No More Learning

" asked Miss Burstner, and
instead of looking round the room scrutinised K. "It is true," said K. ,
and now, for the first time, they looked each other in the eyes,
"there's no point in saying exactly how this came about. " "But that's
the interesting thing about it," said Miss Burstner. "No," said K.
"Well then," said Miss Burstner, "I don't want to force my way into any
secrets, if you insist that it's of no interest I won't insist. I'm
quite happy to forgive you for it, as you ask, especially as I can't see
anything at all that's been left untidy. " With her hand laid flat on
her lower hip, she made a tour around the room. At the mat where the
photographs were she stopped. "Look at this! " she cried. "My
photographs really have been put in the wrong places. Oh, that's
horrible. Someone really has been in my room without permission. " K.
nodded, and quietly cursed Kaminer who worked at his bank and who was
always active doing things that had neither use nor purpose. "It is
odd," said Miss Burstner, "that I'm forced to forbid you to do something
that you ought to have forbidden yourself to do, namely to come into my
room when I'm not here. " "But I did explain to you," said K. , and went
over to join her by the photographs, "that it wasn't me who interfered
with your photographs; but as you don't believe me I'll have to admit
that the investigating committee brought along three bank employees with
them, one of them must have touched your photographs and as soon as I
get the chance I'll ask to have him dismissed from the bank. Yes, there
was an investigating committee here," added K. , as the young lady was
looking at him enquiringly. "Because of you? " she asked. "Yes,"
answered K. "No! " the lady cried with a laugh. "Yes, they were," said
K. , "you believe that I'm innocent then, do you? " "Well now, innocent
. . . " said the lady, "I don't want to start making any pronouncements
that might have serious consequences, I don't really know you after all,
it means they're dealing with a serious criminal if they send an
investigating committee straight out to get him. But you're not in
custody now - at least I take it you've not escaped from prison
considering that you seem quite calm - so you can't have committed any
crime of that sort. " "Yes," said K. , "but it might be that the
investigating committee could see that I'm innocent, or not so guilty as
had been supposed. " "Yes, that's certainly a possibility," said Miss
Burstner, who seemed very interested. "Listen," said K. , "you don't
have much experience in legal matters. " "No, that's true, I don't,"
said Miss Burstner, "and I've often regretted it, as I'd like to know
everything and I'm very interested in legal matters. There's something
peculiarly attractive about the law, isn't there? But I'll certainly be
perfecting my knowledge in this area, as next month I start work in a
legal office. " "That's very good," said K. , "that means you'll be able
to give me some help with my trial. " "That could well be," said Miss
Burstner, "why not? I like to make use of what I know. " "I mean it
quite seriously," said K. , "or at least, half seriously, as you do.
This affair is too petty to call in a lawyer, but I could make good use
of someone who could give me advice. " "Yes, but if I'm to give you
advice I'll have to know what it's all about," said Miss Burstner.
"That's exactly the problem," said K. , "I don't know that myself. " "So
you have been making fun of me, then," said Miss Burstner exceedingly
disappointed, "you really ought not to try something like that on at
this time of night. " And she stepped away from the photographs where
they had stood so long together. "Miss Burstner, no," said K. , "I'm not
making fun of you. Please believe me! I've already told you everything
I know. More than I know, in fact, as it actually wasn't even an
investigating committee, that's just what I called them because I don't
know what else to call them. There was no cross questioning at all, I
was merely arrested, but by a committee. " Miss Burstner sat on the
ottoman and laughed again. "What was it like then? " she asked. "It was
terrible" said K. , although his mind was no longer on the subject, he
had become totally absorbed by Miss Burstner's gaze who was supporting
her chin on one hand - the elbow rested on the cushion of the ottoman -
and slowly stroking her hip with the other. "That's too vague," said
Miss Burstner. "What's too vague? " asked K. Then he remembered himself
and asked, "Would you like me to show you what it was like? " He wanted
to move in some way but did not want to leave. "I'm already tired,"
said Miss Burstner. "You arrived back so late," said K. "Now you've
started telling me off. Well I suppose I deserve it as I shouldn't have
let you in here in the first place, and it turns out there wasn't even
any point. " "Oh, there was a point, you'll see now how important a
point it was," said K. "May I move this table away from your bedside
and put it here? " "What do you think you're doing? " said Miss Burstner.
"Of course you can't! " "In that case I can't show you," said K. , quite
upset, as if Miss Burstner had committed some incomprehensible offence
against him. "Alright then, if you need it to show what you mean, just
take the bedside table then," said Miss Burstner, and after a short
pause added in a weak voice, "I'm so tired I'm allowing more than I
ought to. " K. put the little table in the middle of the room and sat
down behind it. "You have to get a proper idea of where the people were
situated, it is very interesting. I'm the supervisor, sitting over
there on the chest are two policemen, standing next to the photographs
there are three young people. Hanging on the handle of the window is a
white blouse - I just mention that by the way. And now it begins. Ah
yes, I'm forgetting myself, the most important person of all, so I'm
standing here in front of the table. The supervisor is sitting
extremely comfortably with his legs crossed and his arm hanging over the
backrest here like some layabout. And now it really does begin. The
supervisor calls out as if he had to wake me up, in fact he shouts at
me, I'm afraid, if I'm to make it clear to you, I'll have to shout as
well, and it's nothing more than my name that he shouts out. " Miss
Burstner, laughing as she listened to him, laid her forefinger on her
mouth so that K. would not shout, but it was too late. K. was too
engrossed in his role and slowly called out, "Josef K. ! ". It was not as
loud as he had threatened, but nonetheless, once he had suddenly called
it out, the cry seemed gradually to spread itself all round the room.

There was a series of loud, curt and regular knocks at the door of
the adjoining room. Miss Burstner went pale and laid her hand on her
heart. K. was especially startled, as for a moment he had been quite
unable to think of anything other than the events of that morning and
the girl for whom he was performing them. He had hardly pulled himself
together when he jumped over to Miss Burstner and took her hand. "Don't
be afraid," he whispered, "I'll put everything right. But who can it
be? It's only the living room next door, nobody sleeps in there. " "Yes
they do," whispered Miss Burstner into K. 's ear, "a nephew of Mrs.
Grubach's, an captain in the army, has been sleeping there since
yesterday. There's no other room free. I'd forgotten about it too.
Why did you have to shout like that? You've made me quite upset. "
"There is no reason for it," said K. , and, now as she sank back onto the
cushion, kissed her forehead. "Go away, go away," she said, hurriedly
sitting back up, "get out of here, go, what is it you want, he's
listening at the door he can hear everything. You're causing me so much
trouble! " "I won't go," said K. , "until you've calmed down a bit. Come
over into the other corner of the room, he won't be able to hear us
there. " She let him lead her there. "Don't forget," he said, "although
this might be unpleasant for you you're not in any real danger. You
know how much esteem Mrs. Grubach has for me, she's the one who will
make all the decisions in this, especially as the captain is her nephew,
but she believes everything I say without question. What's more, she
has borrowed a large sum of money from me and that makes her dependent
on me. I will confirm whatever you say to explain our being here
together, however inappropriate it might be, and I guarantee to make
sure that Mrs. Grubach will not only say she believes the explanation in
public but will believe it truly and sincerely. You will have no need
to consider me in any way. If you wish to let it be known that I have
attacked you then Mrs. Grubach will be informed of such and she will
believe it without even losing her trust in me, that's how much respect
she has for me. " Miss Burstner looked at the floor in front of her,
quiet and a little sunk in on herself. "Why would Mrs. Grubach not
believe that I've attacked you? " added K. He looked at her hair in front
of him, parted, bunched down, reddish and firmly held in place. He
thought she would look up at him, but without changing her manner she
said, "Forgive me, but it was the suddenness of the knocking that
startled me so much, not so much what the consequences of the captain
being here might be. It was all so quiet after you'd shouted, and then
there was the knocking, that's was made me so shocked, and I was sitting
right by the door, the knocking was right next to me. Thank you for
your suggestions, but I won't accept them. I can bear the
responsibility for anything that happens in my room myself, and I can do
so with anyone. I'm surprised you don't realise just how insulting your
suggestions are and what they imply about me, although I certainly
acknowledge your good intentions. But now, please go, leave me alone, I
need you to go now even more than I did earlier. The couple of minutes
you asked for have grown into half an hour, more than half an hour now. "
K. took hold of her hand, and then of her wrist, "You're not cross with
me, though? " he said. She pulled her hand away and answered, "No, no,
I'm never cross with anyone. " He grasped her wrist once more, she
tolerated it now and, in that way, lead him to the door. He had fully
intended to leave. But when he reached the door he came to a halt as if
he hadn't expected to find a door there, Miss Burstner made use of that
moment to get herself free, open the door, slip out into the hallway and
gently say to K. from there, "Now, come along, please. Look," she
pointed to the captain's door, from under which there was a light
shining, "he's put a light on and he's laughing at us. " "Alright, I'm
coming," said K. , moved forward, took hold of her, kissed her on the
mouth and then over her whole face like a thirsty animal lapping with
its tongue when it eventually finds water. He finally kissed her on her
neck and her throat and left his lips pressed there for a long time. He
did not look up until there was a noise from the captain's room. "I'll
go now," he said, he wanted to address Miss Burstner by her Christian
name, but did not know it. She gave him a tired nod, offered him her
hand to kiss as she turned away as if she did not know what she was
doing, and went back into her room with her head bowed. A short while
later, K. was lying in his bed. He very soon went to sleep, but before
he did he thought a little while about his behaviour, he was satisfied
with it but felt some surprise that he was not more satisfied; he was
seriously worried about Miss Burstner because of the captain.




Chapter Two
First Cross-examination

K. was informed by telephone that there would be a small hearing
concerning his case the following Sunday. He was made aware that these
cross examinations would follow one another regularly, perhaps not every
week but quite frequently. On the one hand it was in everyone's interest
to bring proceedings quickly to their conclusion, but on the other hand
every aspect of the examinations had to be carried out thoroughly
without lasting too long because of the associated stress. For these
reasons, it had been decided to hold a series of brief examinations
following on one after another. Sunday had been chosen as the day for
the hearings so that K. would not be disturbed in his professional work.
It was assumed that he would be in agreement with this, but if he wished
for another date then, as far as possible, he would be accommodated.
Cross-examinations could even be held in the night, for instance, but K.
would probably not be fresh enough at that time. Anyway, as long as K.
made no objection, the hearing would be left on Sundays. It was a
matter of course that he would have to appear without fail, there was
probably no need to point this out to him. He would be given the number
of the building where he was to present himself, which was in a street
in a suburb well away from the city centre which K. had never been to
before.

Once he had received this notice, K. hung up the receiver without
giving an answer; he had decided immediately to go there that Sunday, it
was certainly necessary, proceedings had begun and he had to face up to
it, and this first examination would probably also be the last. He was
still standing in thought by the telephone when he heard the voice of
the deputy director behind him - he wanted to use the telephone but K.
stood in his way. "Bad news? " asked the deputy director casually, not
in order to find anything out but just to get K. away from the device.
"No, no," said K. , he stepped to one side but did not go away entirely.
The deputy director picked up the receiver and, as he waited for his
connection, turned away from it and said to K. , "One question, Mr. K. :
Would you like to give me the pleasure of joining me on my sailing boat
on Sunday morning? There's quite a few people coming, you're bound to
know some of them. One of them is Hasterer, the state attorney. Would
you like to come along? Do come along! " K. tried to pay attention to
what the deputy director was saying. It was of no small importance for
him, as this invitation from the deputy director, with whom he had never
got on very well, meant that he was trying to improve his relations with
him. It showed how important K. had become in the bank and how its
second most important official seemed to value his friendship, or at
least his impartiality. He was only speaking at the side of the
telephone receiver while he waited for his connection, but in giving
this invitation the deputy director was humbling himself. But K. would
have to humiliate him a second time as a result, he said, "Thank you
very much, but I'm afraid I will have no time on Sunday, I have a
previous obligation.
" "Pity," said the deputy director, and turned to
the telephone conversation that had just been connected. It was not a
short conversation, but K. , remained standing confused by the instrument
all the time it was going on. It was only when the deputy director hung
up that he was shocked into awareness and said, in order to partially
excuse his standing there for no reason, "I've just received a telephone
call, there's somewhere I need to go, but they forgot to tell me what
time. " "Ask them then," said the deputy director. "It's not that
important," said K. , although in that way his earlier excuse, already
weak enough, was made even weaker. As he went, the deputy director
continued to speak about other things. K. forced himself to answer, but
his thoughts were mainly about that Sunday, how it would be best to get
there for nine o'clock in the morning as that was the time that courts
always start work on weekdays.

The weather was dull on Sunday. K. was very tired, as he had
stayed out drinking until late in the night celebrating with some of the
regulars, and he had almost overslept. He dressed hurriedly, without
the time to think and assemble the various plans he had worked out
during the week. With no breakfast, he rushed to the suburb he had been
told about. Oddly enough, although he had little time to look around
him, he came across the three bank officials involved in his case,
Rabensteiner, Kullich and Kaminer. The first two were travelling in a
tram that went across K. 's route, but Kaminer sat on the terrace of a
cafe and leant curiously over the wall as K. came over. All of them
seemed to be looking at him, surprised at seeing their superior running;
it was a kind of pride that made K. want to go on foot, this was his
affair and the idea of any help from strangers, however slight, was
repulsive to him, he also wanted to avoid asking for anyone's help
because that would initiate them into the affair even if only slightly.
And after all, he had no wish at all to humiliate himself before the
committee by being too punctual. Anyway, now he was running so that he
would get there by nine o'clock if at all possible, even though he had
no appointment for this time.

He had thought that he would recognise the building from a
distance by some kind of sign, without knowing exactly what the sign
would look like, or from some particular kind of activity outside the
entrance. K. had been told that the building was in Juliusstrasse, but
when he stood at the street's entrance it consisted on each side of
almost nothing but monotonous, grey constructions, tall blocks of flats
occupied by poor people. Now, on a Sunday morning, most of the windows
were occupied, men in their shirtsleeves leant out smoking, or carefully
and gently held small children on the sills. Other windows were piled
up with bedding, above which the dishevelled head of a woman would
briefly appear. People called out to each other across the street, one
of the calls provoked a loud laugh about K. himself. It was a long
street, and spaced evenly along it were small shops below street level,
selling various kinds of foodstuffs, which you reached by going down a
few steps. Women went in and out of them or stood chatting on the
steps. A fruitmonger, taking his goods up to the windows, was just as
inattentive as K. and nearly knocked him down with his cart. Just then,
a gramophone, which in better parts of town would have been seen as worn
out, began to play some murderous tune.

K. went further into the street, slowly, as if he had plenty of
time now, or as if the examining magistrate were looking at him from one
of the windows and therefore knew that K. had found his way there. It
was shortly after nine. The building was quite far down the street, it
covered so much area it was almost extraordinary, and the gateway in
particular was tall and long. It was clearly intended for delivery
wagons belonging to the various warehouses all round the yard which were
now locked up and carried the names of companies some of which K. knew
from his work at the bank. In contrast with his usual habits, he
remained standing a while at the entrance to the yard taking in all
these external details. Near him, there was a bare-footed man sitting
on a crate and reading a newspaper. There were two lads swinging on a
hand cart. In front of a pump stood a weak, young girl in a bedjacket
who, as the water flowed into her can, looked at K. There was a piece
of rope stretched between two windows in a corner of the yard, with some
washing hanging on it to dry. A man stood below it calling out
instructions to direct the work being done.

K. went over to the stairway to get to the room where the hearing
was to take place, but then stood still again as besides these steps he
could see three other stairway entrances, and there also seemed to be a
small passageway at the end of the yard leading into a second yard. It
irritated him that he had not been given more precise directions to the
room, it meant they were either being especially neglectful with him or
especially indifferent, and he decided to make that clear to them very
loudly and very unambiguously. In the end he decided to climb up the
stairs, his thoughts playing on something that he remembered the
policeman, Willem, saying to him; that the court is attracted by the
guilt, from which it followed that the courtroom must be on the stairway
that K. selected by chance.

As he went up he disturbed a large group of children playing on
the stairs who looked at him as he stepped through their rows. "Next
time I come here," he said to himself, "I must either bring sweets with
me to make them like me or a stick to hit them with. " Just before he
reached the first landing he even had to wait a little while until a
ball had finished its movement, two small lads with sly faces like
grown-up scoundrels held him by his trouser-legs until it had; if he
were to shake them off he would have to hurt them, and he was afraid of
what noise they would make by shouting.

On the first floor, his search began for real. He still felt
unable to ask for the investigating committee, and so he invented a
joiner called Lanz - that name occurred to him because the captain, Mrs.
Grubach's nephew, was called Lanz - so that he could ask at every flat
whether Lanz the joiner lived there and thus obtain a chance to look
into the rooms. It turned out, though, that that was mostly possible
without further ado, as almost all the doors were left open and the
children ran in and out. Most of them were small, one-windowed rooms
where they also did the cooking. Many women held babies in one arm and
worked at the stove with the other. Half grown girls, who seemed to be
dressed in just their pinafores worked hardest running to and fro. In
every room, the beds were still in use by people who were ill, or still
asleep, or people stretched out on them in their clothes. K. knocked at
the flats where the doors were closed and asked whether Lanz the joiner
lived there. It was usually a woman who opened the door, heard the
enquiry and turned to somebody in the room who would raise himself from
the bed. "The gentleman's asking if a joiner called Lanz, lives here. "
"A joiner, called Lanz? " he would ask from the bed. " "That's right," K.
would say, although it was clear that the investigating committee was
not to be found there, and so his task was at an end. There were many
who thought it must be very important for K. to find Lanz the joiner and
thought long about it, naming a joiner who was not called Lanz or giving
a name that had some vague similarity with Lanz, or they asked
neighbours or accompanied K. to a door a long way away where they
thought someone of that sort might live in the back part of the building
or where someone would be who could advise K. better than they could
themselves. K. eventually had to give up asking if he did not want to
be led all round from floor to floor in this way. He regretted his
initial plan, which had at first seemed so practical to him. As he
reached the fifth floor, he decided to give up the search, took his
leave of a friendly, young worker who wanted to lead him on still
further and went down the stairs. But then the thought of how much time
he was wasting made him cross, he went back again and knocked at the
first door on the fifth floor. The first thing he saw in the small room
was a large clock on the wall which already showed ten o'clock. "Is
there a joiner called Lanz who lives here? " he asked. "Pardon? " said a
young woman with black, shining eyes who was, at that moment, washing
children's underclothes in a bucket. She pointed her wet hand towards
the open door of the adjoining room.

K. thought he had stepped into a meeting. A medium sized, two
windowed room was filled with the most diverse crowd of people - nobody
paid any attention to the person who had just entered. Close under its
ceiling it was surrounded by a gallery which was also fully occupied and
where the people could only stand bent down with their heads and their
backs touching the ceiling. K. , who found the air too stuffy, stepped
out again and said to the young woman, who had probably misunderstood
what he had said, "I asked for a joiner, someone by the name of Lanz. "
"Yes," said the woman, "please go on in. " K. would probably not have
followed her if the woman had not gone up to him, taken hold of the door
handle and said, "I'll have to close the door after you, no-one else
will be allowed in. " "Very sensible," said K. , "but it's too full
already. " But then he went back in anyway. He passed through between
two men who were talking beside the door - one of them held both hands
far out in front of himself making the movements of counting out money,
the other looked him closely in the eyes - and someone took him by the
hand. It was a small, red-faced youth. "Come in, come in," he said.
K. let himself be led by him, and it turned out that there was -
surprisingly in a densely packed crowd of people moving to and fro - a
narrow passage which may have been the division between two factions;
this idea was reinforced by the fact that in the first few rows to the
left and the right of him there was hardly any face looking in his
direction, he saw nothing but the backs of people directing their speech
and their movements only towards members of their own side. Most of
them were dressed in black, in old, long, formal frock coats that hung
down loosely around them. These clothes were the only thing that
puzzled K. , as he would otherwise have taken the whole assembly for a
local political meeting.

At the other end of the hall where K. had been led there was a
little table set at an angle on a very low podium which was as
overcrowded as everywhere else, and behind the table, near the edge of
the podium, sat a small, fat, wheezing man who was talking with someone
behind him. This second man was standing with his legs crossed and his
elbows on the backrest of the chair, provoking much laughter. From time
to time he threw his arm in the air as if doing a caricature of someone.
The youth who was leading K. had some difficulty in reporting to the
man. He had already tried twice to tell him something, standing on tip-
toe, but without getting the man's attention as he sat there above him.
It was only when one of the people up on the podium drew his attention
to the youth that the man turned to him and leant down to hear what it
was he quietly said. Then he pulled out his watch and quickly looked
over at K. "You should have been here one hour and five minutes ago,"
he said. K. was going to give him a reply but had no time to do so, as
hardly had the man spoken than a general muttering arose all over the
right hand side of the hall. "You should have been here one hour and
five minutes ago," the man now repeated, raising his voice this time,
and quickly looked round the hall beneath him. The muttering also
became immediately louder and, as the man said nothing more, died away
only gradually. Now the hall was much quieter than when K. had entered.
Only the people up in the gallery had not stopped passing remarks. As
far as could be distinguished, up in the half-darkness, dust and haze,
they seemed to be less well dressed than those below. Many of them had
brought pillows that they had put between their heads and the ceiling so
that they would not hurt themselves pressed against it.

K. had decided he would do more watching than talking, so he did
not defend himself for supposedly having come late, and simply said,
"Well maybe I have arrived late, I'm here now. " There followed loud
applause, once more from the right hand side of the hall. Easy people
to get on your side, thought K. , and was bothered only by the quiet from
the left hand side which was directly behind him and from which there
was applause from only a few individuals. He wondered what he could say
to get all of them to support him together or, if that were not
possible, to at least get the support of the others for a while.

"Yes," said the man, "but I'm now no longer under any obligation
to hear your case" - there was once more a muttering, but this time it
was misleading as the man waved the people's objections aside with his
hand and continued - "I will, however, as an exception, continue with it
today. But you should never arrive late like this again. And now, step
forward! " Someone jumped down from the podium so that there would be a
place free for K. , and K. stepped up onto it. He stood pressed closely
against the table, the press of the crowd behind him was so great that
he had to press back against it if he did not want to push the judge's
desk down off the podium and perhaps the judge along with it.

The judge, however, paid no attention to that but sat very
comfortably on his chair and, after saying a few words to close his
discussion with the man behind him, reached for a little note book, the
only item on his desk. It was like an old school exercise book and had
become quite misshapen from much thumbing. "Now then," said the judge,
thumbing through the book. He turned to K. with the tone of someone who
knows his facts and said, "you are a house painter? " "No," said K. , "I
am the chief clerk in a large bank. " This reply was followed by
laughter among the right hand faction down in the hall, it was so hearty
that K. couldn't stop himself joining in with it. The people supported
themselves with their hands on their knees and shook as if suffering a
serious attack of coughing. Even some of those in the gallery were
laughing. The judge had become quite cross but seemed to have no power
over those below him in the hall, he tried to reduce what harm had been
done in the gallery and jumped up threatening them, his eyebrows, until
then hardly remarkable, pushed themselves up and became big, black and
bushy over his eyes.

The left hand side of the hall was still quiet, though, the people
stood there in rows with their faces looking towards the podium
listening to what was being said there, they observed the noise from the
other side of the hall with the same quietness and even allowed some
individuals from their own ranks, here and there, to go forward into the
other faction. The people in the left faction were not only fewer in
number than the right but probably were no more important than them,
although their behaviour was calmer and that made it seem like they
were. When K. now began to speak he was convinced he was doing it in
the same way as them.

"Your question, My Lord, as to whether I am a house painter - in
fact even more than that, you did not ask at all but merely imposed it
on me - is symptomatic of the whole way these proceedings against me are
being carried out. Perhaps you will object that there are no
proceedings against me. You will be quite right, as there are
proceedings only if I acknowledge that there are. But, for the moment,
I do acknowledge it, out of pity for yourselves to a large extent. It's
impossible not to observe all this business without feeling pity. I
don't say things are being done without due care but I would like to
make it clear that it is I who make the acknowledgement. "

K. stopped speaking and looked down into the hall. He had spoken
sharply, more sharply than he had intended, but he had been quite right.
It should have been rewarded with some applause here and there but
everything was quiet, they were all clearly waiting for what would
follow, perhaps the quietness was laying the ground for an outbreak of
activity that would bring this whole affair to an end. It was somewhat
disturbing that just then the door at the end of the hall opened, the
young washerwoman, who seemed to have finished her work, came in and,
despite all her caution, attracted the attention of some of the people
there. It was only the judge who gave K. any direct pleasure, as he
seemed to have been immediately struck by K. 's words. Until then, he
had listened to him standing, as K. 's speech had taken him by surprise
while he was directing his attention to the gallery. Now, in the pause,
he sat down very slowly, as if he did not want anyone to notice. He
took out the notebook again, probably so that he could give the
impression of being calmer.

"That won't help you, sir," continued K. , "even your little book
will only confirm what I say. " K. was satisfied to hear nothing but his
own quiet words in this room full of strangers, and he even dared
casually to pick up the examining judge's notebook and, touching it only
with the tips of his fingers as if it were something revolting, lifted
it in the air, holding it just by one of the middle pages so that the
others on each side of it, closely written, blotted and yellowing,
flapped down. "Those are the official notes of the examining judge," he
said, and let the notebook fall down onto the desk. "You can read in
your book as much as you like, sir, I really don't have anything in this
charge book to be afraid of, even though I don't have access to it as I
wouldn't want it in my hand, I can only touch it with two fingers. " The
judge grabbed the notebook from where it had fallen on the desk - which
could only have been a sign of his deep humiliation, or at least that is
how it must have been perceived - tried to tidy it up a little, and held
it once more in front of himself in order to read from it.

The people in the front row looked up at him, showing such tension
on their faces that he looked back down at them for some time. Every
one of them was an old man, some of them with white beards. Could they
perhaps be the crucial group who could turn the whole assembly one way
or the other? They had sunk into a state of motionlessness while K.
gave his oration, and it had not been possible to raise them from this
passivity even when the judge was being humiliated. "What has happened
to me," continued K. , with less of the vigour he had had earlier, he
continually scanned the faces in the first row, and this gave his
address a somewhat nervous and distracted character, "what has happened
to me is not just an isolated case. If it were it would not be of much
importance as it's not of much importance to me, but it is a symptom of
proceedings which are carried out against many. It's on behalf of them
that I stand here now, not for myself alone. "

Without having intended it, he had raised his voice. Somewhere in
the hall, someone raised his hands and applauded him shouting, "Bravo!
Why not then? Bravo! Again I say, Bravo! " Some of the men in the
first row groped around in their beards, none of them looked round to
see who was shouting. Not even K. thought him of any importance but it
did raise his spirits; he no longer thought it at all necessary that all
of those in the hall should applaud him, it was enough if the majority
of them began to think about the matter and if only one of them, now
and then, was persuaded.

"I'm not trying to be a successful orator," said K. after this
thought, "that's probably more than I'm capable of anyway. I'm sure the
examining judge can speak far better than I can, it is part of his job
after all. All that I want is a public discussion of a public wrong.