No More Learning

What braulynge knave is there at the courte-gate so early 2
Wyll. It is some brainesicke villaine, I durst lay a pennie.
Jacke, Was it you”, sir, that cryed so lowde I trow,
And bid us take in coles for the kinges mouth even now Ż
Grimme. 'Twas I, indeede.
Jacke. Why, sir, how dare you speake such petie treason 7
Doth the king eate coles at any season ?
Grimme. Heere is a gaye world ! boyes now settes olde men to scoole.
I sayde wel enough: what, Jack sawce, thinkst cham a foole 2
At bakehouse, buttrie hatch, kitchen, and seller,
Doo” they not say for the kinges mouth 2 Wyll. What then, goodman coliar?
Grimme. What then I seing without coles thei cannot finely dresse the kinges meat,
May I not say take in coles for the kinges mouth,
though coles he do not eate?
Jacke. James | Christe I came ever from a colier an
Here entreth GRIMM E the Colier, whistling.
*
aunswer so trimme 2
Yo*u are learned, are you not, father Grimme?
you] you,
Was it It was 1st edit. -
*9 Dool Doth, 2d edit.
-
Wyll. So it seemes, you have so much mother wit, that you lacke your father's wisdome.
Grimme. Masse, chain well beset, here's a trimme cast of Murlons",
What be you, my pretie cockerels, that aske me these questions?
Jacke. Good faith, maister Grimme", if such Mar lines on your pouch may light,
Thei are so quick of winge, that quickly they can carie it out of your sight;
And though we are cockerels now, we shall have spurs one day,
And shall be able perhaps to make you a capon :
But to tell you the trouth, we are the porter's men,
which early and late
Wayte on such gentlemen as you, to open the court gate.
-
Grimme. Pretie men (quoth you)? nay, you are
stronge men, els you coulde not beare these britches.
Wyll. Are these such * great hose ? in faith, good man colier, you see with your nose:
° a trimme cast of Murlons, i. e. a cast of that species of hawks that were called Merlins. S.
He calls them Murlons on account of their size. Merlins were
the smallest species of hawks. Turberville says, “These merlyns “are very much like the haggart falcon in plume, in seare of the “foote, in beake and talons. So as there seemeth to be no oddes
232 DAMON AND PITHIAS.
Grimme. Grimme is my name indeed, cham not
learned, and yet the king's colier:
-
This vortie winter cha bin to the king a serviter, Though I be not learned, yet cha mother witte enough
whole and some.
Grimme. Are ye servants then?
Wyll. Yea, sir; are we not pretie men 7
“ or difference at al betwixt them save only in the bignesse, she hath like demeanure, like plume, and very like conditions
“falcon, and hir kind like courage, and therefore must kept choycely and daintily the falcon. ” The merlin was Chiefly used small birds; and Latham says, was particu
larly appropriated
the service ladies. "maister Grimme] father Grimme, edit.
“Such,” adopted into the original text from the edit. C.
w
as is of
3.
it
““ *
2d
to fly
in to at
of
as
as
to for be the
DAMON AND PIT HIAS, 233
By myme honestie, I have but one lining in one hose, but seven els of roug.
Grimmer. This is but a little, yet it makes thee seeme a great bugge.
Jacke. How say you, goodman colier, can you finde any fault here **
Grimme. Nay, you should finde faught, mary here's trim geare :
Alas, little knave, dost not sweat? thou goest with great payne,
These are no hose, but water bougets, I tell thee playne;
Good for none but suche as have no buttockes.
Dyd you ever see two suche little Robin ruddockes"
So laden with breeches : chill say no more leste I offende.
Who invented these monsters “first, did it to a gostly ende,
To have a male readie to put in other folkes stuffe,
Wee see this evident by dayly prooffe.
One preached of late not farre hence, in no pulpet, but in a wayne carte,
That spake enough of this; but for my parte,
Chil say no more: your owne necessitie
In the end wyll force you to finde some remedy.
Jacke. Wyl", holde this railinge knave with a talke when I am gone :
I wyll fetch him his filling ale for his good sermone. Wyll. Goe thy way, father Grimme, gayly well you
doo say,
It is but young mens folly, that liste to playe,
can 2d*edit.
you
finde
any
fault here? ] what fault can
you
see heere 7
* Robin ruddockes, i. e. Robin red breasts. Shakspeare uses ruddock for red breast in Cymbeline. S. -
Again, Nash's Lenten Stuff, 1599: “ — he eft soons defined “unto me, that the red herring was this old tickle cob, or magister “factotum, that brought in the red ruddocks, and the grummel
“seed as thick as oatmeal, and made Yarmouth for Argent to put “down the city of Argentine. ”
"4 monsters] hose at, 2d edit. os Wyll Well, 1st edit.
-
234 DAMON AND PITHIAS,
And maske a whyle in the net of their owne devise; When they come to your age they wyll be wyse.
Grimme. Bum troth, but few such roysters come to my yeares at this day;
They be cut off betimes, or they have gone halfe their journey:
I wyll not tell why: let them gesse that can, I meane somewhat thereby.
Enter Jack E with a pot of wyne, and a cup to drinke on.
Grimme, you Jacke. Father - because
sturring
early,
I have bot you
are
to make
so
a bowle of
wyne
you mery.
Grimme. Wyne, mary this is welcome to colliers, chyl swapt off by and by:
Chwas sturringe so early that my very soule is drye.
Jacke. This is stoutly done: wyll you have it warmed, father Grimme 2 -
Grimme. No, it is warme enough ; it is very lousious and trimme.
'Tis musselden" ich weene; of fellowship let me have another spurt,
Ich can drink as easly now, as if I sate in my shurte.
Jacke. By cocke, and you shall have it; but I wyll beginne, and that anone,
Je bois a vous mon compagnon".
Grimme. J'ai vous pleigé, petit Zawneo.
Jacke. Can you speake French 2 here is a trimme
colier, by this day !
Grimme. What man lich learned this when ich was
a souldier;
* 'Tis musselden. ] An intended mistake for muscadine. S.
* Je bois a vous mon compagnon] Jebit avow mon companion. Both 4tos. S.
* J'ai vous pleigé petit Zawne] Ihar vow pleadge, pety Zawne.
Both 4tos.
I know not what is meant
by
Zawne.
Perhaps these lines are a translation of some song or catch, dia logue wise, between Robin Hood and Little John.
L. J.
1 drink to
you, my companion.
And I
R. H.
tion, as the reader pleases, of John. S.
pledged you,
&awne, must then be received as a mispronunciation or corrup
have
Little John.
-
DAM ON AND PIT HIAS. 235
When ich was a lusty fellow, and could yarke a whip trimly,
dailw: |. now,
That would toruppe men for every trifell, I wot not how : -
As there was one Damon, not longe since taken for a sple;
How justly I know not, but he was condemned to die. Wyll. This wine hath warmed him, this comes well
to passe,
We shall know now, for Vino veritas.
Father Grimme, who accused this Damon kinge Dionisius
Grimme. vengeaunce take him! 'twas gentleman, one maister Crowsphus.
Wyll. Crowsphus' you clippe the kinge's language, you would have said Carisophus;
But perceive now, either the winde the south,
Or els your tounge cleaveth the roofe your
Better then these boy coliers, that come to the courre
When
were" not so many captious fellowes as
mouth.
-
Grmme. murian take thik wine, intoxicate -
my braine,
That hanged and by, cannot speake plaine.
Jacke. You speake knavishly playne, seinge my mas
ter you doo mocke:
faith ere you go, will make you lobbe cocke.
Father Grimme, what say they this Damon abrode Grimme. All men are sorie for him, helpe me
God.
the king wrong fully -
The say false knave cused him
And he ńe. and should be here
morow
die,
Or els his fellow which prison his rowme shall supplie.
were] was, 2d edit.
°
2
all
is in
I of
in
to
to
a
is at
to
of
so
it so
a
to
2
In
I to
is a ;A
I
by
be
to
A
236 DAMON AND PITH I. A. S.
Chil not be his halfe for vortie shillinges I tell you
playne,
-
I thinke Damon be too wise to returne agayne. -
Wyll. Wyll no man speake for them in this wofull case ?
Grimme. No chill warrant you, one maister Stippus is in place,
Where he may doo good, but he frames himselfe so,
Whatsoever Dionisius wylleth, to that he wyll not say InO :
"Tis a subtill vox, he will not tread on thornes for none, A mery harecoppe” 'tis, and a pleasant companion;
A right courtier, and can provide for one.
Jacke. Wyll, howe lyke you this geare 2 your master- Aristippus also,
At this colier's hande hath had a bloe.
But in faith, father Grimme, cannot ye coliers Provide for your selves far better then courtiers?
Grimme. Yes, I trowe : blacke coliers go in threade bare cotes,
Yet so provide they, that they have the faire white groates.
Ich may say in counsell, though day moyle dourte,
Chil not change lives with any
For though their apparell never
Yet sure their credit farre worse then mine.
And cocke may say, for their hie lookes, knowe some stickes full deepe marchants bookes:
And deeper will fall in, fame me telles,
As long insteede money they take haukes hoods and belles 7":
harecoppel Coppe, Chaucer, used for the top and here seems intended signify the head, or,
any thing, the common
use among the names
phrase
Hare coppe, may corruption heark up, phrase
hare-brained fellow.
our ancient sportsmen. Hare cup the spring-flower called the hare bell.
likewise one
insteede money they take haukes hoods and belles] See Note 49 Tke White Devil, vol. VI.
Dionisius' courte: fine,
to 71
70
of
up
is of
as
be
be a
I
is S.
all in
in so
of
as in of
of
in
a
all I
is, a
by as
in to
of
is
up
I
DAMON AND PITHIAS, 237
Wherby they fall into a swelling disease, which coliers do not know ;
Tath a mad name it is called, ich weene, Centum pro cento.
Some other in courtes make others laugh merily,
When they wayle and lament their owne estate secretly. Friendship is dead in courte, hipocrisie doth raigne,
Who is in favour now, to morow is out agayne: The state is so uncertaine, that I, by my wyll,
Will never be courtier, but a colier styll.
Wyll. It seemeth that coliers have a very” trym life. Grimme. Coliers get money styll : tell me of trouth,
Is not that a trim life now, as the world goeth 7
All day though I toyle with mayne and might,
With mony in my pouche I come home mery at night, And downe, my chayre my wyfe faire Alison,
And tourne crabbe the fire, mery pope John
Jacke. That pope was merry fellow, whome folke talke so much.
Grimme. H'ad merry withal, h'ad goulde
enough
Jacke. Can gould make men mery they say, who can singe mery note,
his hutch.
change grote?
Grimme. Who singes that case, singes never
tune. know for my parte,
That heavy pouch with goulde makes light harte:
Of which have provided for deare yeare good store, And these benters”, trowe, shall anone get me more. Wyll. serving the courte with coles, you gaynde
As that not able
this money.
- Grimme. the court onely,
terwards.
---
assure yee.
Amid tourne crabbe the fire, mery Pope John] See Note
very] merie, 2nd edit.
22 to Gammer Gurton's Needle vol. II.
carry coals. See Cotgrave. He may, however mean debentures,
And these benters] Benne the French word for sack
notes which debt claimed. Jack mentions debentures af
S.
by ahe sit all I
to i.
e.
in
7*. 7* 72
By Iis
aaBy . a
is in is
I so to to
in a
a
as I a
a
by as
as
a
in a
in
in be
of
as
238 DAMON AND PITHIAS.
Jacke. After what sorte, I pray thee tell mee?
Grimme. Nay, ther bate an ace (quod Boulton can weare horne and blow not.
Jacke. Byr ladie, the wiser man.
Grimme. Shall money?
Then ich weare
tell you what slite noddy indeede; no, no,
tell you this one thinge,
got this warreant
wilie
e. Yet
words
He very foole that cannot gayne the kinge.
Wyll. Well sayde, father Grimme: you are colier, and brave,
see now there no knave like the olde knave.
Grimme. Suche knaves have mony, when courtiers have none.
But tell me, true that abrode blowne Jacke. What that?
Grimme, Hath the kinge made those fayre damsels his daughters.
To be come now fine and trimme barbers?
Jacke. Yea truly, his owne person.
Grimme.
Good fellowes beleve mee, the case now
standes,
would geve one sacke coles washt their handes,
ich came neare them, for my wyt chould not geve three chippes,
ich could not steale one swap their lippes.
Nay, ther bate (quoth, Boulton) Bate ace, quoth Bolton, among the Proverbs published Mr. Ray. That gen
tleman adds, “Who this Bolton was know not, neither worth “enquiring. One this name might happen say, Bate “ace, and, for the coincidence the first letters the two words “Bate and Bolton, grew proverb. We have many “like original as, v. g. Sup, Simon, &c. Stay, quoth Stringer, &c. “There goes story Queen Elizabeth, that being presented “with Collection English Proverbs, and told the Author “that contained all the English Proverbs, nay, replied she, Bate “me ace quoth Bolton which Proverb being instantly looked for, “happened wanting his Collection. ” Ray's Proverbs,
177.
p.
If If
is a
*
be so is
is in #:
in
be of a
of
I by
anita
to a;
ofitofan
isitis IaI a
a
; of ace to
to
of to by
me
an 2 I
of
the an
me
To) I
by at
be as
is to
by
II
to
it I
is
it at a
all
DAMON AND PITHIAS.
239
Jacke. Wyll, this knave is drunke, let us dresse him;
Let us riffell him so, that he have not one pennie to blesse him,
And steale away his debenters too.
Wyll. Content: invent the way, and I am readie.
Jacke. Faith, and I wyll make him a noddie.
Father Grimme, if you praie mee wel”, - I wyll wash
you and shave you too,
Even after the same fashion as the kinges daughters doo: In poyntes they handle Dionisius, wyll dresse
you trim and fine,
Grimme. Chuld vaine learne that: come on then,
chil geve thee whol pint wine
At taverne for thy labour, when cha mony for my ben ters heare.
Here WYLL fetcheth barber's bason, pot with water, raysour, and clothes, and payre spectacles.
Jacke. Come, mine owne father Grimme, sit downe.
Grimme. Masse, beginne withall, heare trimme chayre.
Jacke. What man, wyll use you like prince. — Sir boy, fetche me my geare.
Wyll. Here, syr.
Jacke. Holde up, father Grimme.
Grimme. Me seeme my head doth swimme.
Jacke. My costly perfumes make that. —Away with
this, boy: quicke.
Aloyse, aloyse", how pretie not here
face?
fine oules eyes, mouth lyke oven. Father, you have good butter teeth, full seene;
You weare weaned, els you would have ben calfe.
Ah trimme lippes sweepe manger! here As soft as the hoofe of an horse.
good
great chinne,
praieomee well the former Edition, Mr. Dodsley had altered this pay mee wel.
Aloyse, aloysel Aloue, Fr. allow, approve, praise.
know no other word that resembles that the text. Chaucer, praised.
Alosed,
of to is
a
all
to in
is! is
of
inI
77 7s
A
In S.
a
be
as a
to is
to I
a
to
a
an
to is aaaa
it
a
sir
ais
of a
I
240
DAMON AND PITHIAs.
,
Grimme. Doth the kinges daughters rubbe so harde? Jacke. Holde your head straite, man, els, wyll
marde. -
Byr ladie, you are good complexion,
right Croyden sanguine”, beshrew mee.
Hould up, father Grimme. —Wyll, can you besturreye?
Grimme. Me thinks, after do besmoure me.
Jacke. with unguentum very costly:
geue not this washinge ball
marvelous fashion you Daucus Maucus, that
every body.
After you have ben drest finely my hande, You may kisse any ladies lippes within this lande.
you are trimly washt! how say you, water?
not this trimm vengeaunce
Grimme.
may holsome, but SOWet.
Jacke. scours the better. —Syr boy, geve me raysour.
Wyll. Here hand, syr. Grimme. Gods aymes, ’tis
chopping knyfe,
raysour. very good one; Jacke. raysour, and that
came lately from Palermo", cost mee twenty crownes alone.
Your eyes dassell after your washing, these spectacles
put on raysour, tell mee,
not good one?
yet never see
Now vew this
Grimme. They better.
gay barnikels, -
Jacke. deede they the matter;
young sight, and that
From the manner which this expression used Sir John Harrington, The Anatomie Metamorphosis Ajar, Sig.
seems though was intended for sallow hue. “Both “complexion inclining the oriental colour Croyden sanguine. ”
came lately from Palermol The 4tos read Pallarrime. The razors Palermo were anciently famous. They are mentioned more than one our old Plays, and particularly The Wounds Civil
War Thomas Lodge, 1594, vol. VIII. 83. “Neighbour sharpen the edge tole your wits upon the whetsone indiscretion, that
“your wordes may shave like the rasers Palermo. ”
S.
by
all be
“ of*it* by It
It
A, It
I
A
of of
as
It is
is
It
it to
: a at
in
In
It
is
in be
be
of
of
the be
so
a a to
of
a
of a isita-
in it at
of I it is
ofaisa is of
of in
’tis
no my
of L.
a7. isthe
DAMON AND PITHIAS.
But I warrant you, this raysour is very easie.
241
Grimme. Go too then; since you begonne, doo as please ye.
Jacke. Holde up, father Grimme.
Grimme. O your raysour doth hurt my lippe.
Jacke. No, it scrapeth of a pimpell to ease you of the pippe.
I have done now, how say you? are you not well? Grimme. Cham lighter then ich was, the truth to tell.
- Grimme. Mas, content; but chill be polde first or I
Jacke. Will you singe aster your shavinge?
singe. -
Jacke. Nay that shall not neede, you are pould neare
enough for this time.
Grimme. Go too then lustyly, I will singe in my man's voyce:
Chave a troublinge base busse.
Jacke. You are lyke to beare the bobbe, wyll geve
Set out your bussyng base, and wee wyll quiddell upon
GRIMME singeth Busse. Jacke singes. Too nidden, and too nidden.
-
Wyll singes. Too nidden, and toodle midden;
toodle doo
not Grimme the colier most finely shaven?
Grimme. Why, my fellowes, thinke iche am cowe,
that you make such toying
Jacke. Nay by’r ladie, you are cow, your
singing;
Yet your wife told me you were oxe.
Grimme. Did she so? 'tis pestens quene”, she full of such mockes.
But go let singe out our songe merely.
The songe the shaving
the colier.
Jacke. Suche barbers, God send you all times neede.
Wyll. That can dress eyou finely, and make such quicke
speede.
- VoI. I. pestens quenel He means pestilent quean.
7°
aa of
an
no
:
at R, S.
a is
for we
of
us at
it. it:
to,
by
. Is
242 DAMON AND PITHIAS,
Jacke. Your face like an incorne now shineth so gay—
Wyll. That I with your nostrels of force must needes play,
With too midden, and too midden. .
Jacke. With too midden, and todle todle doo nidden.
Is not Grimme the colier most finely shaven 2
Wyll. With shaving you shine lyke a pestle of
porke”.
Jacke. Here is the trimmest hogges-flesh from London to Yorke.
Wyll. It would be trimme baken to hange up a while,
Jacke. To play with this hogline, of force I smyle,
With too midden, and too midden.
Wyll. With too nidden, and todle, &c. I
must
your
Wyll. Your wife now will busse you, because you are sweater.
Grimme. Neare would I be poled, as neere as cham shaven.
Wyll. Then out of your jerkin needes must you be shaken.
With too nidden, nnd too nidden, &c.
Grimme. It is a trimme thing to be washt in courte.
Wyll. Their handes are fine, that they never hurte.
Grimme. Methinke ich am lighter then ever ich was. Wyll. Our shaveinge the courte hath brought this
to passe.
With too nidden, and too midden.
Jacke With too midden, and todle todle doo nidden.
not Grimme the colier most finely" shaven [Finis.
Grimme. This trimly done: now chil pitche coles not farre hence,
And then the taverne chil bestowe whole tway pence.
Grimme. Your shaving doth please me, debter.
am now
pestle porkel gammon *finely] trimly, 2d edit.
bacon. Minshieu.
* a
at of
i. e.
in
so
of
is
my
doo the
Is
2
DAMON AND PIT. H. I. A. S.
243
Jacke. Farewel cocke. Before the colier againe doo us seeke,
Let us into the courte to parte the spoyle, share and share like.
Wyll. Away then.
Here entreth GRIMM E.
[Ereunt.
Grimme. Out alas, where shall I make my mone? My pouche, my benters, and gone!
Wher that villayne that dyd me shave Hath robbed me, alas all that have.
Here entreth SNAP.
Snap. Who crieth the courte gate? Grimme.