No More Learning

Collins. "
Elizabeth would not oppose such an injunction; and a mo-
ment's consideration making her also sensible that it would be


## p. 1051 (#477) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1051
wisest to get it over as soon and as quietly as possible, she sat
down again, and tried to conceal by incessant employment the
feelings which were divided between distress and diversion. Mrs.
Bennet and Kitty walked off; and as soon as they were gone,
Mr. Collins began:
"Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so
far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other per-
fections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had
there not been this little unwillingness; but allow me to assure
you that I have your respected mother's permission for this
address. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse,
however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble: my
attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon
as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of
my future life.
But before I am run away with by my feelings.
on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my
reasons for marrying-and moreover, for coming into Hertford-
shire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did. "
The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being
run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing
that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt
to stop him further, and he continued:-
-
――――――
"My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right
thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to
set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am
convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly,
-which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is
the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady
whom I have the honor of calling patroness. Twice has she con-
descended to give me her opinion (unasked, too! ) on this subject;
and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford —
between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs. Jenkinson was arran-
ging Miss de Bourgh's footstool-that she said, 'Mr. Collins, you
must marry. A clergyman like you must marry.
Choose prop-
erly, choose a gentlewoman, for my sake; and for your own, let
her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but
able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice.
Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford,
and I will visit her! ' Allow me, by the way, to observe, my
fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady
Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in
-


## p. 1052 (#478) ###########################################

1052
JANE AUSTEN
my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond anything
I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be
acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence
and respect which her rank will inevitably excite. Thus much
for my general intention in favor of matrimony; it remains to be
told why my views are directed to Longbourn instead of my
own neighborhood, where, I assure you, there are many amiable.
young women. But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit
this estate after the death of your honored father (who, how-
ever, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself
without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters,
that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the
melancholy event takes place, which, however, as I have already
said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive,
my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your
esteem. And now, nothing remains for me but to assure you, in
the most animated language, of the violence of my affection. To
fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of
that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could
not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the four
per cents. , which will not be yours till after your mother's
decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head,
therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure your-
self that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when
we are married. ”
It was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now.
"You are too hasty, sir," she cried. "You forget that I have
made no answer. Let me do it without further loss of time.
Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me.
I am
very sensible of the honor of your proposals, but it is impossible
for me to do otherwise than decline them. "
"I am not now to learn," replied Mr. Collins, with a formal
wave of the hand, "that it is usual with young ladies to reject
the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept,
when he first applies for their favor; and that sometimes the
refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am there-
fore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and
shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long. "
"Upon my word, sir," cried Elizabeth, "your hope is rather
an extraordinary one, after my declaration.
I do assure you
that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies


## p. 1053 (#479) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1053
there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the
chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in
my refusal. You could not make me happy, and I am convinced
that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so.
Nay, were your friend Lady Catherine to know me, I am per-
suaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the
situation. "
"Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so," said
Mr. Collins, very gravely- "but I cannot imagine that her
ladyship would at all disapprove of you. And you may be certain
that when I have the honor of seeing her again, I shall speak in
the highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other amiable
qualifications. "
"Indeed, Mr. Collins, all praise of me will be unnecessary.
You must give me leave to judge for myself, and pay me the
compliment of believing what I say. I wish you very happy
and very rich, and by refusing your hand do all in my power to
prevent your being otherwise. In making me the offer, you must
have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regard to my
family, and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever
it falls, without any self-reproach. This matter may be consid-
ered, therefore, as finally settled. " And rising as she thus spoke,
she would have quitted the room had not Mr. Collins thus ad-
dressed her:
"When I do myself the honor of speaking to you next on the
subject, I shall hope to receive a more favorable answer than
you have now given me: though I am far from accusing you of
cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom
of your sex to reject a man on the first application; and perhaps
you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would
be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character. "
"Really, Mr. Collins," cried Elizabeth, with some warmth,
"you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can
appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how
to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its
being one. "
"You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin,
that your refusal of my addresses is merely a thing of course.
My reasons for believing it are briefly these:-It does not ap-
pear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance, or that
the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly


## p. 1054 (#480) ###########################################

1054
JANE AUSTEN
desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of
De Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances
highly in my favor; and you should take it into further consider-
ation that, in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means.
certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you.
Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood
undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications.
As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your
rejection of me, I shall choose to attribute it to your wish of
increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice
of elegant females. "
man.
"I do assure you, sir, that I have no pretensions whatever to
that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable
would rather be paid the compliment of being believed
sincere. I thank you again and again for the honor you have
done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely
impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak
plainer? Do not consider me now as an elegant female intend-
ing to plague you, but as a rational creature speaking the truth
from her heart. "
"You are uniformly charming! " cried he, with an air of awk-
ward gallantry; "and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by
the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals
will not fail of being acceptable. ”
To such perseverance in willful self-deception Elizabeth would
make no reply, and immediately and in silence withdrew; deter-
mined, if he persisted in considering her repeated refusals as flat-
tering encouragement, to apply to her father, whose negative
might be uttered in such a manner as must be decisive, and
whose behavior at least could not be mistaken for the affectation
and coquetry of an elegant female.
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
From Pride and Prejudice
[Lydia Bennet has eloped with the worthless rake Wickham, who has no
intention of marrying her. ]
M
RS. BENNET, to whose apartment they all repaired, after a
few minutes' conversation together, received them exactly
as might be expected: with tears and lamentations of
regret, invectives against the villainous conduct of Wickham, and


## p. 1055 (#481) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1055
complaints of her own suffering and ill-usage; - blaming every-
body but the person to whose ill-judging indulgence the errors of
her daughter must be principally owing.
"If I had been able," said she, "to carry my point in going
to Brighton with all my family, this would not have happened;
but poor, dear Lydia had nobody to take care of her. Why did
the Forsters ever let her go out of their sight? I am sure there
was some great neglect or other on their side, for she is not the
kind of girl to do such a thing, if she had been well looked
after. I always thought they were very unfit to have the charge
of her; but I was overruled, as I always am. Poor, dear child!
And now here's Mr. Bennet gone away, and I know he will fight
Wickham, wherever he meets him, and then he will be killed,
and what is to become of us all? The Collinses will turn us out,
before he is cold in his grave; and if you are not kind to us,
brother, I do not know what we shall do. "
They all exclaimed against such terrific ideas; and Mr. Gardi-
ner, after general assurances of his affection for her and all her
family, told her that he meant to be in London the very next
day, and would assist Mr. Bennet in every endeavor for recover-
ing Lydia.
"Do not give way to useless alarm," added he: "though it is
right to be prepared for the worst, there is no occasion to look
on it as certain. It is not quite a week since they left Brighton.
In a few days more, we may gain some news of them; and till
we know that they are not married, and have no design of mar-
rying, do not let us give the matter over as lost. As soon as I
get to town, I shall go to my brother, and make him come
home with me, to Grace-church-street, and then we may consult
together as to what is to be done. "
"Oh! my dear brother," replied Mrs. Bennet, "that is exactly
what I could most wish for. And now do, when you get to
town, find them out, wherever they may be; and if they are not
married already, make them marry. And as for wedding clothes,
do not let them wait for that, but tell Lydia she shall have as
much money as she chooses to buy them, after they are married.
And above all things, keep Mr. Bennet from fighting. Tell him
what a dreadful state I am in - that I am frightened out of my
wits; and have such tremblings, such flutterings, all over me,
such spasms in my side, and pains in my head, and such beat-
ings at heart, that I can get no rest by night nor by day. And


## p. 1056 (#482) ###########################################

1056
JANE AUSTEN
tell my dear Lydia not to give any directions about her clothes
till she has seen me, for she does not know which are the best
warehouses. Oh! brother, how kind you are! I know you will
contrive it all. "
But Mr. Gardiner, though he assured her again of his earnest
endeavors in the cause, could not avoid recommending modera-
tion to her, as well in her hopes as her fears; and after talking
with her in this manner till dinner was on the table, they left
her to vent all her feelings on the housekeeper, who attended, in
the absence of her daughters.
Though her brother and sister were persuaded that there was
no real occasion for such a seclusion from the family, they did
not attempt to oppose it, for they knew that she had not pru-
dence enough to hold her tongue before the servants, while they
waited at table, and judged it better that one only of the house-
hold, and the one whom they could most trust, should compre-
hend all her fears and solicitude on the subject.
In the dining-room they were soon joined by Mary and Kitty,
who had been too busily engaged in their separate apartments to
make their appearance before. One came from her books, and
the other from her toilette. The faces of both, however, were
tolerably calm; and no change was visible in either, except that
the loss of her favorite sister, or the anger which she had her-
self incurred in the business, had given something more of fret-
fulness than usual to the accents of Kitty. As for Mary, she
was mistress enough of herself to whisper to Elizabeth, with a
countenance of grave reflection, soon after they were seated at
table:
―
"This is a most unfortunate affair; and will probably be much
talked of. But we must stem the tide of malice, and pour into
the wounded bosoms of each other the balm of sisterly con-
solation. "
Then, perceiving in Elizabeth no inclination of replying, she
added, "Unhappy as the event must be for Lydia, we may draw
from it this useful lesson: that loss of virtue in a female is irre-
trievable that one false step involves her in endless ruin—
that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful-and
that she cannot be too much guarded in her behavior towards
the undeserving of the other sex. "
Elizabeth lifted up her eyes in amazement, but was too much
oppressed to make any reply.
――


## p. 1057 (#483) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1057
MR. COLLINS TO MR.
A LETTER OF CONDOLENCE
From Pride and Prejudice
BENNET, ON HIS DAUGHTER'S ELOPEMENT WITH A
RAKE
My Dear Sir:
I
FEEL myself called upon, by our relationship and my situation
in life, to condole with you on the grievous affliction you are
now suffering under, of which we were yesterday informed
by letter from Hertfordshire. Be assured, my dear sir, that Mrs.
Collins and myself sincerely sympathize with you, and all your
respectable family, in your present distress, which must be of
the bitterest kind, because proceeding from a cause which no
time can remove. No arguments shall be wanting, on my part,
that can alleviate so severe a misfortune; or that may comfort
you under a circumstance that must be of all others most afflict-
ing to a parent's mind. The death of your daughter would have
been a blessing in comparison of this. And it is the more to be
lamented because there is reason to suppose, as my dear Char-
lotte informs me, that this licentiousness of behavior in your
daughter has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence;
though at the same time, for the consolation of yourself and
Mrs. Bennet, I am inclined to think that her own disposition
must be naturally bad, or she could not be guilty of such an
enormity at so early an age. Howsoever that may be, you are
grievously to be pitied, in which opinion I am not only joined
by Mrs. Collins, but likewise by Lady Catherine and her daugh-
ter, to whom I have related the affair. They agree with me in
apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious
to the fortunes of all the others; for who, as Lady Catherine
herself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such
a family? And this consideration leads me, moreover, to reflect
with augmented satisfaction on a certain event of last November;
for had it been otherwise, I must have been involved in all your
sorrows and disgrace. Let me advise you, then, my dear sir, to
console yourself as much as possible, to throw off your unworthy
child from your affection forever, and leave her to reap the
fruits of her own heinous offense.
I am, dear sir, etc. , etc.
11-67


## p. 1058 (#484) ###########################################

1058
JANE AUSTEN
A WELL-MATCHED SISTER AND BROTHER
From Northanger Abbey'
on
Μ'
DEAREST Catherine, have you settled what to wear
your head to-night? I am determined, at all events, to
be dressed exactly like you. The men take notice of
that sometimes, you know. "
"But it does not signify if they do," said Catherine, very
innocently.
«< Signify! oh, heavens! I make it a rule never to mind what
they say. They are very often amazingly impertinent, if you do
not treat them with spirit, and make them keep their distance. "
"Are they? Well I never observed that. They always behave
very well to me. ”
"Oh! they give themselves such airs. They are the most
conceited creatures in the world, and think themselves of so
much importance! By the by, though I have thought of it a
hundred times, I have always forgot to ask you what is your
favorite complexion in a man. Do you like them best dark or
fair? "
"I hardly know. I never much thought about it. Something
between both, I think-brown: not fair, and not very dark. ”
"Very well, Catherine. That is exactly he. I have not forgot
your description of Mr. Tilney: 'a brown skin, with dark eyes,
and rather dark hair. ' Well, my taste is different. I prefer
light eyes; and as to complexion, do you know, I like a sallow
better than any other. You must not betray me, if you should
ever meet with one of your acquaintance answering that descrip-
tion. "
"Betray you! What do you mean? »
"Nay, do not distress me. I believe I have said too much. .
Let us drop the subject. "
Catherine, in some amazement, complied; and after remaining
a few moments silent, was on the point of reverting to what
interested her at that time rather more than anything else in
the world, Laurentina's skeleton, when her friend prevented her
by saying, "For Heaven's sake! let us move away from this end
of the room. Do you know, there are two odious young men
who have been staring at me this half-hour. They really put me
quite out of countenance. Let us go and look at the arrivals.
They will hardly follow us there. "


## p. 1059 (#485) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1059
Away they walked to the book; and while Isabella examined
the names, it was Catherine's employment to watch the proceed-
ings of these alarming young men.
"They are not coming this way, are they? I hope they are
not so impertinent as to follow us. Pray let me know if they
are coming. I am determined I will not look up. "
In a few moments Catherine, with unaffected pleasure, assured
her that she need not be longer uneasy, as the gentlemen had
just left the Pump-room.
"And which way are they gone? " said Isabella, turning
hastily round. "One was a very good-looking young man. ”
"They went towards the churchyard. "
"Well, I am amazingly glad I have got rid of them! And
now what say you to going to Edgar's Buildings with me, and
looking at my new hat? You said you should like to see it. "
Catherine readily agreed. "Only," she added, "perhaps we
may overtake the two young men. "
>>>
"Oh! never mind that. If we make haste, we shall pass by
them presently, and I am dying to show you my hat. "
"But if we only wait a few minutes, there will be no danger
of our seeing them at all. "
"I shall not pay them any such compliment, I assure you. I
have no notion of treating men with such respect. That is the
way to spoil them. "
Catherine had nothing to oppose against such reasoning; and
therefore, to show the independence of Miss Thorpe, and her
resolution of humbling the sex, they set off immediately, as fast
as they could walk, in pursuit of the two young men.
Half a minute conducted them through the Pump-yard to the
archway, opposite Union Passage; but here they were stopped.
Everybody acquainted with Bath may remember the difficulties
of crossing Cheap Street at this point; it is indeed a street of so
impertinent a nature, so unfortunately connected with the great
London and Oxford roads, and the principal inn of the city, that
a day never passes in which parties of ladies, however important
their business, whether in quest of pastry, millinery, or even (as
in the present case) of young men, are not detained on one side
or other by carriages, horsemen, or carts. This evil had been
felt and lamented, at least three times a day, by Isabella since
her residence in Bath: and she was now fated to feel and lament
it once more; for at the very moment of coming opposite to


## p. 1060 (#486) ###########################################

1060
JANE AUSTEN
Union Passage, and within view of the two gentlemen who were
proceeding through the crowds and treading the gutters of that
interesting alley, they were prevented crossing by the approach
of a gig, driven along on bad pavements by a most knowing-
looking coachman, with all the vehemence that could most fitly
endanger the lives of himself, his companion, and his horse.
"Oh, these odious gigs! " said Isabella, looking up, "how I
detest them! " But this detestation, though so just, was of short
duration, for she looked again, and exclaimed, "Delightful! Mr.
Morland and my brother! "
"Good Heaven! 'tis James! " was uttered at the same moment
by Catherine; and on catching the young men's eyes, the horse
was immediately checked with a violence which almost threw
him on his haunches; and the servant having now scampered up,
the gentlemen jumped out, and the equipage was delivered to
his care.
Catherine, by whom this meeting was wholly unexpected,
received her brother with the liveliest pleasure; and he, being of
a very amiable disposition, and sincerely attached to her, gave
every proof on his side of equal satisfaction, which he could
have leisure to do, while the bright eyes of Miss Thorpe were
incessantly challenging his notice; and to her his devoirs were
speedily paid, with a mixture of joy and embarrassment which
might have informed Catherine, had she been more expert in
the development of other people's feelings, and less simply en-
grossed by her own, that her brother thought her friend quite as
pretty as she could do herself.
John Thorpe, who in the mean time had been giving orders
about the horse, soon joined them, and from him she directly
received the amends which were her due; for while he slightly
and carelessly touched the hand of Isabella, on her he bestowed
a whole scrape and half a short bow. He was a stout young
man, of middling height, who, with a plain face and ungraceful
form, seemed fearful of being too handsome unless he wore the
dress of a groom, and too much like a gentleman unless he were
easy where he ought to be civil, and impudent where he might
be allowed to be easy. He took out his watch: «< How long do
you think we have been running in from Tetbury, Miss Mor-
land? "
"I do not know the distance. " Her brother told her that it
was twenty-three miles.
-


## p. 1061 (#487) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1061
"Three-and-twenty! " cried Thorpe; "five-and-twenty if it is
an inch. " Morland remonstrated, pleaded the authority of road-
books, innkeepers, and milestones: but his friend disregarded
them all; he had a surer test of distance. "I know it must be
five-and-twenty," said he, "by the time we have been doing it. "
"It is now half after one; we drove out of the inn-yard at Tet-
bury as the town-clock struck eleven; and I defy any man in
England to make my horse go less than ten miles an hour in
harness; that makes it exactly twenty-five. "
"You have lost an hour," said Morland: "it was only ten
o'clock when we came from Tetbury. "
"Ten o'clock! it was eleven, upon my soul! I counted every
stroke. This brother of yours would persuade me out of my
senses, Miss Morland. Do but look at my horse: did you ever
see an animal so made for speed in your life? " (The servant
had just mounted the carriage and was driving off. ) "Such true
blood! Three hours and a half, indeed, coming only three-and-
twenty miles! Look at that creature, and suppose it possible, if
you can! "
"He does look very hot, to be sure. "
"Hot! he had not turned a hair till we came to Walcot
Church: but look at his forehand; look at his loins; only see
how he moves: that horse cannot go less than ten miles an hour;
tie his legs, and he will get on. What do you think of my gig,
Miss Morland? A neat one, is it not? Well hung; town built:
I have not had it a month. It was built for a Christ Church
man, a friend of mine, a very good sort of fellow; he ran it a
few weeks, till, I believe, it was convenient to have done with
it. I happened just then to be looking out for some light thing
of the kind, though I had pretty well determined on a curricle
too; but I chanced to meet him on Magdalen Bridge, as he was
driving into Oxford, last term: 'Ah, Thorpe,' said he, 'do you
happen to want such a little thing as this? It is a capital one of
the kind, but I am cursed tired of it. ' 'Oh! d,' said I, 'I
am your man; what do you ask? ' And how much do you think
he did, Miss Morland? "
"I am sure I cannot guess at all. "
"Curricle-hung, you see; seat, trunk, sword-case, splashing-
board, lamps, silver molding, all, you see, complete; the ironwork
as good as new, or better. He asked fifty guineas: I closed with
him directly, threw down the money, and the carriage was mine. "


## p. 1062 (#488) ###########################################

1062
JANE AUSTEN
"And I am sure," said Catherine, "I know so little of such
things, that I cannot judge whether it was cheap or dear. "
"Neither one nor t'other; I might have got it for less, I dare
say; but I hate haggling, and poor Freeman wanted cash. "
"That was very good-natured of you," said Catherine, quite
pleased.
"Oh! d- it, when one has the means of doing a kind thing
by a friend, I hate to be pitiful. "
An inquiry now took place into the intended movements of
the young ladies; and on finding whither they were going, it
was decided that the gentlemen should accompany them to
Edgar's Buildings, and pay their respects to Mrs. Thorpe. James
and Isabella led the way; and so well satisfied was the latter
with her lot, so contentedly was she endeavoring to insure a
pleasant walk to him who brought the double recommendation of
being her brother's friend and her friend's brother, so pure and
uncoquettish were her feelings, that though they overtook and
passed the two offending young men in Milsom Street, she was
so far from seeking to attract their notice that she looked back
at them only three times.
John Thorpe kept of course with Catherine, and after a few
minutes' silence renewed the conversation about his gig:—“You
will find, however, Miss Morland, it would be reckoned a cheap
thing by some people, for I might have sold it for ten guineas
more the next day; Jackson of Oriel bid me sixty at once; Mor-
land was with me at the time. "
"Yes," said Morland, who overheard this; "but you forgot
that your horse was included. "
"My horse! oh, d- it! I would not sell my horse for a
hundred. Are you fond of an open carriage, Miss Morland? "
"Yes, very: I have hardly ever an opportunity of being in
one; but I am particularly fond of it. "
"I am glad of it: I will drive you out in mine every day. ”
"Thank you," said Catherine, in some distress, from a doubt
of the propriety of accepting such an offer.
"I will drive you up Lansdown Hill to-morrow. "
"Thank you; but will not your horse want rest? "
"Rest! he has only come three-and-twenty miles to-day; all
nonsense: nothing ruins horses so much as rest; nothing knocks
them up so soon. No, no: I shall exercise mine at the average
of four hours every day while I am here. "


## p. 1063 (#489) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1063
"Shall you, indeed! " said Catherine, very seriously: "that will
be forty miles a day. "
"Forty! ay, fifty, for what I care. Well, I will drive you up
Lansdown to-morrow; mind, I am engaged. ”
"How delightful that will be! " cried Isabella, turning round;
"my dearest Catherine, I quite envy you; but I am afraid,
brother, you will not have room for a third. "
"A third, indeed! no, no; I did not come to Bath to drive
my sisters about: that would be a good joke, faith! Morland
must take care of you. "
This brought on a dialogue of civilities between the other
two; but Catherine heard neither the particulars nor the result.
Her companion's discourse now sunk from its hitherto animated
pitch to nothing more than a short, decisive sentence of praise
or condemnation on the face of every women they met; and
Catherine, after listening and agreeing as long as she could, with
all the civility and deference of the youthful female mind, fear-
ful of hazarding an opinion of its own in opposition to that of a
self-assured man, especially where the beauty of her own sex is
concerned, ventured at length to vary the subject by a question
which had been long uppermost in her thoughts. It was, "Have
you ever read 'Udolpho,' Mr. Thorpe ? "
(
« Udolpho! O Lord! not I: I never read novels; I have
something else to do. "
Catherine, humbled and ashamed, was going to apologize for
her question; but he prevented her by saying, "Novels are all
so full of nonsense and stuff! there has not been a tolerable
decent one come out since Tom Jones,' except the 'Monk'; I
read that t'other day: but as for all the others, they are the
stupidest things in creation. "
"I think you must like 'Udolpho,' if you were to read it: it
is so very interesting. "
"Not I, faith! No, if I read any, it shall be Mrs. Radcliffe's;
her novels are amusing enough: they are worth reading; some
fun and nature in them. »
"Udolpho was written by Mrs. Radcliffe," said Catherine,
with some hesitation, from the fear of mortifying him.
"No, sure; was it? Ay, I remember, so it was; I was think-
ing of that other stupid book, written by that woman they made
such a fuss about; she who married the French emigrant. "
"I suppose you mean 'Camilla › ? »


## p. 1064 (#490) ###########################################

1064
JANE AUSTEN
"Yes, that's the book: such unnatural stuff! An old man
playing at see-saw: I took up the first volume once, and looked
it over, but I soon found it would not do; indeed, I guessed
what sort of stuff it must be before I saw it; as soon as I heard
she had married an emigrant, I was sure I should never be able
to get through it. "
"I have never read it. "
"You have no loss, I assure you; it is the horridest nonsense
you can imagine: there is nothing in the world in it but an old
man's playing at see-saw and learning Latin; upon my soul, there
is not. "
This critique, the justness of which was unfortunately lost on
poor Catherine, brought them to the door of Mrs. Thorpe's lodg-
ings, and the feelings of the discerning and unprejudiced reader
of 'Camilla' gave way to the feelings of the dutiful and affec-
tionate son, as they met Mrs. Thorpe, who had descried them
from above, in the passage. "Ah, mother, how do you do? "
said he, giving her a hearty shake of the hand; "where did you
get that quiz of a hat? it makes you look like an old witch.
Here is Morland and I come to stay a few days with you; so
you must look out for a couple of good beds somewhere near. "
And this address seemed to satisfy all the fondest wishes of the
mother's heart, for she received him with the most delighted and
exulting affection. On his two younger sisters he then bestowed
an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of
them how they did, and observed that they both looked very
ugly.
FAMILY DOCTORS
From Emma'
WHIL
HILE they were thus comfortably occupied, Mr. Woodhouse
was enjoying a full flow of happy regrets and tearful
affection with his daughter.
"My poor, dear Isabella," said he, fondly taking her hand,
and interrupting for a few moments her busy labors for some
one of her five children, "how long it is, how terribly long since
you were here! And how tired you must be after your journey!
You must go to bed early, my dear, and I recommend a little
gruel to you before you go. You and I will have a nice basin of
―――――


## p. 1065 (#491) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1065
gruel together. My dear Emma, suppose we all have a little
gruel. »
Emma could not suppose any such thing, knowing as she
did that both the Mr. Knightleys were as unpersuadable on that
article as herself, and two basins only were ordered. After a
little more discourse in praise of gruel, with some wondering at
its not being taken every evening by everybody, he proceeded to
say, with an air of grave reflection:
"It was an awkward business, my dear, your spending the
autumn at South End instead of coming here. I never had
much opinion of the sea air. "
"Mr. Wingfield most strenuously recommended it, sir, or we
should not have gone. He recommended it for all the children,
but particularly for the weakness in little Bella's throat, — both
sea air and bathing. "
-
“Ah, my dear, but Perry had many doubts about the sea
doing her any good; and as to myself, I have been long perfectly
convinced, though perhaps I never told you so before, that the
sea is very rarely of use to anybody. I am sure it almost killed
me once. »
-:
"Come, come," cried Emma, feeling this to be an unsafe sub-
ject, "I must beg you not to talk of the sea. It makes me
envious and miserable; I who have never seen it! South End
is prohibited, if you please. My dear Isabella, I have not heard.
you make one inquiry after Mr. Perry yet; and he never forgets
you. "
«< Oh, good Mr. Perry, how is he, sir? "
"Why, pretty well; but not quite well. Poor Perry is bilious,
and he has not time to take care of himself; he tells me he has
not time to take care of himself - which is very sad - but he is
always wanted all round the country. I suppose there is not a
man in such practice anywhere. But then, there is not so clever
a man anywhere. "
"And Mrs. Perry and the children, how are they? Do the
children grow? I have a great regard for Mr. Perry. I hope
he will be calling soon. He will be so pleased to see my little
ones. "
"I hope he will be here to-morrow, for I have a question or
two to ask him about myself of some consequence.
And, my
dear, whenever he comes, you had better let him look at little
Bella's throat. "


## p. 1066 (#492) ###########################################

1066
JANE AUSTEN
"Oh, my dear sir, her throat is so much better that I have
hardly any uneasiness about it. Either bathing has been of the
greatest service to her, or else it is to be attributed to an excel-
lent embrocation of Mr. Wingfield's, which we have been apply-
ing at times ever since August. "
"It is not very likely, my dear, that bathing should have been
of use to her; and if I had known you were wanting an embro-
cation, I would have spoken to-"
"You seem to me to have forgotten Mrs. and Miss Bates,"
said Emma: "I have not heard one inquiry after them. "
"Oh, the good Bateses-I am quite ashamed of myself; but
you mention them in most of your letters. I hope they are quite
well. Good old Mrs. Bates. I will call upon her to-morrow, and
take my children. They are always so pleased to see my chil-
dren. And that excellent Miss Bates! -such thorough worthy
people! How are they, sir? "
"Why, pretty well, my dear, upon the whole. But poor Mrs.
Bates had a bad cold about a month ago. "
"How sorry I am! but colds were never so prevalent as they
have been this autumn. Mr. Wingfield told me that he had
never known them more general or heavy, except when it has
been quite an influenza. "
"That has been a good deal the case, my dear, but not to the
degree you mention. Perry says that colds have been very gen-
eral, but not so heavy as he has very often known them in No-
vember. Perry does not call it altogether a sickly season. "
"No, I do not know that Mr. Wingfield considers it very
sickly, except—”
"Ah, my poor, dear child, the truth is, that in London it is
always a sickly season. Nobody is healthy in London, nobody
can be. It is a dreadful thing to have you forced to live there;-
so far off! -and the air so bad! "
Our part of
must not con-
The neighbor-
"No, indeed, we are not at all in a bad air.
London is so very superior to most others. You
found us with London in general, my dear sir.
hood of Brunswick Square is very different from almost all the
rest. We are so very airy! I should be unwilling, I own, to
live in any other part of the town; there is hardly any other that
I could be satisfied to have my children in: but we are SO
remarkably airy! Mr. Wingfield thinks the vicinity of Brunswick
Square decidedly the most favorable as to air. "
-


## p. 1067 (#493) ###########################################

JANE AUSTEN
1067
You make the best
"Ah, my dear, it is not like Hartfield.
of it—but after you have been a week at Hartfield, you are all
of you different creatures; you do not look like the same. Now,
I cannot say that I think you are any of you looking well at
present. "
"I am sorry to hear you say so, sir; but I assure you, except-
ing those little nervous headaches and palpitations which I am
never entirely free from anywhere, I am quite well myself; and
if the children were rather pale before they went to bed, it was
only because they were a little more tired than usual from their
journey and the happiness of coming. I hope you will think
better of their looks to-morrow; for I assure you Mr. Wingfield
told me that he did not believe he had ever sent us off, alto-
gether, in such good case. I trust at least that you do not think
Mr. Knightley looking ill," turning her eyes with affectionate
anxiety toward her husband.
“Middling, my dear; I cannot compliment you. I think Mr.