No More Learning

Can I trust your
assertion, Isabella? Are you sure you hate me? If I let you alone for
half a day, won't you come sighing and wheedling to me again? I daresay
she would rather I had seemed all tenderness before you: it wounds her
vanity to have the truth exposed. But I don't care who knows that the
passion was wholly on one side: and I never told her a lie about it. She
cannot accuse me of showing one bit of deceitful softness. The first
thing she saw me do, on coming out of the Grange, was to hang up her
little dog; and when she pleaded for it, the first words I uttered were a
wish that I had the hanging of every being belonging to her, except one:
possibly she took that exception for herself. But no brutality disgusted
her: I suppose she has an innate admiration of it, if only her precious
person were secure from injury! Now, was it not the depth of
absurdity--of genuine idiotcy, for that pitiful, slavish, mean-minded
brach to dream that I could love her? Tell your master, Nelly, that I
never, in all my life, met with such an abject thing as she is. She even
disgraces the name of Linton; and I've sometimes relented, from pure lack
of invention, in my experiments on what she could endure, and still creep
shamefully cringing back! But tell him, also, to set his fraternal and
magisterial heart at ease: that I keep strictly within the limits of the
law. I have avoided, up to this period, giving her the slightest right
to claim a separation; and, what's more, she'd thank nobody for dividing
us. If she desired to go, she might: the nuisance of her presence
outweighs the gratification to be derived from tormenting her! '

'Mr. Heathcliff,' said I, 'this is the talk of a madman; your wife, most
likely, is convinced you are mad; and, for that reason, she has borne
with you hitherto: but now that you say she may go, she'll doubtless
avail herself of the permission. You are not so bewitched, ma'am, are
you, as to remain with him of your own accord? '

'Take care, Ellen! ' answered Isabella, her eyes sparkling irefully; there
was no misdoubting by their expression the full success of her partner's
endeavours to make himself detested. 'Don't put faith in a single word
he speaks. He's a lying fiend! a monster, and not a human being! I've
been told I might leave him before; and I've made the attempt, but I dare
not repeat it! Only, Ellen, promise you'll not mention a syllable of his
infamous conversation to my brother or Catherine. Whatever he may
pretend, he wishes to provoke Edgar to desperation: he says he has
married me on purpose to obtain power over him; and he sha'n't obtain
it--I'll die first! I just hope, I pray, that he may forget his
diabolical prudence and kill me! The single pleasure I can imagine is to
die, or to see him dead! '

'There--that will do for the present! ' said Heathcliff. 'If you are
called upon in a court of law, you'll remember her language, Nelly! And
take a good look at that countenance: she's near the point which would
suit me. No; you're not fit to be your own guardian, Isabella, now; and
I, being your legal protector, must retain you in my custody, however
distasteful the obligation may be. Go up-stairs; I have something to say
to Ellen Dean in private. That's not the way: up-stairs, I tell you!
Why, this is the road upstairs, child! '

He seized, and thrust her from the room; and returned muttering--'I have
no pity! I have no pity! The more the worms writhe, the more I yearn to
crush out their entrails! It is a moral teething; and I grind with
greater energy in proportion to the increase of pain. '

'Do you understand what the word pity means? ' I said, hastening to resume
my bonnet. 'Did you ever feel a touch of it in your life? '

'Put that down! ' he interrupted, perceiving my intention to depart. 'You
are not going yet. Come here now, Nelly: I must either persuade or
compel you to aid me in fulfilling my determination to see Catherine, and
that without delay. I swear that I meditate no harm: I don't desire to
cause any disturbance, or to exasperate or insult Mr. Linton; I only wish
to hear from herself how she is, and why she has been ill; and to ask if
anything that I could do would be of use to her. Last night I was in the
Grange garden six hours, and I'll return there to-night; and every night
I'll haunt the place, and every day, till I find an opportunity of
entering. If Edgar Linton meets me, I shall not hesitate to knock him
down, and give him enough to insure his quiescence while I stay. If his
servants oppose me, I shall threaten them off with these pistols. But
wouldn't it be better to prevent my coming in contact with them, or their
master? And you could do it so easily. I'd warn you when I came, and
then you might let me in unobserved, as soon as she was alone, and watch
till I departed, your conscience quite calm: you would be hindering
mischief. '

I protested against playing that treacherous part in my employer's house:
and, besides, I urged the cruelty and selfishness of his destroying Mrs.
Linton's tranquillity for his satisfaction. 'The commonest occurrence
startles her painfully,' I said. 'She's all nerves, and she couldn't
bear the surprise, I'm positive. Don't persist, sir! or else I shall be
obliged to inform my master of your designs; and he'll take measures to
secure his house and its inmates from any such unwarrantable intrusions! '

'In that case I'll take measures to secure you, woman! ' exclaimed
Heathcliff; 'you shall not leave Wuthering Heights till to-morrow
morning. It is a foolish story to assert that Catherine could not bear
to see me; and as to surprising her, I don't desire it: you must prepare
her--ask her if I may come. You say she never mentions my name, and that
I am never mentioned to her. To whom should she mention me if I am a
forbidden topic in the house? She thinks you are all spies for her
husband. Oh, I've no doubt she's in hell among you! I guess by her
silence, as much as anything, what she feels. You say she is often
restless, and anxious-looking: is that a proof of tranquillity? You talk
of her mind being unsettled. How the devil could it be otherwise in her
frightful isolation? And that insipid, paltry creature attending her
from _duty_ and _humanity_! From _pity_ and _charity_! He might as well
plant an oak in a flower-pot, and expect it to thrive, as imagine he can
restore her to vigour in the soil of his shallow cares? Let us settle it
at once: will you stay here, and am I to fight my way to Catherine over
Linton and his footman? Or will you be my friend, as you have been
hitherto, and do what I request? Decide! because there is no reason for
my lingering another minute, if you persist in your stubborn ill-nature! '

Well, Mr. Lockwood, I argued and complained, and flatly refused him fifty
times; but in the long run he forced me to an agreement. I engaged to
carry a letter from him to my mistress; and should she consent, I
promised to let him have intelligence of Linton's next absence from home,
when he might come, and get in as he was able: I wouldn't be there, and
my fellow-servants should be equally out of the way. Was it right or
wrong? I fear it was wrong, though expedient. I thought I prevented
another explosion by my compliance; and I thought, too, it might create a
favourable crisis in Catherine's mental illness: and then I remembered
Mr. Edgar's stern rebuke of my carrying tales; and I tried to smooth away
all disquietude on the subject, by affirming, with frequent iteration,
that that betrayal of trust, if it merited so harsh an appellation,
should be the last. Notwithstanding, my journey homeward was sadder than
my journey thither; and many misgivings I had, ere I could prevail on
myself to put the missive into Mrs. Linton's hand.

But here is Kenneth; I'll go down, and tell him how much better you are.
My history is _dree_, as we say, and will serve to while away another
morning.

Dree, and dreary! I reflected as the good woman descended to receive the
doctor: and not exactly of the kind which I should have chosen to amuse
me. But never mind! I'll extract wholesome medicines from Mrs. Dean's
bitter herbs; and firstly, let me beware of the fascination that lurks in
Catherine Heathcliff's brilliant eyes. I should be in a curious taking
if I surrendered my heart to that young person, and the daughter turned
out a second edition of the mother.




CHAPTER XV


Another week over--and I am so many days nearer health, and spring! I
have now heard all my neighbour's history, at different sittings, as the
housekeeper could spare time from more important occupations. I'll
continue it in her own words, only a little condensed. She is, on the
whole, a very fair narrator, and I don't think I could improve her style.

In the evening, she said, the evening of my visit to the Heights, I knew,
as well as if I saw him, that Mr. Heathcliff was about the place; and I
shunned going out, because I still carried his letter in my pocket, and
didn't want to be threatened or teased any more. I had made up my mind
not to give it till my master went somewhere, as I could not guess how
its receipt would affect Catherine. The consequence was, that it did not
reach her before the lapse of three days. The fourth was Sunday, and I
brought it into her room after the family were gone to church. There was
a manservant left to keep the house with me, and we generally made a
practice of locking the doors during the hours of service; but on that
occasion the weather was so warm and pleasant that I set them wide open,
and, to fulfil my engagement, as I knew who would be coming, I told my
companion that the mistress wished very much for some oranges, and he
must run over to the village and get a few, to be paid for on the morrow.
He departed, and I went up-stairs.

Mrs. Linton sat in a loose white dress, with a light shawl over her
shoulders, in the recess of the open window, as usual. Her thick, long
hair had been partly removed at the beginning of her illness, and now she
wore it simply combed in its natural tresses over her temples and neck.
Her appearance was altered, as I had told Heathcliff; but when she was
calm, there seemed unearthly beauty in the change. The flash of her eyes
had been succeeded by a dreamy and melancholy softness; they no longer
gave the impression of looking at the objects around her: they appeared
always to gaze beyond, and far beyond--you would have said out of this
world. Then, the paleness of her face--its haggard aspect having
vanished as she recovered flesh--and the peculiar expression arising from
her mental state, though painfully suggestive of their causes, added to
the touching interest which she awakened; and--invariably to me, I know,
and to any person who saw her, I should think--refuted more tangible
proofs of convalescence, and stamped her as one doomed to decay.

A book lay spread on the sill before her, and the scarcely perceptible
wind fluttered its leaves at intervals. I believe Linton had laid it
there: for she never endeavoured to divert herself with reading, or
occupation of any kind, and he would spend many an hour in trying to
entice her attention to some subject which had formerly been her
amusement. She was conscious of his aim, and in her better moods endured
his efforts placidly, only showing their uselessness by now and then
suppressing a wearied sigh, and checking him at last with the saddest of
smiles and kisses. At other times, she would turn petulantly away, and
hide her face in her hands, or even push him off angrily; and then he
took care to let her alone, for he was certain of doing no good.

Gimmerton chapel bells were still ringing; and the full, mellow flow of
the beck in the valley came soothingly on the ear. It was a sweet
substitute for the yet absent murmur of the summer foliage, which drowned
that music about the Grange when the trees were in leaf. At Wuthering
Heights it always sounded on quiet days following a great thaw or a
season of steady rain. And of Wuthering Heights Catherine was thinking
as she listened: that is, if she thought or listened at all; but she had
the vague, distant look I mentioned before, which expressed no
recognition of material things either by ear or eye.

'There's a letter for you, Mrs. Linton,' I said, gently inserting it in
one hand that rested on her knee. 'You must read it immediately, because
it wants an answer. Shall I break the seal? ' 'Yes,' she answered,
without altering the direction of her eyes. I opened it--it was very
short. 'Now,' I continued, 'read it. ' She drew away her hand, and let
it fall. I replaced it in her lap, and stood waiting till it should
please her to glance down; but that movement was so long delayed that at
last I resumed--'Must I read it, ma'am? It is from Mr. Heathcliff. '

There was a start and a troubled gleam of recollection, and a struggle to
arrange her ideas. She lifted the letter, and seemed to peruse it; and
when she came to the signature she sighed: yet still I found she had not
gathered its import, for, upon my desiring to hear her reply, she merely
pointed to the name, and gazed at me with mournful and questioning
eagerness.

'Well, he wishes to see you,' said I, guessing her need of an
interpreter. 'He's in the garden by this time, and impatient to know
what answer I shall bring. '

As I spoke, I observed a large dog lying on the sunny grass beneath raise
its ears as if about to bark, and then smoothing them back, announce, by
a wag of the tail, that some one approached whom it did not consider a
stranger. Mrs. Linton bent forward, and listened breathlessly. The
minute after a step traversed the hall; the open house was too tempting
for Heathcliff to resist walking in: most likely he supposed that I was
inclined to shirk my promise, and so resolved to trust to his own
audacity. With straining eagerness Catherine gazed towards the entrance
of her chamber. He did not hit the right room directly: she motioned me
to admit him, but he found it out ere I could reach the door, and in a
stride or two was at her side, and had her grasped in his arms.

He neither spoke nor loosed his hold for some five minutes, during which
period he bestowed more kisses than ever he gave in his life before, I
daresay: but then my mistress had kissed him first, and I plainly saw
that he could hardly bear, for downright agony, to look into her face!
The same conviction had stricken him as me, from the instant he beheld
her, that there was no prospect of ultimate recovery there--she was
fated, sure to die.

'Oh, Cathy! Oh, my life! how can I bear it? ' was the first sentence he
uttered, in a tone that did not seek to disguise his despair. And now he
stared at her so earnestly that I thought the very intensity of his gaze
would bring tears into his eyes; but they burned with anguish: they did
not melt.

'What now? ' said Catherine, leaning back, and returning his look with a
suddenly clouded brow: her humour was a mere vane for constantly varying
caprices. 'You and Edgar have broken my heart, Heathcliff! And you both
come to bewail the deed to me, as if you were the people to be pitied! I
shall not pity you, not I. You have killed me--and thriven on it, I
think. How strong you are! How many years do you mean to live after I
am gone? '

Heathcliff had knelt on one knee to embrace her; he attempted to rise,
but she seized his hair, and kept him down.

'I wish I could hold you,' she continued, bitterly, 'till we were both
dead! I shouldn't care what you suffered. I care nothing for your
sufferings. Why shouldn't you suffer? I do! Will you forget me? Will
you be happy when I am in the earth? Will you say twenty years hence,
"That's the grave of Catherine Earnshaw? I loved her long ago, and was
wretched to lose her; but it is past. I've loved many others since: my
children are dearer to me than she was; and, at death, I shall not
rejoice that I am going to her: I shall be sorry that I must leave
them! " Will you say so, Heathcliff? '

'Don't torture me till I'm as mad as yourself,' cried he, wrenching his
head free, and grinding his teeth.

The two, to a cool spectator, made a strange and fearful picture. Well
might Catherine deem that heaven would be a land of exile to her, unless
with her mortal body she cast away her moral character also. Her present
countenance had a wild vindictiveness in its white cheek, and a bloodless
lip and scintillating eye; and she retained in her closed fingers a
portion of the locks she had been grasping. As to her companion, while
raising himself with one hand, he had taken her arm with the other; and
so inadequate was his stock of gentleness to the requirements of her
condition, that on his letting go I saw four distinct impressions left
blue in the colourless skin.

'Are you possessed with a devil,' he pursued, savagely, 'to talk in that
manner to me when you are dying? Do you reflect that all those words
will be branded in my memory, and eating deeper eternally after you have
left me? You know you lie to say I have killed you: and, Catherine, you
know that I could as soon forget you as my existence! Is it not
sufficient for your infernal selfishness, that while you are at peace I
shall writhe in the torments of hell? '

'I shall not be at peace,' moaned Catherine, recalled to a sense of
physical weakness by the violent, unequal throbbing of her heart, which
beat visibly and audibly under this excess of agitation. She said
nothing further till the paroxysm was over; then she continued, more
kindly--

'I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have, Heathcliff. I only
wish us never to be parted: and should a word of mine distress you
hereafter, think I feel the same distress underground, and for my own
sake, forgive me! Come here and kneel down again! You never harmed me
in your life. Nay, if you nurse anger, that will be worse to remember
than my harsh words! Won't you come here again? Do! '

Heathcliff went to the back of her chair, and leant over, but not so far
as to let her see his face, which was livid with emotion. She bent round
to look at him; he would not permit it: turning abruptly, he walked to
the fireplace, where he stood, silent, with his back towards us. Mrs.
Linton's glance followed him suspiciously: every movement woke a new
sentiment in her. After a pause and a prolonged gaze, she resumed;
addressing me in accents of indignant disappointment:--

'Oh, you see, Nelly, he would not relent a moment to keep me out of the
grave. _That_ is how I'm loved! Well, never mind. That is not _my_
Heathcliff. I shall love mine yet; and take him with me: he's in my
soul. And,' added she musingly, 'the thing that irks me most is this
shattered prison, after all. I'm tired of being enclosed here. I'm
wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not
seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of
an aching heart: but really with it, and in it. Nelly, you think you are
better and more fortunate than I; in full health and strength: you are
sorry for me--very soon that will be altered. I shall be sorry for
_you_. I shall be incomparably beyond and above you all.
I _wonder_ he
won't be near me! ' She went on to herself. 'I thought he wished it.
Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now. Do come to me,
Heathcliff. '

In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair.
At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate.
His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast
heaved convulsively. An instant they held asunder, and then how they met
I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they
were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be
released alive: in fact, to my eyes, she seemed directly insensible. He
flung himself into the nearest seat, and on my approaching hurriedly to
ascertain if she had fainted, he gnashed at me, and foamed like a mad
dog, and gathered her to him with greedy jealousy. I did not feel as if
I were in the company of a creature of my own species: it appeared that
he would not understand, though I spoke to him; so I stood off, and held
my tongue, in great perplexity.

A movement of Catherine's relieved me a little presently: she put up her
hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her; while
he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly--

'You teach me now how cruel you've been--cruel and false. _Why_ did you
despise me? _Why_ did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one
word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you
may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight
you--they'll damn you. You loved me--then what _right_ had you to leave
me? What right--answer me--for the poor fancy you felt for Linton?
Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan
could inflict would have parted us, _you_, of your own will, did it. I
have not broken your heart--_you_ have broken it; and in breaking it, you
have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want
to live? What kind of living will it be when you--oh, God! would _you_
like to live with your soul in the grave? '

'Let me alone. Let me alone,' sobbed Catherine. 'If I've done wrong,
I'm dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid
you! I forgive you. Forgive me! '

'It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted
hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes! I
forgive what you have done to me. I love _my_ murderer--but _yours_! How
can I? '

They were silent--their faces hid against each other, and washed by each
other's tears. At least, I suppose the weeping was on both sides; as it
seemed Heathcliff could weep on a great occasion like this.

I grew very uncomfortable, meanwhile; for the afternoon wore fast away,
the man whom I had sent off returned from his errand, and I could
distinguish, by the shine of the western sun up the valley, a concourse
thickening outside Gimmerton chapel porch.

'Service is over,' I announced. 'My master will be here in half an
hour. '

Heathcliff groaned a curse, and strained Catherine closer: she never
moved.

Ere long I perceived a group of the servants passing up the road towards
the kitchen wing. Mr. Linton was not far behind; he opened the gate
himself and sauntered slowly up, probably enjoying the lovely afternoon
that breathed as soft as summer.

'Now he is here,' I exclaimed. 'For heaven's sake, hurry down! You'll
not meet any one on the front stairs. Do be quick; and stay among the
trees till he is fairly in. '

'I must go, Cathy,' said Heathcliff, seeking to extricate himself from
his companion's arms. 'But if I live, I'll see you again before you are
asleep. I won't stray five yards from your window. '

'You must not go! ' she answered, holding him as firmly as her strength
allowed. 'You _shall_ not, I tell you. '

'For one hour,' he pleaded earnestly.

'Not for one minute,' she replied.

'I _must_--Linton will be up immediately,' persisted the alarmed
intruder.

He would have risen, and unfixed her fingers by the act--she clung fast,
gasping: there was mad resolution in her face.

'No! ' she shrieked. 'Oh, don't, don't go. It is the last time! Edgar
will not hurt us. Heathcliff, I shall die! I shall die! '

'Damn the fool! There he is,' cried Heathcliff, sinking back into his
seat. 'Hush, my darling! Hush, hush, Catherine! I'll stay. If he shot
me so, I'd expire with a blessing on my lips. '

And there they were fast again. I heard my master mounting the
stairs--the cold sweat ran from my forehead: I was horrified.

'Are you going to listen to her ravings? ' I said, passionately. 'She
does not know what she says. Will you ruin her, because she has not wit
to help herself? Get up! You could be free instantly. That is the most
diabolical deed that ever you did. We are all done for--master,
mistress, and servant. '

I wrung my hands, and cried out; and Mr. Linton hastened his step at the
noise. In the midst of my agitation, I was sincerely glad to observe
that Catherine's arms had fallen relaxed, and her head hung down.

'She's fainted, or dead,' I thought: 'so much the better. Far better
that she should be dead, than lingering a burden and a misery-maker to
all about her. '

Edgar sprang to his unbidden guest, blanched with astonishment and rage.
What he meant to do I cannot tell; however, the other stopped all
demonstrations, at once, by placing the lifeless-looking form in his
arms.

'Look there! ' he said. 'Unless you be a fiend, help her first--then you
shall speak to me! '

He walked into the parlour, and sat down. Mr. Linton summoned me, and
with great difficulty, and after resorting to many means, we managed to
restore her to sensation; but she was all bewildered; she sighed, and
moaned, and knew nobody. Edgar, in his anxiety for her, forgot her hated
friend. I did not. I went, at the earliest opportunity, and besought
him to depart; affirming that Catherine was better, and he should hear
from me in the morning how she passed the night.

'I shall not refuse to go out of doors,' he answered; 'but I shall stay
in the garden: and, Nelly, mind you keep your word to-morrow. I shall be
under those larch-trees. Mind! or I pay another visit, whether Linton be
in or not. '

He sent a rapid glance through the half-open door of the chamber, and,
ascertaining that what I stated was apparently true, delivered the house
of his luckless presence.




CHAPTER XVI


About twelve o'clock that night was born the Catherine you saw at
Wuthering Heights: a puny, seven-months' child; and two hours after the
mother died, having never recovered sufficient consciousness to miss
Heathcliff, or know Edgar. The latter's distraction at his bereavement
is a subject too painful to be dwelt on; its after-effects showed how
deep the sorrow sunk. A great addition, in my eyes, was his being left
without an heir. I bemoaned that, as I gazed on the feeble orphan; and I
mentally abused old Linton for (what was only natural partiality) the
securing his estate to his own daughter, instead of his son's. An
unwelcomed infant it was, poor thing! It might have wailed out of life,
and nobody cared a morsel, during those first hours of existence. We
redeemed the neglect afterwards; but its beginning was as friendless as
its end is likely to be.

Next morning--bright and cheerful out of doors--stole softened in through
the blinds of the silent room, and suffused the couch and its occupant
with a mellow, tender glow. Edgar Linton had his head laid on the
pillow, and his eyes shut. His young and fair features were almost as
deathlike as those of the form beside him, and almost as fixed: but _his_
was the hush of exhausted anguish, and _hers_ of perfect peace. Her brow
smooth, her lids closed, her lips wearing the expression of a smile; no
angel in heaven could be more beautiful than she appeared. And I partook
of the infinite calm in which she lay: my mind was never in a holier
frame than while I gazed on that untroubled image of Divine rest. I
instinctively echoed the words she had uttered a few hours before:
'Incomparably beyond and above us all! Whether still on earth or now in
heaven, her spirit is at home with God! '

I don't know if it be a peculiarity in me, but I am seldom otherwise than
happy while watching in the chamber of death, should no frenzied or
despairing mourner share the duty with me. I see a repose that neither
earth nor hell can break, and I feel an assurance of the endless and
shadowless hereafter--the Eternity they have entered--where life is
boundless in its duration, and love in its sympathy, and joy in its
fulness. I noticed on that occasion how much selfishness there is even
in a love like Mr. Linton's, when he so regretted Catherine's blessed
release! To be sure, one might have doubted, after the wayward and
impatient existence she had led, whether she merited a haven of peace at
last. One might doubt in seasons of cold reflection; but not then, in
the presence of her corpse. It asserted its own tranquillity, which
seemed a pledge of equal quiet to its former inhabitant.

Do you believe such people are happy in the other world, sir? I'd give a
great deal to know.

I declined answering Mrs. Dean's question, which struck me as something
heterodox. She proceeded:

Retracing the course of Catherine Linton, I fear we have no right to
think she is; but we'll leave her with her Maker.

The master looked asleep, and I ventured soon after sunrise to quit the
room and steal out to the pure refreshing air. The servants thought me
gone to shake off the drowsiness of my protracted watch; in reality, my
chief motive was seeing Mr. Heathcliff. If he had remained among the
larches all night, he would have heard nothing of the stir at the Grange;
unless, perhaps, he might catch the gallop of the messenger going to
Gimmerton. If he had come nearer, he would probably be aware, from the
lights flitting to and fro, and the opening and shutting of the outer
doors, that all was not right within. I wished, yet feared, to find him.
I felt the terrible news must be told, and I longed to get it over; but
how to do it I did not know. He was there--at least, a few yards further
in the park; leant against an old ash-tree, his hat off, and his hair
soaked with the dew that had gathered on the budded branches, and fell
pattering round him. He had been standing a long time in that position,
for I saw a pair of ousels passing and repassing scarcely three feet from
him, busy in building their nest, and regarding his proximity no more
than that of a piece of timber. They flew off at my approach, and he
raised his eyes and spoke:--'She's dead! ' he said; 'I've not waited for
you to learn that. Put your handkerchief away--don't snivel before me.
Damn you all! she wants none of your tears! '

I was weeping as much for him as her: we do sometimes pity creatures that
have none of the feeling either for themselves or others. When I first
looked into his face, I perceived that he had got intelligence of the
catastrophe; and a foolish notion struck me that his heart was quelled
and he prayed, because his lips moved and his gaze was bent on the
ground.

'Yes, she's dead! ' I answered, checking my sobs and drying my cheeks.
'Gone to heaven, I hope; where we may, every one, join her, if we take
due warning and leave our evil ways to follow good! '

'Did _she_ take due warning, then? ' asked Heathcliff, attempting a sneer.
'Did she die like a saint? Come, give me a true history of the event.
How did--? '

He endeavoured to pronounce the name, but could not manage it; and
compressing his mouth he held a silent combat with his inward agony,
defying, meanwhile, my sympathy with an unflinching, ferocious stare.
'How did she die? ' he resumed, at last--fain, notwithstanding his
hardihood, to have a support behind him; for, after the struggle, he
trembled, in spite of himself, to his very finger-ends.

'Poor wretch! ' I thought; 'you have a heart and nerves the same as your
brother men! Why should you be anxious to conceal them? Your pride
cannot blind God! You tempt him to wring them, till he forces a cry of
humiliation. '

'Quietly as a lamb! ' I answered, aloud. 'She drew a sigh, and stretched
herself, like a child reviving, and sinking again to sleep; and five
minutes after I felt one little pulse at her heart, and nothing more! '

'And--did she ever mention me? ' he asked, hesitating, as if he dreaded
the answer to his question would introduce details that he could not bear
to hear.

'Her senses never returned: she recognised nobody from the time you left
her,' I said. 'She lies with a sweet smile on her face; and her latest
ideas wandered back to pleasant early days. Her life closed in a gentle
dream--may she wake as kindly in the other world! '

'May she wake in torment! ' he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping
his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion.
'Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not _there_--not in
heaven--not perished--where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my
sufferings! And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue
stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living;
you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered _do_ haunt their
murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts _have_ wandered on earth. Be
with me always--take any form--drive me mad! only _do_ not leave me in
this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I
_cannot_ live without my life! I _cannot_ live without my soul! '

He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes,
howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death
with knives and spears. I observed several splashes of blood about the
bark of the tree, and his hand and forehead were both stained; probably
the scene I witnessed was a repetition of others acted during the night.
It hardly moved my compassion--it appalled me: still, I felt reluctant to
quit him so. But the moment he recollected himself enough to notice me
watching, he thundered a command for me to go, and I obeyed. He was
beyond my skill to quiet or console!

Mrs. Linton's funeral was appointed to take place on the Friday following
her decease; and till then her coffin remained uncovered, and strewn with
flowers and scented leaves, in the great drawing-room. Linton spent his
days and nights there, a sleepless guardian; and--a circumstance
concealed from all but me--Heathcliff spent his nights, at least,
outside, equally a stranger to repose. I held no communication with him:
still, I was conscious of his design to enter, if he could; and on the
Tuesday, a little after dark, when my master, from sheer fatigue, had
been compelled to retire a couple of hours, I went and opened one of the
windows; moved by his perseverance to give him a chance of bestowing on
the faded image of his idol one final adieu. He did not omit to avail
himself of the opportunity, cautiously and briefly; too cautiously to
betray his presence by the slightest noise. Indeed, I shouldn't have
discovered that he had been there, except for the disarrangement of the
drapery about the corpse's face, and for observing on the floor a curl of
light hair, fastened with a silver thread; which, on examination, I
ascertained to have been taken from a locket hung round Catherine's neck.
Heathcliff had opened the trinket and cast out its contents, replacing
them by a black lock of his own. I twisted the two, and enclosed them
together.