Scrawled
b:- the ages for tllf' e:-e to solicit in
vain.
vain.
Samuel Beckett
Clash of black and white that far from
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home! _\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now. Such the confusion now between real
and-how say its contrary? No matter. That old tan
dem. Such now the confusion between them once so
twain. And such the farrago from eye to mind. For it
L.
to make what sad sense of it may. No matter now. Such equal liars both. Real and-how ill say its con trar:'? The counter-poison.
Still fresh the coffer fiasco what now of all things
L
but a trapdoor. So cunningly contrived that even to
the lidded eye it scarcely shows. Careful. Raise it at
once and risk another rebuff? No question. Simply
savour in advance with in mind the grisl:' cupboard its
conceivable contents. For the first time then wooden
floor. Its boards in line with the trap's designed to con
ccal it. Promising this flagrant concern \\'ith carnou-
LL
flage. But lleware. Question In' the way what wood of
death-paler than life.
While head included she lies hidden time for a turn
in the pastures. No shock were she alread:' dead. As
of course she is. But in the meantime more convenient
not. Still living then she lies hidden. Having for some
reason covered her head. Or for no reason. Kight.
L
When not evening night. Winter night. No snow. For
the sake of variety. To vary the monoton:. The limp
grass strangel:' rigid under the weight of the rime.
Clawed by the long black skirt how if but heard it must . L
murmur. Moonless star-studded sky reflected in the
erosions filmed with ice. The silence merges into music
infinitely far and as unbroken as silence. Ceaseless
celestial winds in unison. For all all matters now. The
stones gleam faintly afar and the cabin walls seen white
L . '
at last. Said white. The guardians-the twelve are there but not at full muster. \Vell! Above all not understand. Simpl:' note how those still faithful have moved apart. Such ill seen that night in the pastures. While head
82
8. 3
included she lies hidden. Under on closer inspection a
long greatcoat. A man's b\ the buttons. The button- LL.
holes. Eyes closecl does sllf' SFe him?
White \\'ellIs. High time. White as new. N"o wind.
L
1\ot a breath. Unbeaten on b:- all that comes beating
down. And m:{ster! ' the sun has spared them. The sun
that once bcat down. So cast and west sides the re
cfuired clash. South gable no problem. But the other.
That claar. Carefu1. Black too? Black too. A. ml the
r o o L S l a t c s . ~lore. S m a ] ] s l a t e s b l a c k t o o b r o u g h t
from a ruined mansion. What tales bad thf'Y tongues
. u
to tel1. Their lung tale tolcl. Such the dwelling i11 seen i]] ,;aid. Outwardh. High tinll'.
Changcll the stone that draws her when revisitecl
L
alonc. Or she who changes it wheu side by sicle. Now
L,
alone it leans. Bacb\-ard or forwanl as the case mav be.
Is it to nature alone it O\\-es its rough-hewn air? Or to
some too human hand forced to desist? As lVIichel
angelo's from the regicille's bust. If there llIal not LL
be no more cIuestion,; let tlwre at It'asl be no ! Ilore
answers. Granite of no common variety assuredh. Black as jade the jasper that flecks its whiteness. On its what is the wrong word its uptilted face obscure graffiti.
Scrawled b:- the ages for tllf' e:-e to solicit in
vain. Winter evenings on her doorstep she imagines she can see it glitter afar. When from their source in the west-south-west the last rays rake its averse face. Such ill seen the stone alone where it stands at the far fringe of the pastures. On her way out with the flowers
as unerring as best she can she lingers by- it. As on her way back with empty hands. Lingers by it a while on
))u)
her way on. Toward the one or other abode. As un erring as best she can.
See them again side by side. Not quite touching. Lit aslant by the latest last rays they cast to the east-north east their long parallel shadows. Evening therefore. Winter evening. It will always be evening. Always
winter. When not night. Winter night. No more lambs. No more flowers. Empty-handed she shall go to the tomb. Until she go no more. Or no more return. So much for that. Undistinguishable the twin shadows.
HI
85
Till one at length more dense as if of a bod\- better G.
opaque. At length more still. As faintl)- at length the other trembles under the staring gaze. Throughout
LLL-
this confrontation the sun stands still. That is to say the earth. Not to recoil on until the parting. Then on its face over the pastures and then the stones the still living shadow slowl:- glides. Lengthening and fading more and more. But never quite away. Under the hovering eye.
Close-up of a dial. Nothing else. White disc divided in minutes. Unless it be in seconds. Sixty black dots. No figure. One hand onlyo Finest of fine black darts. It advances by fits and starts. No tick. Leaps from dot to dot with so lightning a leap that but for its new position it had not stirred. Whole nights ma)- pass as may but a fraction of a second or an)- intermediate lapse of time soever before it flings itself from one degree to the next. None at any moment overleaping in all fairness be it said. Let it when discovered be pointing east. Having thus covered after its fashion assuming the instrument plumb the first quarter of
its latest hour. Unless it be its latest minute. Then doubt certain-then despair certain nights of its ever attaining the last. Ever regaining north.
She reappears at evening at her window. When not
night evening. If she will see Venus again she must GG
open it. Well! First draw aside the curtain and then open. Head bowed she waits to be able. Mindful per haps of evenings when she was able too late. Black night fallen. But no. In her head too pure wait. The curtain. Seen closer thanks to this hiatus it reveals it
self at last for what it is. A black greatcoat. Hooked b) i. ts tails from the rod it hangs sprawling inside out like a carcass in a butcher's stall. Or better inside in for the pathos of the dangling arms. Same infinitesimal
quaver as the buttonhook and passim. Another novelt) the chair drawn up to the window. This to raise the line of sight on the fair prey loftier when first sighted than at first sight ill seen. What empty space henceforward.
For long pacing to and fro in the gloom. Suddenl:- in a single gesture she snatches aside the coat and to again on a sky as black as it. And then? Careful. Have her
86
87
sit? Lie? Kneel? Go? She too vacillates. Till in the end the back and forth preYails. Sends her wavering north and south from wall to wall. In the kindlv dark.
She is vanishing. With the rest. The already ill seen bedimmed and ill seen again annulled. The mind betrays the treacherous eYes and the treacherous word their treacheries. Haze sole certitude. The same that reigns beyond the pastures. It gains them already. It 'will gain the zone of stones. Then the dwelling through
all its chinks. The eve will close in vain. To see but haze. Not even. Be itself but haze. How can it ever be said? Quick however ill said before it submerges all. Light. In one treacherous word. Dazzling haze. Light in its might at last. Where no more to be seen. To be said. Gentl) gently.
The face yet again in the light of the last rays. No loss of pallor. Kone of cold. Suspended on the verge for this sight the westering sun. That is the eastering earth. The thin lips seem as if never again to part.
Peeping from their join a suspicion of pulp. Unlikely site of olden kisses given and received. Or given only. Or rece. ived only. Impressive above all the corners imperceptibly upcurved. A smile? Is it possible? Ghost of an ancient smile smiled finally once and for all. Such ill half seen the mouth in the light of the last rays. Sud denly they leave it. Rather it leaves them. Off again to the dark. There to smile on. If smile is what it is.
Reexamined rid of light the mouth changes. Unex
plainably. Lips as before. Same closure. Same hint of
extruding pulp. At the corners same imperceptible
laxness. In a word the smile still there if smile is what
it is. Neither more nor less. Less! And yet no longer . '-'
. )
88
89
the same. True that light distorts. Particularl)" sunset. That mockery. True too that the eyes then agaze for
,L
the viewless planet are now closed. On other viewless-
ness. Of which more if eyer anon. There the explana
tion at last. This same smile established with eves
open is with them closed no longer the same. Though
LU
between the two inspections the mouth unchanged.
Utterly. Good. But in what wa)- no longer the same? What there now that was not there? What there no more that was? Enough. Away.
Back after many winters. Long after in this endless
winter. This endless heart of winter. Too soon. She as
when fled. Where as when fled. Still or again. Eyes
closed in the dark. To the dark. In their own dark. On
the lips same minute smile. If smile is what it is. In
short alive as she alone knows how neither more nor
less. Less! Compared to true stone. Within as sadly as
before all as at first sight ill seen. With the happ)
exception of the lights' enhanced opacity. Dim the
light of day from them were day again to dawn. With
out on the other hand some progress. Toward unbro
ken night. Universal stone. Day no sooner risen fallen. G.
Scrapped all the ill seen ill said. The e)-e has changed.
And its drivelling scribe. Absence has changed them.
Not enough. Time to go again. Where still more to
change. Whence back too soon. Changed but not GL
enough. Strangers but not enough. To all the ill seen ill said. Then back again. Disarmed for to finish with
it all at last. With her and her rags of sk} and earth.
And if again too soon go again. Change still more
again. Then back again. Barring impediment. Ah. So
on. Till fit to finish with it all at last. All the trash.
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home! _\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now. Such the confusion now between real
and-how say its contrary? No matter. That old tan
dem. Such now the confusion between them once so
twain. And such the farrago from eye to mind. For it
L.
to make what sad sense of it may. No matter now. Such equal liars both. Real and-how ill say its con trar:'? The counter-poison.
Still fresh the coffer fiasco what now of all things
L
but a trapdoor. So cunningly contrived that even to
the lidded eye it scarcely shows. Careful. Raise it at
once and risk another rebuff? No question. Simply
savour in advance with in mind the grisl:' cupboard its
conceivable contents. For the first time then wooden
floor. Its boards in line with the trap's designed to con
ccal it. Promising this flagrant concern \\'ith carnou-
LL
flage. But lleware. Question In' the way what wood of
death-paler than life.
While head included she lies hidden time for a turn
in the pastures. No shock were she alread:' dead. As
of course she is. But in the meantime more convenient
not. Still living then she lies hidden. Having for some
reason covered her head. Or for no reason. Kight.
L
When not evening night. Winter night. No snow. For
the sake of variety. To vary the monoton:. The limp
grass strangel:' rigid under the weight of the rime.
Clawed by the long black skirt how if but heard it must . L
murmur. Moonless star-studded sky reflected in the
erosions filmed with ice. The silence merges into music
infinitely far and as unbroken as silence. Ceaseless
celestial winds in unison. For all all matters now. The
stones gleam faintly afar and the cabin walls seen white
L . '
at last. Said white. The guardians-the twelve are there but not at full muster. \Vell! Above all not understand. Simpl:' note how those still faithful have moved apart. Such ill seen that night in the pastures. While head
82
8. 3
included she lies hidden. Under on closer inspection a
long greatcoat. A man's b\ the buttons. The button- LL.
holes. Eyes closecl does sllf' SFe him?
White \\'ellIs. High time. White as new. N"o wind.
L
1\ot a breath. Unbeaten on b:- all that comes beating
down. And m:{ster! ' the sun has spared them. The sun
that once bcat down. So cast and west sides the re
cfuired clash. South gable no problem. But the other.
That claar. Carefu1. Black too? Black too. A. ml the
r o o L S l a t c s . ~lore. S m a ] ] s l a t e s b l a c k t o o b r o u g h t
from a ruined mansion. What tales bad thf'Y tongues
. u
to tel1. Their lung tale tolcl. Such the dwelling i11 seen i]] ,;aid. Outwardh. High tinll'.
Changcll the stone that draws her when revisitecl
L
alonc. Or she who changes it wheu side by sicle. Now
L,
alone it leans. Bacb\-ard or forwanl as the case mav be.
Is it to nature alone it O\\-es its rough-hewn air? Or to
some too human hand forced to desist? As lVIichel
angelo's from the regicille's bust. If there llIal not LL
be no more cIuestion,; let tlwre at It'asl be no ! Ilore
answers. Granite of no common variety assuredh. Black as jade the jasper that flecks its whiteness. On its what is the wrong word its uptilted face obscure graffiti.
Scrawled b:- the ages for tllf' e:-e to solicit in
vain. Winter evenings on her doorstep she imagines she can see it glitter afar. When from their source in the west-south-west the last rays rake its averse face. Such ill seen the stone alone where it stands at the far fringe of the pastures. On her way out with the flowers
as unerring as best she can she lingers by- it. As on her way back with empty hands. Lingers by it a while on
))u)
her way on. Toward the one or other abode. As un erring as best she can.
See them again side by side. Not quite touching. Lit aslant by the latest last rays they cast to the east-north east their long parallel shadows. Evening therefore. Winter evening. It will always be evening. Always
winter. When not night. Winter night. No more lambs. No more flowers. Empty-handed she shall go to the tomb. Until she go no more. Or no more return. So much for that. Undistinguishable the twin shadows.
HI
85
Till one at length more dense as if of a bod\- better G.
opaque. At length more still. As faintl)- at length the other trembles under the staring gaze. Throughout
LLL-
this confrontation the sun stands still. That is to say the earth. Not to recoil on until the parting. Then on its face over the pastures and then the stones the still living shadow slowl:- glides. Lengthening and fading more and more. But never quite away. Under the hovering eye.
Close-up of a dial. Nothing else. White disc divided in minutes. Unless it be in seconds. Sixty black dots. No figure. One hand onlyo Finest of fine black darts. It advances by fits and starts. No tick. Leaps from dot to dot with so lightning a leap that but for its new position it had not stirred. Whole nights ma)- pass as may but a fraction of a second or an)- intermediate lapse of time soever before it flings itself from one degree to the next. None at any moment overleaping in all fairness be it said. Let it when discovered be pointing east. Having thus covered after its fashion assuming the instrument plumb the first quarter of
its latest hour. Unless it be its latest minute. Then doubt certain-then despair certain nights of its ever attaining the last. Ever regaining north.
She reappears at evening at her window. When not
night evening. If she will see Venus again she must GG
open it. Well! First draw aside the curtain and then open. Head bowed she waits to be able. Mindful per haps of evenings when she was able too late. Black night fallen. But no. In her head too pure wait. The curtain. Seen closer thanks to this hiatus it reveals it
self at last for what it is. A black greatcoat. Hooked b) i. ts tails from the rod it hangs sprawling inside out like a carcass in a butcher's stall. Or better inside in for the pathos of the dangling arms. Same infinitesimal
quaver as the buttonhook and passim. Another novelt) the chair drawn up to the window. This to raise the line of sight on the fair prey loftier when first sighted than at first sight ill seen. What empty space henceforward.
For long pacing to and fro in the gloom. Suddenl:- in a single gesture she snatches aside the coat and to again on a sky as black as it. And then? Careful. Have her
86
87
sit? Lie? Kneel? Go? She too vacillates. Till in the end the back and forth preYails. Sends her wavering north and south from wall to wall. In the kindlv dark.
She is vanishing. With the rest. The already ill seen bedimmed and ill seen again annulled. The mind betrays the treacherous eYes and the treacherous word their treacheries. Haze sole certitude. The same that reigns beyond the pastures. It gains them already. It 'will gain the zone of stones. Then the dwelling through
all its chinks. The eve will close in vain. To see but haze. Not even. Be itself but haze. How can it ever be said? Quick however ill said before it submerges all. Light. In one treacherous word. Dazzling haze. Light in its might at last. Where no more to be seen. To be said. Gentl) gently.
The face yet again in the light of the last rays. No loss of pallor. Kone of cold. Suspended on the verge for this sight the westering sun. That is the eastering earth. The thin lips seem as if never again to part.
Peeping from their join a suspicion of pulp. Unlikely site of olden kisses given and received. Or given only. Or rece. ived only. Impressive above all the corners imperceptibly upcurved. A smile? Is it possible? Ghost of an ancient smile smiled finally once and for all. Such ill half seen the mouth in the light of the last rays. Sud denly they leave it. Rather it leaves them. Off again to the dark. There to smile on. If smile is what it is.
Reexamined rid of light the mouth changes. Unex
plainably. Lips as before. Same closure. Same hint of
extruding pulp. At the corners same imperceptible
laxness. In a word the smile still there if smile is what
it is. Neither more nor less. Less! And yet no longer . '-'
. )
88
89
the same. True that light distorts. Particularl)" sunset. That mockery. True too that the eyes then agaze for
,L
the viewless planet are now closed. On other viewless-
ness. Of which more if eyer anon. There the explana
tion at last. This same smile established with eves
open is with them closed no longer the same. Though
LU
between the two inspections the mouth unchanged.
Utterly. Good. But in what wa)- no longer the same? What there now that was not there? What there no more that was? Enough. Away.
Back after many winters. Long after in this endless
winter. This endless heart of winter. Too soon. She as
when fled. Where as when fled. Still or again. Eyes
closed in the dark. To the dark. In their own dark. On
the lips same minute smile. If smile is what it is. In
short alive as she alone knows how neither more nor
less. Less! Compared to true stone. Within as sadly as
before all as at first sight ill seen. With the happ)
exception of the lights' enhanced opacity. Dim the
light of day from them were day again to dawn. With
out on the other hand some progress. Toward unbro
ken night. Universal stone. Day no sooner risen fallen. G.
Scrapped all the ill seen ill said. The e)-e has changed.
And its drivelling scribe. Absence has changed them.
Not enough. Time to go again. Where still more to
change. Whence back too soon. Changed but not GL
enough. Strangers but not enough. To all the ill seen ill said. Then back again. Disarmed for to finish with
it all at last. With her and her rags of sk} and earth.
And if again too soon go again. Change still more
again. Then back again. Barring impediment. Ah. So
on. Till fit to finish with it all at last. All the trash.
