And it is told in the account of his death, that he did then
recommend
that book particu larly to his children, as a preservative against popery.
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
Else you'll be a high-flier, a violent, furious, What d'ye call it , ■
come be patient.
O. Why d'ye think any ill words wou'd disturb me ?
I car'nt a farthing what he had call'd me ; if he had call'd me as many knaves and buzzards as Icall'd him. But the dog has pronsd 'it, man.
Vol. I. B C. That
2 The OBSERVATOR.
C. That indeed wou'd vex any body. Yet I wou'd
advise you to keep your temper; and not yelp so very loud, for in our country, when we throw a fione at a dog, and heyewls and hites we are sure has hit him. But proving be his way, cannot you prove as well as he?
O. Prove! yes can, and have done it. set down his very words, deny who can. In my Observator, Vol. N. 32. quote him faying thus, The root and
foundation all our republican schemes and pretences far re bellion, this suppos'd radical power in the people, as
erecting government at the beginning to overturn and change at their pleasure .
C. And what fay you to that
O. told you then. Must repeat my own words too faid thus to you, Don't you know the meaning raillery and scolding the Scots priest, man, has taken his degree at Billingscate, andean scold with any fish- woman 'em all.
C. O now remember. And that this was all yon
faid to
there once,
understand,
in with his cramp of repp, rapp, (what d'ye call pub lican. have heard of these publicans. They were tantivy-men, and higb-siyers, like Kirah, Dathan, and Ahiram. And these schemes, what country-men were they Some high-landers, I'll warrant you, and so high-bred, high fed, and high-church-men, as you delicately prove
in the fame Observator. And there another bard word in what you quoted out of Cassandra, that prin
ciples.
believe was he out scolded an oister-woman using ugly hard words to her, she did not
and so could not answer. And now he comes
some outlandish word. never heard master Observator, from you, or any of our club.
parlus thing, no doubt, that will break folksshins some times. smells of monarchy and flavery. And there
some mischief in the gizard of that radical, what something made of radishes that will hite ones tongue!
and not that scolding and persect Billingsgate out up on him for rogue Master Observator, you cou'd not have
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The OBSE RVATOR.
3
have picks out such another sentence in all the book for
raillery, as you call it. No doubt you wou'd choose what is most sit for your purpose.
0. Let me alone for that. But by radical, man, he means the root and beginning of what he calls political go vernment, that is, of nations urftler kings. And the sirst
di-viston of the world into nations he makes that menti oned, Gen. x. and fays, that God set a ruler over every one of these nations, all of whose names are there set down. But I think I am even with him for that. For
in the fame Observator I ask him this question, and put it in brave italick and capital letters, that it may be the more taken notice of, as that which will choak the whole kennel of the tant'wyrdogs, and they will never be able to answer. My question is this, Whose successor the FIRST king was, and whether he came to the throne by right of
INHERITANCE?
C. Is not that, master Observator, who was before the
firsts as if Ishou'd alk, who was An au's father? whose successor he was ? and whether he came in by right of
I'll
O. No. He fays there was paternal or patriarchal go vernment over families, some of which might be very great. As Abraham's family was, with which he cou'd tight kings. And such we may suppose the families to be of those call'd mighty men, and men. of renown before
theflood. But he fays, there was no such thing as nati ons which are compos'd of manyfamilies, and a political,
not a natural or paternal government over these nations, before that divistom we are told of Gen. x. And that this
was by institution, not by inheritance, more than the se veral languages were. And that God set a ruler over
every one of these nations at the sirst. Whose right of government did descend by inheritance afterwards. Which
was the way of the whole earth. That these nations did
divide, and go to the several countries allotted to them,
inheritance ? O, my dear Observator, thou hast hit it !
give thee a whole pail full of double october for this. But do's he fay, that there was no government in the world before this diviston of nations f
Bz
each
4 The OBSERVATOR. Ian
each nation under the ruler nam'd Gen. x. to which
swer smartly. Did they there find a person that claim"A a regal authority ever them, come from they knev? not whence, andsent by they knew not vohom ? Then Cassandra tells us, that the government was at sirst wholly dejjiotick in the king. That laws came in afterwards, by degrees, and in process of time, as limitations of concession granted by the king ; but not as any coercion upon him. To which I fay again, as shrewdly, When the people tvere divided into nations, andsettled in countries, did they there
find a scheme of government , and a statute book of latvs placed ready for them by an unknown hand? — this thing is
so very obvious, that the meanest capacity might at the firfi thought determine the point.
C. I vow, Mr. Observator, it is very obvious ! and I observe that thefirst fight is always best with those that shoot flying. I hate poreing and thinking, except when I
am top-heavy with october, seeing you to bed.
O. I'm -very sensible of all your favors, honest country
man. But what think you of the smite I gave the Scots-
pedling-priest in mine of July 8 .
. where I tell him,
N. I
he'll look just like the skeleton of the bishop of St. An
drew's ? rib, I C. It was under the fifth
prosess. There's a $kts example for him. We cut that bishop to pieces in
the high-way, without giving him leave to fay his pray ers, and stir'd his brains about with our swords. We have not had so sweet a bit (except the calves-head) since we cut the throat of his sellow primate of England, up on Tower-hill, that Laud whom you have pepper d. And it is not sit their ashes shou'd rest, lest they breed cocka
And that no- He sacrifice our dear brethrin in Scotland offer'd of the primate of St. Andrews ought to be remembered, as
well as what we did to the primate of Canterbury.
O. You see, counny men, I will not let it be forgotten,
CMy
trices of episcopal-jure-divino high-fiyers.
! it was a glorious day ! and lets these opposers of mo deration see, that if we cannot reach them one way, we
O
will another.
them answer
she OBSERVATOR.
5
C. 'My blessing upon thee, dear Ohsr^ator. Our cause. Would sink but for thy four quarters. But Cajsandra
appeals to the trial of that Laud (printed in the late im mortal reign, and licensed Jo. Cant. ) as a full answer to all you fay against him. And you have not so much as taken any notice of or mentionedit.
to it. And
O. If
big. fb/zo, wrose
July 26. that sets us men of quality above answering eve ry spiteful writer.
C. O, Sir, cry you mercy must now keep my di stance! pray, Sir, are you knighted and what post are you knight of you fay publick-posl. We have
none in our country but the whipping-post, or p—— ng
post. That fame Saturday morning faw your worship's piclure cry'd about the streets in another post, one of your
city posts, call'd pillory. suppose very honour able post, because stands so high, and there are guards about as you were a prince, and many of atten
dants. did believe that my queen wou'd at last see yo'. r merits and what service you have done her, and that she wou'd advance you in due time.
O. Sirrah, wou'd correct your insolence, but that
proceeds from your ignorance. The pillory disho nourable post, only for rogues and var/ets. And was
my enemies pufout that picture, some of the monarchy- men and high-flyers, to disgrace me. Because was once
upon time ordered to be whipp'd, for serving my coun
do you think
fay something
mention it, must
reasonable for me to read over
hugeous that reverend father in Satan let
that like it. like none on't. Especi ally does not become me now to answer books, who am put into a publics fost, as told you last Saturday,
try, as do now.
C. My oaken-towel shall be about their hones
— how came they to publish thiir, mean your scandalous
picture, on the very fame morning that your Obscrvator came out, telling of your publick-post that you were put in have they stolen a sight of your copy before was printed? so, you must change your printer or hook-
fitter.
But
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6 The OBSERV ATOR.
sdler.
w! ts jump?
Or was as we fay in our country, that good
O. Come leave off your fooling. But have not done that Laud's business for him, without answering his hook, in what told you on Wednesday, July iq, from bp. Hall?
C. They fay, that was wrote by Hall when Laud was young man at the univerfity. And that his opposing
some of the calvinistical opinions, then mightily in vogue, gave suspicion ofpopery against him. They fay, master, that these folks deny free-will. And that there was time when would have been thought popery to fay, that could choose to drink dish of october, or to let alone, when thought had my load. And bp. Hall does not call him papish, only bids him explain himself. And you have not told upon what pints he would have had him explain himself, that we might
know whether they were popery now.
O. Come, come, sind you keep ill company. These
rogues will debauch you, you converse with them. They
have soir. ething to fay to every thing. But what do they fey to what fay, that Laud did write a bock against
Fisher, not out his onxrn inclination, but
the king
direction
C. They/Sy, that you fay so. And that your/yi ought not to be taken without proof. They fay, that might be both out of his own inclination, and by direction of the king. That had not been out of his own in clination had never been so exceedingly well done. As we fay, must be an ugly child that got against the
father's will.
O. But do not tell them, that even in this book against
Fisher, he arms the protestant body very weakly, as
be destgned to submit to a conquest.
C. But they will not believe you, nor any body else
that ever read it. They bid you give an instance. They fay, this mere lying and stexndering, when you have nothing else to fay. That like you and the rest of your party, the vibigs and dissenters; all of whose
writings
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The OBSE RVATOR.
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*voritings put together, since they sirst appeared in the world, have not so much solid argument against popery as what is contained in that one book of Laud against
Ti/ker, justly celebrated all over the learned world. They
fay the dissenters write against popery, as you do against
Cassandra, by calling the pope a whore, and such like
names of brazen-front, impudence, &c. But that they still retain the very Jesuitical mischievous points of the depofing- doctrinc, the dispenfing with oaths, lying for God,
taking arms and rebelling for religion. From them they learned trie arguments they use against the divine right of
episcopacy, and of kings. And that it was their emissa ries, as Heath, Cuming, &c. who in the reign of E/ix.
began the fect of the puritans, and set up the extempore nvay against liturgies, and the pretendtd impulses of the spirit against outward ordination by men, &c. Thereby to break and divide the church of England, the substan
tial enemy and bulwark against popery.
I am your intetligencer, Mr. Obsrvator, to bring to
you what I meet with among these sort of people, that . you may answer them j as 1 am sure you will, if you
think it worth your while.
But hark ye, master, I have now a scruple of my
own. Have not I often heard you and the rest of our club call K. Char. I. a papish ? and that we were not to believe what he faid upon the scaffold, nor Laud neither, to the contrary. That it was but a court-politick, to drive on some of their defigns. Yet now, to six popery upon
Laud, you fay it was the king who ordered him to write that book against Fisher.
And it is told in the account of his death, that he did then recommend that book particu larly to his children, as a preservative against popery. Now consider what you have done, in faying the king
ordered that book to be wrote. For the clearing that king from popery will do us and the cause more mischief, than if we could six popery upon Laud. Because the cry
of popery against that king was the chief engine we made use of, to draw the people after us, and seduce them from their allegiance to the king. B 4 O. My
:
O. My business then was only to leffen the evidence of I that book from clearing Laud ofpopery. And you know no body manages two causes at once. I have opportu nity enough to load that king with popery, and have done it. And though I should do it by something that would
8 The
REHEARSAL;
clear Laud, what then ? Laud"s charge stands still by it self. Do you understand me, country-man f
C. O, most cleverly, Sir, you are persectly in the right on't. You can never be out-done. You have your answers always ready. Thou art an admirable man. For quick repartees, and shifting at a dead-lift, I'll let thee loose to all the rogues in England. I'll warrant thou
wilt make thy party good with them all. And here is a double jug of oitober to thy worflAp. Come soak thy
And my Joan fhall put you to bed, as she did last night. Hang, moderation after cock-crow.
face.
To be published. A new character of high-church and brx -church. Of high and ,W. -christianity. Of high and lew-honesty. Of high and low-courage. Of high and /on>-
friendship. Qf high and low-stncerity. Of high and low-
Of high and low -zt < 1. And of high and low-modera tion, &c. and to be fold by the booksellers, high and /ow.
Jense.
REHEAR
From . fjdt. Aug. 5, to &at. Aug. iz, 1704. Ne2. Of loyalty. And the ministry.
Coun. s^OOT) V_X
morrow, Mr. Bays.
O. What . o'st mean, country-man?
C. Sir, that is your name now. Ever since your Ob- femiator of 'July 2q, 1704. wherein you tell us of the
publick post yon had got. You are now Observator-laureat.
And Bays belongs to your office, however you deserve it. And
S A L.
The REHEARSAL.
9
And your predecessor Bays was famous for his rehearsal. And your marks deserve a rehearsal as well as his. It's a pity they shou'd go at once reading over. They will bear chewing the cud upon them, for they rise in ones And your past is a great post, as you tell us,
stomach.
no less than the vindicating the revolution For which
our party to be sure, wou'd choose an able-hand. And the others fay, you are now worth answering, not for
your sense, but your quality. As being the mouth and pillar of the whigs and dissenters. So that if they can overthrow this one Goliah, the armies of the Philistines
will fly before them.
O. I own my self the champion of the caa/f . And de
fy the armies of divine right, of all your tantivy— high flying, &c. They wou'd go to heaven for government, but we are ySw of the rar/Æ. And there we will sick.
Yet we will not lose good words neither, we can make use of them as well as they. And then who can tell "which is which? don't you observe, country-man, how I fay, that providinte has put me into this publick post
ofvindicating the revolution ?
C. Right! master. That was a noble stroke ! you are
now providentia divina, the episcopal stile. And you
make the arch-bishep of Canterbury (Laud) a reverend father in Satan, this is turning their cannon upon them.
We only change stiles with them* And you know ex change is no robbery.
O. Since they dare enter the lists with me, come let
vis go backward, and begin my Observator of Saturday, Jug. 5.
C. Which of them, master Bays ? for there came out two that day.
O. A dog of dogs, ason of a Jesuit ! some rogue or other has put a trick upon me. B tit I'll be even with him.
You shall see how I'll claw hkn off in my . next. But,-
man,
you'll easily know mine by thesense. Mine be gins with the meaning of the word Cassandra. And V call her a madprophetess. What do they fay to that ?
C. They *
10 The REHEARSAL.
C. They fay you fye, an' plea/e your honour. That she was not mad, but a true prophetess, according to the
And that they were mad who would not believe her, when she foretold the destruction of Troy by the Greeks. That London was call'd new Troy, and that there are a parcel of Greeks within her walls, cover'd with a wooden-horse of pretence to religion, liberty, and proper ty, who will come out armed men, and set her on fire, as
story.
did once before, if she believe not Cassandra in time. That these Greeks wou'd have us pull down the walls of our laws, the corporation and test acts, which exclude dissenters from places of power and /r»y? , to let in this horse, which we must not look into, as being/i- cred to the Gods, tho' we hear the clashing of armour with in. That the Observator with the rest of his gang, calling to arms, and furbishing up the fame basket-hilt-
they
swords and muskets, which they made use of at Marjlon- moor and Edge-hill and vowing destruction to the high- church, that is, to all who wou'd not have the church as low as they wou'd make and threeitning to bind our kings in chains, to cut them in pieces, drag them about
the streets, &c. As Cassandra has faithfully told us,
part 2. upon the Observator.
O. make no question but that author'/ prophecies •will
ha•ue the same fate which hers formerly had; and that is, to be contemn all, but those who are as mad as him-
self.
C. blister upon that tongue wou'd you have old
England run the fate of old"Troy never to take warning
Not to believe true prophecies till they are fulfill'd in her
d,straction?
O. did not mean that, man.
C. No, but you said it.
O. You must never take my meaning my mumping. No matter what fay. You know my mind. But there another thing wherein they resemble each other, and that that his prophecies, as well as hers, are inspir'd
the devil.
C But
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The REHEARSAL. u
C But the story makes her prophecies to be true. And the moral of it is to express the fatality there is upon those whom God has determin'd to destroy That no ad
vice, or ever so plain demonstration will take place with them.
And he does not pretend to prophste ; but from plain matter offact, from what has been done ; and is just now a doing, pursuant to the avow'd principles of the
Grecians-^ evil-beasts, always lyars, he gives warning of the danger to all true Trojans.
O. But they fay, he has an advantage over me, because he uvrites with impunity against the government, and 1 am perfecuted for writingfor it.
C. You are quite out of your story. For, they fay, that he writes for the government, and you against it. That you set up principles upon which no government
whatever can be fase. By placing the power in the peo ple, whence nothing can follow, but eternal ri volution
and confuston. That upon this head, you justify the re bellion offorty-one, and the dc-nllation of K. Charles I. as is plainly made oat in Cassandra. That after you had been told of all this, and even when you were writing
against his Cnsscndra. no longer ago than Saturday, July 29th, you fay, speaking of K. Charles If. that ifhe had'
pretended to oppose them (his subjects) they might have had recourse to another lust vindication of their rights. So that, by this, their rebellion (as high-fyers call'd
against his Father, and all that follow'd upon was lust vindication their rights. And the Ryc-houfe-plot, and all the other plots we had against K Char. II. was another lust vindication. And then, how my queen free from our just vindications you must clear this, Observator, for will- sufser no harm to be done to my
queen.
O. do in that fame Observator of last July 29.
where sinding fault with many forts of people, put iti this caution, but still keeping to my old distinclion, betwixt
the government and ministry o/"England. What that thing you- call the ministry
G. AU
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12 The REHEARSAL.
O. All that are imploy'd in the administration of the government, these are the ministry; especially those in the
highest sosts are chiefly call'd the ministry.
C. And is not my queen the chief minister of them all ? O. Yes, country-man, she is the chief minister of the•
government. And she is but a minister, as having no other power, by our principles, but the administration of. the laws. For, look ye, she might otherwise grow ty-- rannical, and get a£ottf the /«•uf/. Therefore we place no. other powe r in the crown, but what we call the executive
that to execute the laws which we make. ;
power,
C. Then my queen only the chief hang-man. Ibid
you have care ofmy towel. will not sufser my queen to be abus'd. that the employment you have found' out for her but, Mr. Bays, take away the ministiy, where the government
O. Let the government lOok to that. What that to me? but, country-man, we wou'd not have the ministry quite taken away, but only chang'd, that is, put inta
eur hands;- because iwcou'd manage better.
C. Tfrat for your selves. But would not that
displease others, who wou'd as fain manage as you
O. Thou mean'st the church-party, the high-flying,
jure-divino-men, but there no danger of them they are for passive-obedience and nen-rrststance. They are
flaves by principle.
C. And you wou'd have my queen trust to that, wou'd ye? ".
O. Ay marry wou'-d I. '.
C. Yet you tell us, in your last Saturday's Observator,
Aug. That my queen's father, and her grand-father were both ruin'd these fame high-fiyers. If that be true,
they are dangerous folks, and no more to be disoblig'd, than the honest dissenters. And being much more in
number, and of greater estates and interest in the country (as we sind the election of our parliament men) they must be courted, and have the ministry put into their hands. And if they be jealous of mixt ministry, where we have
pare, then we must out for all together. How will yon do with that Bays. O. Why
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The REHEARS AL.
13
0.
come be patient.
O. Why d'ye think any ill words wou'd disturb me ?
I car'nt a farthing what he had call'd me ; if he had call'd me as many knaves and buzzards as Icall'd him. But the dog has pronsd 'it, man.
Vol. I. B C. That
2 The OBSERVATOR.
C. That indeed wou'd vex any body. Yet I wou'd
advise you to keep your temper; and not yelp so very loud, for in our country, when we throw a fione at a dog, and heyewls and hites we are sure has hit him. But proving be his way, cannot you prove as well as he?
O. Prove! yes can, and have done it. set down his very words, deny who can. In my Observator, Vol. N. 32. quote him faying thus, The root and
foundation all our republican schemes and pretences far re bellion, this suppos'd radical power in the people, as
erecting government at the beginning to overturn and change at their pleasure .
C. And what fay you to that
O. told you then. Must repeat my own words too faid thus to you, Don't you know the meaning raillery and scolding the Scots priest, man, has taken his degree at Billingscate, andean scold with any fish- woman 'em all.
C. O now remember. And that this was all yon
faid to
there once,
understand,
in with his cramp of repp, rapp, (what d'ye call pub lican. have heard of these publicans. They were tantivy-men, and higb-siyers, like Kirah, Dathan, and Ahiram. And these schemes, what country-men were they Some high-landers, I'll warrant you, and so high-bred, high fed, and high-church-men, as you delicately prove
in the fame Observator. And there another bard word in what you quoted out of Cassandra, that prin
ciples.
believe was he out scolded an oister-woman using ugly hard words to her, she did not
and so could not answer. And now he comes
some outlandish word. never heard master Observator, from you, or any of our club.
parlus thing, no doubt, that will break folksshins some times. smells of monarchy and flavery. And there
some mischief in the gizard of that radical, what something made of radishes that will hite ones tongue!
and not that scolding and persect Billingsgate out up on him for rogue Master Observator, you cou'd not have
?
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The OBSE RVATOR.
3
have picks out such another sentence in all the book for
raillery, as you call it. No doubt you wou'd choose what is most sit for your purpose.
0. Let me alone for that. But by radical, man, he means the root and beginning of what he calls political go vernment, that is, of nations urftler kings. And the sirst
di-viston of the world into nations he makes that menti oned, Gen. x. and fays, that God set a ruler over every one of these nations, all of whose names are there set down. But I think I am even with him for that. For
in the fame Observator I ask him this question, and put it in brave italick and capital letters, that it may be the more taken notice of, as that which will choak the whole kennel of the tant'wyrdogs, and they will never be able to answer. My question is this, Whose successor the FIRST king was, and whether he came to the throne by right of
INHERITANCE?
C. Is not that, master Observator, who was before the
firsts as if Ishou'd alk, who was An au's father? whose successor he was ? and whether he came in by right of
I'll
O. No. He fays there was paternal or patriarchal go vernment over families, some of which might be very great. As Abraham's family was, with which he cou'd tight kings. And such we may suppose the families to be of those call'd mighty men, and men. of renown before
theflood. But he fays, there was no such thing as nati ons which are compos'd of manyfamilies, and a political,
not a natural or paternal government over these nations, before that divistom we are told of Gen. x. And that this
was by institution, not by inheritance, more than the se veral languages were. And that God set a ruler over
every one of these nations at the sirst. Whose right of government did descend by inheritance afterwards. Which
was the way of the whole earth. That these nations did
divide, and go to the several countries allotted to them,
inheritance ? O, my dear Observator, thou hast hit it !
give thee a whole pail full of double october for this. But do's he fay, that there was no government in the world before this diviston of nations f
Bz
each
4 The OBSERVATOR. Ian
each nation under the ruler nam'd Gen. x. to which
swer smartly. Did they there find a person that claim"A a regal authority ever them, come from they knev? not whence, andsent by they knew not vohom ? Then Cassandra tells us, that the government was at sirst wholly dejjiotick in the king. That laws came in afterwards, by degrees, and in process of time, as limitations of concession granted by the king ; but not as any coercion upon him. To which I fay again, as shrewdly, When the people tvere divided into nations, andsettled in countries, did they there
find a scheme of government , and a statute book of latvs placed ready for them by an unknown hand? — this thing is
so very obvious, that the meanest capacity might at the firfi thought determine the point.
C. I vow, Mr. Observator, it is very obvious ! and I observe that thefirst fight is always best with those that shoot flying. I hate poreing and thinking, except when I
am top-heavy with october, seeing you to bed.
O. I'm -very sensible of all your favors, honest country
man. But what think you of the smite I gave the Scots-
pedling-priest in mine of July 8 .
. where I tell him,
N. I
he'll look just like the skeleton of the bishop of St. An
drew's ? rib, I C. It was under the fifth
prosess. There's a $kts example for him. We cut that bishop to pieces in
the high-way, without giving him leave to fay his pray ers, and stir'd his brains about with our swords. We have not had so sweet a bit (except the calves-head) since we cut the throat of his sellow primate of England, up on Tower-hill, that Laud whom you have pepper d. And it is not sit their ashes shou'd rest, lest they breed cocka
And that no- He sacrifice our dear brethrin in Scotland offer'd of the primate of St. Andrews ought to be remembered, as
well as what we did to the primate of Canterbury.
O. You see, counny men, I will not let it be forgotten,
CMy
trices of episcopal-jure-divino high-fiyers.
! it was a glorious day ! and lets these opposers of mo deration see, that if we cannot reach them one way, we
O
will another.
them answer
she OBSERVATOR.
5
C. 'My blessing upon thee, dear Ohsr^ator. Our cause. Would sink but for thy four quarters. But Cajsandra
appeals to the trial of that Laud (printed in the late im mortal reign, and licensed Jo. Cant. ) as a full answer to all you fay against him. And you have not so much as taken any notice of or mentionedit.
to it. And
O. If
big. fb/zo, wrose
July 26. that sets us men of quality above answering eve ry spiteful writer.
C. O, Sir, cry you mercy must now keep my di stance! pray, Sir, are you knighted and what post are you knight of you fay publick-posl. We have
none in our country but the whipping-post, or p—— ng
post. That fame Saturday morning faw your worship's piclure cry'd about the streets in another post, one of your
city posts, call'd pillory. suppose very honour able post, because stands so high, and there are guards about as you were a prince, and many of atten
dants. did believe that my queen wou'd at last see yo'. r merits and what service you have done her, and that she wou'd advance you in due time.
O. Sirrah, wou'd correct your insolence, but that
proceeds from your ignorance. The pillory disho nourable post, only for rogues and var/ets. And was
my enemies pufout that picture, some of the monarchy- men and high-flyers, to disgrace me. Because was once
upon time ordered to be whipp'd, for serving my coun
do you think
fay something
mention it, must
reasonable for me to read over
hugeous that reverend father in Satan let
that like it. like none on't. Especi ally does not become me now to answer books, who am put into a publics fost, as told you last Saturday,
try, as do now.
C. My oaken-towel shall be about their hones
— how came they to publish thiir, mean your scandalous
picture, on the very fame morning that your Obscrvator came out, telling of your publick-post that you were put in have they stolen a sight of your copy before was printed? so, you must change your printer or hook-
fitter.
But
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6 The OBSERV ATOR.
sdler.
w! ts jump?
Or was as we fay in our country, that good
O. Come leave off your fooling. But have not done that Laud's business for him, without answering his hook, in what told you on Wednesday, July iq, from bp. Hall?
C. They fay, that was wrote by Hall when Laud was young man at the univerfity. And that his opposing
some of the calvinistical opinions, then mightily in vogue, gave suspicion ofpopery against him. They fay, master, that these folks deny free-will. And that there was time when would have been thought popery to fay, that could choose to drink dish of october, or to let alone, when thought had my load. And bp. Hall does not call him papish, only bids him explain himself. And you have not told upon what pints he would have had him explain himself, that we might
know whether they were popery now.
O. Come, come, sind you keep ill company. These
rogues will debauch you, you converse with them. They
have soir. ething to fay to every thing. But what do they fey to what fay, that Laud did write a bock against
Fisher, not out his onxrn inclination, but
the king
direction
C. They/Sy, that you fay so. And that your/yi ought not to be taken without proof. They fay, that might be both out of his own inclination, and by direction of the king. That had not been out of his own in clination had never been so exceedingly well done. As we fay, must be an ugly child that got against the
father's will.
O. But do not tell them, that even in this book against
Fisher, he arms the protestant body very weakly, as
be destgned to submit to a conquest.
C. But they will not believe you, nor any body else
that ever read it. They bid you give an instance. They fay, this mere lying and stexndering, when you have nothing else to fay. That like you and the rest of your party, the vibigs and dissenters; all of whose
writings
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The OBSE RVATOR.
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*voritings put together, since they sirst appeared in the world, have not so much solid argument against popery as what is contained in that one book of Laud against
Ti/ker, justly celebrated all over the learned world. They
fay the dissenters write against popery, as you do against
Cassandra, by calling the pope a whore, and such like
names of brazen-front, impudence, &c. But that they still retain the very Jesuitical mischievous points of the depofing- doctrinc, the dispenfing with oaths, lying for God,
taking arms and rebelling for religion. From them they learned trie arguments they use against the divine right of
episcopacy, and of kings. And that it was their emissa ries, as Heath, Cuming, &c. who in the reign of E/ix.
began the fect of the puritans, and set up the extempore nvay against liturgies, and the pretendtd impulses of the spirit against outward ordination by men, &c. Thereby to break and divide the church of England, the substan
tial enemy and bulwark against popery.
I am your intetligencer, Mr. Obsrvator, to bring to
you what I meet with among these sort of people, that . you may answer them j as 1 am sure you will, if you
think it worth your while.
But hark ye, master, I have now a scruple of my
own. Have not I often heard you and the rest of our club call K. Char. I. a papish ? and that we were not to believe what he faid upon the scaffold, nor Laud neither, to the contrary. That it was but a court-politick, to drive on some of their defigns. Yet now, to six popery upon
Laud, you fay it was the king who ordered him to write that book against Fisher.
And it is told in the account of his death, that he did then recommend that book particu larly to his children, as a preservative against popery. Now consider what you have done, in faying the king
ordered that book to be wrote. For the clearing that king from popery will do us and the cause more mischief, than if we could six popery upon Laud. Because the cry
of popery against that king was the chief engine we made use of, to draw the people after us, and seduce them from their allegiance to the king. B 4 O. My
:
O. My business then was only to leffen the evidence of I that book from clearing Laud ofpopery. And you know no body manages two causes at once. I have opportu nity enough to load that king with popery, and have done it. And though I should do it by something that would
8 The
REHEARSAL;
clear Laud, what then ? Laud"s charge stands still by it self. Do you understand me, country-man f
C. O, most cleverly, Sir, you are persectly in the right on't. You can never be out-done. You have your answers always ready. Thou art an admirable man. For quick repartees, and shifting at a dead-lift, I'll let thee loose to all the rogues in England. I'll warrant thou
wilt make thy party good with them all. And here is a double jug of oitober to thy worflAp. Come soak thy
And my Joan fhall put you to bed, as she did last night. Hang, moderation after cock-crow.
face.
To be published. A new character of high-church and brx -church. Of high and ,W. -christianity. Of high and lew-honesty. Of high and low-courage. Of high and /on>-
friendship. Qf high and low-stncerity. Of high and low-
Of high and low -zt < 1. And of high and low-modera tion, &c. and to be fold by the booksellers, high and /ow.
Jense.
REHEAR
From . fjdt. Aug. 5, to &at. Aug. iz, 1704. Ne2. Of loyalty. And the ministry.
Coun. s^OOT) V_X
morrow, Mr. Bays.
O. What . o'st mean, country-man?
C. Sir, that is your name now. Ever since your Ob- femiator of 'July 2q, 1704. wherein you tell us of the
publick post yon had got. You are now Observator-laureat.
And Bays belongs to your office, however you deserve it. And
S A L.
The REHEARSAL.
9
And your predecessor Bays was famous for his rehearsal. And your marks deserve a rehearsal as well as his. It's a pity they shou'd go at once reading over. They will bear chewing the cud upon them, for they rise in ones And your past is a great post, as you tell us,
stomach.
no less than the vindicating the revolution For which
our party to be sure, wou'd choose an able-hand. And the others fay, you are now worth answering, not for
your sense, but your quality. As being the mouth and pillar of the whigs and dissenters. So that if they can overthrow this one Goliah, the armies of the Philistines
will fly before them.
O. I own my self the champion of the caa/f . And de
fy the armies of divine right, of all your tantivy— high flying, &c. They wou'd go to heaven for government, but we are ySw of the rar/Æ. And there we will sick.
Yet we will not lose good words neither, we can make use of them as well as they. And then who can tell "which is which? don't you observe, country-man, how I fay, that providinte has put me into this publick post
ofvindicating the revolution ?
C. Right! master. That was a noble stroke ! you are
now providentia divina, the episcopal stile. And you
make the arch-bishep of Canterbury (Laud) a reverend father in Satan, this is turning their cannon upon them.
We only change stiles with them* And you know ex change is no robbery.
O. Since they dare enter the lists with me, come let
vis go backward, and begin my Observator of Saturday, Jug. 5.
C. Which of them, master Bays ? for there came out two that day.
O. A dog of dogs, ason of a Jesuit ! some rogue or other has put a trick upon me. B tit I'll be even with him.
You shall see how I'll claw hkn off in my . next. But,-
man,
you'll easily know mine by thesense. Mine be gins with the meaning of the word Cassandra. And V call her a madprophetess. What do they fay to that ?
C. They *
10 The REHEARSAL.
C. They fay you fye, an' plea/e your honour. That she was not mad, but a true prophetess, according to the
And that they were mad who would not believe her, when she foretold the destruction of Troy by the Greeks. That London was call'd new Troy, and that there are a parcel of Greeks within her walls, cover'd with a wooden-horse of pretence to religion, liberty, and proper ty, who will come out armed men, and set her on fire, as
story.
did once before, if she believe not Cassandra in time. That these Greeks wou'd have us pull down the walls of our laws, the corporation and test acts, which exclude dissenters from places of power and /r»y? , to let in this horse, which we must not look into, as being/i- cred to the Gods, tho' we hear the clashing of armour with in. That the Observator with the rest of his gang, calling to arms, and furbishing up the fame basket-hilt-
they
swords and muskets, which they made use of at Marjlon- moor and Edge-hill and vowing destruction to the high- church, that is, to all who wou'd not have the church as low as they wou'd make and threeitning to bind our kings in chains, to cut them in pieces, drag them about
the streets, &c. As Cassandra has faithfully told us,
part 2. upon the Observator.
O. make no question but that author'/ prophecies •will
ha•ue the same fate which hers formerly had; and that is, to be contemn all, but those who are as mad as him-
self.
C. blister upon that tongue wou'd you have old
England run the fate of old"Troy never to take warning
Not to believe true prophecies till they are fulfill'd in her
d,straction?
O. did not mean that, man.
C. No, but you said it.
O. You must never take my meaning my mumping. No matter what fay. You know my mind. But there another thing wherein they resemble each other, and that that his prophecies, as well as hers, are inspir'd
the devil.
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The REHEARSAL. u
C But the story makes her prophecies to be true. And the moral of it is to express the fatality there is upon those whom God has determin'd to destroy That no ad
vice, or ever so plain demonstration will take place with them.
And he does not pretend to prophste ; but from plain matter offact, from what has been done ; and is just now a doing, pursuant to the avow'd principles of the
Grecians-^ evil-beasts, always lyars, he gives warning of the danger to all true Trojans.
O. But they fay, he has an advantage over me, because he uvrites with impunity against the government, and 1 am perfecuted for writingfor it.
C. You are quite out of your story. For, they fay, that he writes for the government, and you against it. That you set up principles upon which no government
whatever can be fase. By placing the power in the peo ple, whence nothing can follow, but eternal ri volution
and confuston. That upon this head, you justify the re bellion offorty-one, and the dc-nllation of K. Charles I. as is plainly made oat in Cassandra. That after you had been told of all this, and even when you were writing
against his Cnsscndra. no longer ago than Saturday, July 29th, you fay, speaking of K. Charles If. that ifhe had'
pretended to oppose them (his subjects) they might have had recourse to another lust vindication of their rights. So that, by this, their rebellion (as high-fyers call'd
against his Father, and all that follow'd upon was lust vindication their rights. And the Ryc-houfe-plot, and all the other plots we had against K Char. II. was another lust vindication. And then, how my queen free from our just vindications you must clear this, Observator, for will- sufser no harm to be done to my
queen.
O. do in that fame Observator of last July 29.
where sinding fault with many forts of people, put iti this caution, but still keeping to my old distinclion, betwixt
the government and ministry o/"England. What that thing you- call the ministry
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12 The REHEARSAL.
O. All that are imploy'd in the administration of the government, these are the ministry; especially those in the
highest sosts are chiefly call'd the ministry.
C. And is not my queen the chief minister of them all ? O. Yes, country-man, she is the chief minister of the•
government. And she is but a minister, as having no other power, by our principles, but the administration of. the laws. For, look ye, she might otherwise grow ty-- rannical, and get a£ottf the /«•uf/. Therefore we place no. other powe r in the crown, but what we call the executive
that to execute the laws which we make. ;
power,
C. Then my queen only the chief hang-man. Ibid
you have care ofmy towel. will not sufser my queen to be abus'd. that the employment you have found' out for her but, Mr. Bays, take away the ministiy, where the government
O. Let the government lOok to that. What that to me? but, country-man, we wou'd not have the ministry quite taken away, but only chang'd, that is, put inta
eur hands;- because iwcou'd manage better.
C. Tfrat for your selves. But would not that
displease others, who wou'd as fain manage as you
O. Thou mean'st the church-party, the high-flying,
jure-divino-men, but there no danger of them they are for passive-obedience and nen-rrststance. They are
flaves by principle.
C. And you wou'd have my queen trust to that, wou'd ye? ".
O. Ay marry wou'-d I. '.
C. Yet you tell us, in your last Saturday's Observator,
Aug. That my queen's father, and her grand-father were both ruin'd these fame high-fiyers. If that be true,
they are dangerous folks, and no more to be disoblig'd, than the honest dissenters. And being much more in
number, and of greater estates and interest in the country (as we sind the election of our parliament men) they must be courted, and have the ministry put into their hands. And if they be jealous of mixt ministry, where we have
pare, then we must out for all together. How will yon do with that Bays. O. Why
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The REHEARS AL.
13
0.
