No More Learning

Carisophus. Jacke, give me my sword and targat.
Jacke. I cannot com to you, maister, this knave doth me let. —Hold, maister.
Stephano. Away, Jackenapes, els I wyll colpheg you 49 by and by:
Ye slave, I wyll have my penyworthes of thee therefore if I die.
Aboute, villayne.
Carisophus. O, citezens, helpe to defend me.
Stephano. Nay, they wyll rather helpe to hange thee. Carisophus. Good felow, let us reason of the matter
quietly: beat me no more.
Stephano. Of this condition I wyll stay, if thou swere
as thou art an honest man,
Thou wylt say nothyng to the kinge of this when I am gonne.
Carisophus. I wyll say nothyng, here is my hand, as I am an honest man.
Stephano. Then say on thy minde: I have taken a wise othe on him, have I not trow ye?
To trust such a false knave upon his honestie 2
As he is an honest man (quoth you? ) he may bewray
the kinge, whit—But, my
And breke his oth for this never fra
nion”, tell you this one thing:
you disclose this, wyll devise such way,
That whilst thou livest thou shalt remember this day.
Carisophus. You neede not devise for that, for this day printed my memory,
warrant you, shall remember this beating till die:
colpheg you] believe we should read, colaphire, i. e. box buffet. Colaphiser Fr. See Cotgrave's Dict.
A
But my franion] i. e. loose companion. Spenser: Might not found ranker franion.
'A faire framion Again, The First Part “a franke franion, merrie
for such pheere.
King Edward IV. Sign.
companion, and loves wench
“Hees well. ”
fit of
S. a
a So a
C. 5:
I or
a a
50
I 49
If
all
in
IIis I
to
a
be
I in
224 -DAMON AND DITH IAS.
But seeing of courtesie you have granted that we should talke quietly,
Methinkes, in calling mee knave, you doome muche injurie.
Stephano. Why so, I pray thee hartely?
Carisophus. Because I am the kinges man: keepes
the kinge any knaves?
Stephano. He should not; but what he doth, it is
evident by thee,
And as farre as I can learne or understand,
There is none better able to keepe knaves in land.
Carisophus. Oh, sir, shall heare tell,
am courtier: when courtiers
How you have used me, they will not take well.
Stephano. Nay, right courtiers will kenne
thanke"; and wot you why? Because handled counterfait courtier
his kinde counterfait
trope honest men, some knaves may stand, know,
Such stelth creep under the colour Which sorte under that cloke doo all kinde
right courtier vertuous, gentill, and full
Hurting man, good all, devoid villanie. :
But suche thou art, fountaines squirilitie, and
vayne delightes;
Though you hange the courtes, you are but flatring
parasites;
well deserving the right name courtesie,
the coward knight the true praise chevalrie. could say more, but wyll not, for that am your
well willer.
faith, Carisophus, you are courtier, but cater
piller,
kenne thanke] See Note Gammer Gurton's Needle, vol. II.
What, syr
finelv.
on show;
are not courtiers that have
honestie, villanie: urbanitie,
1
as
is
st
InIAsAs AIn a
me
as no by
I of
I 34
by
a all
I a
to
no
of
of
of of
I of a
a of
in
it
-
all
to in
of
ye some the
DAMON AND PITHIAs. " 225
A sicophant, a parasite, a flatterer, and a knave.
Whether. I wyll or no, these names you must have: How well you deserve this, by your deedes it is knowne,
For that so unjustly thou hast accused poore Damon, Whose wofull case the gods helpe alone.
Carisophus. Syr, are you his servaunt, that you pitie his case so?
Stephano. No bum troth, good man Grumbe, his name is Stephano:
I am called Onaphets, if needs you wyll know.
The knave beginneth to sift mee, but I turne my name in and out,
Cretiso cum Cretense *, to make him a loute. Carisophus. What mumble you with your selfe, mas
ter Onaphets?
Stephano. I am reckening with my selfe how I may
pay my debtes.
Carisophus. You have paide me more then you did OWe me. -
Stephano. Nay, upon a farther reckoning, I wyll pay you more, if I know
Either you talke of that is done, or by your sicophan ticall envye,
You pricke forth Dionisius the sooner, that Damon may die :
I wyll so pay thee, that thy bones shall rattell in thy skinne.
Remember what I have sayde; Onaphets is my name.
[Erit. Carisophus. The sturdie knave is gone: the devyll
him take,
-
He hath made my head, shoulders, armes, sides, and all to ake.
Thou horson villaine boy, why didst thou waite no better ?
As he payde mee, so wyll I not die thy debter.
*Cretiso cum Cretense]. Read Kpoléo. Wide Erasm. Chiliad.
The Cretans were famous for double-dealing. Cretizare, however, is
a word employ'd by lexicographers, instead of mentiri. S.
Q
Wol, I,
226 DAMON AND PITH IAS.
Jacke. Mayster, why doo you fight with me? I am
your match, you - see :
not
Your durst not fight with him that is gone, and wyll
you wreke your anger on mee?
Carisophus. Thou villaine, by thee I have lost mine
honour,
Beaten with a codgell like a slave, a vacaboun, or a lasie lubber,
And not geven one blow agayne. Hast thou handled me well ?
Jacke. Maister I handled you not, but who did handle you very handsomly you can tell.
Carisophus. Handsomly thou crake rope. *
Jacke. Yea, sir, very handsomily: I hold you a grote, He handled you so handsomly, that he left not one
mote in your cote.
Carisophus. O I had firckt him trimly, thou villaine,
if thou hadst geven mee Jacke. It is better as it
worde.
had seene your weapon,
my sword.
maister, beleve me
would have ben fierser, And perhaps beate you worse, speake with
harte,
You were never the dealing fence blowes, but you had foure away for your part.
but your lucke, you are man good enough;
But the wealche Onaphets was vengeance knave, and
rough.
Maister, you were best goe home and rest your bedde,
Meethinkes your cappe waxeth little for your heade.
Carisophus. What! doth my head swell?
Crack-rope was common term contempt old plays. “You codshed, you cracke-rope, you chattering pye. ”
Apius and Virginia, 1575. Sign. Again that very rare play, The Two Italian Gentlemen:
“Then him led through every streete the town, “That every crackrope may fling rotten egs the clown. ”
in
so
let
a
at
be
in at in
it
my a
B.
at
*
It is
If he
of
is, I
to
in
a of
he
DAMON AND PITHIAS. 227
Jacke. Yea, as bigge as a codshed, and bleades too.
Carisophus. I am ashamed to show my face with this hew.
Jacke. No shame at all; men have bin beaten farre
better then you.
Carisophus. Imuste go to the chirurgian's; what
shal I say when I am a dressyng?
Jacke. You may say truly you met with a knave's
blessing. -
Here entreth ARISTIPPUs.
[Ereunt.
Aristippus. By mine owne experience I prove true that many men tell,
To live in courte not beloved, better be in hell:
What criyng out, what cursyng is there within of Cari sophus,
Because he accused Damon to kinge Dionisius:
Even now he came whining and crying into the courte
for the nonce,
Shewinge that one Onaphets had broke his knave's SCOnce.
Which straunge name when they heard every man laught hartely,
And I by myselfe scan’d his name secretly;
For well I knewe it was some mad-heded chylde
That invented this name, that the log headed knave
might be begilde.
In tossing it often with myselfe two and fro,
I found out that Onaphets backward, spelled Stephano.
I smiled in my sleve, how to see by tournyng his name he drest him,
And how for Damon his master's sake, with a wodden cougell he blest him. -
None pittied the knave, no man nor woman, but al laught him to scorne.
To be thus hated of all, better unborne :
Farre better Aristippus hath provided, I trowe;
For in all the courte I am beloved both of hie and lowe.
I offende none, in so muche that wenen singe this to
my great prayse,
-
Omnis Aristippum decuit color, et locus et res. 4. t
228 DAM ON AND PITIIIAS.
But in this joylytie one thinge maseth me,
The straungest thinge that ever was harde knowne,
now happened this court, that Damon
Whom Carisophus accused; Damon now libertie,
For whose return Pithias his friend lieth
prison, alas,
great jeopardy.
-
To-morow the day, which day noone Damon returne not, ernestl
The kinge hath sworne that Pithias should die; Wherof Pithias hath intelligence very secretly,
Wishing that Damon may not returnetyll have payde
His lyfe for his friend. Hath ben heare fore ever sayde,
That any man for his friend would die willyngly. ” noble friendship perfect amitiel
Thy force heare seene, and that very perfectlie.
The king himselfe museth heare yet farre out square
That he trusteth none come nere him, not his owne doughters will have
Unsercht enter his chamber, which he hath made
shave,
Not with knife rasour, for all edge-tooles hee feares,
barbars his beard
But with hote burning nutshales they senge
heares.
---
Was there ever man that lived such miserye
Well, wyll with heavye and pensive hart too, To think how Pithias, this poore gentleman, to-morow
shall die.
Here entreth Jack and WYLL.
[Erit.
Jacke. Wyll, mine honesty, wyll marre your moncke's face, you fondly prate.
Wyll. Jacke, my troth, seeing you are without
the courte gate, you play Jacke napes, dispising my face,
mocking my master, and
wyll you disgrace;
suppose means say pan begins his attack with kick.
Even here with
pantacle”
Even here with pantacle] tofte, i. e. slipper. Perhaps
The 2d edition reads,
*
If -
O,
Is
*
a of
in is
all
aa
by
in. or by
!
in
if
heI to
O he to
he
I in so E
*. in
at,
it
by
by is
to a.
2
of
a S.
his
I
.
I
to
go
.
a
is
so
he to ifat
is
he
in
or
DAMON AND Pi'IHIAS. 229
And though you have a farre better face then I,
Yet who is better man of us two these fistes shall trie, Unlesse you leave your taunting.
Jacke. Thou began'st first; didst thou not say even nowe,
That Carisophus, my master, was no man but a cowe, In takinge so many blowes, and geve “never a blow
agayn?
Wyll. I sayde so in deede, he is but a tame ruffian,
That can swere by his flaske and twiche-box *, and God's precious lady,
And yet will be beaten with a faggot-stick. These barking whelpes were never good biters,
Ne yet great crakers were ever great fighters:
But seeinge you eg mee so much, I wyll somewhat
more resight;
I say, Carisophus thy master is a flattring parisite;
Glening away the sweet from the worthy in al the COurte.
What tragidie hath he moved of late? the devell take him, he doth much hurt.
Jacke. I pray you, what is Aristippus thy master, is not he a parisite to,
That with scoffing and jesting in the court makes so much a doo?
Wyll. He is no parisite, but a pleasant gentleman full of curtesie.
Thy master is a churlish loute, the heyre of a doung fork; as voyde of honestie
As thou, art of honour.
“Even heere with a faire pantacle I will you disgrace. ”
an epithet not found in the oldest copy, and hardly consistent with
the supposition that pantacle means pantofle, C.
at which the match was lighted, was part of the accoutrement of a
-
** geve] gave, 1st edit. '
* his flaske and twiche-bor] More properly touch-bor. While match-locks, instead of fire-locks, to guns were used; the touch-bor,
soldier.
“When she his flask aInd touch-box set on fire. ”
line of an Author, whose name
cannot at this time recollect. S.
230 DAMON AND PIT HIAS.
Jacke. Nay, yf you wyll needes be prating of my master styll,
In faith I must coole you my frinde, dapper Wyll:
Take this at the beginning.
Wyll. Prayse well your winning, my pantacle is as
readie as yours.
Jacke. By the masse I wyll boxe you. Wyll. By cocke, I wyll foxe you.
Jacke. Wyll, was I with you? Wyll. Jacke, did I flye?
Jacke. Alas, pretie cockerell, you are to weake; Wyll. In faith, dutting Duttrell”, you wyll crye
creake.
Here entreth SNAP.
Snap.
Away, you cracke ropes, are you fighting at
the courte-gate?
And I take you heare agayne, I will swindge you both:
what!
[Exit.
Jacke. I beshrew Snap the tipstaffe, that great knaves hart, that hether did come,
ben, you cryed this, Victus, victa, Had he not had - ere
But seing wee have breathed ourselves, if ye list,
Let us agree like friends, and shake eche other by the fist. ’
Wyll. Content am I, for I am not malicious; but on this condition,
That you talke no more so brode of my master as here
victum :
you have done.
But who have wee heere ? is Cober epi * comming
yonder ?
Jacke. Wyll, slipp aside and vewe him well.
Duttrell] Dottrel silly kind bird which imitates the actions the fowler, till last taken. So, Butler's Cha
racter Fantastic. Remains, vol. 132. “He alters his “gate with the times, and has not motion his body that (like “Dottrel) does not borrow from somebody else. ”
See also Note The Old Couple, vol. X,
Cober epi. ] These suppose words corrupted the
ignorance
the transcriber.
-
-
of
of of a
. . . "*
I
let
he
A to
8
at is S.
to be
a
he is
by
a
II. p.
of of
in
us a
-
stur, I say?
JDAM ON AND PITH IAS.
231
Grimme. What devell! iche weene the porters are drunke, wil they not dup the gate to-day ?
Take in coles for the king's owne mouth: wyll no body
Ich might have layne tway howers longer in my bedde,
Cha taried so longe here, that my teeth chatter in my
heade,
Jacke. Wyll, after our fallinge out wilt thou laugh merily 2
Wyll. I mary, Jacke, I pray thee hartely.
Jacke. Then folow me, and hemme in a worde now and then.
What braulynge knave is there at the courte-gate so early 2
Wyll. It is some brainesicke villaine, I durst lay a pennie.
Jacke, Was it you”, sir, that cryed so lowde I trow,
And bid us take in coles for the kinges mouth even now Ż
Grimme. 'Twas I, indeede.
Jacke. Why, sir, how dare you speake such petie treason 7
Doth the king eate coles at any season ?
Grimme. Heere is a gaye world ! boyes now settes olde men to scoole.
I sayde wel enough: what, Jack sawce, thinkst cham a foole 2
At bakehouse, buttrie hatch, kitchen, and seller,
Doo” they not say for the kinges mouth 2 Wyll. What then, goodman coliar?
Grimme. What then I seing without coles thei cannot finely dresse the kinges meat,
May I not say take in coles for the kinges mouth,
though coles he do not eate?
Jacke. James | Christe I came ever from a colier an
Here entreth GRIMM E the Colier, whistling.
*
aunswer so trimme 2
Yo*u are learned, are you not, father Grimme?
you] you,
Was it It was 1st edit. -
*9 Dool Doth, 2d edit.
-
Wyll. So it seemes, you have so much mother wit, that you lacke your father's wisdome.
Grimme. Masse, chain well beset, here's a trimme cast of Murlons",
What be you, my pretie cockerels, that aske me these questions?
Jacke. Good faith, maister Grimme", if such Mar lines on your pouch may light,
Thei are so quick of winge, that quickly they can carie it out of your sight;
And though we are cockerels now, we shall have spurs one day,
And shall be able perhaps to make you a capon :
But to tell you the trouth, we are the porter's men,
which early and late
Wayte on such gentlemen as you, to open the court gate.
-
Grimme. Pretie men (quoth you)? nay, you are
stronge men, els you coulde not beare these britches.
Wyll. Are these such * great hose ? in faith, good man colier, you see with your nose:
° a trimme cast of Murlons, i. e. a cast of that species of hawks that were called Merlins. S.
He calls them Murlons on account of their size. Merlins were
the smallest species of hawks. Turberville says, “These merlyns “are very much like the haggart falcon in plume, in seare of the “foote, in beake and talons. So as there seemeth to be no oddes
232 DAMON AND PITHIAS.
Grimme. Grimme is my name indeed, cham not
learned, and yet the king's colier:
-
This vortie winter cha bin to the king a serviter, Though I be not learned, yet cha mother witte enough
whole and some.
Grimme. Are ye servants then?
Wyll. Yea, sir; are we not pretie men 7
“ or difference at al betwixt them save only in the bignesse, she hath like demeanure, like plume, and very like conditions
“falcon, and hir kind like courage, and therefore must kept choycely and daintily the falcon. ” The merlin was Chiefly used small birds; and Latham says, was particu
larly appropriated
the service ladies. "maister Grimme] father Grimme, edit.
“Such,” adopted into the original text from the edit. C.
w
as is of
3.
it
““ *
2d
to fly
in to at
of
as
as
to for be the
DAMON AND PIT HIAS, 233
By myme honestie, I have but one lining in one hose, but seven els of roug.
Grimmer. This is but a little, yet it makes thee seeme a great bugge.
Jacke. How say you, goodman colier, can you finde any fault here **
Grimme. Nay, you should finde faught, mary here's trim geare :
Alas, little knave, dost not sweat? thou goest with great payne,
These are no hose, but water bougets, I tell thee playne;
Good for none but suche as have no buttockes.
Dyd you ever see two suche little Robin ruddockes"
So laden with breeches : chill say no more leste I offende.
Who invented these monsters “first, did it to a gostly ende,
To have a male readie to put in other folkes stuffe,
Wee see this evident by dayly prooffe.
One preached of late not farre hence, in no pulpet, but in a wayne carte,
That spake enough of this; but for my parte,
Chil say no more: your owne necessitie
In the end wyll force you to finde some remedy.
Jacke. Wyl", holde this railinge knave with a talke when I am gone :
I wyll fetch him his filling ale for his good sermone. Wyll. Goe thy way, father Grimme, gayly well you
doo say,
It is but young mens folly, that liste to playe,
can 2d*edit.
you
finde
any
fault here? ] what fault can
you
see heere 7
* Robin ruddockes, i. e. Robin red breasts. Shakspeare uses ruddock for red breast in Cymbeline. S. -
Again, Nash's Lenten Stuff, 1599: “ — he eft soons defined “unto me, that the red herring was this old tickle cob, or magister “factotum, that brought in the red ruddocks, and the grummel
“seed as thick as oatmeal, and made Yarmouth for Argent to put “down the city of Argentine. ”
"4 monsters] hose at, 2d edit. os Wyll Well, 1st edit.
-
234 DAMON AND PITHIAS,
And maske a whyle in the net of their owne devise; When they come to your age they wyll be wyse.
Grimme. Bum troth, but few such roysters come to my yeares at this day;
They be cut off betimes, or they have gone halfe their journey:
I wyll not tell why: let them gesse that can, I meane somewhat thereby.
Enter Jack E with a pot of wyne, and a cup to drinke on.
Grimme, you Jacke. Father - because
sturring
early,
I have bot you
are
to make
so
a bowle of
wyne
you mery.
Grimme. Wyne, mary this is welcome to colliers, chyl swapt off by and by:
Chwas sturringe so early that my very soule is drye.
Jacke. This is stoutly done: wyll you have it warmed, father Grimme 2 -
Grimme. No, it is warme enough ; it is very lousious and trimme.
'Tis musselden" ich weene; of fellowship let me have another spurt,
Ich can drink as easly now, as if I sate in my shurte.
Jacke. By cocke, and you shall have it; but I wyll beginne, and that anone,
Je bois a vous mon compagnon".
Grimme. J'ai vous pleigé, petit Zawneo.
Jacke. Can you speake French 2 here is a trimme
colier, by this day !
Grimme. What man lich learned this when ich was
a souldier;
* 'Tis musselden. ] An intended mistake for muscadine. S.
* Je bois a vous mon compagnon] Jebit avow mon companion. Both 4tos. S.
* J'ai vous pleigé petit Zawne] Ihar vow pleadge, pety Zawne.
Both 4tos.
I know not what is meant
by
Zawne.
Perhaps these lines are a translation of some song or catch, dia logue wise, between Robin Hood and Little John.
L. J.
1 drink to
you, my companion.
And I
R. H.
tion, as the reader pleases, of John. S.
pledged you,
&awne, must then be received as a mispronunciation or corrup
have
Little John.
-
DAM ON AND PIT HIAS. 235
When ich was a lusty fellow, and could yarke a whip trimly,
dailw: |. now,
That would toruppe men for every trifell, I wot not how : -
As there was one Damon, not longe since taken for a sple;
How justly I know not, but he was condemned to die. Wyll. This wine hath warmed him, this comes well
to passe,
We shall know now, for Vino veritas.
Father Grimme, who accused this Damon kinge Dionisius
Grimme. vengeaunce take him! 'twas gentleman, one maister Crowsphus.
Wyll. Crowsphus' you clippe the kinge's language, you would have said Carisophus;
But perceive now, either the winde the south,
Or els your tounge cleaveth the roofe your
Better then these boy coliers, that come to the courre
When
were" not so many captious fellowes as
mouth.
-
Grmme. murian take thik wine, intoxicate -
my braine,
That hanged and by, cannot speake plaine.
Jacke. You speake knavishly playne, seinge my mas
ter you doo mocke:
faith ere you go, will make you lobbe cocke.
Father Grimme, what say they this Damon abrode Grimme. All men are sorie for him, helpe me
God.
the king wrong fully -
The say false knave cused him
And he ńe. and should be here
morow
die,
Or els his fellow which prison his rowme shall supplie.
were] was, 2d edit.
°
2
all
is in
I of
in
to
to
a
is at
to
of
so
it so
a
to
2
In
I to
is a ;A
I
by
be
to
A
236 DAMON AND PITH I. A. S.
Chil not be his halfe for vortie shillinges I tell you
playne,
-
I thinke Damon be too wise to returne agayne. -
Wyll. Wyll no man speake for them in this wofull case ?
Grimme. No chill warrant you, one maister Stippus is in place,
Where he may doo good, but he frames himselfe so,
Whatsoever Dionisius wylleth, to that he wyll not say InO :
"Tis a subtill vox, he will not tread on thornes for none, A mery harecoppe” 'tis, and a pleasant companion;
A right courtier, and can provide for one.
Jacke. Wyll, howe lyke you this geare 2 your master- Aristippus also,
At this colier's hande hath had a bloe.
But in faith, father Grimme, cannot ye coliers Provide for your selves far better then courtiers?
Grimme. Yes, I trowe : blacke coliers go in threade bare cotes,
Yet so provide they, that they have the faire white groates.
Ich may say in counsell, though day moyle dourte,
Chil not change lives with any
For though their apparell never
Yet sure their credit farre worse then mine.
And cocke may say, for their hie lookes, knowe some stickes full deepe marchants bookes:
And deeper will fall in, fame me telles,
As long insteede money they take haukes hoods and belles 7":
harecoppel Coppe, Chaucer, used for the top and here seems intended signify the head, or,
any thing, the common
use among the names
phrase
Hare coppe, may corruption heark up, phrase
hare-brained fellow.
our ancient sportsmen. Hare cup the spring-flower called the hare bell.
likewise one
insteede money they take haukes hoods and belles] See Note 49 Tke White Devil, vol. VI.
Dionisius' courte: fine,
to 71
70
of
up
is of
as
be
be a
I
is S.
all in
in so
of
as in of
of
in
a
all I
is, a
by as
in to
of
is
up
I
DAMON AND PITHIAS, 237
Wherby they fall into a swelling disease, which coliers do not know ;
Tath a mad name it is called, ich weene, Centum pro cento.
Some other in courtes make others laugh merily,
When they wayle and lament their owne estate secretly. Friendship is dead in courte, hipocrisie doth raigne,
Who is in favour now, to morow is out agayne: The state is so uncertaine, that I, by my wyll,
Will never be courtier, but a colier styll.
Wyll. It seemeth that coliers have a very” trym life. Grimme. Coliers get money styll : tell me of trouth,
Is not that a trim life now, as the world goeth 7
All day though I toyle with mayne and might,
With mony in my pouche I come home mery at night, And downe, my chayre my wyfe faire Alison,
And tourne crabbe the fire, mery pope John
Jacke. That pope was merry fellow, whome folke talke so much.
Grimme. H'ad merry withal, h'ad goulde
enough
Jacke. Can gould make men mery they say, who can singe mery note,
his hutch.
change grote?
Grimme. Who singes that case, singes never
tune. know for my parte,
That heavy pouch with goulde makes light harte:
Of which have provided for deare yeare good store, And these benters”, trowe, shall anone get me more. Wyll. serving the courte with coles, you gaynde
As that not able
this money.
- Grimme. the court onely,
terwards.