But Morrice learned
demonstrates
by the post.
Marvell - Poems
209
Where like the new comptroller all men laugh^
To see a tall louse brandish a white staff,
Else shall thou ofl thy guiltless pencil curse,
Stamp on thy pallet, not perhaps the worse.
The painter having so long vexed his cloth,
Of his hound's mouth to feign the raging froth,
His desperate pencil at the work did dart ;
His anger reached that rage which passed-
his art ;
Chance finished that, which art could not begin,.
And he sat smiting as his dog did grin.
So mayest thou perfect by a lucky blow,
What all thy soflest touches cannot do.
Paint then St. Alban's full of soup and gold,.
The new court's pattern, stallion of the old,
Him neither wit nor courage did exalt,
But Fortune chose him for her pleasure's salt.
Paint him with drayman's shoulders, butcher's
mien,
Membered like mule, with elephantine chin.
Well he the title of St. Alban's bore.
For never Bacon studied nature more ;
But age, allaying now that youthful heat,
Fits him in France to play at cards, and cheat;
Draw no commission, lest the court should lie.
And, disavowing treaty, ask supply.
He needs no seal but to St. James's lease.
Whose breeches were the instruments of peace ;
14
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^0 THE POEMS
Who, if the French dispute his power, from
thence
Can straight produce them a plenipotence.
Nor fears he the Most Christian should trepan
Two saints at once, St German and Alban ;
But thought the golden age was now restored.
When men and women took each other's word.
Paint then again her highness to the life,
Philosopher beyond Newcastle's wife.
She naked can Archimedes' self put down.
For an experiment upon the crown.
She perfected that engine oft essayed,
How after child-birth to renew a maid ;
And found how royal heirs might be matured
In fewer months than mothers once endured.
Hence Crowder made the rare inventress free
Of *s Highness's Royal Society.
Happiest of women if she were but able
To make her glassen Duke once malleable !
Paint her with oyster-lip, and breath of fame,
Wide mouth, that sparagus may well proclaim ;
With chancellor's belly, and so large a rump.
Where (not behind the coach) h(-r pages jump.
Express her studying now, if Clnna clay
Can, without breaking, venomed juice convey :
Or how a mortal poison she may draw
Out of the cordial meal of the cocoa.
Witness ye stars oi' night, and thou the pale
Moon, thato'ercome with the su k steam, didst fail:
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OF MARVELL. 211
Ye neighbVing elms, which your green leaves
did slied,
And fawns which from the womb abortive fled.
Not unprovoked she tries forbidden arts,
But in her soft- breast love's hid cancer smarts,
While she resolves at once Sydney's disgrace.
And herself scorned for emulous Denham's
face ; *
And nightly hears the hated guard, away
Galloping with the Duke to other prey.
Paint Castlemain in colours which will hold
Her, not her picture, for she now grows old.
She through her lackey's drawers, as he ran,
Discerned love's cause, and a new flame began.
Her wonted joys thenceforth, and court, she
shuns,
And still within her mind the footman runs ;
His brazen calves, his brawny thighs, (the face
She slights) his feet shaped for a smoother race !
Then, poring with her glass, she re-adjusts ;
Her locks, and oft-tried beauty now distrusts ;
Feai*s lest he scorned a woman once assayed,
And now fii-st wished she e'er had been a maid.
Great love ! how dost thou triumph, and how
reign.
That to a groom couldst humble her disdain !
* The Duke of York was thought to have an intrigue with
Sir John Denham^s lady.
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212 THE POEMS
Stripped to her skin, see how she stooping
stands,
Nor scorns to rub him down with those fair
hands,
And washing (lest the scent her crime disclose)
His sweaty hoofs, tickles him betwixt the toes.
But envious fame too soon began to note
More gold in 's fob, more lace upon his coat ;
And he unweary, and of tongue too fleet*
No longer could conceal his fortune sweet.
Justly the rogue was whipped in Porter's den,
And Jei*main straight has leave to come again.
Ah Painter ! now could Alexander live.
And this Campaspe the Apelles give ! *
Draw next a pair of tables opening, then
The House of Commons clattering like the men.
Describe the court and country both set right
On opposite points, the black against the white.
Those having lost the nation at tick-tack,
These now adventuring how to win it back.
The dice betwixt them must the fate divide,
As chance does still in multitudes decide.
But here the court doth its advantage know.
For the cheat, Turner, for them both mui^t
throw ;
♦ Campfispe was Alexander's mistress, whom ApelN^s, by
Alexander's command, painted naked, and fell violently in
love with her. Alexander perceived it, and, for fear of any
fatal consequence to ApoUes, gave her to him.
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OF MARVELL. 213
As some from boxes, he so from the chair
Can strike the dice, and still with them have share.
Here, Painter, rest a little and survey
Witii what small ai*ts the public game they play :
For so too, Rubens, with afikirs of state.
His labouring pencil ofl would recreate.
The close Cabal marked how the navy eats,
And thought all lost that goes not to the cheats :
So therefore secretly for peace decrees.
Yet for a wai- the parliament would squeeze ;
And fix to the revenue such a sum
Should Goodrick silence, and make Paston dumb,
Should pay land armies, should dissolve the vain
Commons, and ever such a court maintain,
Hyde's avarice, Bennet's luxury, should suffice,
And what can these defray but the excise,
Excise, a monster worse than e'er before
Frighted tiie midwife, and the mother tore ?
A thousand hands she has, a thousand eyes,
Breaks into shops, and into cellars pries ;
With iiundred rows of teeth the shark exceeds,
And on ail trades, like Casawar, she feeds ;
Chops off the piece where'er she close the jaw,
Else swallows all down her indented maw.
She stalks all day in streets, concealed from sight,
And flies like bats with leathern wings by night ;
She wav^ii^s the country, and on cities preys.
Her, ot a female harpy in dog-days,
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214 THE POEMS
Black Birch, of all the earth-born race most hot,
And most rapacious, like himself begot ;
And of his brat enamoured, as she increased.
Buggered in inc<»st with the mongrel beast.
Say Muse, for nothing can escape thy sight.
And Painter, wanting other, draw this fight.
Who in an English senate fierce debate
Could raise so long, for this new whore of state.
Of early wittols first the troop marched in,
For diligence renowned, and discipline ;
In loyal haste they left your wives in bed.
And Denham these with one consent did head.
Of the old courtiers next a squadron came,
Who sold their master, led by Ashburnham.
To them succeeds a despicable rout,
But knew the word, and well could face about ;
Expectants pale, with hopes of spoil allured.
Though yet but pioneers, and led by Steward.
Then damning cowards ranged the vocal plain ;
Wood these commands, knight of the horn and
cane :
Still his hook-shoulder seems the blow to dread,
And under 's arm -pit he defends his head.
The posture strange men laugh at, of his poll
Hid with his elbow like the spice he stole :
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OF MARVKLL. 215
Headless St. Dennis so his head does bear,
And both of them alike French martyrs were.
Court officers, as used, the next place took,
And followed F x, but with disdainful
look:
His birth, his youth, his brokage all dispraise
In vain ; for always he commands that pays.
Then the procurers under Progers filed.
Gentlest of men, and his lieutenant mild ;
Bronkard, love's squire, through all the field
arrayed,
No troop was better clad, nor so well paid.
Then marched the troop of Clarendon, all full,
Haters of fowl, to teal preferring bull ;
Gross bodies, grosser minds, and grosser cheats,
And bloated Wren conducts them to their seats.
Charlton advances next (whose wife does awe
The mitred troop) and with his looks gives law.
He marched with beaver cocked of bishop's brim.
And hid much fraud under an aspect grim.
Next do the lawyers, sordid band, appear.
Finch in the front, and Thurland in the rear. .
The troop of privilege, a rabble bare
Of debtors deep, fell to Trelawney's care ;
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21 G THE POEMS
Their fortune's error thej supplied in rage,
Nor any farther would than these engage.
Then inarched the troop, whose valiant acts
before
Their public acts, obliged them to do more,
For chimney's sake they all Sir Pool obeyed.
Or, in his absence, him that first it laid.
Then came the thrifty troop of privateers.
Whose horses each with other interferes :
Before them Higgins rides with brow compact,
Mourning his countess, anxious for his act
Sir Frederick and Sir Solomon draw lots.
For the command of politics and Scots ;
Thence fell to words ; but quarrels to adjourn,
Their friends agreed they should command by turn.
Carteret the rich did the accountants guide.
And in ill English all the world defied.
The papists (but of those the house had none,
Else) Talbot offered to have led them on.
Bold Duncotob next, of the projectors chief,
And old Fitz Harding of tlie eaters beef.
Late and disordered out tlie drunkards drew,
Scarce them their leaders, \\wy their leaders knew.
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OF MARVELL. 2l7
Before them entered, equal in command,
Apslej and Brotherick marching hand in hand.
Last then but one, Powel, that could not ride
Left the French standard weltering in his stride ;
He, to excuse his slowness, truth confessed,
That 'twas so long before he could be dressed.
The lords' sons last all these did reenforcc,
Cornburj before them managed hobby-horse.
Never before nor since an host so steeled
Trooped on to muster in the Tuttle-field.
Not the first cock-horse that with cork was
shod
To rescue Albemarle from the sea-cod :
Nor the late feather-man, whom Tomkins fierce
Shall with one breath like thistle down disperse.
All the two Coventrys their generals chose.
For one had much, the other nought to lose.
Not better choice all accidents could hit.
While hector Harry steere by Will the wit.
They both accept the charge with merry glee.
To fight a battle from all gunshot free.
Pleased with their numbers, yet in valour wise.
They feigned a parley, better to surprise,
They who ere long shall the rude Dutch
upbraid,
Who in a time of treaty dare invade.
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218 THE POEMS
Thick was the morning, and the house was
thin,
The speaker early, when they all fell in.
Propitious heavens I had not you them crossed,
Excise had got the day, and all been lost :
For t'other side all in close quarters lay
Without intelligence, command or pay ;
A scattered body, which the foe ne'er tried,
But often did among themselves divide.
And some run o'er each night, while others
sleep.
And undescried returned 'fore morning peep.
But Strangeways, who all night still walked the
round.
For vigilance and courage both renowned,
First spied the enemy, and gave the alarm,
Fighting it single till the rest might arm ;
Such Roman Cocles stood before the foe,
The falling bridge behind, the streams below. *
Each ran as chance him guides to several i)ost.
And all to pattern his example, boast ;
Their former trophies they recall to mind,
And now, to edge their anger, courage grind.
First entered forward Temple, conqueror
Of Irish cattle, and solicitor.
* Codes, a noble Romaiif maintained a pass alone, and
kcpl back a whole army, till the bridge behind Jiim was
broke down, and then throw himself into the Tihci, ;uid
swam to laud.
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• OP MARVELL. . 219
Then daring S — ^r, that with spear and shield
Had stretched the monster patent on the field.
Keen Whoorwood next in aid of damsel frail,
That pierced the giant Mordaunt through his
mail:
And surly Williams the accountant's bane,
And Lovelace young of chimney-men the cane.
Old Waller, trumpet general, swore he'd write
This combat truer than the naval fight.
Of birth, state, wit, strength, courage, Howaitl
presumes,
And in his breast wears many Montezumes. *
These, with some more, with single valour stay
The adverse troops, and hold them all at bay.
Each thinks his person represents the whole,
And with that thought does multiply his soul ;
Believes himself an army ; there's one man,
As easily conquered ; and believing, can
With heart of bees so full and head of mites,
That each, though duelling, a battle fights.
So once Orlando, famous in romance.
Broached whole brigades like larks upon liis
lance.
But strength at last still under number bows,
And the faint sweat trickling down Temple's
brows;
* Montezuma is the hero of the Indian Queen, n tr:i<;cMiy
written by Mr. Dryden and Sir Robert Howard.
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220 THE P0EM3
Even iron Strange way chasing yet gave back,
Spent with fatigue to breathe a while tobac.
When marching in; a seasonable recruit
Of citizens and merchants held dispute,
And charging all their pipes, a sullen band
Of Presbyterian Switzers made a stand.
Nor could all these the field have long main*
tained.
But for the unknown reserve that still re-
mained ;
A gross of English gentry, nobly bom,
Of clear estiUes, and to no faction sworn.
Dear lovers of their king, and death to meet
For country's cause, that glorious thing and
sweet ;
To speak not forward, but in action brave,
In giving generous, but in council grave;
Candidly credulous for once, nay twice ;
But sure the devil ciinnot cheat them thrice.
The van in battle, though retiring, falls
Without disorder in their intervals.
Then closing all, in equal front, fall on.
Led by great Garraway, and great Littleton.
Lee equal to obey, or to command,
Adjutant-general was still at hand.
The marshal standard, Sands displaying, shows
St. Dunstan in it tweaking Satan's nose.
See sudden chance of war, to paint or write.
Is longer work, and liarder than to fight:
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OP MARVELL. 221
At the first charge the enemy give out,
And the excise receives a total rout.
Broken in courage, yet the men the same,
Resolve henceforth upon their other game :
Where force had failed, with stratagem to play,
And what haste lost, recover by delay.
St. Albans straight is sent to, to forbear.
Lest the sure peace (forsooth) too soon appear.
The seamen's clamours to three ends they use.
To cheat their pay, feign want, and the house
accuse.
Each day they bring the tale and that too true.
How strong the Dutch their equipage renew ;
Meantime through all the yards their orders run.
To lay the ships up, cease tlie keels begun.
The timber rots, the useless axe does rust ;
The unpractised saw lies buried in its dust ;
The busy hammer sleeps, the ropes untwine ;
The store and wages all are mine and thine ;
Along the coasts and harbours they take care
That money lacks, nor forts be in repair.
Long thus they could against the house con-
spire.
Load them with envy, and with sitting tire ;
And the loved king, that's never yet denied.
Is brought to beg in public, and to chide :
But when this failed, and months enough were
spent.
They with the first day's proffer seem content ;
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222 THE rOEMS
And to land-tax from the excise turn round,
Bought off with eighteen hundred thousand
pound.
Thus like fair thieves, the Ck>mmons' purse thej
share.
But all the members' lives consulting spare.
Blither than hare that hath escaped the
hounds,
The house prorogued, the chancellor rebounds.
Not so decrepid . ^on, hashed and stewed
With magic herbs, rose from the pot renewed,
And with fresh age felt his glad limbs unite,
His gout (yet still he cursed) had left him
quite.
What frosts to fruits, what arsenic to the raty.
What to fair Denham mortal chocolate.
What an account to Carteret, that and more,
A parliament is to the chancellor.
So the sad tree shrinks from the morning's eye.
But blooms all night and shoots its -branches
high;
So at the sun's recess, again returns
The comet dread, and earth and heaven bums.
Now Mordaunt may within his castle tower
Imprison parents, and their child deflower.
The Irish herd is now let loose, and comes
By millions over, not by hecatombs ;
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OP MARVELL. 223
And now, now the Canary patent may
Be broached again for the great Holy-day.
See how he reigns in his new palace culminant,
And sits in state divine like Jove the fulminant.
First Buckingham that durst 'gainst him rebel,
Blasted with liglitning, struck with thunder fell.
Next the twelve commons are condemned to
groan,
And roll in vain at Sisyphus's stone.
But still he cared, whilst in revenge he braved,
That peace secured, and money might be saved.
Gain and revenge, revenge and gain, are
sweet ;
United most, when most by turns they meet
France had St. Albans promised, (so they sing)
St. Albans promised him, and he the king.
The court forthwith is ordered all to close.
To play for Flanders, and the stake to lose.
While chained together, two ambassadors
Like slaves shall beg for peace at Holland's
doors.
This done, among his Cyclops he retires
To forge new thunder, and inspect their fires.
The court, as once of war, now fond of peace.
All to new sports their wonted fears release.
From Greenwich (where intelligence they hold)
Comes news of pastime martial and old.
A punishment invented first to awe
]Masculine wives transgressing nature's law ;
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224 THE POEMS
Where when the brawny female disobeys,
And beats the husband, till for peace he prays.
No concerned jury damage for him finds,
Nor partial justice her behaviour binds ;
But the just street does the next house invade.
Mounting the neighbour couple on lean jade.
The distaff knocks, the grains from kettle fly.
And boys and girls in troops run hooting by.
Prudent antiquity ! that knew by shame.
Better than law, domestic broils to tame ;
And taught the youth by spectacle innocent :
So thou and I, dear Painter, represent
In quick cffisyi others' faults ; and feign.
By making them ridiculous, to restrain ;
With homely sight they chose thus to relax
The joys of state for the new peace and tax.
So Holland with us had the mastery tried,
And our next neighbours, France and Flanders,
ride.
But a fresh news the great designment nips
Off, at the isle of Candy ; Dutch and ships
Bab May and Arlington did wisely scoff.
And tliought all safe if they were so far off.
Modern geographers I 'twas there they thought,
Where Venice twenty years the Turks had fought,
(While the first year the navy is but shown,
The next divided, and the third we've none.
They by the name mistook it for that isle,
Wliere pilgrim Palmer travelled in exile,
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OP MARVELL. 225
With the bull's horn to measure his own head,
And on Pasiphae's tomb to drop a bead.
But Morrice learned demonstrates by the post.
This isle o£ Candy was on Essex coast.
Fresh messengers still the sad news assure.
More timorous now we are than first secure.
False terrors our believing fears devise,
And the French army one from Calais spies.
Bennet and May, and those of shorter reach,
Change all for guineas, and a crown for each ;
But wiser men, and men foreseen in chance.
In Holland theirs had lodged before, and
Friftice ;
Whitehall 's unsafe, the court all meditates
To fly to Windsor, and mure up the gates.
Each doth the other blame and all distrust,
But Mordaunt new obliged would sure be just.
Not such a fatal stupefaction reigned
At London flames, nor so the court complained.
The Blood worth Chancellor gives (then does
recall)
Orders, amazed, at last gives none at all.
St. Albans writ too, that he may bewail
To Monsieur Lewis, and tell coward tale,
How that the Hollanders do make a noise.
Threaten to beat us and are naughty boys.
Now Doleman 's disobedient, and they still
Uncivil, his uii kindness would us kill :
15
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226 THE POEMS
Tell him our ships unrigged, our forts unmanned,
Our money spent, else *t\vere at his command ;
Summon him tlierefore of his word, and prove
To move him out of pity, if not love ;
Pray him to make De Wit and Ruyter cease,
And whip the Dutch unless they hold their
peace.
But Lewis was of memory but dull,
And to St. Albans too undutiful ;
Nor word nor near relation did revere,
But asked him bluntly for his character.
The gravelled count did with this answer faint,
(His character was that which thou didst paint)
And so enforced like eriemy or spy,
Tinisses his baggage, and the camp does fly :
Yet Lewis writes, and lest our heart should break.
Condoles us morally out of Senec.
Two letters next unto Breda are sent,
In cipher one to Harry Excellent.
The first intrusts (our verse that name abhors)
Plenipotentiary embassadors
To prove by Scripture, treaty does imply
Cessation, as the look adultery ;
And that by law of arms, in martial strife,
Who yields his sword, has title to his life.
Presbyter Hollis the first point should clear,
The second Coventry the cavalier :
But, would they not be argued back from sea,
Then to return home straight xnfectd re.
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OF MARVKLL. 227
But Harry 's ordered, if they won't recall
Their fleet, to threaten, — we will give them all.
The Dutch are then in proclamation shent.
For sin against the eleventh commandment.
Hyde's flippant style there pleasantly curvets,
Still his sharp wit on states and princes whets :
So Spain could not escape his laughter's spleen,
None but himself must choose the king and queen.
But when he came the odious clause to pen,
That summons up the parliament agen,
His writing-master many times he banned,
And wished himself the gout to seize his hand.
Never old lecher more repugnant felt,
Consenting for his rupture to be gelt.
But still in hope he solaced, ere they come
To work the peace, and so to send them home ;
Or in their hasty call to find a flaw.
Their acts to vitiate, and them overawe :
But more relied upon tin's Dutch pretence,
To raise a two-edged army for *s defence.
First then he marched our whole militia's force,
(As if, alas ! we ships, or Dutch had horse ;)
Then from the usual commonplace he blames
These, and in standing armies' praise declaims ;
And the wise court, that always loved it dear.
Now thinks all but too little for their fe^ir.
Hyde stamps, and straight upon the ground the
swarms
Of current myrmidons appear in arms :
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228 THE POEMS
And for their pay ho writes as from the king,
With that cursed quill plucked from a vulture's
wing,
Of the whole nation now to ask a loan ;
The eighteen hundred thousand pounds are gone.
This done, he pens a proclamation stout
In rescue of the bankers banquerout,
Ui. s minion imps, which in his secret part
Lie nuzzling at the sacramental wart,
Horse-leeches sucking at the hemorrhoid vein ;
lie sucks the king, they him, he them again.
Ti\e kingdom's farm he lets to them bid least,
(Greater the bribe) and cheats at interest.
Here men induced by safety, gain, and ease,
Tlieir money lodge, confiscate when he please ;
These can at need, at instant with a scrip,
(This hked him best) his cash beyond sea whip.
When Dutch invade, and parliament prepare ;
How can he engines so convenient spare ?
Let no man touch them, or demand his own.
Pain of displeasure of great Clarendon.
The state-afifairs thus marshalled, for the rest,
Monk in his shirt against the Duteli is pressed.
Often, dear Painter, have I sat and nuiscd
Why he should be on all adventures used ;
Do they for nothing ill, like ashen wood,
Oi* think him, like Herb-John, for nothing good ?
Whether his valour they so much admire,
Or that for cowardice they all retiie,
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OF MARVELL. 229
As heaven in storms, they call, in gusts of state,
On Monk and Parliament, — yet both do hate.
All causes sure concur, but most they think
Under Herculean labours he may sink.
Soon then the independent troops would close,
And Hyde's last project of his place dispose.
Ruyter, the while,* that had our ocean curbed,
Sailed now amongst our rivers undisturbed ;
Surveyed their crystal streams and banks so
green.
And beauties ere this never naked seen :
Through the vain sedge the bashful nymphs he
eyed.
Bosoms, and all which from themselves they hide.
The sun much brighter, and tlie sky more clear.
He finds, the air and all things sweeter heru ;
The sudden change, and such a tempting sight,
Swells his old veins with fresh blood, fresh
delight ;
Like amorous victors he begins to shave,
And his new face looks in the English wave ;
His sporting navy all about him swim,
And witness their complacence in their trim ;
Their streaming silks play through the weather
fair.
And with inveigling colours court the air,
While the red fiags breathe on their topmasts high
Terror and war, but want an enemy.
* The Dutch Admiral who burned our i^hips tii (l. iitham.
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230 THK rOKMS
Among the shrouds the seamen sit and sing,
And wanton boys on every rope do cling :
Old Neptune springs the tides, and waters lent,
(The Gods themselves do help the provident)
And where the deep keel on the shallow cleave? ,
With trident's lever and great shoulder heaves ;
^olus their sails inspires with eastern wind,
Puffs them along, and breathes upon them kind ;
With pearly shell the Tritons all the while
Sound the sea-march, and guide to Sheppy isle.
So have I seen in April's bud arise
A fleet of clouds sailing along the skies ;
The liquid region with their squadrons filled.
Their airy sterns the sun behind doth gild.
And gentle gales them steer, and heaven drives,
When all on sudden their calm bosom rives,
With thunder and lightning from each armed
cloud ;
Shepherds themselves in vain in bushes shroud ; —
So up the stream the Belgic navy glides,
And at Sheerness unloads its stormy sides.
Sprag there, though practised in the sr:i-
command.
With panting heart lay like a fish on land,
And quickly judged the fort was not tenal'lc
Which if a house, yet were not tenantabic ;
Ko man can sit there safe, the cannon pours
Through walls untight, and through the bullci
showers.
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OF MARVELL. 231
The neighbourhood ill, and an unwholsome seat,
He at the first salute resolves retreat;
And swore that he would never more dwell
there,
Until the city put it in repair ;
So he in front, his garrison in rear,
Marched straight to Chatham to increase their
fear.
There our sick ships unrigged in summer lay,
Like moulting fowl, a weak and easy prey.
For whose strong bulk earth scarce could timber
find,
The ocean water, or the heavens wind,
Those oaken giants of the ancient race.
That ruled all seas, and did our channel grace ;
The conscious stag, though once the forest's
dread.
Flies to the wood, and hides his armless head.
Ruyter forthwith a squadron doth untack ;
They sail securely through the river's track.
An English pilot too (O, shame ! O, sin ! ) •
Cheated of 's pay, was he that showed them in.
Our wretched ships within their fate attend.
And all our hopes now on frail chain depend,
(Engine so slight to guard us from the sea,
It fitter seemed to cai)tivate a flea ;)
A skipper rude shocks it without respect,
Filling his sails more force to recollect ;
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282 THE POEMS
The English from shore the iron deaf invoke
For its last aid : hold, chain, or we are broke!
But with her saihng weight the Holland keel,
Snapping tlie brittle links, does thorough reel,
And to the rest the opening passage show ;
Monk from the bank that dismal sight does view ;
Our feather gallants, who came down that day
To be spectatoi-s safe of the new play,
Leave him alone when first they hear the gun,
Cornbury the fleetest, and to London run.
Our seamen, whom no danger's shape could
fright.
Unpaid, refuse to mount their ships for spite.
Or to their fellows swim on board the Dutch,
Who show the tempting metal in their clutch.
Oft had he sent, of Diincombe and of Legge,
Cannon and powder, but in vain, to beg ;
And Upnor eastle*s ill-deserted wall.
Now needful does for ammunition calL
He finds, where'er he succour might expect.
Confusion, folly, treachery, fear, neglect.
But when the Royal Charles (what rage ! what
grief ! )
fie saw seized, and could give her no relief;
That sacred keel that had, as he, restored
Its exiled soverei«;ii on its happy board,
And thence the Uritish Admiral became,
. Crowned for that him it with his master's name;
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OP MARVELL. 233
That pleasure-boat of war, in whose dear side
Secure, so oft he had this foe defied,
Now a cheap spoil, and the mean victor's slave,
Taught the Dutch colours from its top to wave, —
Of former glories the reproachful thought,
With present shame compared, his mind distort.
Such from Euphrates' bank, a tigress fell
After her robbei*s for her whelps doth yell.
But sees enraged the river flow between.
Frustrate revenge, and love by loss more keen ;
At her own breast her useless claws does arm.
She tears herself, 'cause him she cannot harm.
The guards, placed for the cliain*s and fleet's
defence.
Long since were fled on many a feigned pretence.
Daniel had there adventured, man of might ;
Sweet Painter, draw his picture while I write.
Paint him of pei'son tall, and big of bone.
Large limbs like ox, not to be killed but shown.
Scarce can burned ivory feign a hair so black.
Or face so red thine ochre and thy lac ;
Mix a vain terror in his martial Un^k,
And all those lines by which mcMi are mistook.
But when by shame constraiiutl to go on board,
He heard how the wild cannon iK^uier roared.
And saw himself confined lik'' -hrep in pen,
Daniel then thought he was in lion's den.
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234 THE POKM8
But when the fire-ships terrible he saw,
Pregnaot with sulphur, nearer to him draw.
Captain, Lieutenant, Ensign, all make haste.
Ere in the fiery furnace they be cast ;
Three children tall, unsinged, away they row.
Like Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednego.
Each doleful day still with fresh loss returns.
The Loyal London now a third time bums ;
And the true Royal Oak, and Royal James,
Allied in fate, increase with theirs her flames.
Of all our navy none should now survive.
But that the ships themselves were taught to
dive,
And the kind river in its creek them hides,
Freighting their pierced keels with oozy tides ;
Up to the bridge contagious terror struck.
The Tower itself with the near danger shook ;
And were not Ruyter's maw with ravage cloyed,
Even London*s aslies had been then destroyed.
OtRcious fear, however to prevent
Our loss, does so much more our loss augment.
The Dutch had robbed those jewels of the crown ;
Our merchant-men, lest they should burn, we
drown :
So when the fire did not enough devour,
The houses were demolished near the Tower.
'I'liose ships that yearly from their teeming hole
Unloaded here the birth of either pole.
Fir from tlie north, and silver from the west,
From the south perfumes, spices IVoin the 'jiist.
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OP MAliVELL. 235
From Gambo gold, and from the Ganges gems,
Take a short voyage underneatli the Thames,
Once a deep river, now with timber floored,
And shrunk, less navigable, to a ford.
Now nothing more at Chatham 's left to burn,
The Holland squadron leisurely return ;
And spite of Rupert's and of Albemarle's,
To Ruyter's triumph led the captive Cliarles.
The pleasing sight he often does prolong,
Her mast erect, tough cordage, timber strong.
Her moving shape, all these he doth survey,
And all admires, but most his easy prey.
The seamen search her all within, without ;
Viewing her strength, they yet their conquest
doubt ;
Then with rude shouts, secure, the air they vex:,
With gamesome joy insulting on her decks.
Such the feared Hebrew captive, blinded, shorn,
Was led about in sport the public scorn.
Black day accursed! on thee let no man
hail
Out of the port, or dare to hoist a sail.
Or row a boat in thy unlucky hour !
Tliee, the year's monster, let thy dam devour,
And constant Time, to keep his course yet right,
Fill up thy space with a redoubled night.
When aged Thames was bound with fetters base,
And Midway chaste ravished before his face.
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236 THE POEMS
And their dear offspring mui*dered in their sight,
Thou and thy fellows saw the odious light.
Sad Chance, since first that happy pair was wed,
With all the rivers graced their nuptial bed ;
And father Neptune promised to resign
His empire old to their immortal line ;
Now with vain grief their vainer hopes they rue,
TJiemselves dishonoured, and the gods untrue ;
And to each other, helpless couple, moan.
As the sad tortoise for the sea does groan ;
But most they for their darling Charles complain,
And were it burned, yet less would be their
pain.
To sec that fatal pledge of sea-command,
Now in the ravisher De Ruyter's hand,
The Thames roared, swooning Medway turned
her tide.
And were they mortal, both for grief had died.
The court in flattering yet itself doth please,
(And female Stewart there rules the four seas. )
But fate does still accumulate our woes.
And Richmond her commands, as Huyter those.
After this loss, to relish discontent,
Some one must be accused by parliament.
All our miscarriages on Pett must fall.
His name alone seems fit to answer all.
Whose counsel first did this mad war beget?
Who all commands sold through the navy? Pett.
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OF MARVELL. 237
Who would not follow when the Dutch were
beat?
Who treated out the time at Bergen ? Pett.
Who the Dutch fleet with storms disabled met ?
And, rifling prizes,'lhem neglected? Pett.
Who with false news prevented the Gazette ?
The fleet divided ? writ for Rupert ? Pett.
Who all our seamen cheated of their debt,
And all our prizes who did swallow ? Pett.
Who did advise no navy out to set ?
And who the forts left unprepared ? Pett.
Who to supply with powder did forget
Languard, Sheerness, Gravesend, and Upnor ?
Pett.
Who all our ships exposed in Chatham net?
Who should it be but the fanatic Pett ?
Pett, the sea-architect in making ships,
Was the first cause of all these naval slips ;
Had he not built, none of these faults had been ;
1£ no creation, there had been no sin ;
But his great crime, one boat away he sent,
That lost our fleet and did our flight prevent.
Then, that reward might in its turn take place,
And march with punishinent in equal pace,
Southampton dead, much of the treasure's care,
And place in council, ft:ll to Duncombe's share.
All men admired he to that pitch could fly :
Powder ne'er blew tnun up so soon, so high ;
But sure his late good luisbaridry in petre.
Showed him to man:i;:i' tlie Exchequer meeter ;
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233 THE POEMS
And who the forts would not vouchsafe a com.
To lavish the king's money more would scorn ;
Who hath no chimneys, to give all, is best,
And ablest speaker, who of law hath least;
Who less esUitc, for treasurer most fit.
And for a chancellor he that has least wit ;
But tlie true cause was, that in 's brother May,
The Exchequer might the privy-purse obey.
And now draws near the parliament's return ;
Hyde and the court again begin to mourn ;
Frequent in council, earnest in debate,
All arts they try how to prolong its date.
GiTive Primate Sheldon (much in preaching
there)
. Blames the last session, and this more does fear:
With Boynton or with Middlcton 'twere sweet,
But with a parliament abhors to meet ;
And thinks 'twill ne'er be well within this nation,
Till it be governed by a Convocation.
But in the Thames' mouth still De Ruyter
laid ;
The peace not sure, new army must be paid.
Hyde saith he hourly waits for a despatch ;
Harry came post just as he showed his watch.
All to agree the articlc»^ were clear.
The Holland fleet and parliament so near,
Yet Harry must job back and all mature.
Binding, ere tlie houses meet, the treaty sure ;
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OP MARVELL. 239
And 'twixt necessity and spite, till then
Let them come up, so to go down again.
Up ambles country justice on his pad,
And vest bespeaks, to be more seemly clad.
Plain gentlemen are in stage-coach o'erthrown.
And deputy-lieutenants in their own ;
The portly burgess, through the weather hot,
Does for his corporation sweat and trot ;
And all with sun and choler come adust.
And threaten Hyde to raise a greater dust.
But fresh, as from the mint, the courtiers fine
Salute them, smiling at their vain design ;
And Turner gay up to his perch doth march.
With face new bleached, smoothed, and stiff with
starch ;
Tells them he at Whitehall had took a turn,
And for three days thence moves tliem to adjourn.
Not so, quoth Tomkins, and straight drew his
tongue,
Trusty as steel that always ready hung ;
And so proceeding in his motion warm,
The army soon raised, he doth as soon disarm.
True Trojan ! whilst this town can girls afford.
And long as cider lasts in Hereford,
The girls shall always kiss thee, though grown old.
And in eternal healths thy name be trolled.
Meanwhile the certain news of peace arrives
At court, and so reprieves their guilty lives.
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240 TlIK rOE3IS
Hyde orders Turner that he should come lato,
Lest some new Tomkins spring a fresh debate ;
The king, that early raised was from Iiis rest,
Expects, as at a play, till Turner *s dressed ;
At last, together Eaton came and he.
No dial more could with the sun agree ;
The speaker, summoned to the Lords, repairs.
Nor gave the Commons leave to say their
prayei-s,
But like his prisoners to the bar them led,
Where mute they stand to hear their sentence
read :
Trembling with joy and fear, Hyde them pro-
rogues,
And had almost mistook, and called them rogues.
Dear Painter, draw this Speaker to the foot :
Where pencil cannot, there my pen shall do*t ;
That may his body, this his mind explain ;
Paint him in golden gown with mace's train ;
Bright hair, fair face, obscure and dull of head,
Like knife with ivory hatl, and edge of U. u\ :
At prayers his eyes turn up the pious white,
But all the while his private bill *s in sight :
In chair he smoking sits like master c(K)k,
And a poll-bill does like his apron look.
Well was he skilled to season any question.
And make a sauce fit for Whitehall's dig<'-h«>n,
Whence every day, the prelate more to tuUh. *,
Court-mushrooms ready are sent in to pi<kle.
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OF MAKYELL. 241
When grievances urged, he swells like squatted
toad,
Frisks like a frog to croak a tax's load:
His patient piss he could hold longer than:
An urinal, and sit like any hen ;
At table jolly as a country host,
And soaks his sack with Norfolk like a toast ;
At night than Chanticleer more brisk and hot,.
And sergeant's wife serves him for Partelot.
Paint last the King, and a dead shade of night,.
Only dispersed by a weak taper's light.
And those bright gleams which dart along and
glare
From his clear eyes, (yet these too dart with care ;).
There, as in the calm horror all alone,
He wakes and muses of the uneasy throne,
Raise up a sudden shape with virgin's face,
Though ill agree her posture, hour or place ;.
Naked as born, and her round arms behind.
Where like the new comptroller all men laugh^
To see a tall louse brandish a white staff,
Else shall thou ofl thy guiltless pencil curse,
Stamp on thy pallet, not perhaps the worse.
The painter having so long vexed his cloth,
Of his hound's mouth to feign the raging froth,
His desperate pencil at the work did dart ;
His anger reached that rage which passed-
his art ;
Chance finished that, which art could not begin,.
And he sat smiting as his dog did grin.
So mayest thou perfect by a lucky blow,
What all thy soflest touches cannot do.
Paint then St. Alban's full of soup and gold,.
The new court's pattern, stallion of the old,
Him neither wit nor courage did exalt,
But Fortune chose him for her pleasure's salt.
Paint him with drayman's shoulders, butcher's
mien,
Membered like mule, with elephantine chin.
Well he the title of St. Alban's bore.
For never Bacon studied nature more ;
But age, allaying now that youthful heat,
Fits him in France to play at cards, and cheat;
Draw no commission, lest the court should lie.
And, disavowing treaty, ask supply.
He needs no seal but to St. James's lease.
Whose breeches were the instruments of peace ;
14
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^0 THE POEMS
Who, if the French dispute his power, from
thence
Can straight produce them a plenipotence.
Nor fears he the Most Christian should trepan
Two saints at once, St German and Alban ;
But thought the golden age was now restored.
When men and women took each other's word.
Paint then again her highness to the life,
Philosopher beyond Newcastle's wife.
She naked can Archimedes' self put down.
For an experiment upon the crown.
She perfected that engine oft essayed,
How after child-birth to renew a maid ;
And found how royal heirs might be matured
In fewer months than mothers once endured.
Hence Crowder made the rare inventress free
Of *s Highness's Royal Society.
Happiest of women if she were but able
To make her glassen Duke once malleable !
Paint her with oyster-lip, and breath of fame,
Wide mouth, that sparagus may well proclaim ;
With chancellor's belly, and so large a rump.
Where (not behind the coach) h(-r pages jump.
Express her studying now, if Clnna clay
Can, without breaking, venomed juice convey :
Or how a mortal poison she may draw
Out of the cordial meal of the cocoa.
Witness ye stars oi' night, and thou the pale
Moon, thato'ercome with the su k steam, didst fail:
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OF MARVELL. 211
Ye neighbVing elms, which your green leaves
did slied,
And fawns which from the womb abortive fled.
Not unprovoked she tries forbidden arts,
But in her soft- breast love's hid cancer smarts,
While she resolves at once Sydney's disgrace.
And herself scorned for emulous Denham's
face ; *
And nightly hears the hated guard, away
Galloping with the Duke to other prey.
Paint Castlemain in colours which will hold
Her, not her picture, for she now grows old.
She through her lackey's drawers, as he ran,
Discerned love's cause, and a new flame began.
Her wonted joys thenceforth, and court, she
shuns,
And still within her mind the footman runs ;
His brazen calves, his brawny thighs, (the face
She slights) his feet shaped for a smoother race !
Then, poring with her glass, she re-adjusts ;
Her locks, and oft-tried beauty now distrusts ;
Feai*s lest he scorned a woman once assayed,
And now fii-st wished she e'er had been a maid.
Great love ! how dost thou triumph, and how
reign.
That to a groom couldst humble her disdain !
* The Duke of York was thought to have an intrigue with
Sir John Denham^s lady.
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212 THE POEMS
Stripped to her skin, see how she stooping
stands,
Nor scorns to rub him down with those fair
hands,
And washing (lest the scent her crime disclose)
His sweaty hoofs, tickles him betwixt the toes.
But envious fame too soon began to note
More gold in 's fob, more lace upon his coat ;
And he unweary, and of tongue too fleet*
No longer could conceal his fortune sweet.
Justly the rogue was whipped in Porter's den,
And Jei*main straight has leave to come again.
Ah Painter ! now could Alexander live.
And this Campaspe the Apelles give ! *
Draw next a pair of tables opening, then
The House of Commons clattering like the men.
Describe the court and country both set right
On opposite points, the black against the white.
Those having lost the nation at tick-tack,
These now adventuring how to win it back.
The dice betwixt them must the fate divide,
As chance does still in multitudes decide.
But here the court doth its advantage know.
For the cheat, Turner, for them both mui^t
throw ;
♦ Campfispe was Alexander's mistress, whom ApelN^s, by
Alexander's command, painted naked, and fell violently in
love with her. Alexander perceived it, and, for fear of any
fatal consequence to ApoUes, gave her to him.
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OF MARVELL. 213
As some from boxes, he so from the chair
Can strike the dice, and still with them have share.
Here, Painter, rest a little and survey
Witii what small ai*ts the public game they play :
For so too, Rubens, with afikirs of state.
His labouring pencil ofl would recreate.
The close Cabal marked how the navy eats,
And thought all lost that goes not to the cheats :
So therefore secretly for peace decrees.
Yet for a wai- the parliament would squeeze ;
And fix to the revenue such a sum
Should Goodrick silence, and make Paston dumb,
Should pay land armies, should dissolve the vain
Commons, and ever such a court maintain,
Hyde's avarice, Bennet's luxury, should suffice,
And what can these defray but the excise,
Excise, a monster worse than e'er before
Frighted tiie midwife, and the mother tore ?
A thousand hands she has, a thousand eyes,
Breaks into shops, and into cellars pries ;
With iiundred rows of teeth the shark exceeds,
And on ail trades, like Casawar, she feeds ;
Chops off the piece where'er she close the jaw,
Else swallows all down her indented maw.
She stalks all day in streets, concealed from sight,
And flies like bats with leathern wings by night ;
She wav^ii^s the country, and on cities preys.
Her, ot a female harpy in dog-days,
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214 THE POEMS
Black Birch, of all the earth-born race most hot,
And most rapacious, like himself begot ;
And of his brat enamoured, as she increased.
Buggered in inc<»st with the mongrel beast.
Say Muse, for nothing can escape thy sight.
And Painter, wanting other, draw this fight.
Who in an English senate fierce debate
Could raise so long, for this new whore of state.
Of early wittols first the troop marched in,
For diligence renowned, and discipline ;
In loyal haste they left your wives in bed.
And Denham these with one consent did head.
Of the old courtiers next a squadron came,
Who sold their master, led by Ashburnham.
To them succeeds a despicable rout,
But knew the word, and well could face about ;
Expectants pale, with hopes of spoil allured.
Though yet but pioneers, and led by Steward.
Then damning cowards ranged the vocal plain ;
Wood these commands, knight of the horn and
cane :
Still his hook-shoulder seems the blow to dread,
And under 's arm -pit he defends his head.
The posture strange men laugh at, of his poll
Hid with his elbow like the spice he stole :
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OF MARVKLL. 215
Headless St. Dennis so his head does bear,
And both of them alike French martyrs were.
Court officers, as used, the next place took,
And followed F x, but with disdainful
look:
His birth, his youth, his brokage all dispraise
In vain ; for always he commands that pays.
Then the procurers under Progers filed.
Gentlest of men, and his lieutenant mild ;
Bronkard, love's squire, through all the field
arrayed,
No troop was better clad, nor so well paid.
Then marched the troop of Clarendon, all full,
Haters of fowl, to teal preferring bull ;
Gross bodies, grosser minds, and grosser cheats,
And bloated Wren conducts them to their seats.
Charlton advances next (whose wife does awe
The mitred troop) and with his looks gives law.
He marched with beaver cocked of bishop's brim.
And hid much fraud under an aspect grim.
Next do the lawyers, sordid band, appear.
Finch in the front, and Thurland in the rear. .
The troop of privilege, a rabble bare
Of debtors deep, fell to Trelawney's care ;
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21 G THE POEMS
Their fortune's error thej supplied in rage,
Nor any farther would than these engage.
Then inarched the troop, whose valiant acts
before
Their public acts, obliged them to do more,
For chimney's sake they all Sir Pool obeyed.
Or, in his absence, him that first it laid.
Then came the thrifty troop of privateers.
Whose horses each with other interferes :
Before them Higgins rides with brow compact,
Mourning his countess, anxious for his act
Sir Frederick and Sir Solomon draw lots.
For the command of politics and Scots ;
Thence fell to words ; but quarrels to adjourn,
Their friends agreed they should command by turn.
Carteret the rich did the accountants guide.
And in ill English all the world defied.
The papists (but of those the house had none,
Else) Talbot offered to have led them on.
Bold Duncotob next, of the projectors chief,
And old Fitz Harding of tlie eaters beef.
Late and disordered out tlie drunkards drew,
Scarce them their leaders, \\wy their leaders knew.
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OF MARVELL. 2l7
Before them entered, equal in command,
Apslej and Brotherick marching hand in hand.
Last then but one, Powel, that could not ride
Left the French standard weltering in his stride ;
He, to excuse his slowness, truth confessed,
That 'twas so long before he could be dressed.
The lords' sons last all these did reenforcc,
Cornburj before them managed hobby-horse.
Never before nor since an host so steeled
Trooped on to muster in the Tuttle-field.
Not the first cock-horse that with cork was
shod
To rescue Albemarle from the sea-cod :
Nor the late feather-man, whom Tomkins fierce
Shall with one breath like thistle down disperse.
All the two Coventrys their generals chose.
For one had much, the other nought to lose.
Not better choice all accidents could hit.
While hector Harry steere by Will the wit.
They both accept the charge with merry glee.
To fight a battle from all gunshot free.
Pleased with their numbers, yet in valour wise.
They feigned a parley, better to surprise,
They who ere long shall the rude Dutch
upbraid,
Who in a time of treaty dare invade.
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218 THE POEMS
Thick was the morning, and the house was
thin,
The speaker early, when they all fell in.
Propitious heavens I had not you them crossed,
Excise had got the day, and all been lost :
For t'other side all in close quarters lay
Without intelligence, command or pay ;
A scattered body, which the foe ne'er tried,
But often did among themselves divide.
And some run o'er each night, while others
sleep.
And undescried returned 'fore morning peep.
But Strangeways, who all night still walked the
round.
For vigilance and courage both renowned,
First spied the enemy, and gave the alarm,
Fighting it single till the rest might arm ;
Such Roman Cocles stood before the foe,
The falling bridge behind, the streams below. *
Each ran as chance him guides to several i)ost.
And all to pattern his example, boast ;
Their former trophies they recall to mind,
And now, to edge their anger, courage grind.
First entered forward Temple, conqueror
Of Irish cattle, and solicitor.
* Codes, a noble Romaiif maintained a pass alone, and
kcpl back a whole army, till the bridge behind Jiim was
broke down, and then throw himself into the Tihci, ;uid
swam to laud.
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• OP MARVELL. . 219
Then daring S — ^r, that with spear and shield
Had stretched the monster patent on the field.
Keen Whoorwood next in aid of damsel frail,
That pierced the giant Mordaunt through his
mail:
And surly Williams the accountant's bane,
And Lovelace young of chimney-men the cane.
Old Waller, trumpet general, swore he'd write
This combat truer than the naval fight.
Of birth, state, wit, strength, courage, Howaitl
presumes,
And in his breast wears many Montezumes. *
These, with some more, with single valour stay
The adverse troops, and hold them all at bay.
Each thinks his person represents the whole,
And with that thought does multiply his soul ;
Believes himself an army ; there's one man,
As easily conquered ; and believing, can
With heart of bees so full and head of mites,
That each, though duelling, a battle fights.
So once Orlando, famous in romance.
Broached whole brigades like larks upon liis
lance.
But strength at last still under number bows,
And the faint sweat trickling down Temple's
brows;
* Montezuma is the hero of the Indian Queen, n tr:i<;cMiy
written by Mr. Dryden and Sir Robert Howard.
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220 THE P0EM3
Even iron Strange way chasing yet gave back,
Spent with fatigue to breathe a while tobac.
When marching in; a seasonable recruit
Of citizens and merchants held dispute,
And charging all their pipes, a sullen band
Of Presbyterian Switzers made a stand.
Nor could all these the field have long main*
tained.
But for the unknown reserve that still re-
mained ;
A gross of English gentry, nobly bom,
Of clear estiUes, and to no faction sworn.
Dear lovers of their king, and death to meet
For country's cause, that glorious thing and
sweet ;
To speak not forward, but in action brave,
In giving generous, but in council grave;
Candidly credulous for once, nay twice ;
But sure the devil ciinnot cheat them thrice.
The van in battle, though retiring, falls
Without disorder in their intervals.
Then closing all, in equal front, fall on.
Led by great Garraway, and great Littleton.
Lee equal to obey, or to command,
Adjutant-general was still at hand.
The marshal standard, Sands displaying, shows
St. Dunstan in it tweaking Satan's nose.
See sudden chance of war, to paint or write.
Is longer work, and liarder than to fight:
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OP MARVELL. 221
At the first charge the enemy give out,
And the excise receives a total rout.
Broken in courage, yet the men the same,
Resolve henceforth upon their other game :
Where force had failed, with stratagem to play,
And what haste lost, recover by delay.
St. Albans straight is sent to, to forbear.
Lest the sure peace (forsooth) too soon appear.
The seamen's clamours to three ends they use.
To cheat their pay, feign want, and the house
accuse.
Each day they bring the tale and that too true.
How strong the Dutch their equipage renew ;
Meantime through all the yards their orders run.
To lay the ships up, cease tlie keels begun.
The timber rots, the useless axe does rust ;
The unpractised saw lies buried in its dust ;
The busy hammer sleeps, the ropes untwine ;
The store and wages all are mine and thine ;
Along the coasts and harbours they take care
That money lacks, nor forts be in repair.
Long thus they could against the house con-
spire.
Load them with envy, and with sitting tire ;
And the loved king, that's never yet denied.
Is brought to beg in public, and to chide :
But when this failed, and months enough were
spent.
They with the first day's proffer seem content ;
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222 THE rOEMS
And to land-tax from the excise turn round,
Bought off with eighteen hundred thousand
pound.
Thus like fair thieves, the Ck>mmons' purse thej
share.
But all the members' lives consulting spare.
Blither than hare that hath escaped the
hounds,
The house prorogued, the chancellor rebounds.
Not so decrepid . ^on, hashed and stewed
With magic herbs, rose from the pot renewed,
And with fresh age felt his glad limbs unite,
His gout (yet still he cursed) had left him
quite.
What frosts to fruits, what arsenic to the raty.
What to fair Denham mortal chocolate.
What an account to Carteret, that and more,
A parliament is to the chancellor.
So the sad tree shrinks from the morning's eye.
But blooms all night and shoots its -branches
high;
So at the sun's recess, again returns
The comet dread, and earth and heaven bums.
Now Mordaunt may within his castle tower
Imprison parents, and their child deflower.
The Irish herd is now let loose, and comes
By millions over, not by hecatombs ;
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OP MARVELL. 223
And now, now the Canary patent may
Be broached again for the great Holy-day.
See how he reigns in his new palace culminant,
And sits in state divine like Jove the fulminant.
First Buckingham that durst 'gainst him rebel,
Blasted with liglitning, struck with thunder fell.
Next the twelve commons are condemned to
groan,
And roll in vain at Sisyphus's stone.
But still he cared, whilst in revenge he braved,
That peace secured, and money might be saved.
Gain and revenge, revenge and gain, are
sweet ;
United most, when most by turns they meet
France had St. Albans promised, (so they sing)
St. Albans promised him, and he the king.
The court forthwith is ordered all to close.
To play for Flanders, and the stake to lose.
While chained together, two ambassadors
Like slaves shall beg for peace at Holland's
doors.
This done, among his Cyclops he retires
To forge new thunder, and inspect their fires.
The court, as once of war, now fond of peace.
All to new sports their wonted fears release.
From Greenwich (where intelligence they hold)
Comes news of pastime martial and old.
A punishment invented first to awe
]Masculine wives transgressing nature's law ;
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224 THE POEMS
Where when the brawny female disobeys,
And beats the husband, till for peace he prays.
No concerned jury damage for him finds,
Nor partial justice her behaviour binds ;
But the just street does the next house invade.
Mounting the neighbour couple on lean jade.
The distaff knocks, the grains from kettle fly.
And boys and girls in troops run hooting by.
Prudent antiquity ! that knew by shame.
Better than law, domestic broils to tame ;
And taught the youth by spectacle innocent :
So thou and I, dear Painter, represent
In quick cffisyi others' faults ; and feign.
By making them ridiculous, to restrain ;
With homely sight they chose thus to relax
The joys of state for the new peace and tax.
So Holland with us had the mastery tried,
And our next neighbours, France and Flanders,
ride.
But a fresh news the great designment nips
Off, at the isle of Candy ; Dutch and ships
Bab May and Arlington did wisely scoff.
And tliought all safe if they were so far off.
Modern geographers I 'twas there they thought,
Where Venice twenty years the Turks had fought,
(While the first year the navy is but shown,
The next divided, and the third we've none.
They by the name mistook it for that isle,
Wliere pilgrim Palmer travelled in exile,
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OP MARVELL. 225
With the bull's horn to measure his own head,
And on Pasiphae's tomb to drop a bead.
But Morrice learned demonstrates by the post.
This isle o£ Candy was on Essex coast.
Fresh messengers still the sad news assure.
More timorous now we are than first secure.
False terrors our believing fears devise,
And the French army one from Calais spies.
Bennet and May, and those of shorter reach,
Change all for guineas, and a crown for each ;
But wiser men, and men foreseen in chance.
In Holland theirs had lodged before, and
Friftice ;
Whitehall 's unsafe, the court all meditates
To fly to Windsor, and mure up the gates.
Each doth the other blame and all distrust,
But Mordaunt new obliged would sure be just.
Not such a fatal stupefaction reigned
At London flames, nor so the court complained.
The Blood worth Chancellor gives (then does
recall)
Orders, amazed, at last gives none at all.
St. Albans writ too, that he may bewail
To Monsieur Lewis, and tell coward tale,
How that the Hollanders do make a noise.
Threaten to beat us and are naughty boys.
Now Doleman 's disobedient, and they still
Uncivil, his uii kindness would us kill :
15
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226 THE POEMS
Tell him our ships unrigged, our forts unmanned,
Our money spent, else *t\vere at his command ;
Summon him tlierefore of his word, and prove
To move him out of pity, if not love ;
Pray him to make De Wit and Ruyter cease,
And whip the Dutch unless they hold their
peace.
But Lewis was of memory but dull,
And to St. Albans too undutiful ;
Nor word nor near relation did revere,
But asked him bluntly for his character.
The gravelled count did with this answer faint,
(His character was that which thou didst paint)
And so enforced like eriemy or spy,
Tinisses his baggage, and the camp does fly :
Yet Lewis writes, and lest our heart should break.
Condoles us morally out of Senec.
Two letters next unto Breda are sent,
In cipher one to Harry Excellent.
The first intrusts (our verse that name abhors)
Plenipotentiary embassadors
To prove by Scripture, treaty does imply
Cessation, as the look adultery ;
And that by law of arms, in martial strife,
Who yields his sword, has title to his life.
Presbyter Hollis the first point should clear,
The second Coventry the cavalier :
But, would they not be argued back from sea,
Then to return home straight xnfectd re.
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OF MARVKLL. 227
But Harry 's ordered, if they won't recall
Their fleet, to threaten, — we will give them all.
The Dutch are then in proclamation shent.
For sin against the eleventh commandment.
Hyde's flippant style there pleasantly curvets,
Still his sharp wit on states and princes whets :
So Spain could not escape his laughter's spleen,
None but himself must choose the king and queen.
But when he came the odious clause to pen,
That summons up the parliament agen,
His writing-master many times he banned,
And wished himself the gout to seize his hand.
Never old lecher more repugnant felt,
Consenting for his rupture to be gelt.
But still in hope he solaced, ere they come
To work the peace, and so to send them home ;
Or in their hasty call to find a flaw.
Their acts to vitiate, and them overawe :
But more relied upon tin's Dutch pretence,
To raise a two-edged army for *s defence.
First then he marched our whole militia's force,
(As if, alas ! we ships, or Dutch had horse ;)
Then from the usual commonplace he blames
These, and in standing armies' praise declaims ;
And the wise court, that always loved it dear.
Now thinks all but too little for their fe^ir.
Hyde stamps, and straight upon the ground the
swarms
Of current myrmidons appear in arms :
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228 THE POEMS
And for their pay ho writes as from the king,
With that cursed quill plucked from a vulture's
wing,
Of the whole nation now to ask a loan ;
The eighteen hundred thousand pounds are gone.
This done, he pens a proclamation stout
In rescue of the bankers banquerout,
Ui. s minion imps, which in his secret part
Lie nuzzling at the sacramental wart,
Horse-leeches sucking at the hemorrhoid vein ;
lie sucks the king, they him, he them again.
Ti\e kingdom's farm he lets to them bid least,
(Greater the bribe) and cheats at interest.
Here men induced by safety, gain, and ease,
Tlieir money lodge, confiscate when he please ;
These can at need, at instant with a scrip,
(This hked him best) his cash beyond sea whip.
When Dutch invade, and parliament prepare ;
How can he engines so convenient spare ?
Let no man touch them, or demand his own.
Pain of displeasure of great Clarendon.
The state-afifairs thus marshalled, for the rest,
Monk in his shirt against the Duteli is pressed.
Often, dear Painter, have I sat and nuiscd
Why he should be on all adventures used ;
Do they for nothing ill, like ashen wood,
Oi* think him, like Herb-John, for nothing good ?
Whether his valour they so much admire,
Or that for cowardice they all retiie,
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OF MARVELL. 229
As heaven in storms, they call, in gusts of state,
On Monk and Parliament, — yet both do hate.
All causes sure concur, but most they think
Under Herculean labours he may sink.
Soon then the independent troops would close,
And Hyde's last project of his place dispose.
Ruyter, the while,* that had our ocean curbed,
Sailed now amongst our rivers undisturbed ;
Surveyed their crystal streams and banks so
green.
And beauties ere this never naked seen :
Through the vain sedge the bashful nymphs he
eyed.
Bosoms, and all which from themselves they hide.
The sun much brighter, and tlie sky more clear.
He finds, the air and all things sweeter heru ;
The sudden change, and such a tempting sight,
Swells his old veins with fresh blood, fresh
delight ;
Like amorous victors he begins to shave,
And his new face looks in the English wave ;
His sporting navy all about him swim,
And witness their complacence in their trim ;
Their streaming silks play through the weather
fair.
And with inveigling colours court the air,
While the red fiags breathe on their topmasts high
Terror and war, but want an enemy.
* The Dutch Admiral who burned our i^hips tii (l. iitham.
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230 THK rOKMS
Among the shrouds the seamen sit and sing,
And wanton boys on every rope do cling :
Old Neptune springs the tides, and waters lent,
(The Gods themselves do help the provident)
And where the deep keel on the shallow cleave? ,
With trident's lever and great shoulder heaves ;
^olus their sails inspires with eastern wind,
Puffs them along, and breathes upon them kind ;
With pearly shell the Tritons all the while
Sound the sea-march, and guide to Sheppy isle.
So have I seen in April's bud arise
A fleet of clouds sailing along the skies ;
The liquid region with their squadrons filled.
Their airy sterns the sun behind doth gild.
And gentle gales them steer, and heaven drives,
When all on sudden their calm bosom rives,
With thunder and lightning from each armed
cloud ;
Shepherds themselves in vain in bushes shroud ; —
So up the stream the Belgic navy glides,
And at Sheerness unloads its stormy sides.
Sprag there, though practised in the sr:i-
command.
With panting heart lay like a fish on land,
And quickly judged the fort was not tenal'lc
Which if a house, yet were not tenantabic ;
Ko man can sit there safe, the cannon pours
Through walls untight, and through the bullci
showers.
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OF MARVELL. 231
The neighbourhood ill, and an unwholsome seat,
He at the first salute resolves retreat;
And swore that he would never more dwell
there,
Until the city put it in repair ;
So he in front, his garrison in rear,
Marched straight to Chatham to increase their
fear.
There our sick ships unrigged in summer lay,
Like moulting fowl, a weak and easy prey.
For whose strong bulk earth scarce could timber
find,
The ocean water, or the heavens wind,
Those oaken giants of the ancient race.
That ruled all seas, and did our channel grace ;
The conscious stag, though once the forest's
dread.
Flies to the wood, and hides his armless head.
Ruyter forthwith a squadron doth untack ;
They sail securely through the river's track.
An English pilot too (O, shame ! O, sin ! ) •
Cheated of 's pay, was he that showed them in.
Our wretched ships within their fate attend.
And all our hopes now on frail chain depend,
(Engine so slight to guard us from the sea,
It fitter seemed to cai)tivate a flea ;)
A skipper rude shocks it without respect,
Filling his sails more force to recollect ;
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282 THE POEMS
The English from shore the iron deaf invoke
For its last aid : hold, chain, or we are broke!
But with her saihng weight the Holland keel,
Snapping tlie brittle links, does thorough reel,
And to the rest the opening passage show ;
Monk from the bank that dismal sight does view ;
Our feather gallants, who came down that day
To be spectatoi-s safe of the new play,
Leave him alone when first they hear the gun,
Cornbury the fleetest, and to London run.
Our seamen, whom no danger's shape could
fright.
Unpaid, refuse to mount their ships for spite.
Or to their fellows swim on board the Dutch,
Who show the tempting metal in their clutch.
Oft had he sent, of Diincombe and of Legge,
Cannon and powder, but in vain, to beg ;
And Upnor eastle*s ill-deserted wall.
Now needful does for ammunition calL
He finds, where'er he succour might expect.
Confusion, folly, treachery, fear, neglect.
But when the Royal Charles (what rage ! what
grief ! )
fie saw seized, and could give her no relief;
That sacred keel that had, as he, restored
Its exiled soverei«;ii on its happy board,
And thence the Uritish Admiral became,
. Crowned for that him it with his master's name;
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OP MARVELL. 233
That pleasure-boat of war, in whose dear side
Secure, so oft he had this foe defied,
Now a cheap spoil, and the mean victor's slave,
Taught the Dutch colours from its top to wave, —
Of former glories the reproachful thought,
With present shame compared, his mind distort.
Such from Euphrates' bank, a tigress fell
After her robbei*s for her whelps doth yell.
But sees enraged the river flow between.
Frustrate revenge, and love by loss more keen ;
At her own breast her useless claws does arm.
She tears herself, 'cause him she cannot harm.
The guards, placed for the cliain*s and fleet's
defence.
Long since were fled on many a feigned pretence.
Daniel had there adventured, man of might ;
Sweet Painter, draw his picture while I write.
Paint him of pei'son tall, and big of bone.
Large limbs like ox, not to be killed but shown.
Scarce can burned ivory feign a hair so black.
Or face so red thine ochre and thy lac ;
Mix a vain terror in his martial Un^k,
And all those lines by which mcMi are mistook.
But when by shame constraiiutl to go on board,
He heard how the wild cannon iK^uier roared.
And saw himself confined lik'' -hrep in pen,
Daniel then thought he was in lion's den.
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234 THE POKM8
But when the fire-ships terrible he saw,
Pregnaot with sulphur, nearer to him draw.
Captain, Lieutenant, Ensign, all make haste.
Ere in the fiery furnace they be cast ;
Three children tall, unsinged, away they row.
Like Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednego.
Each doleful day still with fresh loss returns.
The Loyal London now a third time bums ;
And the true Royal Oak, and Royal James,
Allied in fate, increase with theirs her flames.
Of all our navy none should now survive.
But that the ships themselves were taught to
dive,
And the kind river in its creek them hides,
Freighting their pierced keels with oozy tides ;
Up to the bridge contagious terror struck.
The Tower itself with the near danger shook ;
And were not Ruyter's maw with ravage cloyed,
Even London*s aslies had been then destroyed.
OtRcious fear, however to prevent
Our loss, does so much more our loss augment.
The Dutch had robbed those jewels of the crown ;
Our merchant-men, lest they should burn, we
drown :
So when the fire did not enough devour,
The houses were demolished near the Tower.
'I'liose ships that yearly from their teeming hole
Unloaded here the birth of either pole.
Fir from tlie north, and silver from the west,
From the south perfumes, spices IVoin the 'jiist.
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OP MAliVELL. 235
From Gambo gold, and from the Ganges gems,
Take a short voyage underneatli the Thames,
Once a deep river, now with timber floored,
And shrunk, less navigable, to a ford.
Now nothing more at Chatham 's left to burn,
The Holland squadron leisurely return ;
And spite of Rupert's and of Albemarle's,
To Ruyter's triumph led the captive Cliarles.
The pleasing sight he often does prolong,
Her mast erect, tough cordage, timber strong.
Her moving shape, all these he doth survey,
And all admires, but most his easy prey.
The seamen search her all within, without ;
Viewing her strength, they yet their conquest
doubt ;
Then with rude shouts, secure, the air they vex:,
With gamesome joy insulting on her decks.
Such the feared Hebrew captive, blinded, shorn,
Was led about in sport the public scorn.
Black day accursed! on thee let no man
hail
Out of the port, or dare to hoist a sail.
Or row a boat in thy unlucky hour !
Tliee, the year's monster, let thy dam devour,
And constant Time, to keep his course yet right,
Fill up thy space with a redoubled night.
When aged Thames was bound with fetters base,
And Midway chaste ravished before his face.
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236 THE POEMS
And their dear offspring mui*dered in their sight,
Thou and thy fellows saw the odious light.
Sad Chance, since first that happy pair was wed,
With all the rivers graced their nuptial bed ;
And father Neptune promised to resign
His empire old to their immortal line ;
Now with vain grief their vainer hopes they rue,
TJiemselves dishonoured, and the gods untrue ;
And to each other, helpless couple, moan.
As the sad tortoise for the sea does groan ;
But most they for their darling Charles complain,
And were it burned, yet less would be their
pain.
To sec that fatal pledge of sea-command,
Now in the ravisher De Ruyter's hand,
The Thames roared, swooning Medway turned
her tide.
And were they mortal, both for grief had died.
The court in flattering yet itself doth please,
(And female Stewart there rules the four seas. )
But fate does still accumulate our woes.
And Richmond her commands, as Huyter those.
After this loss, to relish discontent,
Some one must be accused by parliament.
All our miscarriages on Pett must fall.
His name alone seems fit to answer all.
Whose counsel first did this mad war beget?
Who all commands sold through the navy? Pett.
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OF MARVELL. 237
Who would not follow when the Dutch were
beat?
Who treated out the time at Bergen ? Pett.
Who the Dutch fleet with storms disabled met ?
And, rifling prizes,'lhem neglected? Pett.
Who with false news prevented the Gazette ?
The fleet divided ? writ for Rupert ? Pett.
Who all our seamen cheated of their debt,
And all our prizes who did swallow ? Pett.
Who did advise no navy out to set ?
And who the forts left unprepared ? Pett.
Who to supply with powder did forget
Languard, Sheerness, Gravesend, and Upnor ?
Pett.
Who all our ships exposed in Chatham net?
Who should it be but the fanatic Pett ?
Pett, the sea-architect in making ships,
Was the first cause of all these naval slips ;
Had he not built, none of these faults had been ;
1£ no creation, there had been no sin ;
But his great crime, one boat away he sent,
That lost our fleet and did our flight prevent.
Then, that reward might in its turn take place,
And march with punishinent in equal pace,
Southampton dead, much of the treasure's care,
And place in council, ft:ll to Duncombe's share.
All men admired he to that pitch could fly :
Powder ne'er blew tnun up so soon, so high ;
But sure his late good luisbaridry in petre.
Showed him to man:i;:i' tlie Exchequer meeter ;
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233 THE POEMS
And who the forts would not vouchsafe a com.
To lavish the king's money more would scorn ;
Who hath no chimneys, to give all, is best,
And ablest speaker, who of law hath least;
Who less esUitc, for treasurer most fit.
And for a chancellor he that has least wit ;
But tlie true cause was, that in 's brother May,
The Exchequer might the privy-purse obey.
And now draws near the parliament's return ;
Hyde and the court again begin to mourn ;
Frequent in council, earnest in debate,
All arts they try how to prolong its date.
GiTive Primate Sheldon (much in preaching
there)
. Blames the last session, and this more does fear:
With Boynton or with Middlcton 'twere sweet,
But with a parliament abhors to meet ;
And thinks 'twill ne'er be well within this nation,
Till it be governed by a Convocation.
But in the Thames' mouth still De Ruyter
laid ;
The peace not sure, new army must be paid.
Hyde saith he hourly waits for a despatch ;
Harry came post just as he showed his watch.
All to agree the articlc»^ were clear.
The Holland fleet and parliament so near,
Yet Harry must job back and all mature.
Binding, ere tlie houses meet, the treaty sure ;
Digitized by VjOOQIC
OP MARVELL. 239
And 'twixt necessity and spite, till then
Let them come up, so to go down again.
Up ambles country justice on his pad,
And vest bespeaks, to be more seemly clad.
Plain gentlemen are in stage-coach o'erthrown.
And deputy-lieutenants in their own ;
The portly burgess, through the weather hot,
Does for his corporation sweat and trot ;
And all with sun and choler come adust.
And threaten Hyde to raise a greater dust.
But fresh, as from the mint, the courtiers fine
Salute them, smiling at their vain design ;
And Turner gay up to his perch doth march.
With face new bleached, smoothed, and stiff with
starch ;
Tells them he at Whitehall had took a turn,
And for three days thence moves tliem to adjourn.
Not so, quoth Tomkins, and straight drew his
tongue,
Trusty as steel that always ready hung ;
And so proceeding in his motion warm,
The army soon raised, he doth as soon disarm.
True Trojan ! whilst this town can girls afford.
And long as cider lasts in Hereford,
The girls shall always kiss thee, though grown old.
And in eternal healths thy name be trolled.
Meanwhile the certain news of peace arrives
At court, and so reprieves their guilty lives.
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240 TlIK rOE3IS
Hyde orders Turner that he should come lato,
Lest some new Tomkins spring a fresh debate ;
The king, that early raised was from Iiis rest,
Expects, as at a play, till Turner *s dressed ;
At last, together Eaton came and he.
No dial more could with the sun agree ;
The speaker, summoned to the Lords, repairs.
Nor gave the Commons leave to say their
prayei-s,
But like his prisoners to the bar them led,
Where mute they stand to hear their sentence
read :
Trembling with joy and fear, Hyde them pro-
rogues,
And had almost mistook, and called them rogues.
Dear Painter, draw this Speaker to the foot :
Where pencil cannot, there my pen shall do*t ;
That may his body, this his mind explain ;
Paint him in golden gown with mace's train ;
Bright hair, fair face, obscure and dull of head,
Like knife with ivory hatl, and edge of U. u\ :
At prayers his eyes turn up the pious white,
But all the while his private bill *s in sight :
In chair he smoking sits like master c(K)k,
And a poll-bill does like his apron look.
Well was he skilled to season any question.
And make a sauce fit for Whitehall's dig<'-h«>n,
Whence every day, the prelate more to tuUh. *,
Court-mushrooms ready are sent in to pi<kle.
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OF MAKYELL. 241
When grievances urged, he swells like squatted
toad,
Frisks like a frog to croak a tax's load:
His patient piss he could hold longer than:
An urinal, and sit like any hen ;
At table jolly as a country host,
And soaks his sack with Norfolk like a toast ;
At night than Chanticleer more brisk and hot,.
And sergeant's wife serves him for Partelot.
Paint last the King, and a dead shade of night,.
Only dispersed by a weak taper's light.
And those bright gleams which dart along and
glare
From his clear eyes, (yet these too dart with care ;).
There, as in the calm horror all alone,
He wakes and muses of the uneasy throne,
Raise up a sudden shape with virgin's face,
Though ill agree her posture, hour or place ;.
Naked as born, and her round arms behind.
