ” I said, clapping my hands. “Are heroes ever presented?
In no other way do they make the acquaintance of their beloved than by
saving her from certain death! ”. . .
“And you really wish to court Princess Mary? ”
“Not at all, far from it! . . . Doctor, I triumph at last! You do not
understand me! . . . It vexes me, however,” I continued after a moment’s
silence. “I never reveal my secrets myself, but I am exceedingly fond of
their being guessed, because in that way I can always disavow them upon
occasion. However, you must describe both mother and daughter to me.
What sort of people are they? ”
“In the first place, Princess Ligovski is a woman of forty-five,”
answered Werner. “She has a splendid digestion, but her blood is out of
order--there are red spots on her cheeks. She has spent the latter half
of her life in Moscow, and has grown stout from leading an inactive
life there. She loves spicy stories, and sometimes says improper things
herself when her daughter is out of the room. She has declared to me
that her daughter is as innocent as a dove. What does that matter to
me? . . . I was going to answer that she might be at her ease, because I
would never tell anyone. Princess Ligovski is taking the cure for her
rheumatism, and the daughter, for goodness knows what. I have ordered
each of them to drink two tumblers a day of sulphurous water, and to
bathe twice a week in the diluted bath. Princess Ligovski is
apparently unaccustomed to giving orders. She cherishes respect for
the intelligence and attainments of her daughter, who has read Byron in
English and knows algebra: in Moscow, evidently, the ladies have entered
upon the paths of erudition--and a good thing, too! The men here are
generally so unamiable, that, for a clever woman, it must be intolerable
to flirt with them. Princess Ligovski is very fond of young people;
Princess Mary looks on them with a certain contempt--a Moscow habit! In
Moscow they cherish only wits of not less than forty. ”
“You have been in Moscow, doctor? ”
“Yes, I had a practice there. ”
“Continue. ”
“But I think I have told everything. . . No, there is something else:
Princess Mary, it seems, loves to discuss emotions, passions, etcetera.
She was in Petersburg for one winter, and disliked it--especially the
society: no doubt she was coldly received. ”
“You have not seen anyone with them today? ”
“On the contrary, there was an aide-de-camp, a stiff guardsman, and a
lady--one of the latest arrivals, a relation of Princess Ligovski on the
husband’s side--very pretty, but apparently very ill. . . Have you not met
her at the well? She is of medium height, fair, with regular features;
she has the complexion of a consumptive, and there is a little black
mole on her right cheek. I was struck by the expressiveness of her
face. ”
“A mole! ” I muttered through my teeth. “Is it possible? ”
The doctor looked at me, and, laying his hand on my heart, said
triumphantly:
“You know her! ”
My heart was, in fact, beating more violently than usual.
“It is your turn, now, to triumph,” I said. “But I rely on you: you
will not betray me. I have not seen her yet, but I am convinced that I
recognise from your portrait a woman whom I loved in the old days. . . Do
not speak a word to her about me; if she asks any questions, give a bad
report of me. ”
“Be it so! ” said Werner, shrugging his shoulders.
When he had departed, my heart was compressed with terrible grief.
Has destiny brought us together again in the Caucasus, or has she come
hither on purpose, knowing that she would meet me? . . . And how shall we
meet? . . . And then, is it she? . . . My presentiments have never deceived
me. There is not a man in the world over whom the past has acquired such
a power as over me. Every recollection of bygone grief or joy strikes
my soul with morbid effect, and draws forth ever the same sounds. . . I am
stupidly constituted: I forget nothing--nothing!
After dinner, about six o’clock, I went on to the boulevard. It was
crowded. The two princesses were sitting on a bench, surrounded by young
men, who were vying with each other in paying them attention. I took
up my position on another bench at a little distance off, stopped two
Dragoon officers whom I knew, and proceeded to tell them something.
Evidently it was amusing, because they began to laugh loudly like a
couple of madmen. Some of those who were surrounding Princess Mary were
attracted to my side by curiosity, and gradually all of them left her
and joined my circle. I did not stop talking; my anecdotes were clever
to the point of absurdity, my jests at the expense of the queer people
passing by, malicious to the point of frenzy. I continued to entertain
the public till sunset. Princess Mary passed by me a few times,
arm-in-arm with her mother, and accompanied by a certain lame old man.
A few times her glance as it fell upon me expressed vexation, while
endeavouring to express indifference. . .
“What has he been telling you? ” she inquired of one of the young men,
who had gone back to her out of politeness. “No doubt a most interesting
story--his own exploits in battle? ”. . .
This was said rather loudly, and probably with the intention of stinging
me.
“Aha! ” I thought to myself. “You are downright angry, my dear Princess.
Wait awhile, there is more to follow. ”
Grushnitski kept following her like a beast of prey, and would not let
her out of his sight. I wager that to-morrow he will ask somebody to
present him to Princess Ligovski. She will be glad, because she is
bored.
CHAPTER III. 16th May.
IN the course of two days my affairs have gained ground tremendously.
Princess Mary positively hates me. Already I have had repeated to me two
or three epigrams on the subject of myself--rather caustic, but at the
same time very flattering. She finds it exceedingly strange that I, who
am accustomed to good society, and am so intimate with her Petersburg
cousins and aunts, do not try to make her acquaintance. Every day we
meet at the well and on the boulevard. I exert all my powers to entice
away her adorers, glittering aides-de-camp, pale-faced visitors from
Moscow, and others--and I almost always succeed. I have always hated
entertaining guests: now my house is full every day; they dine, sup,
gamble, and alas! my champagne triumphs over the might of Princess
Mary’s magnetic eyes!
I met her yesterday in Chelakhov’s shop. She was bargaining for a
marvellous Persian rug, and implored her mother not to be niggardly: the
rug would be such an ornament to her boudoir. . . I outbid her by forty
rubles, and bought it over her head. I was rewarded with a glance in
which the most delightful fury sparkled. About dinnertime, I ordered my
Circassian horse, covered with that very rug, purposely to be led past
her windows. Werner was with the princesses at the time, and told me
that the effect of the scene was most dramatic. Princess Mary wishes to
preach a crusade against me, and I have even noticed that, already,
two of the aides-de-camp salute me very coldly, when they are in her
presence--they dine with me every day, however.
Grushnitski has assumed an air of mystery; he walks with his arms folded
behind his back and does not recognise anyone. His foot has got well
all at once, and there is hardly a sign of a limp. He has found an
opportunity of entering into conversation with Princess Ligovski and of
paying Princess Mary some kind of a compliment. The latter is evidently
not very fastidious, for, ever since, she answers his bow with a most
charming smile.
“Are you sure you do not wish to make the Ligovskis’ acquaintance? ” he
said to me yesterday.
“Positive. ”
“Good gracious! The pleasantest house at the waters! All the best
society of Pyatigorsk is to be found there”. . .
“My friend, I am terribly tired of even other society than that of
Pyatigorsk. So you visit the Ligovskis? ”
“Not yet. I have spoken to Princess Mary once or twice, but that is
all. You know it is rather awkward to go and visit them without being
invited, although that is the custom here. . . It would be a different
matter if I was wearing epaulettes”. . .
“Good heavens!
Why, you are much more interesting as it is! You simply
do not know how to avail yourself of your advantageous position. . . Why,
that soldier’s cloak makes a hero and a martyr of you in the eyes of any
lady of sentiment! ”
Grushnitski smiled complacently.
“What nonsense! ” he said.
“I am convinced,” I continued, “that Princess Mary is in love with you
already. ”
He blushed up to the ears and looked big.
Oh, vanity! Thou art the lever with which Archimedes was to lift the
earthly sphere! . . .
“You are always jesting! ” he said, pretending to be angry. “In the first
place, she knows so little of me as yet”. . .
“Women love only those whom they do not know! ”
“But I have no pretensions whatsoever to pleasing her. I simply wish
to make the acquaintance of an agreeable household; and it would be
extremely ridiculous if I were to cherish the slightest hope. . . With
you, now, for instance, it is a different matter! You Petersburg
conquerors! You have but to look--and women melt. . . But do you know,
Pechorin, what Princess Mary said of you? ”. . .
“What? She has spoken to you already about me? ”. . .
“Do not rejoice too soon, though. The other day, by chance, I entered
into conversation with her at the well; her third word was, ‘Who is
that gentleman with such an unpleasant, heavy glance? He was with you
when’. . . she blushed, and did not like to mention the day, remembering
her own delightful little exploit. ‘You need not tell me what day it
was,’ I answered; ‘it will ever be present to my memory! ’. . . Pechorin,
my friend, I cannot congratulate you, you are in her black books. . . And,
indeed, it is a pity, because Mary is a charming girl! ”. . .
It must be observed that Grushnitski is one of those men who, in
speaking of a woman with whom they are barely acquainted, call her my
Mary, my Sophie, if she has had the good fortune to please them.
I assumed a serious air and answered:
“Yes, she is good-looking. . . Only be careful, Grushnitski! Russian
ladies, for the most part, cherish only Platonic love, without mingling
any thought of matrimony with it; and Platonic love is exceedingly
embarrassing. Princess Mary seems to be one of those women who want to
be amused. If she is bored in your company for two minutes on end--you
are lost irrevocably. Your silence ought to excite her curiosity, your
conversation ought never to satisfy it completely; you should alarm her
every minute; ten times, in public, she will slight people’s opinion for
you and will call that a sacrifice, and, in order to requite herself for
it, she will torment you. Afterwards she will simply say that she cannot
endure you. If you do not acquire authority over her, even her first
kiss will not give you the right to a second. She will flirt with you to
her heart’s content, and, in two years’ time, she will marry a monster,
in obedience to her mother, and will assure herself that she is unhappy,
that she has loved only one man--that is to say, you--but that Heaven
was not willing to unite her to him because he wore a soldier’s cloak,
although beneath that thick, grey cloak beat a heart, passionate and
noble”. . .
Grushnitski smote the table with his fist and fell to walking to and fro
across the room.
I laughed inwardly and even smiled once or twice, but fortunately he did
not notice. It is evident that he is in love, because he has grown even
more confiding than heretofore. Moreover, a ring has made its appearance
on his finger, a silver ring with black enamel of local workmanship. It
struck me as suspicious. . . I began to examine it, and what do you think
I saw? The name Mary was engraved on the inside in small letters, and in
a line with the name was the date on which she had picked up the
famous tumbler. I kept my discovery a secret. I do not want to force
confessions from him, I want him, of his own accord, to choose me as his
confidant--and then I will enjoy myself! . . .
*****
To-day I rose late. I went to the well. I found nobody there. The
day grew hot. White, shaggy cloudlets were flitting rapidly from the
snow-clad mountains, giving promise of a thunderstorm; the summit of
Mount Mashuk was smoking like a just extinguished torch; grey wisps of
cloud were coiling and creeping like snakes around it, arrested in
their rapid sweep and, as it were, hooked to its prickly brushwood. The
atmosphere was charged with electricity. I plunged into the avenue of
the vines leading to the grotto.
I felt low-spirited. I was thinking of the lady with the little mole on
her cheek, of whom the doctor had spoken to me. . . “Why is she here? ” I
thought. “And is it she? And what reason have I for thinking it is? And
why am I so certain of it? Is there not many a woman with a mole on her
cheek? ” Reflecting in such wise I came right up to the grotto. I looked
in and I saw that a woman, wearing a straw hat and wrapped in a black
shawl, was sitting on a stone seat in the cold shade of the arch. Her
head was sunk upon her breast, and the hat covered her face. I was just
about to turn back, in order not to disturb her meditations, when she
glanced at me.
“Vera! ” I exclaimed involuntarily.
She started and turned pale.
“I knew that you were here,” she said.
I sat down beside her and took her hand. A long-forgotten tremor ran
through my veins at the sound of that dear voice. She gazed into my
face with her deep, calm eyes. Mistrust and something in the nature of
reproach were expressed in her glance.
“We have not seen each other for a long time,” I said.
“A long time, and we have both changed in many ways. ”
“Consequently you love me no longer? ”. . .
“I am married! ”. . . she said.
“Again? A few years ago, however, that reason also existed, but,
nevertheless”. . .
She plucked her hand away from mine and her cheeks flamed.
“Perhaps you love your second husband? ”. . .
She made no answer and turned her head away.
“Or is he very jealous? ”
She remained silent.
“What then? He is young, handsome and, I suppose, rich--which is the
chief thing--and you are afraid? ”. . .
I glanced at her and was alarmed. Profound despair was depicted upon her
countenance; tears were glistening in her eyes.
“Tell me,” she whispered at length, “do you find it very amusing to
torture me? I ought to hate you. Since we have known each other, you
have given me naught but suffering”. . .
Her voice shook; she leaned over to me, and let her head sink upon my
breast.
“Perhaps,” I reflected, “it is for that very reason that you have loved
me; joys are forgotten, but sorrows never”. . .
I clasped her closely to my breast, and so we remained for a long
time. At length our lips drew closer and became blent in a fervent,
intoxicating kiss. Her hands were cold as ice; her head was burning.
And hereupon we embarked upon one of those conversations which, on
paper, have no sense, which it is impossible to repeat, and impossible
even to retain in memory. The meaning of the sounds replaces and
completes the meaning of the words, as in Italian opera.
She is decidedly averse to my making the acquaintance of her husband,
the lame old man of whom I had caught a glimpse on the boulevard.
She married him for the sake of her son. He is rich, and suffers from
attacks of rheumatism. I did not allow myself even a single scoff at
his expense. She respects him as a father, and will deceive him as a
husband. . . A strange thing, the human heart in general, and woman’s
heart in particular.
Vera’s husband, Semyon Vasilevich G----v, is a distant relation of
Princess Ligovski. He lives next door to her. Vera frequently visits
the Princess. I have given her my promise to make the Ligovskis’
acquaintance, and to pay court to Princess Mary in order to distract
attention from Vera. In such way, my plans have been not a little
deranged, but it will be amusing for me. . .
Amusing! . . . Yes, I have already passed that period of spiritual
life when happiness alone is sought, when the heart feels the urgent
necessity of violently and passionately loving somebody. Now my only
wish is to be loved, and that by very few. I even think that I would be
content with one constant attachment. A wretched habit of the heart! . . .
One thing has always struck me as strange. I have never made myself the
slave of the woman I have loved. On the contrary, I have always acquired
an invincible power over her will and heart, without in the least
endeavouring to do so. Why is this? Is it because I never esteem
anything highly, and she has been continually afraid to let me out of
her hands? Or is it the magnetic influence of a powerful organism? Or is
it, simply, that I have never succeeded in meeting a woman of stubborn
character?
I must confess that, in fact, I do not love women who possess strength
of character. What business have they with such a thing?
Indeed, I remember now. Once and once only did I love a woman who had
a firm will which I was never able to vanquish. . . We parted as
enemies--and then, perhaps, if I had met her five years later we would
have parted otherwise. . .
Vera is ill, very ill, although she does not admit it. I fear she has
consumption, or that disease which is called “fievre lente”--a quite
unRussian disease, and one for which there is no name in our language.
Mary? ”. . .
“Quite sure. ”
“Why? ”
“Because Princess Mary inquired about Grushnitski. ”
“You are gifted with a fine imagination! Princess Mary said that she was
convinced that the young man in the soldier’s cloak had been reduced to
the ranks on account of a duel”. . .
“I hope you left her cherishing that pleasant delusion”. . .
“Of course”. . .
“A plot! ” I exclaimed in rapture. “We will make it our business to see
to the denouement of this little comedy. It is obvious that fate is
taking care that I shall not be bored! ”
“I have a presentiment,” said the doctor, “that poor Grushnitski will be
your victim. ”
“Proceed, doctor. ”
“Princess Ligovski said that your face was familiar to her. I observed
that she had probably met you in Petersburg--somewhere in society. . .
I told her your name. She knew it well. It appears that your history
created a great stir there. . . She began to tell us of your adventures,
most likely supplementing the gossip of society with observations of her
own. . . Her daughter listened with curiosity. In her imagination you
have become the hero of a novel in a new style. . . I did not contradict
Princess Ligovski, although I knew that she was talking nonsense. ”
“Worthy friend! ” I said, extending my hand to him.
The doctor pressed it feelingly and continued:
“If you like I will present you”. . .
“Good heavens! ” I said, clapping my hands. “Are heroes ever presented?
In no other way do they make the acquaintance of their beloved than by
saving her from certain death! ”. . .
“And you really wish to court Princess Mary? ”
“Not at all, far from it! . . . Doctor, I triumph at last! You do not
understand me! . . . It vexes me, however,” I continued after a moment’s
silence. “I never reveal my secrets myself, but I am exceedingly fond of
their being guessed, because in that way I can always disavow them upon
occasion. However, you must describe both mother and daughter to me.
What sort of people are they? ”
“In the first place, Princess Ligovski is a woman of forty-five,”
answered Werner. “She has a splendid digestion, but her blood is out of
order--there are red spots on her cheeks. She has spent the latter half
of her life in Moscow, and has grown stout from leading an inactive
life there. She loves spicy stories, and sometimes says improper things
herself when her daughter is out of the room. She has declared to me
that her daughter is as innocent as a dove. What does that matter to
me? . . . I was going to answer that she might be at her ease, because I
would never tell anyone. Princess Ligovski is taking the cure for her
rheumatism, and the daughter, for goodness knows what. I have ordered
each of them to drink two tumblers a day of sulphurous water, and to
bathe twice a week in the diluted bath. Princess Ligovski is
apparently unaccustomed to giving orders. She cherishes respect for
the intelligence and attainments of her daughter, who has read Byron in
English and knows algebra: in Moscow, evidently, the ladies have entered
upon the paths of erudition--and a good thing, too! The men here are
generally so unamiable, that, for a clever woman, it must be intolerable
to flirt with them. Princess Ligovski is very fond of young people;
Princess Mary looks on them with a certain contempt--a Moscow habit! In
Moscow they cherish only wits of not less than forty. ”
“You have been in Moscow, doctor? ”
“Yes, I had a practice there. ”
“Continue. ”
“But I think I have told everything. . . No, there is something else:
Princess Mary, it seems, loves to discuss emotions, passions, etcetera.
She was in Petersburg for one winter, and disliked it--especially the
society: no doubt she was coldly received. ”
“You have not seen anyone with them today? ”
“On the contrary, there was an aide-de-camp, a stiff guardsman, and a
lady--one of the latest arrivals, a relation of Princess Ligovski on the
husband’s side--very pretty, but apparently very ill. . . Have you not met
her at the well? She is of medium height, fair, with regular features;
she has the complexion of a consumptive, and there is a little black
mole on her right cheek. I was struck by the expressiveness of her
face. ”
“A mole! ” I muttered through my teeth. “Is it possible? ”
The doctor looked at me, and, laying his hand on my heart, said
triumphantly:
“You know her! ”
My heart was, in fact, beating more violently than usual.
“It is your turn, now, to triumph,” I said. “But I rely on you: you
will not betray me. I have not seen her yet, but I am convinced that I
recognise from your portrait a woman whom I loved in the old days. . . Do
not speak a word to her about me; if she asks any questions, give a bad
report of me. ”
“Be it so! ” said Werner, shrugging his shoulders.
When he had departed, my heart was compressed with terrible grief.
Has destiny brought us together again in the Caucasus, or has she come
hither on purpose, knowing that she would meet me? . . . And how shall we
meet? . . . And then, is it she? . . . My presentiments have never deceived
me. There is not a man in the world over whom the past has acquired such
a power as over me. Every recollection of bygone grief or joy strikes
my soul with morbid effect, and draws forth ever the same sounds. . . I am
stupidly constituted: I forget nothing--nothing!
After dinner, about six o’clock, I went on to the boulevard. It was
crowded. The two princesses were sitting on a bench, surrounded by young
men, who were vying with each other in paying them attention. I took
up my position on another bench at a little distance off, stopped two
Dragoon officers whom I knew, and proceeded to tell them something.
Evidently it was amusing, because they began to laugh loudly like a
couple of madmen. Some of those who were surrounding Princess Mary were
attracted to my side by curiosity, and gradually all of them left her
and joined my circle. I did not stop talking; my anecdotes were clever
to the point of absurdity, my jests at the expense of the queer people
passing by, malicious to the point of frenzy. I continued to entertain
the public till sunset. Princess Mary passed by me a few times,
arm-in-arm with her mother, and accompanied by a certain lame old man.
A few times her glance as it fell upon me expressed vexation, while
endeavouring to express indifference. . .
“What has he been telling you? ” she inquired of one of the young men,
who had gone back to her out of politeness. “No doubt a most interesting
story--his own exploits in battle? ”. . .
This was said rather loudly, and probably with the intention of stinging
me.
“Aha! ” I thought to myself. “You are downright angry, my dear Princess.
Wait awhile, there is more to follow. ”
Grushnitski kept following her like a beast of prey, and would not let
her out of his sight. I wager that to-morrow he will ask somebody to
present him to Princess Ligovski. She will be glad, because she is
bored.
CHAPTER III. 16th May.
IN the course of two days my affairs have gained ground tremendously.
Princess Mary positively hates me. Already I have had repeated to me two
or three epigrams on the subject of myself--rather caustic, but at the
same time very flattering. She finds it exceedingly strange that I, who
am accustomed to good society, and am so intimate with her Petersburg
cousins and aunts, do not try to make her acquaintance. Every day we
meet at the well and on the boulevard. I exert all my powers to entice
away her adorers, glittering aides-de-camp, pale-faced visitors from
Moscow, and others--and I almost always succeed. I have always hated
entertaining guests: now my house is full every day; they dine, sup,
gamble, and alas! my champagne triumphs over the might of Princess
Mary’s magnetic eyes!
I met her yesterday in Chelakhov’s shop. She was bargaining for a
marvellous Persian rug, and implored her mother not to be niggardly: the
rug would be such an ornament to her boudoir. . . I outbid her by forty
rubles, and bought it over her head. I was rewarded with a glance in
which the most delightful fury sparkled. About dinnertime, I ordered my
Circassian horse, covered with that very rug, purposely to be led past
her windows. Werner was with the princesses at the time, and told me
that the effect of the scene was most dramatic. Princess Mary wishes to
preach a crusade against me, and I have even noticed that, already,
two of the aides-de-camp salute me very coldly, when they are in her
presence--they dine with me every day, however.
Grushnitski has assumed an air of mystery; he walks with his arms folded
behind his back and does not recognise anyone. His foot has got well
all at once, and there is hardly a sign of a limp. He has found an
opportunity of entering into conversation with Princess Ligovski and of
paying Princess Mary some kind of a compliment. The latter is evidently
not very fastidious, for, ever since, she answers his bow with a most
charming smile.
“Are you sure you do not wish to make the Ligovskis’ acquaintance? ” he
said to me yesterday.
“Positive. ”
“Good gracious! The pleasantest house at the waters! All the best
society of Pyatigorsk is to be found there”. . .
“My friend, I am terribly tired of even other society than that of
Pyatigorsk. So you visit the Ligovskis? ”
“Not yet. I have spoken to Princess Mary once or twice, but that is
all. You know it is rather awkward to go and visit them without being
invited, although that is the custom here. . . It would be a different
matter if I was wearing epaulettes”. . .
“Good heavens!
Why, you are much more interesting as it is! You simply
do not know how to avail yourself of your advantageous position. . . Why,
that soldier’s cloak makes a hero and a martyr of you in the eyes of any
lady of sentiment! ”
Grushnitski smiled complacently.
“What nonsense! ” he said.
“I am convinced,” I continued, “that Princess Mary is in love with you
already. ”
He blushed up to the ears and looked big.
Oh, vanity! Thou art the lever with which Archimedes was to lift the
earthly sphere! . . .
“You are always jesting! ” he said, pretending to be angry. “In the first
place, she knows so little of me as yet”. . .
“Women love only those whom they do not know! ”
“But I have no pretensions whatsoever to pleasing her. I simply wish
to make the acquaintance of an agreeable household; and it would be
extremely ridiculous if I were to cherish the slightest hope. . . With
you, now, for instance, it is a different matter! You Petersburg
conquerors! You have but to look--and women melt. . . But do you know,
Pechorin, what Princess Mary said of you? ”. . .
“What? She has spoken to you already about me? ”. . .
“Do not rejoice too soon, though. The other day, by chance, I entered
into conversation with her at the well; her third word was, ‘Who is
that gentleman with such an unpleasant, heavy glance? He was with you
when’. . . she blushed, and did not like to mention the day, remembering
her own delightful little exploit. ‘You need not tell me what day it
was,’ I answered; ‘it will ever be present to my memory! ’. . . Pechorin,
my friend, I cannot congratulate you, you are in her black books. . . And,
indeed, it is a pity, because Mary is a charming girl! ”. . .
It must be observed that Grushnitski is one of those men who, in
speaking of a woman with whom they are barely acquainted, call her my
Mary, my Sophie, if she has had the good fortune to please them.
I assumed a serious air and answered:
“Yes, she is good-looking. . . Only be careful, Grushnitski! Russian
ladies, for the most part, cherish only Platonic love, without mingling
any thought of matrimony with it; and Platonic love is exceedingly
embarrassing. Princess Mary seems to be one of those women who want to
be amused. If she is bored in your company for two minutes on end--you
are lost irrevocably. Your silence ought to excite her curiosity, your
conversation ought never to satisfy it completely; you should alarm her
every minute; ten times, in public, she will slight people’s opinion for
you and will call that a sacrifice, and, in order to requite herself for
it, she will torment you. Afterwards she will simply say that she cannot
endure you. If you do not acquire authority over her, even her first
kiss will not give you the right to a second. She will flirt with you to
her heart’s content, and, in two years’ time, she will marry a monster,
in obedience to her mother, and will assure herself that she is unhappy,
that she has loved only one man--that is to say, you--but that Heaven
was not willing to unite her to him because he wore a soldier’s cloak,
although beneath that thick, grey cloak beat a heart, passionate and
noble”. . .
Grushnitski smote the table with his fist and fell to walking to and fro
across the room.
I laughed inwardly and even smiled once or twice, but fortunately he did
not notice. It is evident that he is in love, because he has grown even
more confiding than heretofore. Moreover, a ring has made its appearance
on his finger, a silver ring with black enamel of local workmanship. It
struck me as suspicious. . . I began to examine it, and what do you think
I saw? The name Mary was engraved on the inside in small letters, and in
a line with the name was the date on which she had picked up the
famous tumbler. I kept my discovery a secret. I do not want to force
confessions from him, I want him, of his own accord, to choose me as his
confidant--and then I will enjoy myself! . . .
*****
To-day I rose late. I went to the well. I found nobody there. The
day grew hot. White, shaggy cloudlets were flitting rapidly from the
snow-clad mountains, giving promise of a thunderstorm; the summit of
Mount Mashuk was smoking like a just extinguished torch; grey wisps of
cloud were coiling and creeping like snakes around it, arrested in
their rapid sweep and, as it were, hooked to its prickly brushwood. The
atmosphere was charged with electricity. I plunged into the avenue of
the vines leading to the grotto.
I felt low-spirited. I was thinking of the lady with the little mole on
her cheek, of whom the doctor had spoken to me. . . “Why is she here? ” I
thought. “And is it she? And what reason have I for thinking it is? And
why am I so certain of it? Is there not many a woman with a mole on her
cheek? ” Reflecting in such wise I came right up to the grotto. I looked
in and I saw that a woman, wearing a straw hat and wrapped in a black
shawl, was sitting on a stone seat in the cold shade of the arch. Her
head was sunk upon her breast, and the hat covered her face. I was just
about to turn back, in order not to disturb her meditations, when she
glanced at me.
“Vera! ” I exclaimed involuntarily.
She started and turned pale.
“I knew that you were here,” she said.
I sat down beside her and took her hand. A long-forgotten tremor ran
through my veins at the sound of that dear voice. She gazed into my
face with her deep, calm eyes. Mistrust and something in the nature of
reproach were expressed in her glance.
“We have not seen each other for a long time,” I said.
“A long time, and we have both changed in many ways. ”
“Consequently you love me no longer? ”. . .
“I am married! ”. . . she said.
“Again? A few years ago, however, that reason also existed, but,
nevertheless”. . .
She plucked her hand away from mine and her cheeks flamed.
“Perhaps you love your second husband? ”. . .
She made no answer and turned her head away.
“Or is he very jealous? ”
She remained silent.
“What then? He is young, handsome and, I suppose, rich--which is the
chief thing--and you are afraid? ”. . .
I glanced at her and was alarmed. Profound despair was depicted upon her
countenance; tears were glistening in her eyes.
“Tell me,” she whispered at length, “do you find it very amusing to
torture me? I ought to hate you. Since we have known each other, you
have given me naught but suffering”. . .
Her voice shook; she leaned over to me, and let her head sink upon my
breast.
“Perhaps,” I reflected, “it is for that very reason that you have loved
me; joys are forgotten, but sorrows never”. . .
I clasped her closely to my breast, and so we remained for a long
time. At length our lips drew closer and became blent in a fervent,
intoxicating kiss. Her hands were cold as ice; her head was burning.
And hereupon we embarked upon one of those conversations which, on
paper, have no sense, which it is impossible to repeat, and impossible
even to retain in memory. The meaning of the sounds replaces and
completes the meaning of the words, as in Italian opera.
She is decidedly averse to my making the acquaintance of her husband,
the lame old man of whom I had caught a glimpse on the boulevard.
She married him for the sake of her son. He is rich, and suffers from
attacks of rheumatism. I did not allow myself even a single scoff at
his expense. She respects him as a father, and will deceive him as a
husband. . . A strange thing, the human heart in general, and woman’s
heart in particular.
Vera’s husband, Semyon Vasilevich G----v, is a distant relation of
Princess Ligovski. He lives next door to her. Vera frequently visits
the Princess. I have given her my promise to make the Ligovskis’
acquaintance, and to pay court to Princess Mary in order to distract
attention from Vera. In such way, my plans have been not a little
deranged, but it will be amusing for me. . .
Amusing! . . . Yes, I have already passed that period of spiritual
life when happiness alone is sought, when the heart feels the urgent
necessity of violently and passionately loving somebody. Now my only
wish is to be loved, and that by very few. I even think that I would be
content with one constant attachment. A wretched habit of the heart! . . .
One thing has always struck me as strange. I have never made myself the
slave of the woman I have loved. On the contrary, I have always acquired
an invincible power over her will and heart, without in the least
endeavouring to do so. Why is this? Is it because I never esteem
anything highly, and she has been continually afraid to let me out of
her hands? Or is it the magnetic influence of a powerful organism? Or is
it, simply, that I have never succeeded in meeting a woman of stubborn
character?
I must confess that, in fact, I do not love women who possess strength
of character. What business have they with such a thing?
Indeed, I remember now. Once and once only did I love a woman who had
a firm will which I was never able to vanquish. . . We parted as
enemies--and then, perhaps, if I had met her five years later we would
have parted otherwise. . .
Vera is ill, very ill, although she does not admit it. I fear she has
consumption, or that disease which is called “fievre lente”--a quite
unRussian disease, and one for which there is no name in our language.
