No More Learning

When this was known, some one privily threw down a bitter libel near the standard of the Petulantes legion, which, among other things, contained these words : " We are being driven to the farthest parts of the earth like condemned crim inals, and our relations will become slaves to the Alemanni after we have delivered them from that first captivity by desperate battles. "
When this writing was taken to headquarters and read, Julian, considering the reasonableness of the complaint, ordered that their families should go to the East with them, and allowed them the use of the public wagons for the purpose of moving them. And as it was for some time doubted which road they should take, he decided, at the suggestion of the secretary Decentius, that they should go by Paris, where he himself still was, not having moved.
And so it was done, and when they arrived in the suburbs, the prince, according to his custom, met them, praising those whom he recognized, and reminding individuals of their gallant deeds, he congratulated them with courteous words, encouraging them to go cheerfully to join the emperor, as they would reap the most worthy rewards of their exertions where power was the greatest and most extensive.
And to do them the more honor, as they were going to a great distance, he invited their chiefs to a supper, when he bade them ask whatever they desired. And they, having been treated with such liberality, departed, anxious and sorrowful on two accounts, because cruel fortune was separating them at once from so kind a ruler and from their native land. And with this sorrowful feeling they retired to their camp.
But when night came on they broke out into open discon tent, and their minds being excited, as his own griefs pressed
204 JULIAN, CONSTANTIUS, AND THE PERSIAN WAR.
upon each individual, they had recourse to force, and took up arms, and with a great outcry thronged to the palace, and sur rounding it so as to prevent any one from escaping, they saluted Julian as emperor with loud vociferations, insisting vehemently on his coming forth to them ; and though they were compelled to wait till daylight, still, as they would not depart, at last he did come forth. And when he appeared, they saluted him emperor with redoubled and unanimous cheers.
But he steadily resisted them individually and collectively, at one time showing himself indignant, at another holding out his hands and entreating and beseeching them not to sully their numerous victories with anything unbecoming and not to let unseasonable rashness and precipitation awaken materials for discord. At last he appeased them, and having addressed them mildly, he added : —
" I beseech you let your anger depart for a while : without any dissension or attempt at revolution what you wish will easily be obtained. Since you are so strongly bound by love of your country, and fear strange lands to which you are unaccustomed, return now to your homes, certain that you shall not cross the Alps, since you dislike it. And I will explain the matter to the full satisfaction of the emperor, who is a man of great wisdom, and will listen to reason. "
Nevertheless, after his speech was ended, the cries were repeated with as much vigor and unanimity as ever ; and so vehement was the uproar and zeal, which did not even spare reproaches and threats, that Julian was compelled to consent. And being lifted up on the shield of an infantry soldier, and raised up in sight of all, he was saluted as Augustus with one universal acclamation, and was ordered to produce a diadem. And when he said that he had never had one, his wife's coronet or necklace was demanded.
And when he protested that it was not fitting for him at his first accession to be adorned with female ornaments, the frontlet of a horse was sought for, so that being crowned there with, he might have some badge, however obscure, of supreme power. But when he insisted that that also would be unbe coming, a man named Maurus, afterwards a count, the same who was defeated in the defile of the Succi, but who was then only one of the front-rank men of the Petulantes, tore a chain off his own neck, which he wore in his quality of standard bearer,
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and placed it boldly on Julian's head, who, being thus brought under extreme compulsion, and seeing that he could not escape the most imminent danger to his life if he persisted in his resistance, consented to their wishes, and promised a largess of five pieces of gold and a pound of silver to every man.
After this Julian felt more anxiety than ever ; and, keenly alive to the future consequences, neither wore his diadem or appeared in public, nor would he even transact the serious business which pressed upon his attention, but sought retire ment, being full of consternation at the strangeness of the recent events. This continued till one of the decurions of the palace (which is an office of dignity) came in great haste to the standards of the Petulantes and of the Celtic legion, and in a violent manner exclaimed that it was a monstrous thing that he who had the day before been by their will declared emperor should have been privily assassinated.
When this was heard, the soldiers, as readily excited by what they did not know as by what they did, began to brandish their javelins, and draw their swords, and (as is usual at times of sudden tumult) to flock from every quarter in haste and dis order to the palace. The sentinels were alarmed at the uproar, as were the tribunes and the captain of the guard, and suspect ing some treachery from the fickle soldiery, they fled, fearing sudden death to themselves.
When all before them seemed tranquil, the soldiers stood quietly awhile; and on being asked what was the cause of their sudden and precipitate movement, they at first hesitated, and then avowing their alarm for the safety of the emperor, declared they would not retire till they had been admitted into the council chamber and had seen him safe in his imperial robes. . . .
Julian, considering to what great internal divisions his con duct had given rise, and that nothing is so advantageous for the success of sudden enterprise as celerity of action, saw with his usual sagacity that if he openly avowed his revolt from the emperor, he should be safer ; and feeling uncertain of the fidel ity of the soldiers, having offered secret propitiatory sacrifices to Bellona, he summoned the army by sound of trumpet to an assembly, and standing on a tribune built of stone, with every appearance of confidence in his manner, he spoke thus : . . .
The emperor's speech was approved as though it had been the voice of an oracle, and the whole assembly was greatly
JULIAN, CONSTANTIUS, AND THE PERSIAN WAR.
excited, and being eager for a change, they all with one con sent raised a tremendous shout, and beat their shields with a violent crash, calling him a great and noble general, and, as had been proved, a fortunate conqueror and king.
And being all ordered solemnly to swear fidelity to him, they put their swords to their throats with terrible curses, and took the oath in the prescribed form, that for him they would undergo every kind of suffering, and even death itself, if necessity should require it; and their officers and all the friends of the prince gave a similar pledge with the same forms.
Nebridius the prefect alone, boldly and unshakenly refused, declaring that he could not possibly bind himself by an oath hostile to Constantius, from whom he had received many and great obligations.
When these words of his were heard, the soldiers who were nearest to him were greatly enraged, and wished to kill him ; but he threw himself at the feet of Julian, who shielded him with his cloak. Presently, when he returned to the palace, Nebridius appeared before him, threw himself at his feet as a suppliant, and entreated him to relieve his fears by giving him his right hand. Julian replied, " Will there be any conspicu ous favor reserved for my own friends if you are allowed to touch my hand? However, depart in peace as you will. " On receiving this answer, Nebridius retired in safety to his own house in Tuscany.
By these preliminary measures, Julian having learnt, as the importance of the affair required, what great influence prompt ness and being beforehand has in a tumultuous state of affairs, gave the signal to march towards Pannonia, and advancing his standard and his camp, boldly committed himself to fickle fortune.
Death and Character of Constantius.
Constantius having hastened to Antioch, according to his wont, at the first movement of a civil war which he was eager to encounter, as soon as he had made all his preparations, was in amazing haste to march, though many of his court were so unwilling as even to proceed to murmurs. For no one dared openly to remonstrate or object to his plan.
He set forth towards the end of autumn ; and when he reached the suburb called Hippocephalus, which is about three miles from the town, as soon as it was daylight he saw on his
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JULIAN, CONSTANTIUS, AND THE PERSIAN WAR. 207
right the corpse of a man who had been murdered, lying with his head torn off from the body, stretched out towards the west — and though alarmed at the omen, which seemed as if the Fates were preparing his end, he went on more resolutely, and came to Tarsus, where he caught a slight fever ; and thinking that the motion of his journey would remove the distemper, he went on by bad roads ; directing his course by Mopsucrenae, the farthest station in Cilicia for those who travel from hence, at the foot of Mount Taurus.
But when he attempted to proceed the next day he was prevented by the increasing violence of his disorder, and the fever began gradually to inflame his veins, so that his body felt like a little fire, and could scarcely be touched ; and as all remedies failed, he began in the last extremity to bewail his death ; and while his mental faculties were still entire, he is said to have indicated Julian as the successor to his power. Presently the last struggle of death came on, and he lost the power of speech. And after long and painful agony he died on the fifth of October, having lived and reigned forty years and a few months.
In accurately distinguishing the virtues and vices of Con- stantius, it will be well to take the virtues first. Always pre serving the dignity of the imperial authority, he proudly and magnanimously disdained popularity. In conferring the higher dignities he was very sparing, and allowed very few changes to be made in the administration of the finances. Nor did he ever encourage the arrogance of the soldiers.
Nor under him was any general promoted to the title of most illustrious. For there was also, as we have already men tioned, the title of most perfect. Nor had the governor of a province occasion to court a commander of cavalry ; as Con- stantius never allowed those officers to meddle with civil affairs. But all officers, both military and civil, were, accord ing to the respectful usages of old, inferior to that of the pre fect of the praetorium, which was the most honorable of all.
In taking care of the soldiers he was very cautious, an examiner into their merits, sometimes over scrupulous, giving dignities about the palace as if with scales. Under him no one who was not well known to him, or who was favored merely by some sudden impulse, ever received any high appointment in the palace. But only such as had served ten years in some capacity or other could look for such appointments as master
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of the ceremonies or treasurer. The successful candidates could always be known beforehand ; and it very seldom hap pened that any military officer was transferred to a civil office; while on the other hand none but veteran soldiers were appointed to command troops.
He was a diligent cultivator of learning, but, as his blunted talent was not suited to rhetoric, he devoted himself to ver sification; in which, however, he did nothing worth speak ing of.
In his way of life he was economical and temperate, and by moderation in eating and drinking he preserved such robust health that he was rarely ill, though when ill dangerously so. For repeated experience and proof has shown that this is the case with persons who avoid licentiousness and luxury.
He was contented with very little sleep, which he took when time and season allowed ; and throughout his long life he was so extremely chaste that no suspicion was ever cast on him in this respect, though it is a charge which, even when it can find no ground, malignity is apt to fasten on princes.
In riding and throwing the javelin, in shooting with the bow, and in all the accomplishments of military exercises, he was admirably skillful. That he never blew his nose in public, never spat, never was seen to change countenance, and that he never in all his life ate any fruit I pass over, as what has been often related before.
Having now briefly enumerated his good qualities with which we have been able to become acquainted, let us now pro ceed to speak of his vices. In other respects he was equal to average princes, but if he had the slightest reason (even if founded on wholly false information) for suspecting any one of aiming at supreme power, he would at once institute the most rigorous inquiry, trampling down right and wrong alike, and outdo the cruelty of Caligula, Domitian, or Commodus, whose barbarity he rivaled at the very beginning of his reign, when he shamefully put to death his own connections and relations.
And his cruelty and morose suspicions, which were directed against everything of the kind, were a cruel addition to the sufferings of the unhappy persons who were accused of sedition or treason.
And if anything of the kind got wind, he instituted investi gations of a more terrible nature than the law sanctioned, ap
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pointing men of known cruelty as judges in such cases ; and in punishing offenders he endeavored to protract their deaths as long as nature would allow, being in such cases more savage than even Gallienus. For he, though assailed by incessant and real plots of rebels, such as Aureolus, Posthumus, Inge- nuus, and Valens who was surnamed the Thessalonian, and many others, often mitigated the penalty of crimes liable to sentence of death ; while Constantius caused facts which were really unquestionable to be looked upon as doubtful by the excessive inhumanity of his tortures.
In such cases he had a mortal hatred of justice, even though his great object was to be accounted just and merciful : and as sparks flying from a dry wood, by a mere breath of wind are sometimes carried on with unrestrained course to the danger of the country villages around, so he also from the most trivial causes kindled heaps of evils, being very unlike that wise em peror Marcus Aurelius, who, when Cassius in Syria aspired to the supreme power, and when a bundle of letters which he had written to his accomplices was taken with their bearer, and brought to him, ordered them at once to be burned, while he was still in Illyricum, in order that he might not know who had plotted against him, and so against his will be obliged to consider some persons as his enemies.
And, as some right thinking people are of opinion, it was rather an indication of great virtue in Constantius to have quelled the empire without shedding more blood, than to have revenged himself with such cruelty.
As Cicero also teaches us, when in one of his letters to Ne- pos he accuses Caesar of cruelty, " For," says he, " felicity is nothing else but success in what is honorable ; or to define it in another way, Felicity is fortune assisting good counsels, and he who is not guided by such cannot be happy. Therefore in wicked and impious designs such as those of Caesar there could be no felicity ; and in my judgment Camillus when in exile was happier than Manlius at the same time, even if Man- lius had been able to make himself king, as he wished. "
The same is the language of Heraclitus of Ephesus, when he remarks that men of eminent capacity and virtue, through the caprice of fortune, have often been overcome by men des titute of either talent or energy. But that glory is the best when power, existing with high rank, forces, as it were, its in clinations to be angry and cruel and oppressive under the yoke,
VOL. VII. —14
210 JULIAN, CONSTANTIUS, AND THE PERSIAN WAR.
and so erects a glorious trophy in the citadel of its victorious mind.
But as in his foreign wars this emperor was unsuccessful and unfortunate, on the other hand in his civil contests he was successful; and in all those domestic calamities he covered himself with the horrid blood of the enemies of the republic and of himself ; and yielding to his elation at these triumphs in a way neither right nor usual, he erected at a vast expense triumphal arches in Gaul and the two Pannonias, to record his triumphs over his own provinces ; engraving on them the titles
as long as they should last, to those who
He was preposterously addicted to listening to his wives, and to the thin voices of his eunuchs, and some of his courtiers, who applauded all his words, and watched everything he said, whether in approval or disapproval, in order to agree with it.
The misery of these times was further increased by the insatiable covetousness of his tax-collectors, who brought him more odium than money ; and to many persons this seemed the more intolerable, because he never listened to any excuse, never took any measures for relief of the provinces when op pressed by the multiplicity of taxes and imposts ; and in addi tion to all this he was very apt to take back any exemptions which he had granted.
He confused the Christian religion, which is plain and sim ple, with old women's superstitions ; in investigating which he preferred perplexing himself to settling its questions with dignity, so that he excited much dissension ; which he further encouraged by diffuse wordy explanations : he ruined the establishment of public conveyances by devoting them to the service of crowds of priests, who went to and fro to different synods, as they call the meetings at which they endeavor to settle everything according to their own fancy.
As to his personal appearance and stature, he was of a dark complexion with prominent eyes ; of keen sight, soft hair, with his cheeks carefully shaved, and bright looking. From his waist to his neck he was rather long, his legs were very short and crooked, which made him a good leaper and runner.
. . . read the inscriptions.
of his exploits
THE C^SARS. 211
THE CAESARS.
By THE EMPEROR JULIAN.
[Flavius Claudius Jumasub, Roman emperor, nephew of Constantine the Great, was born a. d. 331. He and his half-brother Gallus were the only sur vivors of the family massacre wrought by his cousin Constantius II. , son of Con stantine, who had him educated as a Christian ; but that faith being repugnant to his intellect, and detestable as being that of the assassin, he only accepted it from compulsion and repudiated it as soon as he had the power. The schools of phi losophy at Athens taught him a symbolism in mythology which enchanted him, and determined him to reintroduce the old worship which Constantine had abandoned. In 355 Constantius made him Caesar, married him to his own daughter Helena, and gave him the government of Gaul, Spain, and Britain, with headquarters at Paris ; he was very successful against the barbarians, and the troops, who hated the gloomy tyrant Constantius, revolted, and gave him the choice of empire or death. Ho marched on Constantinople ; Constantius died while advancing to meet him, and he was left emperor without dispute, a. d. 361. He at once proclaimed his renunciation of Christianity, and an edict of universal toleration. In 363 he began a campaign against Persia to revive the glories of Trajan, and was killed while conducting a retreat. ]
Julian — It is the season of the Saturnalia ; the god, there fore, allows us to be merry ; but as I have no talent for the ludicrous, I am inclined, my friend, to blend wisdom with mirth. —
Friend
Can any one, Caesar, be so absurd as to joke seri I always thought that this was intended only for
ously?
relaxation, and to alleviate care.
Julian — You are in the right ; but that is by no means my disposition ; as I have never been addicted to scoffs, satire, or ridicule. In order, however, to comply with the ordinance of the god, shall I, by way of amusement, repeat to you a fable, which you will not, perhaps, be displeased to hear ?
Friend — You will oblige me. For I am so far from despis ing fables, that I value those which have a moral tendency, being of the same opinion with you and your (or rather our) Plato, who has discussed many serious subjects in fictions.
Julian — True.
Friend — But what and whose shall it be ?
Julian — Not an ancient one, like those of ^Esop, but a fic
tion from Mercury. This I will repeat to you as I received it from that god ; and whether it contain truth, or falsehood blended with truth, I will leave you to judge when you have heard it.
212 THE OESARS.
Friend — Enough, and more than enough, of preface. One would think that you were going to deliver an oration rather than a fable. Now then, proceed to the discourse itself.
Julian — Attend.
Romulus, sacrificing at the Saturnalia, invited all the gods, and Caesars also, to a banquet. Couches were prepared for the reception of the gods on the summit of heaven, on Olympus, the firm mansion of the Immortals.
Thither, it is said, like Hercules, Quirinus ascended. For thus, in compliance with the rumor of his divinity, we must style Romulus. Below the moon, in the highest region of the air, a repast was given to the Caesars. Thither they were wafted, and there they were buoyed up, by the lightness of the bodies with which they were invested, and the revolution of the moon. Four couches, of exquisite workmanship, were spread for the superior deities. That of Saturn was formed of pol ished ebony, which reflected such a divine luster as was insup portable. For, on viewing this ebony, the eye was as much dazzled by the excess of light, as it is by gazing steadfastly on the sun. That of Jupiter was more splendid than silver, and too white to be gold ; but whether this should be called elec- trum, or what other name should be given it, Mercury, though he had inquired of the metallists, could not precisely inform me.
On each side of them, sat on golden thrones the mother and the daughter, Juno near Jupiter, Rhea near Saturn. On the beauty of the gods, Mercury did not descant ; as that, he said, transcended my faculties, and was impossible for them to ex press. For no terms level to my comprehension, however elo quent, could sufficiently extol or do justice to the inimitable beauty of the gods.
Thrones or couches were prepared for all the other deities, according to their seniority. As to this, there was no disagree ment ; for, as Homer — instructed, no doubt, by the Muses themselves — observes, " each god has his own throne assigned him, where he is firmly and immovably fixed. "
When, therefore, they rise at the entrance of their father, they never confound or change their seats, or infringe on those of others. Every one knows his proper station.
Thus, all the gods being seated in a circle, Silenus fondly placed himself near young and beautiful Bacchus (who was close to his father Jupiter), as his foster-father and governor ;
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diverting the god, who is a lover of mirth and laughter, with his facetious and sarcastic sayings.
As soon as the table was spread for the Caesars, the first who appeared was Julius Caesar. Such was his passion for glory, that he seemed willing to contend for dominion with Jupiter himself. Silenus, observing him, said : " Behold, Jupiter, one who has ambition enough to endeavor to dethrone you. He is, you see, strong and handsome, and if he resembles me in noth ing else, his head, at least, is certainly the fellow of mine. "
Amidst these jokes of Silenus, to which the gods paid little attention, Octavianus entered. He assumed, like a chameleon, various colors, at first appearing pale, then black, dark, and cloudy, and at last exhibiting the charms of Venus and the Graces. In the luster of his eyes he seemed willing to rival the sun ; nor could any one encounter his looks. " Strange ! " cried Silenus ; " what a changeable creature is this ! what mis chief will he do us ? "
" Cease trifling," said Apollo : " after I have consigned him to Zeno, I will exhibit him to you pure as gold. Hark ye," added he to that philosopher. "Zeno, undertake the care of my pupil. " He, in obedience, suggesting to him a very few precepts, as if he had muttered the incantations of Zamolxis, soon rendered him wise and virtuous.
The third who approached was Tiberius, with a grave but fierce aspect, appearing at once both wise and martial. As he turned to sit down, his back displayed several scars, some cau teries and sores, severe stripes and bruises, scabs and tumors, imprinted by lust and intemperance. Silenus then saying : —
"Far different now thou seemest than before,"
in a much more serious tone, " Why so grave, my dear ? " said Bacchus. " That old satyr," replied he, " has terrified me, and made me inadvertently quote a line of Homer. " "Take care that he does not also pull your ears," said Bacchus; "for thus, it is said, he treated a certain grammarian. " "He had better," returned Silenus, "bemoan himself in his solitary island [Capreoe], and tear the face of some miserable fish erman. "
While they were thus joking, a dreadful monster [Caligula]
appeared. The gods averting their eyes, Nemesis delivered him to the avenging Furies, who immediately threw him into
214 THE C2ESARS.
Tartarus, without allowing Silenus to accost him. But on the approach of Claudius, Silenus began to sing the beginning of the part of Demosthenes in the Knights of Aristophanes, cajol ing Claudius. Then turning to Quirinus, "You are unjust," said he, " to invite your descendant without his freedmen, Nar cissus and Pallas. But besides them, you should also send for his wife Messalina ; for without them he appears like guards in a tragedy, mute and inanimate. "
While Silenus was speaking, Nero entered, playing on his harp and crowned with laurel. Silenus then turned to Apollo and said, " This man makes you his model. " " I shall soon un crown him," replied Apollo : " he did not imitate me in every thing, and when he did, he was a bad imitator. " Cocytus, therefore, instantly swept him away, divested of his crown.
After him, seeing many come crowding together, — Vindex, Otho, Galba, Vitellius, — Silenus exclaimed : " Where, ye gods, have you found such a multitude of monarchs ? We are suffo cated with smoke ; for beasts of this kind spare not even the temples of the gods. " Jupiter then looked at his brother Sera- pis, and said, pointing to Vespasian : " Send this miser, as soon as possible, out of Egypt, to extinguish these flames. Bid his eldest son [Titus] solace himself with a prostitute, but chain his younger son [Domitian] near the Sicilian tiger. "
Then came an old man [Nerva], of a beautiful aspect (for even old age is sometimes beautiful), in his manners most gen tle, and in his administration mild. With him Silenus was so delighted that he remained silent. " What ! " said Mercury, "have you nothing to say of this man? " "Yes, by Jupiter," he replied ; " for I charge you all with partiality, in suffering that bloodthirsty monster [Domitian] to reign fifteen years, but this man scarce a whole year. " "Do not complain," an swered Jupiter : " many good princes shall succeed him. "
Trajan immediately entered, bearing on his shoulders the Getic and Parthian trophies. Silenus, observing him, said in a low voice, but loud enough to be heard, " Our lord Jupiter must now be careful, or he will not be able to keep Ganymede to himself. " After him advanced a venerable sage [Hadrian], with a long beard, an adept in music, gazing frequently on the heavens, and curiously investigating the abstrusest subjects. " What," said Silenus, " think you of this Sophist ? Is he look
If so, one of you may tell him that the youth is not here, and thus check his madness and folly. " To these
ing for Antinous ?
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succeeded a man of moderation, not in amorous but political pursuits [Antoninus Pius]. Silenus, on seeing him, exclaimed, " Strange ! how important is he in trifles ! This old man seems to me one of those who would harangue about a pin's point. "
At the entrance of two brothers, Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Verus, Silenus contracted his brow, as he could by no means jeer or deride them. Marcus, in particular, though he strictly scrutinized his conduct with regard to his son and his wife ; as to her, in his immoderate grief for her death, though she little deserved it ; as to him, in hazarding the ruin of the empire by preferring him to a discreet son-in-law, who would have made a better prince, and studied the advantage of his son more than he did himself.
Notwithstanding these failings, Silenus could not but admire his exalted virtue. Thinking his son [Commodus] unworthy of any stroke of wit, he silently dismissed him. And he, not being able to support himself or associate with the heroes, fell down to the earth.
Pertinax then approached, still lamenting the mortal wound that he received at a banquet.
This excited the compassion of Nemesis, who said : " The authors of this deed shall not long exult ; but, Pertinax, you were culpable in being privy to the conspiracy that destroyed the son of Marcus. " He was suc ceeded by Severus, a prince inexorable in punishing. " Of him," said Silenus, " I have nothing to say ; for I am terrified by his stern and implacable looks. " His sons would have ac companied him, but Minos prevented them, and kept them at a distance. With a prudent distinction, however, he dismissed the youngest [Geta], and ordered the eldest [Caracalla] to be punished for his crimes.
That crafty murderer, Macrinus, and the youth of Emesa [Elagabalus] were driven from the sacred inclosure. But Alexander the Syrian, being placed in"the hinder ranks, be wailed his misfortune. Silenus added, O thou fool and mad man ! highly exalted as thou wert, thou didst not govern for thyself, but gavest thy wealth to thy mother, and couldst not be persuaded that it was much better to bestow it on thy friends than to hoard it. "
" All, however," said Nemesis, " who were accessory to his death I will deliver to the tormentors. " And thus the youth was dismissed.
Gallienus then entered with his father [Valerian], the latter
216 THE C. ESARS.
dragging the chain of his captivity, the other effeminate both in his dress and behavior. Silenus thus ridiculed the father : —
"
Before the ranks who marches in the van. ''
By those snowy plumes distinguished,
And to the son he said: —
" Him gold adorns, all dainty as a bride. "
Jupiter ordered them both to depart from the banquet.
They were succeeded by Claudius, on whom all the gods fixed their eyes, admiring his magnanimity, and granted the
empire to his descendants, thinking it just that the posterity of such a lover of his country should enjoy the sovereignty as long as possible.
After him entered Aurelian, as if to escape those who were accusing him before Minos; for many charges of murder, which he could not palliate or excuse, were brought against him. But my lord the Sun, who had patronized him on other occasions, assisted him also on this, by informing the gods that the Delphic oracle —
That he who evil does, should evil suffer, is righteous judgment,
had been fulfilled.
The next was Probus, who, in less than seven years rebuilt
seventy cities, and also enacted many wise laws. Having suf fered unjustly, he was honored by the gods, and his death was revenged by the punishment of his murderers. Silenus, never theless, endeavored in like manner to ridicule him ; and many of the gods urging him to be silent : " Let those who shall fol low," said he, "grow wiser by his example. Dost thou not know, O Probus, that physicians make bitter potions palatable, by infusing them in mead ? But thou, who wert always so severe and cruel that none could equal thee, hast suffered, how ever unjustly, in like manner. For no one can govern brutes, much less men, but by sometimes gratifying and indulging them ; as physicians humor their patients in trifles, that they may insure their compliance" in things essential. " "What! dear father," said Bacchus ; do you now play the philosopher upon us ? " " Why not ? " replied Silenus. " Were not you too, my son, instructed by me in philosophy ? Know you not
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217
that Socrates also held, like me, the first rank in philosophy among his contemporaries, if you credit the oracle of Delphi ? Allow me, therefore, to speak not always jocosely, but some times seriously. "
While they were thus talking, Carus with his sons [Carinus and Numerian] would have entered, had not Nemesis repulsed them. Diocletian, accompanied by the two Maximians and my grandfather Constantius, then approached, magnificently dressed. These, though they held each other by the hand, did not walk on a line with Diocletian. Three others also sur rounded him in the manner of a chorus ; but when, like har bingers, they would have preceded him, he forbade them, not thinking himself entitled to any distinction. Transferring only to them a burthen which he had borne on his own shoul ders, he walked with much greater ease. Admiring their union, the gods assigned them a seat superior to any. But Maximian behaving with imprudence and haughtiness, Silenus, though he did not think him worthy of ridicule, would not admit him into the society of the emperors. And, besides, he was not only addicted to all kinds of lasciviousness, but by his impertinent officiousness and perfidy often interrupted the harmonious con cert. Nemesis, therefore, soon banished him, and whither he went I know not, as I forgot to ask Mercury.
To this most melodious tetrachord, a harsh, disagreeable, and discordant sound succeeded. Two of the candidates Neme sis would not suffer to approach even the door of the assembly. Licinius came thus far, but having been guilty of many crimes, he was repulsed by Minos. Constantine entered, and sat some time ; and near him sat his sons. As for Magnentius, he was refused admittance, because he had never done anything lauda ble, though many of his actions might appear brilliant. But the gods, perceiving that they did not flow from a good princi ple, dismissed him much afflicted.
In this manner was the banquet prepared. At the table of the gods nothing was wanting, for all things are theirs. But
that of the heroes Mercury thought imperfect, and
of the same opinion. Quirinus had long requested to intro duce another of his descendants. But Hercules said : " I will not suffer it, Quirinus. For why have you not invited my Alexander also to the feast ? If, therefore, Jupiter, you intend to enroll any of the heroes among us, send, I entreat you, for Alexander. When we are canvassing the merits of men, why
Jupiter was
218 THE CiESARS.
should the bravest be omitted ? " What the son of Alcmena proposed was approved by Jupiter. Alexander, therefore, en tered the assembly of heroes ; but neither Ca;sar nor any one else rose up to him ; so that he was obliged to take the seat which the eldest son of Severus had left vacant, he, for his frat ricide, having been expelled. Silenus, then scoffing at Quiri- nus, said, "Take care, or this one Greek will excel all your Romans. " " By Jove," replied Quirinus, " I think that many of them are, in every respect, his equals. My posterity indeed have so much admired him that of foreign generals they style and think him only great ; not that they deem him superior to their countrymen, or are void of national prejudice. But that we shall soon determine when we have brought their merits to
for his descendants.
After this, Jupiter asked the gods whether all should enter
the lists, or whether they should adopt the practice observed in wrestling, where whoever conquers him who has gained the most victories is deemed the only victor, even of those who have been vanquished by his antagonist, though they have not been his competitors ? This was generally approved, as a just determination. Mercury then proclaimed that Cajsar should advance first, Octavianus next, and Trajan third, those being the greatest warriors. Silence being commanded, Saturn, turn ing to Jupiter, expressed his surprise at seeing martial emper ors summoned to this contest, but no philosophers. " These," he said, "are equally dear to me. Call, therefore, and intro duce Marcus [Aurelius]. " He being summoned, advanced with a serious aspect, occasioned by the labors of his mind. His eyes were hollow, his brow was contracted, and his whole form displayed unstudied beauty ; for his hair was uncombed, his beard was long, his dress simple and economical, and by scanty nourishment his body was transparent and shining, like the purest light. When he was admitted within the sacred in- closure, Bacchus said, " King Saturn and Father Jupiter, can anything imperfect be allowed among the gods ? " No answer being returned, " Let us send, then," proceeded he, " for some lover of pleasure. " "But," replied Jupiter, "it is not lawful for any one to be admitted here who does not worship us. " "Let judgment, therefore," said Bacchus, "be pronounced on him in the vestibule. We will call, with your leave, a prince,
the test ! "
Saying this, Quirinus blushed, and seemed evidently anxious
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not indeed unwarlike, but softened by pleasure and enjoyment. Let Constantine come as far as the vestibule. "
This being allowed (the mode of their contention having been previously settled), Mercury advised that every one should severally speak for himself, and that the gods should then give their votes. But of this Apollo disapproved, in sisting that the truth only, and not eloquence or the charms of oratory, ought to be discussed and examined by the gods. Jupiter, wishing to oblige all, and at the same time desirous to prolong the assembly, replied, "There can be no incon venience in directing each of them to speak by a certain measure of water, and afterwards we may interrogate them and scrutinize their thoughts. " Silenus jocosely added, "Take care, Neptune, or Trajan and Alexander, mistaking the water for nectar, will swallow it all, and so leave none for the rest. "
Neptune answered : " They were much more fond of your draughts, Silenus, than of mine. It behooves you, therefore, to be rather afraid of your own vines than of my springs. " Sile nus was chagrined, and made no reply, but afterwards attended solely to the disputants. Mercury then proclaimed : —
" The arbiter of prizes due
To signal merit now begins.
Delay no longer, Time exhorts,
But lend your ears to what the voice Of herald Mercury proclaims.
Ye kings, to whose superior sway
Of old submissive nations bowed,
Who launched in fight the hostile spear, Advance, contend, with prudent minds Oppose your rivals, and await
The just, the impartial will of Heaven ! Wisdom these think the end of life, Those, vengeance on their foes to wreak, And serve their friends : of life, of toil, Pleasure some make the single view, Feasts, nuptials, all that feeds their eyes : From dainty ornaments of dress,
Or rings, with precious gems adorned, Others superior bliss derive.
Jove will the victory decree. "
Mercury having made this proclamation, the combatants drew lots : and the lot happened to concur with the love of
220 THE C^SARS.
preeminence habitual to Caesar. This augmented his pride and arrogance ; so that Alexander would have declined the contest, had he not been encouraged and persuaded by Her cules. Alexander obtained the next turn of speaking after Caesar. When all the rest had had their proper turns assigned them, Caesar thus began : —
" It was my good fortune, O Jupiter and ye gods, to be born, after many heroes, in that illustrious city which has extended her dominion farther than any other; so that they all may be satisfied if they obtain the second place. For what other city, deducing its origin from three thousand men, has in less than six hundred years carried its conquests to the utmost extremities of the earth ? What other nation has produced so many distinguished warriors and legislators, or such devout worshipers of the gods ? Born in a city so renowned, I sur passed, by my actions, not only my contemporaries, but all the heroes that ever lived. Of my own countrymen I know not one that will deny me the superiority. But as this Grecian is so presumptuous, which of his actions will he pretend to put in competition with mine ? His Persian trophies perhaps, as if he knew not how many I won from Pompey. And who was the most experienced general, Pompey or Darius ? Which of them commanded the bravest troops ? Instead of the refuse of mankind, Pompey had in his army more warlike nations than were ever subject to Darius ; of Europeans, those who had often routed the hostile Asiatics, and of them the most valiant : Italians, Illyrians, and Gauls. Having mentioned the Gauls, can the Getic exploits of Alexander be compared with
I twice
my conquest of Gaul ! He passed the Danube once ;
passed the Rhine ; and of my German victories no one can dispute the glory. I fought with Ariovistus. I was the first Roman who dared to cross the German Ocean. Though it was a wonderful achievement, however it may be admired, more glorious was my intrepidity in being the first who leaped on shore. Of the Helvetic and Hibernian nations I say nothing; nor have I mentioned my actions in Gaul, where I took above three hundred towns and defeated two millions of men. Great as these actions were, that which followed was greater and more illustrious. Being obliged to wage war with my fellow- citizens, I vanquished the unconquered and invincible Romans. If we should be judged by the number of our battles, I fought
THE C. ESARS. 221
thrice as many as are ascribed to Alexander by his greatest panegyrists ; if by the number of towns taken, not in Asia only, but also in Europe, I reduced more. Alexander saw and revered Egypt ; I, while I feasted there, subdued it. Will you also compare the clemency of each of us, when victorious ? I pardoned my enemies, and received from them such a return as Nemesis has revenged. He never spared his enemies nor even his friends. In particular, as you dispute the pre eminence, and will not immediately yield to me, like the rest, you compel me to mention your cruel behavior to the The- bans. On the contrary, how great was my humanity to the Helvetii ! The cities of the former were burnt by you ; the cities of the latter, burnt by their own inhabitants, were re built by me. Which, in short, was most illustrious; your defeating ten thousand Greeks, or my repulsing the attacks of a hundred and fifty thousand Romans ? Much more could I add, both of Alexander and myself; but as I never had leisure to study the art of oratory, you must excuse me, and, forming a just and impartial judgment both from what I have said and what I have omitted, will, I doubt not, give me the superiority. "
"How long, O Jupiter and ye gods, shall I silently bear the insolence of this boaster ! He sets no bounds, you see, to his praise of himself or to his abuse of me. Much better would it have become him to have abstained equally from both, as both are alike intolerable, but chiefly that of depre ciating my conduct, which he made the example of his own. Such is his assurance that he has dared to ridicule his own model. You should have recollected, Caesar, the tears which you shed on hearing of the memorials that were raised in honor of my deeds. But you afterwards owed your eleva tion to Pompey, who, though he was really insignificant, was idolized by his countrymen. As to his African triumph, no great exploit, his fame was owing to the weakness and in activity of the consuls. The Servile War was not waged with men, but with the most abandoned slaves, and it was conducted by Crassus and Lucius, though Pompey had the name and the
Caesar thus concluded ; but seeming desirous of saying still more. Alexander, who before had with difficulty restrained himself, could refrain no longer, but with much anxiety and emotion, thus began : —
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reputation. Armenia and the neighboring provinces were conquered by Lucullus ; yet for these also Pompey triumphed. He was then flattered by his fellow-citizens, and named the Great. But than whom of his predecessors was he greater? Which of his actions is comparable to those of Marius, or of the two Scipios ? or of Camillus, who was almost as much the founder of Rome as this Quirinus, having rebuilt his city when it was almost falling ? For they did not arrogate to themselves the works of others, as is usual in buildings founded and finished at the public expense, where the magistrate who has only plas tered the walls, on completing the edifice inscribes the founda tion stone. But these heroes, as public artificers and architects, have justly immortalized their own names. It is no wonder, therefore, that you vanquished Pompey, scratching his head and more resembling a fox than a lion. When he was de serted by fortune, who had long favored him, you easily conquered him single. But that your success was owing to no superior abilities is evident ; for being in want of provisions (which, you know, is no small fault of a general), you fought and were defeated. And if Pompey, by his imprudence or folly, or because he could not govern his army, when he should have protracted the war, gave battle, and did not pursue his victory, his failure was the consequence of his own misconduct, not of your military skill. The Persians, on the contrary, though in every respect well prepared and amply provided, submitted to my dominion. And as it becomes a good man and a wise prince to act not only with moderation, but with justice, I took arms to revenge the Greeks on the Persians and to free Greece from civil war. Nor was it ever my intention to ravage Greece, but those only who would have prevented my march against Persia I chastised. You, after subduing the Gauls and Germans, turned your arms against your own country. What can be worse, what more infamous ?
"You have mentioned, with a sneer, 'my defeating ten thousand Greeks. ' That you yourself sprang from the Greeks, and that the Greeks inhabited the greatest part of Italy, I well know ; but on this I will not insist. With a small nation of them, the ^Etolians, your neighbors, you thought it of great consequence to make an alliance ; but after they had fought for you, why did you reduce them, and that not easily, to subjec tion ? If then, in the old age, as it has been called, of Greece,
THE CiESAftS. 223
you could scarce reduce, not the whole, but one small nation, which was scarce known when Greece was in her vigor, what would have been the event if you had been obliged to contend with Greece when nourishing and united? How much you were alarmed by the invasion of Pyrrhus, you need not be re minded. As you think the conquest of Persia such a trifle, and depreciate an enterprise so glorious, tell me why, after a war of above two thousand years [tic'], you have never subdued a small province beyond the Tigris, subject to the Parthians ? Shall I inform you ? The darts of the Persians prevented you. An tony, who served under your command, can give you an account of them. But in less than ten years I conquered both Persia and India. After this, do you dare to contend with me, who, trained to war from my childhood, performed such deeds that the remembrance of them, though they have not been sufficiently celebrated by historians, will live for ever, like those of the in
vincible Hercules, of whom I was the follower and imitator ? I rivaled, in short, my ancestor Achilles ; and, admiring Her cules, I trod in his steps as nearly as a mortal can follow a god. Thus much, O ye gods, it was necessary for me to say in my own defense against an opponent whom, perhaps, it might have been better to have silently despised. If I was guilty of any cruelties, the innocent were not the objects, but such as had frequently and notoriously offended, and had made no proper use of their opportunities. And my offenses even against them were followed by Repentance, a very wise goddess, and the pre server of those who have erred. As for my chastising the am bitious, who always hated and had often injured me, in that I thought myself excusable. "
This military harangue being concluded, the attendant of Neptune gave the hourglass to Octavianus, measuring to him a very small quantity of water, and at the same time reminding him of his insolence to that deity. On which, having reflected with his usual sagacity, omitting to say anything of others, he thus began : —
"Instead of depreciating the actions of others, O Jupiter and ye gods, I will confine my whole speech to what concerns myself. In my youth I had the government of my native city, like this illustrious Alexander. The German wars, like my father Caesar, I happily concluded. Involved in civil dissen sions, I subdued Egypt at Actium in a sea-fight. I defeated
224 THE CjESARS.
Brutus and Cassius at Philippi, and I made the son of Pompey contribute to my glory. Such, however, was my attachment to philosophy, that instead of being disgusted at the freedom assumed by Athenodorus, I pleaded with it, and revered him as a preceptor, or rather as a parent. Areus also was my friend and confidant. And, upon the whole, I was never guilty of the least offense against philosophy. As Rome, I saw, had been frequently reduced to the last extremity by intestine divisions, I so reestablished her affairs as to render them, by your assist ance, O ye gods, firm and adamantine. Without indulging an insatiable ambition, I studiously endeavored to enlarge her do minions ; but I concurred with nature in fixing the rivers Dan ube and Euphrates as their boundaries. After having subdued the Scythians and Thracians, I did not employ the long reign with which you indulged me in meditating war after war, but devoted my leisure to the correction of the evils which war had occasioned, and to legislation, in which, I apprehend, I did not consult the public welfare less than my predecessors ; nay, if I must boldly speak the truth, I consulted it more than any who have governed such an empire. For some who have commanded armies, when they might at length have rested in peace, have made one war the pretense for another, as the litigious contrive lawsuits. Others, when forced into a war, have been immersed in pleasure, and have preferred the most infamous pursuits, not only to their glory, but even to their lives. Well weighing all these things, I do not think myself entitled to the lowest place. But it becomes me to acquiesce in whatever you, O ye gods, may please to determine. "
Trajan was appointed to harangue next. Though he had a talent for speaking, such was his indolence, that he usually employed Sura to compose his orations. Bawling, rather than speaking, he displayed to the gods his Getic and Parthian tro phies. He then lamented his old age, as if that had prevented him from extending his Parthian conquests. " You fool," said Silenus, " you reigned twenty years, and this Alexander only twelve. Why, then, do you not condemn your own indolence, instead of throwing the blame on want of time ? " Provoked at this taunt, for he was not deficient in eloquence, though it was often blunted by intemperance, Trajan added : —
" O Jupiter and ye gods, when I assumed the reins of gov ernment, I found the empire in a torpid and divided state,
THE CjESARS. 225
occasioned partly by the tyranny which had long prevailed at home, and partly by the insults of the Getes abroad. I did not hesitate, however, singly to attack the nations beyond the Dan ube. That of the Getes I subdued and extirpated ; of all the most warlike, not only by their bodily strength, but by the courage with which they are inspired by the doctrine of their renowned Zamolxis. For the firm persuasion that they shall not perish, but only change their place of abode, makes them always prepared as for a journey. This enterprise I completed in less than five years. Of all the emperors who preceded me, not one was so mild to his subjects, nor can that be contested with me even with this Caesar, before unrivaled in clemency, nor by any other. The Parthians, till they insulted me, I thought it unjust to attack ; but after they had insulted me, neither my age nor the laws which allowed me to quit the serv ice prevented my invading them. Thus circumstanced, am not I, who was eminently mild to my subjects and formidable to my enemies, and who revered my divine daughter, Philos ophy, justly entitled to superior honors, and even to the first rank ?