" He leaned over to say in her ear: "Do you know
anything
specific about that woman?
Musil - Man Without Qualities - v2
You know, it's either that or .
.
.
"
This somewhat incomplete final sentence was uttered so menac- ingly that there was no mistaking that he knew what he wanted, and
1080 • THE MAN WITH 0 U T QUALITIES
Diotima obediently promised to hurry; but then she forgot again and did nothing.
And then one day Count Leinsdorf was seized by his well-known energy and drove straight to her door, propelled by forty horse- power.
"Has anything happened yet? " he asked, and Diotima had to admit that nothing had.
"Do you know the Inn River, my dear? " he asked.
Of course Diotima knew the Inn, second only to the Danube as Kakania's most famous river, richly interwoven with the country's ge- ography and history. She observed her visitor rather dubiously, while doing her best to smile.
But Count Leinsdorf was in deadly earnest. "Apart from Inns- brock," he said, "what ridiculous backwoods places all those little towns in the Inn Valley are, and what an imposing river the Inn is in our culture! And to think I never realized it before! " He shook his head. "You see, I happened by chance to look at a highway map today," he said, finally coming to the point, "and I noticed that the Inn rises in Switzerland. I must have known it before, of course, we all know it, but we never give it a thought. It rises at Majola, I've seen it there myself; a ridiculous little creek no wider than the Kamp or the Morava in our country. But what have the Swiss made ofit? The Engadine! The world-famous Engadine! The Engad-Inn, my dear! Has it ever occurred to you that the whole Engadine comes from the name Inn? That's what I hit upon today. While we, with our insuffer- able Austrian modesty, of course never make anything out of what belongs to us! "
After this chat Diotima hastened to arrange for the desired recep- tion, partly because she realized that she had to stand by Count Leinsdorf, and partly because she was afraid of driving her high- ranking friend to some extreme if she continued to refuse.
But when she gave him her promise, Leinsdorf said:
"And this time, I beg ofyou, dearest lady, don't fail to invite--er- that x you call Drangsal. Her friend Frau Wayden has been pestering me about this person for weeks, and won't leave me in peace! "
Diotima promised this too, although at other times she would have regarded putting up with her rival as a dereliction of duty to her country.
35
A GREAT EVENT IS IN THE MAKING. PRIVY COUNCILLOR MESERITSCHER
When the rooms were filled with the radiance of festive illumination and the assembled company, an observer could note among those present not only His Excellency, together with other leading mem- bers of the high aristocracy for whose appearance he had arranged, but also His Excellency the Minister of War, and in the latter's en- tourage the intensely intellectual, somewhat overworked head of General Stumm von Bordwehr. One observed Paul Arnheim (with- out the "Dr. ": simple and most effective; the observer had thought it over carefully-it's called "litotes," an artful understatement, like re- moving some trifle from one's body, as when a king removes a ring from his finger to place it on someone else's). Then one observed everyone worth mentioning from the various ministries (the Minister of Education and Culture had apologized to His Excellency in the Upper House for not coming in person; he had to go to Linz for the consecration of a great altar screen). Then one noted that the foreign embassies and legations had sent an "elite. " There were well-known names "from industry, art, and science," and a time-honored allegory of diligence lay in this invariable combination of three bourgeois ac- tivities, a combination that seized hold of the scribbling pen all by itself. That same adept pen then presented the ladies: beige, pink, cherry, cream . . . ; embroidered, draped, triple-tiered, or dropped from the waist. . . . Between Countess Adlitz and Frau Generaldirek- tor Weghuber was listed the well-known Frau Melanie Drangsal, widow of the world-famous surgeon, "in her own right a charming hostess, who provides in her house a hearth for the leading lights of our times. " Finally, listed separately at the end of this section, was the name of Ulrich von So-and-so and sister. The observer had hesi- tated about adding "whose name is widely associated with his selfless service on behalf of that high-minded and patriotic undertaking," or even "a coming man. " Word had gone around long since that one of
1081
Io82 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
these days this protege of Count Leinsdorf was widely expected to involve his patron in some rash misstep, and the temptation to go on record early as someone in the know was great. However, the deep- est satisfaction for those in the know is always silence, especially when it proceeds from caution. It was to this that Ulrich and Agathe owed the mere mention of their names as stragglers, immediately preceding those leaders of society and the intelligentsia who are not named individually but simply destined for the mass grave of "all those of rank and station. " Many people fell into this category, among them the well-known professor of jurisprudence Councillor Herr Professor Schwung, who happened to be in the capital as a member of a government commission of inquiry, and also the young poet Friedel Feuermaul, for although his was known to be among the moving spirits behind this evening's gathering, that was a far cry from the more substantial significance of a title or the triumphs of haute couture. People such as Acting Bank Director Leo Fischel and family-who had won admittance thanks to Gerda's grueling efforts, without any help from Ulrich, in other words because of Diotima's momentarily flagging attention-were simply buried in the comer of one's eye. And the wife of an eminent jurist (who was well known but on such an occasion still below the threshold ofpublic notice), a lady whose name, Bonadea, was unknown even to the observer, was later exhumed for listing among the wearers of noteworthy gowns because her sensational looks aroused great admiration.
This impersonal seeing eye, the surveying curiosity of the public, was of course a person. There are usually quite a lot of them, but in the Kakanian metropolis at that time there was one who overtopped all the rest: Privy Councillor Meseritscher. Born in the Wallachian town of Meseritsch, whence his name, this publisher, editor, and news correspondent of the Parliamentary and Social Gazette, which he had founded in the sixties of the last century, had come to the capital as a young man, sacrificing his expectation of taking over his parents' tavern in his native town in order to become a journalist, having been attracted by the political promise of liberalism that was then at its zenith. And before long he had made his contribution to that era by founding a news agency, which began by supplying small local items of a police nature to the newspapers. Thanks to the indus- try, reliability, and thoroughness of its owner, this rudimentary
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1083
agency not only earned the esteem of the papers and the police but was soon noticed by other high authorities as well, and used by them for placing items they wanted to publicize without taking responsibil- ity, so that the agency soon found itself in a privileged position for tapping unofficial information from official sources. A man of great enterprise and a tireless worker, Meseritscher, as he saw this success developing, extended his activity to include news from the Court and Society; indeed, he would probably never have left Meseritsch for the capital if this had not been his guiding vision. Flawless reporting of "those present. . was regarded as his specialty. His memory for people and what was said about them was extraordinary, and this as- sured him of the same splendid relationship with the salon that he had with the prison. He knew Society better than it knew itself, and his unflagging devotion enabled him to make people who had met at a gathering properly acquainted with each other the very next morn- ing, like some old cavalier in whom everyone has for decades been confiding all their marriage plans and the problems they were having with their dressmakers. And so, on every sort of great occasion, the zealous, nimble, ever-obliging, affable little man was a familiar insti- tution, and in his later years it was only he and his presence that con- ferred indisputable prestige to such occasions.
Meseritscher's career had reached a peak when the title Privy Councillor was bestowed upon him, and this involves an interesting peculiarity. Kakania was the most peace-loving of countries, but at some time or other it had decided, in the profound innocence of its convictions, that, wars being a thing of the past, its civil service should be organized as a hierarchy corresponding to military ranks, complete with similar uniforms and insignia. Since then the rank of Privy Councillor corresponded to that of a lieutenant colonel in His Majesty's Imperial and Royal Army. But even though this was not in itself an exalted rank, the peculiarity was that according to an immu- table tradition, which, like everything immutable in Kakania, was modified only in exceptional cases, Meseritscher should really have been named an Imperial Councillor. An Imperial Councillor was not, as one might suppose from the term, superior to a Privy Council- lor, but inferior: it only corresponded to the rank of captain. Mese- ritscher should have been an Imperial Councillor because that title was given, other than to certain civil servants, only to those engaged
1084 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
in independent professions such as, for example, court barber or coach builder, and, by the same token, writers and artists; while Privy Councillor was at the time an actual high-ranking title in the civil service. That Meseritscher was nevertheless the first and only mem- ber of his profession to be so honored expressed something more than the high honor of the title itself-indeed, even more than the daily reminder not to take too seriously whatever happens in this country of ours; the unjustified title was a subtle and discreet way of assuring the indefatigable chronicler his close association with Court, State, and Society.
Meseritscher had been a model for many journalists in his time, and was on the boards of leading literary associations. The story also went around that he had had made for himself a uniform with a gold collar, but only put it on, sometimes, at home. Chances are the rumor was untrue, because deep down Meseritscher had always pre- served certain memories of the tavern trade in Meseritsch, and a good tavemkeeper also knows the secrets of all his guests but doesn't make use of everything he knows; he never brings his own opinions into a discussion but enjoys noting and telling everything in the way of fact, anecdote, or joke. And so Meseritscher, whom one met on every social occasion as the acknowledged memorializer of beautiful women and distinguished men, had himself never even thought of going to a good tailor; he knew all the behind-the-scenes intricacies of politics, yet had never dabbled in politics in even a single line of print; he knew about all the discoveries and inventions of his time without understanding any of them. He was perfectly satisfied to know that they existed and were "present. " He honestly loved his time, and his time reciprocated his affection to a certain degree, be- cause he daily reported its presence to the world.
When Diotima caught sight of him as he entered, she immediately beckoned him to her side.
"My dear Meseritscher," she said, as sweetly as she knew how. "You surely didn't take His Excellency's speech in the Upper House today as an expression of our position-you couldn't have taken it literally? "
His Excellency, in the context ofthe Minister's downfall and exas- perated by his cares, had made a widely noticed speech in the Upper House in which he not only charged his victim with having failed to
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1085
show the true constructive spirit of cooperation and strictness of principle, but also let his zeal carry him to making general observa- tions that in some inexplicable fashion culminated in a recognition of the importance of the press, in which he reproached this "institution risen to the status of a world power" with pretty much everything with which a feudal-minded, independent, nonpartisan, Christian gentleman could charge an institution that in his view is the dead opposite of himself. It was this that Diotima was diplomatically trying to smooth over, and Meseritscher listened pensively as she found in- creasingly fine and unintelligible language for Count Leinsdorf's real point of view. Then suddenly he laid a hand on her arm and mag- nanimously interrupted her:
"My dear lady, how can you upset yourself like this? " he summed up. "His Excellency is a good friend to us, isn't he? What if he did exaggerate? Why shouldn't he, a gallant gentleman like him? " And to prove that his relationship to the Count was unruffled, he added: 'Til just go and greet him now! "
That was Meseritscher! But before he moved off he turned to Di- otima once more and asked confidentially:
'What about Feuermaul, dear lady? "
Smiling, Diotima shrugged her beautiful shoulders. "Nothing so very earthshaking, my dear Councillor. We wouldn't like it to be said that we rebuffed anyone who came to us in good faith! "
"Good faith-that's rich," Meseritscher thought on his way to Count Leinsdorf. But before he reached him, indeed even before his thoughts had reached a conclusion, his host stepped amicably into his path.
"My dear Meseritscher, my official sources have let me down again," Section Chief Tuzzi began with a smile. "So I'm turning to you as our semi-official source of information. Can you tell me any- thing about this Feuermaul who's here this evening? "
'What would I have to tell you, Herr Section Chief? " Mese- ritscher deprecated.
''I'm told he's a genius. "
"Glad to hear it! " Meseritscher answered.
If the news is to be reported with speed and confidence, today's
news should not be too different from yesterday's, or what one knows already. Even genius is no exception: real, acknowledged genius, that
1086 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
is, whose significance can be readily assessed in its own time. Not so the genius that is not instantly recognized by all and sundry! This sort of genius has something distinctly ungenial about it, a quality, more- over, that is not even solely its own, so that it is possible to misjudge it in every respect. Privy Councillor Meseritscher had a solid inventory of geniuses, which he tended with care and attention, but he was not keen on adding new items. The older and more experienced he grew, in fact, the more he had even formed the habit of regarding any ris- ing artistic genius, especially in his neighboring field of literature, merely as a frivolous interference with his own work of reportage, and he hated it in all righteousness until it became ripe for inclusion in his lists of"those present. " At that time Feuermaul still had a long way to go, and his way had yet to be smoothed for him. Privy Coun- cillor Meseritscher was not quite sure he was in favor.
"They say he's supposed to be a great poet," Tuzzi repeated hesi- tantly, and Meseritscher retorted firmly: "Who says so? The critics on the book page? I ask you, Section Chief, what difference does that make? The specialists say these things, and what of it? Many of them say the opposite. We've even known the same experts to say one thing one day and something else the next. Does it really matter what they say? A real literary reputation has to have reached the illiterates; only then can you depend on it! Would you like to know what I think? What a great man does, apart from his arriving and leaving, is nobody's business! "
He had worked himself up into a gloomy fervor, and his eyes were glued to Tuzzi's. Tuzzi gave up and said nothing.
"What's really going on here this evening, Section Chief? " Mese- ritscher asked him.
Tuzzi smiled absently and shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing. Nothing, really. A little ambition. Have you ever read any of Feuer- maul's books? "
"I know what he writes about: peace, friendship, goodness, et cetera. "
"So you don't think too much of him? " Tuzzi said.
"Good Lord! " Meseritscher started wriggling. "Who am I to say . . . ? " At this point Frau Drangsal came bearing down on them, and Tuzzi had to take a courteous step or two in her direction. Mese- ritscher saw the chance to slip into a breach he had espied in the
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1087
circle around Count Leinsdorf, and seizing it before anyone else could waylay him, he dropped anchor beside His Grace.
Count Leinsdorf was talking with the Minister and some other men, but as soon as Meseritscher had paid them all his devout re- spects, His Grace turned slightly and drew him aside.
"Meseritscher," he said intently. "Promise me that there will be no misunderstandings; the gentlemen of the press never seem to know what to write. Now then: Nothing whatsoever has changed in our position since the last time. Something may change. We don't know about that. For the time being there must be no interference. So please, even if one of your colleagues should ask you, remember that this whole evening here is nothing more than a private party given by Frau Tuzzi. . "
Meseritscher's eyelids slowly and solicitously conveyed that he had understood these top-level commands. And since one confidence deserves another, he moistened his lips, which then gleamed as his eyes should have done, and asked: "And what about Feuermaul, Your Excellency, if I may be permitted to ask? "
"Why on earth shouldn't you? " Count Leinsdorf replied in sur- prise. "There's nothing whatever to be said about Feuermaul! He was invited because Baroness Wayden wouldn't leave us in peace until he was! What else should there be? Perhaps you know some- thing? "
Up to this point Privy Councillor Meseritscher had not been in- clined to take the Feuermaul question too seriously, but regarded it as one ofthe many social rivalries he ran into every day. But now that even Count Leinsdorf denied so energetically that there was any- thing in it, Meseritscher had to think again, and came to the conclu- sion that something important was in the wind. "What can they be up to now? " he brooded as he wandered through the throng, pondering one by one the most daring possibilities of domestic and foreign pol- icy. But after a while he decided abruptly: "There's probably nothing to it," and refused to let himself be distracted any longer from his job of reporting the news.
For however much it appeared to be in conflict with his mission in life, Meseritscher did not believe in great events; indeed, he did not hold with them. When one believes that one is living in a very impor- tant, very splendid, and very great period, one does not welcome the
1o88 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
idea that anything especially important, splendid, and great has yet to happen in it. Meseritscher was no alpinist, but if he had been he would have said that his attitude was as correct as it was to put look- out towers on middling-high mountains but never on the really high peaks. Since such analogies did not occur to him, it was enough to register a certain uneasiness and make up his mind that he would not mention Feuermaul in his column at all, not even by name.
A GREAT EVENT IS IN THE MAKING. MEETING SOME OLD ACQUAINTANCES
Ulrich, who had been standing beside his cousin while she was speaking with Meseritscher, asked her as soon as they were alone for a moment:
''I'm sorry I arrived too late; how was your first encounter with La Drangsal? "
Diotima raised her heavy eyelashes to give him a single world- weary glance and dropped them again.
"Delightful, of course. She'd been to see me. We'll arrange some- thing or other this evening. As ifit made any difference! "
"You see! " Ulrich said, in the tone of their old conversations, as if to draw a final line under all that.
Diotima turned her head and gave her cousin a quizzical look.
"I told you already," Ulrich said. "Now it's almost all over, as if nothing had happened. " He needed to talk: when he had got home that afternoon, Agathe had been there but soon left again; they had spoken only a few brief words before they came to Diotima's; Agathe had dressed with the aid of the gardener's wife. "I did warn you! " Ulrich said.
"Against what? " Diotima asked slowly. "Oh, I don't know. Against everything! "
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1o8g
In fact, he no longer knew himself what he had not warned her against: her ideas, her ambition, the Parallel Campaign, love, intel- lect, the Jubilee Year, the world of business, her salon, her passions; against the dangers of sensibility and of casually letting things take their course, against letting herself go too far and holding herself too much in check, against adultery and marriage. There was nothing he had not warned her against. "That's how she is," he thought. Every- thing she did looked ridiculous to him, yet she was so beautiful it made him sad.
"I warned you," Ulrich repeated. "I hear that you're no longer in- terested in anything but the scientific approach to sexual problems. " Diotima ignored this. "Do you think this Drangsal's protege is re-
ally gifted? " she asked.
"Certainly," Ulrich replied. "Gifted, young, undeveloped. His suc-
cess and this woman will be the ruin ofhim. In this country newborn babies are ruined by being told that they are people with fabulous instincts that intellectual development would only rob them of. He sometimes comes up with good ideas, but can't let ten minutes go by without making an ass of himself.
" He leaned over to say in her ear: "Do you know anything specific about that woman? ''
Diotima shook her head almost imperceptibly.
"She's dangerously ambitious," Ulrich said. "But not uninteresting from the point of view of your current researches. Where beautiful women used to wear a fig leaf, she wears a laurelleafl I hate women like that! "
Diotima did not laugh, nor even smile; she merely inclined her head toward the "cousin. "
"And how do you find him as a man? '' he asked.
"Pathetic," Diotima whispered. "Like a lambkin running to pre- mature fat. "
"What of it? The beauty of the male is only a secondary sexual characteristic," Ulrich said. "What's primarily exciting about him is the expectation of his success. Ten years from now Feuermaul will be an international celebrity; Drangsal's connections will take care of that, and then she'll marry him. If he remains a celebrity, it'll be a happy marriage. "
Diotima bethought herself and gravely corrected him: "Happiness in marriage depends on factors one cannot judge without first sub-
1090 · THE-MAN WITH0 UT QUALITIES
jecting oneself to a certain discipline! " Then she abandoned him as a proud ship abandons the quay alongside which it has lain. Her duties as hostess bore her away from him with the barest nod, not even a glance, as she cast off her moorings. But she did not mean it un- kindly; on the contrary, Ulrich's voice had affected her like an old tune from her youth. She even wondered privately what she might learn about him by subjecting his sexuality to the illumination of a scientific study. Oddly enough, in all her detailed research into these problems, she had never thought of connecting them with him.
Ulrich looked up, and through a gap in the festive tumult-a kind of optical channel through which Diotima's gaze might have pre- ceded his own just before she had taken her somewhat abrupt depar- ture-he saw, in the room beyond the next, Paul Arnheim in conversation with Feuermaul, with Frau Drangsal standing benignly by. She had brought the two men together. Arnheim was holding the hand with the cigar raised, as though in an unconscious gesture of self-defense, but he was smiling most engagingly; Feuermaul was talking vivaciously, holding his cigar with two fingers and sucking at it between sentences with the greed of a calf butting its muzzle at the maternal udder. Ulrich could have imagined what they were talking about, but he didn't bother; he stayed where he was, in happy isola- tion, looking around for his sister. He discovered her in a group of men who were mostly strangers to him, and a cool chill ran through him despite his distractedness. But just then Stumm von Bordwehr poked him gently in the ribs with a fingertip, and at the same mo- ment Hofrat Professor Schwung approached him on the other side but was stopped a few steps away by the intervention of one of his colleagues from the capital.
"So there you are at last! " the General murmured in relief. "The Minister wants to know what an 'ethos' is. "
''Why an ethos? "
"I don't know. What's an ethos? "
"An eternal truth," Ulrich defined, "that is neither eternal nor
true, but valid for a time to serve as a standard for people to go by. It's a philosophical and sociological term, and not often used. "
"Aha, that'll be it," the General said. "Arnheim, you see, was claiming that the proposition 'Man is good' is only an ethos. Feuer- maul replied that he didn't know what an ethos was, but man is good,
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1 0 9 1
and that's an eternal truth! Then Leinsdorf said, 'Quite right. There can't really be any evil people, since no one can possibly will evil; these people are only misguided. People are rather nervous these days because in times like these we have so many skeptics who won't believe in anything solid. ' I couldn't help thinking he should have been with us this afternoon. Anyway, he also thinks that people who won't realize what's good for them have to be forced to. And so the Minister wants to know what an ethos is. rll just dash over to him and come right back. Don't budge, so I can find you again! There's some- thing else I must talk with you about, urgently, and then rll take you to the Minister. "
Before Ulrich could ask for particulars, Tuzzi slipped a hand around his arm in passing, saying: 'We haven't seen you here in ages! " Then he went on: "Do you remember my prediction that we'd have a pacifist invasion to deal with? " So saying, he gazed cordially into the General's eyes, but Stumm was in a hurry and merely said that though his ethos as an officer was of another kind, any sincere conviction . . . The rest of this sentence vanished with him, because he always found Tuzzi irritating, which is not conducive to good thinking.
The Section Chief blinked gaily at the General's retreating form and then turned back to the "cousin. " "That business with the oil fields is only a blind, of course," he said.
Ulrich looked at him in surprise.
"You don't mean to say you haven't heard about the oil fields? " Tuzzi asked.
"I have," Ulrich answered. "I was merely surprised that you knew about them," and, not to be impolite, added, "You really understood how to keep quiet about it! "
''I've known about them for quite some time," Tuzzi said, flat- tered. "That this fellow Feuermaul is here this evening is of course Arnheim's doing, bywayofLeinsdorf. Have you read his books, inci- dentally? "
Ulrich admitted that he had.
"A dyed-in-the-wool pacifist! " Tuzzi said. "And La Drangsal, as my wife calls her, mothers him so ambitiously that she'll kill for paci- fism if she has to, even though it's not really her line-artists are her line. " Tuzzi paused to consider, then revealed to Ulrich: "Pacifism is
1092 • THE MAN WITH0 UT QUALITIES
the main thing, of course; the oil fields are only a red herring; that's why they're pushing Feuermaul, with his pacifi. sm, to make everyone think: 'Aha, that's the red herring! ' and believe that what's behind it is the oil fields! Neatly done, but much too clever to fool anybody. For ifArnheim has the Galician oil fields and a contract to supply the Army, we naturally have to protect our frontier. W e also have to in- stall oil bases for the Navy on the Adriatic, which will upset the Ital- ians. But ifwe provoke our neighbors this way, the outcry for peace goes up, and so does the peace propaganda, and then when the Czar steps fotward with some idea about Perpetual Peace, he'll flnd the ground psychologically prepared for it. That's Arnheim's real objective! "
"And you've something against it? "
"Of course we have nothing against it," Tuzzi said. "But as you may remember, I've already explained to you why there's nothing so dangerous as peace at any price. We must defend ourselves against the dilettantes! "
"But Arnheim is a munitions maker! " Ulrich objected, smiling.
"Of course he is! " Tuzzi murmured with some exasperation. "For heaven's sake, how can you be so nai've about these things? He'll have his contract in his pocket. At most, our neighbors will arm too. Mark my words: at the crucial moment, he'll show his hand as a paci- fist! Pacifi. sm is a safe, dependable business for munitions makers; war is a risk! "
"It seems to me the military doesn't really mean any harm," Ulrich said, trying to mollify him. "They're only using the business with Arnheim to bring their artillery up-to-date, nothing more. Today the whole world is only arming for peace, after all, so it only seems right to let the pacifi. sts help. "
"And how do these people imagine that's to be done? " Tuzzi in- quired, ignoring the joke.
"I don't think they've got that far yet; for the present they're still searching their hearts. "
"Naturally! " Tuzzi agreed crossly, as though this were just what he had expected. "The military ought to stick to thinking about war and leave everything else to the department responsible. But before doing that, these gentlemen with their dilettantism would rather en- danger the whole world! I tell you again: Nothing is so dangerous in
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1093
diplomacy as loose talk about peace! Every time the demand for peace has reached a certain pitch and was no longer to be contained, it's led straight to war! I can document that for you! . .
Now Hofrat Professor Schwung had rid himself of his colleague and turned with great warmth to Ulrich for an introduction to their host. Ulrich obliged with the remark that one might say that this dis- tinguished jurist condemned pacifism in the sphere of the penal code as ardently as the authoritative Section Chief did in the political arena.
"But good gracious,. . Tuzzi protested, laughing, "you've misun- derstood me entirely! . .
And Schwung too, after a moment's hesitation, was sufficiently re- assured to join forces with him, saying that he would not like his view of diminished responsibility to be regarded as in any way bloodthirsty or inhumane.
"Quite the opposite! . . he said, spreading his voice in place of his arms like an old actor on the lecture platform. "It is precisely the pacification of the human being that requires us to be strict! May I assume that the Herr Section Chief has heard something about my most recent current efforts in this matter? . . And he now turned di- rectly to his host, who had heard nothing about the dispute as to whether the diminished responsibility of an insane criminal is based exclusively in his ideas or exclusively in his will, and thus hastened all the more politely to agree with everything Schwung said. Schwung, well satisfied with the effect he had produced, then began to praise the serious view of life to which this evening's gathering gave wit- ness, and reported that he had often overheard in conversations here and there such expressions as "manly severity. . and "moral sound- ness. . . "Our culture is far too infested with inferior types and moral imbeciles,. . he added by way of his own contribution, and asked: "But what is the real purpose of this evening? As I passed some of the groups, I've been struck by how often I've heard positively Rous- seauistic sentiments about the innate goodness of man. . .
Tuzzi, to whom this question was principally addressed, merely smiled, but just then the General came back to Ulrich, and Ulrich, who wanted to give him the slip, introduced him to Schwung and called him the man best qualified among all those present to answer the question. Stumm von Bordwehr vehemently denied this, but nei-
1094 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
ther Schwung nor even Tuzzi would let him go. Ulrich was already beating a jubilant retreat, when he was grabbed by an old acquaint- ance, who said:
"My wife and daughter are also here. " It was Bank Director Leo Fischel.
"Hans Sepp has passed his State Exam," he said. "What do you say to that? All he has to do now is pass one more exam for his doctorate! We're all sitting in that comer over there. . . . "He pointed toward the farthest room. "We know too few people here. Nor have we seen anything ofyou for a long time! Your father, wasn't it . . . ? Hans Sepp got us the invitation for this evening-my wife was dead set on it-so you see the fellow isn't entirely hopeless. They're semi-officially en- gaged now, he and Gerda. You probably didn't know that, did you? But Gerda, you see, that girl, I don't even know whether she's in love with him or has just got it into her head that she is. Won't you come over and join us for a bit? "
'Til be along later," Ulrich promised.
"Please do," Fischel urged, and fell silent. Then he whispered: "Isn't that our host? Won't you introduce me? We haven't had the opportunity. We don't know either him or her. "
But when Ulrich made a move in that direction, Fischel held him back. "And how is the great philosopher? What's he up to? " he asked. "My wife and Gerda are of course mad about him. But what's this about the oil fields? The word now is that it was a false rumor, but I don't believe it. They always deny it! You know, it's the same as when my wife is annoyed with a maid, then I keep hearing that the maid is untruthful, immoral, impertinent-nothing but defects of character, you see? But when I quietly promise the girl a raise, just to have peace in the house, then her character suddenly disappears. No more talk about character, everything's suddenly in order, and my wife doesn't know why. Isn't it always like that? There's too much economic probability in those oil fields for the denials to be be- lieved. "
And because Ulrich held his peace, while Fischel wanted to return to his wife as the glorious bearer of inside information, he began once more:
"One has to admit it's very nice here. But my wife would like to know what all the strange talk is about. And who is this Feuermaul
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anyway? " he added. "Gerda says he's a great poet; Hans Sepp says he's nothing but a careerist who's taken everyone in! "
Ulrich allowed that the truth probably lay somewhere in between.
"Now, that's well put! " Fischel said gratefully. "The truth always lies somewhere in between, which everyone forgets nowadays, they're all so extreme! I keep telling Hans Sepp that everyone's enti- tled to his opinions, but the only opinions that count are the ones that enable you to earn a living, because that means that other people appreciate your opinions too! "
There had been an impalpable but important change in Leo Fischel, but Ulrich unfortunately passed up the opportunity to look into it and merely hastened to leave Gerda's father with the group around Section Chief Tuzzi. Here Stumm von Bordwehr had mean- while grown eloquent, frustrated at his inability to pin Ulrich down, and so highly charged with things to say that they burst out by the shortest path.
"How to account for this gathering tonight? " he cried, reiterating Hofrat Schwung's question. "I would assert, in the same judicious spirit in which it was asked: Not at all! I'm not joking, gentlemen," he went on, not without a touch of pride. "This very afternoon I hap- pened to ask a young lady whom I had to show around the psychiatric clinic of our University what it was she was actually interested in see- ing, so we could explain it properly, and she gave me a very witty answer, exceptionally thought-provoking. What she said was: 'If we stop to explain everything, we will never change anything in the world. '"
Schwung shook his head in disapproval.
"What she meant by that I don't really know"-Stumm defended himself-"and I won't take responsibility for it, but you can't help feeling there is some truth in it. You see, I am, for instance, indebted to my friend here"-he gave a polite nod in Ulrich's direction- "who has so often given His Grace, and thereby the Parallel Cam- paign too, the benefit of his thoughts, for a great deal of instruction. But what is taking shape here tonight is a certain distaste for instruc- tion. Which brings me back to my first assertion. "
"But isn't what you want . . .
This somewhat incomplete final sentence was uttered so menac- ingly that there was no mistaking that he knew what he wanted, and
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Diotima obediently promised to hurry; but then she forgot again and did nothing.
And then one day Count Leinsdorf was seized by his well-known energy and drove straight to her door, propelled by forty horse- power.
"Has anything happened yet? " he asked, and Diotima had to admit that nothing had.
"Do you know the Inn River, my dear? " he asked.
Of course Diotima knew the Inn, second only to the Danube as Kakania's most famous river, richly interwoven with the country's ge- ography and history. She observed her visitor rather dubiously, while doing her best to smile.
But Count Leinsdorf was in deadly earnest. "Apart from Inns- brock," he said, "what ridiculous backwoods places all those little towns in the Inn Valley are, and what an imposing river the Inn is in our culture! And to think I never realized it before! " He shook his head. "You see, I happened by chance to look at a highway map today," he said, finally coming to the point, "and I noticed that the Inn rises in Switzerland. I must have known it before, of course, we all know it, but we never give it a thought. It rises at Majola, I've seen it there myself; a ridiculous little creek no wider than the Kamp or the Morava in our country. But what have the Swiss made ofit? The Engadine! The world-famous Engadine! The Engad-Inn, my dear! Has it ever occurred to you that the whole Engadine comes from the name Inn? That's what I hit upon today. While we, with our insuffer- able Austrian modesty, of course never make anything out of what belongs to us! "
After this chat Diotima hastened to arrange for the desired recep- tion, partly because she realized that she had to stand by Count Leinsdorf, and partly because she was afraid of driving her high- ranking friend to some extreme if she continued to refuse.
But when she gave him her promise, Leinsdorf said:
"And this time, I beg ofyou, dearest lady, don't fail to invite--er- that x you call Drangsal. Her friend Frau Wayden has been pestering me about this person for weeks, and won't leave me in peace! "
Diotima promised this too, although at other times she would have regarded putting up with her rival as a dereliction of duty to her country.
35
A GREAT EVENT IS IN THE MAKING. PRIVY COUNCILLOR MESERITSCHER
When the rooms were filled with the radiance of festive illumination and the assembled company, an observer could note among those present not only His Excellency, together with other leading mem- bers of the high aristocracy for whose appearance he had arranged, but also His Excellency the Minister of War, and in the latter's en- tourage the intensely intellectual, somewhat overworked head of General Stumm von Bordwehr. One observed Paul Arnheim (with- out the "Dr. ": simple and most effective; the observer had thought it over carefully-it's called "litotes," an artful understatement, like re- moving some trifle from one's body, as when a king removes a ring from his finger to place it on someone else's). Then one observed everyone worth mentioning from the various ministries (the Minister of Education and Culture had apologized to His Excellency in the Upper House for not coming in person; he had to go to Linz for the consecration of a great altar screen). Then one noted that the foreign embassies and legations had sent an "elite. " There were well-known names "from industry, art, and science," and a time-honored allegory of diligence lay in this invariable combination of three bourgeois ac- tivities, a combination that seized hold of the scribbling pen all by itself. That same adept pen then presented the ladies: beige, pink, cherry, cream . . . ; embroidered, draped, triple-tiered, or dropped from the waist. . . . Between Countess Adlitz and Frau Generaldirek- tor Weghuber was listed the well-known Frau Melanie Drangsal, widow of the world-famous surgeon, "in her own right a charming hostess, who provides in her house a hearth for the leading lights of our times. " Finally, listed separately at the end of this section, was the name of Ulrich von So-and-so and sister. The observer had hesi- tated about adding "whose name is widely associated with his selfless service on behalf of that high-minded and patriotic undertaking," or even "a coming man. " Word had gone around long since that one of
1081
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these days this protege of Count Leinsdorf was widely expected to involve his patron in some rash misstep, and the temptation to go on record early as someone in the know was great. However, the deep- est satisfaction for those in the know is always silence, especially when it proceeds from caution. It was to this that Ulrich and Agathe owed the mere mention of their names as stragglers, immediately preceding those leaders of society and the intelligentsia who are not named individually but simply destined for the mass grave of "all those of rank and station. " Many people fell into this category, among them the well-known professor of jurisprudence Councillor Herr Professor Schwung, who happened to be in the capital as a member of a government commission of inquiry, and also the young poet Friedel Feuermaul, for although his was known to be among the moving spirits behind this evening's gathering, that was a far cry from the more substantial significance of a title or the triumphs of haute couture. People such as Acting Bank Director Leo Fischel and family-who had won admittance thanks to Gerda's grueling efforts, without any help from Ulrich, in other words because of Diotima's momentarily flagging attention-were simply buried in the comer of one's eye. And the wife of an eminent jurist (who was well known but on such an occasion still below the threshold ofpublic notice), a lady whose name, Bonadea, was unknown even to the observer, was later exhumed for listing among the wearers of noteworthy gowns because her sensational looks aroused great admiration.
This impersonal seeing eye, the surveying curiosity of the public, was of course a person. There are usually quite a lot of them, but in the Kakanian metropolis at that time there was one who overtopped all the rest: Privy Councillor Meseritscher. Born in the Wallachian town of Meseritsch, whence his name, this publisher, editor, and news correspondent of the Parliamentary and Social Gazette, which he had founded in the sixties of the last century, had come to the capital as a young man, sacrificing his expectation of taking over his parents' tavern in his native town in order to become a journalist, having been attracted by the political promise of liberalism that was then at its zenith. And before long he had made his contribution to that era by founding a news agency, which began by supplying small local items of a police nature to the newspapers. Thanks to the indus- try, reliability, and thoroughness of its owner, this rudimentary
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1083
agency not only earned the esteem of the papers and the police but was soon noticed by other high authorities as well, and used by them for placing items they wanted to publicize without taking responsibil- ity, so that the agency soon found itself in a privileged position for tapping unofficial information from official sources. A man of great enterprise and a tireless worker, Meseritscher, as he saw this success developing, extended his activity to include news from the Court and Society; indeed, he would probably never have left Meseritsch for the capital if this had not been his guiding vision. Flawless reporting of "those present. . was regarded as his specialty. His memory for people and what was said about them was extraordinary, and this as- sured him of the same splendid relationship with the salon that he had with the prison. He knew Society better than it knew itself, and his unflagging devotion enabled him to make people who had met at a gathering properly acquainted with each other the very next morn- ing, like some old cavalier in whom everyone has for decades been confiding all their marriage plans and the problems they were having with their dressmakers. And so, on every sort of great occasion, the zealous, nimble, ever-obliging, affable little man was a familiar insti- tution, and in his later years it was only he and his presence that con- ferred indisputable prestige to such occasions.
Meseritscher's career had reached a peak when the title Privy Councillor was bestowed upon him, and this involves an interesting peculiarity. Kakania was the most peace-loving of countries, but at some time or other it had decided, in the profound innocence of its convictions, that, wars being a thing of the past, its civil service should be organized as a hierarchy corresponding to military ranks, complete with similar uniforms and insignia. Since then the rank of Privy Councillor corresponded to that of a lieutenant colonel in His Majesty's Imperial and Royal Army. But even though this was not in itself an exalted rank, the peculiarity was that according to an immu- table tradition, which, like everything immutable in Kakania, was modified only in exceptional cases, Meseritscher should really have been named an Imperial Councillor. An Imperial Councillor was not, as one might suppose from the term, superior to a Privy Council- lor, but inferior: it only corresponded to the rank of captain. Mese- ritscher should have been an Imperial Councillor because that title was given, other than to certain civil servants, only to those engaged
1084 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
in independent professions such as, for example, court barber or coach builder, and, by the same token, writers and artists; while Privy Councillor was at the time an actual high-ranking title in the civil service. That Meseritscher was nevertheless the first and only mem- ber of his profession to be so honored expressed something more than the high honor of the title itself-indeed, even more than the daily reminder not to take too seriously whatever happens in this country of ours; the unjustified title was a subtle and discreet way of assuring the indefatigable chronicler his close association with Court, State, and Society.
Meseritscher had been a model for many journalists in his time, and was on the boards of leading literary associations. The story also went around that he had had made for himself a uniform with a gold collar, but only put it on, sometimes, at home. Chances are the rumor was untrue, because deep down Meseritscher had always pre- served certain memories of the tavern trade in Meseritsch, and a good tavemkeeper also knows the secrets of all his guests but doesn't make use of everything he knows; he never brings his own opinions into a discussion but enjoys noting and telling everything in the way of fact, anecdote, or joke. And so Meseritscher, whom one met on every social occasion as the acknowledged memorializer of beautiful women and distinguished men, had himself never even thought of going to a good tailor; he knew all the behind-the-scenes intricacies of politics, yet had never dabbled in politics in even a single line of print; he knew about all the discoveries and inventions of his time without understanding any of them. He was perfectly satisfied to know that they existed and were "present. " He honestly loved his time, and his time reciprocated his affection to a certain degree, be- cause he daily reported its presence to the world.
When Diotima caught sight of him as he entered, she immediately beckoned him to her side.
"My dear Meseritscher," she said, as sweetly as she knew how. "You surely didn't take His Excellency's speech in the Upper House today as an expression of our position-you couldn't have taken it literally? "
His Excellency, in the context ofthe Minister's downfall and exas- perated by his cares, had made a widely noticed speech in the Upper House in which he not only charged his victim with having failed to
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1085
show the true constructive spirit of cooperation and strictness of principle, but also let his zeal carry him to making general observa- tions that in some inexplicable fashion culminated in a recognition of the importance of the press, in which he reproached this "institution risen to the status of a world power" with pretty much everything with which a feudal-minded, independent, nonpartisan, Christian gentleman could charge an institution that in his view is the dead opposite of himself. It was this that Diotima was diplomatically trying to smooth over, and Meseritscher listened pensively as she found in- creasingly fine and unintelligible language for Count Leinsdorf's real point of view. Then suddenly he laid a hand on her arm and mag- nanimously interrupted her:
"My dear lady, how can you upset yourself like this? " he summed up. "His Excellency is a good friend to us, isn't he? What if he did exaggerate? Why shouldn't he, a gallant gentleman like him? " And to prove that his relationship to the Count was unruffled, he added: 'Til just go and greet him now! "
That was Meseritscher! But before he moved off he turned to Di- otima once more and asked confidentially:
'What about Feuermaul, dear lady? "
Smiling, Diotima shrugged her beautiful shoulders. "Nothing so very earthshaking, my dear Councillor. We wouldn't like it to be said that we rebuffed anyone who came to us in good faith! "
"Good faith-that's rich," Meseritscher thought on his way to Count Leinsdorf. But before he reached him, indeed even before his thoughts had reached a conclusion, his host stepped amicably into his path.
"My dear Meseritscher, my official sources have let me down again," Section Chief Tuzzi began with a smile. "So I'm turning to you as our semi-official source of information. Can you tell me any- thing about this Feuermaul who's here this evening? "
'What would I have to tell you, Herr Section Chief? " Mese- ritscher deprecated.
''I'm told he's a genius. "
"Glad to hear it! " Meseritscher answered.
If the news is to be reported with speed and confidence, today's
news should not be too different from yesterday's, or what one knows already. Even genius is no exception: real, acknowledged genius, that
1086 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
is, whose significance can be readily assessed in its own time. Not so the genius that is not instantly recognized by all and sundry! This sort of genius has something distinctly ungenial about it, a quality, more- over, that is not even solely its own, so that it is possible to misjudge it in every respect. Privy Councillor Meseritscher had a solid inventory of geniuses, which he tended with care and attention, but he was not keen on adding new items. The older and more experienced he grew, in fact, the more he had even formed the habit of regarding any ris- ing artistic genius, especially in his neighboring field of literature, merely as a frivolous interference with his own work of reportage, and he hated it in all righteousness until it became ripe for inclusion in his lists of"those present. " At that time Feuermaul still had a long way to go, and his way had yet to be smoothed for him. Privy Coun- cillor Meseritscher was not quite sure he was in favor.
"They say he's supposed to be a great poet," Tuzzi repeated hesi- tantly, and Meseritscher retorted firmly: "Who says so? The critics on the book page? I ask you, Section Chief, what difference does that make? The specialists say these things, and what of it? Many of them say the opposite. We've even known the same experts to say one thing one day and something else the next. Does it really matter what they say? A real literary reputation has to have reached the illiterates; only then can you depend on it! Would you like to know what I think? What a great man does, apart from his arriving and leaving, is nobody's business! "
He had worked himself up into a gloomy fervor, and his eyes were glued to Tuzzi's. Tuzzi gave up and said nothing.
"What's really going on here this evening, Section Chief? " Mese- ritscher asked him.
Tuzzi smiled absently and shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing. Nothing, really. A little ambition. Have you ever read any of Feuer- maul's books? "
"I know what he writes about: peace, friendship, goodness, et cetera. "
"So you don't think too much of him? " Tuzzi said.
"Good Lord! " Meseritscher started wriggling. "Who am I to say . . . ? " At this point Frau Drangsal came bearing down on them, and Tuzzi had to take a courteous step or two in her direction. Mese- ritscher saw the chance to slip into a breach he had espied in the
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1087
circle around Count Leinsdorf, and seizing it before anyone else could waylay him, he dropped anchor beside His Grace.
Count Leinsdorf was talking with the Minister and some other men, but as soon as Meseritscher had paid them all his devout re- spects, His Grace turned slightly and drew him aside.
"Meseritscher," he said intently. "Promise me that there will be no misunderstandings; the gentlemen of the press never seem to know what to write. Now then: Nothing whatsoever has changed in our position since the last time. Something may change. We don't know about that. For the time being there must be no interference. So please, even if one of your colleagues should ask you, remember that this whole evening here is nothing more than a private party given by Frau Tuzzi. . "
Meseritscher's eyelids slowly and solicitously conveyed that he had understood these top-level commands. And since one confidence deserves another, he moistened his lips, which then gleamed as his eyes should have done, and asked: "And what about Feuermaul, Your Excellency, if I may be permitted to ask? "
"Why on earth shouldn't you? " Count Leinsdorf replied in sur- prise. "There's nothing whatever to be said about Feuermaul! He was invited because Baroness Wayden wouldn't leave us in peace until he was! What else should there be? Perhaps you know some- thing? "
Up to this point Privy Councillor Meseritscher had not been in- clined to take the Feuermaul question too seriously, but regarded it as one ofthe many social rivalries he ran into every day. But now that even Count Leinsdorf denied so energetically that there was any- thing in it, Meseritscher had to think again, and came to the conclu- sion that something important was in the wind. "What can they be up to now? " he brooded as he wandered through the throng, pondering one by one the most daring possibilities of domestic and foreign pol- icy. But after a while he decided abruptly: "There's probably nothing to it," and refused to let himself be distracted any longer from his job of reporting the news.
For however much it appeared to be in conflict with his mission in life, Meseritscher did not believe in great events; indeed, he did not hold with them. When one believes that one is living in a very impor- tant, very splendid, and very great period, one does not welcome the
1o88 · THE MAN WITH0UT QUALITIES
idea that anything especially important, splendid, and great has yet to happen in it. Meseritscher was no alpinist, but if he had been he would have said that his attitude was as correct as it was to put look- out towers on middling-high mountains but never on the really high peaks. Since such analogies did not occur to him, it was enough to register a certain uneasiness and make up his mind that he would not mention Feuermaul in his column at all, not even by name.
A GREAT EVENT IS IN THE MAKING. MEETING SOME OLD ACQUAINTANCES
Ulrich, who had been standing beside his cousin while she was speaking with Meseritscher, asked her as soon as they were alone for a moment:
''I'm sorry I arrived too late; how was your first encounter with La Drangsal? "
Diotima raised her heavy eyelashes to give him a single world- weary glance and dropped them again.
"Delightful, of course. She'd been to see me. We'll arrange some- thing or other this evening. As ifit made any difference! "
"You see! " Ulrich said, in the tone of their old conversations, as if to draw a final line under all that.
Diotima turned her head and gave her cousin a quizzical look.
"I told you already," Ulrich said. "Now it's almost all over, as if nothing had happened. " He needed to talk: when he had got home that afternoon, Agathe had been there but soon left again; they had spoken only a few brief words before they came to Diotima's; Agathe had dressed with the aid of the gardener's wife. "I did warn you! " Ulrich said.
"Against what? " Diotima asked slowly. "Oh, I don't know. Against everything! "
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In fact, he no longer knew himself what he had not warned her against: her ideas, her ambition, the Parallel Campaign, love, intel- lect, the Jubilee Year, the world of business, her salon, her passions; against the dangers of sensibility and of casually letting things take their course, against letting herself go too far and holding herself too much in check, against adultery and marriage. There was nothing he had not warned her against. "That's how she is," he thought. Every- thing she did looked ridiculous to him, yet she was so beautiful it made him sad.
"I warned you," Ulrich repeated. "I hear that you're no longer in- terested in anything but the scientific approach to sexual problems. " Diotima ignored this. "Do you think this Drangsal's protege is re-
ally gifted? " she asked.
"Certainly," Ulrich replied. "Gifted, young, undeveloped. His suc-
cess and this woman will be the ruin ofhim. In this country newborn babies are ruined by being told that they are people with fabulous instincts that intellectual development would only rob them of. He sometimes comes up with good ideas, but can't let ten minutes go by without making an ass of himself.
" He leaned over to say in her ear: "Do you know anything specific about that woman? ''
Diotima shook her head almost imperceptibly.
"She's dangerously ambitious," Ulrich said. "But not uninteresting from the point of view of your current researches. Where beautiful women used to wear a fig leaf, she wears a laurelleafl I hate women like that! "
Diotima did not laugh, nor even smile; she merely inclined her head toward the "cousin. "
"And how do you find him as a man? '' he asked.
"Pathetic," Diotima whispered. "Like a lambkin running to pre- mature fat. "
"What of it? The beauty of the male is only a secondary sexual characteristic," Ulrich said. "What's primarily exciting about him is the expectation of his success. Ten years from now Feuermaul will be an international celebrity; Drangsal's connections will take care of that, and then she'll marry him. If he remains a celebrity, it'll be a happy marriage. "
Diotima bethought herself and gravely corrected him: "Happiness in marriage depends on factors one cannot judge without first sub-
1090 · THE-MAN WITH0 UT QUALITIES
jecting oneself to a certain discipline! " Then she abandoned him as a proud ship abandons the quay alongside which it has lain. Her duties as hostess bore her away from him with the barest nod, not even a glance, as she cast off her moorings. But she did not mean it un- kindly; on the contrary, Ulrich's voice had affected her like an old tune from her youth. She even wondered privately what she might learn about him by subjecting his sexuality to the illumination of a scientific study. Oddly enough, in all her detailed research into these problems, she had never thought of connecting them with him.
Ulrich looked up, and through a gap in the festive tumult-a kind of optical channel through which Diotima's gaze might have pre- ceded his own just before she had taken her somewhat abrupt depar- ture-he saw, in the room beyond the next, Paul Arnheim in conversation with Feuermaul, with Frau Drangsal standing benignly by. She had brought the two men together. Arnheim was holding the hand with the cigar raised, as though in an unconscious gesture of self-defense, but he was smiling most engagingly; Feuermaul was talking vivaciously, holding his cigar with two fingers and sucking at it between sentences with the greed of a calf butting its muzzle at the maternal udder. Ulrich could have imagined what they were talking about, but he didn't bother; he stayed where he was, in happy isola- tion, looking around for his sister. He discovered her in a group of men who were mostly strangers to him, and a cool chill ran through him despite his distractedness. But just then Stumm von Bordwehr poked him gently in the ribs with a fingertip, and at the same mo- ment Hofrat Professor Schwung approached him on the other side but was stopped a few steps away by the intervention of one of his colleagues from the capital.
"So there you are at last! " the General murmured in relief. "The Minister wants to know what an 'ethos' is. "
''Why an ethos? "
"I don't know. What's an ethos? "
"An eternal truth," Ulrich defined, "that is neither eternal nor
true, but valid for a time to serve as a standard for people to go by. It's a philosophical and sociological term, and not often used. "
"Aha, that'll be it," the General said. "Arnheim, you see, was claiming that the proposition 'Man is good' is only an ethos. Feuer- maul replied that he didn't know what an ethos was, but man is good,
Into the Millennium (The Criminals) · 1 0 9 1
and that's an eternal truth! Then Leinsdorf said, 'Quite right. There can't really be any evil people, since no one can possibly will evil; these people are only misguided. People are rather nervous these days because in times like these we have so many skeptics who won't believe in anything solid. ' I couldn't help thinking he should have been with us this afternoon. Anyway, he also thinks that people who won't realize what's good for them have to be forced to. And so the Minister wants to know what an ethos is. rll just dash over to him and come right back. Don't budge, so I can find you again! There's some- thing else I must talk with you about, urgently, and then rll take you to the Minister. "
Before Ulrich could ask for particulars, Tuzzi slipped a hand around his arm in passing, saying: 'We haven't seen you here in ages! " Then he went on: "Do you remember my prediction that we'd have a pacifist invasion to deal with? " So saying, he gazed cordially into the General's eyes, but Stumm was in a hurry and merely said that though his ethos as an officer was of another kind, any sincere conviction . . . The rest of this sentence vanished with him, because he always found Tuzzi irritating, which is not conducive to good thinking.
The Section Chief blinked gaily at the General's retreating form and then turned back to the "cousin. " "That business with the oil fields is only a blind, of course," he said.
Ulrich looked at him in surprise.
"You don't mean to say you haven't heard about the oil fields? " Tuzzi asked.
"I have," Ulrich answered. "I was merely surprised that you knew about them," and, not to be impolite, added, "You really understood how to keep quiet about it! "
''I've known about them for quite some time," Tuzzi said, flat- tered. "That this fellow Feuermaul is here this evening is of course Arnheim's doing, bywayofLeinsdorf. Have you read his books, inci- dentally? "
Ulrich admitted that he had.
"A dyed-in-the-wool pacifist! " Tuzzi said. "And La Drangsal, as my wife calls her, mothers him so ambitiously that she'll kill for paci- fism if she has to, even though it's not really her line-artists are her line. " Tuzzi paused to consider, then revealed to Ulrich: "Pacifism is
1092 • THE MAN WITH0 UT QUALITIES
the main thing, of course; the oil fields are only a red herring; that's why they're pushing Feuermaul, with his pacifi. sm, to make everyone think: 'Aha, that's the red herring! ' and believe that what's behind it is the oil fields! Neatly done, but much too clever to fool anybody. For ifArnheim has the Galician oil fields and a contract to supply the Army, we naturally have to protect our frontier. W e also have to in- stall oil bases for the Navy on the Adriatic, which will upset the Ital- ians. But ifwe provoke our neighbors this way, the outcry for peace goes up, and so does the peace propaganda, and then when the Czar steps fotward with some idea about Perpetual Peace, he'll flnd the ground psychologically prepared for it. That's Arnheim's real objective! "
"And you've something against it? "
"Of course we have nothing against it," Tuzzi said. "But as you may remember, I've already explained to you why there's nothing so dangerous as peace at any price. We must defend ourselves against the dilettantes! "
"But Arnheim is a munitions maker! " Ulrich objected, smiling.
"Of course he is! " Tuzzi murmured with some exasperation. "For heaven's sake, how can you be so nai've about these things? He'll have his contract in his pocket. At most, our neighbors will arm too. Mark my words: at the crucial moment, he'll show his hand as a paci- fist! Pacifi. sm is a safe, dependable business for munitions makers; war is a risk! "
"It seems to me the military doesn't really mean any harm," Ulrich said, trying to mollify him. "They're only using the business with Arnheim to bring their artillery up-to-date, nothing more. Today the whole world is only arming for peace, after all, so it only seems right to let the pacifi. sts help. "
"And how do these people imagine that's to be done? " Tuzzi in- quired, ignoring the joke.
"I don't think they've got that far yet; for the present they're still searching their hearts. "
"Naturally! " Tuzzi agreed crossly, as though this were just what he had expected. "The military ought to stick to thinking about war and leave everything else to the department responsible. But before doing that, these gentlemen with their dilettantism would rather en- danger the whole world! I tell you again: Nothing is so dangerous in
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diplomacy as loose talk about peace! Every time the demand for peace has reached a certain pitch and was no longer to be contained, it's led straight to war! I can document that for you! . .
Now Hofrat Professor Schwung had rid himself of his colleague and turned with great warmth to Ulrich for an introduction to their host. Ulrich obliged with the remark that one might say that this dis- tinguished jurist condemned pacifism in the sphere of the penal code as ardently as the authoritative Section Chief did in the political arena.
"But good gracious,. . Tuzzi protested, laughing, "you've misun- derstood me entirely! . .
And Schwung too, after a moment's hesitation, was sufficiently re- assured to join forces with him, saying that he would not like his view of diminished responsibility to be regarded as in any way bloodthirsty or inhumane.
"Quite the opposite! . . he said, spreading his voice in place of his arms like an old actor on the lecture platform. "It is precisely the pacification of the human being that requires us to be strict! May I assume that the Herr Section Chief has heard something about my most recent current efforts in this matter? . . And he now turned di- rectly to his host, who had heard nothing about the dispute as to whether the diminished responsibility of an insane criminal is based exclusively in his ideas or exclusively in his will, and thus hastened all the more politely to agree with everything Schwung said. Schwung, well satisfied with the effect he had produced, then began to praise the serious view of life to which this evening's gathering gave wit- ness, and reported that he had often overheard in conversations here and there such expressions as "manly severity. . and "moral sound- ness. . . "Our culture is far too infested with inferior types and moral imbeciles,. . he added by way of his own contribution, and asked: "But what is the real purpose of this evening? As I passed some of the groups, I've been struck by how often I've heard positively Rous- seauistic sentiments about the innate goodness of man. . .
Tuzzi, to whom this question was principally addressed, merely smiled, but just then the General came back to Ulrich, and Ulrich, who wanted to give him the slip, introduced him to Schwung and called him the man best qualified among all those present to answer the question. Stumm von Bordwehr vehemently denied this, but nei-
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ther Schwung nor even Tuzzi would let him go. Ulrich was already beating a jubilant retreat, when he was grabbed by an old acquaint- ance, who said:
"My wife and daughter are also here. " It was Bank Director Leo Fischel.
"Hans Sepp has passed his State Exam," he said. "What do you say to that? All he has to do now is pass one more exam for his doctorate! We're all sitting in that comer over there. . . . "He pointed toward the farthest room. "We know too few people here. Nor have we seen anything ofyou for a long time! Your father, wasn't it . . . ? Hans Sepp got us the invitation for this evening-my wife was dead set on it-so you see the fellow isn't entirely hopeless. They're semi-officially en- gaged now, he and Gerda. You probably didn't know that, did you? But Gerda, you see, that girl, I don't even know whether she's in love with him or has just got it into her head that she is. Won't you come over and join us for a bit? "
'Til be along later," Ulrich promised.
"Please do," Fischel urged, and fell silent. Then he whispered: "Isn't that our host? Won't you introduce me? We haven't had the opportunity. We don't know either him or her. "
But when Ulrich made a move in that direction, Fischel held him back. "And how is the great philosopher? What's he up to? " he asked. "My wife and Gerda are of course mad about him. But what's this about the oil fields? The word now is that it was a false rumor, but I don't believe it. They always deny it! You know, it's the same as when my wife is annoyed with a maid, then I keep hearing that the maid is untruthful, immoral, impertinent-nothing but defects of character, you see? But when I quietly promise the girl a raise, just to have peace in the house, then her character suddenly disappears. No more talk about character, everything's suddenly in order, and my wife doesn't know why. Isn't it always like that? There's too much economic probability in those oil fields for the denials to be be- lieved. "
And because Ulrich held his peace, while Fischel wanted to return to his wife as the glorious bearer of inside information, he began once more:
"One has to admit it's very nice here. But my wife would like to know what all the strange talk is about. And who is this Feuermaul
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anyway? " he added. "Gerda says he's a great poet; Hans Sepp says he's nothing but a careerist who's taken everyone in! "
Ulrich allowed that the truth probably lay somewhere in between.
"Now, that's well put! " Fischel said gratefully. "The truth always lies somewhere in between, which everyone forgets nowadays, they're all so extreme! I keep telling Hans Sepp that everyone's enti- tled to his opinions, but the only opinions that count are the ones that enable you to earn a living, because that means that other people appreciate your opinions too! "
There had been an impalpable but important change in Leo Fischel, but Ulrich unfortunately passed up the opportunity to look into it and merely hastened to leave Gerda's father with the group around Section Chief Tuzzi. Here Stumm von Bordwehr had mean- while grown eloquent, frustrated at his inability to pin Ulrich down, and so highly charged with things to say that they burst out by the shortest path.
"How to account for this gathering tonight? " he cried, reiterating Hofrat Schwung's question. "I would assert, in the same judicious spirit in which it was asked: Not at all! I'm not joking, gentlemen," he went on, not without a touch of pride. "This very afternoon I hap- pened to ask a young lady whom I had to show around the psychiatric clinic of our University what it was she was actually interested in see- ing, so we could explain it properly, and she gave me a very witty answer, exceptionally thought-provoking. What she said was: 'If we stop to explain everything, we will never change anything in the world. '"
Schwung shook his head in disapproval.
"What she meant by that I don't really know"-Stumm defended himself-"and I won't take responsibility for it, but you can't help feeling there is some truth in it. You see, I am, for instance, indebted to my friend here"-he gave a polite nod in Ulrich's direction- "who has so often given His Grace, and thereby the Parallel Cam- paign too, the benefit of his thoughts, for a great deal of instruction. But what is taking shape here tonight is a certain distaste for instruc- tion. Which brings me back to my first assertion. "
"But isn't what you want . . .
