The
Observator
turn'd match-maker.
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
I.
N.
42.
that the
English forces iVSpiin were within fifty miles of Gibral tar in the Streights Mouth, which they may eafily make
themselves inlaffer* of, after the reducement of Cadiz : ever against Gibraltar, on the heathen shore, lies Ceuta
,a SyaiiiRi garifon, which has been so long befieged by the Moors ; a Jme. ll party of men would be sufficient to take this place ; for the Moors would willingly assist the English in this enterpria ; cut ofrevenge upon the Spaniards ; and if we had this place also, then we hold the door of the
Levant in our hands ?
Now, master, if Gibraltar was then the door, or one
iuM ol the folding-door of the Levant; what makes it not be fo now?
O. Because then it was not taken by Sir George Rook. And because now it is. We were then ridiculing his expedition to Cadiz, and Vigo, And this was one article
against him, why he did not take Gibraltar, a place of
such mighty consequence. But now we make ajest of and shewed our raillery upon him for taking a place of nc»
consequence at all.
Though has proved of consequence, chance. Par
ticularly, that our fleet had thatport to go into to stop leaks, &c. afeer the late fight, wherein ourfleet suffered so much, that Sir Cloudefly fays in his letter, Godsend as: well home. believe we have not three spare top -masts, nor threesishes in the fleet, and judge there are ten jury top-map new up. Which makes good what the other letters (printed in the Review the late engagement at sea,
wrote from on board the
fleet
at Gibraltar, Mthe whither
4
1
it
of
I
by
it,
sequence at all ! though
TBe
REHEARSAL;
€i
fleet retimed after the stgbt) do tell us, p. 13, 14, and
16, tha: this was the sharpest engagement the English fleet ever had in memory of man. And all extol mightiL/ the valour as well as conduct of Sir George Rook. But Gibraltar ''was only an advantage by chance to our fleet- And so no thanks to Sir George for that. And hereafter it shall not be the door of the Levant, nor of any con
if we had not had it at this time, we should h;ve had a krge list of ships floundered At sea,
before they had reached a port.
C. Nor is that all. We have clawed off this Rook
another way. We have raised another battery against
Mm. He had better sight the Count de Tboulouse than
legion. We have lately published a lampoon against him, in the name of one William Colepeper, with this title,
a true state of the difference between Sir George Rook Knt. and William Colepeper &c. And this has been
carefully advertised and re-advertised every day, in the papers of ourscandalous club, such as Observator, Review, &c And in this Sir George is represented as a coward,
an eeffessinator, and what not.
O. I wish that had not been wrote, it has turned upon
us. Some call it the comical romance, and fay, there rs
nothing like it in Scarron. First this Colepeper is made
one of the Kentish petitioners, a. captain of legion, who' was censured by the house of commons. . Then for his prowess and skill in chivalry, it is faid of him, p. 38. wbobas read the history of Don QjUXOT. . And, p. 44. he fays, he is not a lunatick. . And, as a proof of it, feys p. 5, that he could never come up to any hard opinion
concerning Mr. De Foe, for his shortest way with the dissenters, in which case he was his council, amd solicitor to the queen on his behalf. And adds, W. C. is not
afraid of having his judgment called in question by asfirm ing, that the world has not in any age produced a man be yond Mr. De Foe, for his miraculous fancy, and lively in
vention in all his writings, both verse and prose.
C. No body will think him lunatick for this. For was it not a miraculous fancy, and lively mxw. 's'ow, which
the
€,£ The REHEARSAL. '
the 'world has not in any age produced, to write that short est way in a strain to be taken for a church-man; and thereby to render all the church-party the hatred and contempt of the nation, and expose them to thejustice of the mob, as men of blood and savage nature, bent whol
ly to destruction ? and our party gave it all about, that
it was wrote by the high-chui ch, and pretended to guest at some of them, and exclaimed at them on that ac count, over the whole tewn, insomuch, . hat cletgymen v/ere pointed at, ami it suited, as they walked along the
streets; and the mob vvtre prepared and ready to give the onset to all black gcwn: and crsso. ks And thou, master,
put in thy oar heartily, to the fame godly purpose, in thy Observator, Vol. i. N. 71. And madest the author a clergyman. And if the industry of Ld. N. had not found out the author, (for which we shall never forget him) this book had pasted cleverly upon the clergy, and we would have quoted. it against them to after ge nerations. Besides a handsome parcel of present mischief, in having the clergy mobb'd, &c. And mould W. 0.
come up to any herd opinion concerning Mr
. De Foe for all this? was not all this to aflert the cuthority, and reser every thing to the ultimate decifion of his beloved legion
anglice mob ? in behalf of which he presented a petition
to the house ofcommons, humbly praying, that they would
be pleased to give up their authority, and admit of ap peals from them to their original the mob.
Now, master, the high-flyers think there cannot be a greater proof of lunacy than this, to resolve all power in to the mob, to make them the original of government, and the government made accountable to them.
which head there are more mad than Will. Colepepcr.
But what is all this to a romance ? thou faid'st this called romance. Indeed the plot of the shortest way had not been spoiled, their would have been glorious romance! we should have had hacking work among the
parsons; like the mobhing of the clergy in Scotland, the beginning of this revolution. But there nofighting- dories in this comical romance that comical romance.
Upon,
?
if
is is a
a
a
fa- I
The REHEARSAL?
O. W. C. tells us he refused to sight Sir George in England, because the laws are against duelling, and when he had killed the knight, he might happen to be hanged for it. And, for the fame reason, he would not go to Holland, as Sir George would have had him. And
fays, p. 40. the danger fivm the halter, not from Sir George Rook'o sword was regarded by W. C. But he never intended to go {without provision for a retreat, aster the exploit ) into Holland, just to he hanged. Besides three
other considerable reasons given in the fame page in a
indeed !
or the worst on't.
I love whoever Jighting-stories, gets
6g the letter
letter from W. C. to Sir George.
1. Thatthe might blow him into France, where, no doubt, (fays he) due care ixiould be taken of me. 2. Lest Sir George should
get some body to throw him over-board by the way. I tell thee countryman, it 13 not every body would have had such fore-fight ! And 3/y, the notice was too short,
onYy a day and a half, whereas he should have had a fortnight. And Sir George being obliged to sail with the fleet, escaped, for that time, the rage of W. C. And it was well for him ! else he had never had another
wind
sea victory to brag of!
C. But what was the quarrel all this time ?
O. It was upon the common cause. For besides Sir George Rook his difappointing us once of a speaker we had made sure of; he opposed the clectian of W. C. or
any of the legionit-petitimers. Since which, we have
miffed no opportunity of venting our spleen against him. And when he was at the Bath in 1 703, we then sell up on him, and gave it out, that it was only a pretence to.
lave himself from going to sea. Then my Observators gave the word through the nation, how unjfrt he was to
be an admiral, reflecting both on his ourage and skill
ia sea-affairs.
Then W. C. coming in to help the cry,, asked at Wind
sor, what news from the fleet ? and in a scornful man ner, where Sir George Rook was ? &c. For which being Uken to task bv Sir Jacob Banks, W. . C. would have no
thing
The REHEARSAL;
€4
thing to do with him, because he was a Swee/e. And what good wou'd it do to W. C. to kill a Swede? Beside
that these Swedes are tough sellows. Therefore JV. £ . gave in a petition to the queen for protection, which, is in
serted p 7.
C. But was there no body else to vindicate Sir George
in this matter ?
O. Yes, twenty as W. C. tells, p. 22, 23, 40, isfc
C. But W. C. would not fight these twenty, for the fame reason he would not fight Sir George, for fear of the halter ! for if he had kilfd them all, he might have
been hang'd twenty times.
O. No. He would fight none of them. But he turn'd
this to a design of affaffination upon him. And so did tve all. In my Observator Vol. 3. N. 49. I call these,
the twenty commistioners ofthe b
l
o o d office. And N.
hope the twenty cut-throats don't defign to 46. I fay, / CulpepER
ajfajsinate me ; they had better go to sea, and the tount de Thoulouse.
C. This makes it plain whom you mean. But me- thinks it had been more like gentlemen for some of them to have challenge W. C. than for twenty to assassinate
him.
O. He was challeng'd, by one Mr. Britton. Butgave
for answer, p. 28. That aster he hadfought with Sir George Rook, he would fight with Mr. Britton. And p. 38. he gave the fame answer to one Mr. Denew, (who challeng'd him upon his own private account) that he had a quarrel with a greater person, and therefore would post-pone his quarrel with Mr. Denew, till SirG. R. had recei^dsatisfaction. And faid, he is W. C. 's se venth man towards another score. This was to fave himself from all other quarrels, upon what score soever. Like the bully, who when a challenge was brought him, took out his pocket-book, and faid, Sir, see here, I do
yourfriendright, I demanded it,
set down his name theseventh, from whom I have received challenges. And a man of honour is oblig'd to givesatisfaction sirst, to those who have sirst
C. Pox !
The REHEARSAL.
€5 C. Pox ! we shall have no' fighting at this rate, to the end of the world ! Your hero will not fight where there
is sear of a halter.
O. O, countryman, there is fighting and cuffing work,
at the end of the romance. But it is late now. must keep your curiofity till our next meeting.
And you
From Æat. Oct. 7, to •f>flt. Oct. 14, 1704. N° 11.
The Observator turn'd match-maker. The design of it. His opposition to the entail of the crown, as by law
efiabli/h'd. The reason of it.
\J
Coun. /~\TJT, out, get thee out thou kunops.
O. What name is that thou call'st me? C. Travel, and learn.
O. I see thou'rt angry. Come out with it. Let me know the worst on't.
C. That thou'lt surely know, if thou miss not thy de-
firti. Particularly for thy Observator of the 4th instant, Wednesday sinnight. Wherein thou turn'st match maker, with a •vengeance! And tak'st thou upon thee, like an impudent as thou art, to dispose osprinces and their marriages. And to determine who is to be queen of England, and bring heirs to the crown.
O. Are not we the original of government? even. thou and me, countryman. We make kings, and pull 'em down as we please. From us they hold the crowns they wear. Ana they are accountable /aus, as I fay in
my Observator, Vol. 2. N• 22. ter be depriv'd of all fewer, imprison d, depos'd, drawn through the streets, and cut to pieces, if we judge them guilty of treason against
us. And may not we then inter-meddle with their mar
I tell thee, countryman, these kings will growsauty upon our hands, and forget their distance, ifwe mind them not sometimes
riages, and every thing that belongs to them ?
of their original, and their obedience and duty to u s !
66 The REHEARS AL. '
But thou'rt a souce-crown. Thou can'st not see an bm into a mill-stone. Thou do'st not perceive the drift and defign of what I have done. And I have been put npon
it by wiser heads than mine. I Dos'nt thou remember of some body whom
Cincius Tuhvius of, afine clade victor, and so forth ? He's
now, unfortunately, got above us. Above our power, but not our malice. Therefore we must take another
way. We must now sooth and flatter him, and /e-adhim, ifwe can, because we cannot drivehim to his ruin. Since we cannot depress him, we'll strive to exalt him to a pre cipice, whence we may tumble him down with a greater
We'll betray him with a And if he bite at our or but seem to hearken to our project, he infal libly loses the high-church, as he is already, for ever, lost to the low, and to the dissenters.
fall.
made a
C. But dos'nt think he'll consider from whom soch i proposal comes ? from those who have done all they can to blacken him, and render him odious to all the nation,
as thou hast been employ d to do, and hast done with all thy- might ? It is an old faying, that the gifts ofenemies are to be suspected. I've heard a latin verse. Timeo Da- turn, & dona ferentes. They fay, if one accepts any
presents from a witch, her charms have power over him. O. All means must be try'd. This is the last card we have to play. If we don't catch him, we are caught our
lelves, past redemption.
But, countryman, this is but half, and not half our
This is but ashooing-horn, to bring about what we have been labouring at, ever since this reign ; and cou'd never sind a proper means to make it bear, Butnow we hope we have found it out. That to get the young
prince of Hanover over hither in this Queen's time That we may flock about him, as we did about Mommuth and carry him about to horse races, and such like things, all round England. And whoever shew not full popularity to him, we'll mark them as higb-tory-tantivy-mn and set the mob upon them. We'll have new of iworthy-men, and men-worthy.
When
slot.
a
list ;
: ;
is,
The REHEARSAL.
67
When we faw the late
period, of immortal memory, we publish 'd a book intituled,
Reasons for addressing his majesty to invite into England their highnesses the electress Dowager, and the electoral prince of'Hanover, &c. London, printed andfold by John Nntt near Stationers-hall, 1702. It was printed in Mi-
chaelmas-term, 1 70 1 ; and according to the custom of the booksellers in London, bears date the year following. There we set down the doughtiest of our reasons for a hill of exclufion against all the children of Tarquin, of which we propos'd aform, which begins thus, p. 1 7, // is our
pleasure, that /^Tarquins, with their whole Procenv be banistyd, &c. And p. 1 5, we fay, That all free peo ple have set afide the children of tyrants, for reasons of eternal and universal force.
This was pursuant to what was resolv'd in our noble
plot of' the Rye-house, wherein it was absolutely resolved to have nothing to do with the race of the Stuarts. As is told in the informations upon oath, annex'd to the account of that conspiracy, p. 134. .
But not being able to bring the house of commons to our project ; (they are our grand incumbrance ) we thought to persuade his glorious majesty to call over the electress Dowager, or young prince of Hanover, with all haste. But he was too cunning for us ; and did not care to put on his winding-sheet till he was dead; observing that maxim of his wise predecessor queen Elizabeth.
We gave a pretty handsome stroke too at some body's list at the close of that treatise for bringing over the prince
of Hanover, p. 20. Where we tell of horrible things, blind and clancular bargains; but Cæsar' J wife ought to be unsuspected, as well as innocent. Now our Cæsar's wife was dead long before. And in this paragraph xxxi . king William, and princess Anne are join'd together, and none spoke of but they two. And it is propos'd, that her royal highness the princess o/~Denmark (by name) shou'd be oblig'd to take the abjuration, for further se
curity.
glorious drawing near his
of
Bui
68 The REHEARSAL.
But alas ! we began too late, and our fate came os
too soon. For the eighth of March following was decreed
by destiny for the apotheofis of our glorious and immortal ; and the advancement of this devoted princess to the throne of her ancestors.
Then we were all in the sudds. And dreamt of nothing but of receivingour deserts. Then it was, that (as before rehears'd, Num. 5. ) I my self sell upon king William i and
his ministry, upon the legionites, and our quondam (and now again ) most noble patriots, who wrote the black Us, whom I then call'd execrable wretches : And call'd those worthy members of the house of commons, who were put into that lift, even Sir George Rook himself, who was one
of them. Being willing to eat up my own dung, or any thing, to fave my neck from that bow of a noose, and the n-arrow thou told'st me of. And so were/ v? e aH.
2fl&# devil was fick, the de&ll d monk woii Abe* (But when we hapry had proeurM*
Instead of hemp, to be preserr'd)
The devil grew well. The devil a monk •etrat-tii.
From that time forth, we have carry 'd on three grand deflgns.
First, Not only to get our selves into the ministry, but to thrust all others out.
For which end, the post was assigned to me (with some
assistants) to blacken and asperse ail of the ministry that were not whigs, from the lord high admiral downwards
And to run down the queen's hereditary right ; to placi her wholly upon the foot of the revolution ; and to up the depofing doctrine: And to make the revolution turn altogether upon that, and not upon the abdication', Rehearsal. N. 3. ) And this- means to persuade the £>ucen, that she was not safe in any Other hands, but those who thought lawful to dipose her, as they had done to her royal father and grand-father That she an
swerable for thesaults of her ministers Whom they have represented in blacker colours, and attack'd with greatei
(sei
:
:
it
by
is
of
set
TJie REHEARSAL.
6g
insolence, and more universally, than the ministry of any of her royal predecessors. Yet no danger to her for all this (
to break the church. For that And while the church stands, w*
not time yet, to attack the r/>acY/& donwright we have invented, and set abroad the distinc
tion of A/j and /irco church. First to divide them among
The second defign supports the crown.
can never r//5i. But because
themselves, as has done, to
great degree and then,
under this distinction, to give free vent to all that malice
can suggest against the church, her constitution, liturgy,
rites, and ceremonies And to beat down all from shew
ing any zeal or concern for the church, branding them
as high-sliers, which we call popishly-affcflcd.
But the and chief /&/Sg« to get the young
prince of Hanover, not his rand-mother, over hither; whom we hope to make the head of our league. And
this marriage will surely effect it. have already pub lish'd the banes of matrimony.
C. wish thee good luck. However, we'll see by this, how people take But some of us, master, make too much haste. They mayspoil all.
was last Michaelmas-day at Chippenham in Wiltshire, where the new «uzy»: or bailiff, or what d'ye call him, had upon the entrance into his office. And there
happena yra$fe 'twixt one of the high, and another of the l&w church. And swords were drawn, upon an odd occasion. About two months before, in club of our
fiiends, one IV——t fellorw of £f . —m college, drank this health, To the speedy accession the princess Hano ver to the throne of England. And to make caster that ter way might be pavd with the stulls of all the high church. One of the company having repeated this after wards, suppose thinking no harm being all way of
moderation And meeting at company, who was incens'd at it, was the occasion of the quarrel. wise about than before.
this feast with one
having made Which caus'd
of the noise,
greater
: it
I a
A;
it
;of Iis,
by
a by of a,
it
a
;
a
:
I a
it.
if
it
it is
g
a
is,
The REHEARSAL.
7o
O. O I hate these blabs, orfalse-brothers ; they have
a ruin'd many a good cause. But countryman, if it be so, we mull make tke greater haste, that we be not pre
vented.
G. I tell thee, Bays, thou art a blab too, or a
brother. And that upon a point, which will not only disgust the present government at us ! but make us enemies
to the ^oa/i of Hanover, and that illustrious succession. We shall be rogues on all hands, if thou clear not thy self and
»s in this matter. Thou hast asserted in thy Observattr (Vol. 2. N. 25. ) and sct'st it down as a principle, That r<g«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Because it is an
office, like that of the mayors orsheriffs; and therefore, that it must be always (if not annually) elective. Foi that, as thou fay'11, no office can be hereditary.
Now, master, hast not thou consider'd, that the sue-
cessipn upon the house of Hanover, being protestants, is an entail, and made hereditary? And here thou dedarst, that the ng«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Is not this a manisest arraigning the ofsuccession ; and so coming under the treason they are liable to who oppose it ? This is oppofing it in the very heart of in the whole
frame and constitution of it.
O. The truth on't countryman, we are against all
kings or queens. We are for our own /ij/s, a common- wealth against them all. But we must have king, we wou'd have an ehctive one, that he might the more
pend upon us. And the worfe title, always, with
us, the better king. Now when the prince of Hanover comes to the throne, in his own turn, according to law, he will
certainly insist upon his hereditary right. And shall be rebel then, as well as now. And intend it, if live
so long. For must be always true to my principles.
And, no doubt, he'll be for passive-obcdience, and the
old jure divino stuff. D'ye think, he'd be willing to
be deposed us, when we please he'll see us hangi sirst.
C. Why then art thou earnest to have him in before his turn
O. Be-
f
,a
.
so
is, if
by
I
?
I
I
it, a
I
de
The REHEARSAL. ji
O. Because it is before his turn. And so the less right F that. And we are all for the least right in our go- et-nours. Theirs is all derivative from us. We allow
F no original right, but only in the people to rebel. Besides, the osier we change our kings, the better, that hey may plead no prescription or inheritance. And we nay get something by every change. Some change or other to embrangle and confound. We love troubled •wa-
'ers* there are f/h to be caught.
From •Sat. Oct 14, to&at. August 21, 1704. Nei2.
Tbe conclusion ofthe comical romance. With the second part to the fame tune, by master Observator.
Coun. * 1 vHOU promis'dst me Saturday finnight, Ji that next meeting thou wou'dst give me the remainder of the comical romance, thou then began'st ; wherein there shou'd be some fighting and cuffing work. And last Saturday thou put'st me off with a story of a marriage thou had'st projected, or some body else for
thee. What's this tofighting?
O. O, Sir, the most that can be. For,
Just so romances are, for what else Is in them all, but love and battles ?
Having then begun the amour intrigue, we'll go oa to
for that follows next in order.
We left off at William Cikpepcr'% refusing the challenge
of Mr. Dencw, upon a private quarrel of his own, till he had sirst fought Sir George Rook ; whom he never intended to fight, either in England, Holland, or any place else,
where there was any danger of a halter. Besides another
considerable reason which he gives, in his fore-mention'd
flate ofthe difference, Sec. p. 38. That Mr. Denew was, A man more than commonly jkiWd in fencing. And W. C. would fight no man that had more//// than himself.
f-ghting,
The REHEARSAL
I have bestow'd my oaken-towel upon his bones. for
72
C. If any man had given me such an ans'ver,
woul ht
that will not Jight, has the privilege of being Beaten.
O. Mr. Denew took the fame course. And meeds! W-C in the street, laid on him with his cane.
English forces iVSpiin were within fifty miles of Gibral tar in the Streights Mouth, which they may eafily make
themselves inlaffer* of, after the reducement of Cadiz : ever against Gibraltar, on the heathen shore, lies Ceuta
,a SyaiiiRi garifon, which has been so long befieged by the Moors ; a Jme. ll party of men would be sufficient to take this place ; for the Moors would willingly assist the English in this enterpria ; cut ofrevenge upon the Spaniards ; and if we had this place also, then we hold the door of the
Levant in our hands ?
Now, master, if Gibraltar was then the door, or one
iuM ol the folding-door of the Levant; what makes it not be fo now?
O. Because then it was not taken by Sir George Rook. And because now it is. We were then ridiculing his expedition to Cadiz, and Vigo, And this was one article
against him, why he did not take Gibraltar, a place of
such mighty consequence. But now we make ajest of and shewed our raillery upon him for taking a place of nc»
consequence at all.
Though has proved of consequence, chance. Par
ticularly, that our fleet had thatport to go into to stop leaks, &c. afeer the late fight, wherein ourfleet suffered so much, that Sir Cloudefly fays in his letter, Godsend as: well home. believe we have not three spare top -masts, nor threesishes in the fleet, and judge there are ten jury top-map new up. Which makes good what the other letters (printed in the Review the late engagement at sea,
wrote from on board the
fleet
at Gibraltar, Mthe whither
4
1
it
of
I
by
it,
sequence at all ! though
TBe
REHEARSAL;
€i
fleet retimed after the stgbt) do tell us, p. 13, 14, and
16, tha: this was the sharpest engagement the English fleet ever had in memory of man. And all extol mightiL/ the valour as well as conduct of Sir George Rook. But Gibraltar ''was only an advantage by chance to our fleet- And so no thanks to Sir George for that. And hereafter it shall not be the door of the Levant, nor of any con
if we had not had it at this time, we should h;ve had a krge list of ships floundered At sea,
before they had reached a port.
C. Nor is that all. We have clawed off this Rook
another way. We have raised another battery against
Mm. He had better sight the Count de Tboulouse than
legion. We have lately published a lampoon against him, in the name of one William Colepeper, with this title,
a true state of the difference between Sir George Rook Knt. and William Colepeper &c. And this has been
carefully advertised and re-advertised every day, in the papers of ourscandalous club, such as Observator, Review, &c And in this Sir George is represented as a coward,
an eeffessinator, and what not.
O. I wish that had not been wrote, it has turned upon
us. Some call it the comical romance, and fay, there rs
nothing like it in Scarron. First this Colepeper is made
one of the Kentish petitioners, a. captain of legion, who' was censured by the house of commons. . Then for his prowess and skill in chivalry, it is faid of him, p. 38. wbobas read the history of Don QjUXOT. . And, p. 44. he fays, he is not a lunatick. . And, as a proof of it, feys p. 5, that he could never come up to any hard opinion
concerning Mr. De Foe, for his shortest way with the dissenters, in which case he was his council, amd solicitor to the queen on his behalf. And adds, W. C. is not
afraid of having his judgment called in question by asfirm ing, that the world has not in any age produced a man be yond Mr. De Foe, for his miraculous fancy, and lively in
vention in all his writings, both verse and prose.
C. No body will think him lunatick for this. For was it not a miraculous fancy, and lively mxw. 's'ow, which
the
€,£ The REHEARSAL. '
the 'world has not in any age produced, to write that short est way in a strain to be taken for a church-man; and thereby to render all the church-party the hatred and contempt of the nation, and expose them to thejustice of the mob, as men of blood and savage nature, bent whol
ly to destruction ? and our party gave it all about, that
it was wrote by the high-chui ch, and pretended to guest at some of them, and exclaimed at them on that ac count, over the whole tewn, insomuch, . hat cletgymen v/ere pointed at, ami it suited, as they walked along the
streets; and the mob vvtre prepared and ready to give the onset to all black gcwn: and crsso. ks And thou, master,
put in thy oar heartily, to the fame godly purpose, in thy Observator, Vol. i. N. 71. And madest the author a clergyman. And if the industry of Ld. N. had not found out the author, (for which we shall never forget him) this book had pasted cleverly upon the clergy, and we would have quoted. it against them to after ge nerations. Besides a handsome parcel of present mischief, in having the clergy mobb'd, &c. And mould W. 0.
come up to any herd opinion concerning Mr
. De Foe for all this? was not all this to aflert the cuthority, and reser every thing to the ultimate decifion of his beloved legion
anglice mob ? in behalf of which he presented a petition
to the house ofcommons, humbly praying, that they would
be pleased to give up their authority, and admit of ap peals from them to their original the mob.
Now, master, the high-flyers think there cannot be a greater proof of lunacy than this, to resolve all power in to the mob, to make them the original of government, and the government made accountable to them.
which head there are more mad than Will. Colepepcr.
But what is all this to a romance ? thou faid'st this called romance. Indeed the plot of the shortest way had not been spoiled, their would have been glorious romance! we should have had hacking work among the
parsons; like the mobhing of the clergy in Scotland, the beginning of this revolution. But there nofighting- dories in this comical romance that comical romance.
Upon,
?
if
is is a
a
a
fa- I
The REHEARSAL?
O. W. C. tells us he refused to sight Sir George in England, because the laws are against duelling, and when he had killed the knight, he might happen to be hanged for it. And, for the fame reason, he would not go to Holland, as Sir George would have had him. And
fays, p. 40. the danger fivm the halter, not from Sir George Rook'o sword was regarded by W. C. But he never intended to go {without provision for a retreat, aster the exploit ) into Holland, just to he hanged. Besides three
other considerable reasons given in the fame page in a
indeed !
or the worst on't.
I love whoever Jighting-stories, gets
6g the letter
letter from W. C. to Sir George.
1. Thatthe might blow him into France, where, no doubt, (fays he) due care ixiould be taken of me. 2. Lest Sir George should
get some body to throw him over-board by the way. I tell thee countryman, it 13 not every body would have had such fore-fight ! And 3/y, the notice was too short,
onYy a day and a half, whereas he should have had a fortnight. And Sir George being obliged to sail with the fleet, escaped, for that time, the rage of W. C. And it was well for him ! else he had never had another
wind
sea victory to brag of!
C. But what was the quarrel all this time ?
O. It was upon the common cause. For besides Sir George Rook his difappointing us once of a speaker we had made sure of; he opposed the clectian of W. C. or
any of the legionit-petitimers. Since which, we have
miffed no opportunity of venting our spleen against him. And when he was at the Bath in 1 703, we then sell up on him, and gave it out, that it was only a pretence to.
lave himself from going to sea. Then my Observators gave the word through the nation, how unjfrt he was to
be an admiral, reflecting both on his ourage and skill
ia sea-affairs.
Then W. C. coming in to help the cry,, asked at Wind
sor, what news from the fleet ? and in a scornful man ner, where Sir George Rook was ? &c. For which being Uken to task bv Sir Jacob Banks, W. . C. would have no
thing
The REHEARSAL;
€4
thing to do with him, because he was a Swee/e. And what good wou'd it do to W. C. to kill a Swede? Beside
that these Swedes are tough sellows. Therefore JV. £ . gave in a petition to the queen for protection, which, is in
serted p 7.
C. But was there no body else to vindicate Sir George
in this matter ?
O. Yes, twenty as W. C. tells, p. 22, 23, 40, isfc
C. But W. C. would not fight these twenty, for the fame reason he would not fight Sir George, for fear of the halter ! for if he had kilfd them all, he might have
been hang'd twenty times.
O. No. He would fight none of them. But he turn'd
this to a design of affaffination upon him. And so did tve all. In my Observator Vol. 3. N. 49. I call these,
the twenty commistioners ofthe b
l
o o d office. And N.
hope the twenty cut-throats don't defign to 46. I fay, / CulpepER
ajfajsinate me ; they had better go to sea, and the tount de Thoulouse.
C. This makes it plain whom you mean. But me- thinks it had been more like gentlemen for some of them to have challenge W. C. than for twenty to assassinate
him.
O. He was challeng'd, by one Mr. Britton. Butgave
for answer, p. 28. That aster he hadfought with Sir George Rook, he would fight with Mr. Britton. And p. 38. he gave the fame answer to one Mr. Denew, (who challeng'd him upon his own private account) that he had a quarrel with a greater person, and therefore would post-pone his quarrel with Mr. Denew, till SirG. R. had recei^dsatisfaction. And faid, he is W. C. 's se venth man towards another score. This was to fave himself from all other quarrels, upon what score soever. Like the bully, who when a challenge was brought him, took out his pocket-book, and faid, Sir, see here, I do
yourfriendright, I demanded it,
set down his name theseventh, from whom I have received challenges. And a man of honour is oblig'd to givesatisfaction sirst, to those who have sirst
C. Pox !
The REHEARSAL.
€5 C. Pox ! we shall have no' fighting at this rate, to the end of the world ! Your hero will not fight where there
is sear of a halter.
O. O, countryman, there is fighting and cuffing work,
at the end of the romance. But it is late now. must keep your curiofity till our next meeting.
And you
From Æat. Oct. 7, to •f>flt. Oct. 14, 1704. N° 11.
The Observator turn'd match-maker. The design of it. His opposition to the entail of the crown, as by law
efiabli/h'd. The reason of it.
\J
Coun. /~\TJT, out, get thee out thou kunops.
O. What name is that thou call'st me? C. Travel, and learn.
O. I see thou'rt angry. Come out with it. Let me know the worst on't.
C. That thou'lt surely know, if thou miss not thy de-
firti. Particularly for thy Observator of the 4th instant, Wednesday sinnight. Wherein thou turn'st match maker, with a •vengeance! And tak'st thou upon thee, like an impudent as thou art, to dispose osprinces and their marriages. And to determine who is to be queen of England, and bring heirs to the crown.
O. Are not we the original of government? even. thou and me, countryman. We make kings, and pull 'em down as we please. From us they hold the crowns they wear. Ana they are accountable /aus, as I fay in
my Observator, Vol. 2. N• 22. ter be depriv'd of all fewer, imprison d, depos'd, drawn through the streets, and cut to pieces, if we judge them guilty of treason against
us. And may not we then inter-meddle with their mar
I tell thee, countryman, these kings will growsauty upon our hands, and forget their distance, ifwe mind them not sometimes
riages, and every thing that belongs to them ?
of their original, and their obedience and duty to u s !
66 The REHEARS AL. '
But thou'rt a souce-crown. Thou can'st not see an bm into a mill-stone. Thou do'st not perceive the drift and defign of what I have done. And I have been put npon
it by wiser heads than mine. I Dos'nt thou remember of some body whom
Cincius Tuhvius of, afine clade victor, and so forth ? He's
now, unfortunately, got above us. Above our power, but not our malice. Therefore we must take another
way. We must now sooth and flatter him, and /e-adhim, ifwe can, because we cannot drivehim to his ruin. Since we cannot depress him, we'll strive to exalt him to a pre cipice, whence we may tumble him down with a greater
We'll betray him with a And if he bite at our or but seem to hearken to our project, he infal libly loses the high-church, as he is already, for ever, lost to the low, and to the dissenters.
fall.
made a
C. But dos'nt think he'll consider from whom soch i proposal comes ? from those who have done all they can to blacken him, and render him odious to all the nation,
as thou hast been employ d to do, and hast done with all thy- might ? It is an old faying, that the gifts ofenemies are to be suspected. I've heard a latin verse. Timeo Da- turn, & dona ferentes. They fay, if one accepts any
presents from a witch, her charms have power over him. O. All means must be try'd. This is the last card we have to play. If we don't catch him, we are caught our
lelves, past redemption.
But, countryman, this is but half, and not half our
This is but ashooing-horn, to bring about what we have been labouring at, ever since this reign ; and cou'd never sind a proper means to make it bear, Butnow we hope we have found it out. That to get the young
prince of Hanover over hither in this Queen's time That we may flock about him, as we did about Mommuth and carry him about to horse races, and such like things, all round England. And whoever shew not full popularity to him, we'll mark them as higb-tory-tantivy-mn and set the mob upon them. We'll have new of iworthy-men, and men-worthy.
When
slot.
a
list ;
: ;
is,
The REHEARSAL.
67
When we faw the late
period, of immortal memory, we publish 'd a book intituled,
Reasons for addressing his majesty to invite into England their highnesses the electress Dowager, and the electoral prince of'Hanover, &c. London, printed andfold by John Nntt near Stationers-hall, 1702. It was printed in Mi-
chaelmas-term, 1 70 1 ; and according to the custom of the booksellers in London, bears date the year following. There we set down the doughtiest of our reasons for a hill of exclufion against all the children of Tarquin, of which we propos'd aform, which begins thus, p. 1 7, // is our
pleasure, that /^Tarquins, with their whole Procenv be banistyd, &c. And p. 1 5, we fay, That all free peo ple have set afide the children of tyrants, for reasons of eternal and universal force.
This was pursuant to what was resolv'd in our noble
plot of' the Rye-house, wherein it was absolutely resolved to have nothing to do with the race of the Stuarts. As is told in the informations upon oath, annex'd to the account of that conspiracy, p. 134. .
But not being able to bring the house of commons to our project ; (they are our grand incumbrance ) we thought to persuade his glorious majesty to call over the electress Dowager, or young prince of Hanover, with all haste. But he was too cunning for us ; and did not care to put on his winding-sheet till he was dead; observing that maxim of his wise predecessor queen Elizabeth.
We gave a pretty handsome stroke too at some body's list at the close of that treatise for bringing over the prince
of Hanover, p. 20. Where we tell of horrible things, blind and clancular bargains; but Cæsar' J wife ought to be unsuspected, as well as innocent. Now our Cæsar's wife was dead long before. And in this paragraph xxxi . king William, and princess Anne are join'd together, and none spoke of but they two. And it is propos'd, that her royal highness the princess o/~Denmark (by name) shou'd be oblig'd to take the abjuration, for further se
curity.
glorious drawing near his
of
Bui
68 The REHEARSAL.
But alas ! we began too late, and our fate came os
too soon. For the eighth of March following was decreed
by destiny for the apotheofis of our glorious and immortal ; and the advancement of this devoted princess to the throne of her ancestors.
Then we were all in the sudds. And dreamt of nothing but of receivingour deserts. Then it was, that (as before rehears'd, Num. 5. ) I my self sell upon king William i and
his ministry, upon the legionites, and our quondam (and now again ) most noble patriots, who wrote the black Us, whom I then call'd execrable wretches : And call'd those worthy members of the house of commons, who were put into that lift, even Sir George Rook himself, who was one
of them. Being willing to eat up my own dung, or any thing, to fave my neck from that bow of a noose, and the n-arrow thou told'st me of. And so were/ v? e aH.
2fl&# devil was fick, the de&ll d monk woii Abe* (But when we hapry had proeurM*
Instead of hemp, to be preserr'd)
The devil grew well. The devil a monk •etrat-tii.
From that time forth, we have carry 'd on three grand deflgns.
First, Not only to get our selves into the ministry, but to thrust all others out.
For which end, the post was assigned to me (with some
assistants) to blacken and asperse ail of the ministry that were not whigs, from the lord high admiral downwards
And to run down the queen's hereditary right ; to placi her wholly upon the foot of the revolution ; and to up the depofing doctrine: And to make the revolution turn altogether upon that, and not upon the abdication', Rehearsal. N. 3. ) And this- means to persuade the £>ucen, that she was not safe in any Other hands, but those who thought lawful to dipose her, as they had done to her royal father and grand-father That she an
swerable for thesaults of her ministers Whom they have represented in blacker colours, and attack'd with greatei
(sei
:
:
it
by
is
of
set
TJie REHEARSAL.
6g
insolence, and more universally, than the ministry of any of her royal predecessors. Yet no danger to her for all this (
to break the church. For that And while the church stands, w*
not time yet, to attack the r/>acY/& donwright we have invented, and set abroad the distinc
tion of A/j and /irco church. First to divide them among
The second defign supports the crown.
can never r//5i. But because
themselves, as has done, to
great degree and then,
under this distinction, to give free vent to all that malice
can suggest against the church, her constitution, liturgy,
rites, and ceremonies And to beat down all from shew
ing any zeal or concern for the church, branding them
as high-sliers, which we call popishly-affcflcd.
But the and chief /&/Sg« to get the young
prince of Hanover, not his rand-mother, over hither; whom we hope to make the head of our league. And
this marriage will surely effect it. have already pub lish'd the banes of matrimony.
C. wish thee good luck. However, we'll see by this, how people take But some of us, master, make too much haste. They mayspoil all.
was last Michaelmas-day at Chippenham in Wiltshire, where the new «uzy»: or bailiff, or what d'ye call him, had upon the entrance into his office. And there
happena yra$fe 'twixt one of the high, and another of the l&w church. And swords were drawn, upon an odd occasion. About two months before, in club of our
fiiends, one IV——t fellorw of £f . —m college, drank this health, To the speedy accession the princess Hano ver to the throne of England. And to make caster that ter way might be pavd with the stulls of all the high church. One of the company having repeated this after wards, suppose thinking no harm being all way of
moderation And meeting at company, who was incens'd at it, was the occasion of the quarrel. wise about than before.
this feast with one
having made Which caus'd
of the noise,
greater
: it
I a
A;
it
;of Iis,
by
a by of a,
it
a
;
a
:
I a
it.
if
it
it is
g
a
is,
The REHEARSAL.
7o
O. O I hate these blabs, orfalse-brothers ; they have
a ruin'd many a good cause. But countryman, if it be so, we mull make tke greater haste, that we be not pre
vented.
G. I tell thee, Bays, thou art a blab too, or a
brother. And that upon a point, which will not only disgust the present government at us ! but make us enemies
to the ^oa/i of Hanover, and that illustrious succession. We shall be rogues on all hands, if thou clear not thy self and
»s in this matter. Thou hast asserted in thy Observattr (Vol. 2. N. 25. ) and sct'st it down as a principle, That r<g«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Because it is an
office, like that of the mayors orsheriffs; and therefore, that it must be always (if not annually) elective. Foi that, as thou fay'11, no office can be hereditary.
Now, master, hast not thou consider'd, that the sue-
cessipn upon the house of Hanover, being protestants, is an entail, and made hereditary? And here thou dedarst, that the ng«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Is not this a manisest arraigning the ofsuccession ; and so coming under the treason they are liable to who oppose it ? This is oppofing it in the very heart of in the whole
frame and constitution of it.
O. The truth on't countryman, we are against all
kings or queens. We are for our own /ij/s, a common- wealth against them all. But we must have king, we wou'd have an ehctive one, that he might the more
pend upon us. And the worfe title, always, with
us, the better king. Now when the prince of Hanover comes to the throne, in his own turn, according to law, he will
certainly insist upon his hereditary right. And shall be rebel then, as well as now. And intend it, if live
so long. For must be always true to my principles.
And, no doubt, he'll be for passive-obcdience, and the
old jure divino stuff. D'ye think, he'd be willing to
be deposed us, when we please he'll see us hangi sirst.
C. Why then art thou earnest to have him in before his turn
O. Be-
f
,a
.
so
is, if
by
I
?
I
I
it, a
I
de
The REHEARSAL. ji
O. Because it is before his turn. And so the less right F that. And we are all for the least right in our go- et-nours. Theirs is all derivative from us. We allow
F no original right, but only in the people to rebel. Besides, the osier we change our kings, the better, that hey may plead no prescription or inheritance. And we nay get something by every change. Some change or other to embrangle and confound. We love troubled •wa-
'ers* there are f/h to be caught.
From •Sat. Oct 14, to&at. August 21, 1704. Nei2.
Tbe conclusion ofthe comical romance. With the second part to the fame tune, by master Observator.
Coun. * 1 vHOU promis'dst me Saturday finnight, Ji that next meeting thou wou'dst give me the remainder of the comical romance, thou then began'st ; wherein there shou'd be some fighting and cuffing work. And last Saturday thou put'st me off with a story of a marriage thou had'st projected, or some body else for
thee. What's this tofighting?
O. O, Sir, the most that can be. For,
Just so romances are, for what else Is in them all, but love and battles ?
Having then begun the amour intrigue, we'll go oa to
for that follows next in order.
We left off at William Cikpepcr'% refusing the challenge
of Mr. Dencw, upon a private quarrel of his own, till he had sirst fought Sir George Rook ; whom he never intended to fight, either in England, Holland, or any place else,
where there was any danger of a halter. Besides another
considerable reason which he gives, in his fore-mention'd
flate ofthe difference, Sec. p. 38. That Mr. Denew was, A man more than commonly jkiWd in fencing. And W. C. would fight no man that had more//// than himself.
f-ghting,
The REHEARSAL
I have bestow'd my oaken-towel upon his bones. for
72
C. If any man had given me such an ans'ver,
woul ht
that will not Jight, has the privilege of being Beaten.
O. Mr. Denew took the fame course. And meeds! W-C in the street, laid on him with his cane.
