No More Learning

And the men of Juda stood around him;
they stood high and he lay low, and they had saved their souls.
But when the King was carried out, one of the Maccabæan
warriors recognized Assar and cried out, "Thou hast offered up
sacrifices to idols, and from thee have come the evil counsels
which have cost precious blood! Thou shalt be wiped off the
earth! "
He drew his sword and aimed at him, but Mirjam, who had
come up, threw herself between them with the cry, "He called
forth Israel's God! " And the steel which was meant for him
pierced her.
Translated for A Library of the World's Best Literature,' by Olga Flinch.


## p. 6500 (#487) ###########################################



## p. 6500 (#488) ###########################################


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## p. 6501 (#491) ###########################################

6501
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
(1728-1774)
BY CHARLES MILLS GAYLEY
LIVER GOLDSMITH was born at Pallas, County Longford, Ire-
land, November 10th, 1728. That was the year in which
Pope issued his 'Dunciad,' Gay his 'Beggar's Opera,' and
Thomson his 'Spring. ' Goldsmith's father was a clergyman of the
Established Church. In 1730 the family removed to Lissoy, a better
living than that of Pallas. Oliver's school days in and around West-
meath were unsatisfactory; so also his course at Trinity, 1744 to 1749.
For the next two years he loafed at Ballymahon, living on his mother,
then a widow, and making vain attempts to take orders, to teach, to
enter a law course, to sail for America. He was a bad sixpence.
Finally his uncle Contarine, who saw good stuff in the awkward,
ugly, humorous, and reckless youth, got him off to Edinburgh, where
he studied medicine till 1754.
In 1754 he is studying, or pretending to study, at Leyden. In 1755
and 1756 he is singing, fluting, and otherwise "beating" his way
through Europe, whence he returns with a mythical M. B. degree.
From 1756 to 1759 he is in London, teaching, serving an apothecary,
practicing medicine, reading proof, writing as a hack, planning to prac-
tice surgery in Coromandel, failing to qualify as a hospital mate, and
in general only not starving. In 1759 Dr. Percy finds him in Green
Arbor Court amid a colony of washerwomen, writing an 'Enquiry
into the Present State of Polite Learning in Europe. ' Next follows
the appearance of that work, and his acquaintance with publishers
and men of letters. In 1761, with Percy, comes Johnson to visit him.
In 1764 Goldsmith is one of the members of the famous Literary Club,
where he counts among his friends, besides Percy and Johnson, Rey-
nolds, Boswell, Garrick, Burke, and others who shone with their own
or reflected light. The rest of his life, spent principally in or near
London, is associated with his literary career. He died April 4th,
1774, and was buried near the Temple Church.
Goldsmith was an essayist and critic, a story-writer, a poet, a
comic dramatist, and a literary drudge: the last all the time, the
others "between whiles. " His drudgery produced such works as the
'Memoirs of Voltaire,' the Life of Nash,' two Histories of England,
Histories of Rome and Greece, Lives of Parnell and Bolingbroke.


## p. 6502 (#492) ###########################################

6502
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
The History of Animated Nature' was undertaken as an industry,
but it reads, as Johnson said, "like a Persian tale,”—and of course,
the more Persian the less like nature. For the prose of Goldsmith
writing for a suit of clothes or for immortality is all of a piece,
inimitable. "Nothing," says he, in his 'Essay on Taste,' "has been
so often explained, and yet so little understood, as simplicity in writ-
ing.
It is no other than beautiful nature, without affectation
or extraneous ornament. "
This ingenuous elegance is the accent of Goldsmith's work in
verse and prose. It is nature improved, not from without but by
exquisite and esoteric art, the better to prove its innate virtue and
display its artless charm. Such a style is based upon a delicate
"sensibility to the graces of natural and moral beauty and decorum. "
Hence the ideographic power, the directness, the sympathy, the
lambent humor that characterize the Essays,' the 'Vicar,' the 'De-
serted Village,' and 'She Stoops to Conquer. ' This is the "plain
language of ancient faith and sincerity" that, pretending to no
novelty, renovated the prose of the eighteenth century, knocked the
stilts from under Addison and Steele, tipped half the Latinity out of
Johnson, and readjusted his ballast. Goldsmith goes without sprawl-
ing or tiptoeing; he sails without rolling. He borrows the careless-
ness but not the ostentation of the Spectator; the dignity but not the
ponderosity of 'Rasselas'; and produces the prose of natural ease,
the sweetest English of the century. It in turn prefaced the way
for Charles Lamb, Hunt, and Sydney Smith. "It were to be wished
that we no longer found pleasure with the inflated style," writes
Goldsmith in his 'Polite Learning. "We should dispense with loaded
epithet and dressing up trifles with dignity.
Let us, instead
of writing finely, try to write naturally; not hunt after lofty expres-
sions to deliver mean ideas, nor be forever gaping when we only
mean to deliver a whisper. "
•
Just this naturalness constitutes the charm of the essay on 'The
Bee' (1759), and of the essays collected in 1765. We do not read him
for information: whether he knows more or less of his subject,
whether he writes of Charles XII. , or Dress, the Opera, Poetry, or
Education, we read him for simplicity and humor. Still, his critical
estimates, while they may not always square with ours, evince not
only good sense and æsthetic principle, but a range of reading not
at all ordinary. When he condemns Hamlet's great soliloquy we may
smile, but in judicial respect for the father of our drama he yields to
none of his contemporaries. The selections that he includes in his
'Beauties of English Poetry' would argue a conventional taste; but in
his Essay on Poetry Distinguished from the Other Arts,' he not only
defines poetry in terms that might content the Wordsworthians, he


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OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6503
also to a certain extent anticipates Wordsworth's estimate of poetic
figures.
While he makes no violent breach with the classical school, he
prophesies the critical doctrine of the nineteenth century. He calls
for the "energetic language of simple nature, which is now grown
into disrepute. " "If the production does not keep nature in view, it
will be destitute of truth and probability, without which the beauties
of imitation cannot subsist. " Still he by no means falls into the
quagmire of realism. For, continues he, "if on the other hand the
imitation is so close as to be mistaken for nature, the pleasure will
then cease, because the piunois, or imitation, no longer appears. "
Even when wrong, Goldsmith is generally half-way right; and this
is especially true of the critical judgments contained in his first pub-
lished book. The impudence of The Enquiry' (1759) is delicious.
What this young Irishman, fluting it through Europe some five years
before, had not learned about the 'Condition of Polite Learning' in
its principal countries, might fill a ponderous folio. What he did
learn, eked out with harmless misstatement, flashes of inspiration, and
a clever argument to prove that criticism has always been the foe of
letters, managed to fill a respectable duodecimo, and brought him to
the notice of publishers and scholars.
The essay has catholicity, independence, and wit, and it carries
itself with whimsical ease. Every sentence steps out sprightly. Of
the French Encyclopédies: "Wits and dunces contribute their share,
and Diderot as well as Desmaretz are candidates for oblivion. The
genius of the first supplies the gale of favor, and the latter adds the
useful ballast of stupidity. " Of the Germans: "They write through
volumes, while they do not think through a page.
Were an-
gels to write books, they never would write folios. " And again: “If
criticism could have improved the taste of a people, the Germans
would have been the most polite nation alive. " That settles the En-
cyclopedias and the Germans. So each nationality is sententiously
reviewed and dismissed with an epigram that even to-day sounds
not altogether unjust, rather amusing and urbane than acrimonious.
But it was not until Goldsmith began the series of letters in the
Public Ledger (1760), that was afterwards published as 'The Citizen
of the World,' that he took London. These letters purport to be
from a philosophic Chinaman in Europe to his friends at home.
Grave, gay, serene, ironical, they were at once an amusing image
and a genial censor of current manners and morals. They are no
less creative than critical; equally classic for the characters they
contain: the Gentleman in Black, Beau Tibbs and his wife, the
pawnbroker's widow, Tim Syllabub, and the procession of minor per-
sonages, romantic or ridiculous, but unique,- equally classic for these
·
•


## p. 6504 (#494) ###########################################

6504
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
characters and for the satire of the conception. These are Gold-
smith's best sketches. Though the prose is not always precise, it
seems to be clear, and is simple. The writer cares more for the
judicious than the sublime; for the quaint, the comic, and the agree-
able than the pathetic. He chuckles with sly laughter-genial, sym-
pathetic; he looses his arrow phosphorescent with wit, but not barbed,
dipped in something subacid, - straight for the heart. Not Irving
alone, but Thackeray, stands in line of descent from the Goldsmith
of the Citizen. '
'The Traveller,' polished ad unguem, appeared in 1764, and placed
Goldsmith in the first rank of poets then living; but of that later.
There is good reason for believing that his masterpiece in prose,
'The Vicar of Wakefield,' had been written as early as 1762, although
it was not published until 1766. It made Goldsmith's mark as a story-
teller. One can readily imagine how, after the grim humor of Smol-
lett, the broad and risqué realism of Fielding, the loitering of Sterne,
and the moralizing of Richardson, the public would seize with a
sense of relief upon this unpretentious chronicle of a country clergy-
man's life: his peaceful home, its ruin, its restoration. Not because
the narrative was quieter and simpler, shorter and more direct than
other narratives, but because to its humor, realism, grace, and depth
it added the charity of First Corinthians Thirteenth. England soon
discovered that the borders of the humanities had been extended;
that the Vicar and his "durable" wife, Moses, Olivia with the pre-
natal tendency to romance, Sophia, the graceless Jenkinson,-the
habit and temper of the whole,- were a new province. The prose
idyl, with all its beauty and charity, does not entitle Goldsmith to
rank with the great novelists; but of its kind, in spite of faults of
inaccuracy, improbability, and impossibility, it is first and best. Goethe
read and re-read it with moral and æsthetic benefit; and the spirit
of Goldsmith is not far to seek in 'Hermann and Dorothea. ' The
Vicar is perhaps the most popular of English classics in foreign
lands.
In poetry, if Goldsmith did not write much, it was for lack of
opportunity. What he did write is good, nearly all of it.
The phi-
losophy of The Traveller' (1764) and the political economy of The
Deserted Village' (1770) may be dubious, but the poetry is true.
There is in both a heartiness which discards the formalized emotion,
prefers the touch of nature and the homely adjective. The char-
acteristic is almost feminine in the description of Auburn: "Dear
lovely bowers"; it is inevitable, artless, in 'The Traveller': "His
first, best country ever is at home. " But on the other hand, the
curiosa felicitas marks every line, the nice selection of just the word
or phrase richest in association, redolent of tradition, harmonious,


## p. 6505 (#495) ###########################################

OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6505
classically proper, but still natural, true, and apt. "My heart un-
travell'd fondly turns to thee" - not a word but is hearty; and for
all that, the line is stamped with the academic authority of centuries:
"Cœlum, non animum mutant, qui trans mare currunt. " Both poems
are characterized by the infrequency of epithet and figure, the infre-
quency that marks sincerity and that heightens pleasure,—and by a
cunning in the use of proper names, resonant, remote, suggestive:
"On Idra's cliffs or Arno's shelvy side," the cunning of a musical
poem. Both poems vibrate with personality, recall the experience
of the writer. It would be hard to choose between them; but The
Deserted Village' strikes the homelier chord, comes nearer, with its
natural pathos, its sidelong smile, and its perennial novelty, to the
heart of him who knows.
Goldsmith is less eloquent but more natural than Dryden, less
precise but more simple than Pope. In poetic sensibility he has the
advantage of both. Were the volume of his verse not so slight, were
his conceptions more sublime, and their embodiment more epic or
dramatic, he might rank with the greatest of his century. As it is,
in imaginative insight he has no superior in the eighteenth century;
in observation, pathos, representative power, no equal: Dryden, Pope,
Gray, Thomson, Young,-none but Collins approaches him. The
reflective or descriptive poem can of course not compete with the
drama, epic, or even lyric of corresponding merit in its respective
kind. But Goldsmith's poems are the best of their kind, better than
all but the best in other kinds. His conception of life is more gen-
erous and direct, hence truer and gentler, than that of the Augustan
age. Raising no revolt against classical principles, he rejects the
artifices of decadent classicism, returns to nature, and expresses it
simply. He is consequently in this respect the harbinger of Cowper,
Crabbe, Bloomfield, Clare, Wordsworth, and Coleridge. In technique
also he breaks away from Pope. His larger movement, his easier
modulation, his richer tone, his rarer epithet and epigram, his meta-
phor "glowing from the heart," mark the defection from the poetry
of cold conceit.
For lack of space we can only refer to the romantic quality of his
ballad 'Edwin and Angelina' (1765), the spontaneous humor of 'The
Haunch of Venison,' and the exquisite satire of 'Retaliation' (1774).
To appreciate the historical position of Goldsmith's comedies, one
must regard them as a reaction against the school that had held the
stage since the beginning of the century a "genteel" and "senti-
mental" school, fearing to expose vice or ridicule absurdity. But
Goldsmith felt that absurdity was the comic poet's game. Reverting
therefore to Farquhar and the Comedy of Manners, he revived that
species, at the same time infusing a strain of the "humors" of the
----


## p. 6506 (#496) ###########################################

6506
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
tribe of Ben. Hence the approbation that welcomed his first comedy,
and the applause that greeted the second. For The Good-natured
Man' (1768) and She Stoops to Conquer (1773) did by example what
Hugh Kelly's 'Piety in Pattens' aimed to do by ridicule,- ousted
the hybrid comedy (tradesman's tragedy, Voltaire called it) of which
The Conscious Lovers' had been the most tolerable specimen, and
The School for Lovers' the most decorous and dull.
>>
But "Goldy had not only the gift of weighing the times, he had
the gift of the popular dramatist. His dramatis persona are on the
one hand nearly all legitimate descendants of the national comedy,
though none is a copy from dramatic predecessors; on the other
hand, they are in every instance "imitations" of real life, more than
once of some aspect of his own life; but none is so close an imitation
as to detract from the pleasure which fiction should afford. The for-
mer quality makes his characters look familiar; the latter, true. So
he accomplishes the feat most difficult for the dramatist: while ideal-
izing the individual in order to realize the type, he does not for a
moment lose the sympathy of his audience.
Even in his earlier comedy these two characteristics are manifest.
In the world of drama, young Honeywood is the legitimate descend-
ant of Massinger's Wellborn on the one side, and of Congreve's Val-
entine Legend on the other, with a more distant collateral resemblance
to Ben Jonson's Younger Knowell. But in the field of experience
this "Good-natured Man" is that aspect of "Goldy" himself which,
when he was poorest, made him not so poor but that Irishmen poorer
still could live on him; that aspect of the glorious "idiot in affairs »
which could make to the Earl of Northumberland, willing to be kind,
no other suggestion of his wants than that he had a brother in Ire-
land, "poor, a clergyman, and much in need of help. " Similarly might
those rare creations Croaker and Jack Lofty be traced to their pred-
ecessors in the field of drama, even though remote. That they had
their analogies in the life of Goldsmith, and have them in the lives
of others, it is unnecessary to prove. But graphic as these characters
are, they cannot make of 'The Good-natured Man' more than a pass-
able second to 'She Stoops to Conquer. ' For the premises of the
plot are absurd, if not impossible; the complication is not much more
natural than that of a Punch-and-Judy show, and the dénouement but
one shade less improbable than that of The Vicar of Wakefield. '
The value of the play is principally historical, not æsthetic.
Congreve's 'Love for Love,' Vanbrugh's 'Relapse,' Farquhar's
'Beaux' Stratagem,' Goldsmith's 'She Stoops to Conquer,' and Sheri-
dan's 'School for Scandal,' are the best comedies written since Jon-
son, Fletcher, and Massinger held the stage. In plot and diction 'She
Stoops to Conquer' is equaled by Congreve; in character-drawing by


## p. 6507 (#497) ###########################################

OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6507
Vanbrugh; in dramatic ease by Farquhar, in observation and wit by
Sheridan: but by none is it equaled in humor, and in naturalness of
dialogue it is facile princeps. Here again the characterization presents
the twofold charm of universality and reality. Young Marlow is the
traditional lover of the type of Young Bellair, Mirabell, and Aimwell,
suggesting each in turn but different from all; he is also, in his com-
bination of embarrassment and impudence, not altogether unlike the
lad Oliver who, years ago, on a journey back to school, had mistaken
Squire Featherstone's house in Ardagh for an inn.
A similar adjustment of dramatic type and historic individual con-
tributes to the durability of Tony Lumpkin. In his dramatis persona
he is a practical joker of the family of Diccon and Truewit, and first
cousin on the Blenkinsop side to that horse-flesh Sir Harry Beagle.
But Anthony is more than the practical joker or the squire booby:
he is a near relative of Captain O'Blunder and that whole country-
side of generous, touch-and-go Irishmen; while in reality, in pro-
pria persona, he is that aspect of Noll Goldsmith that "lived the
buckeen in Ballymahon. Of the other characters of the play, Hard-
castle, Mrs. Hardcastle, and Kate have a like prerogative of immor-
tality. They are royally descended and personally unique.
The comedy has been absurdly called farcical. There is much
less of the farcical than in many a so-called "legitimate" comedy.
None of the circumstances are purely fortuitous; none unnecessary.
Humor and caprice tend steadily to complicate the action, and by nat-
ural interaction prepare the way for the dénouement. The misunder-
standings are the more piquant because of their manifest irony and
their ephemeral character. Indeed, if any fault is to be found with
the play, it is that Goldsmith did not let it resolve itself without the
assistance of Sir Charles Marlow.
One peculiarity not yet mentioned is illustrative of Goldsmith's
method. A system of mutual borrowing characterizes his works. The
same thought, in the same or nearly the same language, occurs in
half a dozen. 'The Enquiry' lends a phrase to 'The Citizen,' who
passes it on to the Vicar,' who, thinking it too good to keep, hands
it over to the Good-natured Man,' whence it is borrowed by She
Stoops to Conquer,' and turned to look like new,- like a large family
of sisters with a small wardrobe in common. This habit does not
indicate poverty of invention in Goldsmith, but associative imagina-
tion and artistic conservatism.
Goldsmith was the only Irish story-writer and poet of his century.
Four Irishmen adorned the prose of the period: Goldsmith is as emi-
nent in the natural style as Swift in the satiric, or Steele in the pol-
ished, or Burke in the grand. In comedy the Irish led; but Steele,
Macklin, Murphy, Kelly, do not compare with Farquhar, Sheridan, and


## p. 6508 (#498) ###########################################

6508
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Goldsmith. The worst work of these is good, and their best is the
best of the century.
Turning to Goldsmith the man, what the "draggle-tail Muses"
paid him we find him spending on dress and rooms and jovial mag-
nificence, on relatives or countrymen or the unknown poor, with such
freedom that he is never relieved of the necessity of drudgery. Still,
sensitive, good-natured, improvident, Irish, and a genius, — Gold-
smith lived as happy a life as his disposition would allow. He had
the companionship of congenial friends, the love of men like Johnson
and Reynolds, the final assurance that his art was appreciated by the
public. To be sure, he was never out of debt, but that was his own
fault; he was never out of credit either. "Was there ever poet so
trusted? " exclaimed Johnson, after this poet had got beyond reach
of his creditors. His difficulties however affected him as they affect
most Irishmen,-only by cataclysms. He was serene or wretched, but
generally the former: he packed noctes cænæque deûm by the dozen
into his life. "There is no man," said Reynolds, "whose company is
more liked. " But maybe that was because his naïveté, his brogue,
his absent-mindedness, and his blunders (real or apparent) made him
a ready butt for ridicule, not at the hands of Reynolds or Johnson,
but of Beauclerk and the rest. For though his humor was sly, and
his wit inimitable, Goldsmith's conversation was queer. It seemed to
go by contraries. If permitted, he would ramble along in his hesi-
tating, inconsequential fashion, on any subject under heaven — “too
eager," thought Johnson, "to get on without knowing how he should
get off. "
But if ignored, he would sit silent and apart,-sulking,
thought Boswell. In fact, both the Dictator and laird of Auchinleck
were of a mind that he tried too much to shine in conversation, for
which he had no temper. But «< Goldy's" bons-mots — such as the
"Forsitan et nostrum nomen miscebitur istis" to Johnson, as they
passed under the heads on Temple Bar,-make it evident that Gar-
rick, with his
-
"Here lies Poet Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll,
Who wrote like an angel, but talked like poor Poll,»
and most of the members of the Literary Club, did not understand
their Irishman. A timidity born of rough experience may have oc-
casionally oppressed, a sensitiveness to ridicule or indifference may
have confused him, a desire for approbation may frequently have led
him to speak when silence had been golden; but that his conversa-
tion was "foolish" is the judgment of Philistines who make conver-
sation an industry, not an amusement or an art.
Boswell himself recounts more witty sayings than incomprehen-
sible.
And the "incomprehensible" are so only to Boswells and


## p. 6509 (#499) ###########################################

OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6509
Hawkinses, who can hardly be expected to appreciate a humor, the
vein of which is a mockery of their own solemn stupidity. Probably
Goldsmith did say unconsidered things; he liked to think aloud in
company, to "rattle on" for diversion. Keenly alive to the riches of
language, he was the more likely to feel the embarrassment of im-
promptu selection; and while he was too much of a genius to keep
count of every pearl, he was too considerate of his fellows to cast
pearls only. But most of his fellows (Reynolds excepted) appreciated
neither his drollery nor his unselfishness, had not been educated up
to the type of Irishman that with an artistic love of fun, is ever
ready to promote the gayety of nations by sacrificing itself in the
interest of laughter. For none but an artist can, without cracking a
smile, offer up his wit on the altar of his humor.
Prior describes Goldsmith as something under the middle size,
sturdy, active, apparently capable of endurance; pale, forehead and
upper lip rather projecting, face round, pitted with small-pox, and
marked with strong lines of thinking. But Reynolds's painting ideal-
izes and therefore best expresses the man, his twofold nature: on the
one hand, self-depreciatory, generous, and improvident; on the other,
aspiring, hungry for approval, laborious. Just such a man as would
gild poverty with a smile, decline patronage and force his last six-
pence on a street-singer, pile Pelion on Ossa for his publishers and
turn out cameos for art.
Charter Mille Gayley
THE VICAR'S FAMILY BECOME AMBITIOUS
From The Vicar of Wakefield'
NOW began to find that all my long and painful lectures upon
temperance, simplicity, and contentment were entirely disre-
garded. The distinctions lately paid us by our betters awak-
ened that pride which I had laid asleep, but not removed. Our
windows again, as formerly, were filled with washes for the neck
and face. The sun was dreaded as an enemy to the skin with-
out doors, and the fire as a spoiler of the complexion within.
My wife observed that rising too early would hurt her daughters'
eyes, that working after dinner would redden their noses, and


## p. 6510 (#500) ###########################################

6510
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
she convinced me that the hands never looked so white as when
they did nothing. Instead therefore of finishing George's shirts,
we now had them new-modeling their old gauzes, or flourishing
upon catgut. The poor Miss Flamboroughs, their former gay
companions, were cast off as mean acquaintance, and the whole
conversation ran upon high life and high-lived company, with
pictures, taste, Shakespeare, and the musical glasses.
But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling
gypsy come to raise us into perfect sublimity. The tawny sibyl
no sooner appeared than my girls came running to me for a
shilling apiece, to cross her hand with silver. To say the truth,
I was tired of being always wise, and could not help gratifying
their request, because I loved to see them happy. I gave each
of them a shilling, though for the honor of the family it must be
observed that they never went without money themselves, as my
wife always generously let them have a guinea each to keep in
their pockets, but with strict injunctions never to change it.
After they had been closeted up with the fortune-teller for some
time, I knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had
been promised something great. "Well, my girls, how have you
sped? Tell me, Livy, has the fortune-teller given thee a penny-
worth? " "I protest, papa," says the girl, "I believe she deals
with somebody that is not right, for she positively declared that
I am to be married to a squire in less than a twelvemonth!
"Well now, Sophy, my child," said I, "and what sort of a hus-
band are you to have? " "Sir," replied she, "I am to have a
lord soon after my sister has married the squire. " "How," cried
I, "is that all you are to have for your two shillings? Only
a lord and a squire for two shillings! You fools, I could have
promised you a prince and a nabob for half the money! "
>>
This curiosity of theirs, however, was attended with very seri-
ous effects: we now began to think ourselves designed by the
stars to something exalted, and already anticipated our future.
grandeur.
IT HAS been a thousand times observed, and I must observe it
once more, that the hours we pass with happy prospects in view
are more pleasing than those crowned with fruition. In the first
case we cook the dish to our own appetite; in the latter, nature
cooks it for us. It is impossible to repeat the train of agreeable
reveries we called up for our entertainment. We looked upon our


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OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6511
fortunes as once more rising; and as the whole parish asserted
that the Squire was in love with my daughter, she was actually
so with him, for they persuaded her into the passion. In this
agreeable interval my wife had the most lucky dreams in the
world, which she took care to tell us every morning with great
solemnity and exactness. It was one night a coffin and cross-
bones, the sign of an approaching wedding; at another time she
imagined her daughter's pockets filled with farthings, a certain
sign of their being shortly stuffed with gold. The girls them-
selves had their omens. They felt strange kisses on their lips;
they saw rings in the candle; purses bounced from the fire, and
true-love knots lurked in the bottom of every teacup.
Towards the end of the week we received a card from the
town ladies, in which, with their compliments, they hoped to
see all our family at church the Sunday following. All Saturday
morning I could perceive, in consequence of this, my wife and
daughters in close conference together, and now and then glan-
cing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be sincere,
I had strong suspicions that some absurd proposal was preparing
for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening they
began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife
undertook to conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in
spirits, she began thus: "I fancy, Charles my dear, we shall
have a great deal of good company at our church to-morrow. "
"Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I; "though you need be
under no uneasiness about that; you shall have a sermon whether
there be or not. " << That is what I expect," returned she; “but
I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as pos-
sible, for who knows what may happen? » "Your precautions,"
replied I, are highly commendable. A decent behavior and
appearance in church is what charms me. We should be devout
and humble, cheerful and serene. " "Yes," cried she, "I know
that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a manner as
possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us. "
"You are
quite right, my dear," returned I; “and I was going to make the
very same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go there
as early as possible, to have time for meditation before the serv-
ice begins. " "Phoo, Charles! " interrupted she; "all that is very
true, but not what I would be at. I mean we should go there
genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I protest
I don't like to see my daughters trudging up to their pew all
1


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6512
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the world as
if they had been winners at a smock-race. Now, my dear, my
proposal is this: there are our two plow-horses, the colt that has
been in our family these nine years, and his companion Black-
berry that has scarcely done an earthly thing this month past.
They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do
something as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has
trimmed them a little they will cut a very tolerable figure. ”
To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty
times more genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry
was wall-eyed and the colt wanted a tail; that they had never
been broke to the rein, but had a hundred vicious tricks; and
that we had but one saddle and pillion in the whole house. All
these objections however were overruled; so that I was obliged
to comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little busy
in collecting such materials as might be necessary for the expe-
dition, but as I found it would be a business of time, I walked
on to the church before, and they promised speedily to follow. I
waited near an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival, but not
finding them come as I expected, I was obliged to begin, and
went through the service, not without some uneasiness at finding
them absent. This was increased when all was finished, and no
appearance of the family. I therefore walked back by the horse-
way, which was five miles round, though the foot-way was but
two, and when I got about half-way home, perceived the proces-
sion marching slowly forward towards the church; my son, my
wife, and the two little ones exalted upon one horse, and my two
daughters upon the other. I demanded the cause of their delay;
but I soon found by their looks they had met with a thousand
misfortunes on the road. The horses had at first refused to move
from the door, till Mr. Burchell was kind enough to beat them
forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next, the
straps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to
stop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one
of the horses took it into his head to stand still, and neither
blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. They
were just recovering from this dismal situation when I found
them; but perceiving everything safe, I own their present morti-
fication did not much displease me, as it would give me many
opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughters more
humility.


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OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6513
MICHAELMAS EVE happening on the next day, we were invited
to burn nuts and play tricks at neighbor Flamborough's. Our
late mortifications had humbled us a little, or it is probable we
might have rejected such an invitation with contempt; however,
we suffered ourselves to be happy. Our honest neighbor's goose
and dumplings were fine, and the lamb's wool, even in the opin-
ion of my wife, who was a connoisseur, was excellent. It is true
his manner of telling stories was not quite so well; they were
very long and very dull, and all about himself, and we had
laughed at them ten times before; however, we were kind enough
to laugh at them once more.
were
Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of seeing
some innocent amusement going forward, and set the boys and
girls to blindman's buff. My wife too was persuaded to join in
the diversion, and it gave me pleasure to think she was not yet
too old. In the mean time my neighbor and I looked on, laughed
at every feat, and praised our own dexterity when we
young. Hot cockles succeeded next, questions and commands
followed that, and last of all they sat down to hunt the slipper.
As every person may not be acquainted with this primeval pas-
time, it may be necessary to observe that the company at this
play planted themselves in a ring upon the ground, all except
one, who stands in the middle, whose business it is to catch a
shoe which the company shove about under their hams from one
to another, something like a weaver's shuttle. As it is impossi-
ble in this case for the lady who is up to face all the company
at once, the great beauty of the play lies in hitting her a thump
with the heel of the shoe on that side least capable of making a
defense. It was in this manner that my eldest daughter was
hemmed in and thumped about, all blowzed in spirits, and bawl-
ing for fair play with a voice that might deafen a ballad-singer,
when, confusion on confusion! who should enter the room but
our two great acquaintances from town, Lady Blarney and Miss
Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs! Description would but beg-
gar, therefore it is unnecessary to describe this new mortification.
Death! To be seen by ladies of such high breeding in such vul-
gar attitudes! Nothing better could ensue from such a vulgar
play of Mr. Flamborough's proposing. We seemed stuck to the
ground for some time, as if actually petrified with amazement.
The two ladies had been at our house to see us, and finding
us from home, came after us hither, as they were uneasy to
XI-408


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6514
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
know what accident could have kept us from church the day
before. Olivia undertook to be our prolocutor, and delivered the
whole in the summary way, only saying, "We were thrown from
our horses. " At which account the ladies were greatly concerned;
but being told the family received no hurt, they were extremely
glad; but being informed that we were almost killed by the
fright, they were vastly sorry; but hearing that we had a very
good night, they were extremely glad again. Nothing could
exceed their complaisance to my daughters; their professions the
last evening were warm, but now they were ardent. They pro-
tested a desire of having a more lasting acquaintance; Lady
Blarney was particularly attached to Olivia; Miss Carolina Wil-
helmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name) took a
greater fancy to her sister. They supported the conversation
between themselves, while my daughters sat silent, admiring their
exalted breeding. But as every reader, however beggarly him-
self, is fond of high-lived dialogues, with anecdotes of lords,
ladies, and Knights of the Garter, I must beg leave to give him.
the concluding part of the present conversation.
"All that I know of the matter," cried Miss Skeggs, "is this:
that it may be true, or it may not be true; but this I can assure
your ladyship, that the whole route was in amaze; his lordship
turned all manner of colors, my lady fell into a swoon, but Sir
Tomkyn, drawing his sword, swore he was hers to the last drop
of his blood. "
"Well," replied our peeress, "this I can say: that the duchess
never told me a syllable of the matter; and I believe her Grace
would keep nothing a secret from me. This you may depend
upon as fact: that the next morning my lord duke cried out
three times to his valet-de-chambre, 'Jernigan, Jernigan, Jernigan,
bring me my garters! '
> >>
But previously I should have mentioned the very impolite be-
havior of Mr. Burchell, who during this discourse sat with his
face turned to the fire, and at the conclusion of every sentence
would cry out "Fudge! "-an expression which displeased us all,
and in some measure damped the rising spirit of the conversation.
"Besides, my dear Skeggs," continued our peeress, "there is
nothing of this in the copy of verses that Doctor Burdock made
upon the occasion. " Fudge!
"I am surprised at that," cried Miss Skeggs; "for he seldom
leaves anything out, as he writes only for his own amusement.


## p. 6515 (#505) ###########################################

OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6515
But can your Ladyship favor me with a sight of them? "
Fudge!
"My dear creature," replied our peeress, "do you think I
carry such things about me? Though they are very fine, to be
sure, and I think myself something of a judge; at least I know
what pleases myself. Indeed, I was ever an admirer of all Doc-
tor Burdock's little pieces; for except what he does, and our dear
countess at Hanover Square, there's nothing comes out but the
most lowest stuff in nature; not a bit of high life among them. "
Fudge!
"Your Ladyship should except," says t'other, "your own things
in the Lady's Magazine. I hope you'll say there's nothing low-
lived there? But I suppose we are to have no more from that
quarter? " Fudge!
"Why, my dear," says the lady, "you know my reader and
companion has left me to be married to Captain Roach, and as
my poor eyes won't suffer me to write myself, I have been for
some time looking out for another. A proper person is no easy
matter to find, and to be sure, thirty pounds a year is a small
stipend for a well-bred girl of character, that can read, write,
and behave in company; as for the chits about town, there is no
bearing them about one. " Fudge!
"That I know," cried Miss Skeggs, "by experience. For
of the three companions I had this last half-year, one of them
refused to do plain work an hour in the day, another thought
twenty-five guineas a year too small a salary, and I was obliged
to send away the third because I suspected an intrigue with the
chaplain. Virtue, my dear Lady Blarney, virtue is worth any
price; but where is that to be found? " Fudge!
My wife had been for a long time all attention to this dis-
course, but was particularly struck with the latter part of it.
Thirty pounds and twenty-five guineas a year made fifty-six
pounds five shillings, English money, all which was in a manner
going a-begging, and might easily be secured in the family. She
for a moment studied my looks for approbation; and to own a
truth, I was of opinion that two such places would fit our two
daughters exactly. Besides, if the Squire had any real affection
for my eldest daughter, this would be the way to make her every
way qualified for her fortune. My wife therefore was resolved
that we should not be deprived of such advantages for want of
assurance, and undertook to harangue for the family. "I hope,"


## p. 6516 (#506) ###########################################

6516
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
cried she, "your ladyships will pardon my present presumption.
It is true, we have no right to pretend to such favors; but yet
it is natural for me to wish putting my children forward in the
world. And I will be bold to say my two girls have had a
pretty good education and capacity; at least, the country can't
show better. They can read, write, and cast.
cast accounts; they
understand their needle, broad-stitch, cross-and-change, and all
manner of plain work; they can pink, point, and frill, and know
something of music; they can do up small-clothes, work upon
catgut; my eldest can cut paper, and my youngest has a very
pretty manner of telling fortunes upon the cards. " Fudge!
When she had delivered this pretty piece of eloquence, the
two ladies looked at each other a few moments in silence, with
an air of doubt and importance. At last Miss Carolina Wilhel-
mina Amelia Skeggs condescended to observe that the young
ladies, from the opinion she could form of them from so slight
an acquaintance, seemed very fit for such employments. "But a
thing of this kind, madam," cried she, addressing my spouse,
"requires a thorough examination into characters, and a more
perfect knowledge of each other. Not, madam," continued she,
"that I in the least suspect the young ladies' virtue, prudence,
and discretion; but there is a form in these things, madam, there
is a form. "
My wife approved her suspicions very much, observing that
she was very apt to be suspicious herself; but referred her to all
the neighbors for a character; but this our peeress declined as
unnecessary, alleging that her cousin Thornhill's recommendation
would be sufficient, and upon this we rested our petition.
WHEN We returned home, the night was dedicated to schemes
of future conquest. Deborah exerted much sagacity in conjectur-
ing which of the two girls was likely to have the best place, and
most opportunities of seeing good company. The only obstacle to
our preferment was in obtaining the Squire's recommendation;
but he had already shown us too many instances of his friendship
to doubt of it now. Even in bed my wife kept up the usual
theme: "Well, faith, my dear Charles, between ourselves, I
think we have made an excellent day's work of it. " "Pretty
well," cried I, not knowing what to say. "What, only pretty
well! " returned she; "I think it is very well. Suppose the girls
should come to make acquaintances of taste in town! This I am


## p. 6517 (#507) ###########################################


OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6517
assured of, that London is the only place in the world for all
manner of husbands. Besides, my dear, stranger things happen
every day; and as ladies of quality are so taken with my daugh-
ters, what will not men of quality be! Entre nous, I protest I
like my Lady Blarney vastly; so very obliging. However, Miss
Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs has my warm heart. But
yet when they came to talk of places in town, you saw at once
how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you think I did for
my children there? » "Ay," returned I, not knowing well what
to think of the matter; "Heaven grant that they may be both
the better for it this day three months! " This was one of those
observations I usually made to impress my wife with an opinion
of my sagacity; for if the girls succeeded, then it was a pious
wish fulfilled; but if anything unfortunate ensued, then it might
be looked upon as a prophecy.
NEW MISFORTUNES: BUT OFFENSES ARE EASILY PARDONED
WHERE THERE IS LOVE AT BOTTOM
From The Vicar of Wakefield'
THE
HE next morning I took my daughter behind me, and set out
on my return home. As we traveled along, I strove by
every persuasion to calm her sorrows and fears, and to
arm her with resolution to bear the presence of her offended
mother. I took every opportunity, from the prospect of a fine
country through which we passed, to observe how much kinder
Heaven was to us than we were to each other, and that the
misfortunes of nature's making were very few. I assured her
that she should never perceive any change in my affections,
and that during my life, which yet might be long, she might
depend upon a guardian and an instructor. I armed her against
the censures of the world; showed her that books were sweet,
unreproaching companions to the miserable, and that if they
could not bring us to enjoy life, they would at least teach us to
endure it.
The hired horse that we rode was to be put up that night at
an inn by the way, within about five miles from my house; and
as I was willing to prepare my family for my daughter's recep-
tion, I determined to leave her that night at the inn, and to
return for her accompanied by my daughter Sophia, early the


## p. 6518 (#508) ###########################################

6518
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
next morning. It was night before we reached our appointed
stage; however, after seeing her provided with a decent apart-
ment, and having ordered the hostess to prepare proper re-
freshments, I kissed her, and proceeded towards home. And
now my heart caught new sensations of pleasure, the nearer I
approached that peaceful mansion. As a bird that had been
frighted from its nest, my affections outwent my haste, and
hovered round my little fireside with all the rapture of expecta-
tion. I called up the many fond things I had to say, and antici-
pated the welcome I was to receive. I already felt my wife's
tender embrace, and smiled at the joy of my little ones. As I
walked but slowly, the night waned apace. The laborers of the
day were all retired to rest; the lights were out in every cottage;
no sounds were heard but of the shrilling cock, and the deep-
mouthed watch-dog at the hollow distance. I approached my
little abode of pleasure, and before I was within a furlong of the
place our honest mastiff came running to welcome me.
It was now near midnight that I came to knock at my door;
all was still and silent; my heart dilated with unutterable happi-
ness; when to my amazement I saw the house bursting out in a
blaze of fire, and every aperture red with conflagration! I gave
a loud convulsive outcry, and fell upon the pavement insensible.
This alarmed my son, who had till this been asleep, and he per-
ceiving the flames instantly waked my wife and daughter, and all
running out naked and wild with apprehension, recalled me to
life with their anguish. But it was only to objects of new terror;
for the flames had by this time caught the roof of our dwelling,
part after part continuing to fall in, while the family stood with
silent agony looking on, as if they enjoyed the blaze. I gazed
upon them and upon it by turns, and then looked round me for
my two little ones: but they were not to be seen. Oh misery!
"Where," cried I, "where are my little ones? " "They are burnt
to death in the flames," said my wife calmly, "and I will die
with them. " That moment I heard the cry of the babes within,
who were just awaked by the fire; and nothing could have
stopped me. "Where, where are my children? " cried I, rushing
through the flames, and bursting the door of the chamber in
which they were confined; "where are my little ones? " "Here,
dear papa, here we are," cried they together, while the flames
were just catching the bed where they lay. I caught them
both in my arms, and snatched them through the fire as fast as


## p. 6519 (#509) ###########################################

OLIVER GOLDSMITH
6519
possible, while just as I was got out, the roof sunk in. "Now,"
cried I, holding up my children, "now let the flames burn on,
and all my possessions perish. Here they are; I have saved my
treasure. Here, my dearest, here are our treasures, and we
shall yet be happy. " We kissed our little darlings a thousand
times, they clasped us round the neck and seemed to share our
transports, while their mother laughed and wept by turns.
I now stood a calm spectator of the flames, and after some
time began to perceive that my arm to the shoulder was scorched
in a terrible manner. It was therefore out of my power to give
my son any assistance, either in attempting to save our goods, or
preventing the flames spreading to our corn. By this time the
neighbors were alarmed, and came running to our assistance; but
all they could do was to stand, like us, spectators of the calamity.