No More Learning

Quick_.
FATHER PAUL _Mr. Mahon_.
FATHER FRANCIS _Mr. Fox_.
FATHER AUGUSTINE _Mr. Baker_.
LOPEZ _Mr. Wewitzer_.
DONNA LOUISA _Mrs. Mattocks_.
DONNA CLARA _Mrs. Cargill_.
THE DUENNA _Mrs. Green_.

Masqueraders, Friars, Porter, Maid, _and_ Servants.

SCENE--SEVILLE.




ACT I.

SCENE I. --_The Street before_ DON JEROME'S _House_.


_Enter_ LOPEZ, _with a dark lantern_.

_Lop_. Past three o'clock! --Soh! a notable hour for one of my regular
disposition, to be strolling like a bravo through the streets of
Seville! Well, of all services, to serve a young lover is the
hardest. --Not that I am an enemy to love; but my love and my master's
differ strangely. --Don Ferdinand is much too gallant to eat, drink, or
sleep:--now my love gives me an appetite--then I am fond of dreaming
of my mistress, and I love dearly to toast her. --This cannot be done
without good sleep and good liquor: hence my partiality to a feather-
bed and a bottle. What a pity, now, that I have not further time, for
reflections! but my master expects thee, honest Lopez, to secure his
retreat from Donna Clara's window, as I guess. --[_Music without_. ]
Hey! sure, I heard music! So, so! Who have we here? Oh, Don Antonio,
my master's friend, come from the masquerade, to serenade my young
mistress, Donna Louisa, I suppose: so! we shall have the old gentleman
up presently. --Lest he should miss his son, I had best lose no time in
getting to my post. [_Exit_. ]


_Enter_ DON ANTONIO, _with_ MASQUERADERS _and music_.

SONG. --_Don Ant_.

Tell me, my lute, can thy soft strain
So gently speak thy master's pain?
So softly sing, so humbly sigh,
That, though my sleeping love shall know
Who sings--who sighs below,
Her rosy slumbers shall not fly?
Thus, may some vision whisper more
Than ever I dare speak before.

_I. Mas_. Antonio, your mistress will never wake, while you sing so
dolefully; love, like a cradled infant, is lulled by a sad melody.

_Don Ant_. I do not wish to disturb her rest.

_I. Mas_. The reason is, because you know she does not regard you
enough to appear, if you awaked her.

_Don Ant_. Nay, then, I'll convince you. [_Sings_. ]

The breath of morn bids hence the night,
Unveil those beauteous eyes, my fair;
For till the dawn of love is there,
I feel no day, I own no light.

DONNA LOUISA--_replies from a window_.

Waking, I heard thy numbers chide,
Waking, the dawn did bless my sight;
'Tis Phoebus sure that woos, I cried,
Who speaks in song, who moves in light.

DON JEROME--_from a window_.

What vagabonds are these I hear,
Fiddling, fluting, rhyming, ranting,
Piping, scraping, whining, canting?
Fly, scurvy minstrels, fly!

TRIO.

_Don. Louisa_.
Nay, prithee, father, why so rough?

_Don Ant_.
An humble lover I.

_Don Jer_.
How durst you, daughter, lend an ear
To such deceitful stuff?
Quick, from the window fly!

_Don. Louisa_
Adieu, Antonio!

_Don Ant_
Must you go?

_Don. Louisa_. & _Don Ant_.
We soon, perhaps, may meet again.
For though hard fortune is our foe,
The God of love will fight for us.

_Don Jer_.
Reach me the blunderbuss.

_Don Ant_. & _Don. Louisa_.
The god of love, who knows our pain--

_Don Jer_.
Hence, or these slugs are through your brain.

[_Exeunt severally_. ]




SCENE II--_A Piazza_.

_Enter_ DON FERDINAND _and_ LOPEZ.

_Lop_. Truly, sir, I think that a little sleep once in a week or so---

_Don Ferd_. Peace, fool! don't mention sleep to me.

_Lop_. No, no, sir, I don't mention your lowbred, vulgar, sound sleep;
but I can't help thinking that a gentle slumber, or half an hour's
dozing, if it were only for the novelty of the thing----

_Don Ferd_. Peace, booby, I say! --Oh, Clara dear, cruel disturber of
my rest!

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ] And of mine too.

_Don Ferd_. 'Sdeath, to trifle with me at such a juncture as this! --
now to stand on punctilios! --Love me! I don't believe she ever did.

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ] Nor I either.

_Don Ferd_. Or is it, that her sex never know their desires for an
hour together?

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ] Ah, they know them oftener than they'll own them.

_Don Ferd_. Is there, in the world, so inconsistent a creature as
Clara?

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ] I could name one.

_Don Ferd_. Yes; the tame fool who submits to her caprice.

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ]I thought he couldn't miss it.

_Don Ferd_. Is she not capricious, teasing, tyrannical, obstinate,
perverse, absurd? ay, a wilderness of faults and follies; her looks
are scorn, and her very smiles--'Sdeath! I wish I hadn't mentioned her
smiles; for she does smile such beaming loveliness, such fascinating
brightness--Oh, death and madness! I shall die if I lose her.

_Lop_. [_Aside_. ] Oh, those damned smiles have undone all!

AIR--_Don Ferd_.

Could I her faults remember,
Forgetting every charm,
Soon would impartial reason
The tyrant love disarm:
But when enraged I number
Each failing of her mind,
Love still suggests each beauty,
And sees--while reason's blind.

_Lop_. Here comes Don Antonio, sir.

_Don Ferd_. Well, go you home--I shall be there presently.

_Lop_. Ah, those cursed smiles! [_Exit_. ]

_Enter_ DON ANTONIO.

_Don Ferd_. Antonio, Lopez tells me he left you chanting before our
door--was my father waked?

_Don Ant_. Yes, yes; he has a singular affection for music; so I left
him roaring at his barred window, like the print of Bajazet in the
cage. And what brings you out so early?

_Don Ferd_. I believe I told you, that to-morrow was the day fixed by
Don Pedro and Clara's unnatural step-mother, for her to enter a
convent, in order that her brat might possess her fortune: made
desperate by this, I procured a key to the door, and bribed Clara's
maid to leave it unbolted; at two this morning, I entered unperceived,
and stole to her chamber--I found her waking and weeping.

_Don Ant_. Happy Ferdinand!

_Don Ferd_. 'Sdeath! hear the conclusion. --I was rated as the most
confident ruffian, for daring to approach her room at that hour of the
night.

_Don Ant_. Ay, ay, this was at first.

_Don Ferd_. No such thing! she would not hear a word from me, but
threatened to raise her mother, if I did not instantly leave her.

_Don Ant_. Well, but at last?

_Don Ferd_. At last! why I was forced to leave the house as I came in.

_Don Ant_. And did you do nothing to offend her?

_Don Ferd_. Nothing, as I hope to be saved! --I believe, I might snatch
a dozen or two of kisses.

_Don Ant_. Was that all? well, I think, I never heard of such
assurance!

_Don Ferd_. Zounds! I tell you I behaved with the utmost respect.

_Don Ant_. O Lord! I don't mean you, but in her. But, hark ye,
Ferdinand, did you leave your key with them?

_Don Ferd_. Yes; the maid who saw me out, took it from the door.

_Don Ant_. Then, my life for it, her mistress elopes after you.

_Don Ferd_. Ay, to bless my rival, perhaps. I am in a humour to
suspect everybody. --You loved her once, and thought her an angel, as I
do now.

_Don Ant_. Yes, I loved her, till I found she wouldn't love me, and
then I discovered that she hadn't a good feature in her face.

AIR.

I ne'er could any lustre see
In eyes that would not look on me;
I ne'er saw nectar on a lip,
But where my own did hope to sip.
Has the maid who seeks my heart
Cheeks of rose, untouch'd by art?
I will own the colour true,
When yielding blushes aid their hue.

Is her hand so soft and pure?
I must press it, to be sure;
Nor can I be certain then,
Till it, grateful, press again.
Must I, with attentive eye,
Watch her heaving bosom sigh?
I will do so, when I see
That heaving bosom sigh for me.

Besides, Ferdinand, you have full security in my love for your sister;
help me there, and I can never disturb you with Clara.

_Don Ferd_.
As far as I can, consistently with the honour of our
family, you know I will; but there must be no eloping.

_Don Ant_. And yet, now, you would carry off Clara?

_Don Ferd_. Ay, that's a different case! --we never mean that others
should act to our sisters and wives as we do to others'. --But, to-
morrow, Clara is to be forced into a convent.

_Don Ant_. Well, and am not I so unfortunately circumstanced? To-
morrow, your father forces Louisa to marry Isaac, the Portuguese--but
come with me, and we'll devise something I warrant.

_Don Ferd_. I must go home.

_Don Ant_. Well, adieu!

_Don Ferd_. But, Don Antonio, if you did not love my sister, you have
too much honour and friendship to supplant me with Clara--

AIR--_Don Ant_.

Friendship is the bond of reason;
But if beauty disapprove,
Heaven dissolves all other treason
In the heart that's true to love.

The faith which to my friend I swore,
As a civil oath I view;
But to the charms which I adore,
'Tis religion to be true. [_Exit_. ]

_Don Ferd_. There is always a levity in Antonio's manner of replying
to me on this subject that is very alarming. --'Sdeath, if Clara should
love him after all.

SONG.

Though cause for suspicion appears,
Yet proofs of her love, too, are strong;
I'm a wretch if I'm right in my fears,
And unworthy of bliss if I'm wrong.
What heart-breaking torments from jealousy flow,
Ah! none but the jealous--the jealous can know!

When blest with the smiles of my fair,
I know not how much I adore:
Those smiles let another but share,
And I wonder I prized them no more!
Then whence can I hope a relief from my woe,
When the falser she seems, still the fonder I grow? [_Exit_. ]




SCENE III. --_A Room in_ DON JEROME'S _House_.

_Enter_ DONNA LOUISA _and_ DUENNA.


_Don. Louisa_. But, my dear Margaret, my charming Duenna, do you think
we shall succeed?

_Duen_. I tell you again, I have no doubt on't; but it must be
instantly put to the trial. Everything is prepared in your room, and
for the rest we must trust to fortune.

_Don. Louisa_. My father's oath was, never to see me till I had
consented to----

_Duen_. 'Twas thus I overheard him say to his friend, Don Guzman,--_I
will demand of her to-morrow, once for all, whether she will consent
to marry Isaac Mendoza; if she hesitates, I will make a solemn oath
never to see or speak to her till she returns to her duty_. --These
were his words.

_Don. Louisa_. And on his known obstinate adherence to what he has
once said, you have formed this plan for my escape. --But have you
secured my maid in our interest?

_Duen_. She is a party in the whole; but remember, if we succeed, you
resign all right and title in little Isaac, the Jew, over to me.

_Don. Louisa_. That I do with all my soul; get him if you can, and I
shall wish you joy most heartily. He is twenty times as rich as my
poor Antonio.

AIR.
Thou canst not boast of fortune's store,
My love, while me they wealthy call:
But I was glad to find thee poor--
For with my heart I'd give thee all.
And then the grateful youth shall own
I loved him for himself alone.

But when his worth my hand shall gain,
No word or look of mine shall show
That I the smallest thought retain
Of what my bounty did bestow;
Yet still his grateful heart shall own
I loved him for himself alone.

_Duen_. I hear Don Jerome coming. --Quick, give me the last letter I
brought you from Antonio--you know that is to be the ground of my
dismission. --I must slip out to seal it up, as undelivered. [_Exit_. ]


_Enter_ DON JEROME _and_ DON FERDINAND.

_Don Jer_. What, I suppose you have been serenading too! Eh,
disturbing some peaceable neighbourhood with villainous catgut and
lascivious piping! Out on't! you set your sister, here, a vile
example; but I come to tell you, madam, that I'll suffer no more of
these midnight incantations--these amorous orgies, that steal the
senses in the hearing; as, they say, Egyptian embalmers serve mummies,
extracting the brain through the ears. However, there's an end of your
frolics. --Isaac Mendoza will be here presently, and to-morrow you
shall marry him.

_Don. Louisa_. Never, while I have life!

_Don Ferd_. Indeed, sir, I wonder how you can think of such a man for
a son-in-law.

_Don Jer_. Sir, you are very kind to favour me with your sentiments--
and pray, what is your objection to him?

_Don Ferd_. He is a Portuguese, in the first place.

_Don Jer_. No such thing, boy; he has forsworn his country.

_Don. Louisa_. He is a Jew.

_Don Jer_. Another mistake: he has been a Christian these six weeks.

_Don Ferd_. Ay, he left his old religion for an estate, and has not
had time to get a new one.

_Don. Louisa_. But stands like a dead wall between church and
synagogue, or like the blank leaves between the Old and New Testament.

_Don Jer_. Anything more?

_Don Ferd_. But the most remarkable part of his character is his
passion for deceit and tricks of cunning.

_Don. Louisa_. Though at the same time the fool predominates so much
over the knave, that I am told he is generally the dupe of his own
art.

_Don Ferd_. True; like an unskilful gunner, he usually misses his aim,
and is hurt by the recoil of his own piece.

_Don Jer_. Anything more?

_Don. Louisa_. To sum up all, he has the worst fault a husband can
have--he's not my choice.

_Don Jer_. But you are his; and choice on one side is sufficient--two
lovers should never meet in marriage--be you sour as you please, he is
sweet-tempered; and for your good fruit, there's nothing like
ingrafting on a crab.

_Don. Louisa_. I detest him as a lover, and shall ten times more as a
husband.

_Don Jer_. I don't know that-marriage generally makes a great change--
but, to cut the matter short, will you have him or not?

_Don. Louisa_. There is nothing else I could disobey you in.

_Don Jer_. Do you value your father's peace?

_Don. Louisa_. So much, that I will not fasten on him the regret of
making an only daughter wretched.

_Don Jer_. Very well, ma'am, then mark me--never more will I see or
converse with you till you return to your duty--no reply--this and
your chamber shall be your apartments; I never will stir out without
leaving you under lock and key, and when I'm at home no creature can
approach you but through my library: we'll try who can be most
obstinate. Out of my sight! --there remain till you know your duty.
[_Pushes her out_. ]

Don Ferd_. Surely, sir, my sister's inclinations should be consulted
in a matter of this kind, and some regard paid to Don Antonio, being
my particular friend.

_Don Jer_. That, doubtless, is a very great recommendation! --I
certainly have not paid sufficient respect to it.

_Don Ferd_. There is not a man living I would sooner choose for a
brother-in-law.

_Don Jer_. Very possible; and if you happen to have e'er a sister, who
is not at the same time a daughter of mine, I'm sure I shall have no
objection to the relationship; but at present, if you please, we'll
drop the subject.

_Don Ferd_. Nay, sir, 'tis only my regard for my sister makes me
speak.

_Don Jer_. Then, pray sir, in future, let your regard for your father
make you hold your tongue.

_Don Ferd_. I have done, sir. I shall only add a wish that you would
reflect what at our age you would have felt, had you been crossed in
your affection for the mother of her you are so severe to.

_Don Jer_. Why, I must confess I had a great affection for your
mother's ducats, but that was all, boy. I married her for her fortune,
and she took me in obedience to her father, and a very happy couple we
were. We never expected any love from one another, and so we were
never disappointed. If we grumbled a little now and then, it was soon
over, for we were never fond enough to quarrel; and when the good
woman died, why, why,--I had as lieve she had lived, and I wish every
widower in Seville could say the same. I shall now go and get the key
of this dressing-room--so, good son, if you have any lecture in
support of disobedience to give your sister, it must be brief; so make
the best of your time, d'ye hear? [_Exit_. ]

_Don Ferd_. I fear, indeed, my friend Antonio has little to hope for;
however, Louisa has firmness, and my father's anger will probably only
increase her affection. --In our intercourse with the world, it is
natural for us to dislike those who are innocently the cause of our
distress; but in the heart's attachment a woman never likes a man with
ardour till she has suffered for his sake. --[_Noise_. ] So! what bustle
is here--between my father and the Duenna too, I'll e'en get out of
the way. [_Exit_. ]


_Re-enter_ DON JEROME _with a letter, pulling in_ DUENNA.

_Don Jer_. I'm astonished! I'm thunderstruck! here's treachery with a
vengeance! You, Antonio's creature, and chief manager of this plot for
my daughter's eloping! --you, that I placed here as a scarecrow?

_Duen_. What?

_Don Jer_. A scarecrow--to prove a decoy-duck! What have you to say
for yourself?

_Duen_. Well, sir, since you have forced that letter from me, and
discovered my real sentiments, I scorn to renounce them. --I am
Antonio's friend, and it was my intention that your daughter should
have served you as all such old tyrannical sots should be served--I
delight in the tender passions and would befriend all under their
influence.

_Don Jer_. The tender passions! yes, they would become those
impenetrable features! Why, thou deceitful hag! I placed thee as a
guard to the rich blossoms of my daughter's beauty. I thought that
dragon's front of thine would cry aloof to the sons of gallantry:
steel traps and spring guns seemed writ in every wrinkle of it. --But
you shall quit my house this instant. The tender passions, indeed! go,
thou wanton sibyl, thou amorous woman of Endor, go!

_Duen_. You base, scurrilous, old--but I won't demean myself by naming
what you are. --Yes, savage, I'll leave your den; but I suppose you
don't mean to detain my apparel--I may have my things, I presume?

_Don Jer_. I took you, mistress, with your wardrobe on--what have you
pilfered, eh?

_Duen_. Sir, I must take leave of my mistress; she has valuables of
mine: besides, my cardinal and veil are in her room.

_Don Jer_. Your veil, forsooth! what, do you dread being gazed at? or
are you afraid of your complexion? Well, go take your leave, and get
your veil and cardinal! so! you quit the house within these five
minutes. --In--in--quick! --[_Exit_ DUENNA. ] Here was a precious plot of
mischief! --these are the comforts daughters bring us!

AIR.
If a daughter you have, she's the plague of your life,
No peace shall you know, though you've buried your wife!
At twenty she mocks at the duty you taught her--
Oh, what a plague is an obstinate daughter!
Sighing and whining,
Dying and pining,
Oh, what a plague is an obstinate daughter!